From the bestselling author of Marriage on the Rock , Four Laws of Love represents the culmination of Jimmy Evans’ influential career. In this deeply personal book, Jimmy Evans outlines the foundational pillars upon which God designed marriage. Without holding back, he tells the story of his own marriage, which was hurtling toward divorce until this self-proclaimed “bad husband” came to recognize and put into practice these four laws. This book sounds a wake-up call for every kind of marriage, including those that are barely surviving and those that seem to operate on autopilot. Couples who follow these simple guidelines ― recognizing the original intent and purpose of marriage―will inject new life into their unions. They’ll see hurting marriages find healing and watch good marriages become great. Each revitalized relationship will play a part in restoring marriage to its sacred role at the center of human civilization.
Whether you’re single, engaged or married, this book outlines marriage in such a vulnerable, beautiful & authentic way.
Jimmy is honest and sincere - unafraid of discussing the good, bad and ugly of being in close relationship with others as sinners.
His advice is clear, biblical & sound. Many books about marriage feel more like a lecture, yet, during my entire time reading this book, it felt more like an open conversation, which I loved. I found myself feeling encouraged, seen and excited to implement biblical principles into every relationship - even friendships or with loved ones.
I loved sharing this book with my spouse, and will be recommending it to ALL of my friends!
God truly spoke to me through this novel to reflect on how I can authentically love others. Applicable to every area of our modern lives, The Four Laws of Love has truly impacted me beyond explanation!
Every person on planet earth needs to read this. Whether you’re single, married, not sure if marriage is for you, divorced, etc - you will gain much knowledge and insight into God’s purpose for marriage and how to love your spouse. I read this book in two days! I was hooked. And I have already started to implement learnings into my own marriage.
I have a lot of feelings towards this book, so I will do my best to keep it respectful and concise (no promises).
I have done several Christian marriage studies, and this one easily comes in last place. There are good tidbits here and there, but my issue is with everything else in between.
First off, it’s hard for me to take anyone seriously who currently runs an organization called EndTimes.com. Anyone claiming to have a very specific knowledge about the end times is someone to be wary of. To me, his current messages are not biblically based. Therefore, I would rather source my information from someone who is not touting off conspiracy theories.
Second, the amount of times he stated how men need sex while women don’t absolutely flabbergasted me. In addition to this, he also had some pretty backwards opinions on sex.
For example, the thing that bothered me the most was a letter that he included. The letter was from a woman he had worked with. Her husband was verbally abusive, but apparently God told her to continue having sex with her husband, even though she was uncomfortable. She claimed this fixed her marriage, and it was all because of Jimmy’s advice. To me, this is condoning abuse. This is where I lost all respect for the author.
If you are considering reading this to better your marriage, I would strongly advise that you choose anything else.
There are so many different things I could say about how bad of a book this is but I just cant bring myself to care enough to write anything witty or funny in response. Jimmy is an old school man who struggled to (attempt to) overcome his old school mindset. He cares way too much about sex, you can tell it is his end goal in anything he tries to represent here. He has a good nugget here or there, but thats it. Chapter 14 was a really good chapter, he focuses on anger and how to deal with it, but I fully believe this chapter was good because he has the mindest if "if one of us is angry then nobodies having sex, so let's fix this."
Don't waste your time trying to get anything out of this, there are other books out there that do the same thing better, and they will respect your time.
“What is your together purpose? it has to be something greater than paying the bills. What is it that you can be a part of as a married couple that is bigger than you? What is it that you can do together that you cannot do alone? That purpose will cause you to grow together and stay together for the rest of your lives” - Jimmy Evans
I was introduced to Jimmy Evans through an XO Marriage live streaming event (Hope for Homes) and liked his style of preaching. In his portion of that event, he mentioned this book and I was glad that Hoopla is featuring it as part of their collection. I adored this book! Evans breaks down the four laws of love found in Genesis, the initial Bible verse about marriage. I've been talking about three of the four laws mentioned ad nauseam to my husband for years, but for the first time was able to see ways that I fall short as well. I'm incredibly stubborn and struggle with pride, so I appreciated the direct way that this book points out what each spouse needs in a marriage and how to change your own behaviors instead of expecting your partner to do so first. I've already recommended this book to my husband and will for sure be rereading this in the future to reinforce the concepts presented.
Boken er et meget godt startpunkt for ens tanker om framtiden og hvordan tilnærme seg den. Ekte kjærlighet blir ikke bygget i overflatiske og selvsentrerte relasjoner.
