What do you think?
Rate this book
Life's a Beach #4
Cry Uncle
With a hit man after her, Seattle architect Pamela Hayes needs to hide, and she runs as far as she can: to steamy Key West., Florida. Jonas Brenner, a local bar owner, is about to lose custody of his orphaned five-year-old niece—unless he can convince the courts that he’s a responsible father. What he needs is a prim and proper wife who will create the illusion that his niece is being raised in a stable environment. What Pam needs is a new identity. Joe offers her a deal: if she marries him and takes his name, no Pacific Northwest hit man is going to find her. In return, she can pose as Joe’s respectable wife, dutifully caring for his wild-child niece. Of course, this will be a marriage in name only. No sex. No emotions. No love. Which, once Pam and Joe move in together and the sparks begin to fly, is easier said than done.
“When a classy architect joins in a marriage of convenience with a slightly scruffy bartender to hide from a hit man out to kill her, frustration runs high, making both want to CRY UNCLE and get on with the loving. Judith Arnold is a perennial favorite whose keen wit and way with mystery always hits the mark.****½”—RT Book Reviews
“When a classy architect joins in a marriage of convenience with a slightly scruffy bartender to hide from a hit man out to kill her, frustration runs high, making both want to CRY UNCLE and get on with the loving. Judith Arnold is a perennial favorite whose keen wit and way with mystery always hits the mark.****½”—RT Book Reviews
234 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 1, 1995
89 people are currently reading
462 people want to read
About the author
Judith Arnold
183 books173 followersBarbara Keiler
aka Ariel Berk, Thea Frederick, Judith Arnold
Barbara Keiler was born on April 7th. She started telling stories before shecould write. She was four when her sister, Carolyn, stuffed a crayon intoher hand and taught her the alphabet, and she's been writing ever since.
Barbara is a graduate of Smith College, where she learned to aim for thestars, and she received a master's degree in creative writing from BrownUniversity, where she took aim at a good-looking graduate student in thechemistry department and wound up marrying him. She says: "Before myhusband and I were married, I had a job in California and he was working onhis Ph.D. in Rhode Island. I became ill, and he hopped on a plane and flewacross the country to be with me. Neither of us had any money, but he saidhe simply couldn't concentrate on his research, knowing I was three thousandmiles away and facing a serious health problem all by myself. He stayed fortwo weeks, until I was pretty well recovered. That he would just drop whathe was doing, put his life on hold and race to my side told me how much heloved me. After that, I knew this was the man I wanted to marry."
Barbara has received writing fellowships from the Shubert Foundation and theNational Endowment for the Arts, and has taught at colleges and universitiesaround the country. She has also written several plays that have beenprofessionally staged at regional theaters in San Francisco, Washington, D.C.,Connecticut and off-off-Broadway.
Since her first romance novel's publication in 1983 as Ariel Berk. Shewrote one novel as Thea Frederick, and since 1985 she writes asJudith Arnold. Barbara has sold more than 70 novels, with eight millioncopies in print worldwide. She has recently signed a contract with MIRABooks. Her first MIRA novel will appear in 2001. She has received severalawards from Romantic Times Magazine, including awards for the Best HarlequinAmerican Romance of the Year, Best Harlequin Superromance of the Year, BestSeries Romantic Novel of the Year and a Lifetime Achievement Certificate ofMerit for Innovative Series Romance. She has also been a finalist for theGolden Medallion Award and the RITA Award for Romance Writer of America. Hernovel Barefoot in the Grass has appeared on the recommended reading listsdistributed by cancer support services at several hospitals.
Barbara lives in a small town not far from Boston, Massachusetts, New England with her husband, two teenage sons, and a guinea pig named Wilbur. Her sister Carolyn died of breast cancer in 1998.
aka Ariel Berk, Thea Frederick, Judith Arnold
Barbara Keiler was born on April 7th. She started telling stories before shecould write. She was four when her sister, Carolyn, stuffed a crayon intoher hand and taught her the alphabet, and she's been writing ever since.
Barbara is a graduate of Smith College, where she learned to aim for thestars, and she received a master's degree in creative writing from BrownUniversity, where she took aim at a good-looking graduate student in thechemistry department and wound up marrying him. She says: "Before myhusband and I were married, I had a job in California and he was working onhis Ph.D. in Rhode Island. I became ill, and he hopped on a plane and flewacross the country to be with me. Neither of us had any money, but he saidhe simply couldn't concentrate on his research, knowing I was three thousandmiles away and facing a serious health problem all by myself. He stayed fortwo weeks, until I was pretty well recovered. That he would just drop whathe was doing, put his life on hold and race to my side told me how much heloved me. After that, I knew this was the man I wanted to marry."
Barbara has received writing fellowships from the Shubert Foundation and theNational Endowment for the Arts, and has taught at colleges and universitiesaround the country. She has also written several plays that have beenprofessionally staged at regional theaters in San Francisco, Washington, D.C.,Connecticut and off-off-Broadway.
Since her first romance novel's publication in 1983 as Ariel Berk. Shewrote one novel as Thea Frederick, and since 1985 she writes asJudith Arnold. Barbara has sold more than 70 novels, with eight millioncopies in print worldwide. She has recently signed a contract with MIRABooks. Her first MIRA novel will appear in 2001. She has received severalawards from Romantic Times Magazine, including awards for the Best HarlequinAmerican Romance of the Year, Best Harlequin Superromance of the Year, BestSeries Romantic Novel of the Year and a Lifetime Achievement Certificate ofMerit for Innovative Series Romance. She has also been a finalist for theGolden Medallion Award and the RITA Award for Romance Writer of America. Hernovel Barefoot in the Grass has appeared on the recommended reading listsdistributed by cancer support services at several hospitals.
