I got an ARC of this book via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
First disclaimer: if you're a dumbass like me and you read the synopsis and think this is a girl-group book: it isn't. It's two girls and two boys. Just in case you were looking for wlw rep and stumbled across this and thought this was it.
What would've made this book an automatic 5 stars for me is having a more character study perspective. These are four kids stuck in a dangerous school trip with a guide that one of them blames of killing her mother, and all of them have secrets. It's in the freaking title! But it all came and went in a scene and a half, and I really wish we had had more of that, because it was my favorite part of the book. Not that I didn't care, but I cared less about what happened to them in the rapids than about getting to really know them. They were all really interesting and potentially complex characters, but the bits and pieces we get about their stories weren't enough, and at the end it made it seem like they were all just a bunch of stereotypes and tropes and personalities tied together to make functional characters.
The rowing and climbing scenes could've done with either more or less descriptions, because it fell in the midle and it ended looking like a lot of technical words that I didn't know the meaning of, English being my second language (but good enough to have a bilingual-level understanding of it). I really didn't understand what was going on in the end, I just knew they were struggling. And the days when they were camping felt a bit repetitive, though it's understandable. I loved the campfire chats and the group-cuddling scene and I wish we'd gotten more of that, instead of cooking trouts and climbing cliffs. There also could've been more character study in those scenes so it's a win-win.
Now talking about the MC, she was a bit insufferable at times, but she was going through a grieving process so it's understandable. What I didn't get was the whole list-making thing she had going on? I felt like it was just there to make her look edgy. A situation like a boy talking to her or something would come up and she would make a list in her head of all the things she could say/do in response to it. Then she would say "my favorite options are 1 and 3, but I ended up going with a mix of 2 and 4". This happens around 5 times in the book, more or less. And I just never understood how that was supposed to be funny/sassy/edgy? The first time it was okay, I guess, but by the fourth time I was annoyed and just wanted her to be upfront with what she wantes to say/do and just SAY IT. It had nothing to do with how she behaved the rest of the book, and this isn't a multiple universes novel so it made no sense. Btw this wasn't related to her trauma at all either.
The instalove she had with another boy in the group was also just too much. They knew each other before (and the other two kids in the trip) because they went to the same school, but they thought the other was just a walking stereotype of a weird girl/football guy or whatever. They knew NOTHING about each other. And they flirted and fell in love and kissed in, what, two days? At this point I was taking deep breaths and mentalizing myself like "okay, this was written by a man, just hold on, don't go apeshit over this" but THEN........
There's a gay character. You can just TELL the author hasn't made contact with the LGBT+ community since he watched some TV show in like 2012 with a gay character. The poor boy has to explain the other kids that he didn't CHOOSE to be gay and that he can't just come out and. The four MCs were in risk of LITERALLY FREEZING TO DEATH, so they had to cuddle together, and the author made the gay boy APOLOGIZE TO THE STRAIGHT ONE because it was his turn to cuddle behind him or whatever. Listen. I know how small towns are because I happen to live in one. But no gen Z kid is so out of the loop in 2019. Maybe some son-of-conservatives, or some Christian family, sure, but your average teenager knows better than that. And even if they didn't, it's fiction, you can CHOOSE to have a more progressive, up-to-date depiction of a gay character, and you just didn't. It was irrespondible, to say the least, to handle the gay character so poorly.
Nash, the guide, also needs a bit of revision. We're told he was the MC dead mom's friend for decades, and that he was there when she tragically died. Keyword: told. He does go into a whole "I'm hiding my grief" rant near the end, I'll give you that, but we had so little material to believe that they were close, lifelong friends.
At one point, he tells the MC how her mom died and the MC is surprised, but we weren't told why it was a revelation. Did she not know how her own mom died? Did anyone lie to her? We are so entangled into her still-spiraling grief that we don't get the minimm information to know what is going on, why it affects the MC the way it does, why it's important.
Sadly the fact that she lost her mom in a river accident felt like an afterthought, like the author had three characters that he liked a lot but needed a fourth one because he didn't like the rest as POV characters so he threw in a dead mother. This needs to be more developed, with the respect it deserves.