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The Comparison Cure: How to be less ‘them' and more you
Lucy Sheridan, the world's first and only comparison coach, has helped thousands of people go from compare and despair to #comparisonfree, and now she has condensed all of that liberating knowledge into The Comparison Cure. With a three-step tried and tested methodology to help you improve your self-worth and self-confidence (#1 recognise the symptoms; #2 start practising the remedies; and #3 keep your good new habits going), you will soon be able to let go of procrastination and start living a comparison-free life.
Packed full of tips, examples and exercises to help you take back control of who you are and what you want, this positive and empowering book is the timely and necessary antidote we all need to the toxic comparison culture we're living in.
272 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 26, 2019
137 people are currently reading
1114 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews
May 24, 2020
The author has a really warm and compassionate voice. Reading the book felt like having a drink with your bestie who is giving you the much-needed pep talk. I have checked the author’s social media account and she seems a genuinely sweet person. I am sure she has aided many people in their journey to emotional well being. And she calls herself a coach, not a psychotherapist.
However, I can't imagine this book offering any new insights to anyone who has ever done some 3 AM self-analysis driven by existential dread. It boldly claims to cure you from comparing yourself to others. The whole 272 pages of it though, can be summed as - if you are working towards your own goals and have passion for the thing you do, you will care less of what others are doing. It is largely advice on how to do your “inner work” and how to be a more “authentic version of yourself”. Taking notes, starting the morning with yoga, self-care etc. There were quite a few good insights but the majority of it was pretty bland and obvious. On top of that it was heavily social media targeted - a lot of advice was in the lines of “don’t worry if you don’t have 50k followers in six months, you’ll get there!”
The self-help genre tends to “one size fits all". Of course, doing your own thing won’t cure you of comparing yourself to others. It might alleviate it to a tolerable degree but our self-worth and self-esteem is something that fluctuates constantly and is deeply rooted in childhood and dependent on many other factors. I am a firm believer in psychoanalytic therapy. Improving one's mental health is hard work and but in the end, you have a new perspective on yourself. And it is work that never ends.
I dare to say that books like that are almost an insult to the complexities of human nature. They simplify things to no end. No more than a magazine column advertised as a magical cure, a straw for the hesitant, a quick read for those who can’t afford more. And you may end up questioning “Why it doesn’t work? Why am I still feeling inadequate?”
Being curious about oneself, analysing oneself and having the resources to do that, we must never forget, is a privilege. Many people don’t have the time, means and opportunities to address the traumas or insecurities they are carrying around. Self-help, I’ve always thought, often diminish the vast ocean that our inner world is to a mere note taking and goal targeting. You may say that this is the monetizable format we have nowadays, short and easily digestible. Yes, true, but it can be done well too - Esther Perel for a good example.
However, I can't imagine this book offering any new insights to anyone who has ever done some 3 AM self-analysis driven by existential dread. It boldly claims to cure you from comparing yourself to others. The whole 272 pages of it though, can be summed as - if you are working towards your own goals and have passion for the thing you do, you will care less of what others are doing. It is largely advice on how to do your “inner work” and how to be a more “authentic version of yourself”. Taking notes, starting the morning with yoga, self-care etc. There were quite a few good insights but the majority of it was pretty bland and obvious. On top of that it was heavily social media targeted - a lot of advice was in the lines of “don’t worry if you don’t have 50k followers in six months, you’ll get there!”
The self-help genre tends to “one size fits all". Of course, doing your own thing won’t cure you of comparing yourself to others. It might alleviate it to a tolerable degree but our self-worth and self-esteem is something that fluctuates constantly and is deeply rooted in childhood and dependent on many other factors. I am a firm believer in psychoanalytic therapy. Improving one's mental health is hard work and but in the end, you have a new perspective on yourself. And it is work that never ends.
I dare to say that books like that are almost an insult to the complexities of human nature. They simplify things to no end. No more than a magazine column advertised as a magical cure, a straw for the hesitant, a quick read for those who can’t afford more. And you may end up questioning “Why it doesn’t work? Why am I still feeling inadequate?”
Being curious about oneself, analysing oneself and having the resources to do that, we must never forget, is a privilege. Many people don’t have the time, means and opportunities to address the traumas or insecurities they are carrying around. Self-help, I’ve always thought, often diminish the vast ocean that our inner world is to a mere note taking and goal targeting. You may say that this is the monetizable format we have nowadays, short and easily digestible. Yes, true, but it can be done well too - Esther Perel for a good example.
February 9, 2020
I took my time with this book and I am very glad I did. I started it on a train to Amsterdam, on my way to spend time with myself and my family. It was the full moon so it felt appropriate. It took me one lunar cycle exactly to get through this book and all the exercises. Such an inspiring and honest read. I made me realise a few things actually, I am very self-aware already which was a nice finding but there are many barriers and self-limiting beliefs that this book highlighted.
This book taught me and inspired me to be myself. Unapologetically.
This book taught me and inspired me to be myself. Unapologetically.
April 21, 2020
Will come back and review
March 10, 2020
I absolutely cannot rate this book highly enough!
I feel that I have explored so much about my personality and behavioural traits than ever before. I’m only on page 71 and can already feel myself becoming more self aware and feel how much it is helping me. Thankyou Lucy!
I feel that I have explored so much about my personality and behavioural traits than ever before. I’m only on page 71 and can already feel myself becoming more self aware and feel how much it is helping me. Thankyou Lucy!
March 11, 2020
As instagram turns ten this is the companion book you need to navigate the comparison that comes with contrasting our life with the picture perfect lifestyle portrayed in the portal that instagram provides us with.
Lucy is generous, informative,practical but never preachy in her approach to finding our way through potential pitfalls.
The book is divided into helpful sections and the beauty is you can take your time with each part.The format is practical as well as informative and offers real life experience and solutions.
Writing on the pages is fully encouraged and participation in the exercises will give you the best value.A book that could easily be re read.
Lucy is generous, informative,practical but never preachy in her approach to finding our way through potential pitfalls.
The book is divided into helpful sections and the beauty is you can take your time with each part.The format is practical as well as informative and offers real life experience and solutions.
Writing on the pages is fully encouraged and participation in the exercises will give you the best value.A book that could easily be re read.
February 12, 2022
Working as a coach myself who focuses mainly on expression, communication, psyche & shadow work this was a light read. The ideas and concepts are a good start for anyone who hasn't done some inner work or want to do some more inner work.
Though the description of her being the "only" comparisson coach is simply not true - maybe the name itself was very new in 2019 but the matter of comparisson as a form of imposter syndrome for e.g. is - at least in my circle of coaches etc. a widely topic that people include in their work just as it falls under the authentic and (self) expression topic. I don't pin this on the author tho, just the way some publishers express certain ways to push people to buy a book for said reason.
I didn't agree with some of the statements as they were 2 lightly / easy handled and the complexity to a human nature was missing. BUT from what I have seen and the way the book felt written it was a good approach. And certain depth for the complexity of a human nature and to understand how we as human being works + to write that into a book where the focus was (at least thats how it felt) was more lightly set - it was still a good and I would recommened it as a good beginners guide to deal with this topic.
Though the description of her being the "only" comparisson coach is simply not true - maybe the name itself was very new in 2019 but the matter of comparisson as a form of imposter syndrome for e.g. is - at least in my circle of coaches etc. a widely topic that people include in their work just as it falls under the authentic and (self) expression topic. I don't pin this on the author tho, just the way some publishers express certain ways to push people to buy a book for said reason.
I didn't agree with some of the statements as they were 2 lightly / easy handled and the complexity to a human nature was missing. BUT from what I have seen and the way the book felt written it was a good approach. And certain depth for the complexity of a human nature and to understand how we as human being works + to write that into a book where the focus was (at least thats how it felt) was more lightly set - it was still a good and I would recommened it as a good beginners guide to deal with this topic.
June 21, 2020
This book started out incredibly well, really made me evaluate my thoughts, past, and relationship with my self-confidence and the comparisons I made between myself and others.
The book started to take a down turn with the solutions to healing those issues, it open wounds that now aren't even close to closing.
Lots of solutions around work and relationships, but generic. Work around cutting out the negative people in your life.
The self confidence part was the most disappointing, comparing yourself to two cars, one an old banger, the other expensive and perfection.... This addresses the outer image of the car, not the engine.
My outer image is neat, tidy and we'll put together. It's the engine that's falling apart and the layer of rust under the body work ( my relationship with my physical body, not the one with fancy clothing on)
Very little in the book on our confidence starting relationships, with love, with our potential dates, an area that can be destroyed by lack of confidence, comparison and jealousy.
Disappointed, and now off to therapy to close the wounds opened from part one
The book started to take a down turn with the solutions to healing those issues, it open wounds that now aren't even close to closing.
Lots of solutions around work and relationships, but generic. Work around cutting out the negative people in your life.
The self confidence part was the most disappointing, comparing yourself to two cars, one an old banger, the other expensive and perfection.... This addresses the outer image of the car, not the engine.
