East of Ealing

Brentford #3

by Robert Rankin

'Ahead, where once had been only bombsite land, the Lateinos & Romiith building rose above Brentford. Within its cruel and jagged shadow, magnolias wilted in their window boxes and synthetic Gold Top became doorstep cheese...' Something sinister is happening east of Ealing. The prophecies of The Book of Revelation are being fulfilled. Lateinos & Romiith, a vast financial network, is changing all the rules with a plan to bar-code every living punter and dispense with old-fashioned money. A diabolical scheme, which would not only end civilisation as we know it, but seriously interfere with drinking habits at the Flying Swan. Can Armageddon, Apocalypse and other inconveniences of the modern age be stopped by the humble likes of Pooley and Omally, even with the help of Professor Slocombe and the time-warped Sherlock Holmes of Baker Street ... ?

Genres: Fantasy, Humor, Fiction, Comedy, Science Fiction, Comic Fantasy, Audiobook

284 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1984

About the author

"When Robert Rankin embarked upon his writing career in the late 1970s, his ambition was to create an entirely new literary genre, which he named Far-Fetched Fiction. He reasoned that by doing this he could avoid competing with any other living author in any known genre and would be given his own special section in WH Smith."
(from Web Site Story)

Robert Rankin describes himself as a teller of tall tales, a fitting description, assuming that he isn't lying about it. From his early beginnings as a baby in 1949, Robert Rankin has grown into a tall man of some stature. Somewhere along the way he experimented in the writing of books, and found that he could do it rather well. Not being one to light his hide under a bushel, Mister Rankin continues to write fine novels of a humorous science-fictional nature.

Reviews

[Tony · Rating 4 out of 5]

Second time around and off the shelf again as a comfortable holiday read.
One star knocked back as I wasn’t too fond of the ending, but what do I know? The rest is pretty good.

[Marcus · Rating 3 out of 5]

What can be said about Robert Rankin's Brentford Trilogy (now approaching ten books...).

That's probably a good indicator of what this series is like, actually. It's a trilogy with at least ten books, probably more. And it's balls-to-the-wall absurdity, old jokes, puns and far fetched nonsense. And it's wonderful. Rankin's books are not technically brilliant, not always laugh-out-loud funny, but they are wonderfully crafted surrealist brilliance, and they will always hold a special place in my heart.

[Isabel (kittiwake) · Rating 4 out of 5]

'And the lights upon the allotment,' said Soap, 'what would you take those to be?'
'The work of the council,' said Omally firmly, 'another plot to confound honest golfers.'
Soap burst into a paroxysm of laughter. Tears rolled down his pale cheeks and he clutched at his stomach.
'Come now,' said Pooley, 'it is no laughing matter, these lads have it in for us.'
'Have it in for you?' gasped Soap between convulsions. 'You witness a test run of laser-operated gravitational landing beams, the product of a technology beyond comprehension, and you put it down to the work of Brentford Council?'
'If you will pardon me,' said Pooley, somewhat offended, 'If it is the product of a technology beyond comprehension I hardly feel that I can be blamed for finding it so.'
'Quite', said Omalley.

1) The Antipope
2) The Brentford Triangle
3) East of Ealing
4) The Sprouts of Wrath
5) The Brentford Chainstore Massacre

I decided that I should try to fit in some re-reads of old favourites over the next few months, and I started with The Brentford Trilogy since I've got two linked books on my TBR shelf. I liked book 1 of this series, but it was book 2 that got me hooked. On the surface Brentford may appear to be a normal West London suburb, but it's actually a centre of weirdness and a magnet for the uncanny. So it's lucky that the mysterious Professor Slocombe, and local layabouts Pooley and Omalley are ready to tackle evil whenever it rears its head, with the help of the inventive genius Norman Hartnel, hollow-earther Soap Distant and the other regulars of The Flying Swan pub.

[John Defrog: global citizen, local gadfly · Rating 3 out of 5]

The third book of the Brentford Trilogy, in which Pooley and Omally are forced to deal with a high-tech Satanic takeover of Earth by way of barcoding the entire population, aided by a temporally-relocated version of Sherlock Holmes. Seems prophetic now. Sort of. Except for the bit about Sherlock Holmes. On the other hand ...

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jim Poole, John O’Malley, Professor Slocumbe and the gang at the Swan are back in time to save the world from yet another threat of annhilation. This time, the prophecies of the Book of Revelation are being fulfilled in Brentford. A giant shadowy corporation institutes a new financial system and applies a barcode to the hand of every consumer. Will the fellows, with the help of a resurrected Sherlock Holmes, be able to save civilization, or at least Brentford’s version of it? Good fun as always.

[Lucas Brown · Rating 4 out of 5]

The best of the early Brentfords. The grand scale of the ending hints towards the highs to come in Knees Up Mother Earth and Sex & Drugs & Sausage Rolls.

[Paul Devall · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bring back the Brentford Crew.

Re- the 25 or so Rankin books on my shelf makes me hark back to the early days.

I have read them all but some of the newer work has had me putting the book down never to pick it up again.

When these were written I worked in Brentford. The Flying Swan could easily have been our watering hole called The Beehive.

Although as we know. Brentford is south west of Ealing!!!

[Ruth · Rating 1 out of 5]

5 I have a love/hate relationship with humorous novels. Or rather, I find that humorous novels are like marmite. Possibly I was in the wrong frame of mind, but this was a no for me. Unable to recommend to the normal crew

[Angela · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is silly and funny, and like other Rankin books gets steadily more silly towards the end - I think this one gets a bit lost though.

[[ J o ] · Rating 4 out of 5]

[Short review from memory until I re-read and re-review at a later date:

Can't remember anything particularly. Should be a good one though, though I'm sure some RR can be downgraded.]

[Tim Robinson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Technodystopia. Metamorphosis. A Town Cut Off. An Ancient Evil. London Below. Time Travel. Too many tropes, and not always well joined up. (At least the Black Guy doesn't Die First.) Are those plot holes or just links to other books in the series? I don't know, because I haven't read them all yet. Nevertheless, plenty of action (once it gets going), and some good laughs too.


"Lateinos" is an anagram of "toenails", but "Romiith" has defeated me completely.


There is only one female character. She is mentioned in a single sentence and is asleep the whole time.

[Orinoco Womble (tidy bag and all) · Rating 2 out of 5]

A star and a half. I read this when it first came out and thought it very funny, but I was in my early 20s and easily amused. At this second reading I give it two stars for the first 25% or so, and one for the rest as the book degenerates into a sort of sci-fi/Doctor No mashup.
Rankin is no Pratchett. Though they are both obsessed with themes drawn from the Bible/Christianity, Pratchett is much the better writer.
I won't be reading any more of Rankin's output. I was bored long before the end, the longer I read the farther away the end seemed to be.

[Chris Amies · Rating 2 out of 5]

Below the usual standard of the series even at the time, Rankin paints himself into a corner with this one and apparently hits the old timey-wimey reset button. Yes, it did influence something I wrote later (London borough magically cut off?) and also probably introduced the rumour about people having barcodes inserted into their hands i.e. the mark of the Beast. But apart from that I found it unpleasant compared with the other volumes and really trying too hard.

[Andrew Lawston · Rating 5 out of 5]

Pooley and Omally drink many more pints of Large in Brentford's Flying Swan, even as strange events unfold within the bestest borough. East of Ealing seemed a little shorter than some of the other books in this series, but I thoroughly enjoyed it - the theme of data-greedy computers threatening all human life probably was far-fetched fiction in 1989 but now it feels somewhat prescient...

[Jenny Reid · Rating 3 out of 5]

"mankind had made so much progress... It could no longer survive". My favourite so far. Norman, Neville, Jim and John bumbling around apocalyptic Brentford with gun toting Holmes, a creaky time machine and their long time accomplice Merlin.

[Jo Prince · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m not sure when it was written, but it probably helps if you can remember England in the seventies.
Quirky and unpredictable, with a cast of rather hapless but likeable characters, I rather enjoyed it

[Craig Cornwell · Rating 4 out of 5]

The third of the original Brentford trilogy by Robert Rankin and another brillantly bonkers tale of far fetched fiction.
Inventive, ridiculous and even profound. It is a delight from start to finish.

[Danny Tucker · Rating 5 out of 5]

way ahead of its time, check out current conspiracy the great reset posts

[Farhad Shawkat · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bizarre! Surreal! With plenty of jokes along the way. That pretty much sums up the 'trilogy.' I feel like going back and reading the first one again.

[Stephen COUBLE · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of my favourite series. I don't know anyone who has read them that didn't love them

[Ink · Rating 5 out of 5]

This series just keeps getykng better and better! Loved the pace snd Jim and John really came into their own. Can't wait to read the next one.

[Adam Bevan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really good like the bit with sherlock and Jim finally winning the big one really got me

[Helle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very funny at times, but lacking depth and in this case also ending a bit disappointing, East of Ealing is a nice enough novel. But I guess you’d expect more from it, if there is a time travelling Sherlock Holmes in it.

[Gordon Riby · Rating 5 out of 5]

Any book that postulates that Brentford is the location of the Garden of Eden as depicted in the bible and that Penge is the true birthplace of Christ has got to be worth a read. Brilliantly funny and imaginative.

[Dan Harris · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sad to say but now I'm on the third of the Brentford books it really just seems like more of the same. I put an extra star on because I thought that what the author did with the bibilical prophecies surrounding the Mark of the Beast were quite clever, but I don't think I'll be reading any more for a good while.

As always, its interesting to see views on technology and society from a few decades back and how they've changed (apparently bar codes were scary when they were new, or at least exasperating; I guess a bit like when self-serve checkouts were new).

[Simon Bostock · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pooley and OMally are back, and this time its to thwart the ultimate evil, in the form of the book of revelations. A new company has been buying up local businesses and have constructed their headquarters in Brentford, and are now replacing cash with a barcode tattoo that allows you to access your money. Those who are protesting the system are being replaced by a duplicate who accepts the new system.

The third in the increasingly ill named Brentford trilogy, this one features many of the characters from the other books, Soap Distant, Norman the shopkeeper, Neville the part time barman, Professor Slocome, Leo Felix the Rastafarian tow truck driver, even Sherlock Holmes makes an appearance. This is the story where running gags start to make an appearance. There is also some thoughts on the giving up of ourselves to computers to cease thinking in the name of progress, which seems to be Robert's dig about the home computer boom of the 80's. Though in light of the recent adoption of ai, seems to have been simply ahead of its time.

This one has fewer sub plots and mainly concetrates on the build up to the final battle, though Neville the part time barman does get to get involved in the action do to an unfortunate becoming a titan, incident.

Overall, another excellent book in the 12 book trilogy.

[Martyn Stanley · Rating 2 out of 5]

Okay. This is the one I bought and DNF'd.

It wasn't particularly bad. It just wasn't to my taste. It suffered from all the same issues as 'Antipope' https://www.goodreads.com/review/show... and 'Brentford Triangle' https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

I suspect, I just don't get - OR didn't get the humor at the time. I might enjoy these better now and I WILL give them another chance - or at least 'Antipope' if I find my copies, then we'll go from there.

If you like random, whimsical stories with a nonsensical edge. You might appreciate this series. If the idea of a group of pub regulars including a irishman saving the world sounds entertaining - this series might be for you. By all means, give 'The Antipope' a go. I'll be honest though, I couldn't get into this, I'd read the first two books in the series and I STILL couldn't finish it and as a rule I DON'T DNF books!

Martyn Stanley
Author of:-
The Last Dragon Slayer (Free to download)

[Joseph Teller · Rating 3 out of 5]

The third book in the Brentford Trilogy, this is another humorous romp into flights of fancy that begin when Norman the shopkeeper re-invents the concept of the perpetual motion machine...

Its a great tale, of enormous proportions, which suffers from a rising crescendo that abruptly ends falling off an unexpected and rather unsatisfying cliff rather than a real ending. Rankin has always had trouble with his endings, but this has got to be one of his worse.

Still there are tons of funny bits and exciting far fetched plot, of biblical proportions.... so its hard to say it wouldn't be worth reading.

[Martin Haynes · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a holiday read. I have read quite a few of Robert Rankin's novels and enjoy his anarchic style. This book contains some of the ongoing adventures of two of the unlikeliest heroes in modern literature, Messrs O'Mally and Pooley who together with some reinforcements from Brentford once again defeat the forces of darkness in their bid to subvert creation. Only gets four stars due to its being slightly overtaken by events. However, it's a good laugh and where are Omally and Pooley when you need them, probably in The Flying Horse or down the allotment!

[Shane · Rating 4 out of 5]

As usual, a very good, very funny novel. Am looking forward to reading more of this author. Thankfully he's written a whole stream of these type of books. I liked this one at least a much as the first two, which was a pleasant surprise since it didn't seem to be quite as well received in the reviews I've seen.

Very good. Highly recommended.