Barbara lives in a small town not far from Boston, Massachusetts, New England with her husband, two teenage sons, and a guinea pig named Wilbur. Her sister Carolyn died of breast cancer in 1998.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 74 reviews
March 18, 2012
Decent book. The hero & heroine are opposites, she is prissy with her mind only on her career, he is a bar owner and father to his niece and kind of scruffy looking. They get married since she needs to change her name because of a hit-man and he wants to retain custody of his niece. His niece was a handful and Pam used to order and structure took some time to adjust but pretty soon she was hand-painting etc.
The heroine Pam wasn't the hero's type, she was skinny and leagues beyond him but he started wanting her and because of that ignoring her but when she calls him on it, he starts making an effort.
I liked the book, didn't love it since the romance was just missing a zing.
The heroine Pam wasn't the hero's type, she was skinny and leagues beyond him but he started wanting her and because of that ignoring her but when she calls him on it, he starts making an effort.
I liked the book, didn't love it since the romance was just missing a zing.
June 19, 2012
Ok, I shouldn't have liked this as much as I did. It was a tad cheesy, and the plot had a few holes. Furthermore, it was one of those books where the hero and heroine just need to TALK IT OUT, already! They think and think and think about their feelings for one another, but remain frustratingly silent for no good reason. And it was frustrating. But it was a great plot, and Judith Arnold is a great writer, and so I didn't care so much about the little things. I enjoyed reading it. I loved the characters! And storyline grabbed me from page 1, and the good writing kept me turning the pages.
Minus one star because the hero and heroine didn't act in an entirely logical manner for most of the book.
Minus one star because the hero and heroine didn't act in an entirely logical manner for most of the book.
September 22, 2009
I loved this book. I can't believe I finally remembered the name of it. The hero and heroine get married, the hero so he can keep custody of his niece, and the heroine for business. She is a real ice queen, but the hero's laidback, loving ways and his sweet niece melt her heart. What a great book!
February 11, 2020
Puedes encontrar esta reseña en español al final.
Part of the anthology Marriage of Convenience Boxed Set.
I began to read this story open-eyed. These days marriage of convenience without the words green card or visa nowhere near is something that is going to be hard to believe, but hey, if the story is interesting enough, I can turn a blind eye. Obviously, it has not been so.
There are some things that have worked here, such as the MC´s. The author manages to paint the two most diametrically opposed people in the world entering an agreement to, figuratively one and literally the other, save their lives. So no complaints on this front.
Despite being so different, the attraction is there and is realistic. It was interesting.
Everything starts to fail as soon as Lizard (the 5-year-old niece) enters the scene. And the more she apperas, the worse.
The whole story revolves around Lizard (aka Elizabeth), and I can't, not even for a moment, think that the best thing for that creature is to live with his uncle and that compendium of picturesque people. The girl is the most detestable child character I've read in romancelandia. And, either her uncle loses her custody, or she is going to become an insufferable and rude young woman.
I imagine that, although Pamela, the heroine, has complained that she does not have a maternal bone in her body, after spending 4 afternoons with the child the latter will become an angel and the former will be awarded Mother of the Year. I already know this, of course, but turning a blind eye to the marriage of convenience thing (which by the way, is of little use thanks to the stupid thing the heroine did later) seems enough. From there if the author does not write something moderately interesting, I´m out.
So, when you think that custody of the girl should be given to the bad uncle and not the hero ... it doesn't make much sense to finish reading the story.
***
Parte de la antología Marriage of Convenience Boxed Set.
Empecé a leer esta historia con todas las de la ley, matrimonio de conveniencia en estos días y sin que aparezcan por ningún lado las palabras permiso de residencia o conseguir la nacionalidad es algo que me va a costar creer, pero bueno, si la historia es lo suficientemente interesante puedo hacer la vista gorda. Evidentemente no ha sido así.
Hay algunas cosas que han funcionado aquí, como son los protagonistas. La autora consigue pintar las dos personas más diametralmente opuestas del mundo mundial entrando en un acuerdo para, figurativamente una y literalmente la otra, salvar sus vidas. Así que ninguna pega en este frente.
Pese a ser tan diferentes la atracción está ahí y es realista. Era interesante.
Todo empieza a fallar en cuanto Lizard (la sobrina de 5 años) entra en escena. Y cuanto más entra en escena, peor.
Toda la historia gira en torno a Lizard (también conocida como Elizabeth), y no puedo, ni por un momento, pensar que lo mejor para esa criatura es vivir con su tío y ese compendio de gente pintoresca. La niña es el personaje infantil más detestable que he leído en romancelandia. Y, o su tío pierde la custodia, o ella va a ser una insufrible maleducada el resto de su vida.
Que ya imagino yo que, aunque Pamela, la protagonista, se haya quejado de que no tiene un hueso maternal en su cuerpo, después de pasar 4 tardes con la cría ésta última se va a convertir en un angelito y a la primera le van a dar el premio Madre del Año. Que eso ya lo sé yo, pero claro, ya con hacer la vista gorda con lo del matrimonio de conveniencia (que por cierto, de poco le sirve con la tontería que hace la protagonista después) me parece suficiente. A partir de ahí si la autora no se lo curra para escribir algo medianamente interesante, conmigo que no cuente.
Así que, cuando piensas que la custodia de la niña se la deberían dar a los titos malos y no al héroe… no tiene mucho sentido terminar de leer la historia.
Part of the anthology Marriage of Convenience Boxed Set.
I began to read this story open-eyed. These days marriage of convenience without the words green card or visa nowhere near is something that is going to be hard to believe, but hey, if the story is interesting enough, I can turn a blind eye. Obviously, it has not been so.
There are some things that have worked here, such as the MC´s. The author manages to paint the two most diametrically opposed people in the world entering an agreement to, figuratively one and literally the other, save their lives. So no complaints on this front.
Despite being so different, the attraction is there and is realistic. It was interesting.
Everything starts to fail as soon as Lizard (the 5-year-old niece) enters the scene. And the more she apperas, the worse.
The whole story revolves around Lizard (aka Elizabeth), and I can't, not even for a moment, think that the best thing for that creature is to live with his uncle and that compendium of picturesque people. The girl is the most detestable child character I've read in romancelandia. And, either her uncle loses her custody, or she is going to become an insufferable and rude young woman.
I imagine that, although Pamela, the heroine, has complained that she does not have a maternal bone in her body, after spending 4 afternoons with the child the latter will become an angel and the former will be awarded Mother of the Year. I already know this, of course, but turning a blind eye to the marriage of convenience thing (which by the way, is of little use thanks to the stupid thing the heroine did later) seems enough. From there if the author does not write something moderately interesting, I´m out.
So, when you think that custody of the girl should be given to the bad uncle and not the hero ... it doesn't make much sense to finish reading the story.
***
Parte de la antología Marriage of Convenience Boxed Set.
Empecé a leer esta historia con todas las de la ley, matrimonio de conveniencia en estos días y sin que aparezcan por ningún lado las palabras permiso de residencia o conseguir la nacionalidad es algo que me va a costar creer, pero bueno, si la historia es lo suficientemente interesante puedo hacer la vista gorda. Evidentemente no ha sido así.
Hay algunas cosas que han funcionado aquí, como son los protagonistas. La autora consigue pintar las dos personas más diametralmente opuestas del mundo mundial entrando en un acuerdo para, figurativamente una y literalmente la otra, salvar sus vidas. Así que ninguna pega en este frente.
Pese a ser tan diferentes la atracción está ahí y es realista. Era interesante.
Todo empieza a fallar en cuanto Lizard (la sobrina de 5 años) entra en escena. Y cuanto más entra en escena, peor.
Toda la historia gira en torno a Lizard (también conocida como Elizabeth), y no puedo, ni por un momento, pensar que lo mejor para esa criatura es vivir con su tío y ese compendio de gente pintoresca. La niña es el personaje infantil más detestable que he leído en romancelandia. Y, o su tío pierde la custodia, o ella va a ser una insufrible maleducada el resto de su vida.
Que ya imagino yo que, aunque Pamela, la protagonista, se haya quejado de que no tiene un hueso maternal en su cuerpo, después de pasar 4 tardes con la cría ésta última se va a convertir en un angelito y a la primera le van a dar el premio Madre del Año. Que eso ya lo sé yo, pero claro, ya con hacer la vista gorda con lo del matrimonio de conveniencia (que por cierto, de poco le sirve con la tontería que hace la protagonista después) me parece suficiente. A partir de ahí si la autora no se lo curra para escribir algo medianamente interesante, conmigo que no cuente.
Así que, cuando piensas que la custodia de la niña se la deberían dar a los titos malos y no al héroe… no tiene mucho sentido terminar de leer la historia.
November 14, 2018
It is a good story but could have been tighter and shorter, definitely less narrative. The couple is nice, the guy a charming almost beach bum kinds and she, an uptight architect on the run from a hit man. The best character is Lizard though, the 5 yrs. old quirky firecracker niece. It’s a longish book (16 chaps I think) but they don’t seem to spend much ‘quality’ time together. I would have liked more interaction between them, more conversations, more doing things together rather than just meeting now and then in the kitchen. The ending was short and sweet and conversely, I won’t have minded a bit moreish here.
September 29, 2013
Cry Uncle
Judith Arnold
Bought this as part of an Amazon "Marriage of Convenience" 99 cent set. Was a nice rainy afternoon read. The guy was appropriately hot, if a little dim in the communication department, and the gal was in appropriate need of saving. But, the character who really stole the show was a precocious orphaned five-year-old who preferred to skinny-dip at the public beach, ingest only foods colored pink, wear feathers and preferred to be called Lizard. How guy saves girl from hitman she testified against after witnessing him commit murder ... and girl helps guy keep niece Lizard from being taken by Child Services and snobby upper-crust relatives ... is truly an adventure. My heart raced, I laughed, I cried and I sighed with happiness at the end. Will definitely look up more by this author! 3.5 out of 5 stars
Judith Arnold
Bought this as part of an Amazon "Marriage of Convenience" 99 cent set. Was a nice rainy afternoon read. The guy was appropriately hot, if a little dim in the communication department, and the gal was in appropriate need of saving. But, the character who really stole the show was a precocious orphaned five-year-old who preferred to skinny-dip at the public beach, ingest only foods colored pink, wear feathers and preferred to be called Lizard. How guy saves girl from hitman she testified against after witnessing him commit murder ... and girl helps guy keep niece Lizard from being taken by Child Services and snobby upper-crust relatives ... is truly an adventure. My heart raced, I laughed, I cried and I sighed with happiness at the end. Will definitely look up more by this author! 3.5 out of 5 stars
May 15, 2017
Pamela is a very prim proper architect who happens to witness a murder, and testifies against the murderer. He's released on a technicality and he wants her dead, so she flees Seattle, and travels as far away as she can - to Key West. She's still worried that Mick, the killer, will find her. (As it turns out, she should be worried; he has a friend on the force who is pretending to be keeping an eye on him, but is letting him run amok, basically.)
Joe is a bartender who has custody of his niece Liz(ard), who is five and sassy as hell and 100% tomboy. He doesn't have the most stable life, and his niece's grandparents want custody of her. To keep custody, Joe needs to show that Liz has a stable home life, and that involves finding a nice, stable, impressive wife.
Pamela and Joe are introduced, him as needing a wife and her as needing a husband, so they agree to marry (on paper) and play happy family for the social workers. They kiss on their wedding night but that's it, and Joe realizes he wants her, but he's also very sure that she DOESN'T want him. (He also starts doubting the hit man story, because tbh it sounds crazy.)
So at first Lizard hates Pam and is a total heinous brat, but they bond while Pam's taking care of her, and then Lizard strips off her swimsuit on the beach and Pam freaks out because CHILD MOLESTERS and then Pam flips out at Joe because she's just so worried, and Joe's like "she really does care about Liz," and of course that means "so we should totally have sex." And they DO, completely fucking UNPROTECTED (pun intended), and Pam's like "and yeah that can't happen again."
So: Mick is arrested but sends another guy after Pam, and Joe takes that guy down; Joe wins custody of Liz once the in-laws declare her a hellion; Pam testifies against Mick and he'll be put away forever; PAM IS PREGNANT BECAUSE OF THAT ONE NIGHT TOGETHER and Joe comes to Seattle to bring her home and Pam's like "your life is totally the opposite of mine but yeah let's do this!!!"
Lessons:
-Don't testify against hit men if you can help it
-USE CONDOMS
-SERIOUSLY USE CONDOMS
-Bratty five-year-olds aren't entirely hopeless
-Marrying in a bar actually doesn't sound so bad
I was honestly sad that there wasn't more sex. I mean, it was in character for Pam to be like "nooooooooooooooooo how about we don't, except I kinda like it" but damn it, more sex! (I did like that neither of them is what would be called conventionally gorgeous; he's muscular but always scruffy, and she's bone-thin and not magically busty despite that.)
Joe is a bartender who has custody of his niece Liz(ard), who is five and sassy as hell and 100% tomboy. He doesn't have the most stable life, and his niece's grandparents want custody of her. To keep custody, Joe needs to show that Liz has a stable home life, and that involves finding a nice, stable, impressive wife.
Pamela and Joe are introduced, him as needing a wife and her as needing a husband, so they agree to marry (on paper) and play happy family for the social workers. They kiss on their wedding night but that's it, and Joe realizes he wants her, but he's also very sure that she DOESN'T want him. (He also starts doubting the hit man story, because tbh it sounds crazy.)
So at first Lizard hates Pam and is a total heinous brat, but they bond while Pam's taking care of her, and then Lizard strips off her swimsuit on the beach and Pam freaks out because CHILD MOLESTERS and then Pam flips out at Joe because she's just so worried, and Joe's like "she really does care about Liz," and of course that means "so we should totally have sex." And they DO, completely fucking UNPROTECTED (pun intended), and Pam's like "and yeah that can't happen again."
So: Mick is arrested but sends another guy after Pam, and Joe takes that guy down; Joe wins custody of Liz once the in-laws declare her a hellion; Pam testifies against Mick and he'll be put away forever; PAM IS PREGNANT BECAUSE OF THAT ONE NIGHT TOGETHER and Joe comes to Seattle to bring her home and Pam's like "your life is totally the opposite of mine but yeah let's do this!!!"
Lessons:
-Don't testify against hit men if you can help it
-USE CONDOMS
-SERIOUSLY USE CONDOMS
-Bratty five-year-olds aren't entirely hopeless
-Marrying in a bar actually doesn't sound so bad
I was honestly sad that there wasn't more sex. I mean, it was in character for Pam to be like "nooooooooooooooooo how about we don't, except I kinda like it" but damn it, more sex! (I did like that neither of them is what would be called conventionally gorgeous; he's muscular but always scruffy, and she's bone-thin and not magically busty despite that.)
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 25, 2014
One of my favorite romance novels of all times. I just love all the characters and the names that they all have. It almost makes me want to move to the Florida Keys and see if people like them really live out there.
July 31, 2011
Totally unsubstantial and mindless, but again, free and I'm all about free.
August 15, 2011
Lots of heartwarming and funny moments, with a few frights.
August 27, 2020
1995 Harlequin Superromance, marriage-of-convenience romance
Pamela Hayes was a key witness in the murder trial of a hit man named Mick in Seattle, but it ended up in a mistrial. As a result, the vicious murderer is on the loose and is determined to kill her before a new trial can happen. Rather than opting for protective custody, Pamela flees on her own to Key West. There she encounters a gorgeous, earring-wearing, laid-back bartender named Jonas Brenner who makes her an irresistible offer. He will provide her with a new legal identity as his wife, in name only, under the presumption that changing her last name will prevent the hit man from tracking her down. In exchange, she will help him win custody of his orphaned, young niece, a rambunctious five-year-old named Elizabeth, who insists everyone call her, “Lizard.” Playing the part of a prim and proper mother figure to little Lizard will only be necessary until custody is granted. After that, Jonas assures her (and himself) they can dissolve the marriage, and she can return to her old life, as soon as the killer who is threatening her life has been thrown in jail.
This book was originally published in 1995 as a Harlequin Superromance, marriage-of-convenience, romantic-suspense novel. That particular line no longer exists, but it seems to have been a kind of amalgam of the current-day romance lines of Harlequin Special Edition and Harlequin Romantic Suspense. It’s a bit of a jarring combination of a classic Harlequin American (currently Harlequin Heartwarming), small-town, family-oriented plot with a “woman in jeopardy,” suspense plot. However, this is a quick, easy read with a fun, Florida Keys setting, and it is, fortunately, light on melodrama. In addition, readers who love quirky, precocious, child characters will very much enjoy the humorous moments provided by Lizard.
I rate this book as follows:
Heroine: 4 stars
Hero: 4 stars
Lizard: 5 stars
Romance Plot: 4 stars
Suspense Plot: 3 stars
Setting: 5 stars
Writing: 4 stars
Overall: 4 stars
Pamela Hayes was a key witness in the murder trial of a hit man named Mick in Seattle, but it ended up in a mistrial. As a result, the vicious murderer is on the loose and is determined to kill her before a new trial can happen. Rather than opting for protective custody, Pamela flees on her own to Key West. There she encounters a gorgeous, earring-wearing, laid-back bartender named Jonas Brenner who makes her an irresistible offer. He will provide her with a new legal identity as his wife, in name only, under the presumption that changing her last name will prevent the hit man from tracking her down. In exchange, she will help him win custody of his orphaned, young niece, a rambunctious five-year-old named Elizabeth, who insists everyone call her, “Lizard.” Playing the part of a prim and proper mother figure to little Lizard will only be necessary until custody is granted. After that, Jonas assures her (and himself) they can dissolve the marriage, and she can return to her old life, as soon as the killer who is threatening her life has been thrown in jail.
This book was originally published in 1995 as a Harlequin Superromance, marriage-of-convenience, romantic-suspense novel. That particular line no longer exists, but it seems to have been a kind of amalgam of the current-day romance lines of Harlequin Special Edition and Harlequin Romantic Suspense. It’s a bit of a jarring combination of a classic Harlequin American (currently Harlequin Heartwarming), small-town, family-oriented plot with a “woman in jeopardy,” suspense plot. However, this is a quick, easy read with a fun, Florida Keys setting, and it is, fortunately, light on melodrama. In addition, readers who love quirky, precocious, child characters will very much enjoy the humorous moments provided by Lizard.
I rate this book as follows:
Heroine: 4 stars
Hero: 4 stars
Lizard: 5 stars
Romance Plot: 4 stars
Suspense Plot: 3 stars
Setting: 5 stars
Writing: 4 stars
Overall: 4 stars
December 1, 2018
A great read
Sometimes you just need to be entertained by a book. Escape from your humdrum life and get involved in someone else's problems. This book is just the ticket for that purpose.
Sometimes you just need to be entertained by a book. Escape from your humdrum life and get involved in someone else's problems. This book is just the ticket for that purpose.
August 3, 2025
Over stereotypical
I know and love the trope. but there are better ways to use it other than the cold professional woman who just needed a little girl to wake up her maternal instincts in order to leave her career without a second thought. Oh, and there was a man there , too.
I know and love the trope. but there are better ways to use it other than the cold professional woman who just needed a little girl to wake up her maternal instincts in order to leave her career without a second thought. Oh, and there was a man there , too.
September 21, 2025
Love this book! I have read it a number of times. Lizard and birdie are characters that leap off the page and Jonas brenner is the best hero ever. I can relate to the heroine, an actual professional career woman making tough choices
October 6, 2025
Very mediocre
It's just a mills and boon style book...no real depth of story...too much effort trying to make it a a love story
It's just a mills and boon style book...no real depth of story...too much effort trying to make it a a love story
October 30, 2011
Great story. It was sexy, sweet, intriguing, and just an all-around relaxing escape. There was some humorous moments that while not laugh out loud funny, did earn a couple chuckles. The dialog was believable. As was the plot.
I liked most of the characters. Lizard was a brat though, and I wish she had been either older than 5 or younger… like infant younger. Halfway through the book I started referring to her as the spawn of Satan. I've known some bad kids in my life, but Lizard takes the cake. Anyway, I really liked Pam. This is a woman I would enjoy having a cup of coffee with, and just generally hanging out.
Joe is different compared to the usual hero. He's one of those hybrid, gamma-male types. For the most part I liked him, but it tended to go back and forth. Joe is definitely a study in contradictions. But he is very sincere in his love for Lizard and eventually Pam. The chemistry between him and Pam is palpable, and I found myself rooting for them to be together. I could see the friendship building between them when they were together (which wasn't often enough for me). It was certainly refreshing to read about two people that don't need to be naked to enjoy each others company.
Some things that bothered me. Personally, I thought too much time was spent inside the "Bad Guy"s POV. I felt it detracted from the time between Joe and Pam. The same message could have been conveyed without all the bs.
I also had some minor issues with some word choices. I know Cry Uncle was written in 1995, but it could have been updated a touch. And even in 1995, I never referred to a bra as a brassiere… If I see that word ever again I may hurt someone. The pacing wasn't all that great. I was reminded of the Little Engine That Could… Cry Uncle just kept chugging along. It wasn't too slow, but wasn't lighting fast either. About average I guess, but I prefer slightly faster.
Anyway! Overall, I was happy with the book. I enjoyed Pam and Joe immensely and while some things bothered me, I didn't feel they ruined the story at all. Even though it was a free ebook, I would have still payed. It's a keeper. I recommend it to anyone looking for a decent escape read, full of tender, sweet, and cutesy funny moments.
I liked most of the characters. Lizard was a brat though, and I wish she had been either older than 5 or younger… like infant younger. Halfway through the book I started referring to her as the spawn of Satan. I've known some bad kids in my life, but Lizard takes the cake. Anyway, I really liked Pam. This is a woman I would enjoy having a cup of coffee with, and just generally hanging out.
Joe is different compared to the usual hero. He's one of those hybrid, gamma-male types. For the most part I liked him, but it tended to go back and forth. Joe is definitely a study in contradictions. But he is very sincere in his love for Lizard and eventually Pam. The chemistry between him and Pam is palpable, and I found myself rooting for them to be together. I could see the friendship building between them when they were together (which wasn't often enough for me). It was certainly refreshing to read about two people that don't need to be naked to enjoy each others company.
Some things that bothered me. Personally, I thought too much time was spent inside the "Bad Guy"s POV. I felt it detracted from the time between Joe and Pam. The same message could have been conveyed without all the bs.
I also had some minor issues with some word choices. I know Cry Uncle was written in 1995, but it could have been updated a touch. And even in 1995, I never referred to a bra as a brassiere… If I see that word ever again I may hurt someone. The pacing wasn't all that great. I was reminded of the Little Engine That Could… Cry Uncle just kept chugging along. It wasn't too slow, but wasn't lighting fast either. About average I guess, but I prefer slightly faster.
Anyway! Overall, I was happy with the book. I enjoyed Pam and Joe immensely and while some things bothered me, I didn't feel they ruined the story at all. Even though it was a free ebook, I would have still payed. It's a keeper. I recommend it to anyone looking for a decent escape read, full of tender, sweet, and cutesy funny moments.
February 8, 2012
A great little mystery/romance a short read, well written. I liked Jonas and Pamela and especially the niece Lizzard. She kept me entertained throughout the entire book. The niece was the greates addition. Her real name is Elizabeth, but she likes to be called "Lizard". The book in parts is a little predictable, but Lizard is never that. So I would say this book was between 3 and 4 stars for me!
Here is the information that was written on the book in Good Reads:
After witnessing a professional hit, Seattle architect Pamela Hayes has testified in court against the hit man. Unfortunately, a mistrial is declared and the hit man has been released on bail while awaiting a new trial. He intends to silence the sole witness to murder—Pam—before that new trial begins. She needs to hide, and she runs as far as she can: to steamy Key West., Florida.
Jonas Brenner, a Key West bar owner and easy-going slacker, is about to lose custody of his orphaned five-year-old niece—unless he can convince the courts that he’s a responsible father. What he needs is a prim and proper wife who will create the illusion that Lizard, as his niece likes to be called, is being raised in a stable environment.
What Pam needs is a new identity. Joe offers her a deal: if she marries him and takes his name, no Pacific Northwest hit man is going to find her. In return, she can pose as Joe’s respectable wife, dutifully caring for the rambunctious, feather-wearing Lizard.
Of course, this will be a marriage in name only. No sex. No emotions. No love. Which, once Pam and Joe move in together and the sparks begin to fly, is easier said than done.
Here is the information that was written on the book in Good Reads:
After witnessing a professional hit, Seattle architect Pamela Hayes has testified in court against the hit man. Unfortunately, a mistrial is declared and the hit man has been released on bail while awaiting a new trial. He intends to silence the sole witness to murder—Pam—before that new trial begins. She needs to hide, and she runs as far as she can: to steamy Key West., Florida.
Jonas Brenner, a Key West bar owner and easy-going slacker, is about to lose custody of his orphaned five-year-old niece—unless he can convince the courts that he’s a responsible father. What he needs is a prim and proper wife who will create the illusion that Lizard, as his niece likes to be called, is being raised in a stable environment.
What Pam needs is a new identity. Joe offers her a deal: if she marries him and takes his name, no Pacific Northwest hit man is going to find her. In return, she can pose as Joe’s respectable wife, dutifully caring for the rambunctious, feather-wearing Lizard.
Of course, this will be a marriage in name only. No sex. No emotions. No love. Which, once Pam and Joe move in together and the sparks begin to fly, is easier said than done.
October 5, 2013
I got this book as part of a box set for $0,99 and boy am I happy that I found this book. I'm planning a trip to Key West in the beginning of next year, and I loved reading about this exotic location and the island feel of the book.
I have to admit, I'm a sucker for arranged/convenient marriages, which often lands me in the historical fiction section, as it's hard to pull off in contemporary fiction and make it realistic. Was this storyline realistic? Meh. But I didn't care one bit.
Here's the gist of the story. Woman needs to hide out until she can testify against a hit man. She's drives as far as she can go from her home in Seattle and subsequently ends up in Key West, Florida. Helpful neighbor sets her up with local barowner who just so happens is looking for a wife to win custody of his niece. Pam, meet Joe. Pam, meet Lizard, the out-of-control niece. Pam, meet your new life.
Obviously, romance arises (as it is a romance novel), and I just felt warm about the whole book. I looked forward to reading it during the day, and snuggled up with my Kindle at night.
Is it a solid romance with a perfect plot? No. Are the characters perfect? No. Would I read it again? Yes.
Some rate their books according to their own scale, but I'm not that clever. When I hover over the stars on Goodreads, the four stars says "I really liked it", so that's what I've chosen to rate this book as. The main characters are likeable, and Lizard reminds me of a few stubborn and wild kids I've known in the past. I very much enjoyed getting to know the characters and their little slice of heaven. (No hurricanes featured, so I'm aware that perception of Florida may be a bit off :-) )
I have to admit, I'm a sucker for arranged/convenient marriages, which often lands me in the historical fiction section, as it's hard to pull off in contemporary fiction and make it realistic. Was this storyline realistic? Meh. But I didn't care one bit.
Here's the gist of the story. Woman needs to hide out until she can testify against a hit man. She's drives as far as she can go from her home in Seattle and subsequently ends up in Key West, Florida. Helpful neighbor sets her up with local barowner who just so happens is looking for a wife to win custody of his niece. Pam, meet Joe. Pam, meet Lizard, the out-of-control niece. Pam, meet your new life.
Obviously, romance arises (as it is a romance novel), and I just felt warm about the whole book. I looked forward to reading it during the day, and snuggled up with my Kindle at night.
Is it a solid romance with a perfect plot? No. Are the characters perfect? No. Would I read it again? Yes.
Some rate their books according to their own scale, but I'm not that clever. When I hover over the stars on Goodreads, the four stars says "I really liked it", so that's what I've chosen to rate this book as. The main characters are likeable, and Lizard reminds me of a few stubborn and wild kids I've known in the past. I very much enjoyed getting to know the characters and their little slice of heaven. (No hurricanes featured, so I'm aware that perception of Florida may be a bit off :-) )
August 23, 2013
Due to a court problem, the lead witness for a murder, Pamela Hayes runs when the murder, Mick is free on bail until his next trial. Ending up in Key West, Florida, she meets Jonas Brenner. He is looking for a temporary wife to prove that he has a stable environment for his niece, whom he has raised since a baby. Now that other relatives want her, he persuades Pamela to marry him so they can help each other out.
Although they are complete opposites, as the marriage continues, they find that they click really well together. When Joe realizes how much Pamela has come to care for his hellion niece, Elizabeth "Lizard", he falls deeper for his wife and one night, they consummate their marriage.
The custody hearing is taking care of in favor of Joe. A hit man comes after Pam and when he is caught, Pam must return to Seattle to not only be protected but to testify once again in Mick's trial. Joe goes after her and after such a short time is surprised to see how awful she looks. She has life changing decisions to make and Joe is determined to be a part of them.
What a fun easy summer read! The story flowed easy and the characters were very like able.
Although they are complete opposites, as the marriage continues, they find that they click really well together. When Joe realizes how much Pamela has come to care for his hellion niece, Elizabeth "Lizard", he falls deeper for his wife and one night, they consummate their marriage.
The custody hearing is taking care of in favor of Joe. A hit man comes after Pam and when he is caught, Pam must return to Seattle to not only be protected but to testify once again in Mick's trial. Joe goes after her and after such a short time is surprised to see how awful she looks. She has life changing decisions to make and Joe is determined to be a part of them.
What a fun easy summer read! The story flowed easy and the characters were very like able.
March 15, 2014
I should have known better than to pick up another book by this author, after reading Father Found, I was so disgusted with those characters I didn't think I would ever read one of Judith Arnold's books again. The synopsis for this book,however, was so interesting I went against my better judgement and purchased it, big mistake.
This books only saving grace are two things: 1) Ms. Arnold always writes from different characters POV, which makes the book much more interesting & 2) Lizard, the most infuriating, sassy, smart, cute and brutally honest five year old ever! The biggest problem with this book is the repetition, its like every other page either Pam or Joe were going over the marriage and why they did it, what they don't expect from each other, what they do expect...it was so frustrating reading the same crap over and over again!
Ms. Arnold has this very annoying way of writing very weak and exhausting female leads, women who just can't seem to make up their minds. This was missing the action I thought it would have, which sucks because the premise for the book is actually quite good, it could have just been written better.
This books only saving grace are two things: 1) Ms. Arnold always writes from different characters POV, which makes the book much more interesting & 2) Lizard, the most infuriating, sassy, smart, cute and brutally honest five year old ever! The biggest problem with this book is the repetition, its like every other page either Pam or Joe were going over the marriage and why they did it, what they don't expect from each other, what they do expect...it was so frustrating reading the same crap over and over again!
Ms. Arnold has this very annoying way of writing very weak and exhausting female leads, women who just can't seem to make up their minds. This was missing the action I thought it would have, which sucks because the premise for the book is actually quite good, it could have just been written better.
July 28, 2015
I only finished this because I'm a compulsive finisher and I really like the marriage of convenience trope. The writing was fine but the characters were horrible: he's threatened by her job as an architect, she judges him as a bum because he owns a bar and has an earring, and the kid is, frankly, a spoiled brat (though I think she's supposed to come off as "very unique" or something). I would have forgiven their faults if they had ~evolved~ together and realized their mistakes, Pride and Prejudice style, but it didn't happen and the change towards "hey, I love this person" seems completely random. The hitman POV would have been better if . It's really too bad because the setting (marriage of convenience, with bonus kid to figure out how to raise together, with a side of danger!) could have been amazing.
April 15, 2014
I liked this book. I don't normally like romance books that include a criminal element so I had to deduct one star for that. And there were still a few loose ends that were never sewn together. What happened to the dirty cop? What was the outcome of the trial? Will Lizard ever get any real home training? Where will Pamela choose to live? The ending needed an epilogue or something.
But beyond these issues it was a peasant read. I loved all of the players. Everyone had their own agenda and stayed true to their roles, including the bad guys. Every decision each character made fitted their persona. I never thought "How dumb is this? No one would ever do that".
The love between the characters felt real, not forced. The love grew gradually and for real reasons. Not lust but love. The moment when Joe realized he loved Pam was poignant and no reader could miss it or fail to believe it.
Very glad I bought this book.
But beyond these issues it was a peasant read. I loved all of the players. Everyone had their own agenda and stayed true to their roles, including the bad guys. Every decision each character made fitted their persona. I never thought "How dumb is this? No one would ever do that".
The love between the characters felt real, not forced. The love grew gradually and for real reasons. Not lust but love. The moment when Joe realized he loved Pam was poignant and no reader could miss it or fail to believe it.
Very glad I bought this book.
August 26, 2013
I bought this book as a part of a marriage of convenience box set, this being the first book of the set that I read, and now after completing the entire set, I have to say that it is by far my favourite. This story is just too much fun, the characters were such... well, characters! Lizard. LIZARD! I loved Lizard! Such a feisty and adorable little girl. I love how she treats her "fancy" aunt and uncle, causing them to hightail out of the state.
The characters were all so quirky and fun, as well as fully developed. The story line was cliche (as really all marriage of convenience books are), but it was still solid and well done. Of course, I doubt many romance readers are reading for an original storyline, since... well, romances really all tend to follow the same basic rules. =P
Overall, this is a cute and fun story that I would recommend to contemporary readers.
The characters were all so quirky and fun, as well as fully developed. The story line was cliche (as really all marriage of convenience books are), but it was still solid and well done. Of course, I doubt many romance readers are reading for an original storyline, since... well, romances really all tend to follow the same basic rules. =P
Overall, this is a cute and fun story that I would recommend to contemporary readers.
August 5, 2011
Kindle freebie, mystery, romance
Pamela Hayes needs to disappear from a hit-man; Joe Brenner needs to appear respectable so he can win custody of his niece. Marriages have been started on less right? This is just a business arrangement; love should never be an issue. Cry Uncle is a fun fast romantic mystery that made me laugh. The characters are fun and just a little bit foolish. Lizard felt like a real five year old.
Kindle formatting could be a bit better, the typeface looked like old typewriter font which made some commas look like periods. (Note that I am thinking the author new the correct grammar--just missed some things after formatting.)
Pamela Hayes needs to disappear from a hit-man; Joe Brenner needs to appear respectable so he can win custody of his niece. Marriages have been started on less right? This is just a business arrangement; love should never be an issue. Cry Uncle is a fun fast romantic mystery that made me laugh. The characters are fun and just a little bit foolish. Lizard felt like a real five year old.
Kindle formatting could be a bit better, the typeface looked like old typewriter font which made some commas look like periods. (Note that I am thinking the author new the correct grammar--just missed some things after formatting.)
May 31, 2016
Enjoyable, fun and predictable read. Our hero Joe is a relaxed, fun loving bar owner who has spent the last three years raising his orphaned niece. He is now facing the real possibility of losing custody of the child. Pamela is reserved, practical, and organized and running for her life from a mobster intent on killing her. Together they plan a marriage of convenience to protect the niece from being taken and Pamela from being killed. While circumstances throw them together, the marriage starts feeling real rather than one of convenience. Can they make it last? Will they be able to keep the orphan?
August 15, 2011
I liked this story. When you started to read it you have a good idea of the ending. But the journey to get there was filled with entertaining characters.
When Pamela testified against Mick Morrow he puts out a hit on her. Running is her only option.
Joe needs a wife in a big hurry. He's in a custody battle for his niece.
Pamela looks like a respectable candidate for the wife position. He needs a wife, She needs to hide. No one would ever think of Pamela as a normal, ordinary wife and mother, it would be the perfect hiding place.
After all it only temporary, right ?
When Pamela testified against Mick Morrow he puts out a hit on her. Running is her only option.
Joe needs a wife in a big hurry. He's in a custody battle for his niece.
Pamela looks like a respectable candidate for the wife position. He needs a wife, She needs to hide. No one would ever think of Pamela as a normal, ordinary wife and mother, it would be the perfect hiding place.
After all it only temporary, right ?
May 2, 2012
I liked this book, one sex scene towards the end. A woman from Seattle on the run from a hit man, moves to Florida, marries a man to help him gain custody of his neice that he has raised since a toddler. By marrying, she changes her name to avoid being discovered by the hit man, this being a condition of the marriage. The story is mostly about the husband, wife and the little girl, their relationship and custody battle. All ends well. Nice story (except the rating of LS-NoG for the sex part.
July 29, 2016
Really enjoyed this story about finding love in someone with whom one is linked for only practical reasons. Made me wonder about how people in arranged marriages truly do, in some or many cases, come to love each other. I thought the character Lizard was a tad unrealistic as were some aspects of the story line but, all in all, the interaction between the characters seemed true to life and I was looking forward to a HEA ending. I would read from this author again.
August 5, 2011
2.5
Excellent settings with Seattle and Key West, the representations fair, though Seattle comes off a bit high strung. Then again, compared to the Keys and the Caribbean just about everything else is. The characters were likeable, but came off a bit cardboard. Even with the lack of dimensionality and some plausibility in the plot it was fair. Not a must read, but not a toss out the window either.
Excellent settings with Seattle and Key West, the representations fair, though Seattle comes off a bit high strung. Then again, compared to the Keys and the Caribbean just about everything else is. The characters were likeable, but came off a bit cardboard. Even with the lack of dimensionality and some plausibility in the plot it was fair. Not a must read, but not a toss out the window either.
September 1, 2011
Not a BAD book, but not a great one either. The story line had so much potential. I was disappointed that certain aspects of the story were not explored further and then there were some that should have been left out completely. Neither Pam nor Joe were particular likable. "Lizard" was a brat. I was, however, happy with the way it ended, though it seemed rushed.
Not bad for a free Kindle download.
Not bad for a free Kindle download.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 74 reviews