My outer image is neat, tidy and we'll put together. It's the engine that's falling apart and the layer of rust under the body work ( my relationship with my physical body, not the one with fancy clothing on)
Very little in the book on our confidence starting relationships, with love, with our potential dates, an area that can be destroyed by lack of confidence, comparison and jealousy.
Disappointed, and now off to therapy to close the wounds opened from part one
June 16, 2021
DNF - read until 65%.
This book started sooo well.
I was so hyped by the first chapters - it's true coaching, and full of helpful tips to deal with your comparison habits. Until the middle of the book, it was a solid 4 stars to me.
But. The second part of the book is the problematic one, in my opinion. The author suddenly becomes a wannabe therapist, and throws us without proper warning into some very deep and existential questions/exercises, including a few of them about our past - which is not something coaching is supposed to do. Never. And even less without any professional supervision.
Some of the "answers" to our comparison habits are way too easy and questionable to me - toxic positivity, keeping our projects to ourselves because people will not really support us anyway (yes, including a best friend or a partner), ...
Encouraging people to cut through their defence mechanisms on their own, without the support of a therapist, can be truly devastating.
Also ; the idea of not needing an apology for what happened in the past. Sorry, what? You do not say that, when you do not know who will open your book, and which past trauma they might be living with...
This book started sooo well.
I was so hyped by the first chapters - it's true coaching, and full of helpful tips to deal with your comparison habits. Until the middle of the book, it was a solid 4 stars to me.
But. The second part of the book is the problematic one, in my opinion. The author suddenly becomes a wannabe therapist, and throws us without proper warning into some very deep and existential questions/exercises, including a few of them about our past - which is not something coaching is supposed to do. Never. And even less without any professional supervision.
Some of the "answers" to our comparison habits are way too easy and questionable to me - toxic positivity, keeping our projects to ourselves because people will not really support us anyway (yes, including a best friend or a partner), ...
Encouraging people to cut through their defence mechanisms on their own, without the support of a therapist, can be truly devastating.
Also ; the idea of not needing an apology for what happened in the past. Sorry, what? You do not say that, when you do not know who will open your book, and which past trauma they might be living with...
January 4, 2021
It's really a proactive user journal for those who are really seeking to change habits surrounding Instagram use. I think she had some good points but she's not a psychiatrist and this isn't a book for those seeking to find the root cause of their problems. She's a lovely girl though so I'd recommend it for anyone who is really looking to engage with something to make a change.
July 18, 2021
I bought the Audible book more than a year ago when I was experiencing a phase of self-imposed comparaison. Should I have listened to it then, I would have appreciated it a lot more. I finished it these days more due to my "OCD" habit of decluttering things than an actual interest in the topic. To conclude, I may not be the best judge here.
November 24, 2022
DNF! I heard the author on a podcast which led me to her book. She seems a nice person but the book was too superficial for me. There are better books written by therapists that get to the root cause of comparison. But if your not looking for a deep dive into that it has some helpful journaling prompts. I would say the main message is stay off social media if you want a peaceful life 😂
August 4, 2020
A really great read. Happily, I feel like not all of it applied to me, but the parts which did really resonated. I found some parts really helpful and useful and it's definitely made me think about how I deal with comparison.
June 4, 2022
Average
Very superficial, feels like it's aimed at a younger age group who
want to be famous on social media. I can't even think of I'm actually taking away anything from this book. I'm actually glad to be finished so i can move onto something else
Very superficial, feels like it's aimed at a younger age group who
want to be famous on social media. I can't even think of I'm actually taking away anything from this book. I'm actually glad to be finished so i can move onto something else
January 2, 2024
This book will be so helpful to some people but it didn't do it for me
It reminded me a lot of the swell of 'self help' books in 2010s that were like blogs but with a few useful nuggets here and there.
It reminded me a lot of the swell of 'self help' books in 2010s that were like blogs but with a few useful nuggets here and there.
Read
February 27, 2020Inspiring!! There are so many helpful tips and activities. I'm going to reread and take lots more notes there is so much there!
June 7, 2020
Very useful tool, can't recommend enough!
July 7, 2020
Listened to audiobook version!
Some good insights and read by the author who has a lovely voice!
Some good insights and read by the author who has a lovely voice!
August 27, 2020
I enjoy this book a lot because it is very practical. It's hard work trying get through the exercises. This is not an easy read if you have a genuine comparison problem.
October 1, 2020
A good book with lots of helpful journaling prompts and actionable advice. Writing style is also really approachable.
December 5, 2021
I generally didn’t enjoy this. I love what the author is trying to achieve, but it just didn’t connect with me which is very disappointing.
December 5, 2021
This took me a while to get through, however I found some real pearls of wisdom and have dog eared pages to return to.
December 26, 2021
Didn’t finish it
May 21, 2024
Can’t believe this doesn’t have 5 stars. I stumbled upon this book and it was one of the best I’ve read! I love it!!
February 8, 2022
I recommend reading this book and following Lucy Sheridan on Instagram and/or YouTube. She is the living embodiment of a hug. ❤️
The book was a little repetitive, especially in the second half, but overall it was a good read.
The book was a little repetitive, especially in the second half, but overall it was a good read.
March 31, 2023
Fazit: Zunächst einmal hat mich das Cover angesprochen, weswegen ich mir das Buch gekauft habe. Gleich zu Anfang ist mir dann auch der Schreibstil aufgefallen, der sehr angenehm zu lesen war. Das Buch ist auf Englisch, aber trotzdem wirklich sehr verständlich.
Der Einstieg in das Buch war motivierend, wodurch ich gleich Lust hatte, mehr über die Techniken zu erfahren. Nebenbei wurden auch persönliche Storys bzw. Erfahrungen der Autor*in erzählt, was das Ganze etwas abgerundet hat und wirklich schön war.
Gleichzeitig gab es in jedem Kapitel ein paar Seiten, in denen man selber Fragen beantworten und sich mit seinen Problemen auseinandersetzen musste. Die Idee fand ich sehr gut, aber leider muss ich anmerken, das die Darstellung als E-Book einige Fragen nicht komplett abgebildet hat, wodurch ich auch nichts beantwortet habe. In dem Fall wäre das Printexemplar etwas Besser gewesen, da man dort auch hineinschreiben hätte können. Das hat aber weniger mit der Qualität des Buches zu tun.
Generell hat mir das Buch aber wichtige Erkenntnisse, im Bezug auf das Vergleichen mit anderen und die Konzentration auf einen selbst, gegeben.
Ich gebe dem Buch 4/5 Sterne, da es auf jeden Fall eine Leseerfahrung wert ist. Meinerseits also definitiv eine Leseempfehlung für alle, die sich immer mal wieder mit anderen Vergleichen, sei es durch Social Media oder im "wahren" Leben, aber auch für alle, die sich mehr mit sich selber auseinandersetzen wollen.
Der Einstieg in das Buch war motivierend, wodurch ich gleich Lust hatte, mehr über die Techniken zu erfahren. Nebenbei wurden auch persönliche Storys bzw. Erfahrungen der Autor*in erzählt, was das Ganze etwas abgerundet hat und wirklich schön war.
Gleichzeitig gab es in jedem Kapitel ein paar Seiten, in denen man selber Fragen beantworten und sich mit seinen Problemen auseinandersetzen musste. Die Idee fand ich sehr gut, aber leider muss ich anmerken, das die Darstellung als E-Book einige Fragen nicht komplett abgebildet hat, wodurch ich auch nichts beantwortet habe. In dem Fall wäre das Printexemplar etwas Besser gewesen, da man dort auch hineinschreiben hätte können. Das hat aber weniger mit der Qualität des Buches zu tun.
Generell hat mir das Buch aber wichtige Erkenntnisse, im Bezug auf das Vergleichen mit anderen und die Konzentration auf einen selbst, gegeben.
Ich gebe dem Buch 4/5 Sterne, da es auf jeden Fall eine Leseerfahrung wert ist. Meinerseits also definitiv eine Leseempfehlung für alle, die sich immer mal wieder mit anderen Vergleichen, sei es durch Social Media oder im "wahren" Leben, aber auch für alle, die sich mehr mit sich selber auseinandersetzen wollen.
November 21, 2024
This book has been on my shelf for YEARS and I’ve never reached for it, and I wish I had sooner! This is one of my favourite non-fictions I’ve read. I loved the journaling aspect and felt that the book really made me dig deep, look inside myself and unveil some deep rooted areas for improvement. The positive focus, the supportive words and phrases were excellent and I felt guided the whole way. I will take so much with me from this book and I feel truly inspired to better myself and be kinder to myself.
May 21, 2023
I couldn’t give this book a star rating as I couldn’t finish it. It is a very interactive book with lots of exercises but I think it is only useful if comparison is an issue that resonates with you. If you are interested in self development in general and are not looking for ways to improve your mindset in the areas of comparison or jealousy, I wouldn’t pick this book up yet.
March 31, 2020
Honestly thinking of scrapping the reading challenge this year and just reading this again and again until it truly sinks in. A must-read for anyone with low self worth and a tendency to spiral in comparing yourself to others (especially on social media).
Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews