What do you think?
Rate this book
Permission to Grieve: Creating Grace, Space, and Room to Breathe in the Aftermath of Loss
The voice behind the popular grief podcast Coming Back: Conversations on Life After Loss puts pen to paper in her first book to create a powerful permission slip for anyone facing the devastating heartbreak that comes with death, divorce, diagnosis, and so much more.
When loss steamrolls through, there’s a lot of hidden and not-so-hidden “rules” about the way you’re “supposed” to grieve: “You should be over it after a year.” “Put on a brave face.” “Keep your grief at home.”
Permission to Grieve calls out society’s garbage rules for what they really are: toxic and repressive narratives that insist we abandon our true selves in the face of grief. Shelby asks instead:
- What if we allowed grief the freedom to influence our emotions?
- What if we allowed grief the power to alter our identities at home, school, and work?
- What if we allowed grief to show up in the physical world through art, memorial, and ritual?
- What if we gave ourselves… Permission to Grieve?
Drawing on her experience as a grieving person and two years’ worth of interviews with grief experts like Megan Devine, Kerry Egan, and Caleb Wilde, Shelby Forsythia makes the case for radical, self-honoring permission—free from personal judgement and society’s restrictive timelines and rules. Permission to Grieve guides you to call your grief out of hiding and invites you to give it permission through thoughtful writing prompts, easy-to-follow exercises, and clever visual illustrations.
In this book you’ll learn:
- How society encourages us to practice life-rejection and self-abandonment instead of expressing our grief
- The three big permissions that unlock the emotions, identities, and actions our grief wants to express—featuring insights from podcast guests and Shelby Forsythia’s personal grief community
- Tips and tricks for practicing permission to grieve in the real world—including how to ask for permission to grieve from friends, family, and coworkers and tools for helping others tap into their own permission to grieve
Permission to Grieve is not a hall pass from a higher authority; it’s a personal practice that is strengthened with self-awareness, attention, and love. You don’t have to wait to receive permission to grieve; you already have it.
Permission to Grieve is a book for people who are tired of covering up and pushing down their pain. It’s a book for people who know that there’s a better, more compassionate way to approach the worst thing that has ever happened to them. It’s a book for people who believe that grief is not an enemy to be vanquished as quickly as possible, but an opportunity to connect more deeply with their human selves. Because even in the midst of loss, Shelby writes, we can create grace, space, and room to breathe.
When loss steamrolls through, there’s a lot of hidden and not-so-hidden “rules” about the way you’re “supposed” to grieve: “You should be over it after a year.” “Put on a brave face.” “Keep your grief at home.”
Permission to Grieve calls out society’s garbage rules for what they really are: toxic and repressive narratives that insist we abandon our true selves in the face of grief. Shelby asks instead:
- What if we allowed grief the freedom to influence our emotions?
- What if we allowed grief the power to alter our identities at home, school, and work?
- What if we allowed grief to show up in the physical world through art, memorial, and ritual?
- What if we gave ourselves… Permission to Grieve?
Drawing on her experience as a grieving person and two years’ worth of interviews with grief experts like Megan Devine, Kerry Egan, and Caleb Wilde, Shelby Forsythia makes the case for radical, self-honoring permission—free from personal judgement and society’s restrictive timelines and rules. Permission to Grieve guides you to call your grief out of hiding and invites you to give it permission through thoughtful writing prompts, easy-to-follow exercises, and clever visual illustrations.
In this book you’ll learn:
- How society encourages us to practice life-rejection and self-abandonment instead of expressing our grief
- The three big permissions that unlock the emotions, identities, and actions our grief wants to express—featuring insights from podcast guests and Shelby Forsythia’s personal grief community
- Tips and tricks for practicing permission to grieve in the real world—including how to ask for permission to grieve from friends, family, and coworkers and tools for helping others tap into their own permission to grieve
Permission to Grieve is not a hall pass from a higher authority; it’s a personal practice that is strengthened with self-awareness, attention, and love. You don’t have to wait to receive permission to grieve; you already have it.
Permission to Grieve is a book for people who are tired of covering up and pushing down their pain. It’s a book for people who know that there’s a better, more compassionate way to approach the worst thing that has ever happened to them. It’s a book for people who believe that grief is not an enemy to be vanquished as quickly as possible, but an opportunity to connect more deeply with their human selves. Because even in the midst of loss, Shelby writes, we can create grace, space, and room to breathe.
- GenresNonfictionSelf Help
188 pages, Paperback
Published September 4, 2019
23 people are currently reading
100 people want to read
About the author
Shelby Forsythia
5 books13 followersShelby Forsythia (she/her) is a grief coach, author, and podcast host. In 2020, she founded Life After Loss Academy, an online course and community that has helped dozens of grievers grow and find their way after death, divorce, diagnosis, and other major life transitions.
Following her mother’s death in 2013, Shelby began calling herself a “student of grief” and now devotes her days to reading, writing, and speaking about loss. Through a combination of mindfulness tools and intuitive, open-ended questions, she guides her clients to welcome grief as a teacher and create meaningful lives that honor and include the heartbreaks they’ve faced. Her work has been featured in Huffington Post, Bustle, and The Oprah Magazine.
Following her mother’s death in 2013, Shelby began calling herself a “student of grief” and now devotes her days to reading, writing, and speaking about loss. Through a combination of mindfulness tools and intuitive, open-ended questions, she guides her clients to welcome grief as a teacher and create meaningful lives that honor and include the heartbreaks they’ve faced. Her work has been featured in Huffington Post, Bustle, and The Oprah Magazine.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
September 5, 2019
As a fellow writer, I am inspired by Shelby's willingness to turn her grief story into tools to pave the way for others on the journey of navigating life after loss. Shelby's framework encouraged me to re-examine how I can continue to accept and integrate my grief into my life rather than reject and avoid feelings of loneliness, confusion, and sadness that pop up when living with loss. This book is practical, compassionate, and contemplative - a perfect companion for the sensitive souls seeking something to help them move forward.
September 4, 2019
This book really spoke to me. It was like Shelby was walking with me during my grief. Permission to Grieve helped me fill my tool box so I am better able to cope.
My favorite quote, “If you are afraid that the feelings of living a double life or not recognizing who you are will go on forever, I see you.”
My favorite quote, “If you are afraid that the feelings of living a double life or not recognizing who you are will go on forever, I see you.”
September 3, 2019
This book is relatable on so many levels to anyone dealing with death, diagnosis and the other various struggles we incur during this lifetime.
You will be finding yourself saying "that's me" and "I feel the exact same way" allowing you to feel as if you're not alone in this journey that you probably have never ever prepared yourself for.
Comforting and written with heart and soul. A must read!
You will be finding yourself saying "that's me" and "I feel the exact same way" allowing you to feel as if you're not alone in this journey that you probably have never ever prepared yourself for.
Comforting and written with heart and soul. A must read!
February 4, 2020
This was a pretty easy to read treatise on allowing yourself to grieve a loss in whatever way works for you. It acknowledges that your life won’t be the same after a loss and that you should not spend your time worrying about what other people will think - it actually gives you permission to grieve.
For me the youth of the author came through, which I think could be a great advantage for younger people, but made it slightly less relevant for me.
Also, I do have a concern that it could be interpreted as permission to “wallow”, which may be helpful in the short term, but perhaps not in the long term. But overall, this would probably be worth reading for anyone trying to cope with grief. There are enough pearls of wisdom to make it worth the time (and it won’t take too long).
For me the youth of the author came through, which I think could be a great advantage for younger people, but made it slightly less relevant for me.
Also, I do have a concern that it could be interpreted as permission to “wallow”, which may be helpful in the short term, but perhaps not in the long term. But overall, this would probably be worth reading for anyone trying to cope with grief. There are enough pearls of wisdom to make it worth the time (and it won’t take too long).
December 11, 2023
I learned a lot, and this book has helped me so much.
January 3, 2024
my therapist told me to read this book as homework before our next session and I am so thankful she did
December 15, 2019
Good, practical advice for those grieving.
September 29, 2019
I wholeheartedly recommend this book to anyone and everyone who has or is recently experiencing any type of grief. Shelby is a master communicator revealing truths of grief, tools to survive grief and even examples of permission granting vocabulary to use in her book. Her powerful words validated my exact emotions, thoughts, and feelings along my grief journey. As I read, the bookI found myself saying “yes, that’s totally how I feel” again & again. I even took notes and jotted down passages that I wanted to remember for myself or to share with family and friends. She put into words what I couldn’t. It is an easy read but extremely jam packed with a wealth of grief information. I plan on rereading it several times to let it all sink in. A notable feature in the book was the Pause Buttons. They pose challenging, thought provoking, questions which draw the reader into the situation presented...... yet another reason to reread this book. You could even answer a question a day to create a personal journal. After reading this book, I feel empowered to grant myself Permission to Grieve whenever and where ever it presents itself. Shelby truly is gifted in “writing, speaking and teaching powerful truths on grief and loss.”
By chance I became a follower of Shelby’s Grief PodCast called Coming Back four years ago right after my husband passed away. I happened upon it one sleepless night as I was searching the web for grief talks. The sincere and compassionate tone in her voice captivated me immediately. However what totally reeled me in and kept me listening was her profound intuitive nature as a grief guide, her openness and honesty when sharing her own grief losses and most compelling was her way of communicating from her heart ♥️
When she announced on her podcast she was writing a book I couldn’t wait to read it. I knew, if it was anything like her podcast, it would be a profound inspiration for all grieving souls...and ....THAT IT IS! Her book is evidence that Shelby is able to carry over her “voice” from her podcast into her writing.
I want to end my Book Review with a “Shelby” quote that speaks to me and has become my go-to phrase. I can not count the number of times I have used it throughout my grief journey. Shelby, from my ♥️ to yours...... thank you for sharing your wisdom with this world of grieving hearts! Your insight, wisdom and expertise in the area of grief never ceases to amaze me.
“BECAUSE EVEN THROUGH GRIEF WE ARE GROWING”.
Kathy
Evernote helps you remember everything and get organized effortlessly. Download Evernote.
By chance I became a follower of Shelby’s Grief PodCast called Coming Back four years ago right after my husband passed away. I happened upon it one sleepless night as I was searching the web for grief talks. The sincere and compassionate tone in her voice captivated me immediately. However what totally reeled me in and kept me listening was her profound intuitive nature as a grief guide, her openness and honesty when sharing her own grief losses and most compelling was her way of communicating from her heart ♥️
When she announced on her podcast she was writing a book I couldn’t wait to read it. I knew, if it was anything like her podcast, it would be a profound inspiration for all grieving souls...and ....THAT IT IS! Her book is evidence that Shelby is able to carry over her “voice” from her podcast into her writing.
I want to end my Book Review with a “Shelby” quote that speaks to me and has become my go-to phrase. I can not count the number of times I have used it throughout my grief journey. Shelby, from my ♥️ to yours...... thank you for sharing your wisdom with this world of grieving hearts! Your insight, wisdom and expertise in the area of grief never ceases to amaze me.
“BECAUSE EVEN THROUGH GRIEF WE ARE GROWING”.
Kathy
Evernote helps you remember everything and get organized effortlessly. Download Evernote.
November 12, 2019
Shelby is an expert at dealing with and talking about grief and it shows! There is so much care needed when we are dealing with the weight of grief and Shelby has not just been focused on her own, but with learning from and working with a host of amazing grievers. This book is thoughtful and necessary.
January 20, 2025
A no-bullshit guide to grieving any loss. Loved this and will definitely be referring back to it in the future.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews