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The Boy Between: A Mother and Son’s Journey From a World Gone Grey
Bestselling novelist Amanda Prowse knew how to resolve a fictional family crisis. But then her son came to her with a real one… Josiah was nineteen with the world at his feet when things changed. Without warning, the new university student’s mental health deteriorated to the point that he planned his own death. His mother, bestselling author Amanda Prowse, found herself grappling for ways to help him, with no clear sense of where that could be found. This is the book they wish had been there for them during those dark times. Josiah’s situation is not the statistics on student mental health are terrifying. And he was not the only one suffering; his family was also hijacked by his illness, watching him struggle and fearing the day he might succeed in taking his life. In this book, Josiah and Amanda hope to give a voice to those who suffer, and to show them that help can be found. It is Josiah’s raw, at times bleak, sometimes humorous, but always honest account of what it is like to live with depression. It is Amanda’s heart-rending account of her pain at watching him suffer, speaking from the heart about a mother’s love for her child. For anyone with depression and anyone who loves someone with depression, Amanda and Josiah have a clear message―you are not alone, and there is hope.
286 pages, Paperback
First published November 1, 2020
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 602 reviews
August 21, 2020
This is the true story of a mother and son, and the evil illness which is depression. What happens when your lovely, sunny boy, in whom you have so much hope, love and expectation invested becomes so low with depression that their world turns grey, and they feel the only way out is suicide? How can any mother cope with the terrible pain and helplessness?
Amanda Prowse is an incredibly talented and prolific writer, and her son Josiah (Josh) is a very intelligent and likeable young man, and together they document their way through the darkest period in their lives, and how they eventually bring colour back to Josh's world with the help of Josh's incredible Stepfather Simeon, and the whole family. Amanda and Josh take turns at writing chapters, often telling the same incident from their different points of view, which is extremely inciteful.
This is a book that had to be written, and will stay with me for a very long time. It should be compulsory reading in every Secondary school in the country! My son was in his first year at University last year and found himself spending the whole night with one of his flatmates in his halls of residence, talking him out of ending his life. He had no previous experience with this insidious disease, but luckily can talk the hind leg off a donkey! He was very distraught afterwards, and I feel he would have been better equipped if he had read this book prior to the incident.
I would also like every member of the Government to read this book, and then ensure there are properly trained counsellors at every University, actively watching out for struggling children. I feel like a law should be passed to ensure this happens (Josh's Law?) And/or a charity set up to help these children. I feel very strongly that there but for the grace of G-d go any of us - particularly mothers of boys.
Please don't let anything I have said put you off reading this book in any way. Having said all the above it is also a very engaging book, well written, and not difficult to read. At its heart is the love of a mother and son and most can relate to that if nothing else.
If you only read one book this year, make it this one!
Amanda Prowse is an incredibly talented and prolific writer, and her son Josiah (Josh) is a very intelligent and likeable young man, and together they document their way through the darkest period in their lives, and how they eventually bring colour back to Josh's world with the help of Josh's incredible Stepfather Simeon, and the whole family. Amanda and Josh take turns at writing chapters, often telling the same incident from their different points of view, which is extremely inciteful.
This is a book that had to be written, and will stay with me for a very long time. It should be compulsory reading in every Secondary school in the country! My son was in his first year at University last year and found himself spending the whole night with one of his flatmates in his halls of residence, talking him out of ending his life. He had no previous experience with this insidious disease, but luckily can talk the hind leg off a donkey! He was very distraught afterwards, and I feel he would have been better equipped if he had read this book prior to the incident.
I would also like every member of the Government to read this book, and then ensure there are properly trained counsellors at every University, actively watching out for struggling children. I feel like a law should be passed to ensure this happens (Josh's Law?) And/or a charity set up to help these children. I feel very strongly that there but for the grace of G-d go any of us - particularly mothers of boys.
Please don't let anything I have said put you off reading this book in any way. Having said all the above it is also a very engaging book, well written, and not difficult to read. At its heart is the love of a mother and son and most can relate to that if nothing else.
If you only read one book this year, make it this one!
October 24, 2020
Last year I went to the Wrexham Festival of Words and the highlight for me was listening to author Amanda Prowse talk about her life and how her writing journey began. I’ve long been a fan of her books and so I loved hearing the background story behind how she came to be a bestselling author. During that afternoon she mentioned that she was working on a book with her son and the emotions seemed to hit her as soon as she mentioned it and what lay behind their decision to collaborate on a book together. And I knew then that this book was one I had to read…
I’ve read other books about depression but never one as raw and powerful as The Boy Between. And I think the main reason for that is the fact that it’s written by a mother and son who have both delivered their own perspectives with a gut wrenching honesty. We get the background to their relationship from the day that Amanda gives birth to her much longed for baby boy Josiah-known as Josh. One of my favourite sayings is that you never know what goes on behind closed doors and I found it so sad that behind the happy and positive face Amanda showed in public she was going through such a difficult time in her private life. And I’m so glad that Josh told his story directly, with an openness that showed the strength of his relationship with his mother but also the special bond he shares with his stepfather Simeon. I was often in tears as the conversations between them showed the depths of concern from parents for their child and that awful feeling of despair and helplessness that grew from it. But there was nothing they could do to lift the hopelessness of the depression that had enveloped Josh and taken away his joy of living-apart from support him in any way that he would let them.
Having had depression myself several times in my life (usually brought on by traumatic events which isn’t always the case-especially with younger people) and having other members of my family also suffer from depression and PTSD, I thought this was an insightfully crafted book that delved beneath the surface of a hidden illness that everyone has an opinion on and, unfortunately, that opinion is not always a positive one. I’m sure people are well intentioned but telling a person with depression or anxiety to “snap out of it” and “what have you got to be depressed about?” show that we still have a HUGE amount of work to do in getting people to understand and recognise the underlying causes, signs and symptoms of depression. But these can vary so much from person to person and often there is no “trigger” in the same way that there’s no reason why some people get cancer and others don’t. Depression is also a killer and I just hope that by reading this book, a parent may spot something in there that sparks up a leading conversation with their child that might just save a life.
The Boy Between is a very personal and truthful account of depression that Josh and Amanda have put together with love and gratitude for their family and friends. Their mother and son bond shines through their narratives and I’m so pleased for them both that they are now coming through the other side. The suicide rate amongst young men is extraordinarily high and I hope that this book helps to raise awareness of that fact and get families talking about mental health issues.
This is a very special book that won’t be for everyone due to triggers but to see how depression can hit anyone at anytime-no matter who they are-is something we all need to see and understand. Highly recommended by me!
I’ve read other books about depression but never one as raw and powerful as The Boy Between. And I think the main reason for that is the fact that it’s written by a mother and son who have both delivered their own perspectives with a gut wrenching honesty. We get the background to their relationship from the day that Amanda gives birth to her much longed for baby boy Josiah-known as Josh. One of my favourite sayings is that you never know what goes on behind closed doors and I found it so sad that behind the happy and positive face Amanda showed in public she was going through such a difficult time in her private life. And I’m so glad that Josh told his story directly, with an openness that showed the strength of his relationship with his mother but also the special bond he shares with his stepfather Simeon. I was often in tears as the conversations between them showed the depths of concern from parents for their child and that awful feeling of despair and helplessness that grew from it. But there was nothing they could do to lift the hopelessness of the depression that had enveloped Josh and taken away his joy of living-apart from support him in any way that he would let them.
Having had depression myself several times in my life (usually brought on by traumatic events which isn’t always the case-especially with younger people) and having other members of my family also suffer from depression and PTSD, I thought this was an insightfully crafted book that delved beneath the surface of a hidden illness that everyone has an opinion on and, unfortunately, that opinion is not always a positive one. I’m sure people are well intentioned but telling a person with depression or anxiety to “snap out of it” and “what have you got to be depressed about?” show that we still have a HUGE amount of work to do in getting people to understand and recognise the underlying causes, signs and symptoms of depression. But these can vary so much from person to person and often there is no “trigger” in the same way that there’s no reason why some people get cancer and others don’t. Depression is also a killer and I just hope that by reading this book, a parent may spot something in there that sparks up a leading conversation with their child that might just save a life.
The Boy Between is a very personal and truthful account of depression that Josh and Amanda have put together with love and gratitude for their family and friends. Their mother and son bond shines through their narratives and I’m so pleased for them both that they are now coming through the other side. The suicide rate amongst young men is extraordinarily high and I hope that this book helps to raise awareness of that fact and get families talking about mental health issues.
This is a very special book that won’t be for everyone due to triggers but to see how depression can hit anyone at anytime-no matter who they are-is something we all need to see and understand. Highly recommended by me!
