The Likely World

by Melanie Conroy-Goldman

Twenty years of addiction to cloud, a drug which wipes the user’s short-term memory, have left single mom Mellie with her mind in fragments. With the help of a tough-minded sponsor, and motivated by her own medically-challenged daughter, Mellie clings to a fragile sobriety. Then, on the evening of her twenty-ninth day sober, a stranger pulls into her driveway and her heart surges. However, when Mellie’s pursuit of this man and the past they may share threatens her sponsor, Mellie will have to put her tiny family and her recovery at risk in hopes of saving the woman who saved her first.

Genres: Fiction

368 pages, Paperback

Published August 4, 2020

About the author

Melanie Conroy-Goldman is the author of The Likely World, a novel to be published by Red Hen Press in 2020. A Professor of Creative Writing at Hobart and William Smith Colleges, she was a founding director of the Trias Residency for Writers. Her fiction has been published in Southern Review, StoryQuarterly, in anthologies from Morrow and St. Martin’s and online at venues such as McSweeneys.net. She also volunteers at a maximum security men’s prison with the Cornell Prison Education Program. Her work is represented by Bill Clegg at the Clegg Agency. She lives in Ithaca, New York with her husband, daughter and step-daughters.

Reviews

[Suzanne Balaban · Rating 5 out of 5]

Should the addict mother of a damaged baby relinquish her child? Melanie Conroy-Goldman’s debut novel, The Likely World (Red Hen Press; August 4) attempts to answer that question, and some others, in a bizarro, post-modern coming of age story whose central actor is a fictional drug that generates alternate realities and amnesia. One of the most profound literary antagonists ever created, Cloud detours, manhandles and almost wipes clean Mellie Itzkowitz-Kearns’ search for salvation in dystopian America.

Set in 1980’s Boston, Conroy-Goldman’s tale begins when Mellie reunites with an eclectic band of sexually liberated, substance abusing teens she knows from Jewish summer camp. Unreliably parented, lonely and aware of the power of other girls, Mellie opts to exchange uncertain ambition for Cloud’s numbing alternative reality. Their group includes Paul, the exquisite half-Chinese Marjorie Morningstar who gets his break in Siberia, runs afoul of the director in New York but will do anything for celebrity. By 2008 they’re a struggling Cloud-addled couple living in LA, all but indentured to Lew, the fatherly, failed Russian smut distributor turned would-be producer of viral, AI-generated, celebrity deep fakes. Things go from pathetic to perverse when Lew bets the farm on Mellie’s coding and Paul’s star turn.

For anyone locked down and searching for a way out, Conroy-Goldman’s book is a survival manual. Spawned by hippies, the unsupervised, unnamed generation of weaned-on wheatgrass whatevers was so narcotized by the ‘90’s, so twisted for lack of care and inured to the dismembered society into which they emerged, they finally called them “X” and looked away. Until Mellie detonated and they couldn’t.

Chang-Rae Lee's endorsement? “I don't know if you'll ever read a literary novel like The Likely World this or any other year. It's groovy, badass smart and totally trippy, but also full of heartache and longing and the woundings of love. This novel absolutely sparkles with brightness and life."

[Alexis · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read "The Likely World" this summer while camping out at an airbnb during COVID. My husband and I saw no one for days. I got up early so I could make coffee and just sink into this complicated and intellectual novel. I felt like I was both living and reading about a parallel reality.

The book is told in a braided narrative between the past and present of the main character, Mellie's life. Mellie is a mother who is recalling a life being spent addicted to cloud, a drug that users let melt on their tongue that whisks them away to forgetfulness. Mellie has a young child, Juni, who babbles when she speaks, a common side effect of babies born to mothers who used cloud. The novel addresses motherhood, which allows for suspense around Juni. We hope both she and Mellie are okay. A man comes to their house in a SUV. He frightens us. We fear that Mellie will be sucked into something bad and that Juni will be taken away from her or left on her own.

