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Belladonna
A hypnotizing coming-of-age novel set in 1950s Italy that stares into the heart of longing and at the friendships that have the power to save and destroy us."I was utterly captivated, from first page to last." --Anton DiSclafani, New York Times bestselling author of The After PartyIsabella is beautiful, inscrutable, and popular. Her best friend, Bridget, keeps quietly to the fringes of their Connecticut Catholic school, watching everything and everyone, but most especially Isabella.In 1957, when the girls graduate, they land coveted spots at the Accademia di Belle Arti di Pentila in northern Italy, a prestigious art history school on the grounds of a silent convent. There, free of her claustrophobic home and the town that will always see her and her Egyptian mother as outsiders, Bridget discovers she can reinvent herself as anyone she desires... perhaps even someone Isabella could desire in return.But as that glittering year goes on, Bridget begins to suspect Isabella is keeping a secret from her, one that will change the course of their lives forever.
336 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 9, 2020
69 people are currently reading
7328 people want to read
About the author
Anbara Salam
5 books217 followersAnbara Salam is half-Palestinian and half-Scottish, and grew up in London. She has a PhD in Theology and now lives in Oxford.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 231 reviews
January 20, 2020
This is a ‘coming-of-age’ story in the 1950’s.
From a prestigious Catholic High School in Connecticut...
to a prestigious Art History school - ‘di Belle Arti di Pentila’ in Northern Italy - on the grounds of a silent convent....
we follow two friends:
Bridget and Isabella.
Bridget feels like an outsider. She wants to fit in. She desperately wants the friendship of Isabella, who is beautiful and popular.
I was hoping that I might enjoy this book in the same way I did the Neapolitan novels by Elena Ferrante.
I didn’t.
The writing was ordinary—lacking intoxicating sensory feelings.
It was surprisingly flat, bland, unforgettable- more dull than any novel I’ve read in years.
Cringeworthy!
I became more intrigued and curious about ‘the lack’ of scrumptious, zesty, sentences than the characters- or their enmeshed friendships.
I was actually a little in ‘awe’ that maybe? — the writing was chosen - for boredom- for a reason? A puzzle for this reader.
Bridget wanted to be close to Isabella.
Isabella had invented a game
called ‘Dead Nun’ at a sleepover- where the last girl silent won. Isabella always won.
Bridget’s job was to count Mississippis. Partly because she was pretending to be dead but mostly she was never actually invited to join the girl’s game.
Bridget’s job was to watch the girls lying still. Bridget admitted it wasn’t much of a Friday night < (dull fun-Friday-night: I added this-remark-not the author )...
but regardless, Bridget, appreciated the game because it gave her a chance to be close to Isabella....
“To observe how she wrinkled her nose when Sophie LeBaron giggled and spluttered. To cheer her when she rose victorious from the floor, red-faced and clammy, her pulse beating in the hollow of her throat”.
Throughout this entire novel, Anbara Salam created cringing images. It became all I could see.
“My heart pulsed so painfully it throbbed in my jawbone”.
“A strand of hair fell into her mouth and she yanked it out”.
“She put her hands in her pockets, and her eyes traveled over me slowly, a careful-evaluation. My stomach coiled into a rope”.
“My throat burned. I wished, suddenly, I could flip myself inside out, like a magicians hat”.
“I smiled at her and made what seemed like the right noises”.
“I wished again I could knock myself inside out, that I could nullify myself utterly”,
“Their happiness was so unfair I felt quivering in every muscle”.
“Their happiness was just beginning. And I had nothing. It was the same sunken feeling from the trip to Rome, the day I had watched smiling families eating pasta and I stood on the street, unnoticed”.
“The barb landed in my throat, hard and sour as a beesting”.
The shimmer of hope I had for this book being intoxicatingly passionate, psychologically engrossing, original.....
about the messy complexity of female friendship,
was more like watching a sinking ship.
Read other positive reviews.
Other readers have found this book to be wonderfully beautiful and satisfying.
Much appreciation to the publisher, Netgalley, and author. No hard feelings I hope - I simply was the wrong-reader match for this novel.
From a prestigious Catholic High School in Connecticut...
to a prestigious Art History school - ‘di Belle Arti di Pentila’ in Northern Italy - on the grounds of a silent convent....
we follow two friends:
Bridget and Isabella.
Bridget feels like an outsider. She wants to fit in. She desperately wants the friendship of Isabella, who is beautiful and popular.
I was hoping that I might enjoy this book in the same way I did the Neapolitan novels by Elena Ferrante.
I didn’t.
The writing was ordinary—lacking intoxicating sensory feelings.
It was surprisingly flat, bland, unforgettable- more dull than any novel I’ve read in years.
Cringeworthy!
I became more intrigued and curious about ‘the lack’ of scrumptious, zesty, sentences than the characters- or their enmeshed friendships.
I was actually a little in ‘awe’ that maybe? — the writing was chosen - for boredom- for a reason? A puzzle for this reader.
Bridget wanted to be close to Isabella.
Isabella had invented a game
called ‘Dead Nun’ at a sleepover- where the last girl silent won. Isabella always won.
Bridget’s job was to count Mississippis. Partly because she was pretending to be dead but mostly she was never actually invited to join the girl’s game.
Bridget’s job was to watch the girls lying still. Bridget admitted it wasn’t much of a Friday night < (dull fun-Friday-night: I added this-remark-not the author )...
but regardless, Bridget, appreciated the game because it gave her a chance to be close to Isabella....
“To observe how she wrinkled her nose when Sophie LeBaron giggled and spluttered. To cheer her when she rose victorious from the floor, red-faced and clammy, her pulse beating in the hollow of her throat”.
Throughout this entire novel, Anbara Salam created cringing images. It became all I could see.
“My heart pulsed so painfully it throbbed in my jawbone”.
“A strand of hair fell into her mouth and she yanked it out”.
“She put her hands in her pockets, and her eyes traveled over me slowly, a careful-evaluation. My stomach coiled into a rope”.
“My throat burned. I wished, suddenly, I could flip myself inside out, like a magicians hat”.
“I smiled at her and made what seemed like the right noises”.
