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Raising Them: Our Adventure in Gender Creative Parenting
“What did you have? A boy or a girl?” Kyl and Brent imagined it would be years before their child would identify with a gender. Until then…
As a first-time parent, Kyl Myers had one aspect dialed in from the not being beholden to the boy-girl binary, disparities, or stereotypes from the day a child is born. With no wish to eliminate gender but rather gender discrimination, Kyl and her husband, Brent, ventured off on a parenting path less traveled. Raising a confident, compassionate, and self-aware person was all that mattered.
In this illuminating memoir, Kyl delivers a liberating portrait of a family’s choice to dismantle the long-accepted and often-harmful social construct of what it means to be assigned a gender from birth. As a sociologist, Kyl explores the science of gender and sex and the adulthood gender inequities that start in childhood. As a loving parent, Kyl shares the joy of watching an amazing child named Zoomer develop their own agency to grow happily and healthily toward their own gender identity and expression.
Candid and surprising, Raising Them is an inspiration to parents and to anyone open to understanding the limitless possibilities of being yourself.
As a first-time parent, Kyl Myers had one aspect dialed in from the not being beholden to the boy-girl binary, disparities, or stereotypes from the day a child is born. With no wish to eliminate gender but rather gender discrimination, Kyl and her husband, Brent, ventured off on a parenting path less traveled. Raising a confident, compassionate, and self-aware person was all that mattered.
In this illuminating memoir, Kyl delivers a liberating portrait of a family’s choice to dismantle the long-accepted and often-harmful social construct of what it means to be assigned a gender from birth. As a sociologist, Kyl explores the science of gender and sex and the adulthood gender inequities that start in childhood. As a loving parent, Kyl shares the joy of watching an amazing child named Zoomer develop their own agency to grow happily and healthily toward their own gender identity and expression.
Candid and surprising, Raising Them is an inspiration to parents and to anyone open to understanding the limitless possibilities of being yourself.
237 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 8, 2020
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1778 people want to read
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October 21, 2020
I read this book because I'm considering raising kids without assigning them a gender. I knew going into it that this was a memoir and not a how-to guide, but let me warn you: if you are part of, or closely connected to, the queer and trans communities and/or have a full grasp on the gender spectrum, differences between sex and gender, and understand that there are lots of ways to have a family outside of man-woman-and-marriage-sex, you probably won’t learn much from this book. I’m glad that it exists for people who aren’t familiar with those concepts/are skeptical of them, because it does clearly lay out what the gender spectrum is and the ways both passive and overt gender stereotyping are harmful. However, so does Kyl’s website raisingzoomer.com and their ted talk that they mention countless times in this book, and those are a lot more concise. I’d probably send people to those websites first before giving them this book.
The main issue I took with this memoir is that Kyl speaks about raising a child free from the gender binary like they invented it. They talk about how their marriage with their husband is totally egalitarian, unbound by traditional gender roles etc and how feminist they are and how this sets this uncommon example for Zoomer. However, queer families have been parenting with two (or more) moms/dads/trans parents outside of traditional woman-man roles for decades because there haven’t been woman-man roles to fill in those relationships. Kyl wrote an entire chapter about all of their friends in queer and lesbian and gay relationships who diversify Zoomer's life. But Kyl doesn’t talk about how these people have been forming families and raising children surrounded by role models who show varying ways to be a man, woman, or someone in-between for much longer than Kyl decided to coin this term gender creative parenting. This is not at all to say I am against gender creative parenting (obv see first sentence of this review). But I do think Kyl does a poor job acknowledging where this parenting style fits into the larger queer landscape.
I wish I could say that at least the writing was good, but, unfortunately, I cannot. The overly-described dialogue and scene-setting is strained and self-aggrandizing to the point of second-hand embarrassment. It’s more like a personal diary meets baby book, which is fitting because at the end of the book Kyl writes that they hope that Zoomer can read this book and look back on the first few years of their life. That’s sweet and I’m glad Zoomer has this documentation.
This gets two stars because it does give some insight to what gender creative parenting is like as well as (like i mentioned before) accessible explanations of the gender spectrum and gender bias and how they are connected. But in all honesty this felt like reading a journaling project suggested to Kyl by their therapist. Yes, it is a memoir, so of course it is personal. But it is myopic of Kyl to not consider and address how grandly touting themself as this parenting vanguard is an appropriation of decades of trans and queer family building.
The main issue I took with this memoir is that Kyl speaks about raising a child free from the gender binary like they invented it. They talk about how their marriage with their husband is totally egalitarian, unbound by traditional gender roles etc and how feminist they are and how this sets this uncommon example for Zoomer. However, queer families have been parenting with two (or more) moms/dads/trans parents outside of traditional woman-man roles for decades because there haven’t been woman-man roles to fill in those relationships. Kyl wrote an entire chapter about all of their friends in queer and lesbian and gay relationships who diversify Zoomer's life. But Kyl doesn’t talk about how these people have been forming families and raising children surrounded by role models who show varying ways to be a man, woman, or someone in-between for much longer than Kyl decided to coin this term gender creative parenting. This is not at all to say I am against gender creative parenting (obv see first sentence of this review). But I do think Kyl does a poor job acknowledging where this parenting style fits into the larger queer landscape.
I wish I could say that at least the writing was good, but, unfortunately, I cannot. The overly-described dialogue and scene-setting is strained and self-aggrandizing to the point of second-hand embarrassment. It’s more like a personal diary meets baby book, which is fitting because at the end of the book Kyl writes that they hope that Zoomer can read this book and look back on the first few years of their life. That’s sweet and I’m glad Zoomer has this documentation.
This gets two stars because it does give some insight to what gender creative parenting is like as well as (like i mentioned before) accessible explanations of the gender spectrum and gender bias and how they are connected. But in all honesty this felt like reading a journaling project suggested to Kyl by their therapist. Yes, it is a memoir, so of course it is personal. But it is myopic of Kyl to not consider and address how grandly touting themself as this parenting vanguard is an appropriation of decades of trans and queer family building.
May 14, 2021
I was really looking forward to reading this book. As a nonbinary trans guy considering to raise my kids one day without assigning them a gender I really wanted to hear about the ways this could pan out in the current society that we live in.
I must say, I was a little disappointed in the book.
I want to start with the positives though: Kyl seems like a very caring parent and I like how personal this book is. This is not a guide or how-to, this is a memoir, and I appreciate that. I will probably recommend this book to cis people and future colleagues (I am a midwifery student) that have never heard about raising children without assigning them a gender as Kyls story is very accessible to people coming from a cisnormative world and perspective.
However, it felt like this book contained very many pages for saying very little.
It feels like Kyls entire parenting philosophy is to be "gender creative". And I get that this is what the book is about, but I wished there was more nuance to it.
