Setting Parents Free: How to give your kids what they need, and where to run when you drop the ball.

by John L. Cox

Setting Parents Free -- Let’s be honest, parenting can feel like a long series of “please don’t let me screw this kid up” moments -- occasionally punctuated by something catching fire (sometimes emotionally, sometimes literally). Drawing from 37 years of clinical practice as a psychologist and a lifetime of real parenting, Dr. John Cox has written Setting Parents Free to help you bypass the anxiety-fest and unpack what kids actually need to become adults who can love, live, and relate well. How do we teach our children learn how relationships work; help them experience freedom from shame, teach them about God in a meaningful way; help them develop the strength to face the hard stuff in life—and also how to seriously equip you as a parent to master strong, effective discipline. (Gotta keep the inmates from taking over the asylum, right?). In SPF, you’ll find practical wisdom, honest, funny stories, and a voice that feels like someone sitting next to you saying, “You’re not crazy—parenting is hard, but here’s a clear, powerful way to engage it.”
But the background chorus of Setting Parents Free is freedom! Dr. Cox will explore what he calls “Good Enough Parenting” – the discovery that the “best” parents aren’t amazing, they are just “good enough!”
In other words, when we fail (and then repair with humility and love) we may be giving our kids something more lifegiving than “getting it right the first time.” SPF will teach you how that works! So, let’s learn how to give to our kids in powerful, rich ways… and then where to run when we drop the ball. That’s what parenting is all about -- Setting Parents Free!

Dr. John L. Cox is a clinical psychologist. In addition to maintaining an outpatient psychotherapy practice, he is a frequent speaker in the areas of marriage, parenting and relational growth, and the author of The One A Psychologist Reaches for the Heart of God.
Johncoxpsychology.com Good Enough Living

364 pages, Paperback

Published October 17, 2019

Reviews

[C.J. Moore · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lots of helpful tips; broad across the ages so you can grab what you need for the given moment of parenthood. Could’ve been shorter for sure, but he’s an engaging writer and tells stories quite well, so I didn’t always mind. He’ll help you see you’re not alone in the struggle, and your kids are probably gonna be alright (or, at the least, your one bad day isn’t going to make them psychopaths later).

Biggest takeaways:

-emphasis on teaching consequences of behaviors, and in that, shaping young minds
-be calm, cool, and collected in the disciplinary moments
-give children clear options and let them make a choice; if they still choose wrongly, help them see the consequences of that choice (and deliver on your promises)
-give them time to learn abstract principles (for a while, it’s okay that things are merely “black and white” because mom and dad say so)
-varying forms of discipline (not always going with the terminal option of spanking)
-exemplifying for your kids what you want to see in them (apologize when you do wrong)

[Maddie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Given to me by my children’s pre school director. Maybe my new top parenting book. Appreciated the developmental relevant remarks, with practical tips and a strong/humble Christian desire to transform children’s hearts (and parents). I’ll be referencing and recommending this one for a bit.

[Amanda Goyzueta · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved it. John writes as if he’s speaking to you. At times that’s annoying and at others it feels like you’re having a heart to heart in a warm, safe room together…and in parenting don’t we need those warm, safe spaces? Grateful for how he breaks things down by age and stage at almost every turn. No stage and no child is one size fits all and he gets that. Honestly, made me long for a seminar to come near me so I actually CAN go sit in that room with him. Grateful for his years of experience and wisdom.

[Thomas Kuhn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny, practical, and maybe a little repetitive. It reads like an extended conversation with an older parent who’s seen everything you’re seeing. Really helpful.