“I wished again I could knock myself inside out, that I could nullify myself utterly”,
“Their happiness was so unfair I felt quivering in every muscle”.
“Their happiness was just beginning. And I had nothing. It was the same sunken feeling from the trip to Rome, the day I had watched smiling families eating pasta and I stood on the street, unnoticed”.
“The barb landed in my throat, hard and sour as a beesting”.
The shimmer of hope I had for this book being intoxicatingly passionate, psychologically engrossing, original.....
about the messy complexity of female friendship,
was more like watching a sinking ship.
Read other positive reviews.
Other readers have found this book to be wonderfully beautiful and satisfying.
Much appreciation to the publisher, Netgalley, and author. No hard feelings I hope - I simply was the wrong-reader match for this novel.
June 23, 2020
I love a coming-of-age story! Belladonna is the tale of two friends living in Connecticut in the 1950s. They move to Italy to study art while living in a convent.
They are the yin and yang of friends. Isabella is the outgoing, popular one, while the reserved Bridget is often in her shadow.
It is there, at the convent, that Bridget opens up and finds herself, feeling more comfortable in who she is. Somewhere along the way, Bridget discovers Isabella is keeping some dark secrets, and it’s unclear how they could affect them both.
Salam transports the reader to Italy in the 1950s. Bridget is truly at the center of this novel, and she is of Egyptian heritage, which she hides, something she’s feels judged for constantly. She wants nothing more than to fit in, and Isabella takes advantage of her, while Bridget continues to obsess over Isabella and their friendship.
Overall, I found Belladonna to be an angsty, emotional coming-of-age story. I wanted more for Bridget, and I was along for the ride, rooting for her.
I received a gifted copy. All opinions are my own.
Many of my reviews can also be found on my blog: www.jennifertarheelreader.com and instagram: www.instagram.com/tarheelreader
They are the yin and yang of friends. Isabella is the outgoing, popular one, while the reserved Bridget is often in her shadow.
It is there, at the convent, that Bridget opens up and finds herself, feeling more comfortable in who she is. Somewhere along the way, Bridget discovers Isabella is keeping some dark secrets, and it’s unclear how they could affect them both.
Salam transports the reader to Italy in the 1950s. Bridget is truly at the center of this novel, and she is of Egyptian heritage, which she hides, something she’s feels judged for constantly. She wants nothing more than to fit in, and Isabella takes advantage of her, while Bridget continues to obsess over Isabella and their friendship.
Overall, I found Belladonna to be an angsty, emotional coming-of-age story. I wanted more for Bridget, and I was along for the ride, rooting for her.
I received a gifted copy. All opinions are my own.
Many of my reviews can also be found on my blog: www.jennifertarheelreader.com and instagram: www.instagram.com/tarheelreader
January 1, 2020
How far will you go to make someone love you?
***Thank you to Berkley, Penguin Random for sending me an early electronic copy of this book for review!***
This book is probably one of the most beautifully written pieces of women's fiction that I've read in a while. Salam is a very gifted writer in that she's able to put the reader in whatever scene she's created. I've only been to Italy once in life, but through Salam's pretty prose, I feel like I've been there all over again. Sigh. Anyways, to the plot: The story takes place in the late 1950's and is all about a young woman named Bridget who wants so bad to fit in with her friends thanks to her mixed heritage of Egyptian. Salam writes the entire novel from Bridget's point of view, which I liked but could be kind of confusing at times. For example, she brings up her sister, Rhona, who appears to be ill and it isn't until the end of the book that I figure out what her illness is but I'm still really not sure because Bridget never just comes out and says it.
Bridget becomes obsessed with a girl named Isabella and wants nothing more in life than to be her best friend. She gave me all kinds of "Single White Female" vibes in the ways she described her fierce love for Isabella, who is always coming up with some type of mischief for them to get into. Isabella arrives to school after fighting a bout of malaria. Her life seems to be rooted in more myth than actual reality. We don't know exactly where she came from, and later the reader realizes that she suffers from something more than malaria (if that's even what it really was). No matter because Bridget is so hell bent on being Isabella's best friend that it didn't matter what Isabella did or said.
After graduating from their all-girls Catholic high school in Connecticut, both girls are accepted into a prestigious art history school in Italy for a year-long program. It's here that the bulk of the story takes place. Bridget tells no one about her mixed ancestry in her efforts to fit in and works even harder to win over Isabella's friendship. Her fierce desire to fit in made me cringe at times and Isabella's behavior reminded me of a narcissistic man in the way she seemed to take advantage of Bridget's love for her.
By the time I finished reading the novel, I was grateful to myself for never being one that desperately needed another's attention. Salam has written a fantastic summer read and I look forward to reading more of her books in the future.
***Thank you to Berkley, Penguin Random for sending me an early electronic copy of this book for review!***
This book is probably one of the most beautifully written pieces of women's fiction that I've read in a while. Salam is a very gifted writer in that she's able to put the reader in whatever scene she's created. I've only been to Italy once in life, but through Salam's pretty prose, I feel like I've been there all over again. Sigh. Anyways, to the plot: The story takes place in the late 1950's and is all about a young woman named Bridget who wants so bad to fit in with her friends thanks to her mixed heritage of Egyptian. Salam writes the entire novel from Bridget's point of view, which I liked but could be kind of confusing at times. For example, she brings up her sister, Rhona, who appears to be ill and it isn't until the end of the book that I figure out what her illness is but I'm still really not sure because Bridget never just comes out and says it.
Bridget becomes obsessed with a girl named Isabella and wants nothing more in life than to be her best friend. She gave me all kinds of "Single White Female" vibes in the ways she described her fierce love for Isabella, who is always coming up with some type of mischief for them to get into. Isabella arrives to school after fighting a bout of malaria. Her life seems to be rooted in more myth than actual reality. We don't know exactly where she came from, and later the reader realizes that she suffers from something more than malaria (if that's even what it really was). No matter because Bridget is so hell bent on being Isabella's best friend that it didn't matter what Isabella did or said.
After graduating from their all-girls Catholic high school in Connecticut, both girls are accepted into a prestigious art history school in Italy for a year-long program. It's here that the bulk of the story takes place. Bridget tells no one about her mixed ancestry in her efforts to fit in and works even harder to win over Isabella's friendship. Her fierce desire to fit in made me cringe at times and Isabella's behavior reminded me of a narcissistic man in the way she seemed to take advantage of Bridget's love for her.
By the time I finished reading the novel, I was grateful to myself for never being one that desperately needed another's attention. Salam has written a fantastic summer read and I look forward to reading more of her books in the future.
May 7, 2022
Well, that broke my heart.
Belladonna is one of those queer coming-of-age stories featuring obsessive homoerotic friendships that I love so much. It's set in an Italian convent, discusses 1950s upper class girlhood, toxic love, and biracial struggles.
I understand why so many reviewers find it boring. Not much happens in this book, and it's actually way less dark than others in this subgenre. But somehow this is the intersection of all my interests. I also went to a Catholic all girls school which had St. Teresa as its patron saint. I also know what it's like to love your best friend deeply and above all else — to not get what all the fuss is about in regards to boys. So yeah, I guess this book hit home.
MC Bridget has been obsessed with her classmate Isabella from the moment they met. Isabella is wealthy, aloof, and unbelievably cool — and when the two girls somehow become friends, Bridget becomes desperate to please Isabella in every possible way. Eventually, they graduate high school and both get accepted into a one year art history course in an Italian convent. Bridget is over the moon to have Isabella there, obviously, but soon enough each girl has their own life and Isabella slips from Bridget's grasp.
This novel is quiet and restrained. There is no murder, no awful crime. The tragedy is in the relationships between the girls, and how Bridget and Isabella are awful in their own way. I felt for Bridget empathetically, even as she got more manipulative, lying and forcing her way into Isabella's heart. While nothing is named in-text, the queerness is actually pretty overt. Bridget reads as a lesbian to me. She admits to loving Isabella (that much is obvious even if she didn't say it), but even more — the two kiss, repeatedly, and Bridget obviously feels desire for her. And yet they never talk about it. Bridget is happy to be Isabella's best friend, her closest female friend, the only person who truly knows her, before Isabella grows up and marries the man her family has chosen for her.
The ending... Wow. It was totally unexpected, but it made the story even more painful.
I have a few complaints. I wish Bridget had more closure in regards to her feelings, though I understand that her not talking about it and the forced nature of her and Isabella's friendship is the point. And I did get impatient enough to skip some parts, but thankfully the writing isn't super purple. Just evocative. I've read many mlm books like this but there are much less wlw equivalents, so I'm glad this exists.
I'm going to sit here and hope that someday in the future, Bridget finds happiness with a woman she loves — and nobody has to be manipulated into it.
Belladonna is one of those queer coming-of-age stories featuring obsessive homoerotic friendships that I love so much. It's set in an Italian convent, discusses 1950s upper class girlhood, toxic love, and biracial struggles.
I understand why so many reviewers find it boring. Not much happens in this book, and it's actually way less dark than others in this subgenre. But somehow this is the intersection of all my interests. I also went to a Catholic all girls school which had St. Teresa as its patron saint. I also know what it's like to love your best friend deeply and above all else — to not get what all the fuss is about in regards to boys. So yeah, I guess this book hit home.
MC Bridget has been obsessed with her classmate Isabella from the moment they met. Isabella is wealthy, aloof, and unbelievably cool — and when the two girls somehow become friends, Bridget becomes desperate to please Isabella in every possible way. Eventually, they graduate high school and both get accepted into a one year art history course in an Italian convent. Bridget is over the moon to have Isabella there, obviously, but soon enough each girl has their own life and Isabella slips from Bridget's grasp.
This novel is quiet and restrained. There is no murder, no awful crime. The tragedy is in the relationships between the girls, and how Bridget and Isabella are awful in their own way. I felt for Bridget empathetically, even as she got more manipulative, lying and forcing her way into Isabella's heart. While nothing is named in-text, the queerness is actually pretty overt. Bridget reads as a lesbian to me. She admits to loving Isabella (that much is obvious even if she didn't say it), but even more — the two kiss, repeatedly, and Bridget obviously feels desire for her. And yet they never talk about it. Bridget is happy to be Isabella's best friend, her closest female friend, the only person who truly knows her, before Isabella grows up and marries the man her family has chosen for her.
The ending... Wow. It was totally unexpected, but it made the story even more painful.
I have a few complaints. I wish Bridget had more closure in regards to her feelings, though I understand that her not talking about it and the forced nature of her and Isabella's friendship is the point. And I did get impatient enough to skip some parts, but thankfully the writing isn't super purple. Just evocative. I've read many mlm books like this but there are much less wlw equivalents, so I'm glad this exists.
I'm going to sit here and hope that someday in the future, Bridget finds happiness with a woman she loves — and nobody has to be manipulated into it.
February 29, 2024
2024 reads: 50/250
in this coming-of-age story, we follow bridget and her friend isabella, recent high school graduates from connecticut who are now in italy to study art. as bridget reinvents herself, isabella becomes the only one who knows the real her. at first, bridget is the only one who knows the real isabella, but she begins to suspect isabella is keeping secrets from her. so begins a downward spiral of deceit, jealousy, and falling-out.
going into this book, i had no idea what to expect, and i think that worked out well for my reading experience. i liked how focused this was on the characters. there wasn’t much of a plot, but i was completely fine with this because of the character exploration. bridget was a complex character and i loved her as a main character. i also enjoyed anbara salam’s writing style and i can’t wait to read more from her!
in this coming-of-age story, we follow bridget and her friend isabella, recent high school graduates from connecticut who are now in italy to study art. as bridget reinvents herself, isabella becomes the only one who knows the real her. at first, bridget is the only one who knows the real isabella, but she begins to suspect isabella is keeping secrets from her. so begins a downward spiral of deceit, jealousy, and falling-out.
going into this book, i had no idea what to expect, and i think that worked out well for my reading experience. i liked how focused this was on the characters. there wasn’t much of a plot, but i was completely fine with this because of the character exploration. bridget was a complex character and i loved her as a main character. i also enjoyed anbara salam’s writing style and i can’t wait to read more from her!