Den som tror at det viktigste med ekteskap, familie og det å ha barn er å gjøre livet mest mulig behagelig for seg selv, vil trolig aldri oppleve ekte kjærlighet. Den som ser det å gi av seg selv som et tap, fordi ens ego er ens øverste prioritet, vil leve for evig i en konstant maktkamp om dominans med sine omgivelser. Og alle rundt den vil lide. Som boken sier, ekteskap krever at de gifte har hverandre som den viktigste personen i livet og at en da prioriterer hverandre deretter.
En kan ikke bety noe for hverandre med mindre en har behov for hverandre, og da kan det å trenge den andre eller selv å være trengt ikke forstås som en svakhet. Det må faktisk forstås som den største nøkkel overhode for å kunne komme nær hverandre og oppleve at noen bryr seg om en. Er ikke det hva vi søker? Hva er Happy Days uten noen å være happy med? Og hvor glad kan en være hvis det å ikke være "happy" betyr enden på visen? Blir ikke da det å framvise "lykke" og "positivitet" en tvangstrøye og et Damokles sverd?
Hvis det å kunne dele sin fortvilelse, sorg, frustrasjon, sinne og skamfølelse over sine "shortcomings" og "mislykkethet" faktisk er nøkkelen til å føle seg godt om seg selv og føle trygghet for framtiden, må en ikke anse disse naturlige delene av menneskehjertet som en gode og en gave? For hva er det et hjerte som bryr seg føler i vanskelige tider, der kanskje noen av dets nærmeste har vanskeligheter eller skaper vanskeligheter? Er det naturlig for et godt hjerte å da være fylt av glede eller ubekymrethet? Eller er det faktisk bare egoistiske og uempatiske hjerter som kan være så kalde?
Jeg tror at nye par har godt av ta seg god tid til bare det å lande og bygge fortrolighet sammen. En kommer fra hver sin kant, med mye forskjellige erfaringer. Jeg lurer på om det er lurt å minimere eksternt engasjement og begrense besøkende i en lengre periode, for å ha roen og tiden en trenger til å avklimatisere seg til den nye tilværelsen. Det er nok en periode der en gjør klokt i å ikke ha store forventninger til hverandre og til hva forholdet skal være. Et forhold er et livsprosjekt, ikke en ferieweekend for underholdningens skyld. Det er faktisk ikke så nøye hvordan starten er, for det er veien videre sammen som er det som teller for hvor en ender opp. Og den som tror at livet er en picnic uten seriøse utfordringer vil stort sett gå på en smell senere i livet. Det er ikke antall utfordringer som avgjør hvor godt forholdet blir, men heller hvor gode en er i forholdet til å bearbeide og samarbeide rundt dem. Jeg tror de beste forholdene er de som har vært gjennom mye og kommet ut mer samlet og enshjertet enn de trodde var mulig.
Jeg tror også par som gjør et stort poeng ut av "hvem pengene kommer fra" skyter seg selv i foten. Det å tro at det er en naturlig del av livet at mann og kone tjener cirka det samme og at begge burde "bidra likt" er ubegripelig virkelighetsfjernt og korttenkt. I en familie varierer behovene sterkt og det er jo forsvinnende lite at det som skjer som "skaper penger". Så hva er det en gjør hvis en da opphøyer inntjening til et senterfokus? Hva og hvem er det en da prioriterer i sitt liv? Hva er en mest opptatt av som menneske? Det er garantert perioder i ethvert menneskes liv der de har begrenset med krefter og de må velge med omhu hva de makter å fokusere på. Skal da "forpliktelsene", eller snarere forventningene, i forhold til inntjening gå foran? Det høres jo imponerende omsorgsfullt ut; "Kjære, jeg elsker deg høyt, men hvis du ikke passer på å jobbe nå så har jeg ingen respekt for deg lenger." Like stort er jo spørsmålet om hvilke aktiviteter en familie vil fokusere på. Det koster faktisk ikke så mye med litt peiskos, en kopp kakao og ei god bok. Mange barn synes det er det beste de kan få når mamma eller pappa leser for dem. Men det er jo ofte "kjedelig" i moderne tankegang. Kjærligheten til penger har blitt kalt roten til alt ondt og jeg tror jeg er enig der...
"Og den som tar imot et slikt lite barn i mitt navn, tar imot meg. Men den som lokker til fall en av disse små som tror på meg, han var bedre tjent med å få en kvernstein hengt om halsen og bli senket i havets dyp. Ve denne verden som lokker til fall! Forførelsene må komme, men ve det mennesket som de kommer fra!"
"Salige er de som sørger, for de skal trøstes. Salige er de ydmyke, for de skal arve jorden. Salige er de som hungrer og tørster etter rettferdigheten, for de skal mettes. Salige er de barmhjertige, for de skal få barmhjertighet. Salige er de rene av hjertet, for de skal se Gud. Salige er de som skaper fred, for de skal kalles Guds barn. Salige er de som blir forfulgt for rettferdighets skyld, for himmelriket er deres. Ja, salige er dere når de for min skyld håner og forfølger dere, [lyver] og snakker ondt om dere på alle vis. Gled og fryd dere, for stor er lønnen dere har i himmelen."
"Et rettferdig menneskes bønn er virksom og utretter mye."
"Be, så skal dere få. Let, så skal dere finne. Bank på, så skal det lukkes opp for dere. "
"La dere ikke føre vill, mine kjære søsken! All god gave og all fullkommen gave kommer ovenfra, fra ham som er himmellysenes Far. Hos ham er det ingen forandring eller skiftende skygger. "
"Vær ikke bekymret for noe! Men legg alt dere har på hjertet, fram for Gud. Be og kall på ham med takk. Og Guds fred, som overgår all forstand, skal bevare deres hjerter og tanker ... Til slutt, søsken: Alt som er sant og edelt, rett og rent, alt som er verdt å elske og akte, det som er god livsførsel og som fortjener ros, legg vinn på det!"
"Se på dere selv, søsken, dere som ble kalt: ikke mange vise etter menneskelige mål og ikke mange med makt eller av fornem slekt. Men det som i verdens øyne er dårskap, det utvalgte Gud for å gjøre de vise til skamme, og det som i verdens øyne er svakt, det utvalgte Gud for å gjøre det sterke til skamme. Ja, det som i verdens øyne står lavt, det som blir foraktet, det som ikke er noe, det utvalgte Gud for å gjøre til intet det som er noe, for at ingen mennesker skal ha noe å være stolt av overfor Gud. Dere er hans verk [...], han som er blitt vår visdom fra Gud, vår rettferdighet, helliggjørelse og forløsning, for at den som er stolt, skal være stolt av Herren, slik det står skrevet. "
"«Min nåde er nok for deg, for kraften fullendes i svakhet.» Derfor vil jeg helst være stolt av mine svakheter, for at Guds kraft kan ta bolig i meg. Og derfor er jeg fylt av glede når jeg for Guds skyld er svak, blir mishandlet, er i nød, i forfølgelser og i angst. For når jeg er svak, da er jeg sterk."
"...dere kvinner... La ikke ytre stas, som frisyrer, gullkjeder og fine klær, være det som pryder dere, men hjertet, det skjulte mennesket med sin milde og rolige ånd, som er uforgjengelig og dyrebar for Gud. For slik smykket de hellige kvinnene seg i tidligere tider, de som satte sin lit til Gud."
"Kom til meg, alle dere som strever og bærer tunge byrder, og jeg vil gi dere hvile."
"Frykt ikke, for jeg er med deg, vær ikke redd, for jeg er din Gud! Jeg gjør deg sterk og hjelper deg og holder deg oppe med min rettferds høyre hånd. Se, til skamme og til spott blir alle som er harme på deg. De blir til intet og går til grunne, de som går i rette med deg."
"Igjen skal de hjelpeløse glede seg i Herren, de fattigste blant mennesker skal juble over Israels Hellige. For det er ute med voldsmannen, borte er spotteren, utryddet er alle ondskapens voktere, de som med sitt ord dømte folk skyldige, la snarer for den som hevdet retten i byporten, og med tomme ord drev rettferdige bort."
I think this book would make a great wedding gift so I am sending it to my nephew who just got married. Although I think it would be an excellent book to have read before getting married to get started right. But any stage of marriage could use these reminders and will give you ideas to improve your marriage. It's never too late.
The 4 laws: Priority, Pursuit, Partnership and Purity. Then they are each broken down in the "how- too's" Great read for any stage of your relationship. Remember "Marriage is a relationship created and sustained by God."
Marriage takes commitment, work and fun on our part.
My husband and I got a copy of this book to learn more about a Godly marriage after we attended an XO Marriage retreat with our church. There is a lot of good information in here. Some of it was good for now and some of it was good for later. There are some things that are not true. For example the information about a woman's hymen being useless and scientists being clueless. Many OB/GYN doctors that I have seen or talked to have said that it is to keep that area safe as a baby from bacteria that could get inside. Other than a few of these moments, this was a rather good and information book with many things my husband and I have used or done.
Overall, this was a good book There is never a limit on the number of books I can read to grow my relationship and this book was even better because my wife read it as well This allowed us to share thoughts about the concepts in the book and to put together plans to grow our relationship The one thing I want to enact from this book is a “vision retreat,” where you go on a mini vacation with only your spouse and you spend a majority of that time discussing the previous year and what plans you will put together for your family
Such a good book that is easy to read with so many helpful insights.
I would have given this book 5 starts had it not been the incorrect teaching of soul-ties at the end of the book. We have a spirit, we are a soul. We do not tie our souls to someone. Otherwise we would bring all these other souls with us when we die, and that is not biblically accurate or stated in God’s Word. It’s interesting that he states there’s no soulmate yet then talks about soul-ties. It all stems from new age teaching that has crept into the Christian teaching.
One of the things Bob and I do to keep our marriage strong is to read marriage related books together. We find they provide topics on which we can discuss. Jimmy Evans is one of my favorite Christian marriage counselors. I found him on TBN a few years ago and enjoyed his presentations. I would have given five stars but we have read other books by Evans so some of the material is repeatitive. Highly recommend it for any couple.
Jimmy Evans is excellent at explaining and teaching on such an important subject. I read this book as a marriage refresher 20 years in and at times it was a comfort to know my husband andbI are still getting it right plus I learned a few new things and was reminded of some things we had forgotten. I believe every couple, whether starting out or 50 years into their marriage should read this book.
It not only gives practical advice but speaks on why we need to do what we need to do for our marriage to succeed. One of my favorite lines from this book is - "your marriage will stop working if you don't work on your marriage". Love is not a feeling it is an action and Jimmy describes it in this book very well! It is not gender-biased. would recommend couples to do this reading together and check on the health of their marriage
Excellent enriching book. The Four Laws of Love is an awesome resource for anyone considering, seeking, and already married couples. It has so many nuggets of biblical truths to bless your relationship and unlock the doors to an extraordinary making of God purposed marriage. Recommend material. Caution: life changing if applied
Uno de los dos mejores libros que han caído en mis manos sobre matrimonio. El pastor Evans explica de manera magistral cada área importante en el matrimonio y da consejos prácticos para mejorarlo. Me ha llenado de fe y creo completamente que lo que dice es cierto!!
What a great book on marriage by Jimmy Evans. He shared a lot of simple truths on creating a marriage that honors God and your spouse. It helped me evaulate how I communicate to my spouse and how to show love to him that will aid our marriage to floursh. I appreciate this book and the perspective that it persented.
This book is written across all ages and stages of marriage, and there many practical tools, practices and insight to better your marriage and understand your spouse. It's well structured and easy to read while covering some pretty deep topics. Certainly some items for me to take away and work on now, and revisit the book again in the future to build on it.
This book was enlightening and beautifully written. This is a book you don’t just read once and put it back on the shelf, it is a book you read, work through individually and with your spouse, a book you pray over and a book you continuously refer to throughout your life.
I highly recommend getting a hardcover copy of you can so that it can truly stand the test of time.
All in all a really great book on practical relationship wisdom and perspective to have for marriage.
Only knocks I have was his positive use of the term “complain” to your spouse. He should use a different word there. His theology on male headship and order of creation I would say go against historical Christian understanding.
This is the best marriage book I have ever read. Every person I know would benefit from Pastor Jimmy’s amazing insight into the Biblical model for love, relationships, and marriage. You won’t be able to put it down!
Enjoy this book because it's scripture base It made the scriptures come alive for me. Excellent talking points With your spouse while reading the book. I did not like the end of the book. I would have liked a wrap up or conclusion.
I loved reading this book. Jimmy does a great job in laying out simple yet very illusive ideas on marriage. I love that it was an easy read and it was full of practical advice!
I started reading this in a time I really needed help figuring out how to move forward. Many of the things in this book have give me new ideas on how to do that and will help us build a stronger relationship with each other and God.
I recommend all of Jimmy's stuff. His teachings on marriage are spot on. He gets it after he and his wife nearly divorced years ago. A wise friend just told me, and it's true, "You will only get out of this what you want to."
This book was very good and just what I needed . I need the Holy Spirit to teach me how to be a husband, a husband who loves his wife like Christ loves the church. I highly recommend this book to all married couples. Four stars for sure.
Real talk on real issues. Jam packed with the biblical principles to build a lasting foundation for marriage. Pointed comments delivered in a non judgy/stuffy manner. A MUST READ