Two: One Destined to Addiction the Other to be Free

by Alexander T. Polgar

Have you ever wondered why some people are addicts and others are not? TWO is the first book of four in the Freedom from Addiction series. This book takes you on the journey of two characters, Sally and Tom. They tell their story of addiction. Therapist Dr. Alexander Polgar comments on their experiences and provides an understanding of the nature of addiction. Readers will understand in a new and different way how addicts impact individuals, their friends, and families. This evidence-based psychosocial will explain how addicts are created and how this can be avoided. The number of addicts who become addicted is exponentially increasing. This is a global problem that requires an explanation on which relative prevention and intervention strategies can be based.

124 pages, Paperback

First published March 17, 2019

Reviews

[Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a copy of this for free, to review for Booktasters.

I knew that I would be presented with two stories, and my first thought was that whatever these two people had to say, it interested me. Whether I could relate to it or not didn't matter, and while I was reading, I didn't consider whether I related to any of it, or agreed with any of it, I just read the stories with no preconceptions. Of course, I noticed the differences between the two, and I found one story quite saddening to read in some ways, and the other one quite heart-warming.

I found the book to be an interesting and thought-provoking read.

Thank you to Booktasters and the author for a free copy to review.

[Nicci · Rating 5 out of 5]

Two share the story of Sally and Roger, two children whose families are juxtaposed against each other. Sally comes from a family that neglects her, while Roger is nurtured and loved. Sally lives with a single mother who cannot manage her needs, and to ward off loneliness and lack of love, she does everything in her power to get attention. This further alienated her, and she was eventually labelled as an ADHD child and medicated. Nurtured Roger, in contrast, thrives.



This story provides a clear and easy-to-understand example of how a lack of connection creates an atmosphere or environment for addiction to take shape, pointing out the importance of warmth and empathy while raising children and showing how addiction is used to ward off loneliness, emptiness, and other haunting feelings.



I enjoyed the message that medical explanations of addiction were not given the same amount of attention as cultural beliefs and widely accepted child-rearing practices, including the (sometimes inappropriate) medication of children to fit in with stifling educational norms.



Like all situations, nuance exists, and the author does explain that a child’s temperament will play a role in whether he or she thrives or survives in a particular environment. However, this move away from ‘the addictive personality’ must feel so welcome for people who struggle with addiction.



By explaining the environmental impact of a culture that isn’t particularly child-friendly, this book shows that addictions can be healed, and it is not by numbing pain but by seeking warmth, nurture, and acceptance that people struggling with addiction can heal. In this story, Sally chooses not to recreate a cycle of neglect and ends up contacting her local AA group.



I would recommend this thoughtful book for people whose family members struggle with addiction, for people who are or have struggled with addiction, and for counsellors who want to understand more about this important issue. I would also recommend this book for teenagers, those who feel lonely, and those who have friends walking a path towards substance abuse. The message is hopeful and compelling, and it will definitely make a difference.

[Chris Maddix · Rating 4 out of 5]

I previously read "Sally Survives Her Brief, Nasty Dance with Psychiatry", the third book in a series of four, which is a short description by Alexander Polgar of the experience of an archetypal patient of psychiatry. In that book, a character referred to as "Sally", an addict, explored various methods of dealing with her problem. But how did "Sally" become an addict in the first place? That questioned is answered in this, the first of four books on addiction, ironically named "Two." In this book, Dr. Polgar makes the case that addicts are created, not born, and that Sally's maladies were a result of a poor upbringing. "Two" examines two case studies, Sally and Robert, and describes why Sally became an addict and Robert did not. Sally's parents both dropped out of high school, not because they couldn't handle the academics, but because they had bad, uncaring home environments. Sally's mom became pregnant, unmarried, and as a result got little to no parental support. Her parents lost interest in each other, and home life consisted of physical and verbal battles. When Sally started school, it was diagnosed that she had a problem, and Ritalin was prescribed as the answer. In a somewhat natural sequence, alcohol and drugs replaced Ritalin. Following in the footsteps of her parents, Sally became pregnant, and the process was repeated. Robert's story was much shorter. His parents believed that the past shapes the present - they planned elaborately and provided Robert the place of safety, the "pot bellied stove" that people need. Robert thus avoided addiction.

Dr. Polgar believes that many parents fail, but they don't have to. He prescribes a conscious attempt to prevent dysfunctionality, something which can require several generations to stop the cycle. If that doesn't work, he describes the development of "external heat" on the addict, a recourse for which he recommends AA.

These books are short, easy to read, and appear to be comprehensive. Based on my experience, I would suggest reading them in order.

[Kim · Rating 5 out of 5]

I debated on whether to give this book four stars, or five, and decided on five for the sole reason of how much it made me think. I believe any book that makes one want to dive deeper in a subject is worthy of a five star rating.

So, why did I learn? I've been teaching students with cognitive disabilities for over 20 years. I have seen many kids just like Sally and Robert, and somehow the analogy of the pot belly stove really simplified the personality differences in a way that I had never thought of before. The author allows us to question him at the end, and I do believe there are exceptions to every theory but overall, I felt he was onto something. I identified mostly with Robert's story, but know of people with emotional problems, and they truly did have lifestyle upbringings more in line with Sally. I am thankful that help is available for those who need it, and hope that anyone who finds themselves in an addicted lifestyle finds that help, and manages to break the cycle before having children of their own. It was a thought provoking read and apparently part of a series.

The book is primarily about addictions and how they start out, but honestly, anyone wanting to become a parent should read the book. I don't think we understand how soon after conception a baby starts feeling emotions and how stress can affect the baby from within the womb and that stress can determine their disposition as a child. Interesting things to think about!

[Vanessa Ooms · Rating 4 out of 5]

In Two, we are taken through the life stories of Sally and Robert, and see how their environment and upbringing shaped the trajectory of their lives as well as their cognitive and emotional development or lack there of. The author does a great job of simplifying complex concepts to clearly show us how the first two years of an infants life are vitally important in their development, perception and ability to function in the world.

The concept of a "warm, pot-bellied stove" in the soul was a new one to me, and perfectly describes what is needed for an individual to be able to feel confident, loved and seen. We're shown how growing up in a safe, secure and empathically nurturing environment gives a child the tools with which to build their warm, pot-bellied stove inside themselves. This stove keeps them warm and feeling secure and confident as they mature and venture out into the world. The absence of this stove, due to dysfunctional, neglectful or abusive upbringing, creates a void in the person's soul and creates the makings of an addict, one who is constantly trying to find ways to stay warm.

This short read is an important one, and will shed light on how vital the role of a parent is. It may also spark more compassion for addicts, reduce the stigma around addiction and bring greater awareness to how we can empathically nurture our young ones.

[Fantasia Ink · Rating 5 out of 5]

"TWO" by Alexander T. Polgar Ph.D. is an intriguing book on addiction and the use of storytelling to convey lessons made the book really practical. The book explores how addiction in parents and family dynamics can influence the likelihood of addiction in children.
The way family dynamics, attraction to risk and rebellion, early behavioural issues and peer influence can be factors that can lead to addiction are properly explained in this book.
This book also delves into how past trauma, lifestyle, addiction, and sexual habits are interrelated through escapism via sexual intimacy, neglect of safe sexual practices, reinforcement of addictive behaviours, misinterpretation of love.
The book also talks on first contact with addictive substances and the process of development of addiction using storytelling.
The book also talks on sexual consequences of addiction and the consequence of addiction on relationships and intimacy.
This book also offers factual and practical help in dealing with addiction. There are so many gems that haven't been captured in this review. There's so much information to grasp. This book is a must read for anyone who needs information on addiction and how to deal with it.

[Gharam Mobarak · Rating 4 out of 5]

I knew I'd be reading two stories, and I was interested in whatever they had to share. It didn't matter if I could relate or agree; I read without any biases. I noticed the differences: one story felt sad, while the other was uplifting.
The story contrasts Sally and Roger, two children from different family backgrounds. Sally is neglected by her single mother, who struggles to meet her needs, leading Sally to seek attention desperately. This behavior alienates her further, resulting in an ADHD diagnosis and medication. In contrast, Roger, who is nurtured and loved, thrives.
The book mainly discusses addictions and their origins, but it’s a must-read for anyone considering parenthood. It highlights how early a baby starts feeling emotions and how stress during pregnancy can affect the baby, shaping their disposition as a child. It's full of thought-provoking insights!

[Het · Rating 3 out of 5]

First of all, who writes about life in the womb as if the baby is actually feeling that or having those thoughts. I agree you wanted to emphasize how from inception itself things around us shape us but there will definitely be a better way to narrate that. Secondly, why is there no narration and only simple basic sentences put together. The text neither felt on point like a scientific script and neither like a story.
The only reason for the 3 stars is for the intention of the book - how the world, people and our experiences shape us.

[ಸುಶಾಂತ ಕುರಂದವಾಡ · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a very small read but has great content. This book is good for psychological betterment. We see people with broken heart or people who have no one to share what s going through their mind. The two stories of Tom and Sally teaches about importance of parents and addiction. There are chances of inheriting the addictions from our parents and it is important how to we deal with them. We, youth get to know about them by ages but it is very difficult to understand the benefits or cons out of them. Well, author of this book explains very complex matters in very simple manner.

[Kathleen Van Lierop · Rating 5 out of 5]

Due to the interesting topic, addiction, I wanted to read this book very detailed.
Meanwhile I had lots of emotions: sadness and joy because of the two different
stories. I missed a bit of the depth of the book, on the other hand I liked
the simplicity.

I would recommend this book to anyone who is interested in the topic.

It was a bit difficult to rate this book well, so in doubt between 4 and 5 stars,
I chose the highest rating, which is 5 stars.

[Prashanth Bhat · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is the first book in a series. This small book analyses the main question: why some are getting addicted.
Tom and Sally are the main characters of this book. Through them it tells the story of an addiction.
The psychiatrist who briefly explains us about what actually happens in their minds.
Very informative book
Powerful read.

[Mindy Bormann · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought this book did a very wonderful job at how a person learns their behaviors. It went in to great detail on how a baby picks up on so much from their parents and all the surrounding people. From their feelings, to their actions even things like the time they get home. I think this book is a must read for everyone just to help understand yourselves better.

[Swati · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book helped to understand how our behavior is so closely linked to the behavior that we have learned from our parents.
However, there is hope for those who are brought into a world of addiction to be able to free themselves and the children that they will bring into the world.