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My Beating Teenage Heart
Alternate cover version of 9781548692971
Ashlyn Baptiste is falling. One moment she was nothing—no memories, no self—and then suddenly, she's plummeting through a sea of stars. Is she in a coma? She doesn't remember dying, and she has no memories of the life she left behind. All she knows is that she's trapped in a consciousness without a body and she's spending every moment watching a stranger.
Breckon Cody's on the edge. He's being ripped apart by grief so intense it literally hurts to breathe. On the surface, Breckon is trying to hold it together for his family and his girlfriend, but underneath he's barely hanging on.
Even though she didn't know him in life, Ashlyn sees Breckon's pain, and she's determined to find a way help him. As her own distressing memories emerge from the darkness, she struggles to communicate with the boy who can't see her, but whose life is suddenly intertwined with hers. In alternating voices of the main characters, My Beating Teenage Heart paints a devastatingly vivid picture of both the heartbreak and the promise of teenage life—a life Ashlyn would do anything to recover and Breckon seems desperate to destroy—and will appeal to fans of Sarah Dessen, John Green, and David Levithan.
Ashlyn Baptiste is falling. One moment she was nothing—no memories, no self—and then suddenly, she's plummeting through a sea of stars. Is she in a coma? She doesn't remember dying, and she has no memories of the life she left behind. All she knows is that she's trapped in a consciousness without a body and she's spending every moment watching a stranger.
Breckon Cody's on the edge. He's being ripped apart by grief so intense it literally hurts to breathe. On the surface, Breckon is trying to hold it together for his family and his girlfriend, but underneath he's barely hanging on.
Even though she didn't know him in life, Ashlyn sees Breckon's pain, and she's determined to find a way help him. As her own distressing memories emerge from the darkness, she struggles to communicate with the boy who can't see her, but whose life is suddenly intertwined with hers. In alternating voices of the main characters, My Beating Teenage Heart paints a devastatingly vivid picture of both the heartbreak and the promise of teenage life—a life Ashlyn would do anything to recover and Breckon seems desperate to destroy—and will appeal to fans of Sarah Dessen, John Green, and David Levithan.
Paperback
First published January 1, 2011
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About the author
C.K. Kelly Martin
17 books326 followersLong before I was an author I was a fan of books about Winnie the Pooh, Babar, Madeline, Anne Shirley and anything by Judy Blume. Throughout high school my favourite class was English. No surprise, then, that most of my time spent at York University in Toronto was as an English major—not the traditional way to graduate with a B.A. (Hons) in film studies but a fine way to get a general arts education.
After getting my film studies degree I headed for Dublin, Ireland and spent the majority of the nineties there in forgettable jobs meeting unforgettable people and enjoying the buzz. I always believed I'd get around to writing in earnest eventually, and I began writing my first novel in a flat in Dublin and finished it in a Toronto suburb. By then I'd discovered that fiction about young people felt the freshest and most exciting to me. You have most of your life to be an adult but you only grow up once.
Currently residing near Toronto with my Dub husband, I'm an aunt to twenty-one nieces and nephews, and a great-aunt to five great-nieces and two great-nephews. I became an Irish citizen in 2001 and continue to visit Dublin as often as I can while working on novels about young people.
My first young adult book, I Know It's Over, came out with Random House in September 2008, and was followed by One Lonely Degree, The Lighter Side of Life and Death, My Beating Teenage Heart and sci-fi thriller Yesterday. I released Yesterday's sequel, Tomorrow, in 2013 and put out my first adult novel, Come See About Me, as an ebook in June 2012. Two of my contemporary YA books, The Sweetest Thing You Can Sing and Delicate, were published by Cormorant Books' Dancing Cat Books imprint in 2014 and 2015. They also published my middle grade sci-fi, Stricken.
My 2017 young adult novel, Just Like You Said It Would Be, is the book of my heart. Packed with movies references and giddy love for Dublin, Ireland, Just Like You Said It Would Be is a frank exploration of first love, full of confusion, elation, disappointment and its knack of making the ordinary seem amazing.
In 2019 I made my horror debut with DCB under the name Cara Martin. Booklist described Shantallow as "serious, literary and very scary" and Kirkus called it "gut-wrenching on various levels." It was an Ottawa Book Awards finalist and was longlisted for the Sunburst Award.
After getting my film studies degree I headed for Dublin, Ireland and spent the majority of the nineties there in forgettable jobs meeting unforgettable people and enjoying the buzz. I always believed I'd get around to writing in earnest eventually, and I began writing my first novel in a flat in Dublin and finished it in a Toronto suburb. By then I'd discovered that fiction about young people felt the freshest and most exciting to me. You have most of your life to be an adult but you only grow up once.
Currently residing near Toronto with my Dub husband, I'm an aunt to twenty-one nieces and nephews, and a great-aunt to five great-nieces and two great-nephews. I became an Irish citizen in 2001 and continue to visit Dublin as often as I can while working on novels about young people.
My first young adult book, I Know It's Over, came out with Random House in September 2008, and was followed by One Lonely Degree, The Lighter Side of Life and Death, My Beating Teenage Heart and sci-fi thriller Yesterday. I released Yesterday's sequel, Tomorrow, in 2013 and put out my first adult novel, Come See About Me, as an ebook in June 2012. Two of my contemporary YA books, The Sweetest Thing You Can Sing and Delicate, were published by Cormorant Books' Dancing Cat Books imprint in 2014 and 2015. They also published my middle grade sci-fi, Stricken.
My 2017 young adult novel, Just Like You Said It Would Be, is the book of my heart. Packed with movies references and giddy love for Dublin, Ireland, Just Like You Said It Would Be is a frank exploration of first love, full of confusion, elation, disappointment and its knack of making the ordinary seem amazing.
In 2019 I made my horror debut with DCB under the name Cara Martin. Booklist described Shantallow as "serious, literary and very scary" and Kirkus called it "gut-wrenching on various levels." It was an Ottawa Book Awards finalist and was longlisted for the Sunburst Award.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 142 reviews
March 24, 2012
I’ve become picky with my contemporaries, in those I choose to read and in how I rate them. Contemporary fiction is my favourite of the wide variety of genres I read, and so you can imagine how dearly I hold the best of stories and how passionate I am about what goes on in these underrated books. Where I’m a tough sell for books in most genres, selling a book to me – both literately and figuratively – is even more daunting a task; “issue books” and “fluff” alike are two types of stories that need to be handled delicately, and while most authors can’t fit the bill with me, C.K. Kelly Martin is one who is always sure to deliver with a boundary-pushing plot, a great, diverse cast, and beautiful writing.
From page one, all I could think was “wow, this is excellent.” Where I’ve never really connected with any of Martin’s books – and I’ve read them all – I can happily say that I was emotionally blindsided by this book. Every single time I set the book down, I wanted more of it. Every chapter had a phrase I wanted to lock up to look at later on, something that struck a chord with me. Told through the dual perspectives of Ashlyn and Breckon, one corporal being and the other not, My Beating Teenage Heart expertly leads readers through the whirlwind that is depression, grief, loss and love. I was a little nervous about the double perspectives of this book, as I typically abhor that type of narrative, but Martin wrote the two voices in a way that distinguishes them both and leaves the other character reflected in a different light. (You’re probably wondering what I’m getting at, but the best way for you to understand is by reading the book yourself.)
While I loved Ashyln’s spunk, loving quality and voice, Breckon is now one of my favourite protagonists in the contemps. The damn boy tore out my heart, ate it, and handed it back to me. I told myself a hundred times not to cry for him – because I knew that once I started I wouldn’t be able to stop – but I ended up sobbing for him, sobbing hard.
Breckon is an intense guy, and for that I loved him, felt for him and wanted to help him desperately. I freaking felt for the guy, this totally fictional, broken guy. I love the way, also, that his relationship with his girlfriend Jules was written; it’s one of the most realistic relationships I’ve read in a long time, realistic relationships being a specialty of Martin’s, I’ve noticed. Another specialty of Martin’s is writing a cast with diverse ethnicities and cultures; while there wasn’t as large a group as in Martin’s previous books, I extremely appreciated that Martin wrote Ashlyn as part African-Canadian, part Scottish, and that she didn’t brush away from either sides of her cultures.
My Beating Teenage Heart has 58 reviews on Goodreads, and honestly, this seriously depresses me. How did we let this happen? How did we manage to push wonderful books and promising authors under the “greats” of the New York Times Top Ten? If I could hand any book to anybody in the world right now, it would be this one, because amongst the 275 pages of this book lies a story that won’t be forgotten.
(On a final note, I thought of Ironic by Alanis Morissette in the middle of reading, because the song fits the book perfectly. The dark tones of the song, and the lyrics itself, seem to match perfectly with what goes on with Breckon and Ashlyn.)
From page one, all I could think was “wow, this is excellent.” Where I’ve never really connected with any of Martin’s books – and I’ve read them all – I can happily say that I was emotionally blindsided by this book. Every single time I set the book down, I wanted more of it. Every chapter had a phrase I wanted to lock up to look at later on, something that struck a chord with me. Told through the dual perspectives of Ashlyn and Breckon, one corporal being and the other not, My Beating Teenage Heart expertly leads readers through the whirlwind that is depression, grief, loss and love. I was a little nervous about the double perspectives of this book, as I typically abhor that type of narrative, but Martin wrote the two voices in a way that distinguishes them both and leaves the other character reflected in a different light. (You’re probably wondering what I’m getting at, but the best way for you to understand is by reading the book yourself.)
While I loved Ashyln’s spunk, loving quality and voice, Breckon is now one of my favourite protagonists in the contemps. The damn boy tore out my heart, ate it, and handed it back to me. I told myself a hundred times not to cry for him – because I knew that once I started I wouldn’t be able to stop – but I ended up sobbing for him, sobbing hard.
“While I don’t want to talk to people much lately, their presence is a safety net. I know there’s no danger that I’ll do anything bad to myself when anyone else is around.
Not that I would anyway but...I mean, I won’t. I know I won’t, but it can’t hurt to have that extra safety mechanism.
So I go to school and stay there, even though everyone around me and everything they say and do feels pointless and/or stupid, like it doesn’t matter whether they say/do it or not. Whatever whatever WHATEVER whatever whatever WHATEVER. It’s not their fault that they don’t matter but that’s what it feels like: Whatever whatever WHATEVER whatever whatever WHATEVER whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever” page 137-138, Breckon’s POV.
Breckon is an intense guy, and for that I loved him, felt for him and wanted to help him desperately. I freaking felt for the guy, this totally fictional, broken guy. I love the way, also, that his relationship with his girlfriend Jules was written; it’s one of the most realistic relationships I’ve read in a long time, realistic relationships being a specialty of Martin’s, I’ve noticed. Another specialty of Martin’s is writing a cast with diverse ethnicities and cultures; while there wasn’t as large a group as in Martin’s previous books, I extremely appreciated that Martin wrote Ashlyn as part African-Canadian, part Scottish, and that she didn’t brush away from either sides of her cultures.
My Beating Teenage Heart has 58 reviews on Goodreads, and honestly, this seriously depresses me. How did we let this happen? How did we manage to push wonderful books and promising authors under the “greats” of the New York Times Top Ten? If I could hand any book to anybody in the world right now, it would be this one, because amongst the 275 pages of this book lies a story that won’t be forgotten.
(On a final note, I thought of Ironic by Alanis Morissette in the middle of reading, because the song fits the book perfectly. The dark tones of the song, and the lyrics itself, seem to match perfectly with what goes on with Breckon and Ashlyn.)
June 24, 2018
MY OPINION: ***
I had a hard time deciding what to rate this book and how to sort my feelings through to find the things I liked and the things I didn't. I think that I ultimately found a neutral rating that conveyed my feelings of the book: it wasn't extraordinary but it also wasn't horrible.
Let me start off by saying that this book was depressing in the highest form. There was literally nothing happy about this book. It was also very serious and it had a lot more in it than I thought it would.
Ashlyn was a spirit or a ghost or something that was "assigned" to watch over this boy Breckon who also has a depressing life. Ashlyn died and now she's stuck in this "void" or something and is forced to oversee this boy. As the book progresses, she gets some of the memories of her own life back and wow, are they deep.
We learn that she was almost sixteen. She was close friends with her cousin Callum and she learned through him that people change. At eight, a random boy named Dylan molested her and this ends up becoming a big thing later on in the story. There were just a lot of things that happened in her life that contributed to her history but didn't have too much to do with the actual story.
The boy she's watching over is named Breckon and we learn that he is totally consumed by grief and guilt and he's so deep into this horrible place that he even ends up hurting himself. His little sister died in an accident and Breckon blames himself.
This book was written in a way that at some points was almost slow. I think that there was an overload of paragraphs full of rambling words that I sometimes couldn't get through. The writing itself was very pretty and illustrious and I liked it but at some points, it was just too much.
I can't say that I loved it to no end but it did make me feel some emotion and was fairly sad. I would recommend this book to readers looking for a more serious book.
Main Character: Ashlyn, Breckon
Sidekick(s): Skylar, Jules, Ty, etc
Villain(s): Death, guilt, accidents, grief, etc
Fiction Elements: This book was all fictional.
I had a hard time deciding what to rate this book and how to sort my feelings through to find the things I liked and the things I didn't. I think that I ultimately found a neutral rating that conveyed my feelings of the book: it wasn't extraordinary but it also wasn't horrible.
Let me start off by saying that this book was depressing in the highest form. There was literally nothing happy about this book. It was also very serious and it had a lot more in it than I thought it would.
Ashlyn was a spirit or a ghost or something that was "assigned" to watch over this boy Breckon who also has a depressing life. Ashlyn died and now she's stuck in this "void" or something and is forced to oversee this boy. As the book progresses, she gets some of the memories of her own life back and wow, are they deep.
We learn that she was almost sixteen. She was close friends with her cousin Callum and she learned through him that people change. At eight, a random boy named Dylan molested her and this ends up becoming a big thing later on in the story. There were just a lot of things that happened in her life that contributed to her history but didn't have too much to do with the actual story.
The boy she's watching over is named Breckon and we learn that he is totally consumed by grief and guilt and he's so deep into this horrible place that he even ends up hurting himself. His little sister died in an accident and Breckon blames himself.
This book was written in a way that at some points was almost slow. I think that there was an overload of paragraphs full of rambling words that I sometimes couldn't get through. The writing itself was very pretty and illustrious and I liked it but at some points, it was just too much.
I can't say that I loved it to no end but it did make me feel some emotion and was fairly sad. I would recommend this book to readers looking for a more serious book.
Main Character: Ashlyn, Breckon
Sidekick(s): Skylar, Jules, Ty, etc
Villain(s): Death, guilt, accidents, grief, etc
Fiction Elements: This book was all fictional.
June 19, 2012
Welp.
October 25, 2016
Wow this was sad
February 19, 2012
This was a super tough read. Super. Tough. Yet, it was also incredibly good--particularly the last 20%. I think I'm having a hard time forming my thoughts around this one because it's not really what I expected from CK Kelly Martin. Hmmmmmm...
C.K. Kelly Martin is one of my favorite "sleeper" young adult authors. It boggles my mind that her work is not more widely known. The Lighter Side of Life and Death is an outstanding example of authentic, engaging teen male point of view, while One Lonely Degree is a heart-wrenching story of friendship. (I haven't read I Know It's Over, as it deals with teen pregnancy and I usually avoid that theme, but many folks have told me it's excellent as well.)
My Beating Teenage Heart was unexpected for me. The description was vague, so I was unsure what I was getting myself into, but it was a departure from the other Martin books I've read. Her previous novels spend quite a bit of time in the characters' heads, but they're also characterized by smart, compelling dialog. My Beating Teenage Heart, however, exists almost exclusively in the minds of the characters, and there's very little dialog at all. Told in alternating first-person point of views, both of the narrators are unreliable. Breckon is a grief-stricked teen boy suffering from overwhelming feelings of responsibility for his younger sister's recent death. Ashlyn, on the other hand, is dead.
