DAME AGATHA CHRISTIE AND HER PEERS
From the back cover of this edition (Knut Publication, 2015): "The novel is considered as one of the best detective adventure thriller in 20th century." Those are the exact words. The font of the novel is so small I had to read only in bright, direct daylight. Do I dare trust a single word here given bad grammar and tiny font? This is the last publication from Knut that I'll read. But to the contents...
CAST - 4 stars: A William Potticary (from the 14th century England, specifically Lower Low South Mary Jane Village: your local pot dealer) finds a body on the beach. He alerts Bill Gunter (missing an 'r' after "G", who works at the nearby Coastgaurd Station, or at least hangs around there, as we never find out). I think it was the attraction to the phallic lighthouse, all in all. And then, we never hear from either of them again...or do we? Tey likes to toss in last-page clues, after all. She prides herself on writing against the grain. Probably the most interesting character is Christine Clay, who is dead when the book opens and her REAL name is Christine Gotobed. Gotobed? Maybe it's pronounced Ga-tob'ed. But she changed it to Clay cause she's a movie star. Good choice. She is married to Lord Edward Champneis. Now, Tey tells us that his last name is pronounced "Chins". Tey is messing with us: we'd really like to know how Gotobed is pronounced. Then there is "Captain Somebody". I am pretty sure Captain is really a California rapper and his last name is pronounce Show-me-booty. I have to mention Mr. Jay Harmer, who likes to dress in a 'purple silk dressing gown..." You just know someone named Harmer and dressed like this isn't going to harm anyone, unless via a really bad haircut. (Hey, I didn't write this book.) Another character is Clement Clements, and you can tell Tey really stretches her imagination here. Finally, I'll mention Togare, the Lion Trainer, the love of Christine Clay's life and a person who plays a huge part...no wait, a person who is mentioned once and for no apparent reason. Oh, yea, Inspector Grant. Pronounced "Doorknob"....as in "Dumb as a...." I like Togare though, and the lion. And Erica Burgoyne, whose father is a Constable but he is a smaller doorknob than Grant so it is Erica to do all the running around. She's a very, very smart Nancy Drew. Loved her. (But she may be the killer!) Yea, Tey writes anti-detective books with anti-detective book names. Got it. But you can't beat this cast for odd names and questionable motives and very questionable drug use and even more questionable sexuality, not that any of that is a bad thing. 4 stars: wildly, stupendously absurd, but oh so entertaining.
ATMOSPHERE - 3: Early, Potticary, who "belonged to a generation which did not know swimsuits" says that he has found "...a woman. In a bright green bathing dress [dead]." Tey knows her fashion history! Whoo-Hoo! But I bet Harmer and his purple could teach her a thing or two. Everyone has tea. A lot. But since Tey is such an anti-detective/mystery writer, will there be a creepy cult-like church. YES! Will there be a Tichnor-type case, a mysterious stranger suddenly appearing from Australia with a mysterious identity! YES! The cast is the thing is this book.
PLOT - 3: Christine Clay, famous actress, is drowned in the ocean. She has a will for her estate, and, OF COURSE, writes a codicil the day before she dies, leaving most of her movie-fortune to a man she just picked up a few days before from a corner on the street. His name is Robin Tisdale but he USED to be Robin Shannaway (Get it? Tisdale-Tichnor). Lawyer Erskine swears the codicil is real. But is it. And who is Robin anyway? Oh, and she leaves 'a shilling for candles' to her brother Herbert. Good plot, standard.
INVESTIGATION - 2: The actual murderer SCREAMS his/her identity to Grant and to the reader early in the book. Grant is completely overwhelmed by what this person says, then never bothers to check up on it. Inexplicable. Grant does nothing much but accidentally, finally, comes across a news article and gets it all. By accident. Now, Erica is on the run for much of the novel. She's running around in her car called "Tinny" and working hard. She is DESPERATE to find 1) a coat with a missing button and 2) the last person to see one character who disappears and 3) knows way too much (probably cause she's read her father's (the Constables) files and 4) just happens to pick up a lot of travel books for "Nannie" (in case, maybe, she needs to disappear fast) and 5) is athletic and could have easily drowned Christine...but SAYS she is afraid of water. She runs into a guy named Bill eventually (is it Grunter/Gunter) and he has the best line in the book: "Tramps are queer taste for a girl with a healthy appetite.".
RESOLUTION: 2: Murder solved on about page 40 (of 142). BUT, we don't understand some alibis until this person named Rimnik is smuggled into England as a refugee or something. (Has nothing to do with the plot.) I can't tell you the smuggler's names, but both are men, and Grant notices that both are 'immediately attracted' to each other, then promises not to talk about it! Why, it wasn't Grunter after the phallic lighthouse anyway! And one of the two men is the hot handsome character of the story.
SUMMARY: 2.8. Overall, just weirdly odd. The names are ridiculous, trite, original, and unbelievable, all at the same time. The investigation pointless other than Erica's great impression of Nancy Drew. The murder is solved early, but Tey doesn't write 'detective novels'. But odd lines come fast and furious: "...the fussy [lawyer] Erskine, his composure was like that of a liner suffering the administrations of a tug." Well, I NEVER! But there is a website for that. It's called 'tugnation.com' and oddly goes fine with the publishers name, KNUT. And when Chins (Christine Clay's husband) says of the ladies after they hear of Clay's death: "...I would have seen that mass of hysteria riddled this morning with more joy than I can describe to you. Not because it was Chris, but because they make me ashamed of being human, of belonging to the same species," you might think as I did: "WTF?" Somebody, or maybe the entire cast, is smoked up on Potticarry's weed/product. And finally, this exchange:
"What is it, Jammy. Pyorrhea?"
"No. He's practicing to be a dictator. You begin with the expression"
"No, you don't. You begin with the hair."
Well, yes, at least in America. Or a really bad mustache in Germany. What, exactly, is this novel about anyway? This reminds me so much of the first time I read Raymond Chandler's "Big Sleep:" only after an annotated version did it make sense...or rather, did I realize Chandler didn't mean for it to make sense. And, when all is said and done, is it Tey, alone with a pipe, in the attic?