Bad Cop: New York's Least Likely Police Officer Tells All

by Paul Bacon

A funny and revealing memoir of one man's journey into and out of the New York City police department.

In 2001, Paul Bacon was a typical young New Y hip, liberal, overeducated, a little aimless. But then 9/11 happened. Hearing a call to duty―and lacking any better employment options―he joined the NYPD, with the earnest hope of making his hometown a safer place. Silly him.

In Bad Cop , Paul recounts his ill-conceived experiment in public service, focusing on his own professional his glass jaw, his overly trusting nature, and his fear of confrontation. The book begins with his police academy training, when he falls in love with the beautiful cadet Clarabel (and develops an unhealthy attraction to his sidearm). T he story follows him through an awkward apprenticeship and out onto the streets, where the touchy-feely Paul is transformed into the rough-and-tumble Officer Bacon. Through amazing accounts of his escapades on the Harlem beat, his memoir emerges as both a celebration and a send-up of the legendary force that protects New Y ork―most of the time.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Crime, Biography, Biography Memoir, Police, Humor

260 pages, Paperback

First published March 31, 2009

Reviews

[Marina Pavlichenko · Rating 4 out of 5]

"А ну-ка, посмотрим", думала я, приступая к чтению этой книги, потому что одно дело Кейт Беккетт и Касл, а совсем другое - живой настоящий человек. Особенно интересным был факт, что какое-то недолгое время в 2002 году, мы с автором были коллегами, только каждый в своей стране))

В общем, жил в Нью-Йорке обычный парень по имени Пол, работал себе удалённо из дома над различными веб-сайтами, пока его не уволили. Он нашел непыльную работу на Уолл-стрит, и всё бы ничего, но однажды солнечным осенним утром, он пришел в офис и буквально из своего окна увидел, как рушатся башни-близнецы. Следующие несколько дней Пол поневоле видел повсюду работу полицейских, пожарных и других служб, что привело его к мысли, что пора заканчивать сидеть на стуле и заниматься непонятно чем, нужно приносить пользу обществу. И он решил стать полицейским.

Всю первую главу я попискивала внутри себя от удовольствия, отмечая сходства (у нас прием на службу происходил примерно так же, а на сцене собеседования с психологом я ржала в голос). Обучение в академии, квоты на протоколы - всё очень похоже. А потом началась рутина (да еще и в Гарлеме), несколько переводов в разные подразделения патрульной службы, попытки делать всё по привычке хорошо и видеть, что особой пользы от этого нет. Ни конкретным людям, ни городу, никому и ничего, кроме ощущения безысходности и осознания, что можно делать это необходимые 20 лет, но вот нужно ли?

В общем, Пола хватило на три года (меня только на два) и он большой молодец, что не изменился и остался таким же добрым застенчивым парнем с чувством юмора. Книга, в общем-то, смешная, но только для тех, кто в теме. Кое-каких моментов никогда не покажут ни в одном сериале. Но за эпизод с толстым котиком по кличке Шреддер автору большое спасибо и респект)))

Я хочу процитировать кое-что из эпилога, потому что это просто будто взято из моей головы. Мне до сих пор странно, что в точности то же самое думал человек на другом континенте.
Breaking out of the police department was the best decision I’d ever made, curing everything that had ailed me: chronic fatigue, hypertension, intolerance, love handles, you name it. I miss the friends I made on the force, but I don’t miss the feeling that I was making enemies everywhere else. I was no good as a bad cop and not bad enough to be good cop. I’m lucky I made it out alive. And I’m glad I didn’t have to shoot anyone; I never once drew my gun.

[Liz · Rating 3 out of 5]

When I was in high school, someone recommended me to join a group of kids who were being mentored for possible careers in law enforcement. I have no idea why I seemed like a good match, and after the first meeting I bowed out. Now I can imagine, thanks to this author, what I would have been like if I had somehow ended up as a cop: scared, inept and unmotivated. His adventures as part of NYPD are entertaining to read, if maybe a little bit pathetic. Here's hoping most of our women and men in blue are better suited for the job than he was (or than I would have been).

[Amy Chan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Finished it in one go. A simple, hilarious, but insight book into the life of police point from a very unique perspective. It really show us that police are just human - some nicer, some more aggressive, some patient, some impulsive, some mature, some acts like high schoolar... In the end, they are regular people just doing their job and trying not to drive themselve crazy.

[Ahk · Rating 3 out of 5]

I first heard one of the anecdotes here as a Moth story - hilarious. As a book, this is moderately funny and easy to read, and interesting to learn how NYPD cops are trained and what they do on the day to day. I can't rate it any higher, because the messages about the low morale and attitude of the cops and dreariness of the system are too discouraging.

[Nastassja · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great read!!! I'm sad it's over :(
Very interesting true story about a guy who becomes a cop in NY after 9/11. Enjoyed it thoroughly, thought ending was a bit abrupt but I didn't mind. I highly recommend it :)

[Chris · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was different than what I expected based on the title. I thought the book was going to detail police shootings of unarmed black men though it did not have any stories about police firing their weapons at anyone.

The book is about Kevin Bacon, after 9/11, wants to give back to his country and community and decides to join the NYC Police Force.

Bacon details his time at the academy and the politics of policing and particularly the issue of quotas, or unspoken quotas, about summonses, collars (arrests), etc. which is somewhat disturbing from a Constitutional perspective. This, of course, made me think of all of the activities police officers do that are not Constitutional.

Bacon also details how police work is physically, mentally, and emotionally draining and he develops pneumonia while on the job and was counseled to not take any sick days unless he was in the hospital with an IV sticking out of his arm which was true in this case.

Bacon also introduces the reader to the "hairbags" of the Police Force and these are the officers that create collars or other things at the end of their shifts so that they can be paid overtime, how much is this costing the tax payer?

Eventually, after three years, Bacon comes to the realization that being a police officer is not the right career so he resigns and is not allowed to provide 2-weeks notice, once you resign as a NYPD officer you resign immediately (I wonder if this is the case for all police forces across the nation?) and then moves to Maui to become a Scuba Dive leader for tourists and Bacon already is a Dive Master which is detailed in the book.

I highly recommend this book, it humorous, and eye-opening.

[Carol Wrenn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wait! What's your name?
Paul.
Paul what? Cops go by last names, you know.
Bacon, I told her reluctantly.
Baker?
No, Bacon, like breakfast.
Like pig? Man, you're gonna get a lot of shit for that.

Long before I found instructions on how to unlock my handcuffs with their own key, I found out how to open them with a bobby pin, a lead pencil, a fingernail paring, a piece of belly button lint. (That didn't work.)
Finally I found that my handcuffs were the double locking variety. The key had to be turned 360 degrees in both directions. I quickly freed myself, with tremendous relief, since I had to report to the police academy the following day.

Are you locked out of your car?
Actually, I'm locked in my car. Pg 251-253

Three years later, I still wear a lot of heavy equipment to work. My job is dangerous, and I'm under extraordinary pressure. Every day I see grown men and women walking around in their underwear, drinking in public and neglecting their children. This all happens in Maui; but I'm not a cop anymore, I'm a scuba instructor.

[Jan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well, if there's one impression I came away with by the end of the book, it's that I concur with the author: he's the least likely person on the planet to become a police officer. I can't say that I'm thrilled with the current state of policing in the United States, but that doesn't mean that someone like Bacon--who was too afraid/softhearted to even hand out tickets half the time--is the answer.

I cringed a lot reading this book. But I also found it entertaining. It occasionally made me laugh, and I thought it held some interesting insights into the NYPD. I'm glad I picked it up.

[Mickey Bits · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny NYPD experience memoir. Bacon has a great voice which makes the book flow right from the beginning. NYPD memoir is a genre unto itself and this title deserves to stand in with the better ones. If you're familiar with these at all, you won't find too many deviations here. Recruit gets the idea to join up. Has a experience at the Academy, meets some characters. Starts job and realizes it's not like they taught at the Academy. Antics ensure. Cop gets jaded. Caper Caper.

I devoured this book instead of cooking dinner.

[JoAnne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I first heard Paul tell his story on The Moth radio hour and I had to read his book. I am very happy that this poor guy did survive his 3 yrs on the NYPD. I look at these officers a little differently now and what they have to put up with while trying to protect the citizens.
It is hard to believe new officers are put on the streets without someone to guide them. It seems to be baptism by fire.

A good read!

[Marc Gerstein · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very easy and pleasant to read. Bacon gives a great view of police work from the trenches. It’s not glamorous at all… no shooting or beTing up people, nothing like that. Seems like a lot of mind-numbing but overtime inducing paper work and waiting around, punctuated by memorable and sometimes hilarious incidents here and there.

[Xenia · Rating 3 out of 5]

War im Großen und Ganzen ein guter Thriller. Hatte jedoch 2-3 kurze Kapitel, die ich widerlich fand und die noch dazu absolut unnötig waren. Habe sie dann einfach übersprungen und werde daher das Buch niemandem (!) empfehlen!

[Suzanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

For me, it was an enjoyable dip into my previous life and was able to finish it in one evening...

[Ben Baker · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beyond fascinating look at the real life New York cop life not seen in procedurals on TV. Makes you appreciate the boys in blue just that little bit more. (NB: Not "The Boys In Blue", 1982.)

[Chris Bryson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious and fun to read. Well written account of a NYC police officer trying to give back after 9/11.

[Chuck · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't care if this is a "fictionalization" of the authors real-life experiences - too much. I enjoyed it.

[Jesse Flood · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book about a first hand account of a police officer, from his time in the police academy, to serving the public after to be a good read.

[Dáithí's · Rating 4 out of 5]

My partner saw this little ARC gem in a charity shop and asked my opinion of it knowing I once wore a badge and a gun and knew a bit about NYC and its finest. I ad never heard of the book, but a cop memoir by a lad named Bacon just had to have a few laughs in store. This was the best entertainment a dollar could buy (and it helped out a good cause as well).

Bacon's book is a funny, tongue in cheek look at his "career" as a NYPD officer following 9/11's tragic events. So many people wanted to step forward to assist after the event, and Bacon, a man with a quick wit and a solid heart signed up. NYPD is an amazing breed of LEO's. They have a language, culture, and technique as diverse as the city, and as a whole, are a decent bunch of lads who do their duty 200 percent. Like any other public service gig, there are those who essentially walk upright without too much drool that just play the game.

Bacon's honest assessment of NYPD life from the academy to the beat is non-flinching, direct, and damn honest. We see him evolve from a self-proclaimed liberal to a somewhat hardened beat cop during his short span as a cop. The portrayal of "cop life" is accurate and pulls no punches. He is his biggest critic, so this isn't some inflated ego making fun of a profession that he left at a point that could be considered too soon.

Quick read that holds your attention. I look forward to more from Bacon, as this little bit of serendipity was a nice introduction to an awesome writer.

[Josephus FromPlacitas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Candy-readable. (Meaning, it was so readable it went down like candy.) I finished it in three days and I'm such a victim of the Internet that I barely read anymore. Clearly he put a ton of work into making the writing really strong and straightforward. He has a real gift for humor.

But my James Frey detector did started ringing a little bit early on. The warning about composite characters had me wondering from the start. And the Clarabel Suarez character seemed a little too conveniently placed at the center of everything. Also the Moran character. Everything fit in a convenient arc, in a way that writerly plots are written rather than the way real life unfolds, particularly in massive bureaucracies with huge numbers of people. It reminded me a little too much of Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, which had a huge case of the Freys.

[Todd Huish · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm a sucker for a good memoir. I'm not as interested in biographies done by people about someone else but there's something very powerful about someone telling a story about themselves...if they can write. Paul Bacon can write pretty well but somehow his book left me a little flat. I heard him on The Moth and I really enjoyed the story he told about locking himself in the back of his own squad car. I had really hoped that the book would be a couple hundred pages of similar stories but it really wasn't. It was at times funny and poignant and depressing but somehow it never really grabbed me. He was just much better "in person" telling his story. I get the impression he had told similar stories many times and people constantly exhorted him that he should "write a book" so he did. He's really not a bad author and I didn't hate it by any means but I guess I was hoping for more.

[Catherine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Paul Bacon decided to become a cop in New York City when he lost his job in the aftermath of 9-11. He provides an inside look at going through the police academy, working in various departments and precincts, and experiencing burnout after just a few years. It’s fascinating and a little terrifying how laissez faire most operations are. I heard him on The Moth when he told about locking himself in the back of a police cruiser, and hoped his writing would be as entertaining as his storytelling. Mostly it was, although the section about his mnemonic devices for memorizing the police academy curriculum was tedious.

[Megan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well-written but ultimately underwhelming. I enjoyed Bacon's tales of his life on the job, but as is so often the case with this kind of memoir, his recounting of his personal life was less riveting and accounted for most of the dry spots in the book. It felt as though Bacon has already told these stories many times over and was phoning it in when it came to typing them up for the book. The "romance" is cringe-inducing, my least favorite part of the book.

[Kalle Wescott · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had low expectations from this book (which was one of the few English language books I found to buy on a recent European visit).

A book called Bad Cop written by a first time writer named Bacon? Cue the bad (cop) jokes.

But it's a well-written, amusing tale, an easy read, and even poignant at times.... highly enjoyable!

It was also interesting to learn how things work behind the scenes in the NY police force.

I hope Bacon writes more books.

[Tina · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a light read and very funny. If you know me you know I LOVE police stories... One of my neighbors bought this for me and I couldn't put it down because it made me laugh. I kept thinking oh my God I hope this is the minority of our police force not the majority otherwise we are in big trouble! I give him a high five for at least trying the profession, but so glad he got out.

[MentorPublicLibrary · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very entertaining. Bacon chose a profession for 3 years that didn't totally suit him. Descriptions of police situations are written in a funny way. Gives the reader an idea of what policing as a career is like. There's some suspense/romantic tension in the book as we wait and see if anything will come out of his crush on Clarabel, a sharp-tongued Dominican officer.

[R_ · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this one quickly -- because it's light reading and it's very entertaining. I have some quasi-law enforcement experience in a job where I worked closely with police officers. I think the author did a great job bringing out the humor in a situation where he was a round peg trying to fit in a square hole.

[Joe · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this book up because the author's story on The Moth was so funny. The remarkable take-away from the book is it made me more suspicious of police officers and more sympathetic at the same time.

[Abel Tavarez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very entertaining, well-written account of a nice guy cop in New York City. Anybody who's ever considered being a cop (or curious about what it's like) will enjoy the (mis)adventures of Officer Bacon.

[Emily · Rating 2 out of 5]

The most interesting part of this book was the boot camp and how police officers become police officers. I thought this would have been more of a book of hijinks and 'whoopsies' as opposed to someone who just didn't want to do parts of his job, no matter how much it stank.

[Damo]

For a relatively short career, this book highlights the humorous side of policing which will relate to everybody. Some people just aren't cut out for some jobs, and the author here has no issues with sharing his inept abilities with the world. very entertaining.