Yep. One of the narrators in this solidly contemporary novel is a ghost.
Ashlyn is recently dead and she finds herself inexplicibly spending her afterlife observing Breckon and his downward spiral. Breckon, meanwhile, is navigating friends, family, school and his relationship with his girlfriend, Jules. Their stories unfold, with Ashlyn slowly remembering her story and Breckon determining how, and if, his life can move forward. There's not a lot that can be said regarding the plot without being ridiculously spoilerly, but eventually we do learn why the two are connected.
When looking through my Kindle, I noticed that all of my highlights were in chapters from Ashlyn's point of view. I found myself connecting more with Ashlyn and her story than I did Breckon. So much about her tale made me just ache for her, for the things she'll never experience and for the things she'd change if given the chance.
Goodreads tells me that it took me 19 days to read this book--19 days to read 288 pages! That's a night of reading for me oftentimes. This one is heavy. And intense. While they're very different novels in both style and plot, my experience reading My Beating Teenage Heart reminded me of my experience reading Gayle Forman's If I Stay. I struggled with both so much--the level of grief, loss and sadness in both is absolutely off the charts. And while both contain threads of hope throughout, that intensity is hard for me emotionally as a reader.
A few quotations that stuck with me...
Ashlyn, early in the novel, upon discovering her condition:
Ashlyn, reflecting upon the things that she'll miss:
Ashlyn, while watching Breckon:
The final 20 percent of the novel is absolutely breathtaking. If the first 80 percent had been at that level this would've been on my "must read" list. With that said, it's still recommended, but know that it's a tough journey. If you've never read C.K. Kelley Martin before, I'd start with one of her other novels before tackling My Beating Teenage Heart.
Oooh... I didn't realize CK Kelly Martin had a new book coming out this month. Love, love, love her stuff.
C.K. Kelly Martin is one of my favorite "sleeper" young adult authors. It boggles my mind that her work is not more widely known. The Lighter Side of Life and Death is an outstanding example of authentic, engaging teen male point of view, while One Lonely Degree is a heart-wrenching story of friendship. (I haven't read I Know It's Over, as it deals with teen pregnancy and I usually avoid that theme, but many folks have told me it's excellent as well.)
My Beating Teenage Heart was unexpected for me. The description was vague, so I was unsure what I was getting myself into, but it was a departure from the other Martin books I've read. Her previous novels spend quite a bit of time in the characters' heads, but they're also characterized by smart, compelling dialog. My Beating Teenage Heart, however, exists almost exclusively in the minds of the characters, and there's very little dialog at all. Told in alternating first-person point of views, both of the narrators are unreliable. Breckon is a grief-stricked teen boy suffering from overwhelming feelings of responsibility for his younger sister's recent death. Ashlyn, on the other hand, is dead.
Yep. One of the narrators in this solidly contemporary novel is a ghost.
Ashlyn is recently dead and she finds herself inexplicibly spending her afterlife observing Breckon and his downward spiral. Breckon, meanwhile, is navigating friends, family, school and his relationship with his girlfriend, Jules. Their stories unfold, with Ashlyn slowly remembering her story and Breckon determining how, and if, his life can move forward. There's not a lot that can be said regarding the plot without being ridiculously spoilerly, but eventually we do learn why the two are connected.
When looking through my Kindle, I noticed that all of my highlights were in chapters from Ashlyn's point of view. I found myself connecting more with Ashlyn and her story than I did Breckon. So much about her tale made me just ache for her, for the things she'll never experience and for the things she'd change if given the chance.
Goodreads tells me that it took me 19 days to read this book--19 days to read 288 pages! That's a night of reading for me oftentimes. This one is heavy. And intense. While they're very different novels in both style and plot, my experience reading My Beating Teenage Heart reminded me of my experience reading Gayle Forman's If I Stay. I struggled with both so much--the level of grief, loss and sadness in both is absolutely off the charts. And while both contain threads of hope throughout, that intensity is hard for me emotionally as a reader.
A few quotations that stuck with me...
Ashlyn, early in the novel, upon discovering her condition:
If I'm talking to myself, there much be a me. That in itself is a revelation. I exist.
Ashlyn, reflecting upon the things that she'll miss:
I wonder, did I ever, in the last year or so of my life that I've yet to remember, get wrecked like this with my friends?
I can't really understand why anyone would want to. Dancing, eating, playing video games and making out with someone you're into all seem like things that are just as much fun when you're sober, and as far as I can see being drunk only makes you loud and/or dumb.
Ashlyn, while watching Breckon:
There's a kind of peace in the stillness of the moment that I wonder if Breckon feels.
That's all I do with him, watch and wonder. If I was still alive and knew him, would I be able to do more
The final 20 percent of the novel is absolutely breathtaking. If the first 80 percent had been at that level this would've been on my "must read" list. With that said, it's still recommended, but know that it's a tough journey. If you've never read C.K. Kelley Martin before, I'd start with one of her other novels before tackling My Beating Teenage Heart.
April 21, 2013
I wanted to start off my review with ''
READ IT
'' but I don't want to look desperate and I gotta give myself a chance since I barely finished the book five minutes ago.
My Beating Teenage Heart is the first book to get me to tears. Most importantly it contained elements I always wanted a book to have which sort of freaked me out in a good way. Stars for example. One of the protagonists lives among them and I always wanted to read something like that. C.K Kelly Martin's handwriting was so beautiful and lyrical and even though the book does feel a little long in certain parts, I still couldn't stop being absorbed by it.
This one is categorized in (YA) Young Adult, but as an adult reader myself, I can definitely see this book enjoyed by any other adults as well. It left me so marveled and satisfied that I wish I had a thousand copies to hand out.
If you somehow have doubts about reading this because of the different ratings, I think it's worth it!
My Beating Teenage Heart is the first book to get me to tears. Most importantly it contained elements I always wanted a book to have which sort of freaked me out in a good way. Stars for example. One of the protagonists lives among them and I always wanted to read something like that. C.K Kelly Martin's handwriting was so beautiful and lyrical and even though the book does feel a little long in certain parts, I still couldn't stop being absorbed by it.
This one is categorized in (YA) Young Adult, but as an adult reader myself, I can definitely see this book enjoyed by any other adults as well. It left me so marveled and satisfied that I wish I had a thousand copies to hand out.
If you somehow have doubts about reading this because of the different ratings, I think it's worth it!
August 31, 2011
This is the kind of book you just have to believe in. Martin asks you to trust, and you have to, even though you think it feels like other things you've read. You think you know where it's going, but you don't. It's packed emotionally, and both Breckon and Ashlyn both have incredible voices.
NOT a contemporary novel by definition, but it will appeal to contemporary fans since it's close enough.
And that last chapter? It's a total tear fest.
One you need to put down and just breathe through. Wow.
Full review here: http://www.stackedbooks.org/2011/08/m...
NOT a contemporary novel by definition, but it will appeal to contemporary fans since it's close enough.
And that last chapter? It's a total tear fest.
One you need to put down and just breathe through. Wow.
Full review here: http://www.stackedbooks.org/2011/08/m...
August 22, 2017
It was a really well written book, but some parts were really inappropriate. It was interesting to see both sides of the story and their grief. It showed the some of the different battles we face in life. Really interesting but mature.
June 18, 2020
My Beating Teenage Heart tells small-time stories in a big, unique way.
Told through the perspectives of a possibly-dead almost 16 year old slowly regaining her memory and the teenaged boy her spirit seems to have become attached too, My Beating Teenage Heart tackles love, death, grief, and what it means to lose someone.
The stories of grief are familiar enough to break your heart, but the unique narrative structure makes it unlike anything you've ever read before. This book is SAD. Very sad. If you want to be sad, give it a read.
TW: Self harm, molestation, death of a child
Told through the perspectives of a possibly-dead almost 16 year old slowly regaining her memory and the teenaged boy her spirit seems to have become attached too, My Beating Teenage Heart tackles love, death, grief, and what it means to lose someone.
The stories of grief are familiar enough to break your heart, but the unique narrative structure makes it unlike anything you've ever read before. This book is SAD. Very sad. If you want to be sad, give it a read.
TW: Self harm, molestation, death of a child
January 2, 2015
I had tears at the end of this book... they were a mix of tears of happiness and tears of sadness for sure.
This story is told from two different perspectives alternating about every other chapter. We're immediately introduced to Ashlyn. Though, she doesn't really know who she is at the moment, we do know that she is some sort of spirit form.
"The first moment is utter darkness. The absence of thought, the absence of everything. An absence that stretches infinitely backwards and threatens to smother your sanity - if tehre was a yout, that is. But there's not. I am ntohing and no one. I never was. I must not have been because otherwise, wouldn't I remember?"
We as the reader know as much about Ashlyn as she herself knows, and as she remembers more and more of her life, we learn who she was, what her life was before the here and now. She's thrust into a world where she has no human body, but she is somehow and someway connected to our other main character Breckon.
Breckon is struggling with the loss of his younger sister and blames himself, but again, we don't know the whole story, bits and pieces are revealed along the way as we watch him struggle with the weight of blaming himself and everything else that goes along with being a 16 year old boy and his struggle not to give up. Life, something Ashlyn so desperately wishes she still had and Breckon is ready to throw away.
What intrigued me most about this story was the way the bits and pieces fell into place, the way that even though Ashlyn didn't know this boy she was desperate to save him and help him, and as I read along in the story, found that that was just how she was in life too. We learn of her struggles growing up the memories she reveals and then finally as a 15 year old girl and putting the pieces together of her death and again... how Breckon and Ashlyn were actually connected in life.
As the basest level this story is about depression and suicide and how people cope with loss and pain, but it was so much more than that. The impact someone can have on our life and death and The last chapter is what had me in tears, I won't lie and I won't say why, but they were happy tears that's for sure. You must read this book to find out.
This story is told from two different perspectives alternating about every other chapter. We're immediately introduced to Ashlyn. Though, she doesn't really know who she is at the moment, we do know that she is some sort of spirit form.
"The first moment is utter darkness. The absence of thought, the absence of everything. An absence that stretches infinitely backwards and threatens to smother your sanity - if tehre was a yout, that is. But there's not. I am ntohing and no one. I never was. I must not have been because otherwise, wouldn't I remember?"
We as the reader know as much about Ashlyn as she herself knows, and as she remembers more and more of her life, we learn who she was, what her life was before the here and now. She's thrust into a world where she has no human body, but she is somehow and someway connected to our other main character Breckon.
Breckon is struggling with the loss of his younger sister and blames himself, but again, we don't know the whole story, bits and pieces are revealed along the way as we watch him struggle with the weight of blaming himself and everything else that goes along with being a 16 year old boy and his struggle not to give up. Life, something Ashlyn so desperately wishes she still had and Breckon is ready to throw away.
What intrigued me most about this story was the way the bits and pieces fell into place, the way that even though Ashlyn didn't know this boy she was desperate to save him and help him, and as I read along in the story, found that that was just how she was in life too. We learn of her struggles growing up the memories she reveals and then finally as a 15 year old girl and putting the pieces together of her death and again... how Breckon and Ashlyn were actually connected in life.
As the basest level this story is about depression and suicide and how people cope with loss and pain, but it was so much more than that. The impact someone can have on our life and death and The last chapter is what had me in tears, I won't lie and I won't say why, but they were happy tears that's for sure. You must read this book to find out.
December 11, 2012
If I were to describe the atmosphere, tone and mood of this book in one colour, it would be gray. With plenty of time spent in introspection, flashbacks and ponderings in general, this books is nowhere near suffused with colour. That doesn’t make it bad; in fact, one could say the navel-gazing is necessary, as it provides the only counterbalance against the waves of negativity Breckon seems to produce automatically with his actions.
Ah, Breckon. It’s not hard to see where he’s coming from, as guilt is one of the most common emotions experienced after a tragedy of any sort. His decisions are therefore made slightly more palatable, but only to the extent that the reader will tolerate him, never truly rooting for him as a hero. Ashlyn is a much lovelier gal to hang out with as she tries to navigate Breckon onto better roads. However, her chronicle is almost more depressing than his. The injustice of her death keeps the story from being fully satisfying, leaving a saddened, helpless feeling behind.
The mechanics of Ashlyn’s caught-between-life-and-death floatation powers aren’t fully explained, something to be expected from this novel classified as contemporary. However, while we might be willing to accept Ashlyn’s existence, another character’s floatational (okay, that’s not a word) entry is just plain boggling. Not to mention it makes the ending that much cheesier. But My Beating Teenage Heart is pretty enough in its soul-searching and meditation aspects to warrant a read. With its shorter length, it won’t be a waste of time.
The cover:
The font—oh, I dig it. The red is a lovely contrast against the image’s neutral grayness, and of course the hand-formed heart is a picturesque representation of the title and book. However, it would’ve been nice if the body were a little more distinct. Otherwise, it looks like a smog of nothingness with arms coming from nowhere.
*Review originally published on Pass the Chiclets.
Ah, Breckon. It’s not hard to see where he’s coming from, as guilt is one of the most common emotions experienced after a tragedy of any sort. His decisions are therefore made slightly more palatable, but only to the extent that the reader will tolerate him, never truly rooting for him as a hero. Ashlyn is a much lovelier gal to hang out with as she tries to navigate Breckon onto better roads. However, her chronicle is almost more depressing than his. The injustice of her death keeps the story from being fully satisfying, leaving a saddened, helpless feeling behind.
The mechanics of Ashlyn’s caught-between-life-and-death floatation powers aren’t fully explained, something to be expected from this novel classified as contemporary. However, while we might be willing to accept Ashlyn’s existence, another character’s floatational (okay, that’s not a word) entry is just plain boggling. Not to mention it makes the ending that much cheesier. But My Beating Teenage Heart is pretty enough in its soul-searching and meditation aspects to warrant a read. With its shorter length, it won’t be a waste of time.
The cover:
The font—oh, I dig it. The red is a lovely contrast against the image’s neutral grayness, and of course the hand-formed heart is a picturesque representation of the title and book. However, it would’ve been nice if the body were a little more distinct. Otherwise, it looks like a smog of nothingness with arms coming from nowhere.
*Review originally published on Pass the Chiclets.
February 22, 2012
I’ve read a few novels dealing with the themes of grief and loss, but C.K. Kelly Martin’s My Beating Teenage Heart stands out for its lovely prose and way of getting the reader engaged into the story.
The book opens with a nameless being who simply exists among the stars before she's sucked back to the world of the living. Who is she? What has happened to her? Those answers will be revealed in time since Ashlyn is just as lost in the dark as the reader. Not a ghost but more like a consciousness, she’s also unable to help Breckon, the boy she has become connected to somehow.
Breckon’s past is perhaps only slightly less mysterious than Ashlyn’s. His alternating point of view informs the reader that he blames himself for his sister’s death – how she dies is unknown at first – and shows that he’s clearly in deep pain and suffering. Martin does a great job of contrasting Breckon with Ashlyn – one would do anything to live again and the other couldn’t care less.
Much like Ashlyn, the reader can only be a helpless bystander as Breckon rejects the emotional support offered by those close to him (even as they try to come to terms with Skylar’s death) and attempts to forget about reality through a variety of means. However, this in a way also distances Breckon from the reader who may have never experienced such a tragic loss.
Although the ending was a little disappointing because it was kind of neat and the connection between Breckon and Ashlyn wasn’t as significant as I thought it would be; I liked where Martin chose to end My Beating Teenage Heart. It seems like a logical point at which to conclude Breckon’s and Ashlyn’s story lines, but still leaves the reader with hope that the main characters will be okay.
The book opens with a nameless being who simply exists among the stars before she's sucked back to the world of the living. Who is she? What has happened to her? Those answers will be revealed in time since Ashlyn is just as lost in the dark as the reader. Not a ghost but more like a consciousness, she’s also unable to help Breckon, the boy she has become connected to somehow.
Breckon’s past is perhaps only slightly less mysterious than Ashlyn’s. His alternating point of view informs the reader that he blames himself for his sister’s death – how she dies is unknown at first – and shows that he’s clearly in deep pain and suffering. Martin does a great job of contrasting Breckon with Ashlyn – one would do anything to live again and the other couldn’t care less.
Much like Ashlyn, the reader can only be a helpless bystander as Breckon rejects the emotional support offered by those close to him (even as they try to come to terms with Skylar’s death) and attempts to forget about reality through a variety of means. However, this in a way also distances Breckon from the reader who may have never experienced such a tragic loss.
Although the ending was a little disappointing because it was kind of neat and the connection between Breckon and Ashlyn wasn’t as significant as I thought it would be; I liked where Martin chose to end My Beating Teenage Heart. It seems like a logical point at which to conclude Breckon’s and Ashlyn’s story lines, but still leaves the reader with hope that the main characters will be okay.
January 28, 2012
Initially, I wasn't very impressed with My Beating Teenage Heart. I didn't really care for the story or like the characters. What kept me reading was the emotion the author so successfully conveyed. I had tears in my eyes while reading.
The story is about death and grief. Breckon lost his sister and is struggling. Ashlyn is in this weird in between state where she's watching Breckon and trying to learn more about who she is. Both characters go through a lot, but Breckon's story had me far more upset. I think it was because his was actually happening while all Ashlyn had was memories. The way the characters dealt with grief was raw.
Nothing about this book felt cliché. This book is so different from other books. It feels like a contemporary novel, but there is a paranormal ghost/afterlife element. Ashlyn and Breckon don't fall in love. Ashlyn's identity isn't what you suspect. Breckon has real friends. It was so different in that way.
I couldn't deal with emotionally investing myself too much in this book. I was reading in public so a lot of the time I couldn't continue. The plot isn't exactly fast-paced but stuff does happen. It isn't in my taste but it made me cry. I feel full of contradictions when I think about this book. It's really weird, but I think I enjoy it. You don't have to like every story you read. Sometimes you can say "This was a good story to read" without liking the story. The darkness in the story, as well as the hope makes me happy I read it.
Overall, I recommend My Beating Teenage Heart for those who enjoy emotional stories that promise hope. It's a hard story to read, but rewarding. 3.5 stars,
*** & 1/2 *
The story is about death and grief. Breckon lost his sister and is struggling. Ashlyn is in this weird in between state where she's watching Breckon and trying to learn more about who she is. Both characters go through a lot, but Breckon's story had me far more upset. I think it was because his was actually happening while all Ashlyn had was memories. The way the characters dealt with grief was raw.
Nothing about this book felt cliché. This book is so different from other books. It feels like a contemporary novel, but there is a paranormal ghost/afterlife element. Ashlyn and Breckon don't fall in love. Ashlyn's identity isn't what you suspect. Breckon has real friends. It was so different in that way.
I couldn't deal with emotionally investing myself too much in this book. I was reading in public so a lot of the time I couldn't continue. The plot isn't exactly fast-paced but stuff does happen. It isn't in my taste but it made me cry. I feel full of contradictions when I think about this book. It's really weird, but I think I enjoy it. You don't have to like every story you read. Sometimes you can say "This was a good story to read" without liking the story. The darkness in the story, as well as the hope makes me happy I read it.
Overall, I recommend My Beating Teenage Heart for those who enjoy emotional stories that promise hope. It's a hard story to read, but rewarding. 3.5 stars,
*** & 1/2 *
October 24, 2012
As other reviewers have noted, this is a sad book on many levels. The unremitting grief and guilt experienced by Breckon permeates every page. As the story of what happened to his sister Skylar (and Breckon's role in her death) unfolds, Breckon's emotional state becomes more and more precarious. As a mother, I was horrified by the tragedy that has befallen this family; this was truly a preventable accidental death that is doubly horrifying when the reader realizes how easily it could (and probably does) happen to a child.
Ashlyn's role as the second narrator in this story is to communicate some of what she senses and observes from Breckon, helping the reader piece his story together. She also is searching desperately for answers to her own fate: how and why she died and how her own family is coping with her loss. The two stories intertwine, and the resolution of how Ashlyn came to be linked so tightly to Breckon after her death is unexpected and powerful.
Though it is unquestionably a sad novel and a sad topic, it is perversely uplifting as Breckon learns just how strong his relationships with his parents, girlfriend and best friend really are. He tested and damaged each of those relationships during the course of this novel, and yet, when he hits rock bottom, he learns that love conquers all. He learns how to face grief, and even though he cannot be said to be coping with his grief and guilt by the end of the novel, he has certainly started down that path.
Ashlyn's role as the second narrator in this story is to communicate some of what she senses and observes from Breckon, helping the reader piece his story together. She also is searching desperately for answers to her own fate: how and why she died and how her own family is coping with her loss. The two stories intertwine, and the resolution of how Ashlyn came to be linked so tightly to Breckon after her death is unexpected and powerful.
Though it is unquestionably a sad novel and a sad topic, it is perversely uplifting as Breckon learns just how strong his relationships with his parents, girlfriend and best friend really are. He tested and damaged each of those relationships during the course of this novel, and yet, when he hits rock bottom, he learns that love conquers all. He learns how to face grief, and even though he cannot be said to be coping with his grief and guilt by the end of the novel, he has certainly started down that path.
May 9, 2014
“The first moment is utter darkness.” My Beating Teenage Heart by C.K. Kelly Martin is about a teenage boy who lives through a tough life. Breckon’s sister passed away when she was only seven. Ever since his loss his old friend Ashlyn is looking down at him. She doesn't remember dying, and she has no memories of the life she left behind, but she knows Breckon and watches his every move from heaven. Breckon doesn’t remember who Ashlyn is and can’t hear a word she says, but he can sometimes hears a voice in his head but never know’s where it is coming from. Jules is Breckon’s girl friend, she tries to help him and comfort him when ever he needs someone. When Breckon gets stressed out Jules sneaks into her parents room and finds her dad’s sleeping pills, when she comes back Breckon has lost it so she forces him to take them.
I rated this book four stars because it really grabbed my attention at the beginning. I thought My Beating Teenage Heart was well written because of how the author included the afterlife of Ashlyn. The author made some parts of the book confusing but others were very interesting with lots of detail.
The age category for My Beating Teenage Heart would be appropriate for ages thirteen and up because some parts of the book had inappropriate language. The book also had inappropriate scenes. I enjoyed reading My Teenage Beating Heart because it was a different kind of book then I’ve read.
August 28, 2011
The plot of My Beating Teenage Heart is hard to describe without giving too much away. It is told in first person through the eyes of two different characters. In the beginning, they are both unnamed, so I am going to leave them this way...
I loved this book. LOVED it...The characters sucked me in and I needed to see them through to the end. One of my favorite things about the book was the healthy relationship the male character has with both his girlfriend and his best friend. He forgets their love at times, but they love him in a way that is real and true. I enjoyed reading a book where the people closest to a main character aren’t quick to betray or otherwise hurt their friend.
As I see another reviewer has said, if there is another female author who writes male characters better than C. K. Kelly Martin, I haven’t read said author...Ms. Martin’s teen male characters are deep, emotional, thoughtful, honest, and could step off the page fully formed.
The last two chapters in particular will make you want to keep the tissues close at hand. Not a fluffy read; it will take you on an emotional journey and leave you feeling wrung out yet satisfied and hopeful. Will definitely be a 2011 favorite of mine...
More thoughts of mine can be found at http://dogearedandwellread.wordpress....
I loved this book. LOVED it...The characters sucked me in and I needed to see them through to the end. One of my favorite things about the book was the healthy relationship the male character has with both his girlfriend and his best friend. He forgets their love at times, but they love him in a way that is real and true. I enjoyed reading a book where the people closest to a main character aren’t quick to betray or otherwise hurt their friend.
As I see another reviewer has said, if there is another female author who writes male characters better than C. K. Kelly Martin, I haven’t read said author...Ms. Martin’s teen male characters are deep, emotional, thoughtful, honest, and could step off the page fully formed.
The last two chapters in particular will make you want to keep the tissues close at hand. Not a fluffy read; it will take you on an emotional journey and leave you feeling wrung out yet satisfied and hopeful. Will definitely be a 2011 favorite of mine...
More thoughts of mine can be found at http://dogearedandwellread.wordpress....
September 18, 2011
MY BEATING TEENAGE HEART is a lyrical and highly emotional novel that I want to recommend to everyone! Seriously, the writing is absolutely gorgeous and characters each have their own heart-breaking stories that will bring tears to your eyes. The best part about the book is that you never know what to expect, what secrets will be revealed.
Ashlyn is one of the most complex characters that I have ever read about. She is an absolute mystery from the beginning, and it takes awhile to grasp what she is and why she is given full viewing access to Breckon's life, but hasn't an idea of her own. I had no idea what would come next, and what was happening with her. I was compelled to keep reading and discover Ashlyn's past.
Breckon's life was perfect until something horrible happens that leaves him a shell of the person he once was. My heart broke for everything that he had to go through, and what the emotions he experienced. I loved how real Martin made him. I have read a few books with a guy's perspective in them, but Breckon's felt the most realistic to me.
MY BEATING TEENAGE HEART is a YA novel that will slowly weave its way into your heart. It is definitely one of my favorite books that I have read this year.
Ashlyn is one of the most complex characters that I have ever read about. She is an absolute mystery from the beginning, and it takes awhile to grasp what she is and why she is given full viewing access to Breckon's life, but hasn't an idea of her own. I had no idea what would come next, and what was happening with her. I was compelled to keep reading and discover Ashlyn's past.
Breckon's life was perfect until something horrible happens that leaves him a shell of the person he once was. My heart broke for everything that he had to go through, and what the emotions he experienced. I loved how real Martin made him. I have read a few books with a guy's perspective in them, but Breckon's felt the most realistic to me.
MY BEATING TEENAGE HEART is a YA novel that will slowly weave its way into your heart. It is definitely one of my favorite books that I have read this year.
April 22, 2012
I think this book was awesome but marketed all wrong. The cover and title give the impression of a love story, or maybe sappy vampire fiction. NOT what this novel is about. Even the quotes on the back are all about Ashlyn, whereas the greater part of the book is about Breckon. I think that guys could enjoy this novel but like so many YA books it’s packaged in a way that only appeals to girls.
This book is not for tweens, or the squeamish. It involves the death of a child, grief, self-mutilation, suicide, drinking, sex, the molestation of a child, and very mature themes. Despite the gritty reality of Breckon’s story it is framed by a fantasy POV- a ghost or angel depending on how you look at it, watching over him as he falls into a self-destructive spiral. This sometimes lightens the mood, and sometimes makes it more eerie. The spirit observing Breckon has her traumas come back to her in waves of repressed memory as she sees his pain.
It’s a very dark novel, but it offers some hope. There are bits of humour, and good friends that make the darkness tolerable. I think this is a book that will be challenged in schools and libraries for being too shocking but I stand by what I said before about the value of books that deal with these issues.
This book is not for tweens, or the squeamish. It involves the death of a child, grief, self-mutilation, suicide, drinking, sex, the molestation of a child, and very mature themes. Despite the gritty reality of Breckon’s story it is framed by a fantasy POV- a ghost or angel depending on how you look at it, watching over him as he falls into a self-destructive spiral. This sometimes lightens the mood, and sometimes makes it more eerie. The spirit observing Breckon has her traumas come back to her in waves of repressed memory as she sees his pain.
It’s a very dark novel, but it offers some hope. There are bits of humour, and good friends that make the darkness tolerable. I think this is a book that will be challenged in schools and libraries for being too shocking but I stand by what I said before about the value of books that deal with these issues.
November 14, 2011
I loved this book from start to finish, and really wasn't ready to let it go. The plot is simple enough that without great writing and characterization, it wouldn't have been the story it is. Yet C. K. Kelly Martin did a wonderful job creating Breckon's world and showcasing it through his and Ashlyn's alternating viewpoints.
The story starts off with Ashlyn not knowing anything of her past, so we learn about her as she begins to recover her memories. As she isn't entirely certain about where she is or why the only person she can follow around is Breckon-while she can't seem to find her own family-mystery surrounds the pair until the last few chapters, when all is revealed. I found myself eagerly anticipating the end, wanting to know what all of the buildup was about. It definitely doesn't disappoint, though it is unexpected.
This novel is great, and I highly recommend it. I flew through the pages and finished it in record time. The writing is simple and flows nicely, the style something I definitely like. I definitely need to read more by this author!
UNBELIEVABLY BRILLIANT. 5/5 stars
The story starts off with Ashlyn not knowing anything of her past, so we learn about her as she begins to recover her memories. As she isn't entirely certain about where she is or why the only person she can follow around is Breckon-while she can't seem to find her own family-mystery surrounds the pair until the last few chapters, when all is revealed. I found myself eagerly anticipating the end, wanting to know what all of the buildup was about. It definitely doesn't disappoint, though it is unexpected.
This novel is great, and I highly recommend it. I flew through the pages and finished it in record time. The writing is simple and flows nicely, the style something I definitely like. I definitely need to read more by this author!
UNBELIEVABLY BRILLIANT. 5/5 stars
March 19, 2012
I don't know why I always get sucked into these types of books when I really should be avoiding them. My fault for not reading the book jacket thoroughly. BUT, if you are someone who's presently grieving for a loved one who recently passed on, this is not the book for you. I found myself getting depressed reading about the male protagonist of this book who finds himself broken and not wanting to live on as he blames himself for the death of his little sister. Like I said, you don't find some light at the end of the tunnel, which is a very long tunnel indeed in this book, until the very end. I almost didn't finish this book either because I was beginning to get depressed myself but I knew there has to be a moral lesson to all this and thank goodness I did keep reading because it is a remarkable book! I had tears throughout and especially in the end. Because I do believe that our love ones that have passed on are closer to us than we think, more than ever, and are watching over us.
January 23, 2012
I don't really read books like this but the summary caught my attention. It was a good book. The descriptions of loss and suffering were well written and made me feel sympathy for the characters, Breckon and Ashlyn. I did love the dual point of perspectives through out the book. It was very interesting to see how an unbiased on looker would have seen the situation. For me it did slow down a little in the early middle with a bit of redundancy on how much Breckon was suffering. How Ashlyn's character developed from her own memories was great too. I'm giving it 3 stars because this isn't really a genre I read that often. If you like inspirational, sad stories of characters overcoming loss or depression I'm sure you will enjoy this book.
Read
November 28, 2011Really good. The last chapter was incredibly beautiful.
November 19, 2016
DNF at 120 pages.
I'm not quite sure how to explain why I dislike this book, except to say that it doesn't speak to me on any level. Breckon is a very flat character, without much real personality. This is probably because, throughout the sections of the novel I've read so far, he literally does nothing except angst. It's hard to get a sense of him when there's so little variety to his thoughts and actions. And I know that he's just lost someone, so yeah, he's gonna be sad a lot, but the way Martin expresses that sadness is just so monotone - it's mostly scenes of him being alone, or refusing to talk to people. Which is a shame, because we do get hints that he does have a life outside of losing his sister and talking to his girlfriend, but very little of it ends up informing his personality or actions. Ashlyn is even worse - because of the structure of the novel, we really can't know anything about her, so the novel is essentially being narrated by a blank slate. It strikes me as a big mistake to have her narrate the majority of the novel, because her chapters are boring - she has no conflict, no personality, and only the beginnings of a backstory. I get that Martin wanted to withhold information to give us surprises, but I think it might have been a good idea to give us at least a little more information about why Ashlyn was following Breckon around after her death. I'm sure the answer will have something to do with her life, perhaps some sort of lesson she has to learn, but because it's impossible to connect to Ashlyn, it's not a particularly compelling mystery.
But I think the biggest problem is the fact that I just don't buy these characters' voices. Ashlyn and Breckon's voices are very similar, and neither of them feel authentic to a teenager. There are a lot of words and turns of phrase that I just can't picture any teenager using. Not to mention that a lot of the writing is just awkward and cheesy. Martin was trying to capture the internal struggles involved in grieving the death of a loved one, but perhaps because because the characters aren't very developed, it comes off as mostly bland, with occasional bits of adult-trying-to-imitate-a-teenager cheese. In that way, this book is broken on a foundational level - Martin just doesn't have the tools to tell this story the way it should be told. And the end result is that I never related to either of these characters, and while I was at first intrigued by the structure, I didn't find it compelling enough to keep going.
This book isn't a disaster. There's nothing egregiously wrong with it - most of the scenes are bland but tolerable, and every once in a while, Martin does seem to have a flash of insight. But there's not enough here to keep you going. Ashlyn's chapters mostly remind me of a contemporary version of Messenger of Fear, another book I didn't like, which is maybe a sign that the premise of a person observing bad events without the power to spot them isn't a plot I like.* Breckon's chapters most reminded me of a blander version of Saving June. And don't get me wrong, Saving June is a very flawed book, but it at least managed to capture the emptiness and despair after losing a loved one, and it did so in a way that fleshed out the protagonist and avoided the monotony that plagues this book. I feel like Martin was going for something similar to Saving June, and it's a shame that she wound up with this instead. I don't think Martin is a terrible author, but it's clear that she doesn't have the tools to pull off this story, making this book cliched and hollow.
*Then again, I liked The Book Thief a lot. But I guess the difference there is that Death doesn't have a character arc or anything like that - the story really belongs to the characters he's telling us about.
I'm not quite sure how to explain why I dislike this book, except to say that it doesn't speak to me on any level. Breckon is a very flat character, without much real personality. This is probably because, throughout the sections of the novel I've read so far, he literally does nothing except angst. It's hard to get a sense of him when there's so little variety to his thoughts and actions. And I know that he's just lost someone, so yeah, he's gonna be sad a lot, but the way Martin expresses that sadness is just so monotone - it's mostly scenes of him being alone, or refusing to talk to people. Which is a shame, because we do get hints that he does have a life outside of losing his sister and talking to his girlfriend, but very little of it ends up informing his personality or actions. Ashlyn is even worse - because of the structure of the novel, we really can't know anything about her, so the novel is essentially being narrated by a blank slate. It strikes me as a big mistake to have her narrate the majority of the novel, because her chapters are boring - she has no conflict, no personality, and only the beginnings of a backstory. I get that Martin wanted to withhold information to give us surprises, but I think it might have been a good idea to give us at least a little more information about why Ashlyn was following Breckon around after her death. I'm sure the answer will have something to do with her life, perhaps some sort of lesson she has to learn, but because it's impossible to connect to Ashlyn, it's not a particularly compelling mystery.
But I think the biggest problem is the fact that I just don't buy these characters' voices. Ashlyn and Breckon's voices are very similar, and neither of them feel authentic to a teenager. There are a lot of words and turns of phrase that I just can't picture any teenager using. Not to mention that a lot of the writing is just awkward and cheesy. Martin was trying to capture the internal struggles involved in grieving the death of a loved one, but perhaps because because the characters aren't very developed, it comes off as mostly bland, with occasional bits of adult-trying-to-imitate-a-teenager cheese. In that way, this book is broken on a foundational level - Martin just doesn't have the tools to tell this story the way it should be told. And the end result is that I never related to either of these characters, and while I was at first intrigued by the structure, I didn't find it compelling enough to keep going.
This book isn't a disaster. There's nothing egregiously wrong with it - most of the scenes are bland but tolerable, and every once in a while, Martin does seem to have a flash of insight. But there's not enough here to keep you going. Ashlyn's chapters mostly remind me of a contemporary version of Messenger of Fear, another book I didn't like, which is maybe a sign that the premise of a person observing bad events without the power to spot them isn't a plot I like.* Breckon's chapters most reminded me of a blander version of Saving June. And don't get me wrong, Saving June is a very flawed book, but it at least managed to capture the emptiness and despair after losing a loved one, and it did so in a way that fleshed out the protagonist and avoided the monotony that plagues this book. I feel like Martin was going for something similar to Saving June, and it's a shame that she wound up with this instead. I don't think Martin is a terrible author, but it's clear that she doesn't have the tools to pull off this story, making this book cliched and hollow.
*Then again, I liked The Book Thief a lot. But I guess the difference there is that Death doesn't have a character arc or anything like that - the story really belongs to the characters he's telling us about.
January 27, 2012
My Rating: <3 <3 <3 <3
Great!
*This book was provided by the lovely people at Random House, through their Bookurious site's Blog It Forward program.
It's interesting having someone send a book to you, rather then simply picking one up from the bookstore yourself. It can be a very uplifting, or at times very awkward, experience. I had heard of My Beating Teenage Heart before I received it as part of Blog It Forward, it was even on my list. But truthfully, all by itself it's not likely the type of book that I would have immediately put at the top or been drawn to. I usually focus on reading and reviewing books with a central or fairly central romantic theme, and while there is a bit of couple stuff here that's not the main focus of this book.
How much I would have missed! This book is absolutely fantastic and manages to tackle some very challenging situations with grace, honesty and style. Read on to see why I feel that My Beating Teenage Heart is an absolutely fantastic read that is not to be missed.
The Plot: (Summary from GoodReads)
Ashlyn Baptiste is falling. One moment she was nothing—no memories, no self—and then suddenly, she's plummeting through a sea of stars. Is she in a coma? She doesn't remember dying, and she has no memories of the life she left behind. All she knows is that she's trapped in a consciousness without a body and she's spending every moment watching a stranger.
Breckon Cody's on the edge. He's being ripped apart by grief so intense it literally hurts to breathe. On the surface, Breckon is trying to hold it together for his family and his girlfriend, but underneath he's barely hanging on.
Even though she didn't know him in life, Ashlyn sees Breckon's pain, and she's determined to find a way help him. As her own distressing memories emerge from the darkness, she struggles to communicate with the boy who can't see her, but whose life is suddenly intertwined with hers. In alternating voices of the main characters, My Beating Teenage Heart paints a devastatingly vivid picture of both the heartbreak and the promise of teenage life—a life Ashlyn would do anything to recover and Breckon seems desperate to destroy—and will appeal to fans of Sarah Dessen, John Green, and David Levithan.
There are two central questions being asked at the heart of this book, and both seem very worth investigating. The first, as shown through Ashlyn, is "What happens when we die?". How many centuries have we, as a species, wondered this? I love books that explore this theme, because there is so much that can be done with it. And I feel that C.K. Kelly Martin's take on their being some type of space between life, death and what comes next was really interesting.
It also lined everything up for the second major thing being explored, which is how do we move on when we lose someone we love? And (in the case of Breckon) forgive ourselves for a self-imposed crime? The guilt that he felt over the death of his little sister was absolutely heart wrenching, and I was dying to know just *what* he felt he had done from pretty much word go.
That's another thing that made the book great, though. Usually with a mystery inside of a book we see people trying to solve it and it's an external thing. In the case of My Beating Teenage Heart, the characters themselves were the mysteries -- for Ashlyn remembering who she was and for Breckon letting the reader find out what exactly happen to his sister. This made for some very effortless page turning. We had a power out while I was reading this and I was literally using my iPod as a light source because I didn't want to put the book down.
The Characters:
I found Ashlyn to be a likable and gutsy heroine. I don't get to use a word like that about a (mostly) contemporary book heroine often and that made her refreshing. I loved watching her sort through her own past and stand, watching and wishing for a way to help, as Breckon's grief threatened to weigh him down. As she slowly came into her own and began to be able to do things I cheered for her. Despite her own loss -- death even -- she was determined that she would find a way to help him. For me, it isn't so much a question of her succeeding or not that made her heroic, but rather her willingness to be there for another when she was trapped in a time of great need herself.
That's not to say that Breckon is the lesser of the two characters, weak, or anything like that. The complexities of his character -- and the absolutely "Oh, no he *didn't!* revelation that is shown near the end of the book, which I'm not going into! -- will have you thoroughly convinced that despite everything he goes through here, he is totally worth fighting for. And ultimately, that he is a fighter himself, who is destined to move on from what is holding him down. Writing a character who is drowning, and making sure that the reader doesn't suddenly decide that drowning him would be alright, is challenging. C.K. Kelly Martin takes this challenge head on and succeeds.
The rest of the cast is equally solid. We see, through Breckon's parents, varying levels of coping with grief. His beat friend Ty and girlfriend Jules are both great. And who can't help but love a book with a pomeranian named Moose? Not me, that's for sure.
The Romance:
As I stated earlier, this is not a love story (at least of the romantic kind -- there is certainly a thorough exploration of other types of love.). However, I have to give credit where it's due. I feel that the relationship between Breckon and Jules was handled very well here. It added a layer of depth to a much larger story and was used to great effect to show how everything that was happening was changing multiple aspects of Breckon's life. (As well as helping Ashlyn recall hers.)
In General:
There are really only two ways that a book like this can go for me. Either it's totally awesome and I love it and I end up thinking an author had a stroke of genius writing it. Or I'm frustrated by it and it ends up getting used as a frisbee and potentially breaking my TV. My Beating Teenage Heart is the former of these two scenarios. It's honest and real where it needs to be, it has a cool hint of what might lie beyond which does not take away from the 'reality' of the book, and despite the sorrow facing its characters, it is ultimately a message of love, forgiveness and hope. I can't praise this high enough.
Great!
*This book was provided by the lovely people at Random House, through their Bookurious site's Blog It Forward program.
It's interesting having someone send a book to you, rather then simply picking one up from the bookstore yourself. It can be a very uplifting, or at times very awkward, experience. I had heard of My Beating Teenage Heart before I received it as part of Blog It Forward, it was even on my list. But truthfully, all by itself it's not likely the type of book that I would have immediately put at the top or been drawn to. I usually focus on reading and reviewing books with a central or fairly central romantic theme, and while there is a bit of couple stuff here that's not the main focus of this book.
How much I would have missed! This book is absolutely fantastic and manages to tackle some very challenging situations with grace, honesty and style. Read on to see why I feel that My Beating Teenage Heart is an absolutely fantastic read that is not to be missed.
The Plot: (Summary from GoodReads)
Ashlyn Baptiste is falling. One moment she was nothing—no memories, no self—and then suddenly, she's plummeting through a sea of stars. Is she in a coma? She doesn't remember dying, and she has no memories of the life she left behind. All she knows is that she's trapped in a consciousness without a body and she's spending every moment watching a stranger.
Breckon Cody's on the edge. He's being ripped apart by grief so intense it literally hurts to breathe. On the surface, Breckon is trying to hold it together for his family and his girlfriend, but underneath he's barely hanging on.
Even though she didn't know him in life, Ashlyn sees Breckon's pain, and she's determined to find a way help him. As her own distressing memories emerge from the darkness, she struggles to communicate with the boy who can't see her, but whose life is suddenly intertwined with hers. In alternating voices of the main characters, My Beating Teenage Heart paints a devastatingly vivid picture of both the heartbreak and the promise of teenage life—a life Ashlyn would do anything to recover and Breckon seems desperate to destroy—and will appeal to fans of Sarah Dessen, John Green, and David Levithan.
There are two central questions being asked at the heart of this book, and both seem very worth investigating. The first, as shown through Ashlyn, is "What happens when we die?". How many centuries have we, as a species, wondered this? I love books that explore this theme, because there is so much that can be done with it. And I feel that C.K. Kelly Martin's take on their being some type of space between life, death and what comes next was really interesting.
It also lined everything up for the second major thing being explored, which is how do we move on when we lose someone we love? And (in the case of Breckon) forgive ourselves for a self-imposed crime? The guilt that he felt over the death of his little sister was absolutely heart wrenching, and I was dying to know just *what* he felt he had done from pretty much word go.
That's another thing that made the book great, though. Usually with a mystery inside of a book we see people trying to solve it and it's an external thing. In the case of My Beating Teenage Heart, the characters themselves were the mysteries -- for Ashlyn remembering who she was and for Breckon letting the reader find out what exactly happen to his sister. This made for some very effortless page turning. We had a power out while I was reading this and I was literally using my iPod as a light source because I didn't want to put the book down.
The Characters:
I found Ashlyn to be a likable and gutsy heroine. I don't get to use a word like that about a (mostly) contemporary book heroine often and that made her refreshing. I loved watching her sort through her own past and stand, watching and wishing for a way to help, as Breckon's grief threatened to weigh him down. As she slowly came into her own and began to be able to do things I cheered for her. Despite her own loss -- death even -- she was determined that she would find a way to help him. For me, it isn't so much a question of her succeeding or not that made her heroic, but rather her willingness to be there for another when she was trapped in a time of great need herself.
That's not to say that Breckon is the lesser of the two characters, weak, or anything like that. The complexities of his character -- and the absolutely "Oh, no he *didn't!* revelation that is shown near the end of the book, which I'm not going into! -- will have you thoroughly convinced that despite everything he goes through here, he is totally worth fighting for. And ultimately, that he is a fighter himself, who is destined to move on from what is holding him down. Writing a character who is drowning, and making sure that the reader doesn't suddenly decide that drowning him would be alright, is challenging. C.K. Kelly Martin takes this challenge head on and succeeds.
The rest of the cast is equally solid. We see, through Breckon's parents, varying levels of coping with grief. His beat friend Ty and girlfriend Jules are both great. And who can't help but love a book with a pomeranian named Moose? Not me, that's for sure.
The Romance:
As I stated earlier, this is not a love story (at least of the romantic kind -- there is certainly a thorough exploration of other types of love.). However, I have to give credit where it's due. I feel that the relationship between Breckon and Jules was handled very well here. It added a layer of depth to a much larger story and was used to great effect to show how everything that was happening was changing multiple aspects of Breckon's life. (As well as helping Ashlyn recall hers.)
In General:
There are really only two ways that a book like this can go for me. Either it's totally awesome and I love it and I end up thinking an author had a stroke of genius writing it. Or I'm frustrated by it and it ends up getting used as a frisbee and potentially breaking my TV. My Beating Teenage Heart is the former of these two scenarios. It's honest and real where it needs to be, it has a cool hint of what might lie beyond which does not take away from the 'reality' of the book, and despite the sorrow facing its characters, it is ultimately a message of love, forgiveness and hope. I can't praise this high enough.
August 11, 2017
"I am what people mean when they say 'ashes to ashes, dust to dust' and 'I'm so very sorry for your loss,' and I can't for one second, stop longing for my body, my life, Mom, Dad, Celeste, Garrett, my grandparents, the taste of orange ice cream on the tip of my tongue and every single person I have ever loved."
Woah. I guess you could say this book was incredibly sad. I mean it deals with some heavy shit. Death, loss, grief, and self harm to start...BUT for me it was a discovery. A story of hope and wonder and filled with love and imagination. A wonderful read that tugs at the heart and leaves the reader full of everything, every feeling, every emotion.
miss you A. ~ <3 always
Woah. I guess you could say this book was incredibly sad. I mean it deals with some heavy shit. Death, loss, grief, and self harm to start...BUT for me it was a discovery. A story of hope and wonder and filled with love and imagination. A wonderful read that tugs at the heart and leaves the reader full of everything, every feeling, every emotion.
miss you A. ~ <3 always
November 19, 2022
This is an excellent book and one of the few YA novels I kept when I cleaned out my bookshelves a few years go. The sentences are well-crafted, the characters are realistic, and the plot is engrossing--I had a hard time putting it down! The tone is relatable for teenagers without being angsty or full of clichés. I wish all YA novels were this deep and well-written!
April 4, 2018
This book helped me get out of the mini reading slump I'm in. Engaging, interesting, filled with a little mystery, and characters that you really come to love- this book is a very interesting look at grief and how we can move on when we feel so stuck in what happened in the past.
May 30, 2018
Very emotional read! For a YA novel, the book goes into some pretty heavy subjects like sexual assault, alcohol/drug abuse and death/grief. The writing is very well done and the story is captivating—finished the book in two days.
July 21, 2018
The title might suggest a soppy teen romance but no, the main character may be dead, doesn't seem to be able to move on, and is left watching a stranger in pain.
August 16, 2021
One of the most beautiful books I’ve ever read, I think about it all the time.
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