July 30, 2024
A bit of a repetitive and underdeveloped read. I wanted to see more of a reckoning for the protagonist whose obsession with her aloof best friend singularly dominated this novel, but the narrative never really turned a corner. I find it frustrating when a book takes itself too seriously to be a breezy beach read yet not seriously enough to live up to its literary potential. The result was kind of just Temu Elena Ferrante.
May 11, 2024
A tender and heartbreaking portrayal of a complex friendship, love, and identity set against the idyllic backdrop of an Italian convent.
My heart ached for the MC even when she made terrible decisions. This is the type of read where you simultaneously want to shake the shoulders of the character, screaming at them, and also give them a big hug.
Will add more later.
My heart ached for the MC even when she made terrible decisions. This is the type of read where you simultaneously want to shake the shoulders of the character, screaming at them, and also give them a big hug.
Will add more later.
June 11, 2022
'Belladonna' is essentially about the turbulent relationship between two young adults who go to a silent convent in Northern Italy to study art after completing high-school. Having said that, the novel progresses through character-driven monologues, and subjective observations made by our narrator, Bridget. There isn't much of a plot. Bridget is, for the lack of a better term, 'obsessed' with 'Isabella' whom she considers herself to be very close to. What starts off as an innocent friendship quickly turns into obsession and toxicity.
Now, let's move on to my opinions about this book! About the prose, I absolutely fell in love with the writing style the author employed. Mind you, this is my first Anbara Salam book, so I didn't have a concrete idea of what I was getting myself into. Safe to say, I was pleasantly surprised by the excellent story-telling and character/emotions/thoughts explanations.
At times, I was really INFURIATED at Bridget's actions, as well as Isabella's. Both girls behaved unpleasantly at different times in the story. I was especially really unnerved by Bridget's actions and her fixation on Isabella. As the book went on, she became even more and more possessive and it was almost like she wanted to have Isabella all to herself all the time and shelter her from the outside world. Bridget always classified her feelings as 'caring' and 'loving' but i just felt like it was nothing pure and innocent, rather the opposite.
So initially I expected a cute wlw read but it was not that!!
Overall, this book will probably stay in my mind long after reading. I really enjoyed my time with it, and though it was slow at first, and might not be for people who like fast-paced and/or action-packed stories, it was an interesting read.
Now, let's move on to my opinions about this book! About the prose, I absolutely fell in love with the writing style the author employed. Mind you, this is my first Anbara Salam book, so I didn't have a concrete idea of what I was getting myself into. Safe to say, I was pleasantly surprised by the excellent story-telling and character/emotions/thoughts explanations.
At times, I was really INFURIATED at Bridget's actions, as well as Isabella's. Both girls behaved unpleasantly at different times in the story. I was especially really unnerved by Bridget's actions and her fixation on Isabella. As the book went on, she became even more and more possessive and it was almost like she wanted to have Isabella all to herself all the time and shelter her from the outside world. Bridget always classified her feelings as 'caring' and 'loving' but i just felt like it was nothing pure and innocent, rather the opposite.
So initially I expected a cute wlw read but it was not that!!
Overall, this book will probably stay in my mind long after reading. I really enjoyed my time with it, and though it was slow at first, and might not be for people who like fast-paced and/or action-packed stories, it was an interesting read.
March 19, 2022
nuns and lesbians x need I say more x
November 10, 2021
I finished this book a while ago now and I still think about it constantly throughout the day. Absolutely stunning with a dark, mysterious and mesmerising quality. I could feel the heat and taste the pastries. Just sumptuous writing by Anbara Salam - I cannot wait to read anything else she writes.
The story centres around 2 teenage girls who win places at a prestigious Academy in Italy in 1954.
Isabella and Bridget could not be more different in personality, but they have a strange, unspeakable and obsessive bond that no one can break, and finding out they will both be together in Italy in the height of summer is a dream come true. They are to be lodging in an old convent full of nuns who are not allowed to speak, and who teach others to be selective and sensitive with their own words which sets a strange tone for the otherwise loud and flamboyant characters who simply want to go wild. They are also to attend prayer and mass whilst there, which luckily does not quash the feeling of gay abandon that most of them feel having so much independence at such a young age. But Isabella is flighty, flirtatious and a free spirit, making friends with everyone at the Academy and Bridget is jealous that she is sometimes not a priority on Isabella's list. To her, Isabella is the most important thing in the world, and when their friendship is tested by a shocking rumour, Bridget realises that she must fight for Isabella's affections above all else, but has she already lost her?
I absolutely adore stories that paint an intense portrait of the era, the location and the weather as then I find myself jumping in headfirst and dissolving into a magical world where you can smell the perfumed flowers, feel the oppressive heat and sense the tension. This is one of those books, and I genuinely cannot recommend it enough. If anyone wants to know why I adore reading so much, you have only to pick this book up and it will show you.
The story centres around 2 teenage girls who win places at a prestigious Academy in Italy in 1954.
Isabella and Bridget could not be more different in personality, but they have a strange, unspeakable and obsessive bond that no one can break, and finding out they will both be together in Italy in the height of summer is a dream come true. They are to be lodging in an old convent full of nuns who are not allowed to speak, and who teach others to be selective and sensitive with their own words which sets a strange tone for the otherwise loud and flamboyant characters who simply want to go wild. They are also to attend prayer and mass whilst there, which luckily does not quash the feeling of gay abandon that most of them feel having so much independence at such a young age. But Isabella is flighty, flirtatious and a free spirit, making friends with everyone at the Academy and Bridget is jealous that she is sometimes not a priority on Isabella's list. To her, Isabella is the most important thing in the world, and when their friendship is tested by a shocking rumour, Bridget realises that she must fight for Isabella's affections above all else, but has she already lost her?
I absolutely adore stories that paint an intense portrait of the era, the location and the weather as then I find myself jumping in headfirst and dissolving into a magical world where you can smell the perfumed flowers, feel the oppressive heat and sense the tension. This is one of those books, and I genuinely cannot recommend it enough. If anyone wants to know why I adore reading so much, you have only to pick this book up and it will show you.