As a nonbinary person people keeps thinking that gender plays a huge part in my every day life, where in fact it really doesn't. For me the thought of not assigning my child a gender would be a natural thing to do and also a very small part of my parenting. I imagine that there are probably a lot of things that play a great part in Kyls parenting other than the lack of assigning a gender, but I wished we'd seen more of that. This book really makes it seem like all they ever worry about is how to ensure Zoomer can live as "gender creative" as possible.
Again, I understand that the focus of this book is on that aspect of their parenting. But by not showing any other parts of their parenting or life with Zoomer it really perpetuates the image that gender is the prime aspect of their lives together.
I also really hate the term "gender creative parenting" with a passion. And the more I read it (and really, it is written on almost every single page) the more I hated it. There is nothing creative about letting your kid explore their gender freely. Queer people have been raising their children in gender open, gender free, and gender explorative ways for ages. It felt like being a "gender creative parent" was more of an identity to Kyl themselves than anything else.
I would've loved it if Kyl had waited a couple of more years to write this book, to maybe be able to include Zoomers own perspective about all of this. Hearing a parent declare something about "the best parenting decision they've ever made" while their child is only four years old and cannot contribute their own perspective of things always sounds a bit hypocritical and insincere.
I am sure Kyl is a great parent, don't get me wrong. And I love that Zoomer will get to read this book one day and learn a bit about their early years and the way their life started, the thought processes and challenges their parents went through. But this book almost felt like it was more about Kyl than it was about Zoomer.
Kyl and the other "gender creative" parents in their life haven't revolutionized parenting. I appreciate that they talk about raising children without assigning them a gender, but I wished they'd center the queer community and their children themselves more in the narrative instead of making "gender creative parenting" their whole identity. I know that there is probably a lot more to Kyl, but it felt like this is all they see themselves as: a gender creative parent.
Lastly, I was really looking for a book that answered some of my worries. This book rather increased them.
There is a scene Kyl describes very early on where a stranger keeps being very curious about Zoomers reproductive organs. So when they have to change their diaper, they do it very quickly so the stranger doesn't see anything. This scene worried me. Not because of the stranger, even though that kind of behavior is obviously despicable, but because children feel it when people around them are nervous. And the last thing I'd ever want for my child is for them to feel like their body was something secretive, to be hidden, to be scared about. I am not saying Kyl and their family should've acted any differently in the situation, not at all. But I wished Kyl had addressed this and also brought up more how they empower Zoomer to be confident in their body while at the same time making such a big deal of only a very selective group of people being allowed to know what it looks like.
Another scene described that kinda bothered me was later in the book when Kyl takes Zoomer to a track meet for little kids. Kyl was really excited about that, really hyping Zoomer - who loves to run - up. Then when they see that they separate the group by gender they just leave the event really disappointed. I understand this. I understand that Kyl didn't feel like there was room to speak up in the situation. But Zoomer was really excited to get to run, and leaving instead of at least trying to advocate for their child, felt like more about Kyls own disappointment than about centering Zoomers interests in the situation. It all turned out fine in the end. I am not even saying Kyl should've acted differently. I wasn't there. I just didn't like how this seemed like for Kyl "gender creative parenting" meant to avoid any and all gendered spaces, instead of trying to change them in Zoomers interest. And that's something that pulls through the book. However, a lot of spaces in our society are gendered and there comes a time where we cannot avoid them anymore. I would've loved to hear more about how Kyl and their family navigates these spaces and makes them inclusive for their child instead of just avoiding them.
Yes, that wish might come from a very personal place. As a nonbinary person in a very gendered society with a native language that is a lot more gendered than English is, I never had the choice to just avoid gendered spaces. However, this wish also comes from a fear about parenting, it's one thing to create a "gender creative" bubble that your child can live in while they are young. But parenting should always be about teaching your children to exist in the world and society - yes, to fight injustices, but not to avoid reality.
I must say, I was a little disappointed in the book.
I want to start with the positives though: Kyl seems like a very caring parent and I like how personal this book is. This is not a guide or how-to, this is a memoir, and I appreciate that. I will probably recommend this book to cis people and future colleagues (I am a midwifery student) that have never heard about raising children without assigning them a gender as Kyls story is very accessible to people coming from a cisnormative world and perspective.
However, it felt like this book contained very many pages for saying very little.
It feels like Kyls entire parenting philosophy is to be "gender creative". And I get that this is what the book is about, but I wished there was more nuance to it.
As a nonbinary person people keeps thinking that gender plays a huge part in my every day life, where in fact it really doesn't. For me the thought of not assigning my child a gender would be a natural thing to do and also a very small part of my parenting. I imagine that there are probably a lot of things that play a great part in Kyls parenting other than the lack of assigning a gender, but I wished we'd seen more of that. This book really makes it seem like all they ever worry about is how to ensure Zoomer can live as "gender creative" as possible.
Again, I understand that the focus of this book is on that aspect of their parenting. But by not showing any other parts of their parenting or life with Zoomer it really perpetuates the image that gender is the prime aspect of their lives together.
I also really hate the term "gender creative parenting" with a passion. And the more I read it (and really, it is written on almost every single page) the more I hated it. There is nothing creative about letting your kid explore their gender freely. Queer people have been raising their children in gender open, gender free, and gender explorative ways for ages. It felt like being a "gender creative parent" was more of an identity to Kyl themselves than anything else.
I would've loved it if Kyl had waited a couple of more years to write this book, to maybe be able to include Zoomers own perspective about all of this. Hearing a parent declare something about "the best parenting decision they've ever made" while their child is only four years old and cannot contribute their own perspective of things always sounds a bit hypocritical and insincere.
I am sure Kyl is a great parent, don't get me wrong. And I love that Zoomer will get to read this book one day and learn a bit about their early years and the way their life started, the thought processes and challenges their parents went through. But this book almost felt like it was more about Kyl than it was about Zoomer.
Kyl and the other "gender creative" parents in their life haven't revolutionized parenting. I appreciate that they talk about raising children without assigning them a gender, but I wished they'd center the queer community and their children themselves more in the narrative instead of making "gender creative parenting" their whole identity. I know that there is probably a lot more to Kyl, but it felt like this is all they see themselves as: a gender creative parent.
Lastly, I was really looking for a book that answered some of my worries. This book rather increased them.
There is a scene Kyl describes very early on where a stranger keeps being very curious about Zoomers reproductive organs. So when they have to change their diaper, they do it very quickly so the stranger doesn't see anything. This scene worried me. Not because of the stranger, even though that kind of behavior is obviously despicable, but because children feel it when people around them are nervous. And the last thing I'd ever want for my child is for them to feel like their body was something secretive, to be hidden, to be scared about. I am not saying Kyl and their family should've acted any differently in the situation, not at all. But I wished Kyl had addressed this and also brought up more how they empower Zoomer to be confident in their body while at the same time making such a big deal of only a very selective group of people being allowed to know what it looks like.
Another scene described that kinda bothered me was later in the book when Kyl takes Zoomer to a track meet for little kids. Kyl was really excited about that, really hyping Zoomer - who loves to run - up. Then when they see that they separate the group by gender they just leave the event really disappointed. I understand this. I understand that Kyl didn't feel like there was room to speak up in the situation. But Zoomer was really excited to get to run, and leaving instead of at least trying to advocate for their child, felt like more about Kyls own disappointment than about centering Zoomers interests in the situation. It all turned out fine in the end. I am not even saying Kyl should've acted differently. I wasn't there. I just didn't like how this seemed like for Kyl "gender creative parenting" meant to avoid any and all gendered spaces, instead of trying to change them in Zoomers interest. And that's something that pulls through the book. However, a lot of spaces in our society are gendered and there comes a time where we cannot avoid them anymore. I would've loved to hear more about how Kyl and their family navigates these spaces and makes them inclusive for their child instead of just avoiding them.
Yes, that wish might come from a very personal place. As a nonbinary person in a very gendered society with a native language that is a lot more gendered than English is, I never had the choice to just avoid gendered spaces. However, this wish also comes from a fear about parenting, it's one thing to create a "gender creative" bubble that your child can live in while they are young. But parenting should always be about teaching your children to exist in the world and society - yes, to fight injustices, but not to avoid reality.
January 24, 2021
~ARC received in exchange for an honest review~
'Raising Them' written by Kyl Myers, PhD is a memoir portraying her families venture into 'gender-creative' parenting - a term that is new to me but is a welcome alternative to the term 'gender-neutral' which I've always felt is a bit 'meh' and doesn't really do a great job representing the idea of allowing children freedom and a safe environment to explore all that life has to offer, rather than be limited in their life experience by their anatomy. If 'neutral' is beige, then 'creative' is a rainbow.
The author, a sociologist, is well versed in the research, statistics and data behind why it's beneficial for children to be raised in such a way, and is simultaneously a parent raising a child of their own. For that reason I consider this an ideal resource for anyone looking to explore alternatives to traditional childhood gender socialization, for whatever reason that may be.
Myers experience combined with education humanizes what could potentially be portrayed as a lofty ideal and 'Raising Them' is written concisely and in a way that's paleatable to the reader. Myers as a person generally comes accross as compassionate, self-aware and conscious of how best to present her philosophy intelligently and gracefully, without arrogance or preaching. I've found it useful in affirming my thoughts and feelings on the subject and I'll definitely be revisiting in the future as I navigate my own parenting journey.
This book has come along at just the right time for me. On the first day of the new year I delivered my third and final child - after two sons this is our first daughter and it's opened up a can of worms in terms of gender socialization and just how differently children are treated in society based on their anatomy even before birth. It's something I've been spending a lot of time thinking about recently. In the summer my two older children will also start school and preschool on the same day - suffice to say that my family is entering somewhat of a new chapter in life and it can be difficult to unlearn certain ideas and go along with what feels natural when met with constant opposition from the outside world, which it feels like we are now fully entering. I've found this book to be affirming and validating and in reading it I feel encouraged moving forward.
Parenting is very personal and I appreciate the Courtney-Myers family putting themselves out there for all the world to see and want them to know that their efforts are more than worthwhile. This book is an opportunity to literally tell their own story and it's impossible to rate any less than 5*
~Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the opportunity to review this title~
'Raising Them' written by Kyl Myers, PhD is a memoir portraying her families venture into 'gender-creative' parenting - a term that is new to me but is a welcome alternative to the term 'gender-neutral' which I've always felt is a bit 'meh' and doesn't really do a great job representing the idea of allowing children freedom and a safe environment to explore all that life has to offer, rather than be limited in their life experience by their anatomy. If 'neutral' is beige, then 'creative' is a rainbow.
The author, a sociologist, is well versed in the research, statistics and data behind why it's beneficial for children to be raised in such a way, and is simultaneously a parent raising a child of their own. For that reason I consider this an ideal resource for anyone looking to explore alternatives to traditional childhood gender socialization, for whatever reason that may be.
Myers experience combined with education humanizes what could potentially be portrayed as a lofty ideal and 'Raising Them' is written concisely and in a way that's paleatable to the reader. Myers as a person generally comes accross as compassionate, self-aware and conscious of how best to present her philosophy intelligently and gracefully, without arrogance or preaching. I've found it useful in affirming my thoughts and feelings on the subject and I'll definitely be revisiting in the future as I navigate my own parenting journey.
This book has come along at just the right time for me. On the first day of the new year I delivered my third and final child - after two sons this is our first daughter and it's opened up a can of worms in terms of gender socialization and just how differently children are treated in society based on their anatomy even before birth. It's something I've been spending a lot of time thinking about recently. In the summer my two older children will also start school and preschool on the same day - suffice to say that my family is entering somewhat of a new chapter in life and it can be difficult to unlearn certain ideas and go along with what feels natural when met with constant opposition from the outside world, which it feels like we are now fully entering. I've found this book to be affirming and validating and in reading it I feel encouraged moving forward.
Parenting is very personal and I appreciate the Courtney-Myers family putting themselves out there for all the world to see and want them to know that their efforts are more than worthwhile. This book is an opportunity to literally tell their own story and it's impossible to rate any less than 5*
~Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the opportunity to review this title~
April 9, 2024
I enjoyed this - thanks to Alexis for loaning it to me!
I relate to Kyl in many ways and commend her for taking on the daily emotional work of advocating for gender creative parenting.
I have heard of parents not assigning gender and whenever I thought of doing it myself, my knee-jerk reaction was that it would be too hard - the constant explaining and potential confrontations would be exhausting. I thought it would be easier to assign gender but teach my daughter about gender, trans and non-binary folks, and inclusivity, and make sure to give her a spectrum of opportunities. Kyl tells us about a friend who commented: "I spend so much of my time tearing the walls down that people are trying to build around my daughters. People aren't trying to build walls around Zoomer because they don't know which walls to build." And that really hit home because, as Kyl tells us, it's a bit of a game of Whac-a-Mole trying to smash stereotypes. My daughter has long hair and constantly is told she is pretty, a princess, etc. I feel like it's an impossibly strong wave of people telling her that beauty is the most important thing about her to stand against.
I also really dug Kyl's descriptions of gender-full and gender expansive parenting rather than gender neutral parenting. It's not about beige babies! Something I so often think about in my own parenting journey is how normal it is now to introduce my daughter to cars and STEM but how sad it is that so many boys won't have the opportunity to experience the PURE JOY DJ receives from her tutu and long braids spinning when she dances.
