德國人不意外！？為什麼德國人喜歡裸體、熱愛買保險、堅持糾正他人？剖析50個日耳曼人不正經的怪癖

by 亞當．弗萊徹(Adam Fletcher)

「我是德國人，這本書寫的是真的！我笑到流眼淚！」一本德國人看了也拍案叫絕的曠世奇書！亞馬遜讀者盛讚：句句珠璣！德國人就是這樣…… 　◎德國人認為「沒跟五個最好的男性朋友一起裸泳過，就白活了」？◎只要口袋一有點錢，就想去買保險？◎不管笑話多好笑，只要資訊有誤，一定糾正到底？◎每個德國人心中，都有一張「不能說的職業分級表」？　◎德國人旅遊，是想提醒自己：「德國的一切有多麼美好」？◎對德國人來說，最重要的空間是廚房？◎不管街上有沒有人，一定會聽「小紅人」的指示？ 英國幽默作家亞當．弗萊徹搬到柏林數年後，決定放下德語文法問題（例如間接受格與直接受格的差異），走到街上看看德國人是怎麼生活的。他發現，德國每個家庭都對資源回收上了癮！他們還很愛考證照！他開始思考，德國人到底是個什麼奇怪的生物？為什麼這裡孕生了這麼多哲學家和……裸體主義者？為什麼他們喝起酒來，讓全世界都驚訝？他們的高速公路沒有速限，但他們在每個紅燈前一定會停下來？讀完此書後，你會知道為什麼德國人這樣思考、那樣生活，以及他們怎麼會幻想在一池蘋果汽水裡裸泳？

Genres: Nonfiction, German Literature, Humor, Travel, Germany, Cultural, Contemporary

160 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2013

Reviews

[Margarita Garova · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Just because they call it spontaneity, doesn’t mean it can’t be scheduled.”

Спомням си следния показателен диалог, разиграл се около разваления принтер във франкфуртска кантора:

Аз (на английски): Принтерът току-що умря.
Колега: не е възможно, принтерът е машина и като такава, не може да умре. Само живите същества могат да умрат.

Този реален житейски епизод е илюстриран в стъпка номер 30 относно особеностите на немския хумор, където стои закъснялото за мен утешение: Germans like their humour to make logical sense.

Но пък как обожавам да разпускам с подобни книги! Шеги с национални стереотипи, погледът „отвън“ на човек, който постепенно се превръща в „един от тях“, мъчнотиите, свързани с адаптацията, които понякога отнемат години преодоляване, или нека сме честни, никога, междунационалните сравнения и разбира се, венецът на международната дружба – смесеният брак.

Адам Флетчър е англичанин (много добра изходна позиция), който заживява в странната и абсолютно непонятна страна на германите. Това са едни хора, които, за разлика от англичаните, използват пантофи в домовете си, застраховат се срещу всеки мислим риск на тоя свят и планират почивките си за пет години напред, като дестинацията неизменно е Майорка. Неговите 50 стъпки за превръщането на нещастния ауслендер в германец са самата свежест и най-доброто от британския хумор в малък формат. Въпреки шегите на всяка страница, Флетчър не се подиграва, дори се прокрадват симптоми на уважение към тези така трудолюбиви, праволинейни, пунктуални и директни хора. Явно и германците са го разбрали правилно, защото авторът все още живее там.

Книжката е подходяща, съответно ще бъде схваната, и от тези, които не са се втурнали да стават германци, които дори не са били в Германия, но са наясно с клишетата, които циркулират за тях. Ще научат (като мен) и за непознати, но устойчиви черти на немската душевност и за преките пътища, по които се стига до нея – да, те са наистина преки и директни, и не, сред тях не фигурира споменаването на войната.

В крайна сметка, няма нищо лошо, а за някои географски ширини си е направо полезно, човек да прихване по нещичко и от германците. Може би не точно свръхпрактичната мода или любовта към фойеверките, но рециклирането, спазването на основни правила на човешкото живеене и директния подход в общуването са добро начало.

Alles klar?


