4 stars
It’s been a while since I read a graphic novel, so getting back to this wondrous form of story telling was a treat in itself, only made better by Edako Mofumofu’s skill when it comes to portraying angst so viscerally. There Are Things I Can’t Tell You is a love story which explores internalised homophobia, repressed and unrequited love, and coming to terms with one’s sexuality.
The ease with which I could read this book was a sharp juxtaposition against the gravity of the theme that was explored via our two main characters, Kyousuke and Kasumi. They’ve been friends since they were in school, and have always been in love with the other, albeit without knowing that their feelings were actually reciprocated. Cue the mutual pining. ;)
The story starts with them as adults, with flashbacks to their childhood, time in high school, and their time at college/university. It’s clear right off the bat that Kyousuke is an outgoing workaholic, while Kasumi is your textbook introvert, a little shy when it comes to socialising. Kyousuke is hard on himself and pushes himself to the extremes, always a perfectionist. He’s highly protective of Kasumi, and cares for him when the latter isn’t doing well mentally.
They’re both emotionally damaged and have their baggage. Kyousuke has been repressing his homosexuality ever since he was a child, thanks to his father’s homophobic remarks. He’s also forced to be the best at everything he does, because his dad expects only the best for him, and anything lesser is met with by strong beratement. Kasumi, on the other hand, has always been quiet and shy, causing him to be the target of bullies at school. Coming from a broken home, he feels isolated and the day he and Kyousuke start interacting is the day he finally gets someone he can rely on.
I loved how the narration wasn’t completely linear. The flashbacks were spaced appropriately, such that you could see how certain incidents in the past influence these two lovely boys to behave the way they did in the present. Owing to their upbringing and Kyousuke’s internalised homophobia, it’s not as simple as confessing their love to one another and having a HEA. There’s the matter of your brain accepting that this is what your heart wants; that this is the person who makes you happy; and if society judges you for being in love with someone of the same gender, it’s society’s problem and not yours.
Of the two, I enjoyed Kyousuke’s narration a lot more. He’s also the main narrator, which made the book all the more interesting for me. His home life, the pressure from his dad, how he continues to push himself to be the best at work even as an adult — I was hooked. Though the main element of the story was romance, we also get to see how things are at Kyousuke’s work place — his relationship with his mentor and his colleagues, his attitude towards his work, and his experience facing their rival company. Mofumofu apparently based the highly positive and supportive relationship between Kyousuke and his mentor on his real-life relationship with his ex-boss at a previous workplace, and kind of paid homage to it by including it in this graphic novel.
Kasumi — well, while I preferred Kyousuke’s POV, I can’t help but feel bad for Kasumi. He constantly got the shorter end of the stick. Kyousuke broke Kasumi’s heart quite a few times in the course of the story. Kasumi is really gentle and thoughtful, and I felt bad for him multiple times. Kasumi is a lot more dependent on Kyousuke, mentally and emotionally, and that’s why I loved that Kasumi finally decided not to be dependent anymore. It was real character growth, and it made me want to cheer for him.
This book was thought provoking. Kyousuke says (I’m paraphrasing a bit here), “If you’re going to be unhappy, I’d rather it be because of me.” This made me think quite a bit — one of the reasons Kyousuke breaks up with Kasumi at one point is because he’s convinced he’ll make Kasumi unhappy in the long term. Eventually, when he seem that Kasumi is miserable and completely sad without Kyousuke in his life anymore, Kyousuke makes this remark when they get back together. At first glance, it seems like a selfish and callous thing to say, but thanks to the layers of meaning we understand through this story — it’s so much more. It’s also a bit of an oxymoron, which is easier to appreciate if you’ve read the book.
My only qualm with this book is that I would have LOVED it to be longer. :D Mofumofu has done a great job with the graphics and the portrayal of emotions. The angst was on point, and any fanfiction lover like me is bound to enjoy this story.
I would like to thank Tokyopop for providing me with an ARC of the English version via Edelweiss. Further, I had a lovely experience with them — I had issues with the DRC I received, and was half way through the story when the digital rights expired and I couldn’t download the story anymore. The folks at Tokyopop were kind enough to help me out when I privately reached out to them, and helped me out my issues. I genuinely did not expect them to reply to me (I got in touch with them via the Contact Us page on their website), and when they got back to me in 24 hours, it truly made my day. :)
TW: internalised homophobia, bullying, suicidal thoughts, nsfw images in the second half of the book (not really a TW; but needs to be tagged nevertheless)
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Mid-reading note:
I just want to share this positive experience I had today with the publisher, Tokyopop:
I received an ARC via Edelweiss. Downloaded it, but halfway through the book, the DRM period expired, because of which I couldn't open the protected file anymore. I headed back to the Edelweiss site, but the book had been archived. I reached out to Tokypop via their website, and they helped me out within a few hours. They're amazing folks, and I just want to give them a shout-out!