July 28, 2020
Belladonna explores the relationship between two young women - Bridget and Isabella. Seen through Bridget's adoring eyes, Isabella is sophisticated and mature compared to the other girls at their school. She's the sort of girl who effortlessly becomes the centre of attention. Conversely, Bridget is an outsider with a home life that she is anxious to conceal. In search of acceptance and a sense of belonging, not least because of her mixed race heritage that makes her the object of insidious racism, Bridget cherishes "the luxury of hope" that Isabella will become her friend.
Always alert for small signs of Isabella's favour - a glance, a word, a gesture - Bridget is overjoyed when Isabella returns her affection. Even better, there is the prospect of them spending time together studying art along with a group of other girls at the Accademia, housed in the convent of an order of silent nuns in northern Italy.
Arriving first at the Accademia, Bridget feels protective towards Isabella, wondering how the other girls will regard her. "Isabella had such a certain kind of boldness, it was hard to tell how the other girls would take to her. How much she would be hated, or loved." The fact Bridget imagines Isabella provoking such extreme emotions and not anything in between is in subtle contrast to the quiet restraint exhibited by the nuns.
As term starts, the author really captures the atmosphere of a boarding school-like situation: the petty jealousy, the cliques, the strained friendships, the fallings out over perceived small slights. The reader witnesses how Bridget continually tries to anticipate Isabella's changing moods, taking heart from small acts of kindness, even relishing being the only one who can understand Isabella's quirks and then pondering on things she's afraid she might have said wrong.
The nuanced depiction of the relationship between the young women was one I found fascinating and thought-provoking. I came to think that perhaps Isabella was more dependent on Bridget than Bridget supposed and that Bridget undervalued herself. As the reader witnesses through her dealings with others, Bridget is kind, witty, patient, a keen student. People like her. However, her desire to retain Isabella's affections - 'I'd have to be more interesting, more delightful' - when they seem to be directed elsewhere leads to a series of actions that will have unforseen consequences. In the end, there is a sense of betrayal on both sides.
One of the things I loved about the book was the way the effect of the changing seasons on the landscape surrounding the Academy was described. For example, arriving there for the first time in August, Bridget notices the fields "strumming with cicadas in jouncing waves of noise, the air gritty with toasted grass". Conversely, in winter, "The wind was sharp and sought out vulnerable skin to slice, slamming unseen doors, whistling frosty arias in the courtyard." The arrival of spring is marked by the plum trees in the orchards surrounding the convent springing into blossom so that, "The hills around the lake were a mantle of pink and white, a flurry of pastels and silk that flew in the air and settled on the water."
Belladonna is an acutely-observed exploration of the dynamics of a relationship. As Bridget learns, "Setting your heart on something doesn't mean it's a good idea... No matter how much you want it" and that "Sometimes love isn't enough."
Always alert for small signs of Isabella's favour - a glance, a word, a gesture - Bridget is overjoyed when Isabella returns her affection. Even better, there is the prospect of them spending time together studying art along with a group of other girls at the Accademia, housed in the convent of an order of silent nuns in northern Italy.
Arriving first at the Accademia, Bridget feels protective towards Isabella, wondering how the other girls will regard her. "Isabella had such a certain kind of boldness, it was hard to tell how the other girls would take to her. How much she would be hated, or loved." The fact Bridget imagines Isabella provoking such extreme emotions and not anything in between is in subtle contrast to the quiet restraint exhibited by the nuns.
As term starts, the author really captures the atmosphere of a boarding school-like situation: the petty jealousy, the cliques, the strained friendships, the fallings out over perceived small slights. The reader witnesses how Bridget continually tries to anticipate Isabella's changing moods, taking heart from small acts of kindness, even relishing being the only one who can understand Isabella's quirks and then pondering on things she's afraid she might have said wrong.
The nuanced depiction of the relationship between the young women was one I found fascinating and thought-provoking. I came to think that perhaps Isabella was more dependent on Bridget than Bridget supposed and that Bridget undervalued herself. As the reader witnesses through her dealings with others, Bridget is kind, witty, patient, a keen student. People like her. However, her desire to retain Isabella's affections - 'I'd have to be more interesting, more delightful' - when they seem to be directed elsewhere leads to a series of actions that will have unforseen consequences. In the end, there is a sense of betrayal on both sides.
One of the things I loved about the book was the way the effect of the changing seasons on the landscape surrounding the Academy was described. For example, arriving there for the first time in August, Bridget notices the fields "strumming with cicadas in jouncing waves of noise, the air gritty with toasted grass". Conversely, in winter, "The wind was sharp and sought out vulnerable skin to slice, slamming unseen doors, whistling frosty arias in the courtyard." The arrival of spring is marked by the plum trees in the orchards surrounding the convent springing into blossom so that, "The hills around the lake were a mantle of pink and white, a flurry of pastels and silk that flew in the air and settled on the water."
Belladonna is an acutely-observed exploration of the dynamics of a relationship. As Bridget learns, "Setting your heart on something doesn't mean it's a good idea... No matter how much you want it" and that "Sometimes love isn't enough."
Want to read
March 24, 2020
February 15, 2023
Rep: biracial Egyptian American lesbian mc, biracial Ethiopian Italian sapphic character, sapphic character
CWs: period typical racism
CWs: period typical racism
May 24, 2025
“And love doesn't automatically make someone a good person. Lover or -' She broke off. 'What's the opposite of lover?'
'Beloved.”
I saw myself and the way I give my whole heart and soul in every relationship when I read this: it broke me.
I saw much of myself in Bridget and, to think I absolutely hated her as a character. Her narrative, the way she was so obsessive and possessive over Isabella, hid information about herself and got mad about it when the truth came out... I just can't.
Anbara Salam's Belladonna is a beautiful, yet heart-breaking coming-of-age sapphic love story (ish) between two close friends. With the majority of the story taking place in a Catholic university in Italy, this novel was somewhat like a brutal lesson on 'if you ever loved someone, let them go' and it really hit me hard and I found myself in tears, especially at the end.
“Sometimes love isn't enough” and that is something I've always struggled with in relationships in my life and in a way this whole story embodies that.
'Beloved.”