P.S. Книгата има и втора част, блогът на автора също си заслужава, освен това е писал и други книги, все на подобна тематика, които задължително ще издиря.

[Sleepless Dreamer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Being a Jewish person from Israel, my connotation of Germany pretty much is, "they're really nice to us now", "Berlin!!!", "Hebrew sounds nothing like German!" and "the Holocaust is in the past but it's influencing the present". So I spontaneously stumbled upon this book and read it at one sitting. I'm sure Germans would approve of my efficiency, as it's 9am and I have already finished this.

I had the pleasure of hanging out with a few German teens this summer a few days and it was an experience. I definitely saw some of the things this book is talking about.

Some examples include:
• Meals! Meals were such big things, like they literally took out everything their fridges had at dinner. I was awed by how prepared they were when we went to a concert and everyone had food ready and created an impromptu picnic. So yep, this book is so accurate about that.
• The pride in the language. Wow. I got treated to a 30 (fascinating) minute lecture on German by one of the people and I think his passion about it was only equal to when he spoke about his girlfriend.
• The humor. I didn't realize how much of my humor is compatible with German humor. It was amazing. I loved how the humor wasn't simply nonsense, it was clever and logical. Would move to Germany for the humor.
• The Berlin and Bavaria hate. I actually saw people get insulted as if Berlin and Bavaria aren't actually a part of Germany.
• Intellectualism. The love for culture was wonderful.

All in all, this book was very cute. It was funny and perhaps a bit stereotypical, but that's to be expected in these books. I loved how the Holocaust wasn't mentioned at all. I think it's time to look at Germany and not just think about this.

what I'm taking with me
• I would love to know German but unfortunately, I don't think that'll happen.
• Germany is a very cute country.
• I must taste German bread. C

[Chris Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent, I am no longer a poor Auslaender! Right, where's my certificate?

[Cvi * · Rating 5 out of 5]

Това е книгата, която хвърля буквално светлинен лъч в безграничното логично съществуване на германците. Не защото те живеят под някакъв невидим закон, следващи почти безпогрешно всички правила, a защото те, както всички други народи по света, са почти комично верни на своите навици, правещи ги по-близки до всички останали.

Историята в 50 части главни герои са безпогрешно представени черти, ястия, навици и въобще германщина, която Адам Флетчър наблюдава по време на престоя си. Хумор на килограм, над 50 вида ястия с картофи, телевизионни канали, проверка на факти през BILD и още много други типични за немското общество примери, които могат да ви накарат да си открехнете прозореца следващата вечер, защото тук всички живеят на kippen.

[Elena]

Inmediatamente después de terminar de leer este libro en un rincón de Hugendubel, di un paso en falso, resbalé en un escalón y me caí de culo. Cinco personas se giraron a mirarme, pero como mi única reacción fue decir "oops" desde el suelo, debieron asumir que no había sido nada grave. La señora más cercana a mí levantó la mirada, señaló los escalones, diciendo "esos son peligrosos", y siguió con su lectura. No sé si esto señala algo sobre los alemanes, pero este libro siempre irá asociado a esto en mi memoria.

[albi]

que me marchoooooo

[Matthew Izzo · Rating 3 out of 5]

Short and sweet, a gift from a colleague at work. A nice comical break from the usual lineup of psychology/neuroscience books I’ve been reading recently. Very relatable in the sense that I’d experienced a lot of the points made (in some form or another) over the past 6 months.

[Zorba · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is really Smart, Funny & Lovely book about Germans & their culture.

You won't feel bored at all & you'll finish it in few hours.. only if you're interested in Germans for sure, and I am :)

I want to give it 5 starts for the ideas and the writing style, but there is something I don't like in such type of books "nothing is 100% true & not even 70%".

I mean, it's a nice start to know about Germans, but I've been in Germany for about 3 months so far and I can't confirm that all the 50 steps are really typical...they're right..but not SOOO RIGHT.

Nevertheless, it stills good to have it and have some ideas to speak about on dinner with German friends hahaha...they'll be happy of how much you know about them :))

If you like Germany, READ IT!
If you study German Language, there's extra "start" for you to buy it! The book is written in both English & German language..in one book, so it's good way to practice German language as well :)

[GONZA · Rating 4 out of 5]

So funny specially because is full of stereotypes and soooo politically incorrect! I think that if you are not German but you have to live here, you will probably love this book, or at last so it was for me. There is a little bit of comfort in number.

Divertentissimo, specialmente perché é la sagra dello stereotipo ed é totalmente politicamente scorretto. Se sei uno straniero, ma devi vivere in Germania é possibile che questo libro ti piaccia tanto, o almeno cosí é stato per m, c'é del conforto nei numeri e sapere che siamo in tanti a pensare che ci sia qualcosa di fondamentalmente strano in questo popolo é confortante.

[Peter · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty good read; the author is sarcastic, but he manages to keep it funny and light-hearted and not come off seeming like a jerk.

After two years of being with a German, I would say that most of these are also fairly true, although I probably would have put them in another order. But #1 -- House shoes: that's dead on.

[Roberto Rigolin F Lopes · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book should be served with apfelschorle, they say. Here we have Adam, a bald Englishman who became German by his own choice. He is sharing 50 steps of his metamorphosis aiming at enlightening you; on your own journey or not. Why should we listen to such fool? He doesn’t even has an engineering degree. Damn, I just wrote a German review. Danke, Adam!

[Christin · Rating 1 out of 5]

Overrated:
It came to me highly recommended. I've read it and expected to laugh my a** off. But no... Nothing new, worn out jokes and not even close to funny.

If you want funny, sarcastic clichee read the "xenophobe's guide to Germany"

[78sunny · Rating 5 out of 5]

Leider ziemlich kurz, aber herrlich unterhaltsam. Ich habe es als Hörbuch gehört und da kam es sogar noch witziger herüber. In vielen Sachen habe ich mich wieder erkannt und ich musste sehr oft schmunzeln.

[Eba · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sehr lustig, weil es wahr ist. Als Ausländerin in Deutschland habe ich die meisten Anmerkungen selbst erlebt.

[Sabine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tieši, trāpīgi, asprātīgi.

[Zoe · Rating 4 out of 5]

Stereotypical to the boot but well, there is some truth in stereotypes. A friend bought me this book to help with my "Germanization" process.

[Miguel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Die beste Anleitung um Deutsch zu werden. Ein lustiges Buch das kann auch als ein Lernmittel für Deutsch Lernenden.

[James · Rating 3 out of 5]

Voll witzig und sehr präzise. Ein sehr gutes Buch für einen Engländer, der Deutscher werden möchte.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

While I have never lived in Germany, I have visited a handful of times and I have worked with Germans for over 15 years so I found this VERY informative (and hilarious).
I don't know all the ins and outs of how Germans act. All I see and hear is that they are always right, they are perfect and Americans are stupid.
What especially hit home for me was #29: Klugscheissen, which translates to Clever Shit which boils down to: Germans go out of their way to show you where you went wrong. It is so true, they do that incessantly.
Another funny chapter was #8: Obey The Red Man. Germans apparently would rather wait for the Do Not Walk to change to the "white man" that allows you to walk rather than just cross an empty street. AND they will hiss at and chastise those who will take their life in their own hands and cross that empty street. I witnessed this firsthand a couple years ago but did not realize this phenomenon existed. The owner of my company and his girl Friday were with me and I wanted to cross the street and they both reached out and pulled me back until the "Ok to cross" man appeared. Weird!

[Juan Almeyda · Rating 5 out of 5]

The title and the content may sound a bit polemic as it could be a simplified overview of the German culture. But this assumption may be wrong, based on my experience of 3 years living in Germany, I found the book quite accurate in many points.
I would like to highlight:

1. How funny is the book and how good the analogies are found, I laughed from the beginning to the end!

2. The explanations of some behaviors that really surprised me during this time (English words made in German -gecancelled-, Sunday's breakfasts, mixed beverages, lighting cigarettes with a candle, etc). Even German friends were surprised when I talked to them about some items of the book, and they were realized how funny some patterns in their behavior are (how frequently they eat potatoes and how many different preparations of it).

3. Good for learning, you can read item by item in both English and German, which makes it easier to learn the language and enjoy the reading.

[Susanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

A quick read about the idiosyncrasies of being German from the viewpoint of an Englishman. Many of the fifty characteristics are somewhat relatable, such as the blind obedience to the „Ampelmännchen“, the pedestrian stoplight, no matter if there is any traffic or not; the obsession to air out all rooms on a daily basis, or strict recycling rules. Some of them feel a bit outdated, belonging to an older generation, like watching „dinner for one“, an English slapstick comedy that airs every New Years Eve on German TV, or the idea that birthdays have to be celebrated on the actual birthday. And there were also a couple I would deny, such as all Germans lighting fireworks on New Year‘s Eve. As is true with many generalizations, they are based on some reality, but then again, they are also just a perspective of one person of a country that is more diverse than often anticipated.

[Arun Ranganath · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fun-loving, practical and easy to read book. It clearly articulates what one can expect on an average, when one moves to Germany. The culture, the intellectualism, the practical approach to life, the dry humour, the incredibly organised way of life, how to make a CV in Germany or why academic qualifications and credentials matter, how to impress a German girl, and so on!

Great fun, and its even greater fun if one has already experienced this great country! A must read book for anyone who wants to get an outside-in view about the average German!

[Tarun Mascarenhas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book with both english and German text depending on which side you start from. Details some funny german stereotypes from the perspective of a foreigner. I found most of them to be quite accurate if a bit dramatized haha. Was a fun read but slow since my level of german vocab is not quite there yet but the english side being not on the opposite page made it easier to not just translate every word but actually piece together the meanings from what I could understand and then flip the book to double check.

[Nguyen Hanh · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have been living in Germany for 8 years so I could confirm many things written in the book were so typical German and I laughed in agreement with the writer over most chapters. The book is bilingual which I found very helpful, for people with immigrant backgrounds to find the content not just relevant to avoid cultural shock but also to learn the language in an amusing way. The second book is less funny to me.

[Hanna · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read it in German to practice my German. Got me chuckling a few times. Only one problem: as I am an Ausländer moving to Bavaria I am not quite sure what to do with the ‘Hate Bavaria’ thing. Should I handle it like the Schlagers, and practice the art of ironic self hatred? Or do just I give up hope to ever being considered German by the rest of the country and start looking for a job in Frankfurt?

[Virgo Siil · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hea lustlik lugemine, saab sakslaste üle muiata või niisama kaasa noogutada. Teisalt pole see ainult sakslasi tögav, puudutab kenasti mitmetahuliselt nende argielu ja osaliselt ka kujunenud kombestiku põhjuseid. Mõndi olen juba omal nahal kogenud, mõned on Eestiski leitavad, mõnede jaoks tean nüüd valmis olla. Meenutab olemuselt Petrone "Minu Eestit", aga veel tempokam.

[Lukas Slavik · Rating 4 out of 5]

A summary of selected 50 cliche stereotypes about germans.. the target audience (frustrated) foreigners living in germans will love it, germans will criticize and feel offended writing the author, that it doesn’t make a sense and not true! That a job doesn’t need 67 academic qualifications, but inly 65 are sufficient.. the rest who never knew nothing about German culture may get confused :D

[Elle · Rating 3 out of 5]

A funny insight into the lives of Germans.
I had to read this in my second year at uni in preparation for my year abroad - I had very low expectations but Fletcher exceeded them, making witty yet smart comments about the everyday goings-on in Germany. Thanks to you, Fletcher, I can avoid being scowled at when I move to Germany in October ;)

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny, entertaining and accurate, with the perfect amount of British wit. :)
I must confess that I started reading the German version, but than switched to the English version in order to fully enjoy the English humour of it.

[Ahmed Abdelaziem · Rating 5 out of 5]

An amazing book for anyone who lived in German for sometime. I am not sure if it fits a new comer specially due to the use of so many German words within the English part of the book but the book is really funny.

I wish I can see a similar book for each country / culture in the world.