October 9, 2020
What an emotional, brutally honest and moving book
Amanda Prowse and her son Josiah talk candidly and without reserve about Josiah’s depression and how it affected literally every second of every day of their lives
The book starts with opening chapters by them both and then alternate’s chapters between them covering a specific time in their lives ie School, Uni etc and ends with closing chapters again from them both on how life is now
The so real it hurts dialogue covers everything from Amanda’s initial ‘niggles’ things were not ‘quite right’ to Josiah’s horrific decision to ‘delete himself’ and everything inbetween and ends with a realistic, I wont say happy ever after, but realistic ending that makes me want every day to be an improvement for them both in their ongoing ( although now much more positive ) worries and lives
You can only admire them both, to lay themselves open like this takes courage and back bone and a want to help others, I find them both courageous in writing this book
I have a cousin who suffers from Ehler Danos syndrome and so found this a fascinating insight into the daily battle ( she often keeps hidden ) she faces
The list of information of resources, numbers at the end of the book etc is superb
The Boy Between should be read by everyone, sufferers, family, friends and indeed skeptics of depression and should be a resource for Uni students and indeed anyone in need
Bravo to both Amanda and Josiah, I think as with everyone who reads this I would hug you both if could and say well done for being here and writing this
10/10
5 Stars
Amanda Prowse and her son Josiah talk candidly and without reserve about Josiah’s depression and how it affected literally every second of every day of their lives
The book starts with opening chapters by them both and then alternate’s chapters between them covering a specific time in their lives ie School, Uni etc and ends with closing chapters again from them both on how life is now
The so real it hurts dialogue covers everything from Amanda’s initial ‘niggles’ things were not ‘quite right’ to Josiah’s horrific decision to ‘delete himself’ and everything inbetween and ends with a realistic, I wont say happy ever after, but realistic ending that makes me want every day to be an improvement for them both in their ongoing ( although now much more positive ) worries and lives
You can only admire them both, to lay themselves open like this takes courage and back bone and a want to help others, I find them both courageous in writing this book
I have a cousin who suffers from Ehler Danos syndrome and so found this a fascinating insight into the daily battle ( she often keeps hidden ) she faces
The list of information of resources, numbers at the end of the book etc is superb
The Boy Between should be read by everyone, sufferers, family, friends and indeed skeptics of depression and should be a resource for Uni students and indeed anyone in need
Bravo to both Amanda and Josiah, I think as with everyone who reads this I would hug you both if could and say well done for being here and writing this
10/10
5 Stars
May 10, 2023
While this book didn't quite meet my bar for 5 stars, I am giving them anyway because a) it's a very important topic and b) the structure is genius. Josh, one of the two authors, experienced severe depression in his late teens, and this memoir takes the reader through what that felt like for him. But the brilliant part of this book is that alternating chapters are written by Josh's mother, where she relates the same time period through her own eyes.
I think this book gave me new insights and empathy into what it really means to experience depression, but I also felt so badly for Josh's parents who really couldn't do anything to make the situation much better for Josh. They were super loving (based on everyone's account) and they definitely cared, but I think they just didn't really know what to do. And honestly, it sounds like the professionals barely know what to do either. It's heartbreaking.
There were some questions that were left a little unanswered for me which is why I normally would lean toward 4 stars. I am curious where Josh's biological father was during all this, and if he was involved and if his involvement was helpful. I also would have loved a few chapters from a mental health professional because honestly I wasn't sure how the parents would be coached to behave during these interludes - - was there anything they could have done that would have been more effective than what they did/tried?
All in all, I think it was brave of Josh to share his story, and I think this book could be helpful to a lot of families at least to know they aren't alone. We all want our children to thrive and would do almost anything to achieve that state - - but sometimes all the support and love in the world isn't going to trump biology or the social milieu that children experience today. It's hard to acknowledge how little progress we have made on mental health and how little is really known about it.
Excellent, fast-paced, engrossing, educational read.
I think this book gave me new insights and empathy into what it really means to experience depression, but I also felt so badly for Josh's parents who really couldn't do anything to make the situation much better for Josh. They were super loving (based on everyone's account) and they definitely cared, but I think they just didn't really know what to do. And honestly, it sounds like the professionals barely know what to do either. It's heartbreaking.
There were some questions that were left a little unanswered for me which is why I normally would lean toward 4 stars. I am curious where Josh's biological father was during all this, and if he was involved and if his involvement was helpful. I also would have loved a few chapters from a mental health professional because honestly I wasn't sure how the parents would be coached to behave during these interludes - - was there anything they could have done that would have been more effective than what they did/tried?
All in all, I think it was brave of Josh to share his story, and I think this book could be helpful to a lot of families at least to know they aren't alone. We all want our children to thrive and would do almost anything to achieve that state - - but sometimes all the support and love in the world isn't going to trump biology or the social milieu that children experience today. It's hard to acknowledge how little progress we have made on mental health and how little is really known about it.
Excellent, fast-paced, engrossing, educational read.
April 6, 2021
The Boy Between narrates the story of Amanda Prowse's and her son Josiah Hartley's journey with his experience of depression. The book is constructed of alternating chapters which go back and forth between Amanda and Josiah.
First of all, I want to preface my review by saying my 3 stars doesn't mean I am devaluing Josiah's story in any way, he has had a tough journey with depression, just that for me the book was an ok read and not necessarily one I would be shouting at people to read.
Josiah's chapters were fantastic, he gave a really raw and honest look into the reality of depression and how it can slowly engulf a person. He also really showed the reality of how it can ebb and flow with certain unpredictability. I honestly would have loved to see a whole lot more from him and his thoughts.
Unfortunately, Amanda's chapters were the ones I could not warm to. Parts where she argued with him that it was her story too, where she expressed her jealousy of the attention he was receiving/that he didn't turn to her and her repetitive mention of her success and books tours left me a little cold.
I really would have loved to have seen some of Amanda's chapters broken up with the POV of Simeon (Josiah's step-dad) who really seemed to be the glue that held their world together and seemed to be the voice of reason.
Please don't let my review put you off if you think this book would be helpful or indeed interesting to you. For me, I just felt other books cover the same topic in a better manner.
First of all, I want to preface my review by saying my 3 stars doesn't mean I am devaluing Josiah's story in any way, he has had a tough journey with depression, just that for me the book was an ok read and not necessarily one I would be shouting at people to read.
Josiah's chapters were fantastic, he gave a really raw and honest look into the reality of depression and how it can slowly engulf a person. He also really showed the reality of how it can ebb and flow with certain unpredictability. I honestly would have loved to see a whole lot more from him and his thoughts.
Unfortunately, Amanda's chapters were the ones I could not warm to. Parts where she argued with him that it was her story too, where she expressed her jealousy of the attention he was receiving/that he didn't turn to her and her repetitive mention of her success and books tours left me a little cold.
I really would have loved to have seen some of Amanda's chapters broken up with the POV of Simeon (Josiah's step-dad) who really seemed to be the glue that held their world together and seemed to be the voice of reason.
Please don't let my review put you off if you think this book would be helpful or indeed interesting to you. For me, I just felt other books cover the same topic in a better manner.
October 15, 2020
What a disappointment.
I had never heard of Amanda Prowse, though she never missed an opportunity to tell the reader how she was/is a successful novelist appearing on tv around the world for reviews of her writing and other ' celebrity 'engagements. Whilst the prose was indigestible I persevered because of my experience of and interest in depression and suicidal ideation. ok. 'joshy''s' accounts expounded the depths of darkness and existential hopelessness that can envelop someone who sinks into the grey cloggy abyss, but, in the end it read like a self interested attempt to gain another heart wrenching interview to review her experience on tv or Radio 4s Book club. My best wishes go to Josh and the heroically portrayed Simeon(sp?).
I had never heard of Amanda Prowse, though she never missed an opportunity to tell the reader how she was/is a successful novelist appearing on tv around the world for reviews of her writing and other ' celebrity 'engagements. Whilst the prose was indigestible I persevered because of my experience of and interest in depression and suicidal ideation. ok. 'joshy''s' accounts expounded the depths of darkness and existential hopelessness that can envelop someone who sinks into the grey cloggy abyss, but, in the end it read like a self interested attempt to gain another heart wrenching interview to review her experience on tv or Radio 4s Book club. My best wishes go to Josh and the heroically portrayed Simeon(sp?).
April 16, 2021
This is a brutally honest account of depression by a son who was in the grip of it and a mother who had to go through it all with him.
I love Amanda Prowse's fictional books; she really writes well about emotional themes in particular. This, though is about her own child suffering from an illness that she did not know what to do about.
