My Lost Family

by Danny Ben-Moshe, Dasha Lisitsina

Genres: Nonfiction, Audiobook, Memoir, True Crime, Biography, History, Mystery

Audible Audio

First published October 3, 2019

Reviews

[Karla · Rating 4 out of 5]

Story 4 stars**
Audio 5 stars**
Narrator Dasha Lisitsina

[BAM doesn’t answer to her real name · Rating 2 out of 5]

Such a sad sad story
Author’s mother’s first family is destroyed when one day her husband rips the children away and moves to places unknown. Eventually she carries on and remarries has more children, of which the author. This is his story of trying to reunite his mother with his lost siblings

[Alan (the Lone Librarian rides again) Teder · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reposting after the deletion of 12 Audible Originals Dec. 17-19, 2019.
Goodreads purged about 12 (that I could identify) Audible Original audiobooks at the end of the year 2019 as they apparently did not meet guidelines. Those audiobooks that have been converted from podcasts are apparently the main issue. Others that are short novellas, memoirs or audio productions of theatrical plays may be restored or relisted. This current edition of My Lost Family is a relisting. Thanks to Goodreads and SuperLibrarians who listen to appeals!

Original Review:
Incredible Family Saga
Review of the Audible Original audiobook edition (2019)

This was a suspenseful documentary audiobook which gradually reveals different views of a story of family abduction from over 40 years ago. Various family members are interviewed and give their own versions of the story (some of which are contradictory). Perhaps the most shocking element is that the police were never involved. The resulting investigation travels from England to Israel to Iran and finally to the USA and then back again. This was a very well done audio-memoir of an incredible family story.

My Lost Family was one of the free Audible Originals for members in October 2019.

Trivia and Link
This story is also told in the author's film documentary My Mother's Lost Children (2019) which is available to view on Vimeo On Demand in Australia, Israel and the UK. The trailer is available to view for everyone (Note: The film trailer contains spoilers for some events that occur late in the audiobook version) at My Mother's Lost Children

[Pollies · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought it was well done. It kept my attention. Parts of it touched me and made me tear up. Other parts, major plot points, infuriated me.

Here come the spoilers.
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I hated Danny's mother. At first I thought "awww she sounds like such a sweet, old lady" but that opinion quickly changed.

She kept using her age as a reason or better yet an excuse as to why she didnt go looking for her children that were kidnapped.

Oh well, you know, I met a new guy and we had a business that was doing well and you know... life goes on.


Whhhhhhhhhaaaaaaattttttttttt?????!!!!!!

What?

What?!?!!

We are talking about her children. Her children disappeared and she didnt go to the police. She didnt look for them. She went to the park and they weren't there so she just went back to her mother's house.

I was floored.

She just kept repeating over and over how she was really young and naive and was acting like it wasnt a big deal, like as if she was talking about dropping $20 on the ground and not bothering to go back and look for it. Meh. Life goes on.

Wow.

[Daria · Rating 4 out of 5]

An exceptionally interesting real-life story that somehow felt underexplored.

I was also shocked to discover that most reviewers on Goodreads indulge in vicious condemning of the mother of the stolen children. A 19-year old, she SHOULD HAVE BEEN more fearless and resourceful than James Bond in the service of Her Majesty.

Leave the poor woman alone, she has had enough.

Thanks to the family for sharing their story with the world!

[Barbara (The Bibliophage) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lots of families have mysteries that get swept under the rug and never discussed. Not all families have a son who wants to pull that mystery out, dust it off, and solve it. All while recording the relevant conversations. That's My Lost Family in a nutshell. It's short, sweet (but not saccharine), and worth listening to.

If you like true-life family relationships, dysfunction, and even genealogy, give this short audio a try.

[Janice Dimock · Rating 3 out of 5]

An Audible original podcast style story. One of the chapters was called 'It's not a pretty story', and that sums it up pretty well.
It's hard to understand why a man would steal children if he had no intention of raising them. The story is a little rough to hear.

[Anna · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is more of a podcast style audiobook than a reading of a book. However, it was well done and I enjoyed it. What a crazy and also sad thing to have happened!