I saw myself and the way I give my whole heart and soul in every relationship when I read this: it broke me.
I saw much of myself in Bridget and, to think I absolutely hated her as a character. Her narrative, the way she was so obsessive and possessive over Isabella, hid information about herself and got mad about it when the truth came out... I just can't.
Anbara Salam's Belladonna is a beautiful, yet heart-breaking coming-of-age sapphic love story (ish) between two close friends. With the majority of the story taking place in a Catholic university in Italy, this novel was somewhat like a brutal lesson on 'if you ever loved someone, let them go' and it really hit me hard and I found myself in tears, especially at the end.
“Sometimes love isn't enough” and that is something I've always struggled with in relationships in my life and in a way this whole story embodies that.
October 23, 2020
Such a tedious read
June 15, 2020
2.5⭐ rounded up to 3⭐
It is the late 1950s in Connecticut and Bridget is a the younger daughter of two girls born to a white father and an Egyptian mother. Bridget feels like she is the outsider in her small Catholic School because of her mother and her older sister's mysterious illness. Bridget is absolutely fascinated by her classmate, Isabella, and can always be founds lingering at the edge of social circles, hoping that Isabella will be her friend.
After high school, Bridget and Isabella are both chosen to attend a prestigious art history school in Northern Italy. Bridget loves that she can pretend to be whoever she wants while away at school. And Isabella seems to be willing to play along with Bridget as she reinvents herself.
I really wanted to love this book. However, it came across as too immature for me. Possibly, it would have been marketed as YA or New Adult. We never really figured out what illness Bridget's sister had, even though I think I figured it out. And it wasn't clear whether or not people where really judging her mother for being Egyptian. Bridget's insecurity seemed to overshadow reality and that really turned me off. I prefer to read about strong women.
It is the late 1950s in Connecticut and Bridget is a the younger daughter of two girls born to a white father and an Egyptian mother. Bridget feels like she is the outsider in her small Catholic School because of her mother and her older sister's mysterious illness. Bridget is absolutely fascinated by her classmate, Isabella, and can always be founds lingering at the edge of social circles, hoping that Isabella will be her friend.
After high school, Bridget and Isabella are both chosen to attend a prestigious art history school in Northern Italy. Bridget loves that she can pretend to be whoever she wants while away at school. And Isabella seems to be willing to play along with Bridget as she reinvents herself.
I really wanted to love this book. However, it came across as too immature for me. Possibly, it would have been marketed as YA or New Adult. We never really figured out what illness Bridget's sister had, even though I think I figured it out. And it wasn't clear whether or not people where really judging her mother for being Egyptian. Bridget's insecurity seemed to overshadow reality and that really turned me off. I prefer to read about strong women.
April 6, 2025
3.5
I liked this, but I felt that I wanted more in many aspects.
I love books about girlhood. I love it when authors can capture raw emotions and unfiltered thoughts from my teenage years. I do think that this book does that well, the FMC’s thoughts are never censored.
However, I wanted more development from everyone, including and especially the FMC. This felt almost like a draft of the final product. I think it has a lot of potential if the author sat down and really focused on fleshing out and further developing the characters. It’s a book where not a lot happens, so it relies heavily on character development, but there’s not enough of it.
I liked this, but I felt that I wanted more in many aspects.
I love books about girlhood. I love it when authors can capture raw emotions and unfiltered thoughts from my teenage years. I do think that this book does that well, the FMC’s thoughts are never censored.
However, I wanted more development from everyone, including and especially the FMC. This felt almost like a draft of the final product. I think it has a lot of potential if the author sat down and really focused on fleshing out and further developing the characters. It’s a book where not a lot happens, so it relies heavily on character development, but there’s not enough of it.
February 24, 2024
I'm not a huge historical fiction reader, but I wanted to pick it up because it's a sapphic book by a Palestinian author, and I'd seen a lot of positive reviews. Ultimately, this book is too far out of my comfort zone, because of the genre, for me to actually love it. Still, I did find it engaging, and while I didn't like the main character as a person, I did think she was interesting to read about.
June 19, 2025
warning: spoilers ahead
this one’s tricky. i keep going back and forth between three stars, four stars, and five. because on one hand, i ended up not liking how this panned out, even though the beginning had me hooked and reeling from moments where i understood bridget too well. but the ending felt rushed, and ultimately a dishonor to the main character. the reckoning with her arch happened on one page in a swift moment that didn’t really have the impact it wanted to make. i also feel like i understand why the author decided to write the story in this way.
we follow bridget, a girl from connecticut who develops an obsession with the new girl in school, isabella. she graduates and ends up going to the same art history school as her, where she tries to solidify their friendship through tactful, deceitful means. and the funny part? i didn’t really harbor much hatred for her for doing this. she is also facing racism for being half arab, and spends the entirety of the book hiding this part of herself to win the favor of her peers.
one theme that stands out is the death of the self. this is referenced by sister teresa, who describes this process of emptying yourself of everything you are so that god may fill you with him. i took this to mirror exactly what bridget is going through: suppressing nearly everything about herself to be well liked by others, especially isabella. she betrays her ethnicity, her sick sister and the rest of her family, her hometown, and even her own reactions and responses. they’re all carefully calculated so that they’re not only seen as acceptable by others, but admired by them. she has virtually killed herself so that isabella’s love may fill her. and the tragic thing is that sister teresa, or rosaria, is her foil.
sister teresa is not able to betray herself. she does things you wouldn’t expect of a nun; she smokes, laughs loudly, and behaves at times like a regular girl would. to the point where bridget begins separating her between these two parts of herself— sister teresa the nun, and rosaria the girl. and in the end, it was rosaria’s true embracement of herself that wins isabella’s heart. the very thing bridget could not do. no matter how much she showed her love to isabella, she was never really her true self.
which is what makes this particularly heartbreaking. no matter everything bridget has done to gain isabella’s affection, no matter the carefully crafted persona she tried so hard to put on for her, it’s a person who accepts themselves and chooses themselves wholly and fully that ends up with isabella.
really punches you in the gut. ugh. so yeah, i’ll settle on three stars because while i feel like bridget has been done so incredibly dirty, i do appreciate the execution to an extent. the ending was, again, rushed and bridget’s arc just didn’t feel complete to me.
listen bridget, isabella isn’t even all that great. i hope you meet another arab lesbian who you fall so head over heels for and who falls even harder for you and makes you feel like you have to be nothing but yourself to be loved.
some quotes that stuck out to me:
“If I was careful to be quiet, small, I might be able to revert Isabella’s mood.”
“It had been nice, for a while, to be anonymous, unremarkable.”
“I tried to control my expression. Was she being cruel or was it a joke?”
“It’s no fun being an accessory to someone else’s adventure.”
“It’s totally possible to keep on loving someone, even if you don’t like them very much.”
this one’s tricky. i keep going back and forth between three stars, four stars, and five. because on one hand, i ended up not liking how this panned out, even though the beginning had me hooked and reeling from moments where i understood bridget too well. but the ending felt rushed, and ultimately a dishonor to the main character. the reckoning with her arch happened on one page in a swift moment that didn’t really have the impact it wanted to make. i also feel like i understand why the author decided to write the story in this way.
we follow bridget, a girl from connecticut who develops an obsession with the new girl in school, isabella. she graduates and ends up going to the same art history school as her, where she tries to solidify their friendship through tactful, deceitful means. and the funny part? i didn’t really harbor much hatred for her for doing this. she is also facing racism for being half arab, and spends the entirety of the book hiding this part of herself to win the favor of her peers.
one theme that stands out is the death of the self. this is referenced by sister teresa, who describes this process of emptying yourself of everything you are so that god may fill you with him. i took this to mirror exactly what bridget is going through: suppressing nearly everything about herself to be well liked by others, especially isabella. she betrays her ethnicity, her sick sister and the rest of her family, her hometown, and even her own reactions and responses. they’re all carefully calculated so that they’re not only seen as acceptable by others, but admired by them. she has virtually killed herself so that isabella’s love may fill her. and the tragic thing is that sister teresa, or rosaria, is her foil.
sister teresa is not able to betray herself. she does things you wouldn’t expect of a nun; she smokes, laughs loudly, and behaves at times like a regular girl would. to the point where bridget begins separating her between these two parts of herself— sister teresa the nun, and rosaria the girl. and in the end, it was rosaria’s true embracement of herself that wins isabella’s heart. the very thing bridget could not do. no matter how much she showed her love to isabella, she was never really her true self.
which is what makes this particularly heartbreaking. no matter everything bridget has done to gain isabella’s affection, no matter the carefully crafted persona she tried so hard to put on for her, it’s a person who accepts themselves and chooses themselves wholly and fully that ends up with isabella.
really punches you in the gut. ugh. so yeah, i’ll settle on three stars because while i feel like bridget has been done so incredibly dirty, i do appreciate the execution to an extent. the ending was, again, rushed and bridget’s arc just didn’t feel complete to me.
listen bridget, isabella isn’t even all that great. i hope you meet another arab lesbian who you fall so head over heels for and who falls even harder for you and makes you feel like you have to be nothing but yourself to be loved.
some quotes that stuck out to me:
“If I was careful to be quiet, small, I might be able to revert Isabella’s mood.”
“It had been nice, for a while, to be anonymous, unremarkable.”
“I tried to control my expression. Was she being cruel or was it a joke?”
“It’s no fun being an accessory to someone else’s adventure.”
“It’s totally possible to keep on loving someone, even if you don’t like them very much.”
June 24, 2021
Well, that was. . .rather disappointing.
I mean, if I had to break this down by chapter and line it up against an actual story structure, (even a screenwriting one) I don't think I could tell you what the inciting incident was. Or the B Story.
Not a lot going on for 325 pages: just one girl with an inferiority complex vying for the attention of another, who doesn't even want her--and their group of one-dimensional friends who wander around and gossip about nuns and smoke all day. Also the ending felt rushed.
I thought this was a "prestigious art history school," according to the premise? The author hardly spoke on any of it. Like I couldn't find one scene where students were actually being taught. Am I supposed to believe these students landed "coveted" spots to enroll?
I get this is set in 1950s Italy, but I've seen Old Hollywood movies with more vibrant dialogue and memorable characters. Sorry.
Really wanted to love this book, but I don't feel connected to any of these people, and that's what frustrates me; it's as if the author traded actual character arcs for the sole protagonist's obsession with her friend, Isabella (whose talent is having pretty privilege, and whose popularity is based on. . . .well, I don't even know.)
And maybe I'm biased, but I prefer dark themes and crime fiction and characters who have actual motives and something to lose or gain under pressure. Not a historical fiction about a girl who fantasizes all day, and then resolves to sulking when her "friend" doesn't pay attention to her. Like how is this a coming-of-age novel if you continue to entertain ONE VERSION of yourself and a childish mentality for thirty-four chapters? Please explain.
Interesting premise according to the synopsis? I suppose.
Did I love the descriptive writing (minus the key repetitive phrases)? Sure.
But a page-turner full of strong characters who develop through the lackluster plot enough to keep me invested so I don't have to skip through pure nothingness?
This ain't it.
I mean, if I had to break this down by chapter and line it up against an actual story structure, (even a screenwriting one) I don't think I could tell you what the inciting incident was. Or the B Story.
Not a lot going on for 325 pages: just one girl with an inferiority complex vying for the attention of another, who doesn't even want her--and their group of one-dimensional friends who wander around and gossip about nuns and smoke all day. Also the ending felt rushed.
I thought this was a "prestigious art history school," according to the premise? The author hardly spoke on any of it. Like I couldn't find one scene where students were actually being taught. Am I supposed to believe these students landed "coveted" spots to enroll?
I get this is set in 1950s Italy, but I've seen Old Hollywood movies with more vibrant dialogue and memorable characters. Sorry.
Really wanted to love this book, but I don't feel connected to any of these people, and that's what frustrates me; it's as if the author traded actual character arcs for the sole protagonist's obsession with her friend, Isabella (whose talent is having pretty privilege, and whose popularity is based on. . . .well, I don't even know.)
