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On Drugs
A memoir of intoxication like no other, On Drugs explores Chris Fleming’s experience of drug addiction, which begins while he is a student before escalating into a life-threatening compulsion.
A philosopher by training, Fleming combines meticulous observation of his life with a keen sense of the absurdity of his actions. He describes the intricacies of drug use and acquisition, their impact on the intellect and emotions, and the chaos that emerges as his tightly managed existence unravels into arrests, hospitalisations and family breakdown. His account is accompanied by searching reflections on his childhood, during which he developed acute obsessive compulsive disorder and became fixated on martial arts, music-making and bodybuilding.
In confronting the pathos and comedy of drug use, On Drugs also opens out into meditations on the self and its deceptions, on popular culture, religion and mental illness, and the tortuous path to recovery.
‘Philosopher Chris Fleming’s memoir is a searching, considered account of drug and alcohol use and the mechanisms of addiction. Fleming traces his history of marijuana, codeine-based painkillers and alcohol consumption, as his fluctuating control over his drug use ultimately deteriorates….As well as being an engaging writer, Fleming is skilled at pulling a diverse array of academic theory and ideas into his memoir, and making them relevant to his project of understanding addiction.’ — Brad Jefferies, Books+Publishing
A philosopher by training, Fleming combines meticulous observation of his life with a keen sense of the absurdity of his actions. He describes the intricacies of drug use and acquisition, their impact on the intellect and emotions, and the chaos that emerges as his tightly managed existence unravels into arrests, hospitalisations and family breakdown. His account is accompanied by searching reflections on his childhood, during which he developed acute obsessive compulsive disorder and became fixated on martial arts, music-making and bodybuilding.
In confronting the pathos and comedy of drug use, On Drugs also opens out into meditations on the self and its deceptions, on popular culture, religion and mental illness, and the tortuous path to recovery.
‘Philosopher Chris Fleming’s memoir is a searching, considered account of drug and alcohol use and the mechanisms of addiction. Fleming traces his history of marijuana, codeine-based painkillers and alcohol consumption, as his fluctuating control over his drug use ultimately deteriorates….As well as being an engaging writer, Fleming is skilled at pulling a diverse array of academic theory and ideas into his memoir, and making them relevant to his project of understanding addiction.’ — Brad Jefferies, Books+Publishing
- GenresNonfictionMemoir
233 pages, Kindle Edition
Published August 1, 2019
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
August 10, 2019
Memoirs about addiction are... predictable. The beginning, when all seems fine. The descent to the bottom. Hitting the rock bottom, discovering it's possible to dig deeper, repeat. The life-changing event. The redemption arc. Many quotes from Gwyneth Paltrow.
This book isn't like that.
I think the most interesting thing about "On Drugs" (yes, I read more addicts' memoirs than is healthy) is the writer himself. He's smart and privileged. Both those things work against him. An intelligent addict who isn't homeless will come up with many more excuses and reasons why all is fine, even though apparently most people don't have a list of pharmacies and shifts of the clerks so that it's not suspicious that they consume 72 painkillers a day. It's possible to involve philosophy in taking drugs and explain to yourself that [insert philosopher's name] would have approved. The deeper Fleming goes into the rabbit hole, the more times he is caught high or drunk, the more lies, the harder he has to work on his denial... but he feels he can outsmart it. He just doesn't want to quit yet. Very soon. Definitely very soon. Someone as smart as him can't possibly be an addict. That's the shortest summary I'd give to someone who believes that they are too smart to ever get addicted.
From The Guardian: 'One colleague, on hearing I was writing this book, joked that I should make up something “juicy”, like that I smoked crack, almost died and “went through some fancy rehab”. The fact, though I didn’t say as much, was that I did smoke crack, did almost die and had been through a fancy rehab – several times.'
That's the special part. Fleming's rock bottom doesn't involve robbing banks, taking hostages, losing everything – although there are arrests and a progressing family breakdown. He's an academic, a philosopher, a writer (and a good one – I'd say this is a literary memoir, if such a phrase even makes sense). He also suffers from OCD, has been relentlessly bullied as a child, but he found ways to cope with the ingrown feeling of inadequacy. Unfortunately one of those ways involved chemical substances.
I'd recommend this book to anyone who still thinks addiction is a choice, that addicts are simply stupid and weak. It can also be an eye-opening read for people who insist that it's not possible to get addicted to marijuana. (Or Nurofen Plus.)
This book isn't like that.
I think the most interesting thing about "On Drugs" (yes, I read more addicts' memoirs than is healthy) is the writer himself. He's smart and privileged. Both those things work against him. An intelligent addict who isn't homeless will come up with many more excuses and reasons why all is fine, even though apparently most people don't have a list of pharmacies and shifts of the clerks so that it's not suspicious that they consume 72 painkillers a day. It's possible to involve philosophy in taking drugs and explain to yourself that [insert philosopher's name] would have approved. The deeper Fleming goes into the rabbit hole, the more times he is caught high or drunk, the more lies, the harder he has to work on his denial... but he feels he can outsmart it. He just doesn't want to quit yet. Very soon. Definitely very soon. Someone as smart as him can't possibly be an addict. That's the shortest summary I'd give to someone who believes that they are too smart to ever get addicted.
From The Guardian: 'One colleague, on hearing I was writing this book, joked that I should make up something “juicy”, like that I smoked crack, almost died and “went through some fancy rehab”. The fact, though I didn’t say as much, was that I did smoke crack, did almost die and had been through a fancy rehab – several times.'
That's the special part. Fleming's rock bottom doesn't involve robbing banks, taking hostages, losing everything – although there are arrests and a progressing family breakdown. He's an academic, a philosopher, a writer (and a good one – I'd say this is a literary memoir, if such a phrase even makes sense). He also suffers from OCD, has been relentlessly bullied as a child, but he found ways to cope with the ingrown feeling of inadequacy. Unfortunately one of those ways involved chemical substances.
I'd recommend this book to anyone who still thinks addiction is a choice, that addicts are simply stupid and weak. It can also be an eye-opening read for people who insist that it's not possible to get addicted to marijuana. (Or Nurofen Plus.)
August 19, 2019
Wow.
Fleming is (somewhat secretly) one of the best writers and minds in Australia and ‘On Drugs’ is just brilliant.
This is searching, insightful, compelling, and best of all, funny.
Get on it.
Fleming is (somewhat secretly) one of the best writers and minds in Australia and ‘On Drugs’ is just brilliant.
This is searching, insightful, compelling, and best of all, funny.
Get on it.
December 11, 2019
An intellectually stimulating addiction memoir incorporating discussions of philosophy and literature. I thoroughly enjoyed it despite it being incredibly male dominated in its literary, philosophical and musical references though that might just be a reflection on our obsession with the drunk/high male creative genius. Fleming’s intellectual rationales during his addiction were complex and intriguing. He’s an incredibly talented writer and the prose here is delicious despite some repetition.
May 23, 2021
When I first started reading this book, I found it had the ironic remove that a lot of books about difficult topics have, that I find frustrating though I understand it. What I appreciated was how he eventually interrogated this ironic distance itself. I really got a sense of his personality and I liked him, even the fact that he’s kind of a dick and maybe knows it. He’s a theory bro, which made him insufferable in rehab. But there is plenty I relate to here as well, in my own dysfunction and habits of remove. The book is funny and devastating, but not in a cliched way. I think I’ve explained it badly, but read it! I also liked the bits about masculinity and sexuality and ocd and the 90s and lots of other subjects on the way.
April 6, 2020
Somehow, Fleming manages to anthropomorphise addiction in a way I have never seen done before. He paints a unique picture of a living thing that demands attention like clockwork, a kind of boorish pet who rests after a good feed but will be back come dinner, a brute with teeth that can simultaneously charm and disgust you.
Addiction is something pronged, something that comes with various tendrils that don’t necessarily ever met: the humanness of wanting something, anything; a kind of vanilla addiction to hope, renewal, getting ‘clean’; moralism; humility. Whilst I believe that anybody who has known or loved an addict, or has been (or even is) one themselves will find consolation in On Drugs, I also think it comments on much larger human qualities. What does it mean to be permeable? Or, larger still: what does it mean to be a person?
Addiction is something pronged, something that comes with various tendrils that don’t necessarily ever met: the humanness of wanting something, anything; a kind of vanilla addiction to hope, renewal, getting ‘clean’; moralism; humility. Whilst I believe that anybody who has known or loved an addict, or has been (or even is) one themselves will find consolation in On Drugs, I also think it comments on much larger human qualities. What does it mean to be permeable? Or, larger still: what does it mean to be a person?