Josh talks about how he went from a bright student looking forward to a brilliant future, university studies and a life doing what he loved best to not wanting to get up from bed, feeling the world was bleached of all colour and just being totally numb, wanting to sleep all the time. He talks about the guilt he felt at letting down his parents coupled with the inability to care, the attempts he made to be 'normal' which led him to almost leave behind everyone he loved on one terrible day. His description of his feelings makes it clear how unthoughtful and unhelpful suggestions to 'just snap out of it' can feel to those experiencing this indescribable weight. Even his parents didn't know what to do, how to help and though he appreciates all they tried, he was simply not in a position to do what they wanted and that's what he articulates here.. That he wasn't being difficult on purpose; he simply didn't know how to be any other way.
In alternating chapters, Amanda writes about the fear no parent wants to feel.. That a child is slipping away and there is nothing we can do. She talks frankly about how it took her a while to understand Josh and the mistakes she believed she made along the way. She also brings to light how difficult it is to explain to people about a child suffering from mental illness and the extremely irritating responses that often come. From listing the things she tried to the tears she cried to the support she had from her partner to the terror she experienced, all the sleepless nights and the abject helplessness, it's clear that this was a journey to the lowest depths and back.
The honesty in both the accounts is what makes this a book to be read and understood, especially for those who have no idea what it feels like to live through such situations and maybe thinking people are exaggerating when they talk about feeling so low that getting up in the morning is a chore.
The fact that it can affect anyone at any time for no major reason is telling.
A difficult book because of the subject but one that comes across as extremely honest and from the heart. I am glad that their story had a positive end and hope it continues to do so.
I love Amanda Prowse's fictional books; she really writes well about emotional themes in particular. This, though is about her own child suffering from an illness that she did not know what to do about.
Josh talks about how he went from a bright student looking forward to a brilliant future, university studies and a life doing what he loved best to not wanting to get up from bed, feeling the world was bleached of all colour and just being totally numb, wanting to sleep all the time. He talks about the guilt he felt at letting down his parents coupled with the inability to care, the attempts he made to be 'normal' which led him to almost leave behind everyone he loved on one terrible day. His description of his feelings makes it clear how unthoughtful and unhelpful suggestions to 'just snap out of it' can feel to those experiencing this indescribable weight. Even his parents didn't know what to do, how to help and though he appreciates all they tried, he was simply not in a position to do what they wanted and that's what he articulates here.. That he wasn't being difficult on purpose; he simply didn't know how to be any other way.
In alternating chapters, Amanda writes about the fear no parent wants to feel.. That a child is slipping away and there is nothing we can do. She talks frankly about how it took her a while to understand Josh and the mistakes she believed she made along the way. She also brings to light how difficult it is to explain to people about a child suffering from mental illness and the extremely irritating responses that often come. From listing the things she tried to the tears she cried to the support she had from her partner to the terror she experienced, all the sleepless nights and the abject helplessness, it's clear that this was a journey to the lowest depths and back.
The honesty in both the accounts is what makes this a book to be read and understood, especially for those who have no idea what it feels like to live through such situations and maybe thinking people are exaggerating when they talk about feeling so low that getting up in the morning is a chore.
The fact that it can affect anyone at any time for no major reason is telling.
A difficult book because of the subject but one that comes across as extremely honest and from the heart. I am glad that their story had a positive end and hope it continues to do so.
December 30, 2021
Awful! The boy should have written this book on his own. His voice and journey were the only authentic thing in the whole account. The mothers syrupy unreflective telling of this story angered me greatly and told me she should stick to her rom-com genre that her fans know her for. There are elements in this retelling where she is clearly unaware of her systematic undermining of this Child's well-being and at no point takes any responsibility for that fact.
October 30, 2020
Should have been titled ENMESHMENT
Reading this book just made me angry. Who doesn't reach out for crisis help immediately when you have a child who has tried to kill himself? It seems that the parents wanted so badly to be the ones to cure their "Joshy" that they neglected to try harder to find someone with expert mental health skills who could help. Bringing him home and coddling him was not only dangerous but stupid. I get wanting to move heaven and earth to make your child better, but sometimes tough love is the best approach, even if it means calling the cops and sending someone to a mental institution.
Reading this book just made me angry. Who doesn't reach out for crisis help immediately when you have a child who has tried to kill himself? It seems that the parents wanted so badly to be the ones to cure their "Joshy" that they neglected to try harder to find someone with expert mental health skills who could help. Bringing him home and coddling him was not only dangerous but stupid. I get wanting to move heaven and earth to make your child better, but sometimes tough love is the best approach, even if it means calling the cops and sending someone to a mental institution.
October 18, 2020
Oh God.
This is one of the easiest books I've ever read to rate. It can't possibly be anything less than 5 stars. But it's one of the hardest to review. Because I finished reading it and have so many thoughts about it rushing round in my head that it's hard to write them down coherently.
In one sense, the blurb tells the story. It's a frank, honest and heartfelt account by Amanda Prowse and her son Josiah (Josh) about Josh's seemingly sudden and inexplicable descent into depression - as he puts it: "my brain switched off". And this proves to be just the start of a downward spiral that continues to the point where Josh plans his own suicide because that seems almost like a positive thing - the one step that he still feels able to take.
At the same time, his mother's career as an author is going from strength to strength. She is loving not only the writing, but the TV and radio appearances and the editing that goes with it. And it's a fact of life - so no criticism whatsoever of Amanda is intended here - that when you're happy, and busy, and someone else tells you "I'm OK", you accept and believe it. But the realisation that Josh is anything but ok and needs - but doesn't necessarily want - her help comes with sudden, brutal and terrifying clarity.
The pain and anguish that Josh feels as his whole world seems to overwhelm him are beautifully and powerfully conveyed. As are Amanda's frustration at being unable to help her son, and guilt at feeling that she is somehow responsible. And that's because they're true. But equally true, and even more powerful, is the love between mother and child, and that shines through every part of the story that they both tell.
My problem now is that absolutely none of what I've written even begins to describe what I was thinking by the time reached the end of the book. It's not the best thing to finish at midnight, that's for sure.
There were some personal points, which I'll come on to. But first I'll say this:
If you're a parent, read this book.
If you're a teenager and in secondary education, read this book.
If you're a teacher, read this book.
If you're in government, or have any influence on school curriculums, read this book. And then add it so that it's essential reading for anyone studying GCSE English. Because ultimately, the images and messages behind a Shakespeare play or a piece of poetry - whilst they may be interesting - probably won't make a fundamental difference to a person's life. This book just might.
One of the real tragedies here is that both Amanda and Josh took so long to recognise his condition for what it was. And if the awareness isn't out there, how could they be expected to have done otherwise? But even when they were aware that Josh had something called "depression", what then?
Tell someone you've cut your finger and they can give you a piece of sticking plaster, or a bandage. Tell them that your friend or relative has got cancer and they'll probably have heard enough about this disease to know that there could be chemotherapy involved, and perhaps an operation to remove the bad bit from your body, if I can put it that way. But if you heard that your friend, or their child, had depression, would you actually have any idea of what to say? I'm not sure I would. Prior to reading this book, I'm not even sure I'd have known what it meant. But if you’ve read it, you’ll have some idea. And perhaps you won’t be stuck for words.
People say "I'm feeling depressed" when they're tired and run down, after a tough day, or week, or longer. But as Josh has so clearly and powerfully explained, his illness was nothing like that.
And finally there's the issue of what, if anything is the underlying cause. Josh - understandably, on the basis of his experience - is very quick to blame universities and the education system, and specifically the fact that there are few if any checks on students apart from their academic achievements. Even if there are helplines available, they are more likely to be staffed by students who doubtlessly have the best of intentions. But who aren't experts.
Personally though, I think the problem is more widespread.
This is where my personal story starts. I won't be offended if you gloss over it, or if you don't feel that some or all of what I say has relevance.
I'm lucky in that I've never been affected by depression in the way that Josh has. It’s not something that I constantly feel that I’m battling. I have never felt suicidal. But there have been two low points in my life that I remember with absolute clarity.
The first was not during my time at university, but after it. The final year in particular was hard work, as coursework and dissertations caused me to discover what it was like to function after four hours sleep for several nights in a row. But I enjoyed what I was doing, so I didn't really mind. Then, without anything like enough of a break, exams came and went, and a few weeks later the results were announced. And then ... that was the end of it all.
I hadn't given a thought over the past year as to what I might do after it had finished. There just hadn't been the time. And now that I had my degree, and didn't want to stay on for a Masters or a PhD, the university simply didn't want to know. I returned to my parents' house - which in itself felt like a step backward given that I'd now learnt how to live independently - with my self-esteem at rock bottom, with no idea what to do with myself and too exhausted to think about it.
Slowly, and with the aid of more than a little bit of blind luck, I managed to recover some of the confidence that I had lost and was able to find a job in a subject that bore some relationship to what I had studied. Like anything, it had its moments. But I stuck at it, got promoted, bought my first house. I felt satisfied, and confident. I felt happy.
And then the financial crash of 2008 happened. Demand dried up almost overnight. And everyone, from colleagues to clients to regulators, who had previously been supportive were suddenly ready to criticise. This isn't satisfactory. Nor is that. This project is taking too long. This price is too expensive. The result for me was that my confidence took knock after knock until I began to feel unable to function in the only career that I knew how to do. A fledging relationship that I was in fell apart. But if I tried to tell anyone that - even close family and friends - the response essentially was "You're lucky to have a job".
Oh, it was dressed up in varying degrees of sympathy. But it was still the same message. Whether I was happy in it didn’t seem to enter anybody’s head.
Eventually - after a great deal of expense and one failed attempt - I got lucky again and managed to find a counsellor whom I could relate to. She suggested, using examples, that I perhaps wasn't as bad at my job as I felt, but that having something else in my life in addition to work might help.
I ended up teaching scuba diving, which I still do and absolutely love it. To witness the transition from someone who is apprehensive at the very thought of breathing under water, to someone who a matter of weeks later has begun to master it and discover that there really is a whole new world down there, gave me back the satisfaction that I had lost from the day job. But if I have one niggle with it, it's this.
The training agency has an awards programme in which it recognises the instructors who certify more than a certain number of students each year. Given that I've never received a certificate, I can only assume that I've never reached that magic number. I can't be sure though because I have no idea how many courses I've taught. I have not looked. I simply couldn't care less.
I like to think that I'd feel the same way if I ever had to choose a school for my child to attend. I'd want to choose based on whether the other kids in the corridors were mostly smiling. On whether the head teacher was friendly. On whether it 'felt' right. And not, even for one minute on where the school had been placed in that year's league table.
And I think that brings me, after rather a long and rambling time - sorry about that - to my point. We live in a society where all of us are judged, in one way or another, on the basis of achievement. Where we live. The house we live in. The job we do. Whether we're married. Whether we have children. Even the car we drive. But how often do we look at anybody, any family, any neighbour, even any friend and think "are they happy"?
I think the answer is "not often". And that's tragic. Because surely 'being happy' should be regarded as the greatest achievement of all.
This is one of the easiest books I've ever read to rate. It can't possibly be anything less than 5 stars. But it's one of the hardest to review. Because I finished reading it and have so many thoughts about it rushing round in my head that it's hard to write them down coherently.
In one sense, the blurb tells the story. It's a frank, honest and heartfelt account by Amanda Prowse and her son Josiah (Josh) about Josh's seemingly sudden and inexplicable descent into depression - as he puts it: "my brain switched off". And this proves to be just the start of a downward spiral that continues to the point where Josh plans his own suicide because that seems almost like a positive thing - the one step that he still feels able to take.
At the same time, his mother's career as an author is going from strength to strength. She is loving not only the writing, but the TV and radio appearances and the editing that goes with it. And it's a fact of life - so no criticism whatsoever of Amanda is intended here - that when you're happy, and busy, and someone else tells you "I'm OK", you accept and believe it. But the realisation that Josh is anything but ok and needs - but doesn't necessarily want - her help comes with sudden, brutal and terrifying clarity.
The pain and anguish that Josh feels as his whole world seems to overwhelm him are beautifully and powerfully conveyed. As are Amanda's frustration at being unable to help her son, and guilt at feeling that she is somehow responsible. And that's because they're true. But equally true, and even more powerful, is the love between mother and child, and that shines through every part of the story that they both tell.
My problem now is that absolutely none of what I've written even begins to describe what I was thinking by the time reached the end of the book. It's not the best thing to finish at midnight, that's for sure.
There were some personal points, which I'll come on to. But first I'll say this:
If you're a parent, read this book.
If you're a teenager and in secondary education, read this book.
If you're a teacher, read this book.
If you're in government, or have any influence on school curriculums, read this book. And then add it so that it's essential reading for anyone studying GCSE English. Because ultimately, the images and messages behind a Shakespeare play or a piece of poetry - whilst they may be interesting - probably won't make a fundamental difference to a person's life. This book just might.
One of the real tragedies here is that both Amanda and Josh took so long to recognise his condition for what it was. And if the awareness isn't out there, how could they be expected to have done otherwise? But even when they were aware that Josh had something called "depression", what then?
Tell someone you've cut your finger and they can give you a piece of sticking plaster, or a bandage. Tell them that your friend or relative has got cancer and they'll probably have heard enough about this disease to know that there could be chemotherapy involved, and perhaps an operation to remove the bad bit from your body, if I can put it that way. But if you heard that your friend, or their child, had depression, would you actually have any idea of what to say? I'm not sure I would. Prior to reading this book, I'm not even sure I'd have known what it meant. But if you’ve read it, you’ll have some idea. And perhaps you won’t be stuck for words.
People say "I'm feeling depressed" when they're tired and run down, after a tough day, or week, or longer. But as Josh has so clearly and powerfully explained, his illness was nothing like that.
And finally there's the issue of what, if anything is the underlying cause. Josh - understandably, on the basis of his experience - is very quick to blame universities and the education system, and specifically the fact that there are few if any checks on students apart from their academic achievements. Even if there are helplines available, they are more likely to be staffed by students who doubtlessly have the best of intentions. But who aren't experts.
Personally though, I think the problem is more widespread.
This is where my personal story starts. I won't be offended if you gloss over it, or if you don't feel that some or all of what I say has relevance.
I'm lucky in that I've never been affected by depression in the way that Josh has. It’s not something that I constantly feel that I’m battling. I have never felt suicidal. But there have been two low points in my life that I remember with absolute clarity.
The first was not during my time at university, but after it. The final year in particular was hard work, as coursework and dissertations caused me to discover what it was like to function after four hours sleep for several nights in a row. But I enjoyed what I was doing, so I didn't really mind. Then, without anything like enough of a break, exams came and went, and a few weeks later the results were announced. And then ... that was the end of it all.
I hadn't given a thought over the past year as to what I might do after it had finished. There just hadn't been the time. And now that I had my degree, and didn't want to stay on for a Masters or a PhD, the university simply didn't want to know. I returned to my parents' house - which in itself felt like a step backward given that I'd now learnt how to live independently - with my self-esteem at rock bottom, with no idea what to do with myself and too exhausted to think about it.
Slowly, and with the aid of more than a little bit of blind luck, I managed to recover some of the confidence that I had lost and was able to find a job in a subject that bore some relationship to what I had studied. Like anything, it had its moments. But I stuck at it, got promoted, bought my first house. I felt satisfied, and confident. I felt happy.
And then the financial crash of 2008 happened. Demand dried up almost overnight. And everyone, from colleagues to clients to regulators, who had previously been supportive were suddenly ready to criticise. This isn't satisfactory. Nor is that. This project is taking too long. This price is too expensive. The result for me was that my confidence took knock after knock until I began to feel unable to function in the only career that I knew how to do. A fledging relationship that I was in fell apart. But if I tried to tell anyone that - even close family and friends - the response essentially was "You're lucky to have a job".
Oh, it was dressed up in varying degrees of sympathy. But it was still the same message. Whether I was happy in it didn’t seem to enter anybody’s head.
Eventually - after a great deal of expense and one failed attempt - I got lucky again and managed to find a counsellor whom I could relate to. She suggested, using examples, that I perhaps wasn't as bad at my job as I felt, but that having something else in my life in addition to work might help.
I ended up teaching scuba diving, which I still do and absolutely love it. To witness the transition from someone who is apprehensive at the very thought of breathing under water, to someone who a matter of weeks later has begun to master it and discover that there really is a whole new world down there, gave me back the satisfaction that I had lost from the day job. But if I have one niggle with it, it's this.
The training agency has an awards programme in which it recognises the instructors who certify more than a certain number of students each year. Given that I've never received a certificate, I can only assume that I've never reached that magic number. I can't be sure though because I have no idea how many courses I've taught. I have not looked. I simply couldn't care less.
I like to think that I'd feel the same way if I ever had to choose a school for my child to attend. I'd want to choose based on whether the other kids in the corridors were mostly smiling. On whether the head teacher was friendly. On whether it 'felt' right. And not, even for one minute on where the school had been placed in that year's league table.
And I think that brings me, after rather a long and rambling time - sorry about that - to my point. We live in a society where all of us are judged, in one way or another, on the basis of achievement. Where we live. The house we live in. The job we do. Whether we're married. Whether we have children. Even the car we drive. But how often do we look at anybody, any family, any neighbour, even any friend and think "are they happy"?
I think the answer is "not often". And that's tragic. Because surely 'being happy' should be regarded as the greatest achievement of all.
October 7, 2020
A stunning book written by a mom/son about the young mans struggle with depression - as a mom to a 14 year old son with anxiety and depression, it was an incredible read and gave me so much insight
September 5, 2020
I am a huge fan of Amanda Prowse and all her books, this however is very different.
This book is written by both Amanda and her son Josiah (Josh) Hartley. This book is no story though.
Josh got depression and at aged 19 when recently starting university planned to take his own life.
This book is both Josh’s feelings and memoir of how he felt and how he feels now and what happened and also Amanda’s feelings and how she coped and felt as his mom. How the family was affected.
This book is real, very real and very brave of both Josh and Amanda to put their feelings and thoughts into paper. I know this book will help other families out there who maybe going through similar and also may help people who are lucky enough to have never experienced anything like it to understand a little better what depression really feels like and how it can affect not just the person suffering but also the whole family.
A beautifully written book that’s raw and tells it how it is.
I wish Josh all the best and onwards and upwards to him and also Amanda and the rest of the family for being so brave and supportive and to keep going when I’m sure they were at a total loss.
Xx
August 29, 2020
I have been a long time admirer of Amanda Prowse and the brilliant books she writes, but I never knew of the personal struggle her beloved son Josh was facing with depression. This book is raw and honest told from both Josh and Amanda’s perspectives it really pulled at my heartstrings and made me shed a few tears.
Depression is an illness that seems to be swept under the carpet. This book faces it head on and will be a valuable insight for anyone suffering or their family and friends. One of my closest friend has travelled this journey with her teenage daughter and I could relate to many of the chapters in the book. As mothers we have an inbuilt reflex to try and fix things for our children. We want them to be happy and sometimes we have to realise that this is not something we can change ourselves no matter how much we would love too.
I loved how Josh recorded honestly his feelings, what a brave thing to do. Amanda is such a caring mum which shines through and her husband Simeon was such a rock I’m glad they all had each other. I’m so glad Josh has come out the other side and is improving this will be an inspiration for others.
This is a must read for everyone, we are all touched by mental health issues and the sooner they are acknowledged maybe we can understand them more. I work in a primary school and more young people are presenting themselves with mental health problems. Early intervention does help and books such as this which spark difficult conversations can be such a powerful thing.
Thank you to netgalley and the publishers for my chance to read this insightful and honest book .
Depression is an illness that seems to be swept under the carpet. This book faces it head on and will be a valuable insight for anyone suffering or their family and friends. One of my closest friend has travelled this journey with her teenage daughter and I could relate to many of the chapters in the book. As mothers we have an inbuilt reflex to try and fix things for our children. We want them to be happy and sometimes we have to realise that this is not something we can change ourselves no matter how much we would love too.
I loved how Josh recorded honestly his feelings, what a brave thing to do. Amanda is such a caring mum which shines through and her husband Simeon was such a rock I’m glad they all had each other. I’m so glad Josh has come out the other side and is improving this will be an inspiration for others.
This is a must read for everyone, we are all touched by mental health issues and the sooner they are acknowledged maybe we can understand them more. I work in a primary school and more young people are presenting themselves with mental health problems. Early intervention does help and books such as this which spark difficult conversations can be such a powerful thing.
Thank you to netgalley and the publishers for my chance to read this insightful and honest book .
November 12, 2020
I admire the bravery of Amanda and Josh in writing this book. And I respect the intention of this book. But, having worked as a psychiatric nurse for more than 40 years, I feel a responsibility to make a few comments, which are in no way judgements. The level of incapacitating depression described in this book would warrant hospitalization, even involuntary hospitalization in the US. If suicidal thoughts are present, professional help should be sought. There are many antidepressant medications, in appropriate doses that can be effective, but were not tried in Josh's case. It's so important to find and partner with a competent provider/prescriber. Thank you Amanda and Josh for sharing your story to benefit others.
May 9, 2022
The Boy Between is a collaboration between best-selling author Amanda Prowse and her 23 year old son Josh and is a true account of Josh’s depression, suicide attempts and mental health battle and the debilitating effect it had on his life and his family’s.
When I read true stories, memoirs or biographies I always feel uncomfortable reviewing the book, because this is their story, their truth, their feelings and emotions and who the hell am I to judge or pass comment? Therefore this isn’t a review of the writing, the story, the plotline… it’s about how this book made me feel.
I’m a mother, a wife, a sister, an aunt, a daughter and have also suffered with anxiety and depression for most of my adult life. Whilst I am fortunate enough that the drugs “do work” for me, I am very aware of those times when everything felt grey and a dark cloud of doom was hanging over my head following me from room to room, so reading Josh’s chapters and hearing him describe how the depression took over his life was something I could relate to.
I mentioned that I am a mother, to two young men (age 19 and 22), one of whom is also at University hundreds of miles away from home and started his University life (and first time away from home) right in the middle of the pandemic. We had those phone calls, regularly, for the first 4 weeks, struggling, crying, wanting to come home, feeling alone, isolated with no support from the University whatsoever. As parent’s we didn’t know what to do… make him come home or insist he stays there, fully aware of the statistics of suicide in young men and powerless to do anything due to the Lockdown. So when I was reading Mandy’s side of the side, this was resonating loud and clear because this is exactly what I was going through – the chirpy chats, the constant checking up, the guilt and questioning of my actions and what I thought he needed vs what he actually needed.
This brave and brutally raw look at depression from both sides hit me hard and brought back so many powerful feelings and emotions from 2020. I am so grateful that Josh had the courage and ability to tell us his story warts and all and that Mandy has the connections to ensure that this important message can be shared worldwide.
This is a book for everyone, because we all know someone who struggles with worry, anxiety or life in general, and it’s not always the quiet ones, often it’s the loud ones covering their emotions with fake smiles. Everyone should read this book because the world can be a scary place, but if you know there is someone in your corner, someone who cares and wants to help, it does get easier.
When I read true stories, memoirs or biographies I always feel uncomfortable reviewing the book, because this is their story, their truth, their feelings and emotions and who the hell am I to judge or pass comment? Therefore this isn’t a review of the writing, the story, the plotline… it’s about how this book made me feel.
I’m a mother, a wife, a sister, an aunt, a daughter and have also suffered with anxiety and depression for most of my adult life. Whilst I am fortunate enough that the drugs “do work” for me, I am very aware of those times when everything felt grey and a dark cloud of doom was hanging over my head following me from room to room, so reading Josh’s chapters and hearing him describe how the depression took over his life was something I could relate to.
I mentioned that I am a mother, to two young men (age 19 and 22), one of whom is also at University hundreds of miles away from home and started his University life (and first time away from home) right in the middle of the pandemic. We had those phone calls, regularly, for the first 4 weeks, struggling, crying, wanting to come home, feeling alone, isolated with no support from the University whatsoever. As parent’s we didn’t know what to do… make him come home or insist he stays there, fully aware of the statistics of suicide in young men and powerless to do anything due to the Lockdown. So when I was reading Mandy’s side of the side, this was resonating loud and clear because this is exactly what I was going through – the chirpy chats, the constant checking up, the guilt and questioning of my actions and what I thought he needed vs what he actually needed.
This brave and brutally raw look at depression from both sides hit me hard and brought back so many powerful feelings and emotions from 2020. I am so grateful that Josh had the courage and ability to tell us his story warts and all and that Mandy has the connections to ensure that this important message can be shared worldwide.
This is a book for everyone, because we all know someone who struggles with worry, anxiety or life in general, and it’s not always the quiet ones, often it’s the loud ones covering their emotions with fake smiles. Everyone should read this book because the world can be a scary place, but if you know there is someone in your corner, someone who cares and wants to help, it does get easier.
November 19, 2020
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I loved everything about “The Boy Between” as it was beautiful, emotional, heart-warming, and an eye-opener.
The story grips you from the first page because of the subject manner. Mental illness is a subject that I have always felt is a topic that we do not consider severe compared to other diseases. This book perfectly describes the devastating impact it has on someone and how it impacts the family. Moreover, the authors tell the story from both perspectives that keep it fresh. You can relate to what the mother and the son are individually going through. My heart went out to both Amanda and Josh for everything they went through. The team also paces the plot in a pleasant manner, where you gradually see them going through the various phases.
Moreover, both the mother and the son duo write the story in such a personal manner. By the end of the book, you feel like you have known them for years and can feel the pain and hardship they have endured. I appreciated so many details they added, from sources, references of statistics and examples, and their pictures. On a side note, I did not know anything about Ehlers Danlos Syndrome until I read this novel. So, thank you to the team for educating me on the same.
You can also consider this as a guide book because they also give you tips and helpful tidbits to motivate yourself to get help and connect with people. Overall, “The Boy Between” is a beautiful take that shows the struggle of mental illness. I feel it is a book that everyone should read.
I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book, which I received from the author. All views expressed are only my honest opinion.
November 8, 2020
I would like to thank the author, the publisher and Netgalley for trusting me with an advanced reader copy of this book in exchange for a fair and honest review.
