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Behaving Ourselves
Behaving Ourselves
David Mitchell on Manners
David Mitchell, David Mitchell (Read by)
David Mitchell sets out on a vigorous but impeccably polite investigation into the confusing world of manners. Are they really in decline, as many would have us believe? Or are we just throwing off the shackles of the Victorian obsession with etiquette?
Over the course of the series, David eats his lunchtime sandwiches with children in a primary school, and later goes to a street market to see manners - good and bad - in action. He explores where our manners come from with Professors Steven Pinker from Harvard University and the author Henry Hitchings. What do we mean by 'civility' and 'good manners' in public places? Why are people still pinching vicars' bottoms, and what can the state do to improve standards of public behaviour? And, David asks, how is the digital age changing our sense of public space?
Produced by Chris Ledgard.
David Mitchell on Manners
David Mitchell, David Mitchell (Read by)
David Mitchell sets out on a vigorous but impeccably polite investigation into the confusing world of manners. Are they really in decline, as many would have us believe? Or are we just throwing off the shackles of the Victorian obsession with etiquette?
Over the course of the series, David eats his lunchtime sandwiches with children in a primary school, and later goes to a street market to see manners - good and bad - in action. He explores where our manners come from with Professors Steven Pinker from Harvard University and the author Henry Hitchings. What do we mean by 'civility' and 'good manners' in public places? Why are people still pinching vicars' bottoms, and what can the state do to improve standards of public behaviour? And, David asks, how is the digital age changing our sense of public space?
Produced by Chris Ledgard.
- GenresNonfictionAudiobookHumor
Audiobook
Published October 4, 2018
1 person is currently reading
152 people want to read
About the author
David Mitchell
68 books990 followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.
David Mitchell is a British actor, comedian and writer. He is one half of the comedic duo Mitchell and Webb, alongside Robert Webb, whom he met at Cambridge University. There they were both part of the Cambridge Footlights, of which Mitchell became President. Together the duo starred in the Channel 4 sitcom Peep Show in which Mitchell plays Mark Corrigan. The show received a BAFTA and won three British Comedy Awards, while Mitchell won the award for Best Comedy Performance in 2009. The duo have written and starred in several sketch shows including The Mitchell and Webb Situation, That Mitchell and Webb Sound and most recently That Mitchell and Webb Look. Mitchell and Webb also star in the UK version of Apple's Get a Mac advertisement campaign. Their first film, Magicians, in which Mitchell plays traditional magician Harry, was released on 18 May 2007.
On his own, Mitchell has played Dr James Vine in the BBC1 sitcom Jam & Jerusalem and Tim in the one-off ShakespeaRe-Told adaptation of The Taming of the Shrew. He also is a frequent participant on British panel shows, including QI, Mock the Week and Have I Got News for You, as well as Best of the Worst and Would I Lie to You? on each of which he is a team captain, and The Unbelievable Truth which he hosts. Regarding his personal life, Mitchell considers himself a "worrier" and lives in a flat in Kilburn.
Author biography and photograph obtained from Wikipedia.
David Mitchell is a British actor, comedian and writer. He is one half of the comedic duo Mitchell and Webb, alongside Robert Webb, whom he met at Cambridge University. There they were both part of the Cambridge Footlights, of which Mitchell became President. Together the duo starred in the Channel 4 sitcom Peep Show in which Mitchell plays Mark Corrigan. The show received a BAFTA and won three British Comedy Awards, while Mitchell won the award for Best Comedy Performance in 2009. The duo have written and starred in several sketch shows including The Mitchell and Webb Situation, That Mitchell and Webb Sound and most recently That Mitchell and Webb Look. Mitchell and Webb also star in the UK version of Apple's Get a Mac advertisement campaign. Their first film, Magicians, in which Mitchell plays traditional magician Harry, was released on 18 May 2007.
On his own, Mitchell has played Dr James Vine in the BBC1 sitcom Jam & Jerusalem and Tim in the one-off ShakespeaRe-Told adaptation of The Taming of the Shrew. He also is a frequent participant on British panel shows, including QI, Mock the Week and Have I Got News for You, as well as Best of the Worst and Would I Lie to You? on each of which he is a team captain, and The Unbelievable Truth which he hosts. Regarding his personal life, Mitchell considers himself a "worrier" and lives in a flat in Kilburn.
Author biography and photograph obtained from Wikipedia.
Ratings & Reviews
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
November 26, 2025
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I'm so so sorry I've arrived late to our scheduled audiobook review. Here you are, kindly waiting around, while I'm squandering your time writing ellipses, when you just want to get on with reading the review.
Well now I've apologised, and hopefully I've preempted what you're presumably upset about, so hopefully that's taken the sting out of that.
