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You Can Be a Cyborg When You're Older

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In the bleak future of West Angel City, Vanity Rose is having a great time. She has a loving robot caretaker, a fake elf for a sister, and she roams the walls of West Angel's endless skyscrapers every night, thanks to her precious gravity shoes. What Vanity doesn't have are money and adventure, but she has a plan to get both. She's going to walk the dark side, joining the thieves and mercenaries who get paid to do all the little jobs that make a corrupt city go around. She'll only have to deal with killer robots, vengeance-crazed and not very bright computer programs, cyborg vampires, telepathic capybaras, mean girl mech pilots, and have every homemade weapon in the city pointed at her. Fourteen is old enough for that, right?

271 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 20, 2020

38 people are currently reading
69 people want to read

About the author

Richard Roberts

24 books419 followers
I've been writing for a long, long time. A long, long, long time. Do you remember when dirt was invented? I was using it to scratch out stories. Getting published was harder, but now I'm hooked up with Curiosity Quills and I have real books in paper, and you should buy some!

As a writer my fascination has always been children's literature, especially children's lit that is also adult lit. For some reason, this means that instead I write gothic light romance for fun, and very dark and tragic young adult books for passion. I love seeing the world through the eyes of strange people, and I believe that happy endings must be earned the hard way. There's a reason my friends started calling me Frankensteinbeck.

I could talk about how great my writing is until I turn blue, but I should let an expert do that for me. Check out the Kirkus Review for Sweet Dreams Are Made Of Teeth!

http://www.kirkusreviews.com/book-rev...

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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
Profile Image for She-who-must-not-be-named .
180 reviews1,538 followers
March 22, 2020
The story is about a teen exploring a futuristic sci-fi world with holier-than-thou pilots, crazy ass robots, cyborg vampires, various factions at war and what not.

Vanity Rose is an orphan who is taken care of by a robot. She is adventurous and tries her best to get out of the world of tyranny and in doing so, she breaks a lot of rules. And the best part about it all is that she's only fourteen.

The novel has parts of dystopia, fantasy, horror, action and cyberpunk impeccably woven into a fast-paced intelligible plot. It is action-packed, laced with hilarity and vengeance and is definitely a must read cyberpunk novel.
Profile Image for C.T. Phipps.
Author 93 books670 followers
July 4, 2021
YOU CAN BE A CYBORG WHEN YOU'RE OLDER is a Young Adult affectionate parody of 80s cyberpunk. It's an interesting twist, implementing a lot of tropes that only adult readers will get and not necessarily all of them but also a great way of introducing the genre to people who wouldn't normally be familiar with it. It also takes a number of pot shots at the sillier ideas in the world of neon, rain, androids, and street samurai. As a fan of both cyberpunk and Richard Robert's PLEASE DONT TELL MY PARENTS I'M A SUPERVILLAIN series, I was very excited to get into this book.

The premise is that an orphanage in the most run-down part of a decaying urban hellscape is run by a malfunctioning but benevolent gynoid named Ms. Understanding. Vanity Rose is the 14 year old antiheroine of the book that is cursed with machine telepathy (a disability in her world) and fear for the orphanage shutting down at any time.

Vanity decides to raise some money for her home and the best way to do that turns out to be organized crime for corporate thugs. However, this turns out to be harder than it sounds (and it sounds quite difficult). Vanity soon finds herself on the run from several shady characters and reliant on her fellow oddball orphans to get out of the mess she's gotten herself into.

Richard Roberts has an immense love of cyberpunk and it shows with every page, making frequent homages to everything from literature to anime to video games. I also think I spotted a few tabletop RPG references as well. That doesn't mean his world is unorginal, though. Indeed, there's several surreal and satirical elements that make it quite fascinating. For instance, one of the largest religions in West Angel City is the Enchanted. People who use bio-modding, cybernetics, and costume jewelry to live their lives in a perpetual World of Warcraft LARP. Except the elves and necromancers are actually willing to kill each other.

There's a couple of gratuitous references as well, like when Vanity spends a chapter as a teenage mecha pilot but these things are likely to bring a smile to your face if you're familiar with the sources the author is drawing from. However, I actually came to really like the garish and strange world that the book depicts. There's even a decent description of a robotic society created from those cast offs that have been left behind to carry out their tasks long after their masters have abandoned them.