I was reassured and heartened that Kyl and Brent received do much support, acceptance, and affirmation from their community - in Utah and with Mormon parents none the less! I loved how gender creative parenting strengthened relationships rather than strained them.
I do wish Kyl had waited a few more years to write the memoir so she could have included what it was like for Zoomer to find their own gender identity. This memoir ends before Zoomer turns 4.
Overall, this inspired me to boost my feminist efforts to be more gender creative in my parenting and in my discussions with other parents.
I relate to Kyl in many ways and commend her for taking on the daily emotional work of advocating for gender creative parenting.
I have heard of parents not assigning gender and whenever I thought of doing it myself, my knee-jerk reaction was that it would be too hard - the constant explaining and potential confrontations would be exhausting. I thought it would be easier to assign gender but teach my daughter about gender, trans and non-binary folks, and inclusivity, and make sure to give her a spectrum of opportunities. Kyl tells us about a friend who commented: "I spend so much of my time tearing the walls down that people are trying to build around my daughters. People aren't trying to build walls around Zoomer because they don't know which walls to build." And that really hit home because, as Kyl tells us, it's a bit of a game of Whac-a-Mole trying to smash stereotypes. My daughter has long hair and constantly is told she is pretty, a princess, etc. I feel like it's an impossibly strong wave of people telling her that beauty is the most important thing about her to stand against.
I also really dug Kyl's descriptions of gender-full and gender expansive parenting rather than gender neutral parenting. It's not about beige babies! Something I so often think about in my own parenting journey is how normal it is now to introduce my daughter to cars and STEM but how sad it is that so many boys won't have the opportunity to experience the PURE JOY DJ receives from her tutu and long braids spinning when she dances.
I was reassured and heartened that Kyl and Brent received do much support, acceptance, and affirmation from their community - in Utah and with Mormon parents none the less! I loved how gender creative parenting strengthened relationships rather than strained them.
I do wish Kyl had waited a few more years to write the memoir so she could have included what it was like for Zoomer to find their own gender identity. This memoir ends before Zoomer turns 4.
Overall, this inspired me to boost my feminist efforts to be more gender creative in my parenting and in my discussions with other parents.
June 20, 2020
***Thanks to NetGalley for the e-ARC in exchange for my honest review***
Dr. Kyl Myers was raised fairly sheltered within the Mormon community, but grows increasingly more interested in learning about the larger world as she continues her education. As part of this awakening, she becomes interested in gender creative parenting, in which parents do not assign a gender to their child(ren) and instead, wait to be informed by them when they are old enough to do so. Myers becomes an advocate and role model for those interested in following this parenting path, and it's easy to see why. The book showcases a sunny outlook and so much love for her child, Zoomer. It's clear that this is working well for her family and that Zoomer is thriving as they experience all that the world has to offer without the restriction of gender stereotypes.
While I'd love to stop there and say this was a great book, I'd be remiss if I didn't also share some of the thoughts I had while reading this book. For one, Myers is privileged. In so many ways. She acknowledges it a bit, but I think as someone wanting to help others explore gender creative parenting, she does them a disservice by not acknowledging that for some, this might be extremely difficult even if they are committed to it. Myers' husband, her family, his family, friends, and coworkers were all supportive of their decision. They find businesses that are welcoming and supportive. They have babysitters and childcare that are on board too. This is phenomenal, and I wish everyone could say the same, but the reality is that many people simply do not have this type of community surrounding them. The hardest thing Myers had to deal with was an influx of media attention after granting an interview, which was slightly confusing because in this day, how did she not expect that? That minor judgment aside, I think it just nagged at me in general because she seemed to have a happy ending to nearly every situation that arose, including choosing not to have Zoomer participate in a running race because it was divided by gender. I guess that's where the "creative" part comes in too, because she came up with an alternative activity that still allowed Zoomer to run and feel loved.
The other part I had some difficulty with was the whole issue of privacy. We live in such a challenging time when it comes to making decisions about our childrens' digital footprints and whatnot, but it was ironic that while Myers worked so hard to not have Zoomer's genitals mark them any which way, she was still fine with listing every single other detail about them in a book. The intent, of sharing their family's story, is great. But the impact? I guess we won't know that until Zoomer is old enough to check it out on their own. Everything is told lovingly and with adoration, but that still doesn't necessarily mean they will be comfortable with it in the future. It was a gamble, but I guess gender creative parenting felt like a gamble at first too, so it fits the overall pattern.
In any case, this was a sweet read that will no doubt be thought-provoking for those who have never considered what gendering their child at birth might mean for their future.
Dr. Kyl Myers was raised fairly sheltered within the Mormon community, but grows increasingly more interested in learning about the larger world as she continues her education. As part of this awakening, she becomes interested in gender creative parenting, in which parents do not assign a gender to their child(ren) and instead, wait to be informed by them when they are old enough to do so. Myers becomes an advocate and role model for those interested in following this parenting path, and it's easy to see why. The book showcases a sunny outlook and so much love for her child, Zoomer. It's clear that this is working well for her family and that Zoomer is thriving as they experience all that the world has to offer without the restriction of gender stereotypes.
While I'd love to stop there and say this was a great book, I'd be remiss if I didn't also share some of the thoughts I had while reading this book. For one, Myers is privileged. In so many ways. She acknowledges it a bit, but I think as someone wanting to help others explore gender creative parenting, she does them a disservice by not acknowledging that for some, this might be extremely difficult even if they are committed to it. Myers' husband, her family, his family, friends, and coworkers were all supportive of their decision. They find businesses that are welcoming and supportive. They have babysitters and childcare that are on board too. This is phenomenal, and I wish everyone could say the same, but the reality is that many people simply do not have this type of community surrounding them. The hardest thing Myers had to deal with was an influx of media attention after granting an interview, which was slightly confusing because in this day, how did she not expect that? That minor judgment aside, I think it just nagged at me in general because she seemed to have a happy ending to nearly every situation that arose, including choosing not to have Zoomer participate in a running race because it was divided by gender. I guess that's where the "creative" part comes in too, because she came up with an alternative activity that still allowed Zoomer to run and feel loved.
The other part I had some difficulty with was the whole issue of privacy. We live in such a challenging time when it comes to making decisions about our childrens' digital footprints and whatnot, but it was ironic that while Myers worked so hard to not have Zoomer's genitals mark them any which way, she was still fine with listing every single other detail about them in a book. The intent, of sharing their family's story, is great. But the impact? I guess we won't know that until Zoomer is old enough to check it out on their own. Everything is told lovingly and with adoration, but that still doesn't necessarily mean they will be comfortable with it in the future. It was a gamble, but I guess gender creative parenting felt like a gamble at first too, so it fits the overall pattern.
In any case, this was a sweet read that will no doubt be thought-provoking for those who have never considered what gendering their child at birth might mean for their future.
May 26, 2020
First and foremost I would like to thank NetGalley for granting me the privilege of reading this amazing book (that the people around me will have to hear about for quite some time to come). It wholeheartedly deserves the five stars I'm giving it and I'm very happy to see that other people on the internet seem to agree with me.
As Myers mentions it themselves at the beginning of this book: "This book is for people who are passionate about queering parenting." After finishing this book I fully agree with this! This book, like a lot of books about parenting in general, isn't just for parents. It's for anybody who's ever been interested in how parenting can influence a child and inevitably the future that child grows up in. But it's also for people who just want to learn more about how our perception of gender shapes how we see others and the world, and for people who might want to change the view they currently have.
This book explores gender in an explanatory way, (possibly) teaching the reader new terminology, viewpoints and visions for a different future for kids. Myers also talks about how they, their partner and family experienced everything that comes with deciding to become a parent and the experience of raising a child in a gender creative way. Fun, sad and sometimes frustrating anecdotes share the page with educational segments about gender in relation to parenting (or society in general).
The thing I loved most about this book is how accessible it was to read. A lot is discussed in this book, but everything is approached with an open mindset and clear and simple language. This book could be used as an example of how to tackle gender creative parenting, but it doesn't present itself that way (Myer even addressed the overload of parenting "tips" and books in Western culture, which I highly appreciated). Everything about this book screams inclusion and it promotes a safe space for dialogue about gender, sexuality and parenting.
Another thing that made this book very refreshing to read, was how both reassuring and real it was. Myers doesn't sugar-coat anything about their experience in the world of being a parent so far, but it leaves the reader with hope anyway. This book both raises and answers a lot of interesting questions and just makes the reader think, without overwhelming them.
Lastly, the line that struck me the most in this book, is this: "I want more than half the world for my child." I immediately felt like that line will open a lot of worlds for people, hopefully for (soon to be) parents as well. It paints a very bright picture for this way of raising a child and filled me with joy.
I strongly encourage everybody to read this book, because I feel like it's an important contribution to shaping a more fun, more inclusive, more colourful and brighter world for the next generations.
As Myers mentions it themselves at the beginning of this book: "This book is for people who are passionate about queering parenting." After finishing this book I fully agree with this! This book, like a lot of books about parenting in general, isn't just for parents. It's for anybody who's ever been interested in how parenting can influence a child and inevitably the future that child grows up in. But it's also for people who just want to learn more about how our perception of gender shapes how we see others and the world, and for people who might want to change the view they currently have.
This book explores gender in an explanatory way, (possibly) teaching the reader new terminology, viewpoints and visions for a different future for kids. Myers also talks about how they, their partner and family experienced everything that comes with deciding to become a parent and the experience of raising a child in a gender creative way. Fun, sad and sometimes frustrating anecdotes share the page with educational segments about gender in relation to parenting (or society in general).
The thing I loved most about this book is how accessible it was to read. A lot is discussed in this book, but everything is approached with an open mindset and clear and simple language. This book could be used as an example of how to tackle gender creative parenting, but it doesn't present itself that way (Myer even addressed the overload of parenting "tips" and books in Western culture, which I highly appreciated). Everything about this book screams inclusion and it promotes a safe space for dialogue about gender, sexuality and parenting.
Another thing that made this book very refreshing to read, was how both reassuring and real it was. Myers doesn't sugar-coat anything about their experience in the world of being a parent so far, but it leaves the reader with hope anyway. This book both raises and answers a lot of interesting questions and just makes the reader think, without overwhelming them.
Lastly, the line that struck me the most in this book, is this: "I want more than half the world for my child." I immediately felt like that line will open a lot of worlds for people, hopefully for (soon to be) parents as well. It paints a very bright picture for this way of raising a child and filled me with joy.
I strongly encourage everybody to read this book, because I feel like it's an important contribution to shaping a more fun, more inclusive, more colourful and brighter world for the next generations.
February 5, 2021
I thought I would enjoy this book, but I did not. I am raising my children in an equal household with a co-parent and an aggressive rejection of gender stereotypes; as such, I agree with a lot of positions in this book (most notably that gender stereotypes are damaging, calling little children boyfriend & girlfriend is super creepy, and boys’ clothes are dull), but I found the writing verbose, superficial, and trite, with an overarching impression that the writer has an insufferable opinion of her own worthiness.
This book has been written during the easiest part of gender-creative parenting (pre-school) - the world is very different when lots of other influences are added to a child’s life (at least the author recognises this). It is also written about only one child - it would have been more interesting had the author experienced two children of different sexes. Having now had two children, I have witnessed different biological events even when we avoid gender stereotypes as a rule.
My overriding takeaway from this book is that there is nothing original or insightful in it. It is just rehashed critical gender theory written in the style of a memoir. There are better books out there to help parents protect children from pernicious gender stereotypes - Delusions of Gender and The Gender Agenda spring to mind.
This book has been written during the easiest part of gender-creative parenting (pre-school) - the world is very different when lots of other influences are added to a child’s life (at least the author recognises this). It is also written about only one child - it would have been more interesting had the author experienced two children of different sexes. Having now had two children, I have witnessed different biological events even when we avoid gender stereotypes as a rule.
My overriding takeaway from this book is that there is nothing original or insightful in it. It is just rehashed critical gender theory written in the style of a memoir. There are better books out there to help parents protect children from pernicious gender stereotypes - Delusions of Gender and The Gender Agenda spring to mind.
February 14, 2022
3.5-4 stars
This is a memoir by a non-binary fem presenting parent who raised their child as non-binary until they were old enough to choose for themselves. This book was disappointing because I expected a how to guide, but that isn't what this is. It is more a reflection on their experience. I appreciated the look, but I would have appreciated more about the mechanics of it. Overall, I think it is a fascinating approach, one that seems like good way to avoid societal pressures of what a person should be like based solely on how their sex is interpreted at birth. The thing is, I don't think this book does much to make that argument, not that it is necessarily trying to. I think the motivation is self evident, at least more than it is communicated in this book. What I could not get behind was the pseudoscience that, while not the entire book, is sprinkled throughout (e.g., homeopathy). I value windows and mirrors, but I don't feel that way about spreading harmful information about public health, which is why it can be hard to read books by people who have such fundamental views from my own. To be fair, I don't remember the problematic aspects being actively promoted, merely its passive existence in their life, which is still hard not to cringe at.
Overall, it's a fine memoir, but don't expect it to be a guide to gender nonconforming parenting.
This is a memoir by a non-binary fem presenting parent who raised their child as non-binary until they were old enough to choose for themselves. This book was disappointing because I expected a how to guide, but that isn't what this is. It is more a reflection on their experience. I appreciated the look, but I would have appreciated more about the mechanics of it. Overall, I think it is a fascinating approach, one that seems like good way to avoid societal pressures of what a person should be like based solely on how their sex is interpreted at birth. The thing is, I don't think this book does much to make that argument, not that it is necessarily trying to. I think the motivation is self evident, at least more than it is communicated in this book. What I could not get behind was the pseudoscience that, while not the entire book, is sprinkled throughout (e.g., homeopathy). I value windows and mirrors, but I don't feel that way about spreading harmful information about public health, which is why it can be hard to read books by people who have such fundamental views from my own. To be fair, I don't remember the problematic aspects being actively promoted, merely its passive existence in their life, which is still hard not to cringe at.
Overall, it's a fine memoir, but don't expect it to be a guide to gender nonconforming parenting.
December 20, 2021
I think if I were ever to parent, I'd want to do so in a gender expansive way. I think Kyl Myers is an eloquent and convincing advocate for the choices they've made. But I think what I wanted out of this was something more informative and less self-congratulatory; Myers did not invent this style of parenting, and while they openly acknowledge their privilege a couple times in the book, it felt facetious and insufficient. The stories about Zoomer were, in my opinion, the strongest sections of the memoir, but I think even those lack gravitas because Zoomer is around 4 at the time of publication. I wanted insight into the logistics of parenting this way, stories of obstacles they've faced and successes they've celebrated, and instead I mostly got a story about... Kyl.
As other reviewers have said, I might recommend this to people as an introduction to gender "creative" parenting, but not to anyone who has an existing critical understanding of gender.
As other reviewers have said, I might recommend this to people as an introduction to gender "creative" parenting, but not to anyone who has an existing critical understanding of gender.
January 17, 2021
A beautifully written book. Gender creative parenting was a concept I knew little about but one as someone who identifies outside of the binary, that I was interested in. I’d only ever seen negative media articles or interviews regarding the topic and it was so refreshing to find this book.
October 29, 2020
I received a free copy through a Goodreads giveaway. The book provided good food for thought about how we (mainstream American culture, at least) gender childhood. Some sweet insight into Kyl and partner Brent’s life with Zoomer, who sounds like a great little kid.
August 25, 2020
*I received this book from NetGalley in return for a honest review*
This book made me think a lot; about gender, about how we look at boys and girls different from the moment that they are born, and about how I want to raise my future children.
This book is the story of Kyl and Brent as they decided to raise their child gender neutral. This meant that no one besides doctors and those taking care of Zoomer new the biological sex of their child, they reject all labels of gender, and are waiting for Zoomer's decision on their own gender (or lack if that is what they prefer).
This book goes through their journey from Kyl's upbringing, their early marriage, decision to have a child (and raise them genderless), and the process of pregnancy, birth, and the first three years of Zommer's life. Now Kyl is writing from a privileged space, and one where most of the family, doctors, and friends around this family are very accepting, but Kyl admits to this as well.
I really enjoyed this book. I found it very well written and a story that is different from any that I have read before. It made me think about why the first thing we as a pregnant woman is if it is a boy or a girl, and why we separate genders for anything and everything. I think this is an eye-opening book, and one that will start a lot of conversations.
This book made me think a lot; about gender, about how we look at boys and girls different from the moment that they are born, and about how I want to raise my future children.
This book is the story of Kyl and Brent as they decided to raise their child gender neutral. This meant that no one besides doctors and those taking care of Zoomer new the biological sex of their child, they reject all labels of gender, and are waiting for Zoomer's decision on their own gender (or lack if that is what they prefer).
This book goes through their journey from Kyl's upbringing, their early marriage, decision to have a child (and raise them genderless), and the process of pregnancy, birth, and the first three years of Zommer's life. Now Kyl is writing from a privileged space, and one where most of the family, doctors, and friends around this family are very accepting, but Kyl admits to this as well.
I really enjoyed this book. I found it very well written and a story that is different from any that I have read before. It made me think about why the first thing we as a pregnant woman is if it is a boy or a girl, and why we separate genders for anything and everything. I think this is an eye-opening book, and one that will start a lot of conversations.
July 17, 2020
I requested this book on NetGalley because I was curious. Raising a child without gender until they choose - my first thought was ‘how cool!’ which was followed quickly by a resounding ‘sounds really hard, though.’ Kyl is a wonderful story teller and sounds like a wonderful mom.
(Note: ‘they’ is the pronoun used for Kyl in the ‘About the author’ section, so that’s what I will use.)
They were not preachy or judgmental at all in their choice to be a gender creative parent. When their sister worriedly asked if Kyl thought she was a bad mom for raising her child as a girl, Kyl said of course not, you’re a wonderful mom. This is just what feels right for me. They also acknowledged that their experiences, such as the positive hospital experience giving birth to Zoomer, was influenced by “privileges Brent and I have as white, middle-class, insured, straight-appearing couple at a hospital in a progressive city.” And they acknowledged that while their family was very supportive, others are not so lucky. This was not a ‘how to live your life like me because I’m right and you’re wrong’ kind of book. It was more of a book on ‘here’s one way to do it that worked well for us and hopefully hearing our story might make you more comfortable if you choose to be a gender creative parent, too.”
I’m so glad I read this book. I think one day gender creative parenting will be much more commonplace and I hope I get to see that day. Thank you NetGalley, Kyl Myers, and publisher for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.
(Note: ‘they’ is the pronoun used for Kyl in the ‘About the author’ section, so that’s what I will use.)
They were not preachy or judgmental at all in their choice to be a gender creative parent. When their sister worriedly asked if Kyl thought she was a bad mom for raising her child as a girl, Kyl said of course not, you’re a wonderful mom. This is just what feels right for me. They also acknowledged that their experiences, such as the positive hospital experience giving birth to Zoomer, was influenced by “privileges Brent and I have as white, middle-class, insured, straight-appearing couple at a hospital in a progressive city.” And they acknowledged that while their family was very supportive, others are not so lucky. This was not a ‘how to live your life like me because I’m right and you’re wrong’ kind of book. It was more of a book on ‘here’s one way to do it that worked well for us and hopefully hearing our story might make you more comfortable if you choose to be a gender creative parent, too.”
I’m so glad I read this book. I think one day gender creative parenting will be much more commonplace and I hope I get to see that day. Thank you NetGalley, Kyl Myers, and publisher for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.
October 26, 2020
This book had me feeling all over the place, but it is for the most part very informative. If you're someone that's already deeply entrenched in the matter gender creative parenting- or more broadly, gender stereotypes and the damage they do- then you might not get a TON of new information, but Raising Them is still peppered with interesting statistics and topics that still managed to surprise me. However, there was one thing that made this book slightly difficult (but not impossible) to get through, and it's something that I'd already seen many people on here point out: PRIVILEGE. When I'd read others' reviews complaining about the extremely privileged, idealistic experiences of Myers' writing, I thought "Well, it's not so bad since they acknowledged it in the beginning. That's okay, right?" But it does begin to get exhausting and a bit frustrating. For every other picture-perfect scenario and understanding relative they detail, I could see the same situation going differently for me with my potential child/children, and not for the better. For how interesting the facts, studies, and sociological information was, I wish there was more of that and slightly less autobiographical detail. Kyl certainly has lived an interesting and bio-worthy life, but that wasn't quite what I came here for. That is not to say I didn't enjoy this book at all; I liked it and did share it with my partner, who shares my feelings and found the concept to be an ideal option for parenting. Will we ever get to put it into practice? Who knows, but I'm glad to have a bit more information in my side.
September 9, 2020
Kyl Myers is a marvel. Their writing style is witty, self-aware, and honest. Kyl writes of their family’s adventure as they raise their child outside of the constraints an assigned gender would bring, and in the process, we get to know their sweet kiddo, Zoomer. There’s a chapter for everything - hair styles! clothing! extended family! travel! - and the book is positive and playful as it translates gender topics often made inaccessible by lofty language. Kyl fills their book with humour, kindness, and heart as they tell the full story, from childhood to falling in love with Brent to their joint decision to do gender creative parenting and the way they put it into practice together during Zoomer’s first three years. It’s a beautiful story that made me snort-laugh at times and tear up at others. I can’t recommend it enough, not only to parents, but to anyone who wants a positive and innovative take on what childhood and family can be.
September 14, 2020
Raising Them: Our Adventure in Gender Creative Parenting is a memoir about Kyl and Brent who are raising their child Zoomer using Gender Creative Parenting. This means that they do not assign a gender to their child rather they let their child live life as a kid and explore the world without any gender stereotypes.
I have followed Zoomer's story on instagram and I loved getting a deeper look into their family. Hearing how they navigated this world with their own family, friends, and out on their travels was so interesting to me.
This book made me think about the ways I gender stereotype my own children every day and will make me think about what I say to them going forward. This is a great read to help anyone understand the role of gender stereotypes on children development.
Thank you NetGalley for the free review copy.
I have followed Zoomer's story on instagram and I loved getting a deeper look into their family. Hearing how they navigated this world with their own family, friends, and out on their travels was so interesting to me.
This book made me think about the ways I gender stereotype my own children every day and will make me think about what I say to them going forward. This is a great read to help anyone understand the role of gender stereotypes on children development.
Thank you NetGalley for the free review copy.
November 30, 2020
The efforts and support placed to bring up Zoomer is just amazing. I love how Zoomer was given more opportunity to make decisions for themselves even for tasks as simple as choosing the color of balloons. I switched in between the audio book and eBook depending on what I was doing. Tbh, I enjoyed the audio book more. Kyl was great in narrating her book. It was light, funny and mind opening. This book added a lot of insights on creative parenting as well as the stereotypical lifestyle that we unconsciously lives in.
September 9, 2020
RAISING THEM is a profoundly beautiful, real, inspiring, thought-provoking read that turned my perception of the outdated concept of gender binary on its head and left me thinking about it long after I finished the book.
Part autobiographical memoir, part invaluable parenting resource, Kyl Myers has created a work that could utterly transform the lives of families today and generations to come. This book opened my eyes to the deepest, most toxic layers of societal “gender norms” and the impact they have on every person in existence today - childrens’ lives, emotional/ mental/physical landscapes, and futures are shaped by something utterly unnecessary at best and irrevocably damaging at worst, and parents and grandparents and relatives and caregivers would do well to consider the unique perspective Myers offers.
As a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, I found myself wishing I had been raised in such a loving, inclusive, unpressured environment - I’m only now beginning to explore my own gender identity at 28 years old, and I know that my upbringing is a huge part of why it took me so long to feel comfortable with this (or even realize exploring was an option). I hope that more and more parents will choose to raise their children gender-creatively - Zoomer and others like them will undoubtedly grow up to be compassionate, joyful, expressive human beings and I am delighted to see it.
Part autobiographical memoir, part invaluable parenting resource, Kyl Myers has created a work that could utterly transform the lives of families today and generations to come. This book opened my eyes to the deepest, most toxic layers of societal “gender norms” and the impact they have on every person in existence today - childrens’ lives, emotional/ mental/physical landscapes, and futures are shaped by something utterly unnecessary at best and irrevocably damaging at worst, and parents and grandparents and relatives and caregivers would do well to consider the unique perspective Myers offers.
As a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, I found myself wishing I had been raised in such a loving, inclusive, unpressured environment - I’m only now beginning to explore my own gender identity at 28 years old, and I know that my upbringing is a huge part of why it took me so long to feel comfortable with this (or even realize exploring was an option). I hope that more and more parents will choose to raise their children gender-creatively - Zoomer and others like them will undoubtedly grow up to be compassionate, joyful, expressive human beings and I am delighted to see it.
October 24, 2020
Raising Them was a fascinating book about parents who chose not to assign a gender to their child at birth. Instead, they are trying their best to raise their child outside of the constraints of gender stereotypes and will let their child make the decision on what gender they identify with as they grow up.
The big take away I got from this book was really thinking about and identifying gender stereotypes that we all face on a daily basis and the harm they can cause. This book lead to my own interesting thought experiments about what the world would look like without gender stereotypes. This book also made me think about the way I'm raising my children, how I personally contribute to gender stereotypes, and how I can do better. While not everything this book talked about personally resonated with me in how I choose to raise my kids, this book really helped me gain new perspectives on the topics of gender and parenting. I feel that this book was an important one to add to the dialogue of parenting and gender and I am glad I read it.
The big take away I got from this book was really thinking about and identifying gender stereotypes that we all face on a daily basis and the harm they can cause. This book lead to my own interesting thought experiments about what the world would look like without gender stereotypes. This book also made me think about the way I'm raising my children, how I personally contribute to gender stereotypes, and how I can do better. While not everything this book talked about personally resonated with me in how I choose to raise my kids, this book really helped me gain new perspectives on the topics of gender and parenting. I feel that this book was an important one to add to the dialogue of parenting and gender and I am glad I read it.
March 19, 2021
Borrowed this book from a friend.
I really liked this book - the pacing was good, as was the writing. I learned a lot about gender creative parenting (which I'd never considered before). Though not a parent myself, you can tell that little Zoomer is so blessed to have a loving mother and father, and that they are loved unconditionally.
I will now consciously NOT ask a pregnant person what they are having (who cares, happy and healthy is all that matters), or coo at a baby in a stroller with some lame-ass "oh, look how big and strong he is" or "what a little heartbreaker." Even if the child is obviously dressed as a boy or girl....I want to be more conscious about being gender inclusive (girls can be big and strong, you know).