[Arnis · Rating 4 out of 5]

https://poseidons99.wordpress.com/202...

[Fred Tyre · Rating 4 out of 5]

I listened to the audiobook version of this and it was hard to hear things even with the volume turned way up at certain points of the book. Ear buds might help the situation.
I am curious why I care so much about a past family, but it is interesting to hear what it was like for that time and place. It is like time travel in a way, though I wish there were less pain for the family involved.
I remember my mother gossiping about her soaps, and the things she would say matched so much what these people were saying and/or thinking about a single mother. It is so much more common place today than it was back then. The mother's version of a story was usually discounted so much back then. Of course, the men were not supposed to abuse that. Raymond did. He caused a lot of trauma to a lot of people. Actions have consequences, but some people don't stick around to see them. They let others clean up the mess.
At least the story isn't all focused on the bad side of things. This documentary is about family, and the reader really can connect with them through this gritty retelling of their past.

[Kayla · Rating 3 out of 5]

****WARNING: THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW****
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The fact that a young girl of 15 is seduced by an older gentleman in his 20's (I understand this isn't really rare in that time period but still), has 2 children and then the children are basically kidnapped. On top of her babies being kidnapped her resources for finding them are limited due to her innocence, ignorance and a language barrier that she actually gives up and starts a life with a different gentleman! I can't imagine!

3.5 stars

[Melissa De Cunto · Rating 5 out of 5]

Omg I have never heard a documentary audiobook before and this definitely not the last it kept me wanting to listen more and more of this family tragic story. Love that how they interview everyone who was involved made everyone points of view clear. I feel everyone should listen to this.

[Amanda Anger · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another Audible originals that I completed, but had my review deleted from Goodreads.

[Cheri · Rating 5 out of 5]

My original review was deleted by goodbooks.

I enjoyed this book.

[Michelle N · Rating 3 out of 5]

Short audio-memoir about a family's tragedy and re-emergence through trauma with compassion.

[Jacque · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. This was a free audiobook from Audible. I decided to take a chance on it and was not disappointed. This poor family was put through so much pain. I could feel Danny’s frustration of wanting to know more and learning each person’s side of the story. I’m not sure that he felt closure. I think the mom and daughter, Michelle did, but I feel Danny and his brother Andrew needed more time for healing to occur.

[Roxi Lee · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a really good and interesting story. A very good Audible Original ! Loved the story and the narration by the author.

[David · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a free short audio book received from Audible, a memoir of sorts. The "main characters," the father in particular, but also the mother - were pretty unlikeable. I found it mildly interesting, but not enough that I thought the listening was time well-spent.

[Lulu · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a podcast!

[Cathyg · Rating 3 out of 5]

An Audible original. Interesting story. Shows how the actions of one person can affect so many both directly and indirectly.

[Lorrie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an interesting read for me right now. I did a seminar last week on writing personal memoirs, so this coincided nicely. I liked the way he used documentary recordings to tell this story.

I also thought it showed a cultural representation of the toxicity of class and gender rolls in society. It is tragic that this woman was forced to just move on with her life because she was of a poor Jewish family. Her family and neighbors told her to accept it and get over it. They discouraged her from going to the authorities because they honestly believed they would not get just representation. In this era, they were probably correct. No wonder she had a breakdown. By the time her son is delving into the facts, this woman is so emotionally detached that she just floats with the whole thing. She has been taught that as a woman she has no voice to the point where she has learned and internalized it.

By contrast her husband, of an influential and wealthy Iranian Jewish family, is allowed to repeatedly demean women and destroy their lives over and over without any consequences. He didn’t take those children away from her because he loved and cared about them. He took them because he could. When interviewed and challenged on his actions, he basically says, so what, it is who I am. He has no consideration or love for anyone around him. His interviews infuriated me! Honestly, by the time the guy got murdered, I was ready to murder him myself.

However, this book was a interesting study on relating family history. I think we often think we have to portray our story in a rosy light when life is messy. Real life is made of so many plot holes that its convoluted chaos. Nothing works as we wish or thought it would. We get hurt by people who should know better. We hurt people when we know better.

Truth is messy and often stranger than fiction. Write your story, write your truth, because no one is going to experience life the way you do. If you don’t write it, you allow other judgements to dictate who you were.

[X · Rating 3 out of 5]

Uh... kinda hard to explain how I feel about this. On the surface it was a fascinating story, but I feel like the way it was told left room for improvement. There was some good things about it being created like a podcast; some of the players in the story (the mom and the mom's evil ex-husband) had such big personalities that came across really well on tape. But on the other hand I feel like there weren't enough details about the story-story to get pulled in. Part of me thinks that could have been improved if the story were told more like a classic memoir (written first from memory, recorded later.) The ending drops a huge bombshell, barely explains it, and then suddenly ends the narrative. It was very short so it was worth a listen though.

[Kathleen Ambrose · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is actually my second listen to this Audible Original audiobook, but my first listen was before I was participating in Goodreads so I had not reviewed or rated it.
I realized that although I vacillate in blaming the mother or the father for what happened, that “good” and “bad” runs through both of them, as it does through us all. The interviews and the story itself are not impartial because it told by someone fates the best perhaps in this family story.
Interesting that the last words are those of the mother who talks about how blessed she was by God by the way things played out, meanwhile ignoring the lives hurt in actions taken and not taken.

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

AA: Easy and quick and interesting

[Alex Shrugged · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have been avoiding listening to this Audible Original documentary. Even though it involved Jewish subjects (I am Jewish) I thought it might be depressing. I was wrong. This is a very well done and personal documentary on the life of the narrator's mother, her first marriage and the kidnapping of her children by her (now) ex-husband. The narrator/documentarian is the son of her second marriage. This has been a part of his family's story for a long time and he wanted to resolve it, maybe find her missing children (now adults) and perhaps confront the ex-husband to find out why he did it. I don't think I'm giving anything away by saying that the narrator/documentarian accomplishes his major goals. I'm not sure everything was resolved, but it was clearly discussed so that everyone understood if not approved.

Any problems with this documentary? Well... it wasn't perfect. I suppose that was to be expected. The documentary was composed of real interviews with people who found the subject embarrassing to talk about. After all, there was an implied question, "Why didn't you do more?" There was also the fact that his mother was in her 70s and he made it apparent from the beginning that she had the problems of the elderly... such as remembering the entry code to her own apartment building.

Also throughout the interviews she repeated that she was very young when this all happened. This almost ruined the documentary, but I made allowances for her age. After all... I have developed the same problem as I have gotten older. My son told me that he has noticed my diminishing capacity for a couple of years now. I'm sure this is true.

Any modesty issues? The subject itself is a modesty issue. The documentary delves into human failure, child abandonment, and a comparison about what was considered normal 50 years ago and what is considered normal today. Most of it is implied, but easy to figure out.

I'd probably listen to this documentary again.

[M · Rating 2 out of 5]

The story felt unfocused and unfinished. I appreciate that it is a sad and difficult story for the author to tell, and perhaps a tough thing to interview family members about such an emotional subject, but it often felt like he just let the story lie rather than ask obvious questions. Even the timeline is conveyed in a spotty way.

*spoilers*

I found it hard to tell if the mother was cold and unfeeling, or simply disassociating from a traumatic experience. All she really has to say is that she was young and was having fun with her new husband so she didn’t think to look for her children, and that in the end she didn’t have a bad life - it’s strange. She doesn’t seem to have a real story of why/how this all happened or any understanding that the impact on her children was at least equal to the impact on herself. Even when she acknowledges it, her anger is all for how Raymond treated her. I really wanted her to be questioned more fully. Failing that, an deeper exploration of the impact on Danny (as her child and the author) would have given more direction and understanding to the story.

Raymond’s story too seems to be simply left. It sounds like his life was fascinating, though selfish. Why did so many people believe his lies? Were they lies? I wasn’t particularly convinced either way, though he does seem to have a history.

Even with the younger generation we hear that there are similar stories of abandonment down the line. Andrew thinks his father is a liar but blames his mother for a abandonment rather than his father for kidnap; yet there seems to be a child he himself abandoned? Again, nothing further is explored.

It is an interesting tale of family secrets, but is more enlightening in what the author fails to pursue than what he chooses to tell us.

[Megan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This Audible Original is a short (2 hours 14 minutes) audio documentary. It’s the true story about a Jewish woman in England who was seduced by a rich Iranian Jew in the 1950’s. She became pregnant at 15 and again at 16. They got married and lived with her parents, raising the children. One day the husband, Raymond took their two young children to the park and he never came back with them. The two children aged 3 and 1.5 disappeared and the mother didn’t see or hear from them again for 40 more years. This woman eventually gets remarried and has two more children, but the actions of Raymond affected not only her and her children, but the next generations as well. I enjoyed the listen, told through the interviews with the various players. Raymond’s daughter gives him an excuse of defense in the end--”most people stay in unhappy relationships, but not my father. He just left whenever he was unhappy and lived his life however he wanted. You have to admire that.” Sorry, daughter Michelle, but I don’t agree. I think he is a completely despicable man. Enduring unhappy moments is part of being a grown-up. You don’t kidnap children (which he did in more than one case) and continue getting remarried over and over and over--asking your previous lives to live in open or plural marriages after the fact. He was rich, spoiled and entitled. Just a mean selfish man.
Great interviews. Surprising and amazing story.

[Tracy Fenton · Rating 5 out of 5]

My Lost Family is a charming, emotional, often funny podcast and from the opening episode to the end I was absolutely captivated by Danny and his eccentric family. His mother Lillian, a yiddish woman now in her late 70’s reminded me so much of my own grandmothers.

What starts off quite light-hearted and funny, especially listening to Lillian trying to get Henry, her husband to open the door and answer the phone, turns quite quickly into a dark story of her past.

When Danny decides it’s time to look closely at their dark family past Lillian is concerned about how she will be viewed by the listener and as much as I wanted to feel compassion and understanding at how she dealt with her family being stolen from her when she was 19 years old, as a mother myself I couldn’t really relate and was at times shocked at her comments.

There is no doubt that life in 1950’s London for a poor Jewish immigrant family was harsh and being a young naive teenager who is swept off her feet by a rich, older Iranian jew and suddenly finds herself a mother of two toddlers by the age of 18 must have been unimaginable.

This podcast was so cleverly put together and I absolutely loved listening to each and every one of Danny’s family. Whilst the story does centre around a tragic and horrific event and listening to Lillian recount her memories is heartbreaking and very emotional, I was so pleased that the family were reunited eventually.

[Mary · Rating 3 out of 5]

I couldn’t. I had to give up on it. Given the book is only 2:14 long, that’s saying something. I think this is a title that should be read visually rather than listened to, though I understand the reasons for publishing it as an audiobook. It’s just that the two primary persona of the main story (excluding the interviewer / author) are so painfully difficult to listen to. I’m sorry to give it up, but I must, as listening to the flittery, emotional, rationalizing answers of a woman in the early stages of dementia on one hand the angry, arrogant, belligerent, entitled jabs of a defiantly lonely old man on the other was enough to start sending me into a panic attack of my own. I went so far as to try to return the title, but discovered I had received it for free, which at least explained how it landed in library, as I didn’t remember purchasing it. My apologies to the author/interviewer/son. I understand this was a deeply personal and emotional project for you and your family, and I believe you captured the story and the characters. I simply could not listen to them finish the tale.

[Cindy Koch-Krol · Rating 5 out of 5]

For what it was, I enjoyed this. It sounded like the soundtrack of a documentary but without the visuals. I didn't miss much though because it was well explained. Its the story about a mother who lost two children through parental abduction, but because of the community in which she lived and the time in which it happened nothing was done about it. It was simply a matter of a father taking his children away from their mother. This woman's son is doing the documenting and interviews. He is getting the story from her, from his half-sister and brother, and he even is able to talk with their stepmother and their father. The family is healed through this documentary, a family that only vaguely knew that it was hurting. It's a good study of the aftermath of a narcissist who abuses people through bigamy and procreation. This man went on to have many more children and didn't bother to take care of any of them or their mothers, while he selfishly went on with his own life.