January 15, 2023
Wow, this was amazing - beautifully written and harrowing. Fleming has such an interesting mind and you can really tell how much thought, self-reflection and honesty went into making this.
It was a deeply intellectual, insightful and raw look into his life. The recount of Fleming's fall into addiction, mixed with his philosophical musings and use of literature/other philosopher's work was so SO well done. Fleming is clearly incredibly intelligent and it's really reflected in his simultaneously brilliant, funny and heartbreaking memoir.
It was a deeply intellectual, insightful and raw look into his life. The recount of Fleming's fall into addiction, mixed with his philosophical musings and use of literature/other philosopher's work was so SO well done. Fleming is clearly incredibly intelligent and it's really reflected in his simultaneously brilliant, funny and heartbreaking memoir.
April 7, 2020
On Drugs is an exceptional book from a writer who is willing to do the kind of thinking about his own predicament that takes an individual story into something that reaches much, much further. Fleming has a remarkable ability to bring philosophical thought right up against lived experience in a way that is both illuminating and disarming. He is also acutely funny, always delivering a perspective on himself that is shot through with unexpected wit, even at its most distressing. Fleming resists neat conclusions and resolution, cure or solution, always acknowledging the complexity of knowing the self, and the dynamism of a life still being lived. An outstanding book from a fascinating thinker.
August 21, 2020
When you pick up a memoir literally called ‘On Drugs’, the mind immediately jumps to a very specific kind of book. (Hint, it has a yellow/orange cover and Hunter S. Thompson’s name on it).
What you’re likely not expecting is a deeply intelligent and philosophical reflection on addiction, as informed by the author’s lived experience. And naturally so, as it is exceedingly rare to find a book in which you can learn the street names for Ketamine, laugh uproariously over Catholicism quips, brush up on your French philosophy, and contemplate the void all within the space of several pages.
Nothing I say will do it justice. Thoroughly recommend. 4.5 out of 5.
What you’re likely not expecting is a deeply intelligent and philosophical reflection on addiction, as informed by the author’s lived experience. And naturally so, as it is exceedingly rare to find a book in which you can learn the street names for Ketamine, laugh uproariously over Catholicism quips, brush up on your French philosophy, and contemplate the void all within the space of several pages.
Nothing I say will do it justice. Thoroughly recommend. 4.5 out of 5.
May 30, 2020
A highly reflective account of his slide into addiction. I was especially struck by the portrayal of how the over-valuing of his own intellect got in the way of his recovery for such a long time, and the inner shifts that had to occur for him to start moving out of this.
September 12, 2019
Terrific: lucid and insightful.
July 27, 2020
Couldn't put it down... funny, insightful, with philosophical musings and varied literary references; the most sophisticated piece of work about addiction I've had the pleasure of reading.
January 7, 2021
Beautifully written harrowing drug memoir that's also a portrait of Sydney through the last few decades. A philosopher reluctantly learns that he can't think his way beyond feelings.
December 18, 2019
I really got a lot out of this read, it is a very thoughtfully written book. Chris Flemming has such an interesting mind, he articulated a lot of things I have experienced but never put the words too. I had a lot of moments where I really related and other moments where I didn't relate but felt I understood his point of view.
You should all read this.
You should all read this.
May 16, 2020
The first chapter of this book, really drew me in description of authors addiction to Nurofen Plus. In this chapter I could draw parallels to somone who I knew personally with a similar issue. This book is very high quality. I did however struggle with some of the philosophies discussed throughout the book, however that does not detract from the quality of the book.
January 26, 2022
A powerfully honest read that dives head first into the realities of addiction and mental health, both of which have been depicted in their full light, with no details left hidden. This is not a glorified story of hope and positivity, it is a true break down of how these tragically common topics can take over one’s life. Fleming’s soul gripping and at times heart wrenching memoir is a captivating and eye opening read. Addiction and mental health are real issues and they affect real people in very real ways.