And maybe I'm biased, but I prefer dark themes and crime fiction and characters who have actual motives and something to lose or gain under pressure. Not a historical fiction about a girl who fantasizes all day, and then resolves to sulking when her "friend" doesn't pay attention to her. Like how is this a coming-of-age novel if you continue to entertain ONE VERSION of yourself and a childish mentality for thirty-four chapters? Please explain.
Interesting premise according to the synopsis? I suppose.
Did I love the descriptive writing (minus the key repetitive phrases)? Sure.
But a page-turner full of strong characters who develop through the lackluster plot enough to keep me invested so I don't have to skip through pure nothingness?
This ain't it.
August 15, 2021
"It's totally possible to keep on loving someone even if you don't like them very much."
delightful and meditative. i fell in love with this book, and, in particular, enjoyed salam's vivid and dreamy prose and the fraught, intense relationship between bridget and isabella that she depicted so beautifully. i'm always a sucker for all-consuming, probably toxic, possibly gay friendships between women in media, and this book was no exception. i also really enjoyed the characters on their own, though bridget and isabella were def my favorites and the most developed imo. the writing was lovely and atmospheric, and the setting felt so real and beautiful the way salam described it. definitely looking forward to reading more of her work in the future!
delightful and meditative. i fell in love with this book, and, in particular, enjoyed salam's vivid and dreamy prose and the fraught, intense relationship between bridget and isabella that she depicted so beautifully. i'm always a sucker for all-consuming, probably toxic, possibly gay friendships between women in media, and this book was no exception. i also really enjoyed the characters on their own, though bridget and isabella were def my favorites and the most developed imo. the writing was lovely and atmospheric, and the setting felt so real and beautiful the way salam described it. definitely looking forward to reading more of her work in the future!
December 13, 2022
DNF @24%
-Disclaimer: I won this book for free through Goodreads giveaways in exchange for an honest review.-
I could not get past the writing. It made me yawn to the point tears came out of my eyes. If it wasn't boring images of scenery, it was gross descriptions.
Examples,
"My stomach coiled into a rope".
"The barb landed in my throat, hard and sour as a bee sting".
"My heart pulsed so painfully it throbbed in my jawbone".
There was no character development. Plenty of dull plot points, though. Isabella's secret was disappointing. Bridget and Isabella didn't have enough deep conversations/moments for me to care about their relationship. As always, I skimmed and was let down by the way the story wrapped up. Altogether, this was not the nun lesbian adventure I hoped it would be.
-Disclaimer: I won this book for free through Goodreads giveaways in exchange for an honest review.-
I could not get past the writing. It made me yawn to the point tears came out of my eyes. If it wasn't boring images of scenery, it was gross descriptions.
Examples,
"My stomach coiled into a rope".
"The barb landed in my throat, hard and sour as a bee sting".
"My heart pulsed so painfully it throbbed in my jawbone".
There was no character development. Plenty of dull plot points, though. Isabella's secret was disappointing. Bridget and Isabella didn't have enough deep conversations/moments for me to care about their relationship. As always, I skimmed and was let down by the way the story wrapped up. Altogether, this was not the nun lesbian adventure I hoped it would be.
October 30, 2021
Not your usual love story.
I can't say I loved this story but I enjoyed most of it. The characters weren't perfect or even good, they were just human. They made terrible choices, and it worked with the story somehow.
I have to say I didn't like most of the characters, especially Bridget. She reminded me of Alison from PLL. But I liked reading her thoughts and felt her pain even when she had it coming and deserved it.
I can't say I loved this story but I enjoyed most of it. The characters weren't perfect or even good, they were just human. They made terrible choices, and it worked with the story somehow.
I have to say I didn't like most of the characters, especially Bridget. She reminded me of Alison from PLL. But I liked reading her thoughts and felt her pain even when she had it coming and deserved it.
March 29, 2020
I won this in a goodreads giveaway. Wasn’t my type of book but many others seemed to have liked it!
December 8, 2025
This was a different kind of evil. And no one here gets it. “Friends, friendship, best friend….” Sure..
July 8, 2020
We follow two girls through their final years in Catholic school where one is extremely popular (Isabella) and the other wants nothing more than to be popular or just be her friend (Bridget). Bridget feels that she isn’t accepted because she is “mixed”, Egyptian mom, European father. After graduation these same two girls go abroad to a “prestigious art history school” set in a silent convent. Here the roles are reversed and Bridget thrives, all the while keeping her family life hidden by lies to avoid having to explain. Isabella is wild and carefree and Bridget is very self-centered only ever thinking of herself, including lying about her sick sister.
Honestly, this book had so much potential with good ideas but it all seemed very surface to me never really getting deep on anything. What was the sister’s illness? What was the story on the parents? What was Isabella’s backstory? There was so much thought and detail put into describing the surroundings or painting a picture of the scene, which is fine, but why not build that on the characters. I did not connect with any of the people in the book and thought about not finishing it multiple times. 😔. Again, it had a lot of potential but just didn’t really do it for me.
I won this book/ARC in a Goodreads Giveaway.
Honestly, this book had so much potential with good ideas but it all seemed very surface to me never really getting deep on anything. What was the sister’s illness? What was the story on the parents? What was Isabella’s backstory? There was so much thought and detail put into describing the surroundings or painting a picture of the scene, which is fine, but why not build that on the characters. I did not connect with any of the people in the book and thought about not finishing it multiple times. 😔. Again, it had a lot of potential but just didn’t really do it for me.
I won this book/ARC in a Goodreads Giveaway.
June 2, 2020
I was very disappointed by this book. The story could have been poignant. Instead Anbara Salam's characters leave you not caring what happens to them. Although Bridget is obsessed with Isabella, throughout the book she only worries about how things affect her. She shows no real care and concern for her family or friends. She lies to everyone. Isabella plays with Bridget like a toy. The writing wasn't great. Overall it's hard to like a book when you don't care about the characters.
February 26, 2020
I received an ARC of this book. I’m sorry to say I really didn’t enjoy this book. To me, there wasn’t much of a story line..Bridget wanted Isabella. It seemed quite childish, more like young teens. Also, there were so many descriptions of everything, relevant or not. The second half of the book was better but overall needs more depth and polish. Just not for me...sorry ☹️
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