So, why manners? Why do we, collectively, bother with them? That's a good question you're asking there, and the short answer is that, as a society, social norms can help pave the way to social cohesion, YOU BLUNDERING IDIOT.
Gosh, sorry, don't know what came over me there.
Yes, so who decides on manners? Well, yes, there's a bit of background on that in the book.
Are manners getting wor-- sorry bear with me a second, I've just... There. Okay. I've replied to that message and--
Golly, mind if I just take this call? I'll be right back.
-- yeah, yeah, sorry, I'm in the middle of writing a review, I'll call you right back. Pardon? Who's reading it? That ugly one, you know, was telling you about them the other day. Yeah, I'll call you back --
Sorry, where was I? Yes, are manners getting worse? Good question. Well, people have been commenting on waning standards of manners for generations, we've just got a set of essentially new ways of communicating now, so some social norms aren't quite there yet. So I guess it's plausible that some forms of communication are in their infancy in terms of how manners are deployed there. Sorry? WELL YES, YOU WOULD THINK MANNERS ARE GETTING WORSE, WOULDN'T YOU, YOU FATALIST, YOU RUDDY WELL THINK ALL YOUNG PEOPLE HAVE NO RESPECT!
UR ALL THE SAME YOU PEOPLE U COMMIE YOU YOUNG PERSON YOU LEFT-LEANING HYPOCRITE YOU RIGHT WING NUTTER YOU (OXY)MORON, YOU DISTURBINGLY CONVINCING ARGUMENT AGAINST EVOLUTION UV SIPPED YOUR LATTES WHILST U COMPLAIN NO ONE NOES HOW TO SPELL ANYMORE AND NO ONE NOES HOW TO USE PUNCTUATION ANYMORE THE INTERNET IS PACKED FULL OF PEOPLE WITH NO RESPECT WHO ALL THE WHILE LISTEN TO THEIR PODCASTS AND WHATNOT WHILE SCREAMING INTO THE VOID THAT OLD PEOPLE NEED TO STOP OWNING SO MANY HOMES WHILE THEY'RE COMPLAINING RESPECTIVELY THAT YOUNG PEOPLE NEED TO STOP BEING LAZY MEANWHILE WE'RE ALL WATCHING MIND NUMBING VIDEOS, TO DISTRACT US FROM THE WORLD AROUND US
...GOSH, IS THAT WHAT YOU WORE WHILE READING THIS, HAVE YOU NO RESPECT, NO DECORUM, NO SARTORIAL ELEGANCE??!
WHILE I HAVE YOU, THOSE SCONES YOU MAKE: ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING. EVERY TIME YOU UNLEASH THAT PARTICULAR TRAVESTY OF CULINARY HORROR UNTO AN UNWITTING WORLD, YOU LOWER THE AVERAGE HAPPINESS OF THE WORLD A FEW NOTCHES, I'M DOING SOCIETY A FAVOUR BY TELLING YOU NOW, YOU MUST STOP.
(No no, I'm not going to introduce swearing into this, as I currently feel, smugly, that eschewing that particular indulgence sets me apart from the unwashed masses.)
---
Phew, now I've gotten all that out. Don't you think MAYBE manners are worth all the bother after all? Even if those scones you make are a bit yucky, maybe I better keep that to myself? And maybe a little more kindness on the internet and so on mightn't go astray?
I enjoyed this short audiobook which looks into manners - why bother with them, whether they're getting worse, their history, differing standards in differing contexts, etc. There is occasional focus specifically on British manners.
...
...
...
I'm so so sorry I've arrived late to our scheduled audiobook review. Here you are, kindly waiting around, while I'm squandering your time writing ellipses, when you just want to get on with reading the review.
Well now I've apologised, and hopefully I've preempted what you're presumably upset about, so hopefully that's taken the sting out of that.
So, why manners? Why do we, collectively, bother with them? That's a good question you're asking there, and the short answer is that, as a society, social norms can help pave the way to social cohesion, YOU BLUNDERING IDIOT.
Gosh, sorry, don't know what came over me there.
Yes, so who decides on manners? Well, yes, there's a bit of background on that in the book.
Are manners getting wor-- sorry bear with me a second, I've just... There. Okay. I've replied to that message and--
Golly, mind if I just take this call? I'll be right back.
-- yeah, yeah, sorry, I'm in the middle of writing a review, I'll call you right back. Pardon? Who's reading it? That ugly one, you know, was telling you about them the other day. Yeah, I'll call you back --
Sorry, where was I? Yes, are manners getting worse? Good question. Well, people have been commenting on waning standards of manners for generations, we've just got a set of essentially new ways of communicating now, so some social norms aren't quite there yet. So I guess it's plausible that some forms of communication are in their infancy in terms of how manners are deployed there. Sorry? WELL YES, YOU WOULD THINK MANNERS ARE GETTING WORSE, WOULDN'T YOU, YOU FATALIST, YOU RUDDY WELL THINK ALL YOUNG PEOPLE HAVE NO RESPECT!
UR ALL THE SAME YOU PEOPLE U COMMIE YOU YOUNG PERSON YOU LEFT-LEANING HYPOCRITE YOU RIGHT WING NUTTER YOU (OXY)MORON, YOU DISTURBINGLY CONVINCING ARGUMENT AGAINST EVOLUTION UV SIPPED YOUR LATTES WHILST U COMPLAIN NO ONE NOES HOW TO SPELL ANYMORE AND NO ONE NOES HOW TO USE PUNCTUATION ANYMORE THE INTERNET IS PACKED FULL OF PEOPLE WITH NO RESPECT WHO ALL THE WHILE LISTEN TO THEIR PODCASTS AND WHATNOT WHILE SCREAMING INTO THE VOID THAT OLD PEOPLE NEED TO STOP OWNING SO MANY HOMES WHILE THEY'RE COMPLAINING RESPECTIVELY THAT YOUNG PEOPLE NEED TO STOP BEING LAZY MEANWHILE WE'RE ALL WATCHING MIND NUMBING VIDEOS, TO DISTRACT US FROM THE WORLD AROUND US
...GOSH, IS THAT WHAT YOU WORE WHILE READING THIS, HAVE YOU NO RESPECT, NO DECORUM, NO SARTORIAL ELEGANCE??!
WHILE I HAVE YOU, THOSE SCONES YOU MAKE: ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING. EVERY TIME YOU UNLEASH THAT PARTICULAR TRAVESTY OF CULINARY HORROR UNTO AN UNWITTING WORLD, YOU LOWER THE AVERAGE HAPPINESS OF THE WORLD A FEW NOTCHES, I'M DOING SOCIETY A FAVOUR BY TELLING YOU NOW, YOU MUST STOP.
(No no, I'm not going to introduce swearing into this, as I currently feel, smugly, that eschewing that particular indulgence sets me apart from the unwashed masses.)
---
Phew, now I've gotten all that out. Don't you think MAYBE manners are worth all the bother after all? Even if those scones you make are a bit yucky, maybe I better keep that to myself? And maybe a little more kindness on the internet and so on mightn't go astray?
I enjoyed this short audiobook which looks into manners - why bother with them, whether they're getting worse, their history, differing standards in differing contexts, etc. There is occasional focus specifically on British manners.
April 5, 2020
Fun and lighthearted. You won't find anything profound in Behaving Ourselves, but provides a bit of humour while relaxing on a kayak fishing. Mitchell spends most of the time interviewing people about manners and *gasp* how they are not what they used to be. Country clubs allowing blue jeans? The nerve! I did however learn a new social norm. Apparently if you are in a group, you are only allowed to look at your phone if three or more people are currently in conversation. Now I know.
November 21, 2024
Behaving ourselves is a short book where David Mitchell investigates manners, where they come from and how they are changing. He interviews diplomats, golf club members, market stall holders etc and concludes that manners are forever changing according to the latest public ideal. Some people feel that this is right and necessary to reflect the modern world whereas others want a world where we all know our place and act accordingly.
David did point out some issues with the modern flexible systems for example men knowing how to dress in a semi social semi business situation where it can be as much an issue dressing too smart as it can dressing too casually. My personal system is to dress slightly too smart but be able to quickly change it if you realise everyone else is more casual for example if wearing a shirt and a tie is easy to remove the tie if everyone is casual but wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt when everyone else is wearing suit and tie is very difficult.
I think the book was a little too short to really get into the history and investigate the pros and cons and I would have liked to hear more of David Mitchells investigation.
A great little, short book, I “read” it via audible and it was a nice little book to listen to on the move without it taking six months to listen to.
David did point out some issues with the modern flexible systems for example men knowing how to dress in a semi social semi business situation where it can be as much an issue dressing too smart as it can dressing too casually. My personal system is to dress slightly too smart but be able to quickly change it if you realise everyone else is more casual for example if wearing a shirt and a tie is easy to remove the tie if everyone is casual but wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt when everyone else is wearing suit and tie is very difficult.
I think the book was a little too short to really get into the history and investigate the pros and cons and I would have liked to hear more of David Mitchells investigation.
A great little, short book, I “read” it via audible and it was a nice little book to listen to on the move without it taking six months to listen to.
November 10, 2020
Reflections and lessons learned:
A review of modern day etiquette and changing social rules for the better and worse! Covers intellectual honesty, rudeness around phones and tapping in and out of a social moment, texting at funerals and taking the opportunities of the boring moments; the rule of three when eating, two syllable names and schizophrenia, stealing the language of apology game, geographical influence - bottom line is that manners are always a two way interaction about comfortable communication- is it the older we get the more manners we’ve encountered and therefore become less tolerant?
A review of modern day etiquette and changing social rules for the better and worse! Covers intellectual honesty, rudeness around phones and tapping in and out of a social moment, texting at funerals and taking the opportunities of the boring moments; the rule of three when eating, two syllable names and schizophrenia, stealing the language of apology game, geographical influence - bottom line is that manners are always a two way interaction about comfortable communication- is it the older we get the more manners we’ve encountered and therefore become less tolerant?
September 23, 2024
This is a short, light hearted and largely funny (unsurprising given the author!) look at the world of manners and how behavioural expectations have changed and are changing.
David Mitchell conducts a series of interviews with a wide range of people to collect information and opinions and looks at behaviours across varied situations including the most recent minefield of on line behaviour.
Like everything David Mitchell seems to be involved with, this is both amusing, witty and clever and, typically, Mitchell continues to have a go at his personal beliefs and behaviours. Very easy read. ***
David Mitchell conducts a series of interviews with a wide range of people to collect information and opinions and looks at behaviours across varied situations including the most recent minefield of on line behaviour.
Like everything David Mitchell seems to be involved with, this is both amusing, witty and clever and, typically, Mitchell continues to have a go at his personal beliefs and behaviours. Very easy read. ***
September 20, 2020
BBC series die de moeite zijn om ze in (audio) boekvorm te gieten, zijn meestal ook de moeite om te beluisteren. De BBC blijft een kwaliteitslabel. We luisterden, grinnikten, waren het soms eens, soms oneens. De humor van David Mitchell ligt ons wel, dat was ook met dit audioboek duidelijk. Drie sterren omdat het minder sterk is dan zijn echte boeken en me waarschijnlijk niet zo lang zal bijblijven, maar ernaar luisteren tijdens kinderloze lunches was wel fijn.
December 16, 2020
Not really an audiobook; more of a compilation of what sounds like a series of radio programmes. But I don't think I ever heard them on the radio, so I'm pleased to have been able to listen to them in this form.
They are everything you expect and want from Mitchell: wry, humble and intelligent humour. He is in his element on a topic like this. Some well chosen interviewees. As well as being entertained, I did learn a little, though was already familiar with Elias's theories.
They are everything you expect and want from Mitchell: wry, humble and intelligent humour. He is in his element on a topic like this. Some well chosen interviewees. As well as being entertained, I did learn a little, though was already familiar with Elias's theories.
January 8, 2023
I always enjoy David Mitchell being David Mitchell. But I was surprised to find that this “audiobook” is really not a “book.” Rather, it is a recording of a BBC radio show hosted and narrated by David Mitchell. That being said, I feel conflicted about listing it in my Goodreads. What next??? Will podcasts someday be called “books? And will movies show up on Goodreads too? (HORRORS! Perish the thought!)
September 1, 2024
A damn good look into what constitutes good manners and civilized behaviour in our world of today, so as a child of the 60's it was nice to know that in some areas of human behaviour, expectation of behaving appropriately are still up for discussion.
Fabulous collection of words thank you David Mitchell, very much appreciated (-:
Fabulous collection of words thank you David Mitchell, very much appreciated (-:
November 3, 2021
How we treat our inner circle versus strangers, and the strange varied degrees in between.
What manners signal about social standing and values in just a few innocuous words.
David Mitchell always delivers something worthwhile.
What manners signal about social standing and values in just a few innocuous words.
David Mitchell always delivers something worthwhile.
July 24, 2024
the cover implies that it's going to be about which fork to use. But instead it's an incisive investigation of the roles and changing roles that manners play at different points in society's development.
February 22, 2025
I went into this with misplaced expectations. This is not David Mitchell reading one of his works- it is four episodes of a tv program exploring the role of manners in society. Uses field trips and interviews. Perfectly fine...
January 11, 2024
3.5 stars
An amusing look at manners and behaviour.
An amusing look at manners and behaviour.
December 26, 2024
Fun podcast with some depth. BBC quality production audiobook.
June 4, 2025
Taken from a radio programme, mildly interesting but I love listening to Mitchell talk. Would have liked more of his opinions tho.
October 25, 2025
Entertaining as always
October 11, 2023
Politeness and etiquette are all arbitrary and pointless - and yet also really important in making sure we act appropriately (even if what classifies “appropriately” is completely made up too).
This was a fun look at the what and why of politeness.
Being British myself, this seemed particularly on-brand for me to listen to.
Also, you can’t really go wrong with a David Mitchell Audiobook or book.
This was a fun look at the what and why of politeness.
Being British myself, this seemed particularly on-brand for me to listen to.
Also, you can’t really go wrong with a David Mitchell Audiobook or book.
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews