♾️/5 ⭐️’s
“a love like this couldn’t exist in only one lifetime.”
before i get into this review…don’t let this bright, beautiful cover fool you…this book is dark. some heavy trigger warnings include rape and mentions of attempted suicide/suicide.
i could’ve finished this book in less than a day if my life didn’t get so unexpectedly busy😩this book had me crying sfm that i ended up getting a migraine and fell asleep for hours so this is why my review took so long to finally be posted🥲idk what i was expecting before getting into this book, but it definitely wasn’t that. i know a lot of my updates were about ollie and how perfect he is, but i just really wanna emphasize how emotional, dark and heartbreaking this book really is.
♡ mini plot summary
19 year old, mia jett is an american girl who gets sent to dolor university…a reformatory college in the uk for young adults who suffer from mental illnesses. mia jett suffers from emotional detachment disorder and feels nothing at all while ollie masters feels too much. what happens when a girl who feels nothing at all meets a boy who wants to make her feel everything?
- “ice and fire. winter and summer. mia and ollie.”
♡ mia jett
there were times where this girl upset me so much, but finding out about her past…i want to do nothing, but hug her.
- “the walls became my friends—they were safe.”
- “many confused my disorder with depression or anxiety, but it was far different. to be depressed, you had to feel hopeless or sadness. i felt neither and nothing—a black hole.”
getting to understand mia and why she does the things that she does was a roller coaster ride with many ups and downs. i spent half of this book thinking ollie doesn’t deserve to be with her…that he deserves to be with me instead, but i think mia is perfect for ollie and vice versa. they slowly became one of my favorite couples and i’m rooting for them🥹i’m rooting for her…after everything she’s been through, she deserves a man like ollie.
- “he took me higher—away. ollie always had that ability. with him, i wasn’t a broke girl suffering a past. with him, i wasn’t lost. i was found.”
♡ ollie masters
the first emoji that pops into my mind when i think about this man—>🤰i’d marry him and have his kids yesterday. this man is PERFECT😩
- “come on down, love. i have you.”
- “hi, love.”
- “good morning, love.”
- “you alright, love?”
- “checking on you, love. what happened? are you okay?”
- “we’re going to have to work on your knock-knock jokes, love.”
- “why are you smiling, love?”
- “you never have to worry, love. you have me completely.”
- “i hate staying away from you, love.”
- “not yet, my love…patience.”
- “just close your eyes, my love.”
- “how do you do it, my love?”
one of the hottest things a man could do is call you “love” and then when this man went from calling her “love” to “my love”…call me dramatic, but i almost died. weak in the knees every time. this man has tattoos. he loves to read and he loves to write poetry!?!? ugh please, i want him so bad. he literally reads the notebook to mia because she’s never seen the movie…i’m so sick. also the way mia describes his green eyes and his hugs😩i need him to look at me with his beautiful green eyes so i can lose myself in them and i need an ollie hug…immediately. especially after reading this book😩this man’s past :( i don’t even wanna talk about it. the fact that he’s still the perfect gentleman after all he went through. he’s so precious and must be protected at all costs.
♡ my three favorite scenes:
these three scenes are so intimate and so memorable😩they gave me an endless amount of butterflies🦋🦋i won’t give too much away…mostly quotes of what he says to her because🥵and some quotes of what she says to him too for some context hehe. the first scene…they’re playing strip or dare with four of their friends. the second scene…ollie is laying down on his bed with mia sitting on top of him on his lap and things happen while their four friends are busy playing a game. the third scene…she thinks that he’s afraid to touch her, but he immediately proves her wrong.
♡ scene #1:
“strip or dare?” i asked, looking over at ollie, who sat by himself on the mattress against the wall.
“dare.”
“touch yourself, ollie. i want to see you make yourself come.”
“you can’t be serious.”
“there are two types of people in this world, ollie. those who don’t complete their dares, and those who do. just slip that hand underneath those boxers of yours so i can see you lose yourself.”
“this is your dare, love…for your viewing pleasure only. you have to come sit in front of me and watch.”
~~~no bc i’d immediately crawl to him. this was so hot😩she goes over to sit in front of him and when he starts…she closes her eyes.
“no, look at me. this is what you wanted. you wanted to see me lose myself.”
~~~i’m sat.
♡ scene #2:
“you trust me, mia?”
“don’t move, no matter what.”
~~~he grabs a blanket to cover part of them so he can finger her😩
“i told you not to move, and i’m just getting started. do you want me to stop, mia?”
“i need more access.”
“you have to stay quiet, my love.”
~~~I’M SO QUIET🤭like okay baby, whatever you say😋she starts moaning so he kisses her to swallow her cries.
“come here and kiss me.”
“you okay?” he asked, fixing my panties.
i shook my head. “i want you inside me, like right now.”
“trust me, i want you, too. though not in front of them. i am a gentleman. i shouldn’t have even done that with them here. i respect what we have, alright? but sometimes i lose control at the same time.”
“you lay there and be a complete gentleman, ollie—and let my be bad for you.”
“oh…fuck, mia. you’re going to make me want to have you right here and now.”
“that’s the point.”
“this in no way means you mean anything less to me.”
“i know, ollie.”
“fuck. i respect what we have.”
“i do, too.”
“promise you’ll keep quiet?”
“promise.”
~~~this whole scene was indescribably hot…i’ll never recover.
♡ *add on to this second scene*:
“you sound so proper for someone who just fucked their girlfriend in front of other people.”
“one, don’t ever say i fucked you…two, it wasn’t in front of everyone. you were covered, and they haven’t got a clue and…did you call yourself my girlfriend?”
“yeah, i guess i did, didn’t i.”
“it sounds so…downplayed, underrated for what you are to me. i don’t like it. we don’t need a title. all we need is each other.”
~~~the way that this man told her to never say that he fucked her…i’m screaming. this man is in love love.
♡ scene #3:
“touch me, ollie. i need to know you still want me.”
“what are you talking about? i always want you.”
“you haven’t touched me since you found out what i did.”
“nothing has changed. i want you so fucking bad right now, but you were drugged not even two days ago. i’m trying to respect you.”
“okay,” i muttered and dropped my gaze.
“no.” he lifted my chin, forcing me to see him. “don’t shut me out.”
then he grabbed my thighs and turned me around in a swift movement, bringing me to the edge of the mattress.
“i worship you, mia.” he lifted my legs and pulled them apart unapologetically.
“what are my limits, love?”
“you have none.”
“just lay here and let me take care of you, then.”
“don’t move, and just feel me.”
“you’re soaking wet. is that what i do to you?”
“stay still.”
“hold on a little longer. don’t let go, baby. i’m not done with you yet.”
“come here. you don’t have to do anything except hold on to me.”
“i fucking love that, mia. you’re swollen around me, pulsing, thumping. it’s the second-best feeling in the world.”
“what do you mean ‘the second-best feeling in the world’?
“the best feeling is the way you look at me. the way you look at me makes me feel like i’m someone important, you know? someone you appreciate, and i’m deserving of you in return. i’m someone you’re in awe of, and that feeling is the best feeling in the world, and i’ll gladly spend forever making sure i’m worthy of that look.”
~~~i’m obsessed with him. i’m in love with the way he loves her. i’m in love with their love. i’m just so…in love😩
♡ final thoughts:
i said i didn’t wanna give too much away, but that was a lot…trust that it doesn’t spoil much. there’s a lot more about this book than this man being absolutely perfect😩i do recommend reading this book, but again…it’s a heavy one so please be emotionally prepared and know the triggers in this book. the writing is soooo good…nicole fiorina ATE. this is a trilogy so please don’t expect a happy ending with this first book. speaking of the ending…can i just say how much i KNOW the second book is gonna hurt!?!? it’s gonna hurt a lot and i’m not ready yet🥲the only characters i love in this book are mia, ollie, and zeke. alicia and jake i didn’t mind…but the rest can go die slowly and painfully.
♡ favorite quotes:
- “you're a fucking liar. your pulse is racing, mia, and i know what it's like because mine does the same damn thing when i'm around you. and when i look into your eyes, i can see my mia in there. the girl who pretends not to care, but her heart is relentless. the girl who kisses unapologetically, watches me read, laughs into my neck, and has a genuine fucking smile when i'm beside her. my mia.”
- “his angelic voice remained steady as he ran his fingers lightly through my hair with one hand and held the battered book in the other. ollie was captivating, and i was afraid if i turned away, even for a split second, i'd miss a beat—miss a word from his lips, miss a blink of his thick lashes as he lost himself in the world the author had created. absolutely breathtaking.”
- "i can see a change in you sometimes. it's odd and hard to explain, but i know when you're with me, and i know when you're not. not physically, but in here,”ollie said, bringing his free finger to my temple. "and in here." he moved his hand over my chest. his hand remained as each breath i took pressed against his palm. "don't leave me this time, alright?”
- “i am so fucked.” read this book for more context🤭
- “with ollie, i’d found a safe place. i’d found a refuge from the storm inside my head.”
- “with a laugh like yours, you should always be doing it.”
- “some search their entire lives for this single moment. don’t blink, my love. we’re finally here.”
- “she was my heaven, i was her hell.”
- “i knew it was forever when i cherished our conversations as much as our love making.”
- “damn, baby. take a moment, look in the mirror, see how strong you are.”
- “she was lost, but i would find her. i’m right here, mia. stay with me.”
- “i was doomed from day one, mia.”
- “each time ollie opened his mouth, he silenced the world with poetry.”
- “a girl who was inspired to love herself because a boy loved her.”
- “my name falling from his lips meant everything. it was a beg, a plea, a demand, a promise, a relief, a praise, a question, an answer, a longing, a desire. it was everything, all in one breath.”
- “how could a three letter word sound better than poetry? mia.”
- “believe in me. believe in us.”
- “she’s the love letter i haven’t written.”
old updates:
ollie masters stole my entire heart and i never want it back. keep it, baby. marry me rn. i do i do i do.
the EPILOGUE!?! @bruna and hoda😩😩i see why you both wanted me to get to the epilogue…that was everything🤭got me wanting to be like🤰🤰🤰🤰
review coming soon!!🤭🤭
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instead of just reading one book that’ll rip my heart out and have me crying for days…let me read a whole trilogy that will!!! :D
please don’t let this be another dnf cuz now that i dnf’d a book for the very first time…i won’t be able to stop😋i have high hopes tho hehe🤭
also these book covers…absolutely stunning😍😍