Unhinged: A true story of child abuse, resiliency and hope.

by Carolyn St-Denis

Carolyn St-Denis has a decision to make; does she succumb to the effects of abuse and kill herself, or does she fight for her education and finish high school? Set in Ontario, Canada, this unflinching memoir tells the story of an only child whose sexual abuse begins when she is a toddler. Exposed to an unprotective mother and a tormenting stepfather, Carolyn is plagued with nightmares and finds solace in books, but especially in food. The bigger her body becomes, the safer she feels, until Carolyn is molested by her maternal uncle when she is twelve. Carolyn’s world completely falls apart when her mother is diagnosed with a terminal illness and her stepfather becomes the primary caregiver. She leaves home at fifteen and becomes immersed in a world of homeless shelters, psychiatric wards, and a group home. More than just a voyeuristic view into someone’s traumatic childhood, Carolyn highlights how instrumental her youth-worker and group-home coordinator were as they taught her about unconditional love and encouraged her to rise above. Twenty-five years after the abuse, we witness Carolyn grow into herself as she writes letters to the people who’ve hurt her. Gritty and impactful, Unhinged is a must-read for survivors and professionals alike. Carolyn has a message for other There is hope. Speak your truth. Transform your pain. Reclaim joy. ABOUT THE AUTHOR Carolyn St-Denis lives in Montréal, Canada. She has been a crisis worker for over sixteen years. When she is not playing sidewalk chicken with cyclists, Carolyn enjoys improv, chilling with her cat, and spending time with a few selected humans.

189 pages, Kindle Edition

Published December 1, 2019

Reviews

[R.J.G. McManus · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a mother (and, let's be real, as a normal human being with a conscience), every fiber of my being was filled with such rage at the horrors Carolyn endured at the hands of her tormentors. At times, I literally wept, felt physically sick, and nearly screamed as I poured over these pages. From the onset in the prologue, all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around this little girl, comfort her, and whisk her away somewhere safe, where she could never be hurt again.

This emotional, visceral reaction is, I believe, the mark of a story well told. Carolyn is raw, vivid, and real in the telling of her true story of childhood abuse. Make no mistake, this is NOT a peaceful read, and not for those who shy away from such things easily, or even for those who might still have PTSD from their own experiences. My very heart and soul still aches as I think back on it. However, those who do choose to press forward will be rewarded with Carolyn's honesty, bravery, vivacity, and at the end, a renewed sense of hope.

I don't pretend to know anything about being abused or the psychological trauma it can do to a person, but I can imagine that this book is a must-read for those trying to help children in crisis, and even for survivors to help them heal and know they are not alone.

This is one that will stick with me for a long time. I commend the author for her honesty and courage, and celebrate how she chooses to overcome and thrive.

[Byron Fortin · Rating 5 out of 5]

As Powerful as it is Moving

This is a very sensitive subject, and the author handles it with poignancy and grace. I won't pretend to know what it's like and can't even begin to imagine having to be put through such terrible ordeals as these, but the emotion felt through its retelling is so gripping as to make you want to cry out loud at times.
From childhood to teenage years, the first hand accounts described here list the torment endured at the hands of her abusers, before being thrown out and left to fend for herself. Where do you go when you have no one left to turn to? You have to grow up fast and learn to watch your back.
It's enough to put a person into freefall, feeling like all hope is gone. This harm she was made to suffer left its mark long after the experiences. Still, it doesn't have to shape you or make you who you are, as this memoire aims to show -- the past does not dictate the present, nor future. Resiliency, empathy, strength of character, these are the traits that matter. They carry forth, allowing one to surpass their own inner turmoils and stand up against adversity.

I recommend this book to anyone who's looking for an honest, hard-hitting true story, that isn't afraid to tackle personal and often difficult issues. Perhaps those who can relate and are in the middle of something may find a level of solace between these pages alongside inspiration. It helps to know you're not alone.

[William Collins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unhinged by Carolyn St-Denis is a harrowing and true account of the author’s life and all she has been through.

I commend Carolyn for having the courage to publish her memoirs, leaving nothing back. It’s a very difficult read, due to the subject matters, but I believe many, especially those who’ve been through similar, may find it therapeutic to read.

A warning though that Carolyn pulls no punches when describing just how monstrous some humans can be. Disgustingly, such monsters do exist and reading the accounts here could be triggering. I don’t recommend reading this if you think you might not be in the right frame of mind to do so.

I am beyond glad that Carolyn didn’t let her abuse destroy her and is now working to help others that have gone through the same. So, although the memoir is a hard read, it has a happier ending.

[Dave Saari · Rating 5 out of 5]

A terrific book fueled by raw emotion
I found it hard to read Carolyn St. Denis’s “Unhinged: A True Story of Child Abuse, Resiliency and More” because of the unrelenting sadness it reveals about the world we live in. It’s hard to face the reality that there are people who abuse children, and it’s heartbreaking to learn about the devastating impact of their behavior on their victims. At the same time, I could not put the book down, as Carolyn told her story using the words of a young girl growing into her teenage years – sometimes bitter, sometimes confused, sometimes conflicted, sometimes contrite, but always completely and brutally honest about what she was feeling. The raw emotion of the writing made a profound impact on me. I’ve read other books about abused children, but they were generally written with a clinical tone. Ms. St. Denis, on the other hand, gradually reveals the details of the abuse she suffered as she narrates subsequent events and experiences in her life: with her mother, her father and stepfather, schoolmates, foster families, counselors, doctors and nurses, and many others. And, at the end, when she emerged from her difficult early life as a counselor helping others in crisis situations, I breathed a huge sigh of relief and shook my head in amazement at her courage and resilience.

There are some typos that could be fixed with some more careful editing, but the power of the story makes such things irrelevant. This is an incredibly important book, and I recommend it highly.

[Miriam Yvette · Rating 5 out of 5]

Innocence can be taken advantage of not just from strangers but from those living inside your home.

Unhinged takes you through Carolyn’s childhood, who’s trust is defiled by the very people that should protect her. Her manipulative mother and her toxic relationships with the men around her leaves her vulnerable to sexual abuse.

This is not a story made of fiction. It’s real. I found myself rooting for Carolyn as she starts to claim her stolen identity and worth. I commend the author for her strength to write what few talk about in public. The memoir is written with detail that will tug at your heart. Unhinged is also a window that shows the vulnerability of minors, and why they put the blame on themselves.

As described in the book, be in a good place before reading. Unhinged will show you the perseverance of Carolyn, and her strength to move forward.

[Guy Estes · Rating 5 out of 5]

I approached this book with no small degree of trepidation. I have never been a victim of abuse myself, but the very idea of someone abusing children is just so enraging, and here you get a front-row seat, and Ms. St.-Denise pulls no punches. Nor should she. The way she so perfectly put the reader into the victim's head was vital in getting someone whose never been a victim to understand just what it's like and how devastating it is. So many times as I read it I wished I could go back to a particular moment and save her from this. I'm glad she grew up to help other victims. That's the healthiest possible outcome from her situation. There's no doubt in my mind if I'd experienced such a childhood it would've turned me into a complete psychopath. While I wish she didn't have to experience such a thing, I'm glad she was strong enough to survive and grow into a stronger person.

[Mary Markstrom · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book touched me very deeply. As a retired social worker I am familiar with the effects of child abuse but this author relates her story of PTS, eating disorders, low self esteem and self harming in such a powerful way that I couldn't put it down. The saddest part of the story is not so much the abuse at the hands of Daddy Michael and Uncle Norm but that her mother not only failed to protect her child but also enabled the abuse. It is hard not to be angry with the mother until you realise that she also was a victim of child abuse and the pattern was repeating itself which is sadly often the case. As the writer says, her mother probably suffered from undiagnosed borderline personality disorder which didn't allow her to recognise her child's suffering and protect her. This author is a survivor. Many others who are subjects of child abuse do not come through it with such courage as she did. I was happy at the end of the book that the author wrote letters to her abusers and also to her deceased mother. Although the letters would never be read by the recipients it was an essential part of the recovery process for the writer. I don't often give 5 stars but this book is so touchingly written without a trace of self pity that I make an exception.

[Harry Old · Rating 5 out of 5]

Raw, honest and very hard-hitting

Wow. This book was very hard-hitting. Carolyn’s story is heartbreaking, and so well written. I read it all in one sitting, completely unable to put it down. Carolyn’s writing really took me into the events, feeling as if I were there and knew the ‘characters’ rather than looking back at things from the past. When she mentions that she spent a lot of time reading, I thought to myself, you can tell.

I really can’t express enough how powerful this book is and how glad I am that Carolyn has written and published her experiences, as an inspiration to those looking for a “kindred spirit”, an important eye-opener for others, and a way of self-expression. I hope this has helped you, and thank you so much for sharing your story in such a raw, honest way.

I would certainly recommend, but do be prepared for some very hard subjects.

[Phillip Murrell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Perspective

Whew. That was rough. I felt so many emotions, which were amplified because this abuse was a true story. My heart felt for Carolyn. I rooted for her to get her happily ever after. The words were well written and had me too mesmerized to even consider not reading it all in one sitting. How can humans be so awful? Especially to their own family. It really put my setbacks in life into perspective.

This subject matter would normally turn me off, but the true story kept me mired in ickiness. I especially appreciated the letters at the end. I hope they were cathartic. I recommend this book to any who feel like giving up. If she can power through, you can too.

[Shanet OB · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is very triggering. It is a book in which if you have not done the healing process in your own life. You should not read this book. Even if you have done the self work. Triggers do happen regardless. Often times it punches you in the gut out of nowhere. Healing is a lifetime process. This book disturbed because I know it was a generational curse upon the authors family. When reaching the epilogue and the letters to those who have hurt her. It made sense that her mother hurt her the worse. We look at our parents as protectors. When they do not protect us and in exchange we are the ones protecting them. It changes the whole family dynamic.

Many of us are from broken homes because our parents came from broken homes. Instead of our parents finding help and the tools they need. Their demons begin to effect their children. To parent a parent as a child is something a child should never have to do. Unfortunately it happens a lot. When I read this book I was reading through the inner child of the author. The author wrote in her inner child voice. From the way the book was written to the dialogue. I know this book was therapeutic for the author is many ways. I know it had to be a lot to open up wounds that either were close or closing.

The best thing you can do like the author said towards the end is finally be open and be vulnerable about what has happened to you. For your testimony can save someone’s else life. This book I read a lot of narcissism going on with the adults who were supposed to protect her in her life. A lot of blaming the child instead of the adult owning up to their shit.

Then I was even more sadden to read the author’s ending because through all the pain you just want a break. To see in a way she did get a break but life kept throwing lemons at her to make lemonade. I was just thinking to myself this is overwhelming for me to read. Carolyn is not the first nor last to experience this. So many children are being abused and torture and treated like meat. Our babies born innocent to this world are being abused my adults who were abuse. It is just a nasty vicious repetitive cycle that needs to end.

To those out there break those generational curses. It is up to you. So your future kids and their kids and so on can live healthy lives. Even if the world tries to tear them down. They have a safe haven. A home to go to where they are loved for who they are and most of all protected and treated how a child is supposed to be treated.

Thank you for your vulnerability and sharing your testimony because it is inspiring.

[Ed Morawski · Rating 5 out of 5]

Much like the classic 'Silent Spring' by Rachel Carson raised the awareness of the effects of pesticides, this heart wrenching and depressing saga could serve to do the same for child abuse. Given the subject matter it's difficult to judge the writing but I consider it so strong as a call to arms I cann't rate it less than five stars in the hope more people will read it. The story is the story and so powerful it withstands any criticism.

But if this true story proves one thing it is that humans should be required to get a license before having children.

I’m not going to delve into the details because others already have. What interests me more is how to fix this horrendous problem we have as a society when it comes to child abuse and bullying.
We all know about it and no one really does anything – especially the very people who are supposed to watch over our children. Here in California we’ve had some gruesome cases where Child Protective Services were alerted to severe child abuse and none of them did anything. A young boy died a horrible death as a result. They were brought up on charges but those were dismissed. Imagine if social workers were actually held accountable and went to jail – do you think they would wake up and do their jobs?

If one teacher or cop in this story would have gone the extra mile, so much pain would have been averted.

How can we as a society go on mistreating and abusing our most precious commodity, our children? It’s time to start waking up and acting.

I only wish our government was half as interested in actually protecting children (usually from their parents) as they are in making laws calling for gender neutral bathrooms and sports.

[Tia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Unhinged: A true story of abuse, resiliency and hope

I received this book for an honest review. I will say I have never been a victim of any type of abuse. This book had me in tears, how could someone abuse a child and by the hands of not a stranger but by people she knew and trusted. This book was not an easy to read memoir. You think those that around you, in your home, are the ones that are there to protect you from sick people like this. This memoir takes you to a place you yourself wish you could help her escape from. I applaud the author for sharing her story. The many things she endured from a little girl to an adult, wanting to be loved. From mental abuse to sexual abuse she is a survivor. I hope that her writing this memoir helped her mentally, emotionally and physically to heal and continues to help her heal. I hope she continues to help others and to be a mentor to those that may suffer from any type of abuse.

[Anne Holster · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s been a very long time since I’ve read a novel as moving as "Unhinged: A true story of child abuse, resiliency and hope", a novel powerful enough that it actually moved me to tears. Carolyn St-Denis’ heartbreaking memoir describes the abuse she suffered as a young child at the hands of those closest to her – those who should have been protecting her. Throughout reading it I kept thinking to myself that it couldn’t possibly get any worse for her but it progressively did. St-Denis takes the reader by the hand and carefully guides them through the dark world of her sorrowful childhood which was filled with constant abuse and neglect. Her story-telling is as flawless as her writing which is so fluid that it actually feels as though you are witnessing the abuse firsthand.

Unhinged is not an easy read – it’s powerful, it’s raw, it’s brave, but most of all it’s REAL. The courage the author displays is undeniable and the fact that she had the bravery to face her past abuse head-on is truly a testament to her inner strength.

Very well done!

[Matt Gianni · Rating 4 out of 5]

UNHINGED: A TRUE STORY OF CHILD ABUSE, RESILIENCY AND HOPE is a powerful memoir by Carolyn St-Denis describing what no child should ever have to endure.
While reading of all the horrible events caused by the unforgivable adults closest to her - adults who should have instead been nurturing and protecting her - I found I had to continually read Carolyn's biography. By doing so, I was able to reassure myself that she is now a well-adjusted adult who has found joy and is passionately enjoying her role as a crisis worker helping others reclaim their lives. Without that, the book might have been too heart-breaking to finish.
The writing is fairly clean and accurate, indicating a good revision process.
After reading of Carolyn's experiences in UNHINGED, adult survivors of child abuse may realize their pain is shared, and that hope exists.

[Trish Butler · Rating 5 out of 5]

A real-life story told in an immersive way to keep your interest

A phenomenal prologue to this book told from the viewpoint of the adult witnessing the child abuse, draws you into a dreadful tale of the physical and mental abuse of a child through to young adulthood.

Though the scenes of abuse are hard to read, this autobiography gives you a real insight into the effects of abuse long after the event of it has taken place.

I have read similar books and commend this telling as if you are walking beside Carolyn as she explains what happened and why she reacted in specific ways to those who tried to help her. It’s almost as if you are her constant friend, rather than recounting a list of events.

I commend the immense bravery and honesty of the author and wish her only good things in the future.

Highly recommended for all adults to read.

[Phillip Vega · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unhinged is a painstakingly raw memoir full of a survivor of abuse, horror, and the scars left behind. Have tissues at hand while reading this one. Throughout, we witness Carolyn’s growth from victim to victor. The letters she writes to the people who’ve hurt her are examples of overcoming. For those with similar backgrounds, this book may provide solace. In the end, love wins. – 5 out of 5 stars.

[Ally Fox · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honest and brutal.

Carolyn had the worst upbringing and survived. I love the way she writes and her account is very readable. No spoilers here but I particularly liked the end of the book for its honesty.

[Balroop Singh · Rating 5 out of 5]

‘Unhinged’ is a poignant memoir of Carolyn, a candid account of child abuse by her own parents who were worse than monsters. My blood boils when I try to understand the ordeal that a child was made to live through and even her insensitive English teacher failed to look into her eyes to understand her trauma.

Carolyn doesn’t dwell on the horrifying moments; her purpose is not to shock you yet you would yearn to gather her into your arms to provide succor. She just states the facts and moves on. Her indignation is hidden in her expressions. I wish I had stronger words to agree with the curse words she has for her mother. Despite the neglect and indifference, she craves for her love and care. When a mother – your first emotional anchor fails you, your world falls apart.

I salute Carolyn for surviving through the harrowing experiences and gathering the courage to share them. It must be so cathartic for her and could help those who lose hope while steering through turbulent times. This book is not easy to read. At places I had to turn my kindle off and halt the reading to calm my emotions, to let the lump in my throat melt and I must tell you that I am an emotionally strong person. It is a quick read but not for those with a weak heart.

[Donnally Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unhinged is an honest and deeply affecting memoir of the horrors of child abuse and the emotional scars it leaves. The narrator is a survivor of almost unthinkable abuse at the hands of those adults who should have been protecting and nurturing her. The events are told with a vividness and immediacy that draws the reader right into the action, and the insights into the characters and their motivations are startling and persuasive.
This book will make for good reading for other victims of child abuse dealing with their own inner demons of shame and self-hatred. The letters at the end are cathartic and are examples of how to try to overcome the long shadows of guilt and anger that can eat up a human soul. The hopeful outlook the narrator conveys at the conclusion is well earned and conveys a message of redemption and a love that can overcome the deepest wounds.
I do have to mention one issue with the writing. There are many events and characters that pass in quick succession. At times I found myself losing my footing, uncertain of the setting or exactly who Carolyn was with. If the author attempts a revision, I would suggest she put a little effort into the pacing of her tale and making sure the narrative line is clear. This, however, is a minor quibble.

[Clive Hawkswood · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a tale of horrendous child abuse and how the victim eventually, as an adult, makes something like a normal life for themselves. However, it is not in any sense a happy ending, because she is still having to live with it. There is an underlying message about abuse leading to abuse, but it would take a saint to feel any sympathy, especially for those members of her family who who were either directly responsible for, or complicit in, the abuse. The author is, of course, to be commended for having the bravery and strength of mind to put down on paper the torment that she suffered.

I have to mention one character in particular. The mother is quite simply a monster and had she been a purely literary creation it would have been a tour de force of writing. Unfortunately, this was a real person and one that most of us would struggle to believe could exist. I suspect that level of disbelief is what leads to so much abuse still being perpetrated and it can only be hoped that if nothing else this book will raise awareness amongst a wider readership of what might be going on behind closed doors.