"The Likely World" is a dense, postmodern novel full of observations about contemporary life. It introduces a universe where "cloud" exists: a drug that allows the user to forget everything bad and to make their minds glossy and clear (it felt similiar to virtual reality and social media for me). However, the users lose parts of themselves in the process. They literally show up to meetings missing limbs, parts of their memory. The entire novel reads like a hunt for something, yet we don't know what it is. Similar to being in the mind of someone who has Alzheimer's. I kept asking: Who is the father of Juni? Who is this strange man in the SUV? What is Lew's code doing to people's computers? There is a David Foster Wallace like element to the book. Conroy-Goldman creates a strange and off kilter like universe that is strange, yet believable enough for us to invest in; we want to solve this mystery. We want to figure out the connection between root places and the code and Mellie's mind.

The novel takes on a structure of life tube or a donut: there is a hole in the very center that we are meant to piece together. Conroy-Goldman shows us scenes in non-chronological order that seem to follow some kind of other logic, a cloud kind of logic, so that we get the same sensation of disorientation as the drugs.

After reading the book, I felt happy for real life. I put down my cell phone. I went outside. I made a fire. I wanted only real things, in our messed up, yet actual world.

[Joshua Goldman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Don't do that Mellie -- an addict struggling to recover her life and her memories, not a light read

How is your memory? Forgetting small things, worried about forgetting more? I’d like you to meet Mellie, she’s forgotten whole swaths of her life and isn’t always sure who she is. It’s not age loss or dementia, but the 30’s something protagonist of Melanie Conroy-Goldman’s The Likely World has been addicted to a (thankfully) fictional drug Cloud for 20 years.

Why am I thankful cloud is fictional? Because it would tempt me “but you come to cloud to begin again … in cloud, you can rewind to the moment just before it went bad; cloud promises that you can start anew.” Oh boy, there are so many little screw-ups I’d like to redo and at least a few major mess-ups.

I loved the novel and couldn’t put it down except when I had to put it down because Mellie after being sober for almost a month is risking her recovery and her toddler’s well-being when she’s drawn back to Cloud. I really wanted to know what happened in Mellie’s life, but she can’t help me. Years of cloud use hasn’t just erased short-term memory, but much of her life is gone or inaccessible. But flashbacks to her earlier life helped me piece things together, or is she recovering these memories?

The novel is rewarding, but it’s not a light read. You’re trying to put things together between her past and her present, but Mellie is trying to put things together too and may not be the most reliable narrator. The drug is fictional but the writing and the people are gritty and real. One thing comes through clearly, how the open and supportive 12-step group makes it conceivable that Mellie can pull through this.

I don’t know what genre this fits in – the writing style is lit-fict, it’s got elements of sci-fi/fantasy, coming-of-age (or not), or is it a mystery? I don’t know/care, but I want another novel from this writer. I'm reading this one a second time because wanting to find out what happened made me read it fast and I'm sure I missed things.

[Ruth · Rating 5 out of 5]

A tour de force! So imaginative and complex. Well done!

[Ted Gentle · Rating 2 out of 5]

