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Borderline Mother: Unmask the negative impact of having a BPD mother, understand the truth and the methods of healing the unique wounds inflicted from infancy to adulthood
If you were raised by a BPD parent, your childhood would more than likely have been an unstable and painful experience. Children raised by mothers with borderline personality disorder are at risk of developing the same kind of emotional problems. They may find themselves facing seemingly insurmountable obstacles in order to overcome their parent's dysfunctional attitudes, and it may be necessary to seek professional help to work on such feelings. If you have experienced these issues as a child, you may have low self-esteem or suffer from anger or depression. Recognising that these problems are not a choice, but the consequences of your mother's disorder, is a necessary first step towards healing your emotional wounds. Adult children of BDP parents are often afflicted with so much guilt and such a strong sense of profound obligation and shame that they feel obliged to keep secret all that has happened in the family, even when it is destroying their lives. These people can find it really difficult to share their experiences because mothers with BPD are usually very good at creating the perfect family image for outsiders to the family. I advise you to read this book if any of these symptoms sound Many readers can recognize their mothers and themselves in this book Often the children of borderline mothers are terrified of their attitudes and remain paralyzed by failing to react, others find courage but find themselves without the right tools to face them. Looking for help from friends and acquaintances could not be the best solution, they will try to minimize or simply say that you are overdoing it. Don't take it out on them, they won't understand you because they haven't experienced certain dynamics in their lives. What you need to learn There are many other situations that will be listed within this book. Knowing the right information allows you to contain the damage and avoid unnecessary suffering The internal dynamics and long-term unresolved traumas can create irreversible damage to your sanity, threatening future emotional and mental stability, so it is important to take immediate action. If you are tired of carrying this weight every day and want to finally make a change in your life this book has been written especially for you. Heal the deep wounds of the child within you
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- GenresPsychology
124 pages, Kindle Edition
Published December 26, 2019
61 people are currently reading
110 people want to read
About the author
David Lawson
24 books7 followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author by this name in the Goodreads database.
David Lawson, PhD is a writer and researcher whose main focus is on mental well-being. With his courses and his coaching activity he has helped many people solve problems with personality disorders, self-perception and depression. He is considered to be a promoter of the well-being of the individual with a holistic approach that, over the years, has allowed him to achieve extraordinarily positive results. He is both loved and criticized for his friendly and sometimes direct approach.
It is helpful to think that true success occurs when you act on a daily basis. Habits are essential for achieving goals and for living the life you want to live.
Unlike other personal development guides, its content focuses on action.
David Lawson, PhD is a writer and researcher whose main focus is on mental well-being. With his courses and his coaching activity he has helped many people solve problems with personality disorders, self-perception and depression. He is considered to be a promoter of the well-being of the individual with a holistic approach that, over the years, has allowed him to achieve extraordinarily positive results. He is both loved and criticized for his friendly and sometimes direct approach.
It is helpful to think that true success occurs when you act on a daily basis. Habits are essential for achieving goals and for living the life you want to live.
Unlike other personal development guides, its content focuses on action.
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
September 25, 2021
Unrealistic and poorly researched
The only reason I did not give only a single star is that the author does a reasonable job describing BPD and I can see have that might be helpful to some who are searching for an explanation. As a mental health professional with a BPD mother I found much of the book frustrating and not constructive to a better understanding of what children of abusive, mentally-ill parents often experience.
Yes, our mothers suffered too and deserve forgiveness. That said, the author does very little to address healthy boundaries for the future with that parent as an adult—many of whom continue to engage in destructive behaviors. Also, telling a person suffering from an addiction “to stop being addicted” and “forget you ever were addicted” is irresponsible and shows a startling naïveté and grotesque ignorance about addiction! Ditto for telling a person suffering from depression to stop being depressed. Gee, I wish I had thought of telling THAT to my clinically depressed patients who have struggled with addiction most of their lives since being abused by mentally ill parents…irresponsible by the author to suggest such things to a potentially suffering reader!
Kudos for a few good comments, but overall-I do not recommend this book and will not use it as a reference for my patients to read. Be forewarned -and don’t read this book without a debrief by a therapist or psychiatrist after! (I’m not jesting here…some of this book is recklessly bad).
The only reason I did not give only a single star is that the author does a reasonable job describing BPD and I can see have that might be helpful to some who are searching for an explanation. As a mental health professional with a BPD mother I found much of the book frustrating and not constructive to a better understanding of what children of abusive, mentally-ill parents often experience.
Yes, our mothers suffered too and deserve forgiveness. That said, the author does very little to address healthy boundaries for the future with that parent as an adult—many of whom continue to engage in destructive behaviors. Also, telling a person suffering from an addiction “to stop being addicted” and “forget you ever were addicted” is irresponsible and shows a startling naïveté and grotesque ignorance about addiction! Ditto for telling a person suffering from depression to stop being depressed. Gee, I wish I had thought of telling THAT to my clinically depressed patients who have struggled with addiction most of their lives since being abused by mentally ill parents…irresponsible by the author to suggest such things to a potentially suffering reader!
Kudos for a few good comments, but overall-I do not recommend this book and will not use it as a reference for my patients to read. Be forewarned -and don’t read this book without a debrief by a therapist or psychiatrist after! (I’m not jesting here…some of this book is recklessly bad).
May 29, 2022
Interesting reviews; appears did not read what the book was about first - which is helping in recovery of growing up in a house with a parent whom has borderline personality disorder.
Personally, the first chapter already validated me along with slapping me across the face about taking my own responsibility for how my mother’s worldview affected me. This book is good for those in their stage of reflection on childhood, and ready to unlearn and relearn the realities of the world aside from their childhood experiences.
This book is not written for mother’s with bpd; if you are a mother with bpd, this book will only trigger anger and pain for you. However, it could also help you gain insight as to your own issues and how they’ve affected your children.
There were some shocking statements for me - but I understood the intention. A huge issue with BPD is living in victim mode, and most of us with a BPD parent have BPD as well - our nurture was bpd. Forgetting the chapter of addiction shocked me at first, but I realized the point is removing the victim hood from yourself and being able to life free without a label. Cheers!
Personally, the first chapter already validated me along with slapping me across the face about taking my own responsibility for how my mother’s worldview affected me. This book is good for those in their stage of reflection on childhood, and ready to unlearn and relearn the realities of the world aside from their childhood experiences.
This book is not written for mother’s with bpd; if you are a mother with bpd, this book will only trigger anger and pain for you. However, it could also help you gain insight as to your own issues and how they’ve affected your children.
There were some shocking statements for me - but I understood the intention. A huge issue with BPD is living in victim mode, and most of us with a BPD parent have BPD as well - our nurture was bpd. Forgetting the chapter of addiction shocked me at first, but I realized the point is removing the victim hood from yourself and being able to life free without a label. Cheers!
July 12, 2020
Maybe, probably not
I am a mother with BPD. 99.9% of this i do not agree with. At all. I have 3 grown, very functional and healthy children. We are close, my daughters being my closest friends. My mother does not have BPD. I did not inherit this. It just became a part of my identity due to circumstances. I did not abuse my children on any level. The father was present until the youngest was 12. At that point life got a bit crazy, but it brought my teenage children and i together, not apart. We were a unified support system. So, here again. I do not agree with this book in the least. I give it 4 stars because i recognize that i am a functioning human with BPD. There are others with less ability to control their actions or are at a more severe level of BPD than myself. So, that being said, I acknowledge this book may help children of those more severe cases. I read it thinking it would give me insight to how my children view me, but since pretty much nothing applies, it just upset me. Hopefully, this book will assist others.
I am a mother with BPD. 99.9% of this i do not agree with. At all. I have 3 grown, very functional and healthy children. We are close, my daughters being my closest friends. My mother does not have BPD. I did not inherit this. It just became a part of my identity due to circumstances. I did not abuse my children on any level. The father was present until the youngest was 12. At that point life got a bit crazy, but it brought my teenage children and i together, not apart. We were a unified support system. So, here again. I do not agree with this book in the least. I give it 4 stars because i recognize that i am a functioning human with BPD. There are others with less ability to control their actions or are at a more severe level of BPD than myself. So, that being said, I acknowledge this book may help children of those more severe cases. I read it thinking it would give me insight to how my children view me, but since pretty much nothing applies, it just upset me. Hopefully, this book will assist others.
January 23, 2020
Not What I Expected
This book is focused for a certain type of person - someone whose BPD mother was BPD when they were a child and is still alive. For that person, I suspect this book would be helpful.
It wasn’t for me. My mother didn’t slide down this path until I was an adult, and she has passed away. I didn’t have the childhood experiences and cannot use the healing recommendations in this book.
If you fit the target audience, it could be helpful. If you don’t, don’t bother reading it.
This book is focused for a certain type of person - someone whose BPD mother was BPD when they were a child and is still alive. For that person, I suspect this book would be helpful.
It wasn’t for me. My mother didn’t slide down this path until I was an adult, and she has passed away. I didn’t have the childhood experiences and cannot use the healing recommendations in this book.
If you fit the target audience, it could be helpful. If you don’t, don’t bother reading it.
October 9, 2020
Must read if you have a mother with BPD
This book discusses mothers with borderline personality disorder and the children affected by the mother's mental illness. This book shows you how to forgive and heal from childhood trauma.
This book discusses mothers with borderline personality disorder and the children affected by the mother's mental illness. This book shows you how to forgive and heal from childhood trauma.
December 31, 2022
It was ok. Wasn’t the best. This book was written as the first step of healing and understanding but i’m on year 5 of my journey so wasn’t anything new for me.
October 5, 2023
This book was written in a terrible unreadable syntax. It’s like it was translated from another language on google translate.
October 28, 2021
Basic, careful what you read
3.5 Stars
Careful what you read. This book garnered a round up to 4 stars simply because it was (thankfully) a short read that did not take up too much time. Understandably, there may be those out there who feel this approach is helpful and definitive and my opinion is just a bunch of worthless words. I felt the first part of the book was a drawn out example of victimisation then followed up by potential steps of a healing process. I suppose, however, that was the point of the book. The part about the healing process I found to be of interest and applicable to several aspects of life even if it was tailored to BPD. To be clear, having worked in mental health the majority of my life, BPD is by far my least favourite patient, and that I have least patience for. Uncouth, I know.
Fo those seeking something on this topic of which they can relate to, this may be it. I think the last half of the book gives some excellent references on how to be take control of the self and move forward. Which, in my my humble opinion, is all any of us can do.
3.5 Stars
Careful what you read. This book garnered a round up to 4 stars simply because it was (thankfully) a short read that did not take up too much time. Understandably, there may be those out there who feel this approach is helpful and definitive and my opinion is just a bunch of worthless words. I felt the first part of the book was a drawn out example of victimisation then followed up by potential steps of a healing process. I suppose, however, that was the point of the book. The part about the healing process I found to be of interest and applicable to several aspects of life even if it was tailored to BPD. To be clear, having worked in mental health the majority of my life, BPD is by far my least favourite patient, and that I have least patience for. Uncouth, I know.
Fo those seeking something on this topic of which they can relate to, this may be it. I think the last half of the book gives some excellent references on how to be take control of the self and move forward. Which, in my my humble opinion, is all any of us can do.
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews