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Dropping the Habit
SHE MADE HER CHOICE AT 14. MUST IT BE A LIFE SENTENCE?
Marion Dante always knew she would be a nun. She was born in answer to prayer and she was her mother's "sin offering". Because she was conceived out of wedlock, her mother promised God that she would offer her back to Him.
So at the age of 14, enclosed and indoctrinated, she started her training
to become a nun. Now, 30 years later, she finds herself wrestling with doubts and misery. Shunned by many of the nuns who have been her only family for her whole adult life, she begins the process that will free her.
But freedom is a terrifying prospect. Like a caged bird, she clings to her prison bars. Even simple matters like wearing a short skirt, ordering a cup of tea in a restaurant, making everyday chatter with a stranger on a bus are all mountains to climb. Having to confront an ATM machine is almost enough to send her scuttling back to the convent!
She must ask herself the if she drops the habit, who then will she be? Who is Marion Dante without the convent walls?
In this gripping, honest book, Marion bares her soul. She also opens the door to the convent and invites us in. In the stressful hustle and bustle of modern life, have you ever envied the ease, security and peace of a nun's life? Think again...
Marion Dante always knew she would be a nun. She was born in answer to prayer and she was her mother's "sin offering". Because she was conceived out of wedlock, her mother promised God that she would offer her back to Him.
So at the age of 14, enclosed and indoctrinated, she started her training
to become a nun. Now, 30 years later, she finds herself wrestling with doubts and misery. Shunned by many of the nuns who have been her only family for her whole adult life, she begins the process that will free her.
But freedom is a terrifying prospect. Like a caged bird, she clings to her prison bars. Even simple matters like wearing a short skirt, ordering a cup of tea in a restaurant, making everyday chatter with a stranger on a bus are all mountains to climb. Having to confront an ATM machine is almost enough to send her scuttling back to the convent!
She must ask herself the if she drops the habit, who then will she be? Who is Marion Dante without the convent walls?
In this gripping, honest book, Marion bares her soul. She also opens the door to the convent and invites us in. In the stressful hustle and bustle of modern life, have you ever envied the ease, security and peace of a nun's life? Think again...
294 pages, Paperback
First published March 8, 2011
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
February 6, 2019
Overall, the story interested me. Marion Dante's life is on display, and I admire her courage at having led such a life and, more so, having shared it with us. That said, I find the book needs better organizing, better structure. A lot of times I was confused by sudden jumps in time, or the start of a chapter being so far ahead from the last one. Moreover, I felt too much needed to be said in the final chapters, almost like she was in a rush and tacked on events without balancing the overall story.
April 21, 2026
When Dante was fourteen, she pledged to become a nun—and become a nun she did. Her family had emigrated from Ireland to England, and at the time (the late 1950s) it was not unheard of for a child to make the decision to go into the church...so Dante's schooling switched to something partly academic but partly vocational. And she was happy, for a while.
Most of the book is split between two periods of time: First, Dante's younger life leading up to her early years in the convent, and second, the time she spent deciding whether to leave the life she'd spent decades in, and what happened after she left. Some of the content about her early years is heartbreaking—the idea that someone who was conceived out of wedlock might be barred from religious life despite having no control over that! The idea that being conceived out of wedlock is something to be ashamed of!
I'm always curious about people's experiences with religious life—religion in general is interesting, but of course most people, even if observant, don't dedicate themselves to a religious order. Dante's order (the Salesians) emphasized education and community work, so she was by no means cloistered, but eventually she realized it wasn't enough, or it wasn't enough anymore, or there was still so much else she wanted out of her life.
There's quite a lot of back and forth about Dante deciding whether or not to stay—again, by the time she left, it had been decades; she was no longer a young woman, and not all avenues for the future (e.g., having biological children) were still open to her. I would have liked a better understanding of how her disenchantment with being a nun came about; we get quite a lot about how miserable she was over making the decision and the dread she felt at the idea of going back, but I never quite figured out when that disenchantment started or what things looked like between becoming a nun and starting the ball rolling on leaving.
Not quite what I was hoping for, but I hope it was cathartic for Dante to write.
Most of the book is split between two periods of time: First, Dante's younger life leading up to her early years in the convent, and second, the time she spent deciding whether to leave the life she'd spent decades in, and what happened after she left. Some of the content about her early years is heartbreaking—the idea that someone who was conceived out of wedlock might be barred from religious life despite having no control over that! The idea that being conceived out of wedlock is something to be ashamed of!
I'm always curious about people's experiences with religious life—religion in general is interesting, but of course most people, even if observant, don't dedicate themselves to a religious order. Dante's order (the Salesians) emphasized education and community work, so she was by no means cloistered, but eventually she realized it wasn't enough, or it wasn't enough anymore, or there was still so much else she wanted out of her life.
There's quite a lot of back and forth about Dante deciding whether or not to stay—again, by the time she left, it had been decades; she was no longer a young woman, and not all avenues for the future (e.g., having biological children) were still open to her. I would have liked a better understanding of how her disenchantment with being a nun came about; we get quite a lot about how miserable she was over making the decision and the dread she felt at the idea of going back, but I never quite figured out when that disenchantment started or what things looked like between becoming a nun and starting the ball rolling on leaving.
Not quite what I was hoping for, but I hope it was cathartic for Dante to write.
April 18, 2010
Very interesting story on the life of a Ex-Nun who became dissillusioned with the convent life, she also talks about how she coped with life as a lay person for the first time.
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March 1, 2016changing the behavior
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews