Joy in the Sorrow: How a Thriving Church (and its Pastor) Learned to Suffer Well

by Matt Chandler

We all wonder how we will cope in times of terrible suffering, and how we can best support others who are suffering. And we all ask the question: how does suffering square with God’s character and purpose?

As a young pastor, Matt Chandler knew he needed to learn how to help hurting people. He studied the Scriptures, and he learned from people at the Village Church who remained joyful in their suffering. And then suddenly he was having to live what he'd learned.

This is the moving story of Matt's battle with a potentially fatal brain tumor. But it's also the stories of those who taught him, and teach him, how to walk with joy in sorrow.

This book will make you cry, laugh, and worship God. And you will see how you can live with joy when times of sorrow come, and how you can support others going through tough times.

Genres: Christian, Faith, Nonfiction, Grief, Christian Living, Christian Non Fiction, Religion

215 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 1, 2019

About the author

Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

Matt Chandler is the lead pastor of The Village Church, a multi-campus church in the Dallas metroplex of over 10,000 people. His sermons are among the topselling (free) podcasts on itunes and he speaks at conferences worldwide. Prior to accepting the pastorate at The Village, Matt had a vibrant itinerant ministry for over ten years where he spoke to hundreds of thousands of people in America and abroad about the glory of God and beauty of Jesus. He lives in Texas with his wife, Lauren, and their three children: Audrey, Reid and Norah.

Reviews

[Eilidh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend this book. It's full of real stories of horrendous suffering that Christians have faced, but also testifies to God's incredible goodness and faithfulness. Lots of honesty, humility and encouragement as they share their experiences. We all face sorrows of different kinds and this book makes you want to suffer well relying on God's strength and provision .

[Stephen Drew · Rating 4 out of 5]

I came to this book in quite a providential act of God in that I sat in a hospital hallway waiting for treatment to covid symptoms when I came across Chandler’s story of having a brain tumor, which I had not encountered for quite some time. However, just minutes later I was told by a doctor that in my CT scan discovered a brian tumor I had as well. Shortly after the prognosis I remembered that Chandler and his church had written a book on suffering, and I ordered it right away.

It is a deeply moving book and continual reminder that many have gone through far worse suffering than what I am and walked rightly with God. Of course some of the stories are written far better than others, the early ones being very providential with key scriptures God had lead me to as well. I also think it is significant it was published in 2019 right before the suffering our world has gone through beginning in 2020.

Chandlers final chapter in the book recounts God removing a depth of pride he had right along with his tumor. This is my hope as well with my coming surgery in June, that God would remove any depth of gripping sin as well.

[Bekah McFarland · Rating 5 out of 5]

Coming from Matt Chandler, one would expect an excellent book on suffering. What makes this book excellent, however, is that it is not written by Chandler alone. It is the compilation of eleven different people/couples all giving their personal accounts of suffering and how the Lord led and sanctified them through their trials. This book takes the topic of suffering and makes it personal, relatable, and real.

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a collection of memoir-type essays from a variety of contributors about suffering in their lives. It opens and closes with a chapter by Chandler, and the chapters in between are from other people with ties to Chandler's church (The Village Church). Many different kinds of suffering are included (death, illness, addiction, etc) and none of the chapters feature the "then I just believed and all was good" type thinking. As will happen with books that have contributors, I really connected with some chapters and not with others. Each chapter ends with a section from Chandler's blog from the time of his bought with brain cancer. I hate to say this, but the blog post parts didn't feel like they belonged or connected in any way with what came before in the chapter, so I mainly skipped them. Overall, this is a good book on suffering. It is more example than theology, which can be very helpful for those who are currently suffering.

[Dan Mason · Rating 4 out of 5]

As helpful and biblical as books like Keller’s “Walking With God Through Pain and Suffering” are, this book is uniquely helpful in the multiplicity of experiences it presents. It’s not just abstract theology; it’s lived experience. It’s not just that God calls himself faithful and good; it’s that he demonstrates it. These stories are hard and emotional, so this is a difficult book to read. But at the same time it’s deeply moving and encouraging for anyone undergoing suffering.

[Cole Shiflet · Rating 4 out of 5]

After growing up at The Village Church, this was a sweet and challenging book to read about the joyful suffering of many people I knew from my childhood years. I bought this book in 2020 shortly before a season of immense suffering in my own life.

It’s okay not to be okay, God meets us where we are—and he regularly meets us there through his people.

[Meredith Evans · Rating 5 out of 5]

Deep, profound, and wildly encouraging stories of the steadfast love of the Lord amidst the storms of life.

[Jenny · Rating 3 out of 5]

Continuing my way through books on suffering for Lent. This, so far, has been my least favorite. There is nothing that I can point at that is wrong--it is full of deeply personal stories of loss and hardship and offers the "correct" Biblical lessons in response... but it somehow feels rote rather than real.

It is entirely possible that I'm the problem, or simply that the previous two books just cast this one in the shade and I would have appreciated this one more if I read it first. It's not a bad book. I just didn't find it as helpful or meaningful as others on the subject.

[Melanie Hickey · Rating 5 out of 5]

absolutely outstanding read

Outstanding book. At times it is really heavy content and hard to process through but absolutely beautifully presented.

Gods faithfulness is seen through the good and the bad.

[Rebecca Tredway · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really helpful book for Christians wrestling through (inevitable) times of suffering. Truths upon truths abound in these chapters authored by a variety of believers dealing with a variety of circumstances.

[Josiah · Rating 5 out of 5]

No one like to suffer. In fact, our human nature would tell us to run in the opposite direction as fast and far as possible at the first sign of affliction. And yet, when we come to the Bible, we find repeated again the same thing; count it all joy when you meet trials (James 1:2). Rejoicing in being counted worthy to suffer for the name (Acts 5:41). Rejoice in suffering (Romans 5:3). There are many more, but even just these three make quite the statement; as Christians, we are to rejoice in our suffering. The question is, how can we do such a seemingly backwards thing? “Joy in the Suffering” by Matt Chandler and friends examines this paradox.

This book was an incredible help to me because it neither leaned too heavily on personal experience so as to be merely a collection of stories nor focused so intently on theoretical theology that your head but not heart was engaged. The authors all share personal stories of suffering from their life, but they do not stop at simply recounting history; they explain how they were able to practically find joy in their trials, how they grew closer to God and His people, and helped me to think through the presuppositions I have towards suffering and God’s intentions and heart towards us in our suffering.

I highly recommend this book to any and ever Christian. Suffering is a common denominator for the whole human race, believer or not. But we are called to handle it differently than the world and to trust that God can make beauty even out of the broken pieces of our lives, and this book helps in turning our hearts toward Him.

[Carol Arnold · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an excellent book showing God's faithfulness through the midst of trials, even and especially, through severe suffering. It is a collection of stories compiled by Matt Chandler detailing the suffering experiences of several church members, beginning with Chandler himself, who had a brain tumor. So why the 3-star rating? It is exclusive to the audio book format. It was very confusing at times to discern what exactly was going on. It is read by Lance Smith. So when he would read the part of a woman, it was not always clear whose story was being read. Or maybe I just wasn't paying close enough attention at the start of the chapter. But at the end of several of the chapters, there would be a brief update on the progress of Chandler's brain tumor treatment. The narrator would be telling the story of say, a woman who lost her husband and then there was an update on Chandler. It was very confusing and took me a while to figure out what was going on. It didn't happen at the end of EVERY chapter, just quite a few of them. I wish I had a physical copy of the book so I could glance through it and see how it was handled there.

[Jesse Michael · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked up Joy in the Sorrow because I like Matt Chandler's writing and several families that are close to us were unexpectedly struck with different terrible situations. I was hoping this book would help teach me how to care for those families and prepare me for when suffering comes. While the book did do that, it was not the book I was expecting it to be. I was wanting a biblical and theological walk through the topic of suffering, but the stories in this book throw you into the deep end with these people and the tragic things they've went through. It took me a long time to get through this book. I felt that I had to take a break from reading it in between each story. But I'm glad that I read it. I will keep it on my bookshelf to reference it. But I'm not sure if I would recommend it to a friend. Maybe if they were wanting examples of suffering well, but probably not if they were wanting to learn more about suffering as a Christian.

[Tim Franks · Rating 4 out of 5]

I would rate this book with a 4.5. This book had the vast array of emotions from joy to tears from the pain and suffering felt by the different stories here. Matt and the others from TVC in a transparent and real way share the depth of the pain we feel in the admit of deep suffering that can only be overcome by the power of Jesus in our lives. I hope the words-experiences of this book and from God's Word will be able to sustain me when deep suffering and pain comes in my life in the future. Learning to suffer well isn't easy and doesn't come from within ourselves, but through the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit in our lives. I would recommend all people read this work, but be prepared for the challenge of emotions and the way we are living our lives wanting to be in control.

[Hank Pharis · Rating 3 out of 5]

(NOTE: I'm stingy with stars. For me 2 stars means a good book or a B. 3 stars means a very good book or a B+. 4 stars means an outstanding book or an A {only about 5% of the books I read merit 4 stars}. 5 stars means an all time favorite or an A+ {Only one of 400 or 500 books rates this!).

The great news is that I can listen to a book a day at work. The bad news is that I can’t keep up with decent reviews. So I’m going to give up for now and just rate them. I hope to come back to some of the most significant things I listen to and read them and then post a review.

[Ophelia · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Joy in the Sorrow” by Matt Chandler is a profound and uplifting read that beautifully balances raw honesty with unshakable hope. Chandler’s insights into finding joy amidst suffering are both biblically grounded and deeply personal, making the book relatable and encouraging. His pastoral heart shines through, offering practical wisdom and spiritual encouragement for anyone navigating pain. The stories shared are moving, and the message is clear: God’s presence transforms our sorrows. A must-read for those seeking light in dark times!

[Nathan Cabeen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Going through suffering

Matt Chandler compiled a great selection of story from those who have suffered in extraordinary ways. Some experiences consisted of God doing incredible healings in peoples lives and others were unexpected tragedies. My only thing is that I wish Matt would have done a stand alone chapter on the theology of suffering. However, it was woven into the chapters.

[Rob Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

Probably one of the most difficult books I've every tried to get through. The stories shared don't just come from one person, but from many people. Each one of them not only shares their story, but they also share the truth of who God is in their darkest days, months and years. I whole heartedly recommend this book as we all continue to learn what it means to suffer well and as we learn about the God who works all things together for our good.

[Claire Schmidt · Rating 5 out of 5]

His book takes a raw look into grief and the spaces God meets us. This is a book of testimonies from people in the village church in Dallas.Through the testimonies of others I got to put words to deep grief I had felt from my own story. This isn’t a book I would use as a tool in grief or counseling someone who is walking though that, but this is a book of great encouragement for anyone who’s life has been touched by grief or if it hasn’t yet.

[Becky · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought that the book was really good and I appreciate the anecdotes and multiple perspectives that show the universality of suffering and also really showed the beauty with it along with the painful aspects, and nothing was sugarcoated. The theme was God in the midst of suffering, but overall, it just helped me connect with people that had experienced all kinds of different things emotionally and improved my empathy skills, as well as my understanding of biblical suffering.

[Christina Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

Christian reality

This is a wonderful book for those who know Christ and for those who are searching for Him in the midst of suffering. Can there be joy and pain at the same time? The Bible says yes, and this book shows us how this plays out in the lives around us. I highly recommend this book.

[Brian Mc Fall · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone should read this book!!

This book is full of wisdom, it's encouraging and real. Christians face difficulties and sickness our God never changes and longs for us to draw close to him in every circumstanc.
It's honestly brings us closer to God.

[Ian Rees · Rating 3 out of 5]

A moving collection of stories of suffering in a church, interspersed with the account of the author's own illness and treatment. Some are obviously more powerful than others, but together they make a challenging account of the sort of difficulties we may face and how to find Jesus in them

[Kathleen Colanta · Rating 5 out of 5]

Do the next thing.

[Neal Parsons · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great explanation of Gods sovereignty and goodness as shown through the hardships of life.

[Joan Arning · Rating 5 out of 5]

Travel with Pastor Matt Chandler and members of his congregation as they find God's presence and grow through suffering.

[Avery Beausoleil · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book if you have a deep sense of faith or are a Christian.

[Bill Pence · Rating 5 out of 5]

David Roark, Communications and Resources Director at The Village Church, is the General Editor of this unique book. He writes that the hope of the book is to tell you that even though we will all suffer; we can find hope and purpose in that suffering. The book includes chapters from pastors and ministers and members, and former pastors and ministers and members, of The Village, a church located in Texas where Matt Chandler is one the lead pastors.
Each chapter of the book represents someone’s story—and what God has shown that individual in and through their suffering—that has been a part of the church’s bigger story. Some of the chapters are written by people I was familiar with (Matt Chandler, his wife Lauren Chandler, hip-hop artist Tedashii and his wife Danielle, and writer Lore Ferguson Wilbert), and also those from the church that I was not familiar with.
Between chapters are included excerpts from the video blogs that Matt Chandler recorded for the church as he walked through his own suffering in the wake of collapsing with a brain tumor (oligodendroglioma) on Thanksgiving, 2009, and his subsequent surgery and treatment. Together, the stories are a reminder that they are people who have learned to suffer well together as they’ve walked together and leaned on the Lord together through so much.
Matt Chandler writes the opening and closing chapters. He tells us that we will all suffer at some point; it’s just a matter of when. He writes that one of the more significant revelations that he gained from watching believers suffer faithfully was that you’re going to get the grace of God when you need it. He tells us that joy and sorrow can co-exist for the Christian. We can be totally confused, and yet at peace, at the same time.
He writes of studying and teaching about suffering to his growing church, and how that became foundational to the life of the church. He tells us that one of the greatest ironies and joys of his life is that while he was preparing to help his people suffer, God was preparing him to suffer. After suffering a seizure from a brain tumor on Thanksgiving, 2009, and being told that he probably only had 2-3 years to live, he wasn’t walking alongside those in our church who were suffering anymore. He was now the one walking through the valley. He writes that the book is about what happened to him and in him after that Thanksgiving Day—how the Lord showed up, and what he did, and what Chandler learned. But more than that, it’s about those who he has learned from. It’s the stories of the precious brothers and sisters who taught him in their lives how to suffer well. These chapters reflect how the Lord showed up in their lives. These are accounts of how, through their faithfulness and joy in the valley, they showed their church, and have taught their pastor, how to suffer well.
This is a difficult book to read as it is about very real suffering, sorrow and loss. But it is also a book that shows us how they (and we) can have joy in the sorrow.
Here are a few of my favorite quotes from the book:
1. It doesn’t make any sense to try to hide suffering and brokenness, when it’s clearly a part of life in this world; and when it’s clearly a part of the gospel that Jesus is with us in the mess, in the storms, and in the pain. Matt Chandler
2. God is with his people through suffering and through difficulty, so that they come out on the other side as a picture of grace and glory, and he uses them in their pain and changes the world through the results of their trials. Matt Chandler
3. If you’re not real about the reality of sorrow, you end up creating guilt and shame in people around suffering. Matt Chandler
4. Whatever God has ordained for us today is for our good: not only the things that are fun and comfortable, but the fire as well. For only when the gold has been purified can it reflect the Refiner’s face. Jeanne Damoff
5. In each overwhelming moment, Christ has already paid your passage. There is not a single moment in this life that need crush you. Guy Delcambre
6. No matter how many days we live on earth, God sovereignly reigns over every one of them. Kyle Porter
7. Suffering serves a purpose beyond what we can see or understand. Kyle Porter
8. When we suffer, we will either run to God or away from him. God wants us to run to him. Charity Ready
9. Suffering is an assumed reality in the Scriptures. The world is broken because of our sin, which means no one escapes hardship on this side of heaven. Anne Lincoln Holibaugh
10. Could God still be good and therefore do good by withholding one blessing (children) and in its place giving another, stranger and unsought, blessing (childlessness)? Lore Ferguson Wilbert
11. God used my bout with cancer to lower me, to change me, and to exalt himself. Matt Chandler

[HelenA33 · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the book I longed for when my dad was diagnosed for the second time with cancer. Nothing made sense, and I couldn’t find God in it. This book gives the answers - why does a loving God allow loving fathers to suffer with brain tumours when their wives and kids need them so much? There are lots of other examples of real suffering here too (a few more which were also familiar to me). Solid, helpful writing which brought me comfort and hope. We all suffer. God is good all the time. Even in our darkest hour.

[Michael Wojcik · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book will make you cry.

It’s one thing to hear from pastors/theologians about how to look at suffering, but it’s another thing to hear from normal people about how they actually experienced the hardest things in their life they went through. I think the latter is more compelling.

I found this to be a sweet balm to my soul in the midst of personal hardship. It helped me to experience, as Matt Chandler quotes Samuel Rutherford in the end of the book, “When I am in the cellar of affliction, I look for the Lord’s choicest wine.” And I don’t even like wine 🙂

Strongly recommend for anyone who is in the midst of or reflecting on hardship.