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Britain: The Unauthorised Biography: From the Big Bang to Brexit
From the primitive barbarity of Stone Age man to the privileged depravity of Boris Johnson, the definitive guide to everything that has ever happened in the British Isles, including the bits that are, quite frankly, probably best forgotten. Including...
"In many ways, the gladiator games were the forerunners of modern reality shows, except that in the Romano-British version the contestants could actually die on the show rather than the audience simply wishing they would."
"Age had caught up to the once attractive queen. Half-bald and with black rotting teeth, Elizabeth announced her determination to remain a virgin to her death, and, for once, the Privy Council agreed that this was probably the best thing."
"The welfare state was to be a comprehensive system that would protect people ‘from cradle to grave’, though most of the time between cradle and grave would, of course, be spent queuing for the necessary forms.
"On one side was the Remain campaign, supported by the government, the Bank of England, the business community, the City of London, President Obama and the vast machinery of the EU itself. On the other side was Nigel Farage, a couple of Tory politicians and a big red bus. It was clearly going to be a very close-run thing."
"In many ways, the gladiator games were the forerunners of modern reality shows, except that in the Romano-British version the contestants could actually die on the show rather than the audience simply wishing they would."
"Age had caught up to the once attractive queen. Half-bald and with black rotting teeth, Elizabeth announced her determination to remain a virgin to her death, and, for once, the Privy Council agreed that this was probably the best thing."
"The welfare state was to be a comprehensive system that would protect people ‘from cradle to grave’, though most of the time between cradle and grave would, of course, be spent queuing for the necessary forms.
"On one side was the Remain campaign, supported by the government, the Bank of England, the business community, the City of London, President Obama and the vast machinery of the EU itself. On the other side was Nigel Farage, a couple of Tory politicians and a big red bus. It was clearly going to be a very close-run thing."
- GenresHistory
274 pages, Kindle Edition
Published July 7, 2019
16 people are currently reading
35 people want to read
About the author
Dave Rear
6 books5 followersDave Rear is a writer and academic who lives and works in Tokyo. He read history at Cambridge and, out of sheer lack of imagination, almost became a school teacher, until he came to his senses and emigrated. He now lectures in English language, history, social science and anything else his students let him get away with. He is married with two children, who occasionally give him five minutes or so to write.
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
January 25, 2020
Due to a tragic accident in my childhood (namely: an exceedingly dull history teacher) I am unable to remember any of the Kings or Queens of England from about Matilda I (Steven be damned!) to Henry VII.
I know Richard I was the Lionheart because of the Robin Hood myths - and I know Richard III was a creepy hunchback who killed his nephews because of Shakespeare. But Richard II? Richard II? Who was he? I must know, or at least I must've known at some point, but I cannot hold onto this fact.
As for all the Edwards and Henrys - I can never remember which was was mad, gay, religious, or all of the above, and not even Shakespeare can save me. All I know is that one of them was buddies with Falstaff. (Or is it more than one?)
I thoroughly enjoy humourous history books like this one, and this one is very good - even if none of them will ever live up to 1066 and All That: A Memorable History of England. But the real reason that I read them is the secret hope that one of them will be so stupendously hilarious that it will break the embargo on my brain and finally allow me to remember who all those Henrys and Edwards were.
Alas, I am still searching, but Dave Rear's book is not to blame. It is very funny - if you enjoy aggressively pessimistic black humour. Naturally, Rear reserves much mockery for the French, but the rest of his contempt is pretty evenly shared out across all of British society, with cynical disdain for the selfish, destructive policies of the elite, ridicule for the idiocy of the rest, and the constant reminder that life in the past was nasty, brutish, and short.
My only criticism is that it is an English biography. The Welsh and Scottish histories are included only where they join together with English history.
I know Richard I was the Lionheart because of the Robin Hood myths - and I know Richard III was a creepy hunchback who killed his nephews because of Shakespeare. But Richard II? Richard II? Who was he? I must know, or at least I must've known at some point, but I cannot hold onto this fact.
As for all the Edwards and Henrys - I can never remember which was was mad, gay, religious, or all of the above, and not even Shakespeare can save me. All I know is that one of them was buddies with Falstaff. (Or is it more than one?)
I thoroughly enjoy humourous history books like this one, and this one is very good - even if none of them will ever live up to 1066 and All That: A Memorable History of England. But the real reason that I read them is the secret hope that one of them will be so stupendously hilarious that it will break the embargo on my brain and finally allow me to remember who all those Henrys and Edwards were.
Alas, I am still searching, but Dave Rear's book is not to blame. It is very funny - if you enjoy aggressively pessimistic black humour. Naturally, Rear reserves much mockery for the French, but the rest of his contempt is pretty evenly shared out across all of British society, with cynical disdain for the selfish, destructive policies of the elite, ridicule for the idiocy of the rest, and the constant reminder that life in the past was nasty, brutish, and short.
My only criticism is that it is an English biography. The Welsh and Scottish histories are included only where they join together with English history.
November 27, 2021
More like this!?
I laugh so much I think it might have helped with my seasonal affective disorder.
Much obliged mr Rear.
What about Japan?
I laugh so much I think it might have helped with my seasonal affective disorder.
Much obliged mr Rear.
What about Japan?
August 17, 2019
SUPER FUNNY, SUPER INFORMATIVE
Most humorous books would have little to recommend them if you took out the humour. But Dave Rear's latest, an admirable successor to his "A Less Boring History of the World", would stand as an excellent potted history of Britain even if you removed the funny bits. And yet the funny bits are very funny indeed and add enormously to this informative and highly readable book. Rear's witty, cynical and equal-opportunity offensive sense of humour keeps the reader laughing as they learn.
Want to read something funny? Read this book. Want to read something that teaches you about British history? Read this book.
Most humorous books would have little to recommend them if you took out the humour. But Dave Rear's latest, an admirable successor to his "A Less Boring History of the World", would stand as an excellent potted history of Britain even if you removed the funny bits. And yet the funny bits are very funny indeed and add enormously to this informative and highly readable book. Rear's witty, cynical and equal-opportunity offensive sense of humour keeps the reader laughing as they learn.
Want to read something funny? Read this book. Want to read something that teaches you about British history? Read this book.
December 7, 2021
Laughing and Learning . . .
I truly enjoyed the levity throughout. Even if I didn’t specifically know what was going on, I still (usually) could figure out what the gibe was poking at. And actually, you will find yourself learning a bit of history or hearing familiar names along the way. If history were to be taught this way in school, rather than in the dull, yawn-inducing manner that most of it is doled out, we would all probably remember much more of it years later, having that touch of humor to bring the memory back. Or maybe it’s just my mind that works in that crazy way? So prepare a pot of tea and sit down to be entertained. I even feel invigorated enough to tackle another one of the history books sometime.
I truly enjoyed the levity throughout. Even if I didn’t specifically know what was going on, I still (usually) could figure out what the gibe was poking at. And actually, you will find yourself learning a bit of history or hearing familiar names along the way. If history were to be taught this way in school, rather than in the dull, yawn-inducing manner that most of it is doled out, we would all probably remember much more of it years later, having that touch of humor to bring the memory back. Or maybe it’s just my mind that works in that crazy way? So prepare a pot of tea and sit down to be entertained. I even feel invigorated enough to tackle another one of the history books sometime.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews