The Art of Captivating Conversation: How to Be Confident, Charismatic, and Likable in Any Situation

by Patrick King

The Art of Captivating Conversation is a book for enhancing social skills and developing conversation starters—how to have a deeper connection with people, with tips based on human and social psychology as well as the author's observations and proven coaching techniques. Readers will learn the basics of what makes a good interaction, as well as a plethora of highly-actionable techniques to become more confident, charismatic, and likable. For Think of The Art of Captivating Conversation as a more detailed and nuanced How to Win Friends & Influence People for the modern age, now that most people see Carnegie's book as "common sense." It will be a handy reference for both introverts looking to step out, and confident speakers looking for an edge. The Art of Captivating Conversation empowers readers to step out of their comfort zones to not only break the ice, but also engage an audience in a meaningful and enriching conversation. It is a handy book that will empower readers to speak confidently.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Business, Audiobook, Relationships, Psychology, Communication

160 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 28, 2020

About the author

Patrick King is a Social Interaction Specialist, in other words, a dating, online dating, image, and communication and social skills coach based in San Francisco, California, and has been featured on numerous national publications such as Inc.com. He’s also a #1 Amazon best-selling dating and relationships author with the most popular online dating book on the market, and writes frequently on dating, love, sex, and relationships.

He focuses on using his emotional intelligence and understanding of human interaction to break down emotional barriers, instill confidence, and equip people with the tools they need for success. No pickup artistry and no gimmicks, simply a thorough mastery of human psychology delivered with a dose of real talk, perfected and honed through three years of law school.

Reviews

[Amjad Al-khater · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don’t usually post reviews but here’s to change.

I hadn’t planned to read through this book. I've always looked at self-help books as oddities I would never get into. Always thought I didn’t need it because I wasn’t struggling. Because why would they know better?

Well, I got this book, read the title and I thought maybe I’ll check it out. I’ve been working on myself lately and one thing I've keyed into was my poor conversational skill. So, I got over myself. Why not?.

My impression when I started reading this was good. It’s short. I don’t think I could take a lot of this. The writing is clear and simple. Hard-nosed but not too high horsed. And actually helpful. The topics are relevant and fleshed out well. It just clicked.

One of the hardest lessons I learned reading this book is that I’m partly to blame for not having as many close friendships as I would like. It’s true. I do keep people at arm’s reach. And it’s tough. The book says that many of the things we avoid talking about should become our topics for conversation. I don’t know if I’m ready to accept that just yet. But I’m convinced that if want to have closer relationships, I need to step up, toss the ball back and open up. That'll take time and it will not be the same for everyone. And that’s fine.

I don’t think I’ll ever become a talented conversationalist because it’s draining. Let's face it, I am the lazy member of most conversations. But this has helped me notice my bad tendencies and given me a chance to turn it around when I need/want to. And I’m grateful for that.

Back to the book, there are some negatives. The book sometimes dwells too long on a topic or re-explains some topics again and again. I realize this is more educational, and in education, repetition is necessary so I can't fault it too much. But it could do with some cuts here and there to make it sharper and more to the point.

The biggest oddity is that there’s no conclusion. The book just suddenly ends after the eighth chapter. That’s super weird because without a conclusion, there’s this lingering feeling that we’re not finished. There’s still something for us to discuss. We don’t have all the tools. If there was that one more paragraph to energize the reader by telling them they have all the keys, it would work so well and be such a great launching pad off the book.

The biggest strength in this book is the relatability, simplicity and clarity. Plus, the length is rather inviting. 4/5.

[Jevgenij · Rating 3 out of 5]

Man, this author can write a title on a book! Unfortunately, same as other his books, the content strongly underdelivers. e.g. charisma is not covered in this book at all and if you follow all advice to the letter, your "captivating conversation" would look mostly like an interview.
However, I found one idea that I really liked and it kind of changed the way I think: storytelling in a conversation is not about telling long conventional stories. I know the idea is simple, but I was really focused on the other way around before and it sucked. For this idea alone I bump the rating to 3 stars.
And yeah, there is no ending :D

[Lynette Olson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lots of tips on how to begin conversation, keep it moving, make it entertaining, and fill awkward moments! In the beginning, the author focuses on the fact that everyone we have contact with during a day has a whole life we don't know about. The key to making good conversation is being truly curious about the people around us. I enjoy talking to people and this book is making it even more enjoyable!

[Spellbind Consensus]

*The Art of Captivating Conversation* by Patrick King is a practical guide aimed at enhancing one's conversational abilities to become more confident, charismatic, and likable in various social situations. Drawing from psychological principles and personal experiences, King offers actionable strategies to transform ordinary interactions into engaging and meaningful exchanges.

**Core Principles:**

* **Confidence:** Developing self-assurance to express oneself authentically without fear of judgment.
* **Charisma:** Cultivating a magnetic presence that makes others feel valued and understood.
* **Likability:** Fostering trust and rapport through positive behaviors and genuine interest in others.

**Key Techniques:**

* **Effective Openers:** Utilizing icebreakers that are subjective, objective, or based on shared experiences to initiate conversations smoothly.
* **Active Listening:** Engaging fully with others by paraphrasing, reflecting, and asking open-ended questions to deepen understanding.
* **Storytelling:** Sharing personal anecdotes to create connections and make conversations more relatable.
* **Conversation Resume:** Maintaining a mental repository of interesting facts and stories to draw upon during interactions.
* **Handling Awkwardness:** Employing techniques like the "Four-Word Magic Phrase"—"What were you saying?"—to navigate and recover from conversational lulls.

**Mindsets and Habits:**

* **Improv Approach:** Treating conversations like improvisational performances, focusing on adaptability and collaboration.
* **Avoiding Common Pitfalls:** Steering clear of conversational narcissism, unsolicited advice, and the urge to correct others unnecessarily.
* **Continuous Practice:** Regularly engaging in conversations to refine skills and build confidence over time.

King emphasizes that captivating conversation is a learnable skill, not an innate talent. By applying these principles and techniques, individuals can enhance their social interactions, build deeper connections, and navigate various conversational scenarios with ease.

[James · Rating 4 out of 5]

"The Art of Captivating Conversation" by Patrick King is aimed at enhancing social skills and developing effective conversation starters, and tips to keep the conversations going. Personally, I find small-talk really frustrating and doesn't lead to good conversations. He does discuss this, and gives tips both from both perspectives; what you can say to make your conversations more interesting, and how you can ask questions to help progress their topic. There's the occasional advice that I think would make you sounds really weird, but for the most part I think he gives great advice. There's some simple but effective advice like if someone asks how your weekend was, and it was dull, you can just talk about some other weekend instead. They are just trying to start a conversation so you don't have to only talk about last weekend. Another simple tip is that their sentences can be broken down into topics, so if they said "I went skiing in the mountains with my brother", then you can direct the conversation to "skiing", "mountains", or "brother". It sounds obvious but it's often easy to focus on the primary topic of skiing, but if you have nothing to add or aren't interested, then it’s a one-sided conversation that leads nowhere.

[sunxin · Rating 2 out of 5]

Interesting idea~ poorly executed in writing.
It includes some basic examples and ideas behind conversational tools but offers no real riveting insights into real charismatic mindset. The examples don't stand out to me as relatable, though a few prompts could be useful in specific circumstances. The ending is... .

[Jacob O'connor · Rating 4 out of 5]

This genre is crowded with wannabe "life coaches". This is exactly what I thought I was getting into in the introduction. I shouldn't be so judgmental. Art of Captivating Conversation was filled with useful tips and insights. I'll be referring to this again.

[Jeremy Theis · Rating 5 out of 5]

must read

good self help book that breaks down some of the nuances of conversation. has a ton of valuable information and content to absorb.

[Sherif · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book

Great tips from very common daily life situations. Recommend everyone to read it. Helpful for people in all different kinds of jobs

[Alan Luna · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a solid book that give practical advice for both people who do not know how to converse and for those who are not sure if they are doing it right.

[Mario · Rating 2 out of 5]

Weird book. I received it as part of a recent humble bundle and had a look at it.

Most of the information in the book seems sound, however a lot of the points in the book seem to be repeating themselves without this getting mentioned. In addition to this, there isn't really a end to the book, no conclusion or anything, it just stops.

All this makes it seem like a few blog posts glued together and sold as a book.
It's sold at the publishers website for 15$ which seems a bit much, given that it feels like no efforts at all have been put into the finish of this book.

[Emily Bugay · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book actually had a lot of practical advice that I found helpful. It was short and to the point. At first I thought it was going to be a bit shallow or make you feel like to be a good conversationalist you had to be a bit manipulative, but for the most part that turned out not to be the case. I think the biggest takeaway is the importance of truly valuing each person you come into contact with and striving to learn about them, truly be interested in them, and make them feel heard and seen when they leave the interaction.

[Chris · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are things to take away from this book, especially for a conversational putz like myself. However, there's a bit to be desired beyond approaching conversations as if they're talk show interviews. And then the book ends so abruptly. Not even on a strong note. It's like he hit his word count and tapped out.

[vjg · Rating 5 out of 5]

El libro es bueno y va al grano. Si tu estilo de conversación tiene fallas, este libro puede ayudarte a mejorarlas con paciencia y algo de dedicación. Lo importante es tratar de interiorizar las recomendaciones del autor, lo cual no es tarea fácil. Si toda la vida has tenido malos hábitos de conversación, no esperes que todo vaya a cambiar de la noche a la mañana.

[Annie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some interesting observations on how conversation works, but some very odd examples that would make you sound like a total weirdo if you used them. It also ended completely suddenly without any form of conclusion. I don't know if the Kindle version had the end cut off😬?

[Jacob O'connor · Rating 4 out of 5]

This genre is crowded with wannabe "life coaches". This is exactly what I thought I was getting into in the introduction. I shouldn't be so judgmental. Art of Captivating Conversation was filled with useful tips and insights. I'll be referring to this again.

[Michael · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reasonable advice but not the most well-written guide. Overall I feel as though it has helped me. I recommend for anyone who is introverted or socially awakward.

[Youssouf · Rating 4 out of 5]

For someone who always wants to have good conversation, this book certainly helps because I was reminded of some good tricks. Glad I read it!