Some reviewers have complained about this family's privilege - but the author acknowledges that very early in the book - so I think it's OK. It's OK to have privilege, but you need to understand you have it, and help those who don't; it's how you use it (to be inclusive) in your daily life that makes a difference in my mind.
The book gives you much to think about, and is well written. Great job!
I really liked this book - the pacing was good, as was the writing. I learned a lot about gender creative parenting (which I'd never considered before). Though not a parent myself, you can tell that little Zoomer is so blessed to have a loving mother and father, and that they are loved unconditionally.
I will now consciously NOT ask a pregnant person what they are having (who cares, happy and healthy is all that matters), or coo at a baby in a stroller with some lame-ass "oh, look how big and strong he is" or "what a little heartbreaker." Even if the child is obviously dressed as a boy or girl....I want to be more conscious about being gender inclusive (girls can be big and strong, you know).
Some reviewers have complained about this family's privilege - but the author acknowledges that very early in the book - so I think it's OK. It's OK to have privilege, but you need to understand you have it, and help those who don't; it's how you use it (to be inclusive) in your daily life that makes a difference in my mind.
The book gives you much to think about, and is well written. Great job!
September 11, 2020
This story is the beginning of a beautiful conversation of inclusion, love, and growth (sometimes as you go). I learnt new ways in which I can discuss gender and its multifaceted components with others, strangers even. I laughed quite a bit and cried happy, hopeful tears. What a gift this book will be to many individuals looking to feel the love of those happy, hopeful tears as well. Thank you to Dr. Myers, Brent, and Z for sharing their world with us.
July 29, 2022
I don't know how to start but while I'm turning the pages little by little because I'm about to finish reading the book, my tears are rolling down my face. It feels good to open my mind to the fact that there really is a world apart from the world that society gives us. I am lucky.
August 27, 2022
This book really lived up to my expectations. Kyl‘s honest and empathetic portrayal of parenting and the terrifying feeling of ,hopefully we are doing the best we can to not limit our child‘ gave me watery eyes multiple times throughout reading. An inspirational and hopeful story about raising kids not in the world as it is, but in the inclusive one we wish for them to have.
June 14, 2023
A memoir of one family's effort to raise a child without assigning them a gender at birth based upon their genitalia, allowing the child to form their own identity and gender expression. For all parents trying to be more open and less binary in the way they raise their kids, this should be helpful.
April 16, 2021
I would rate this a 4.5. It was so eye opening!
October 2, 2025
It totally fascinated me! Raising a child w/out identifying their gender until they do so when they’re ready. ( including family and friends). Referred to as they or them - no he nor she. Very difficult for the parents, and luckily no siblings. Generic clothing, toys, books, haircuts, etc. refer to themselves as a child, or friend, family or whatever relationship they are. The goal was to raise a confident, compassionate, and self aware person. This may be what the norm will become: Gender Creative Parenting.
February 6, 2022
Surprisingly touching and sentimental
July 3, 2025
greatful Kyl gave the world this resource thank you !
June 28, 2022
Je mets 4 étoiles pour le thème, la démarche et parce que je suis Kyl Myers depuis des années sur les réseaux sociaux, mais c'est vrai qu'il s'agit avant tout d'un mémoire personnel (où toutes les personnes sont gentilles et qu'aucun obstacle ne semble jamais se dresser contre le gender-creative parenting) et non d'un essai truffé d'informations sur la parentalité queer, ce qui peut laisser sur sa faim.
May 2, 2020
Book- Raising Them
Author - Kyl Myers
Genre- Memoir
I downloaded the book through @netgalley
My rating -4 ⭐
There can't be a better day than today to write about this book.
Exactly a year back, I started doing #GebderSensitization and #GenderTransformation workshops fir teenagers.
While it's fantastic to celebrate iconic and trail blazer women, I thought it was equally important to discuss why gender inequities exist in the first place.
Tentatively, I embarked on this journey- I was also learning, debating, arguing, listening and understanding issues, along with my students.
To initiate this discussion without making it a preachy lecture, I formatted some language activities and games. We then moved on to drawing sketches for trigger words, watching videos and pictures and even advertisements.
My viewpoint- Gender inequity is taught! Other than for that one organ being different, all humans are more or less similar. But we have allowed that one difference to make us believe that 'Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars'! How can we expect gender equality, when from day 1 we test the genders differently. Why are we surprised at the sure consequences that this creates!
Tests again and again have shown that children exposed to ditto contexts, without any prejudice, pick up more or less same skills and qualities.
This book is a memoir written by a mother. Kyl Myers and her partner Brent decide to do #gendercreativeparenting
They do not assign a gender to their child Sooner, and are waiting for them to decide for themself.
Head to @raisingzoomer for more details.
While I have definitely not done this kind of parenting, a lot of what @kyl_myers advocates, is what I do in my workshops.
I must agree that I feel validated and that I am on the right path.
#GenderEquality
#GenerationEquality
#InternationalWomensDay
#WomensDay2020
#RaisingThem
#Memoir
#NonFiction
#MarchReads
#NetGalley
#AdvanceReaderCopy
#BookRecommendation
Author - Kyl Myers
Genre- Memoir
I downloaded the book through @netgalley
My rating -4 ⭐
There can't be a better day than today to write about this book.
Exactly a year back, I started doing #GebderSensitization and #GenderTransformation workshops fir teenagers.
While it's fantastic to celebrate iconic and trail blazer women, I thought it was equally important to discuss why gender inequities exist in the first place.
Tentatively, I embarked on this journey- I was also learning, debating, arguing, listening and understanding issues, along with my students.
To initiate this discussion without making it a preachy lecture, I formatted some language activities and games. We then moved on to drawing sketches for trigger words, watching videos and pictures and even advertisements.
My viewpoint- Gender inequity is taught! Other than for that one organ being different, all humans are more or less similar. But we have allowed that one difference to make us believe that 'Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars'! How can we expect gender equality, when from day 1 we test the genders differently. Why are we surprised at the sure consequences that this creates!
Tests again and again have shown that children exposed to ditto contexts, without any prejudice, pick up more or less same skills and qualities.
This book is a memoir written by a mother. Kyl Myers and her partner Brent decide to do #gendercreativeparenting
They do not assign a gender to their child Sooner, and are waiting for them to decide for themself.
Head to @raisingzoomer for more details.
While I have definitely not done this kind of parenting, a lot of what @kyl_myers advocates, is what I do in my workshops.
I must agree that I feel validated and that I am on the right path.
#GenderEquality
#GenerationEquality
#InternationalWomensDay
#WomensDay2020
#RaisingThem
#Memoir
#NonFiction
#MarchReads
#NetGalley
#AdvanceReaderCopy
#BookRecommendation
Displaying 1 - 30 of 107 reviews