Vanity is a good lead character even if I think that making her sixteen years old would have probably fit the storyline better. She does a little too many roof jumping and hacking things for me to buy her as a preteen. Still, it's nice to have a well-adjusted cyberpunk heroine and the fact that the only reason she doesn't swear up a storm is because of a literal profanity filter built into her brain. That was a clever way of acknowledging her "punkness" would never fly in a typical YA book.

The weird juxtaposition of fairy tale and Eighties cyberpunk is really the heart of this strange brew as you have a technologically created Old Mother Hubbard, elves, undead, and magic combined with all the trappings of Neuromancer as well as Snow Crash. Really, it's surprising it's not MORE like Shadowrun given how crazy it all is. I'll admit that it took a bit to fully immerse myself in the world but by the time I did, I absolutely loved it and declare this my favorite of his books. I recommend between text and audiobook that fans check out the Arielle Delisle narrated version as she does a fantastic job bringing the characters to life.
Profile Image for Chris.
77 reviews9 followers
February 5, 2020
" All We Wanted Was To Make You Happy ."

I'm not much one for synopsizes. I really don't feel I can do this (or any) story justice by trying to cram it down into a few sentences. Suffice to say that the book is an examination of the life of one Vanity Rose. A fourteen year old in some nebulous future version of California.

In tone, this book falls somewhere in between Roberts' earlier works. It's not as light as the Please Don't Tell My Parents I'm a Supervillain series, nor is it as dark as Quite Contrary. Vanity lacks the sheltered innocence of Bad Penny, but also lacks the fatalism of Mary.

One of the most amusing points in the book, is that it's carefully screened for younger audiences, lacking blatant swears or bad language. However, this is actually lamp-shaded in the book because the main character has a "profanity filter" built into ... herself? It's not clear how, but the results are amusing, and occasionally even hilarious, as Vanity wrestles with rage and attempts to curse, only to be stymied by her own "profanity filter".

The other amusing point of note is that this is one of the best Cyberpunk books I've seen in years. It examines both post and transhumanism in detail. It looks at how AIs might be used, and ... tragically, what might go wrong with them. And even at the intersection of AI and humanity. More to the point, it looks a what cybernetics and bio-genetic manipulation might end up being used for when they pass beyond the realms of the theoretic and medical and into the nity-grity everyday world. Calling to mind Bruce Sterling's Mechs and Shapers.

The book looks at fads and trends present in our everyday world, and wonders what the world might look like (and act like) in a day when today's cos-players have thousands of times the power to act out their dreams and visions.

I think I liked Bad Penny better, but this was still a fun read, with lots of fascinating ideas. Highly recommended.

As always: I paid retail price for the Kindle version of this book, my thoughts on it are my own. They were neither solicited by, nor compensated for, by the author or by the publisher.
42 reviews
January 21, 2020
Let's get this out of the way. In a great book with an intriguing and engaging main character the true star of the show is still somehow the setting. It feels rich and detailed with everything from grandiose ideas like a Mars colony to little everyday things like an app to make sure your cat isn't drinking the acid rain.
I've mentioned Vanity (definitely not Vanity Rose) and it's through her eyes that we get to know the city, usually at 90 degrees to the vertical and fifty stories up as she parkours around in her gravity boots. One or two such scenes were so well written I got a trace of vertigo. If you liked Penny from Please Don't Tell My Parents I'm a Supervillain then you'll like Vanity, but she very definitely has her own unique voice.
The story itself is very good. Unintended consequences both good and bad ripple out to affect almost everything that's going on, and that's part of what makes the world feel real and unbounded. The theme of the book for me was that whilst it's set in a dystopia the people in it are all still people, even if they're not human anymore or never were. Vanity meets as many good people who help her out because it's the nice thing to do as hardened souls who only look out for themselves, almost like real life.
In summary, an excellent book and one I'd encourage anyone with the slightest interest to read.
Profile Image for Tobias.
3 reviews2 followers
December 25, 2019
Richard Roberts has yet again taken an already-fantastical genre to even more wondrous and whimsical lengths, this time with an over-the-top blend of cyberpunk and fantasypunk elements full of great characters ranging from standard-issue humans to robots, catpeople, elfs and every point on the spectra between, with the perfect blend of quirkiness, darkness and sincerity that fans of the author know and love. The protagonist is a confident, daring teenager who revels in her moments of freedom and is intent on becoming more independent, but she is also compassionate and (when needed) selfless and doesn't fall into the insidious, harmful "not-like-other-girls" trope.

Between the literally–gravity defying action sequences and heartfelt moments of vulnerability, the book is difficult to put down; you want to keep reading until the next clue or moment of character growth. One of the things I love about Roberts' writing is the way he leaves breadcrumbs and builds up to to the big reveals, and You Can Be A Cyborg When You're Older absolutely delivers.
Profile Image for Markus Matthews.
Author 21 books40 followers
March 8, 2020
Trippy, but a fun read.

I love the author’s Penny series, so I took a chance and picked this book up. You can be Cyborg when you’re Older, is a science fiction novel which incorporates elements of fantasy and horror to it and that makes it a bit hard to get into. Jumping from Mechs to fantasy elves in the span of a couple chapters is a bit disorienting.

With those criticisms out of the way, the characters are fun and interesting. The author’s writing style is always first rate. I found the author reminds me of Tim Burton’s films in that they both have slightly out there concepts, but always manage to make those elements strangely endearing to the reader/viewer.

Vanity Rose is a great lead character and her Fry Smiley nemesis in the novel was awesome. It reminded me of Microsoft’s dreaded Clippy, and who hasn’t wanted to kill that abomination?

If you can get over all the genre blending in the book, You can be a Cyborg when you’re Older makes for an enjoyable yarn.
Profile Image for William Howe.
1,800 reviews88 followers
January 22, 2020
Chaos

The first half of the book is much like the MC: ADD plus rebellious streak plus impulsive young teen girl plus edgy plus... it’s hard to track what is going on as the world is being formed in bits and scattered pieces. Very manic, very declarative, very mercurial.

The plot really only hits its mark about midway through the book. Even from there it can be a rough ride.

It ended rather abruptly. Not unfinished, more uninterested in happily-ever-afters.

The cautionary bits about AI were fascinating.

I will likely read the author’s next novel. Very imaginative worlds.
319 reviews4 followers
April 10, 2020
Genius

This book is pure genius. An young adult sci-fi with cyber-punk elements, fantasy elements, a distopian future reminiscent of Jhony Mnemonic ,and Blade Runner, intricately carved in amazing detail, plenty of action, teenage optimism, spunk, style and weird but well made characters. An excellent book well worth it.
15 reviews
February 7, 2020
Another solid book

Set in a world that reminded me of a lighthearted version of the old Shadowrun series, this book is superior to anything the book description might remind you of. Many of the sensibilities of his terrific earlier books carry over into this new world.
Profile Image for Kelly Hatcher.
18 reviews3 followers
February 10, 2020
Wizard of Oz meets Cyberpunk

A YA dystopic future coming of age story, with the heroine dealing with elves, vampires, and homicidal AIs in an effort to fix her biggest mistake.
Profile Image for C.T. Phipps.
Author 93 books670 followers
July 4, 2021
YOU CAN BE A CYBORG WHEN YOU'RE OLDER is a Young Adult affectionate parody of 80s cyberpunk. It's an interesting twist, implementing a lot of tropes that only adult readers will get and not necessarily all of them but also a great way of introducing the genre to people who wouldn't normally be familiar with it. It also takes a number of pot shots at the sillier ideas in the world of neon, rain, androids, and street samurai. As a fan of both cyberpunk and Richard Robert's PLEASE DONT TELL MY PARENTS I'M A SUPERVILLAIN series, I was very excited to get into this book.

The premise is that an orphanage in the most run-down part of a decaying urban hellscape is run by a malfunctioning but benevolent gynoid named Ms. Understanding. Vanity Rose is the 14 year old antiheroine of the book that is cursed with machine telepathy (a disability in her world) and fear for the orphanage shutting down at any time.

Vanity decides to raise some money for her home and the best way to do that turns out to be organized crime for corporate thugs. However, this turns out to be harder than it sounds (and it sounds quite difficult). Vanity soon finds herself on the run from several shady characters and reliant on her fellow oddball orphans to get out of the mess she's gotten herself into.

Richard Roberts has an immense love of cyberpunk and it shows with every page, making frequent homages to everything from literature to anime to video games. I also think I spotted a few tabletop RPG references as well. That doesn't mean his world is unorginal, though. Indeed, there's several surreal and satirical elements that make it quite fascinating. For instance, one of the largest religions in West Angel City is the Enchanted. People who use bio-modding, cybernetics, and costume jewelry to live their lives in a perpetual World of Warcraft LARP. Except the elves and necromancers are actually willing to kill each other.

There's a couple of gratuitous references as well, like when Vanity spends a chapter as a teenage mecha pilot but these things are likely to bring a smile to your face if you're familiar with the sources the author is drawing from. However, I actually came to really like the garish and strange world that the book depicts. There's even a decent description of a robotic society created from those cast offs that have been left behind to carry out their tasks long after their masters have abandoned them.

Vanity is a good lead character even if I think that making her sixteen years old would have probably fit the storyline better. She does a little too many roof jumping and hacking things for me to buy her as a preteen. Still, it's nice to have a well-adjusted cyberpunk heroine and the fact that the only reason she doesn't swear up a storm is because of a literal profanity filter built into her brain. That was a clever way of acknowledging her "punkness" would never fly in a typical YA book.

The weird juxtaposition of fairy tale and Eighties cyberpunk is really the heart of this strange brew as you have a technologically created Old Mother Hubbard, elves, undead, and magic combined with all the trappings of Neuromancer as well as Snow Crash. Really, it's surprising it's not MORE like Shadowrun given how crazy it all is. I'll admit that it took a bit to fully immerse myself in the world but by the time I did, I absolutely loved it and declare this my favorite of his books. I recommend between text and audiobook that fans check out the Arielle Delisle narrated version as she does a fantastic job bringing the characters to life.
Profile Image for Courtney Cantrell.
Author 27 books19 followers
January 18, 2020
Every page of this book made my reader heart happy. Vanity Rose is an engaging, superawesome, beautifully snarky, heartrendingly vulnerable (on the inside) young woman with all the cyberpunk trials and tribulations one could ask for. Roberts crafts a world that is absolutely fascinating in its vivid, unusual detail. Cyborg capybaras, elf-people, and doctors made of chocolate. It doesn't get any better than that. Also, watch for the Roberts version of an ancient nemesis we all learned to hate back in the 1990s. I highly recommend this novel.
6 reviews
Read
May 22, 2022
You Can Be a Cyborg When You're Older is another fantastic book by Richard Roberts with a unique take on a futuristic setting. The book follows our 14-year-old orphan antiheroine Vanity Rose that is cursed with machine telepathy (a disability in this world). She fears that the orphanage that she lives at will shut down at any moment so like any sensible teenager she turns to a life of organized crime. This eventually leads to her confronting several different factions in her world like the dark elves, necromancers, and even the AI mascot of a big-time corporation.
Profile Image for Kosh Gott.
344 reviews11 followers
May 14, 2022
A cyberpunk tale focusing on adolescent characters. While the story's world is richly imagined, I think some of the disparate elements broke the fourth wall a bit too much without a sufficient payoff for having done so. The novel could have done with fewer chases and more plot. So, while I liked this novel, it was only good, not great.
56 reviews
Read
April 2, 2020
Excellent

It took a little bit for me to get into it, but once I was, it is one heck of a ride. Can't wait for the next instalment.
Profile Image for Casey Winters.
107 reviews10 followers
August 4, 2020
Nonsensical plot that can't decide if it's fantasy or cyberpunk, in a bad way.
Profile Image for Davis Emmanuel.
151 reviews3 followers
January 7, 2022
Serial escalation

It starts off reasonably small but it keeps getting bigger and bigger and never ever in the direction you expect.
32 reviews
November 19, 2022
Another Wonderful story

Richard Roberts does if once again, creating an improbable world and characters that I love. As for the heroine, remember just call her "Vanity".
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews

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