Not a review, however a plea, which may or may not be appropriate. For the love of a mother who hasn’t seen her daughters in 4 years, for the love of those daughters who are with our abuser and the mother who has zero idea where they are or if they’re safe and happy or not and for the women who stopped reading the day her heart (a.k.a. Her daughters) were taken from her by the sociopath, whose most devastating form of abuse was “taking my house and my girls” after a threat I could not thwart. I’m broken, wrecked, devastated, alone, living out of a storage unit, my car and a garage with nowhere else to turn.....I entered for this book in the giveaways, however if I don’t win it, I’m hoping anyone who sees this may have an ARC (print) I could please have the gift of receiving.
I stoped reading and stopped smiling the day I last saw my girls. Over four years I’ve trained myself how to numb the pain so deeply that I often can’t feel a damn thing. To have to numb a loss like this means having to forgo even feeling joy. It’s a battle. It’s a horrible, cruel, rotten, heart wrenching, unbearable and indescribable battle, but I have turned my pain and lack of joy for myself into doing for others. My new ways are “if I cannot have joy in my own life, I’m going to do everything I can to make sure I put joy into the lives of everyone I can”. It’s amazing to be able to give my heart for others. At the end of every day I am still alone, disabled, broke, homeless and broken, but to empathize so immensely with others, I feel, is a gift in my heart to share the best way I can. During a pandemic, all this is far far worse and far more frightening without a permanent place to live.
I’m returning to books because I’ve had to stop working (was an essential worker, but health issues made me have to stop), so now I find I just go out and drive all day or go aimlessly to my storage unit every day because I cannot sit home and still missing my girls having zero idea where they are and when I lose my only place to stay and living in my car, will they know where to find me? Will they ever try to find me. A sociopath/abuser/parental alienator is a very powerful person and that’s not a compliment. I cannot continue to drive around every day because my arrhythmia is becoming very frequent every day so I need to turn to books again and reading the synopsis to this story prompted me to spill my life and my losses out here to the public.
Please, if anyone has an ARC, I’d would love to read this asap. It may crush me in ways, but it may help me in others. This synopsis screams that it’s a must read for me. I’ve nearly perfected my ability to numb myself, however as I type this I’m pouring tears. Family, love, loss, brokenness, poor health, homeless, mothers and daughters and abuse........this book is one I’m asking for. Thank you and please don’t judge that I just shared all that. Sometimes a miracle comes out of sharing your truths and devastations. Although, any god who can put two beautiful and precious girls into the hands of their abuser completely brainwashed, for me.......there is no god. Not anymore. I don’t want pity......’ever’, but a book, the miracle of a place to call home and reunited with my daughters would be all I would ever ever want and need. I probably won’t ever have a home (being realistic) or my daughters (being too broken to hope anymore), but a (this) book maybe.......an ARC would be doable
Please be safe and be well everyone