This book was a true 1960’s time capsule and I enjoyed it for what it was. It was published in 1963 and I was reading my local public library’s copy from 1963…with the old date stamped check out card and some reader having censored phrases like “black lace panties” by crossing it out with a black pen. (Which by the way was in a joking conversation between a twelve year old brother and his twenty three year old sister!)
Informant X-14 was the key to the FBI’s last desperate hope of locating and apprehending two bank robbers before the fugitives could dispose of the teller they’d kidnapped as getaway insurance. But informant X-14 wasn’t talking….
He was purring.
Damn Cat, the twenty-five pound feline member of the Randall household, affectionately known as D.C., had become an official FBI informant after returning home from one of his nocturnal prowls with the kidnapped teller’s wristwatch around his neck. Patti Randall, at twenty-three the oldest of the Randall sibling triumvirate and head-of-the-house while their parents were in Europe, had dutifully called the FBI-who had, in turn, placed D.C. under constant surveillance. The theory was that the cat would surely return to a place where he’d been treated well, but even the FBI had underestimated the job of tracking an informant with a penchant for investigating garbage cans and crawling under parked cars.
Along with the tale of the cat, The Gordon’s tell a delightful story of Patti Randall, her sixteen year old sister and twelve year old brother, the neighbors, and the irate young man across the street who loves Patti at least as much as he hates D.C.
Undercover Cat was turned in to a Walt Disney film back in the day and I can see why. The large black cat is quite the character and the criminals felt so real…probably because they were written by an actual former FBI agent.
That’s right The Gordon’s are the husband and wife team of Mildred and Gordon Gordon. They began their writing careers on newspapers and magazines. During WWII, while Gordon was in counter-espionage for the FBI, Mildred wrote a suspense novel. In collaboration, The Gordon’s have produced a dozen Crime Club Novels, many of which have been made in to motion pictures. (Including “Experiment in Terror”) According to Mildred, they “find that in working together we come up with ideas that I’m certain neither of us singly would ever have. And we also see pitfalls and mistakes that we probably wouldn’t spot alone.”
The Gordon’s did an excellent job with their observations and a good example of that is the opening paragraph: “Patti Randall was slipping into a half world of drowsiness when the telephone aroused her. By the time she found the instrument on the floor, where her sixteen-year-old sister, Ingrid, had been using it earlier that evening, it gave one last half-ring gasp and died. Returning the phone to the stand…all evening she had been jangly, hearing noises stirred up outside by a wind busy hustling leaves in the September night. At times she would find herself listening intently, trying to sort out the sounds and identify them.” Anyone who has been left alone with their parents out of town as a child…knows about those sounds.
Patti as the oldest has been left in charge while her parents are on vacation in Europe (the father George Randall works for Lockheed and is the one who gave Damn Cat his full name because he “was always stumbling over him in the dark”. (It was not a name bandied about when their mother was within hearing.) To George, D.C. was still a “nuisance who stole his easy chair every time he got up and scattered his damn cat hairs all over everything. But he enjoyed the hoked-up enmity. He would have been as grieved as the rest of them if anything happened to D.C.” As for Mrs. Randall, “D.C. was the children’s cat, something a child needed while growing up, in the same category as the right books to read, the right school to attend.”
Here are some more items that make this a real 1960’s time capsule…Patti works as a live model for the local department store where she goes every day to model “play suits” and other clothing in front of live customers. Her two siblings Ingrid (affectionately known as Inky) and Michael both want to please their sister. Mike, who is twelve, lets off bottle rockets in the backyard in the name of science. The sister complains about having to wait for the boy to ask her to the dance, “why can’t a girl ask a boy? Why must it always be the boy?” (The older sister replied with a very eloquent and ponderable, “It’s man’s last stand in a changing world. Something like Custer’s”. How is that for 1960’s wisdom?) The answer sometimes is “the Russians”. The neighborhood gossip, Mrs. Macdougall can scandalize the whole neighborhood by gossiping that Patti had a “man in her bedroom” and the single man Greg could want to live alone…
“The idea that a man would want a house complete to garbage disposal and flower gardens, but minus a wife seemed subversive to all womanhood. And the fact that he could cook, and make up his bed every day, which was testified to by the wife with a window that looked directly into his bedroom, was a frontal assault on womankind. The consensus was, therefore, that he should either get an apartment or marry.”
Yes, Greg is the disgruntled neighbor who we meet on the first night because he comes over to rail about DC stealing a duck that he had spent all day hunting off of his porch. Greg is a lawyer by day and a little infatuated by Patti at night…so much so he is paying her siblings to give him good pr with her. Patti says of Greg, “To stay mad at him would be like trying to hold a grudge against Cary Grant.”.
There is some fun humor in the book primarily from D.C. and the twelve year old brother Mike…like when he thinks he’ll cash in on their parents missing them by asking for a bike! But occasionally, Ingrid had some great one liners like:
“That school does everything except put numbers on our backs. It’s awful. But I don’t think it’s going to be there much longer with me in the chemistry lab.” To which our FBI agent, Zeke, replied “take it from an old veteran. They never blow up or burn down.”
D.C. added a sweet but affectionate voice…somehow in a very cat like manner (proving the Gordon’s must have owned some cats), “D.C. licked him appreciatively. He was very fond of this boy he had reared through the difficult pre-teen period, when a youngster lacked the maturity to recognize that a cat’s tail was a definite member of his body.”
The FBI agent put in charge of the case, Zeke, ends up being allergic to cats…but very good at his job, quiet, and a little bit wary of women. “Suddenly conscious that Ingrid was very much a woman-lovely, sweet, uncomplicated. He had no idea how they could become so calculating and devious by twenty-five.”…”Golly, he was thinking, I’d like someday to have a daughter like her. The trouble was, you never knew how they would turn out. If only they were returnable merchandise…” “And still, he gave an impression of quiet determination and singleness of purpose that would carry him plodding over any mountain.”
Oh! I learned that all FBI agents are attorneys, I didn’t know that.
Sound cones, tail painting, and a Beverly Hills psychiatrist specializing in cats and dogs, this is a fun and unexpected caper with some really realistic and dark bits surrounding the kidnapped teller, who after nine days is getting really listless.
I will leave you with a few quotes from the book starting with a sweet exchange between sixteen year old Ingrid followed by her twelve year old brother, Mike…
“you’re a doll to take the blame but I won’t let you, although I admire a man who protects a woman. Not many men do,”-Ingrid
“Horse-radish”-Mike
“I don’t know what this generation’s coming to.”-Mrs.Macdougall
“Same as the last. No damn good.”-Mr. Macdougall
“Cats! They’ve got everybody in Hollywood beaten seven ways to kingdom come for acting. They’re all fiends in baby clothes.”-Greg
“Patti followed him out of the room. One thing he had taught them well was to open doors on command.”-D.C.
“She was an incorrigible romantic, almost a paradox in an age when novels and movies and television shows emphasized the sordid in the name of realism.”-Patti
And my favorite…the reason for a young couple getting a divorce:
“Her husband doesn’t open car doors for her like he did before the were married, or light cigarettes, and carry the groceries. So she thinks he doesn’t love her anymore.”-Ingrid
(Two married school teachers on D.C.’s route…one of which is called Anne Gilbert who “thought D.C. was about the sweetest thing on four paws.”, do you think that was a hat tip to Anne of Green Gables?)
(Notes to self: look up the song “Sabre Dance” by Khachaturian and what kind of mystery illness is this “the prethers”)