Bestselling novelist Amanda Prowse knew how to resolve a fictional family crisis. But then her son came to her with a real one. In this book, Josiah and Amanda hope to give a voice to those to those who suffer, and to show them that help can be found. It is Josiah raw, at times bleak, sometimes humorous, but always honest account of what it is like to live with depression. It is Amanda’s heart-rending account of her pain at watching him suffer, speaking from the heart about a mother’s love for her child.
To say I enjoyed this book seems wrong as it was a long and emotional journey for both Amanda and Josiah, however, probably enlightened is more accurate. I felt both of their pain throughout. Usually you would get one perspective on living with mental health issues, but I loved how we were told two.
The statement of “unconditional love” is a term used loosely in current day, but the love and respect Amanda had for her son was truly this. It was hard to feel what she is going through and how all she wants is to “fix”, him. Her struggle seems similar to that of Josiah.
Josiah wrote with a stark truth, no holds barred, how his journey with depression affected himself. Talking about suicide is something more prevalent today. It appears in all areas of life. Josiah made me feel his pain, questioned himself and his family, but moreover, his relationship with his mum. He wants to be well for her first and him second which is so selfless and brave.
I feel privileged to have read this book. Despite my working in psychiatric care for 14 years, I feel like this is the most honesty I have ever come across and I learned so much too.
Thank you so much for trusting me with your story.
Bestselling novelist Amanda Prowse knew how to resolve a fictional family crisis. But then her son came to her with a real one. In this book, Josiah and Amanda hope to give a voice to those to those who suffer, and to show them that help can be found. It is Josiah raw, at times bleak, sometimes humorous, but always honest account of what it is like to live with depression. It is Amanda’s heart-rending account of her pain at watching him suffer, speaking from the heart about a mother’s love for her child.
To say I enjoyed this book seems wrong as it was a long and emotional journey for both Amanda and Josiah, however, probably enlightened is more accurate. I felt both of their pain throughout. Usually you would get one perspective on living with mental health issues, but I loved how we were told two.
The statement of “unconditional love” is a term used loosely in current day, but the love and respect Amanda had for her son was truly this. It was hard to feel what she is going through and how all she wants is to “fix”, him. Her struggle seems similar to that of Josiah.
Josiah wrote with a stark truth, no holds barred, how his journey with depression affected himself. Talking about suicide is something more prevalent today. It appears in all areas of life. Josiah made me feel his pain, questioned himself and his family, but moreover, his relationship with his mum. He wants to be well for her first and him second which is so selfless and brave.
I feel privileged to have read this book. Despite my working in psychiatric care for 14 years, I feel like this is the most honesty I have ever come across and I learned so much too.
Thank you so much for trusting me with your story.
December 26, 2020
This isn’t something that I would usually read, but was so glad I picked up a copy.
This is a real raw account of the turmoil families go through watching helplessly when a loved one suffers from mental illness.
A powerful story written beautifully covers the depths of depression experienced by Josh and his mothers attempts of trying everything in her power to help him.
I would urge anyone with teenagers to read this book, I have learnt so much especially not having any experience with mental health or depression previously.
This has definitely made an impact on me as a parent and a person. Thank you Amanda & Josh.
This is a real raw account of the turmoil families go through watching helplessly when a loved one suffers from mental illness.
A powerful story written beautifully covers the depths of depression experienced by Josh and his mothers attempts of trying everything in her power to help him.
I would urge anyone with teenagers to read this book, I have learnt so much especially not having any experience with mental health or depression previously.
This has definitely made an impact on me as a parent and a person. Thank you Amanda & Josh.
December 3, 2020
I thoroughly enjoyed this book about a mother and son’s experience with severe depression. The mother is author Amanda Prowse. I haven’t read any of her books yet, but I plan to now. And, her son is Josh who is struck with severe depression in his teens. I really liked the way the book alternated between a chapter with Josh’s first-hand account of how he was feeling and then the next chapter would be from Amanda’s point of view. Their story was heart-breaking as well as heartwarming. Highly recommended especially if you would like to know more about severe depression.
February 1, 2021
Open Honesty about a Journey of Depression
So real- and it was/is - from the point of views of Josiah’s experience from within, and his mom’s from without. Poignant insights to the reality of the disease of depression and how it can take hold and take over. Thankful for the openness and honesty of their experiences.
So real- and it was/is - from the point of views of Josiah’s experience from within, and his mom’s from without. Poignant insights to the reality of the disease of depression and how it can take hold and take over. Thankful for the openness and honesty of their experiences.
November 5, 2020
This is non-fiction a true story about a family struggling with Mental Health at a time when it still had a stigma attached. It still does today but at the time of this story it was much worse. Despite the progress some of the standard reactions to it still exist.
I am no stranger to mental health my mother had a complete nervous breakdown when I was 16 I remember that time, those days as though it was yesterday. Even so reading this book was very eye-opening. Tragic to think that at a different time this story would have had a very different ending.
The effect on family members of someone with depression is all encompassing and that came accross brilliantly in this story.
Told from Amanda and Josh's point of view the reader has a fly on the wall view of how depression affects not only the sufferer but also the parents, siblings. Any parents worse nightmare is for a child to have an illness they cant make better and that inability to 'fix' their child is something that eats away slowly and surely wearing the person down. Again this is something that came accross brilliantly.
I breathed a sigh of relief when at last there was a very small light at the end of the very long tunnel.
A heartbreaking story but one I am so very pleased to have read. Thank you so much to Sarah at Book on the Bright Side Publicity and the author for inviting me on the tour.
I am no stranger to mental health my mother had a complete nervous breakdown when I was 16 I remember that time, those days as though it was yesterday. Even so reading this book was very eye-opening. Tragic to think that at a different time this story would have had a very different ending.
The effect on family members of someone with depression is all encompassing and that came accross brilliantly in this story.
Told from Amanda and Josh's point of view the reader has a fly on the wall view of how depression affects not only the sufferer but also the parents, siblings. Any parents worse nightmare is for a child to have an illness they cant make better and that inability to 'fix' their child is something that eats away slowly and surely wearing the person down. Again this is something that came accross brilliantly.
I breathed a sigh of relief when at last there was a very small light at the end of the very long tunnel.
A heartbreaking story but one I am so very pleased to have read. Thank you so much to Sarah at Book on the Bright Side Publicity and the author for inviting me on the tour.
November 16, 2020
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DISCLAIMER : Thank you, Netgalley and Amazon Publishing UK for providing me with an ARC of this book. I am leaving this review voluntarily.
The Boy Between by Josiah Hartley and Amanda Prowse is an emotional and a brutally honest portrayal of their journey through Josiah's depression. I have never read an Amanda Prowse book. I have seen her name before, but I haven't gotten around to her books yet. When I saw this title, I was intrigued, and I wanted to know more about their journey and experience regarding depression. I have struggled with it and trying to not let depression or darkness rule your life is a daily struggle. Reading this, I can see the different perspectives and also understand what goes through a person's mind when they are battling their inner demons. I want to congratulate Josiah for being open and honest about his experiences. Being courageous enough to open up about one's inner turmoil is not easy and I pray he finds peace and serenity in life.
The book is written in alternating chapters of Josh and Amanda's perspectives. They talk about the different events in life and how they dealt with it. Their stories were heartbreaking, with the individual struggle at the forefront and the ill-equipped family's persistence to make Josh better. Reading their experiences I could relate to their pain and frustration. Also, Josh's struggle in surviving and living was heart wrenching to read about. I could see the patterns and habits that were making things difficult for him. The story is emotional, and I had a hard time reading it. At times the emotions were too much for me, and at times I couldn't put it down either. It is a very important book that needs to be read by parents and children alike to see and hear things from the perspective of someone who is battling depression daily. I believe this book is paramount in bringing awareness and understanding of what is going through their minds. And it can also change the cultural stigma attached to mental illness and mental health.
Overall, this book was an amazing read. It was a compelling read. The writing is good, and it engages with you from the very first page. I gave the book 5 stars. While at times it was heartbreaking and emotional, I also loved the openness, and direct approach both of them took in telling their stories. If you are looking for books that talk about mental health and depression I highly recommend reading this book. In my opinion, this book should be read by everyone, period!
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DISCLAIMER : Thank you, Netgalley and Amazon Publishing UK for providing me with an ARC of this book. I am leaving this review voluntarily.
The Boy Between by Josiah Hartley and Amanda Prowse is an emotional and a brutally honest portrayal of their journey through Josiah's depression. I have never read an Amanda Prowse book. I have seen her name before, but I haven't gotten around to her books yet. When I saw this title, I was intrigued, and I wanted to know more about their journey and experience regarding depression. I have struggled with it and trying to not let depression or darkness rule your life is a daily struggle. Reading this, I can see the different perspectives and also understand what goes through a person's mind when they are battling their inner demons. I want to congratulate Josiah for being open and honest about his experiences. Being courageous enough to open up about one's inner turmoil is not easy and I pray he finds peace and serenity in life.
The book is written in alternating chapters of Josh and Amanda's perspectives. They talk about the different events in life and how they dealt with it. Their stories were heartbreaking, with the individual struggle at the forefront and the ill-equipped family's persistence to make Josh better. Reading their experiences I could relate to their pain and frustration. Also, Josh's struggle in surviving and living was heart wrenching to read about. I could see the patterns and habits that were making things difficult for him. The story is emotional, and I had a hard time reading it. At times the emotions were too much for me, and at times I couldn't put it down either. It is a very important book that needs to be read by parents and children alike to see and hear things from the perspective of someone who is battling depression daily. I believe this book is paramount in bringing awareness and understanding of what is going through their minds. And it can also change the cultural stigma attached to mental illness and mental health.
Overall, this book was an amazing read. It was a compelling read. The writing is good, and it engages with you from the very first page. I gave the book 5 stars. While at times it was heartbreaking and emotional, I also loved the openness, and direct approach both of them took in telling their stories. If you are looking for books that talk about mental health and depression I highly recommend reading this book. In my opinion, this book should be read by everyone, period!
October 19, 2020
Josiah Hartley was nineteen years old, with his whole life ahead of him, he'd just started university when he was hit with depression and his mental health spiralled so dangerously low that he planned to take his own life. Amanda Prowse is a very well known and loved author, whose best selling fictional work is outstanding, writing about subjects that are very close to home with many of her readers, but this latest book is not fiction and Josiah, or Joshy as he's affectionately known, is not a character in one of her books, he is her son and the most important person in her life, so when his world begins to crumble it's not surprising that hers does too.
Josiah and Amanda have come together to write this book, to highlight the importance of mental health and how they fought through it, with the help of Simeon and the rest of their family, showing what it was like to live with depression, from both Josiah's and Amanda's perspectives in alternate chapters. Josh narrates his story with frankness and honesty, Amanda's story is full of heartache and pain as she tries to do what's best for her boy. I struggled to read this book, not because I don't normally read true stories, but because I couldn't see the pages through the tears that continually fell throughout this heart wrenching read. It's a total eye opener to what depression is all about, an illness that many of us are ignorant to the extent of its effect and guilty of not taking it seriously enough.
Josh, you are such a brave man, to put what you have gone through down on paper and share it with the world, I truly hope you continue to fight this illness, I'm sure with the help of your wonderful family and friends you will, and live a long and happy life. Amanda, I applaud both you and Simeon for the strength and love you've always shown your family, especially during these difficult times, I felt your pain as any parent would. I believe everyone should read your story, it would benefit so many people to know that they really are not alone. This one will stay with me for a long time to come.
I'd like to thank Amazon Publishing and Netgalley for the approval. I will post my review on Goodreads now and Amazon on publication day.
Josiah and Amanda have come together to write this book, to highlight the importance of mental health and how they fought through it, with the help of Simeon and the rest of their family, showing what it was like to live with depression, from both Josiah's and Amanda's perspectives in alternate chapters. Josh narrates his story with frankness and honesty, Amanda's story is full of heartache and pain as she tries to do what's best for her boy. I struggled to read this book, not because I don't normally read true stories, but because I couldn't see the pages through the tears that continually fell throughout this heart wrenching read. It's a total eye opener to what depression is all about, an illness that many of us are ignorant to the extent of its effect and guilty of not taking it seriously enough.
Josh, you are such a brave man, to put what you have gone through down on paper and share it with the world, I truly hope you continue to fight this illness, I'm sure with the help of your wonderful family and friends you will, and live a long and happy life. Amanda, I applaud both you and Simeon for the strength and love you've always shown your family, especially during these difficult times, I felt your pain as any parent would. I believe everyone should read your story, it would benefit so many people to know that they really are not alone. This one will stay with me for a long time to come.
I'd like to thank Amazon Publishing and Netgalley for the approval. I will post my review on Goodreads now and Amazon on publication day.
May 30, 2021
It’s a while since I’ve read non-fiction but when I heard author, Amanda Prowse and her son, Josiah Hartley, speak so movingly and honestly about Josiah’s struggle with depression, I knew I would share The Boy Between.
This is not a self-help book, or a how-to-beat depression manual, instead it is simply Josiah’s story about what it felt like to be consumed by depression and his journey to managing his mental health. In Josiah’s words ‘Depression came along like a wall of water that knocked me off my feet… Each time a wave hit, I scrabbled to my feet, only for another wave, larger than the first, to smack me back down to the ground.’ (TRIGGER WARNING: Josiah hit rock bottom and was desperate for escape) But it’s also his mum’s story, about how lonely and isolating it can feel when trying to support someone battling mental health issues. Not knowing what to say or do, not knowing where to turn for help.
A part of me hopes that no one reading needs this book, but I’m not that naïve. The past year has been a hard one, and if Josiah, and his mum, sharing their stories helps just one person, then Josiah’s bravery in opening up will have been worth it. The Boy Between may bring comfort and hope to anyone struggling with mental health, or to someone offering support.
This is not a self-help book, or a how-to-beat depression manual, instead it is simply Josiah’s story about what it felt like to be consumed by depression and his journey to managing his mental health. In Josiah’s words ‘Depression came along like a wall of water that knocked me off my feet… Each time a wave hit, I scrabbled to my feet, only for another wave, larger than the first, to smack me back down to the ground.’ (TRIGGER WARNING: Josiah hit rock bottom and was desperate for escape) But it’s also his mum’s story, about how lonely and isolating it can feel when trying to support someone battling mental health issues. Not knowing what to say or do, not knowing where to turn for help.
A part of me hopes that no one reading needs this book, but I’m not that naïve. The past year has been a hard one, and if Josiah, and his mum, sharing their stories helps just one person, then Josiah’s bravery in opening up will have been worth it. The Boy Between may bring comfort and hope to anyone struggling with mental health, or to someone offering support.
October 12, 2020
I’ve read some great books on depression. But for me, this account is so powerful and really expanded my understanding. This is the most specific, real narrative of dealing day-to-day with depression that I’ve ever come across. Both perspectives (Josh and his mum Mandy) are enlightening in their individual ways. Josh describes his account in a way that helped me understand, for the first time, what some of the symptoms really look like. And why those of us offering to help, in the ways non-depressed people think, is so very off and ultimately meaningless and insignificant. That may sound discouraging but I actually found it to be the opposite. After reading this, I feel like I am more capable and better equipped to recognize the signs and symptoms even if the person is lying or trying to hide them. As a non-depressed person with depressed people in my life, I’ve always struggled to make sense of things. Everything else I’ve read to this point, feels more like a list of symptoms. This felt like I got it.
November 13, 2020
Thank you Iread Book Tours for a complimentary copy. I voluntarily reviewed this book. All opinions expressed are my own.
The Boy Between
By: Josiah Hartley, Amanda Prowse
REVIEW ☆☆☆☆
Depression has been a companion of mine since high school and continues to be to this day, in my forties. I always felt like I needed to apologize for being depressed, as if I were intentionally acting this way for attention or something. In reality, however, I was diagnosed by an actual doctor with clinical depression, then severe post partum depression twice, then clinical depression again, and the cycle never ends. The thing about The Boy Between is that it validates depression. Many people still don't believe it's a real condition. Tell that to the anti depressants I take every day.
Like I said, I used to apologize for being sad all the time, but I don't do that anymore. Would I apologize for being diabetic, etc.? My tolerance for stupidity now is zero. People need to educate themselves. As this book shows, depression affects everyone around the sick person. I appreciate the honest accounting of this horrible condition by a mother and son. The feelings here are real and sharp as a knife. If you suffer from depression or know someone who does, The Boy Between is a good resource to have on hand. Ask for help if you need it. Give help where you can. Read this book to learn more about depression and how to survive it.
The Boy Between
By: Josiah Hartley, Amanda Prowse
REVIEW ☆☆☆☆
Depression has been a companion of mine since high school and continues to be to this day, in my forties. I always felt like I needed to apologize for being depressed, as if I were intentionally acting this way for attention or something. In reality, however, I was diagnosed by an actual doctor with clinical depression, then severe post partum depression twice, then clinical depression again, and the cycle never ends. The thing about The Boy Between is that it validates depression. Many people still don't believe it's a real condition. Tell that to the anti depressants I take every day.
Like I said, I used to apologize for being sad all the time, but I don't do that anymore. Would I apologize for being diabetic, etc.? My tolerance for stupidity now is zero. People need to educate themselves. As this book shows, depression affects everyone around the sick person. I appreciate the honest accounting of this horrible condition by a mother and son. The feelings here are real and sharp as a knife. If you suffer from depression or know someone who does, The Boy Between is a good resource to have on hand. Ask for help if you need it. Give help where you can. Read this book to learn more about depression and how to survive it.
April 23, 2022
“Your normal is your normal”
Who defines what is normal? We all do. We all have our own idea of what is normal. The one problem is that my normal is different to your normal. Josh’s normal decided to redefine itself overnight and it was a rocky road for him, his family and his friends to travel to understand this new normal. Not just understand it but to help and support Josh as he finds another new normal that wasn’t so grey.
Just reading Amanda’s introduction made me feel emotional, I read with tears falling from my eyes. Not only as a mum who wants to protect her children but also as someone who has struggled (and still does to an extent) with stress and anxiety, particularly over the past couple of years. Something resonated with me. I knew before I started, I was in for an emotional read but didn’t expect it so early in my journey with this mother and son.
And it wasn’t just the introduction that got to me. Little anecdotes and statements tugged my emotional strings like anything. At times I was overwhelmed with emotion that I had to put my kindle down to compose myself – I couldn’t read with tears in my eyes!
“He in fact is one of the reasons that I didn’t take my own life. I hope he knows this.”
The two authors have very distinct voices with Josh’s raw honest feelings and Amanda’s maternal worries. I definitely identified with Amanda’s anxiety about being a working mum. But she also made me think about my actions as a mother. Was I preconditioned from my upbringing as to what was perceived to be important? It made me reflect on what’s important for my sons.
“It feels important to say that everyone’s depression journey is different and there is no one-size-fits-all treatment or solution.”
This is not a book to skim read. It’s one to savour, to learn from, even if your own world hasn’t gone grey, you’re likely to know someone whose has, whether you know not or not. This is a very sombre, heart breaking, thought provoking and hard book to read. It’s not something I can say I enjoyed as that’s not the right word at all but I can see it being a read that’ll stay with me and I’ll come back to. If you’ve ever been touched by the dark monster of depression, or if you haven’t, this book is a must read. Mental illness is not to be dismissed.
Who defines what is normal? We all do. We all have our own idea of what is normal. The one problem is that my normal is different to your normal. Josh’s normal decided to redefine itself overnight and it was a rocky road for him, his family and his friends to travel to understand this new normal. Not just understand it but to help and support Josh as he finds another new normal that wasn’t so grey.
Just reading Amanda’s introduction made me feel emotional, I read with tears falling from my eyes. Not only as a mum who wants to protect her children but also as someone who has struggled (and still does to an extent) with stress and anxiety, particularly over the past couple of years. Something resonated with me. I knew before I started, I was in for an emotional read but didn’t expect it so early in my journey with this mother and son.
And it wasn’t just the introduction that got to me. Little anecdotes and statements tugged my emotional strings like anything. At times I was overwhelmed with emotion that I had to put my kindle down to compose myself – I couldn’t read with tears in my eyes!
“He in fact is one of the reasons that I didn’t take my own life. I hope he knows this.”
The two authors have very distinct voices with Josh’s raw honest feelings and Amanda’s maternal worries. I definitely identified with Amanda’s anxiety about being a working mum. But she also made me think about my actions as a mother. Was I preconditioned from my upbringing as to what was perceived to be important? It made me reflect on what’s important for my sons.
“It feels important to say that everyone’s depression journey is different and there is no one-size-fits-all treatment or solution.”
This is not a book to skim read. It’s one to savour, to learn from, even if your own world hasn’t gone grey, you’re likely to know someone whose has, whether you know not or not. This is a very sombre, heart breaking, thought provoking and hard book to read. It’s not something I can say I enjoyed as that’s not the right word at all but I can see it being a read that’ll stay with me and I’ll come back to. If you’ve ever been touched by the dark monster of depression, or if you haven’t, this book is a must read. Mental illness is not to be dismissed.
August 15, 2021
I think every mother or anyone who has witnessed anyone in depression can see themselves in this book. It’s a harrowing tale of a son’s journey through depression. The last chapter, written by Josiah, is fantastic….it really sums everything up so well. The bit that resonated with me is the bit about depression is not just feeling a bit fed up with life. His comments about university and social media are so true. A beautifully written and heart breaking and heart wrenching book.
December 6, 2020
An honest, in-depth, look into a family dealing with depression.
March 6, 2022
I’m not normally one to write a review but felt compelled after reading this.
What Josh has gone through is awful and I don’t want to detract from that. However I find it concerning that this has been advertised as a journey that ‘they’ (Josh, not his mum, despite what she claims several times) have gone through and one that can bring advice and hope to others in a similar situation. This is not the book for this, please read Matt Haig’s book - Reasons to Stay Alive. That is a hopeful book with practical advice and guidance solely from the point of view of the person who has gone through this.
My issue with this book is they talk about wanting to end shame around mental health but mention several times how they don’t want him taking medication to assist with this or being on them long term. Despite them explaining how Josh has been told there are endless medications and doses that they could work through until they find one that works for him. SO many people take anti-depressants to help manage their mental health and live fulfilling lives. I feel they haven’t talked enough about the positive impact of medication and instead just said he didn’t want to take it anymore. However from what was discussed Josh tried no other real way of improving his mental health other than the occasion visit (once or twice from the sounds of it) to a psychologist which seemed to go well so why was he not made to continue this to help him recover? I understand he was in a really dark place but to take no steps to improve on this until he sees the impact on his parents when his step dad cries (apparently his mother’s tears which he sees frequently don’t mean as much?) when he then miraculously is able to take positive action to improve his mental health doesn’t seem like an example that should be shared or promoted as this is not helpful for others to see.
There are so many different charities and resources available (especially to people with the means that his parents have), not even starting on actual mental health services that can be accessed via the NHS in the UK that could help to improve his mental health especially at the point when he is a risk to himself. Which really makes me question why he did not access specialist mental health services or why his parents did not request access to this? Instead they let him lie on his bed depressed for months / sent him back off to uni a week after trying to kill himself?! I understand not everyone is a mental health expert but that blew my mind that they thought they were good decisions.
In the UK if you call your GP and tell them you are feeling suicidal they will give you a same day appointment to support you with this and look at assessing if you need to be referred to specialist mental health services? I don’t feel the possible options for recover were explored at all.
Reading this book you would think that the answer is to do nothing and 6 years later you will feel a bit better? Great. If the mum wasn’t an author I don’t think this would have been published, I also found myself zoning out of Amanda’s chapters.I’m not interested in mum’s point of view, she loves her son , great that won’t stop him feeling suicidal I’m afraid.
What Josh has gone through is awful and I don’t want to detract from that. However I find it concerning that this has been advertised as a journey that ‘they’ (Josh, not his mum, despite what she claims several times) have gone through and one that can bring advice and hope to others in a similar situation. This is not the book for this, please read Matt Haig’s book - Reasons to Stay Alive. That is a hopeful book with practical advice and guidance solely from the point of view of the person who has gone through this.
My issue with this book is they talk about wanting to end shame around mental health but mention several times how they don’t want him taking medication to assist with this or being on them long term. Despite them explaining how Josh has been told there are endless medications and doses that they could work through until they find one that works for him. SO many people take anti-depressants to help manage their mental health and live fulfilling lives. I feel they haven’t talked enough about the positive impact of medication and instead just said he didn’t want to take it anymore. However from what was discussed Josh tried no other real way of improving his mental health other than the occasion visit (once or twice from the sounds of it) to a psychologist which seemed to go well so why was he not made to continue this to help him recover? I understand he was in a really dark place but to take no steps to improve on this until he sees the impact on his parents when his step dad cries (apparently his mother’s tears which he sees frequently don’t mean as much?) when he then miraculously is able to take positive action to improve his mental health doesn’t seem like an example that should be shared or promoted as this is not helpful for others to see.
There are so many different charities and resources available (especially to people with the means that his parents have), not even starting on actual mental health services that can be accessed via the NHS in the UK that could help to improve his mental health especially at the point when he is a risk to himself. Which really makes me question why he did not access specialist mental health services or why his parents did not request access to this? Instead they let him lie on his bed depressed for months / sent him back off to uni a week after trying to kill himself?! I understand not everyone is a mental health expert but that blew my mind that they thought they were good decisions.
In the UK if you call your GP and tell them you are feeling suicidal they will give you a same day appointment to support you with this and look at assessing if you need to be referred to specialist mental health services? I don’t feel the possible options for recover were explored at all.
Reading this book you would think that the answer is to do nothing and 6 years later you will feel a bit better? Great. If the mum wasn’t an author I don’t think this would have been published, I also found myself zoning out of Amanda’s chapters.I’m not interested in mum’s point of view, she loves her son , great that won’t stop him feeling suicidal I’m afraid.
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