⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️+ I guess that I should wipe the grin off of my face - I suspect that my smiley emoji reaction wouldn’t necessarily be the most likely EXPECTED reaction to this novel, but there it is! The novel evoked a sense of nostalgia for my dear mom, for the nonsensical beliefs we had about the 1950s as being the tea party, Tupperware and cozy family era and some contemplation about gender politics then and now.
I’ve also come off of its pages rather vastly amused, feeling a bit like an old crone and wishing to explain to Miss Karma Brown, in my quivering voice, “Dearie, you got some of the details muddled, methinks... it was a pretty good try, but you weren’t there. The women’s lives were so much more.”
As a Canadian, it isn’t often that I get to walk back into some of my history, juxtaposed as it was onto an American story, and recognize the details as some so dearly familiar as those of my mother’s kitchen and my childhood. Karma Brown was honouring her grandmother which she mentioned in the acknowledgments: that woman likely would have been of the same era as my own mother, and the times were therefore familiar to me.
In The Perfect Wife, Alice Hale moves into an old suburban home with her new husband Nate. They haven’t really communicated their long term goals, and Alice finds herself railroaded into his idea of what marriage is meant to look like, while her employment situation has suddenly evaporated and she is scrambling to reinvent herself. While digging through magazines left behind by the previous owner, Nellie Murdoch, who lived there in the 1950’s, Alice finds her magazines and a well used cookbook and letters that paint an increasingly disturbing portrait of a woman caught in a difficult life and times with apparently few options.
Moving between 2018 and 1955, each woman finds themselves caught in fraught conditions, necessary to compromise who they are under the will of their determined spouses, and in Nellie’s case, abusive husband Richard. Alice herself is floundering, out of work, trying to find her way with the remnants of what was Nellie’s garden and after discovering the cookbook, decides to try her hand at the panoply of recipes within. Many of those have been handed down by Nellie’s mother, Elsie- they cover many generations and reflect those changing times.
Each woman has challenges to overcome, and the suspense builds in their stories nicely. My interest was easily maintained. I admit that I was waiting eagerly for the next featured recipe, whether it might be one I might recognize and I grinned at the reactions of the current household when faced with some of the less appealing concoctions.
As far as seeing these women as being as heroic examples of their generation - well, no. Solutions weren’t as “pat”, for those who had to live under less than ideal circumstances then; Alice, in the present story, has a much more idealized version of choice than many do now, I would hazard to guess. The conclusions were rather neat, and not too discordant, though. Just a bit out of kilter with the novel’s sales pitch, in my opinion.
Why was I grinning though? Nellie was portrayed through a very superficial prism.
The 1950’s were post war years, and I don’t think anyone young today can understand what that means. Families became more suburban- less agrarian - and reliant on grocers, town economy etc., but women continued to work hard physically.
There were no washers and dryers- ringer washers took real WORK to do laundry and clothes were hung on lines, winter and summer. Fabrics were not wash and wear- they had to be starched and ironed! Socks, sweaters, mittens and gloves were knitted- by the woman in the house! People needed to know how to do basic sewing and how to darn socks. Dishes were washed in sinks... some places still had hand pumps inside.
Jello was this wonder- a cold dessert that could be prepared, put in a cold electric refrigerator and be ready for the dinner meal! Canned, prepared soups were an outcome from the war years and became available to the consumer - who tried to figure out ways to use them instead of fancy sauce preparation, as touted by the manufacturers as time savers. Shortcuts were appreciated. Grocery shopping became a husband and wife job because few households had two vehicles. Women couldn’t just pop into a store to pick up an item. Milk was delivered, and sometimes bread too.
The 1950’s women in Karma Brown’s more superficial version cooked, baked, gardened and had Tupperware parties- I winced a bit at the lack of understanding at what their lives actually entailed, and was a bit amused. However, I did grow up loving the jellied salads (though not ones with tuna), and the Porcupines, meatballs with rice slow baked with tomato soup have been a family fav now for 60 years! I have fond memories of a Purity Flour Cookbook, and the Five Roses Flour one- My Pineapple Upsidedown Cake is found within the latter, and many of the recipes peppered through this novel.
History, cookbooks and picky details aside, the most discouraging aspect of this novel is that men are represented as such poor examples of their gender.
Quotes head chapters, chosen from magazines, quarterlies, newspapers, advice columns, books- and none paint the role expected of women in relation to the ego of men, over the years, positively.
“After you marry him- study him. If he is secretive- trust him. When he is talkative- listen to him. If he is jealous- cure him. If he favours society- accompany him. Let him think you understand him- but never let him think you manage him.” ——The Western Gazette, 1930
Or...”Remember your most important job is to build up and maintain his ego.... Morale is a woman’s business.” Edward Podolsky, Sex Today in Wedded Life
Both Nellie and Alice deal with real world issues, which women have been trying to find ways to accommodate for over a century- and the male advice has been to be passive, female advice has been to be passive aggressive- and women don’t survive well under either circumstance.
I recall recently being somewhere, and the comment made was, “ Oh, he’s a man!”. That meant whoever it was got a free pass to behave however they chose- the consequence would be inconsequential- because of their male gender.
Frankly, I find no sense in that equation but it is accepted, used and continues, to explain men behaving badly. (During these times, we might reference this as ‘gender privilege’, when one gender is unaware of its power inequity over the other and using that to its advantage.)
I can’t tell you the outcome of Recipe for a Perfect Woman; I guess there were ways and then there are more ways to resolve men behaving badly. Past generations of women certainly were much more limited than today’s...
It was a bit of fun! Worth the time to read and reflect on how times have changed- to some degree! High four stars... very much recommended!