Tough book. Brace yourself for my actual review of this book. The book has a catchy premise and pretty much demands that you read it, which is a huge annoyance in and of itself. The book itself and its contents (as well as much of the author's typical behavior) is a perfect example of legally sanctioned yet morally indefensible harassment, which hopefully the law will change one day. After reading this book, you immediately make the pretty much ironclad decision not to buy an additional book from this writer. The whole thing amounts to being a regrettable chore that sadly (and unintentionally) recalls some of the low points of the private college experience. Having said that, my reaction to the book is negative, but complicated. Those who know the author will probably benefit in some ways from having read it. The character reflects the writer in many ways, and you will learn things about her and feel closer to her if you read it. There is a classic moment where Mellie (who is Amelia, and who of course may be Melanie) simply looks down at a desk and stares at things in an attempt to figure something out. That is a classic Melanie Conroy-Goldman moment to a tee, and this and other offbeat moments should flood those of you who are lucky enough to know her in person (like myself) with all sorts of positive memories. Mellie's personal style, attention to detail, lifestyle, and use of language function in this way as well. In many ways this is more of a love letter or ode to Melanie (is there a Mellie?) than a novel, but it does successful function for some of us I think in that way. Yes, the book does have problems. The characters are oversexed while being too subservient to authority figures, adversaries, and to each other. There are so many weird and offputting sex scenes that you could easily classify the book as pornography. Over time, it becomes hard to relate to Mellie, and you begin to suspect that her mute and expressionless boyfriends have some sort of mental defect. Paul, in particular, and who in theory is a character from one of my stories, needs to be completely rewritten so that he has some agency and more to say. The characters are also too successful to relate to. They are described as well-dressed, good looking, live in the Massachusetts area, and to a shocking extent make good grades. Mellie does eventually struggle with her grades, but you start to suspect that the characters have no real problems. Cloud is revealed to be more of a designer drug than a hard drug, but it seems suspicious that these characters would perform as well as they do on this drug without any major problems. Surely there would be side effects and bad days, but implausibly this never occurs, making the book seem unconvincing. The Likely World even begins to resemble a young adult book at times, and the realism suggested in some scenes is never convincingly rendered throughout the rest of the book. Again, we need to convincingly feel Mellie's addiction, rather than just use it as a plot device. The second major plot point is Mellie's illegitimate baby, which many readers will burn their eyes out as they surf the internet trying to figure this out. Ultimately, the baby is a feminist plot device, too much of a liberated woman to have a male father of any kind. Preferably, the writer should have provided a direct explanation for the baby or dropped this plotline altogether. The middle of the book, finally, and as the writer has hinted at in public, also has problems. Largely, the writing in the book is refreshingly clear and even accurately depicts many complex locations, as many books from academia do. However, at exactly the midway point, the language breaks down completely and becomes wholly unintelligible. It is not clear what is occurring or what the characters are saying, and although the book does recover, this mistake is enough to take the reader out of the action. Similar problems with grammar and language, to a lesser extent, occur throughout the book, particularly when there is dialogue, at which point it can become almost impossible to understand who is saying what. Other vulgar, off-putting moments seem like jokes and should have been left out. These moments are unprofessional, and the book at the time that I read it was in need of an editor. In fairness, however, and overall, I did enjoy The Likely World more than I thought. It did make me feel closer to Dr. Melanie Conroy-Goldman, who I absolutely completely adore and love. If you know her personally, check this out along with some books of criticism. You will definitely feel closer to her, which I think is largely the point. You may even resent the Mary Gaitskill quote, since you want to be the one who loves her. I like and love the complex and thought provoking references to my writing in the book, such as the character Paul, the dark setting and tone, arguably the Massachusetts setting, the pornography trade, and the Slavoj Zizek quote about poverty. These things do make me feel closer to Melanie. Incidentally, there are also some references to Marshall Boswell in the book, which I find interesting but also challenging. The Likely World is a reference to his lecture on The Real World, and his classic quote from lecture on the value of being different is directly stated by Mellie toward the end as well. At times, it seems that Boswell or a character like Boswell might be the baby's father, although I am glad this possibility is not explicitly stated and ultimately sidestepped altogether. In sum, a very complex reading experience and a very complex book. It does ultimately function as more of a love letter or ode to Melanie than an actual book, but you will be poorer if you do not take this trip. It could be that this is only for a select audience, but for those of you who know who you are, you do not want to miss the ordeal. Click here for my book:

[Ted Gentle · Rating 2 out of 5]

Tough book. Brace yourself for my actual review of this book. The book has a catchy premise and pretty much demands that you read it, which is a huge annoyance in and of itself. The book itself and its contents (as well as much of the author's typical behavior) is a perfect example of legally sanctioned yet morally indefensible harassment, which hopefully the law will change one day. After reading this book, you immediately make the pretty much ironclad decision not to buy an additional book from this writer. The whole thing amounts to being a regrettable chore that sadly (and unintentionally) recalls some of the low points of the private college experience. Having said that, my reaction to the book is negative, but complicated. Those who know the author will probably benefit in some ways from having read it. The character reflects the writer in many ways, and you will learn things about her and feel closer to her if you read it. There is a classic moment where Mellie (who is Amelia, and who of course may be Melanie) simply looks down at a desk and stares at things in an attempt to figure something out. That is a classic Melanie Conroy-Goldman moment to a tee, and this and other offbeat moments should flood those of you who are lucky enough to know her in person (like myself) with all sorts of positive memories. Mellie's personal style, attention to detail, lifestyle, and use of language function in this way as well. In many ways this is more of a love letter or ode to Melanie (is there a Mellie?) than a novel, but it does successful function for some of us I think in that way. Yes, the book does have problems. The characters are oversexed while being too subservient to authority figures, adversaries, and to each other. There are so many weird and offputting sex scenes that you could easily classify the book as pornography. Over time, it becomes hard to relate to Mellie, and you begin to suspect that her mute and expressionless boyfriends have some sort of mental defect. Paul, in particular, and who in theory is a character from one of my stories, needs to be completely rewritten so that he has some agency and more to say. The characters are also too successful to relate to. They are described as well-dressed, good looking, live in the Massachusetts area, and to a shocking extent make good grades. Mellie does eventually struggle with her grades, but you start to suspect that the characters have no real problems. Cloud is revealed to be more of a designer drug than a hard drug, but it seems suspicious that these characters would perform as well as they do on this drug without any major problems. Surely there would be side effects and bad days, but implausibly this never occurs, making the book seem unconvincing. The Likely World even begins to resemble a young adult book at times, and the realism suggested in some scenes is never convincingly rendered throughout the rest of the book. Again, we need to convincingly feel Mellie's addiction, rather than just use it as a plot device. The second major plot point is Mellie's illegitimate baby, which many readers will burn their eyes out as they surf the internet trying to figure this out. Ultimately, the baby is a feminist plot device, too much of a liberated woman to have a male father of any kind. Preferably, the writer should have provided a direct explanation for the baby or dropped this plotline altogether. The middle of the book, finally, and as the writer has hinted at in public, also has problems. Largely, the writing in the book is refreshingly clear and even accurately depicts many complex locations, as many books from academia do. However, at exactly the midway point, the language breaks down completely and becomes wholly unintelligible. It is not clear what is occurring or what the characters are saying, and although the book does recover, this mistake is enough to take the reader out of the action. Similar problems with grammar and language, to a lesser extent, occur throughout the book, particularly when there is dialogue, at which point it can become almost impossible to understand who is saying what. Other vulgar, off-putting moments seem like jokes and should have been left out. These moments are unprofessional, and the book at the time that I read it was in need of an editor. In fairness, however, and overall, I did enjoy The Likely World more than I thought. It did make me feel closer to Dr. Melanie Conroy-Goldman, who I absolutely completely adore and love. If you know her personally, check this out along with some books of criticism. You will definitely feel closer to her, which I think is largely the point. You may even resent the Mary Gaitskill quote, since you want to be the one who loves her. I like and love the complex and thought provoking references to my writing in the book, such as the character Paul, the dark setting and tone, arguably the Massachusetts setting, the pornography trade, and the Slavoj Zizek quote about poverty. These things do make me feel closer to Melanie. Incidentally, there are also some references to Marshall Boswell in the book, which I find interesting but also challenging. The Likely World is a reference to his lecture on The Real World, and his classic quote from lecture on the value of being different is directly stated by Mellie toward the end as well. At times, it seems that Boswell or a character like Boswell might be the baby's father, although I am glad this possibility is not explicitly stated and ultimately sidestepped altogether. In sum, a very complex reading experience and a very complex book. It does ultimately function as more of a love letter or ode to Melanie than an actual book, but you will be poorer if you do not take this trip. It could be that this is only for a select audience, but for those of you who know who you are, you do not want to miss the ordeal. Click here for my book:

[Ann Lewinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve never had much patience with drug-addicted protagonists, but if, as a teenager, I’d been offered a spoonful of a lemony something that would have erased the memory of my latest adolescent humiliation, I wouldn’t have said no. So I was captivated by Mellie, a single mother piecing her life back together, and happily followed her as she pinged back and forth through 20 years of lapsed memories involving a conceptual artist, an internet pornographer, a Jewish summer camp, an experimental theater company, and a New Age clinic which treats all matter of anxieties with a headset filled with warm stones. And now that the mystery has been unraveled, I can’t wait to go back and pick up all those breadcrumbs I missed the first time.

[Michelle Hogmire · Rating 4 out of 5]

First Novel Prize Review #9 (thanks to The Center for Fiction and Red Hen Press for an advance copy in exchange for an honest review/expected pub date Aug 4, 2020):

Melanie Conroy-Goldman’s The Likely World is a Memento-esque puzzle of a novel, about a single mom named Mellie who’s addicted to a drug called cloud. Cloud is a strange ingestible lemony/waxy substance that causes short-term memory loss. Unfortunately, for long-term addicts, life becomes a confusing, jumbled mess of forgotten names and faces—and time is a muddle of half-remembered memories, often arriving out of order.

Mellie has almost made it to thirty days sober, thanks to the efforts of her serious sponsor Emily, when a weird black SUV shows up. The car is somehow familiar and Mellie senses that she knows the driver. The sighting almost pushes her back to using cloud, but instead she follows a strange trail of clues, in order to recover the past that she’s forgotten. For the sake of her young daughter, Juni, she wants to stay sober and figure out the truth; Juni was born with disabilities, as a result of Mellie’s cloud consumption during pregnancy, which complicates their relationship.

The book flips back and forth between different places and timelines: from the 80s, 90s, and 2000s, and from Massachusetts to New York to California. Melanie Conroy-Goldman charts her main character’s journey into hazy and bizarre drug-fueled circumstances—stints at different iterations of rehab, theater productions, porn sets. And there’s also this creepy viral internet video with a mounting view count that won’t seem to go away.

This book feels a little long at times, but overall, it’s a striking portrait of the hardships of addiction and the difficulty of maintaining relationships—or a coherent identity—when time and thought and memory are so disrupted.

[Cindy Cunningham · Rating 3 out of 5]

It took me a bit to get used to the feel of the book--and that makes total sense because the book deals with a drug addict who has spent her life addicted to cloud, a drug that sits on a spoon and sends you into forgetfulness (and actually seems almost to eat your memory.) The book moves in a braided narrative of the protagonist (antihero?), Mellie's life. Mellie has a toddler who is clearly not okay, yet the author kind of makes us want the main character to be able to keep her child. We root for the main character even though there are no real memories that make sense and reality is "clouded" and confused.

I honestly could not tell if I was enjoying this book. It was a trippy feel--clearly postmodern--kind of Brave New World from a post-soma-addict except cloud causes physical and mental damage unlike soma.

For most of the book I wanted to decipher the connections and figure out the various mysteries, but, honestly, sometimes I just felt drug addict tired of trying. You're stuck in the mind of the addict, in the rabbit hole, in the house of mirrors with no way out. It's exhausting,

I can see how someone could wallow in this book and love it, but I ended up feeling drained.

[BRIDGET E]

Melanie Conroy-Goldman mixes mystery, crime, parenting, and literary fiction to create a compelling read. She is at her most powerful in writing about the deep feelings which motivate her protagonist, Mellie, to both make and unmake her life. Mellie's addiction to a drug which makes her forget is in complete conflict with her desire to love and parent her child, and this conflict leads to a deep exploration of a woman's life. Most importantly, Conroy-Goldman writes frankly about desire, women's desire, and how it starts early, burns hot. and can both create and destroy. She is a new and exciting voice.

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’M SO CONFUSED. But maybe that’s the intention of the book? This book started as a strong 5 star for me. The writing is lyrical and sultry, almost hypnotic. But as I continued to read, I expected clarity and got none. I’m as confused by the plot as I am but the ultimate result for the main character. The premise of this book is really compelling, and frankly the author is extremely talented. I can’t help but give credit to the all-encompassing feeling of wistfulness, curiosity, and confusion, undoubtedly a purposeful tactic to bring us into the eyes of the main character. But sadly I ended this book frustrated and let down.

[Katharina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I actually could not put this book down. I found Mellie to be a very compelling character. Things that draw me to her: just her response to cloud in general, but also her conviction that no one knows she is an addict, even though people definitely know. I really appreciated the writing style as well. After my first pregnancy and early motherhood, my memory declined significantly, and I don’t feel like it has ever fully recovered. Mellie’s experience with cloud felt so relatable (and exaggerated). I have more to say but I need some time to chew on it.

[Eileen Daly-Boas · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a challenging book, and it’s possible that I just didn’t have the energy for something so difficult and hard to stick with. I’m confident that this is pretty accurate for how drug addiction affects people, and mothers aren’t immune to it. The book has really strong writing, but it was punishing in a way that made it extremely hard to keep reading. The disjointedness, which fit very well with the topic, kept me from finding any comfort in reading. Again, after more than a year of pandemic, it might just be that I didn’t have enough gas in the tank for a work like this one.

[Vicki Boynton · Rating 5 out of 5]

amazing portrait of addiction

In the Likely World we see the entanglement of our main character, a woman addicted to a drug and a self destructive lifestyle and a lover. The narrative shifts between her early adulthood and her trying to mother her daughter. Harrowing scenes of her trying to remember what has happened and who she is while escaping some dangerous people—this is the way the story goes. The tension and psychological realism propel the story. The climax is thrilling.

[Tatiana Krokar · Rating 5 out of 5]

The protagonist is beautifully drawn and psychologically complex-- if you like unreliable narrators that are grappling with womens issues and drug addiction, this is definitely for you. The book delves into the complexity and heartbreak of addiction and recovery. Will be of particular interest for anyone who has struggled with addictions.

[Brien · Rating 5 out of 5]

This one took me a couple of months, because it isn’t a light and fast read. But it’s a good one – one I am glad I took the time to read, and digest, and think about. It went places I definitely did not expect it to go, from issues about drug abuse and addiction, to motherhood, and love to bad relationships all the way to sex tapes.

[Jennifer Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

A debut author with a unique and powerful voice takes you on a journey to follow a mother who's addicted to a fictional memory-scrambling drug called cloud as she tries to piece her memories and her life back together. At once cerebral, mysterious, and deeply emotional, I couldn't put this book down.

[Masha Kisel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book drew me in from the first page. I found myself re-reading certain passages over and over again. I loved it so much! Hypnotic, ecstatic, devastating, fascinating. I want to read it again still. Like a great song that bewitches you…

[Deanna · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF- couldn't catch on, made it to page 200 and couldn't convince myself to continue. There were moments in the book where I was completely lost. Good premise, just not for me.

[Satsuma · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5

[Jennifer Pullen · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book that will open your brain and replace whatever used to be there with fevered images fraught significance. Gorgeous prose and a control of point of view that can pivot on a dime.

[Stacy Melendez · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is in a class by itself. It is a book that I’ve wanted to reread but it’s not an easy book. However it is an amazing book. I would love a book from another one of the characters POV

[Cheri Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I was reading this book, I had a rare experience similar to the one I had reading The Turn of the Screw at age 17 (I was terrified and had no idea why) and The Sound and the Fury at age ? Probably early twenties? (I had no idea what was going on but I didn’t care). In the present-day sections of The Likely World, the reader’s view of past and present events is sometimes obscured because the title character Mellie’s view is sometimes obscured, from drug-induced memory lapses. As with The Sound and the Fury, I didn’t always know who was who and what was what and I couldn’t have cared less; I just knew I wanted to keep holding on and let the book take me over. That kind of reading experience always feels magical to me. So often, what makes me feel as if “I can’t put this book down” isn’t due to “I have to find out what happens,” but to the book’s sensibility, its voice, my certainty that this writer will always have something interesting to say and will keep surprising me to the end. That was the case with The Likely World. And, just to be clear, there is plenty of tasty plot-stuff here, too (teenagers getting into trouble, smutty movie sets, road trips out to the desert, plenty of weirdos, and the like), and the sections that go back in time before Melle’s mind was addled are crystal-clear (that’s part of the fun of the book—the reader gets to see the details that Mellie’s forgotten and do some detective work to figure out how they fit into the present-day narrative). In any case, I loved the trip this book took me on and I love this book.

[M. Patrick · Rating 5 out of 5]

A deep dive into the world and life of an unlikely heroine. The Likely World takes the reader on a journey back and forth between the 80s in gritty Boston, a porn set in the glitzy hills of California and the lofts of 90s NYC. The short detour to a train in Soviet Russia is an unlikely jump, but fits and is worth the pages.

The fictional drug that Conroy-Goldman creates is addictive in its realism. I found myself wanting to taste cloud the more and more I read. Her dialog is sparkly and sharp and the plot keeps you turning the pages.

A great summer read!

[Brett Barnes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Intelligent, riveting, and surprising.

The story though not linear is hard to put down once you get the flow. The character development allows you to bond and relate to characters then turns a corner and they are suddenly off putting. It's a rollercoaster of emotions. Just when you think you have it figured out Melanie Conroy-Goldman changes the game.