October 12, 2022
On Drugs is an incredible read. Prof. Fleming sets out to do atleast three things:
1. Write the memoir of a precocisously intelligent young(ish) man
2. Elaborate on the sub-culture of drug addicts and peddlers
3. Articulate the phenomonology of being high, crashing down, and the increasing solipsism of the drug addict
The first two strands are a lot of fun (not sure if that's the right word in the context of the subject but he really made it a pleasurable read) because Prof. Fleming comes across as intelligent, self-effacing, interesting, well-read, well-meaning and funny. But mostly the book's an absolute must read because of the third strand, where I was overawed by his ability to hold onto amorphous thoughts and feelings, and find a way to not just transcribe them but to place them in a larger context. This is the work of not just a sharp mind but a mind also enamoured by it's own brilliance and occasionally wary of it.
1. Write the memoir of a precocisously intelligent young(ish) man
2. Elaborate on the sub-culture of drug addicts and peddlers
3. Articulate the phenomonology of being high, crashing down, and the increasing solipsism of the drug addict
The first two strands are a lot of fun (not sure if that's the right word in the context of the subject but he really made it a pleasurable read) because Prof. Fleming comes across as intelligent, self-effacing, interesting, well-read, well-meaning and funny. But mostly the book's an absolute must read because of the third strand, where I was overawed by his ability to hold onto amorphous thoughts and feelings, and find a way to not just transcribe them but to place them in a larger context. This is the work of not just a sharp mind but a mind also enamoured by it's own brilliance and occasionally wary of it.
September 28, 2025
"What I found odd on looking at [Marcus Aurelius's Meditations] was the enormous amount of redundancy in the text [...] Mostly the way I've thought about knowledge privileges novelty. Why, if I knew something, would I need it repeated, unless I was trying to memorise it for an exam? [...] But here, in this famous work of philosophy - as in many such ancient works - this wasn't the case."
A frank, philosophical, and lucid perspective on addition, from the point of view of one less-than-usual addict, On Drugs is a fascinating read. Fleming's focus on the details and practical logistics of his drug dependence was utterly absorbing, if only for the way it so closely mirrored my own way of thinking, and, being familiar with the setting, I enjoyed being able to place each of the events as described not only in time, but physically, in the geography of Sydney. Fleming has produced an intelligent, rich work of memoir.
A frank, philosophical, and lucid perspective on addition, from the point of view of one less-than-usual addict, On Drugs is a fascinating read. Fleming's focus on the details and practical logistics of his drug dependence was utterly absorbing, if only for the way it so closely mirrored my own way of thinking, and, being familiar with the setting, I enjoyed being able to place each of the events as described not only in time, but physically, in the geography of Sydney. Fleming has produced an intelligent, rich work of memoir.
February 2, 2020
Too much French but otherwise decent and an engaging read. Examines the author's experience of addiction and drug use in what seems an even-handed way and without unnecessary moralising. As well as literary merit, potentially also of some value to people working or living with addicts.
February 3, 2020
This book is about the minutiae of consuming drugs - addiction - from the perspective of the kind of drug user who usually “passes”. Someone smart, middle class, who doesn’t rob houses, or go on six day benders, just quietly works out how to casually down 96 Nurofen Plus in two handfuls after silently popping them from their blister packs in his pocket. Yep, one of the people who ruined them for everyone in Australia with a nationwide codeine ban from 1 February 2018. No, I’m not bitter. Just a bit bored. On Drugs reminded me of how bloody boring it is to spend your whole day focused on getting your next hit. It’s no way to live, but obviously not how you see it at the time. You’re too involved in the thrill of the chase to score, the meticulous pleasure of consumption, the inevitable shortage, the lies, always the lies.
August 11, 2019
This is a terrifyingly brilliant memoir - funny, articulate, and heartbreaking. It's like no other drug memoir I've ever read. In my humble view, it's destined to become a classic.
January 28, 2020
Some very witty writing and a real insight into addiction. I didn't like the final third of the book and did not like the author himself so 4 stars only
December 28, 2025
A well written book. Although the intellectualising at times left me wrestling with what was meant.
An amazing struggle to actually come out of. It was really remarkable that he was able to turn his life around after such a horrendous addiction. I don’t think I would have made it through that level of addiction to alcohol (a drug) and drugs. And how he carried on his career is still a mystery to me.
Recommend, but not a light read.
An amazing struggle to actually come out of. It was really remarkable that he was able to turn his life around after such a horrendous addiction. I don’t think I would have made it through that level of addiction to alcohol (a drug) and drugs. And how he carried on his career is still a mystery to me.
Recommend, but not a light read.
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews