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Be Mighty: A Woman's Guide to Liberation from Anxiety, Worry, and Stress Using Mindfulness and Acceptance

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You are stronger than your anxiety—you are mighty. In this empowering guide, you’ll find practical tools to help you shed the shackles of worry and fear and embrace a more vibrant life.

In a culture where women are still paid less for doing the same jobs, expected to juggle family and career effortlessly, and faced with the harsh realities of misogyny and sexism daily, it’s no wonder you’re also twice as likely to experience issues related to anxiety and trauma. But there are real tools you can use now tobuild personal resilience in a difficult world, move past anxious thoughts, and conquer your worries and fears. This book will help guide the way.

Be Mighty leads you on a bold quest to gain a deeper understanding of your anxiety by exploring your own “origin story”—how your early experiences led to thoughts and behaviors that may have offered comfort and protection at one time, but are now keeping you from living your best life. Using practical tools and experiential exercises based in mindfulness and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), you’ll learn to respond to present-day triggers in a new way, making choices from a more conscious, values-driven place.

So, drop that outdated armor and dive headlong into this book. You’ll emerge fresh and fierce, with the confidence to stand up for the life you want to live and the power to face life’s complexities as your best, most authentic self. It’s time to be who you truly want to be. It’s time for you to be mighty!

208 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 2, 2020

69 people are currently reading
1711 people want to read

About the author

Jill A. Stoddard

6 books61 followers
Jill Stoddard is passionate about sharing science-backed ideas from psychology to help people thrive. She is a psychologist, writer, TEDx speaker, award-winning teacher, peer-reviewed ACT trainer, and co-host of the popular Psychologists Off the Clock podcast. Dr. Stoddard is the author of three books: The Big Book of ACT Metaphors: A Practitioner’s Guide to Experiential Exercises and Metaphors in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy; Be Mighty: A Woman’s Guide to Liberation from Anxiety, Worry, and Stress Using Mindfulness and; and Imposter No More: Overcome Self-doubt and Imposterism to Cultivate a Successful Career. Her writing has also appeared in Psychology Today, Scary Mommy, Thrive Global, The Good Men Project, and Mindful Return. She regularly appears on podcasts and as an expert source for various media outlets. Dr. Stoddard received her PhD from Boston University in 2007. She lives in Newburyport, MA with her husband, two kids, and disobedient French Bulldog.

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Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
Profile Image for Genevieve Trono.
597 reviews130 followers
November 19, 2019
As someone who deals with anxiety, I am always drawn to books that talk about it in a real way. Anxiety isn't something that can be extinguished but it can be managed. Be Mighty sold me with its gorgeous cover and tag line about liberation from anxiety, worry, and stress. The introduction was just beautifully written and I love the idea that "brokenness" can actually be a wonderful tool in our paths of life. "All emotions—the ones we like and the ones we think we’d rather do without—have purpose and value."

Stoddard shares that there isn't a human that hasn't deal with some kind of struggle or pain. These struggles can get us down or they can also speak to us and help us understand what we need in our lives to be healthier and happier. Instead of working to avoid discomfort, when we let ourselves really feel, we can then really bloom as whole and imperfect people. Allowing ourselves to feel "all the things" can help guide us on our paths instead of just trying to avoid things that "hurt". "The Comfort Zone is cozy. But it is never where the magic happens."

Stoddard walks us through what stress and anxiety are and also identified how these things aren't a problem in themselves but more so when they become excessive. As someone who experienced debilitating anxiety, I appreciated the idea that it wasn't so much that it happened but that it started interfering in my daily life. Her writing is relatable but also super informative. I loved that she was able to explain this all in a completely accessible manner. Her proactive ideas like using mindfulness were explained clearly and effectively.

"Mindfulness is the key to unlocking the space between detonator and bomb, where we can slow down, observe, and experience the moment fully and without defense. This disables our autopilot, deactivates our bomb, and allows us to discover and experience life, as it is, rather than what the mind says it is."

I could go on and on about this one because I really got so much out of it but I will just say that while books about stress and anxiety are nothing new, I loved this fresh and approachable take on the subject and I highly recommend it!

Thank you to NetGalley and New Harbinger Publications for an advanced copy. All opinions are my own.
Profile Image for Karma.
245 reviews
December 17, 2019
This was a good book.

Especially great for those people who have not had a chance to explore acceptance and commitment therapy. This book serves as a nice introduction to this kind of therapy.

Although specifically geared towards women, this book can be read by men as well. Apart from the first and last chapters, there weren't many things applicable only to women.

The writing style of the author was very engaging. This made the book very easy to read.

The exercises mentioned in the book were practical and worth doing.

I would recommend the book 'The Happiness Trap' after this book. It explains ACT in a lot more detail.

I received a free copy of the book from Netgalley.
Profile Image for Kyles - BookishMe.
28 reviews2 followers
December 18, 2019
It’s difficult to write a review for this book; struggling as I did to read it. It was not the empowering read I was hoping for; particularly with the beginning and ending chapters feeling quite negative. The writing style was overly friendly; the metaphors ‘OTT’ and immature…like listening to my teenage daughter and her friends chatter. For such a small book, Be Mighty seemed overly wordy and repetitive. While there might have been some good ideas in this book, they seem to have gotten lost in the writing.
Profile Image for Joelle Egan.
269 reviews4 followers
April 19, 2020
Be Mighty: A Woman’s Guide to Liberation from Anxiety, Worry, and Stress Using Mindfulness and Acceptance by Jill Stoddard promotes a novel therapeutic approach within contemporary context and leverages cultural references in a way that is accessible and entertaining. Stoddard begins by explaining why there is such a prevalence of anxiety in western culture, particularly among women. She points out that inherent inequality, unrealistic expectations, shifting gender roles and competition have exacerbated a problem that is already endemic to our society. The author lays out the ACT (Acceptance Commitment Therapy) theory by clearly explaining its concepts and terminology; and demonstrating how the theory is uniquely suited for today. ACT uses the popular ideas behind the Mindfulness movement, adding acceptance and committed action goals to propose a new way of viewing and managing anxiety. The book reinforces the concrete steps for adopting this approach with interspersed journal prompts and summarizing “Takeaways” at the conclusion of each chapter. Personal anecdotes and case studies help to illustrate outcomes that have been experienced using ACT and underscore its easy implementation. Potential obstacles, both internal and external, are addressed with suggested strategies for overcoming some common pitfalls. The book is concise and well-structured for the non-clinician, and Stoddard’s warm colloquial tone is inviting for the reader. Pop culture references and some humorous metaphors make for easy digestion, but occasionally miss the mark and may serve to date the book prematurely. Overall, Be Mighty is a solid introduction to ACT and a helpful tool for those seeking an alternative approach to managing the distress faced by many modern women.

Thanks to the author, New Harbinger Press and Library Thing for an advance copy of this book in exchange for an unbiased review.
23 reviews
May 1, 2023
I really enjoyed this read! There were definitely some chapters that I kind of had to skip through, and some exercises that I didn’t practice, just because I felt like it didn’t resonate with my particular situation. But overall, the book does a good job at relating anxieties to real life scenarios with analogies. The author shared an interesting perspective and tools on anxiety that I’ve never heard before, and I highlighted many sections that I plan on going back to! It’s a quick and easy read, if you suffer with anxiety I think this book is a good starting point and I would recommend giving it a try.
Profile Image for Rachel.
33 reviews9 followers
February 1, 2020
What a perfect book to start 2020 with! Be Mighty reads with humor and heart. It is like having your best friend telling you what you need to hear: an honest mix of validation and encouragement. Stoddard's real magic is in the exercises - if you only read the book, you will miss out on so much! I am a therapist trained in ACT, the therapy behind Be Mighty, and found the exercises so valuable for my own development. You can understand something intellectually, but knowing it in your bones, in your heart, that is where change is made. So get this book, read it slowly, soak up all that it can teach you, then live your big, mighty life! Because the world needs you.
Thank you New Harbinger for the advance copy. All opinions are my own.
Profile Image for Leann.
63 reviews6 followers
January 4, 2020
"Be Mighty" is the book to buy for any of your friends who feel overwhelmed, not good enough, or just need a daily boost of resilience. Dr. Stoddard focuses on the anxiety and patterns that keep us feeling trapped in our lives and craving an escape. I like that she's targeting women's issues that seem to cause the most amount of worry and stress such as emotional labor, parenthood, and career advancement. Jill's voice in the book is comforting and friendly and she shares so many vulnerable stories from her own life. The strategies she provides are time-tested across a wide group of people and situations and the book breaks each step down so you know exactly what to do.
She shows us that we're not broken and don't need to be fixed. Instead, it's how we relate to the thoughts in our heads that can spin us up and wear us down. Jill has a unique voice in her explanations of what to do with our painful emotions to help soothe us.

This is the book you need to help you have an emotionally healthy new year. Eat the kale, and read this book!
Profile Image for Ashley Peterson.
Author 4 books52 followers
August 10, 2022
Be Mighty by Jill A. Stoddard draws on acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) to help women free themselves from the anxiety, worry, and stress that are holding them back.

The author observes that if you get attached to narratives about being damaged or broken, you’re “probably a frequent flier at the popular hot spot known as the Comfort Zone.” She argues that anxiety, worry, and stress aren’t actually the problem; it’s the way that we react to them that leads to suffering. In particular, attempts at avoidance and resistance get us in trouble.

The book describes an anxiety triumvirate consisting of intolerance of uncertainty, lack of perceived control, and an overinflated sense of responsibility for things happening around us. “When you are troubled by the anxiety triumvirate, you will do whatever it takes to get answers and fix the problem, all while staying in charge.” That may include excessive internet searching, reassurance-seeking, or excessive checking. While those strategies may make us feel better in the short-term (“it works, or we wouldn’t do it”), they actually provide more fuel for the anxiety triumvirate.

I thought this observation was particularly insightful: “We think we should be able to solve “problems” inside our bodies (uncomfortable thoughts, emotions, sensations, and urges) because our experience solving problems outside our bodies tells us it’s possible.” However, attempting to problem-solve anxiety leads to psychological inflexibility, which is the exact opposite of what ACT is aiming for.

In the chapter on willingness, the author points out that when you’re not willing to experience anxiety, you start feeling anxious about anxiety, so hello anxiety. She likened willingness to water, as it simply flows around things that get in its way without stopping or trying to get rid of them.

I quite liked this bit on avoidance and the comfort zone:

“Her Majesty, Avoidance, is usually ruling the queendom, manipulating you with her tempting promises of relief while holding you hostage in the Tiny Tower of the Comfort Zone. So when that childish rebel shows up kicking and screaming (“But I don’t wanna feel the feelings!”), remind her of the might of mindfulness, hand her the weapon of willingness, and send her off to dethrone that evil Avoidance queen.”

The book also talks about changing your “buts” to “ands”, the role of values, committed actions that are based on those values, and cognitive defusion (separating ourselves from our thoughts). It describes the combination of core beliefs and safety behaviours as a suit of armour that we wear to try to shield ourselves from pain, but it restricts our ability to live our lives.

ACT in general is anti-affirmations, framing it as just another way of over-attaching ourselves to stories. The author jumps on board the anti-positivity train, writing, “Affirmations, and positive self-talk in general, are often just fusion and avoidance in disguise.”

While women are the identified audience of the book and there is some attention given to societal pressures that women face, feminist issues aren’t the primary focus, and I think the book would still be quite relevant to male readers. The book is divided into short sections, making it really easy to read. It’s fairly short, and the author does a good job of succinctly explaining key ACT concepts without going into too much detail. The tone is casual and light-hearted, and I learned a new expression – “banana pants.” I think this book would be a really good fit for anyone looking for a therapy-based book that’s fun and doesn’t feel too therapy-ish.


This review first appeared on https://mentalhealthathome.org/2022/0...
2 reviews1 follower
February 28, 2020
If you are a) a woman and b) have ever found yourself struggling with anxiety, stress, or worry (seriously, who hasn’t?), this beautiful book is Dr. Stoddard's love letter to you. Be Mighty is packed full of authenticity, compassion, and humor. You will come away with concrete and practical ways to not only navigate uncomfortable feelings more effectively, but also to get connected with your personal values in the service of living a mighty and meaningful life. As it turns out, we don’t need to get rid of anxiety and stress to engage more fully and fiercely in a life rich with purpose and passion. “Wouldn’t it be liberating to just own our brokenness? Shoot, I’m broken. Big time. And I live an amazing, full, meaningful life. With all the pain, anxiety, worry, and stress that naturally come with it.”

As both a therapist and as a woman who has dealt with plenty of anxiety, I cannot recommend this book enough. The principles of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy have changed my life for the better, and Dr. Stoddard delivers the core of ACT in an accessible way that truly resonates. Additionally, she honors and acknowledges the context in which women exist and how our context contributes to our emotional experience. So often we may feel like there is something wrong with us for feeling anxious, worried, or stressed. Dr. Stoddard recognizes that the problem may have more to do with the context than with us, while still offering us tools that can empower us to reclaim ownership of our lives in the midst of pain and discomfort. Pick up a copy and see for yourself, you will not regret it!
265 reviews3 followers
March 18, 2020
Be Mighty is a book for women who want to learn more about how anxious thoughts both help and hinder actions and how we live our daily lives. It provides useful tips and exercises to help uncover issues or circumstances that may result in avoidance of situations that cause stress and worry. Because anxiety has a role to play in our lives, serving as a warning sign or indicator of danger, this book isn't about helping you get rid of anxiety. It seeks to help you understand what might trigger stress and anxiety and how to deal with it and work through it.

Many of the tips and exercises in the book rely on ACT, Acceptance Commitment Therapy, which aims to help one become more flexible and more aware of feelings, thoughts, and emotions. You will need a journal or notebook to work through the exercises to get the most out of this book. And if you are willing to put in a little time and effort, I think you will find it an excellent source to address the things that might be holding you back, whether that's stressful social encounters or that horrid little voice in your head that often tells you you aren't good enough.

Be Mighty is designed to help you make new choices and become more flexible and hopefully become more of the You that you want to be. Overall, I think it is easy to read, the exercises are easy to follow and a good choice for someone wanting to gain more confidence, and as the author says, live mightily.


Thanks to New Harbinger Publications for allowing me to read and review this book in exchange for an honest review.
More reviews at: www.susannesbooklist.blogspot.com
Profile Image for Kathleen Garber.
663 reviews33 followers
September 8, 2020
I was eager to read this book because I suffer from anxiety along with my Bipolar. The book is based on the ACT form of therapy (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.)

“ACT is a model of psychotherapy whose aim is to improve psychological flexibility, or the ability to contact the present movement more fully (including all thoughts, emotions, memories, sensations, and urges, no matter how difficult), and chose actions that are in line with deeply held personal values.”

Be Mighty by Jill A. Stoddard, PhD page 7-8
The book is fairly short at 10 chapters and 208 pages because the author recognizes that many women with anxiety don’t have time to sit down for a long book.

The chapters cover: foundation information about anxiety, worry, fear, stress and their disorders, the experience of anxiety and the drive to avoid it, present-moment awareness, alternative to avoidance, values identification, the influence of the past on your present, shedding unhelpful habits, concept of self, walking the talk and a summary.

The book had some helpful advice. The end of each chapter has a Bring it On section with activities you can do. The point is you can’t avoid anxiety, so you have to learn to live with it and live through it. I appreciate that outlook. I think I’m just not psychologically ready to deal with my anxiety yet. You have to be ready to address it to make the most out of this book.
Profile Image for Erin.
310 reviews21 followers
March 17, 2020
This book doesn't read like it was written by a professional. Does that sound like a criticism? I actually mean it as the greatest compliment. This book is accessible - you don't need a college degree to understand it. And it's even - dare I say it? - enjoyable.

Take this excerpt, describing how the author's Inner Critic (she calls it Sheila) influences her life: 'Her favorite quip is that I'm a fraud, an imposter - that I don't actually have any business writing books or sharing my so-called "knowledge" (see, that was Sheila typing "so-called" and putting "knowledge" in quotes - she can be such a jerk!)' While never discounting the struggle and pain anxiety can cause, she manages to create moments like this, which I literally laughed out loud at.

There are countless "cure your anxiety" books out there. This isn't one of those. In fact, Stoddard starts off by stating that even if you do everything "right", everything recommended, this book will not end all anxiety, because nothing ever can. I found that honest refreshing. And perhaps for that honest alone, this is the one you should actually read.

I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher.
Profile Image for Marnie Brodersen.
1 review
April 27, 2020
First and foremost, I'm not a big self-help book person but this book is so unlike anything in that genre that I've read. I have TERRIBLE anxiety and this book has really helped me to think about the me that I really want to be. Not only that but it's given me practical ways to get there. One of my favorite of the many examples is choosing someone in your life who you see as being very calm or zen and using that as a guide. The journaling is also really helpful. To boot, the author uses humorous examples from her own life and, as someone who responds well to comedy being infused into anything, I really appreciated this. I've been struggling lately with this virus and think it's probably time for me to re-read this.
Profile Image for cajunqueen.
34 reviews
July 29, 2021
Fantastic book find!!
This is a great read for every female! It has exercises, practices, and was very informative!

I loaned it to one of my friends who has been battling depression for years and corona hasn't helped her anxiety!
She was so happy she called me to have dinner and we met, ate, and talked about the book for 2 hours!
I haven't seen her that happy in years!

Even if you're not battling major depression like her, we all have some kind of stress and worries. This book gives us the tools to help combat the battles in our brains!

READ IT LADIES!
Profile Image for Julie.
142 reviews25 followers
January 12, 2020
The casual tone isn't my thing, but I will recommend this to my counseling clients as a helpful beginners' level intro to ACT practices.
Profile Image for Jessica.
15 reviews3 followers
July 25, 2020
A easy to read beginner book to self help via ACT and mindfulness skills, would recommend to some clients potentially.
119 reviews
March 10, 2024
Definitely a good read and one to share with my clients. Good exercises also
Profile Image for Tara.
169 reviews27 followers
April 3, 2024
Interesting

Such a helpful book if you facing anxiety. Read on and learn. Mindfulness takes time to learn but can be helpful.
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