Raising Your Spirited Baby: A Breakthrough Guide for You and Your Child to Thrive Despite the Shrieks and Struggles to Sleep

by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka

“Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, Ed.D., brings her expertise in raising spirited children to help you understand and soothe your spirited baby. Her research-based, parent-tested strategies will help your baby sleep better and develop a calmer, more resilient brain and nervous system.” —Dr. Laura Markham, founder of AhaParenting.com, and author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids

From the beloved bestselling author whose award-winning parenting books have sold over 1 million copies—an indispensable guide to the unique needs of Spirited Infants™. 




Does your baby bursts into tears when another baby in the same situation sleeps soundly?

Do the strategies your friends swear by not work with your baby?

Do the upsets and shrieking come out of seemingly nowhere and take forever to subside?


Moms and dads who answer “yes,” are the parents of a spirited infant. Spirited infants are the outliers—the exceptions to the “rules.” They are genetically wired to be alert and intense. Raising them takes special skills and patient perseverance.

In this groundbreaking new book, beloved parenting expert Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, Ed.D., offers her findings in the fields of neuroscience, sleep, temperament, self-regulation, attachment, and parent-child interactions, and shares what she has learned from hands-on experiences with families to bring this much-needed perspective to the parenting of babies under eighteen months of age, including:


A plan for success with the 5-step Spirited Baby™ Methodology 
How to master the “NUDGE” approach to help your baby thrive
Parental Permissions – practical advice for parents to help them make sure their needs are met
Resources to ensure the whole family unit finds balance and happiness 
Raising Your Spirited Baby is a shame-free, guilt-free how-to handbook that will be embraced by parents—and everyone who supports them—as a simple, trusted companion. 

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction

256 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 8, 2020

About the author

Mary Sheedy Kurcinka is a best-selling author and internationally recognized lecturer and parent educator. Her books Raising Your Spirited Child, Raising Your Spirited Child Workbook; Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles; and Sleepless in America: Is Your Child Misbehaving or Missing Sleep have been translated into ten languages.

As director of parentchildhelp.com, Mary provides training nationally and internationally for families and professionals, including medical personnel, educators, and social service providers who serve families. Licensed as a parent educator and early childhood teacher, she has pioneered efforts to bring topics such as temperament, neurobiology, the importance of sleep, and emotion coaching into homes, schools, medical practices, and businesses. She is as comfortable as a keynote speaker for major professional conferences as she is working one on one with families in their homes or teachers in their classrooms.

Known for her real-life examples, Mary links research-based information with typical challenging behaviors and provides practical solutions that really work. Her presentations have helped hundreds of thousands of parents and professionals to understand children better, and themselves as well.

Born on a third-generation dairy farm, Mary lives with her husband in St. Paul, Minnesota. She is the proud mother of one son and one daughter — now adults with whom she loves to spend time.

Reviews

[Julia Hackman · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was the most helpful parenting book I’ve read so far. As the mom of a high needs girly, each phase is uniquely hard, and very few people understand. It was so validating to hear that there are other highly sensitive babies out there and lots of strategies just for them. Wish I read this a year ago! Here’s to less mom judgement and more grace.

[Kaia Preus · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is empowering, non-judgmental, and truly helpful—no doubt for all parents, but especially for those of us with a spirited baby. Because my baby is so serious, I did not think when starting this book that he could be described as “spirited,” but now I know that he most definitely is. He is highly observant and sensitive, drawn to activity, and easily overstimulated. He craves physical contact and I often worried that others would question my choices to respond to his cries quickly, hold him pretty much all day, or nurse to sleep, to name a few. This book has helped me develop the courage to listen to my instincts and pay attention to where my baby is at now and what he needs, knowing I can listen to him to figure out his developmental pace and support him with techniques that feel natural, not forceful. I also appreciated how realistic and culturally responsive this book was in regard to bed-sharing and ideas about sleep-training. I honestly loved this book because it was so celebratory of babies who are MORE and require more work from their caregivers. It has made me feel strong and capable and reminded me that I am in tune with my baby and his needs.

[Heidi Dumke · Rating 5 out of 5]

I did this as an audiobook and had to get the printed version. YAY for spiral versions so I can nerd out. As a first-time mom, I did my best to scour the internet for websites, influencers, etc., and see what many, many people had to say about feeding, sleeping, and responding to behaviors. The thing is, I learned that programs and schedules have often been designed by medical professionals (nurses in particular who have shifts to attend to) as well as people working with more easy-temperament babies. That's fine, but you can imagine how nuts I was trying to figure things out at various times.

After discovering the spirited baby world, I now feel much more empowered to understand my little girl and be a problem solver. It's truly remarkable how the things that make her spirited (ahem, a lot to work through daily) also make her highly alert, curious, determined, and strong-willed.

I look forward to learning more from related materials and seeing how this all unfolds as she continues to grow!

[Brittin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was looking for some books on sleep support and this one popped up. I was curious about the idea of a spirited baby, though I'm not sure if my LO is one. I think "Raising Your Spirited Child" likely would have been a more relevant read as quite a bit of this book focused on the early months. There was some helpful info here and I find most parenting books have something to offer. I appreciated it's emphasis on reframing and remembering we are parents aren't alone.

I did not enjoy the narrator...she sounded like she was computer generated.

Audiobook: 8h 20m

[Mel Secor · Rating 5 out of 5]

⭐️ 5/5 ⭐️ I wish I could travel back in time and hand this to myself when my daughter was a newborn. It would have saved me a LOT of stress. So many parenting books do not take normal infant development or temperament into account when offering solutions. This book recognizes that no one approach will work for every family, and that is okay! I feel validated, comforted, and more importantly this book helped me trust myself as a parent. It also offers great advice for many different aspects of parenting and ideas on how to help parents and babies thrive! It’s a great read for any parent but a must read for parents of spirited babies.

[Leah · Rating 5 out of 5]

My baby was driving me up the wall with multiple daily meltdowns. During another desperate internet search, I came across this book and decided to give it a go. From the sample alone I knew this book was the help I needed. Did it give me instant fixes? No, but it did give me validation, understanding, and a simple road map to steering my little one and myself into the “Green Zone of Calm Energy”. I had tried everything I read online and even reached out to friends, strangers, my midwife, our pediatrician & a sleep coach to no avail. The only thing that actually helped was the advice on taking teeny tiny steps found in this book. It took time to get where we are today, but there were immediate improvements in the meltdowns, nap time, unswaddled sleep, fussiness, everything. Please give this book a read if you’re in need of help!

[Dani Malawista · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I had discovered this book a year ago. My daughter is definitely “spirited”. She was always on the move in the womb. And when she arrived, everyone always commented on how alert she was. She’s a force to be reckon with and sleep is a nightmare but I appreciate the way this book helps me give myself grace. It validates me that we are indeed working harder than most parents. And it gives me hope through nudging that we will get to a good place with her sleep eventually. There’s a lot in the book and I appreciate the pdf handout. I’ll definitely read her book on raising spirited children next. This book was for babies to 18 months and my daughter is currently 16 months. But still time to practice some things I’ve learned!

[Sally Ann · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book I wish I’d read when my baby was a newborn! Great for anyone who wonders why “what works for everyone else” just doesn’t work for their baby. Some of this advice I figured out on my own through trial by fire, but I appreciate the science and research Dr. Mary provides to understand spirited babies. While my baby is now past the target age range for this book (0-18 months), it was encouraging to feel “normal” and learn a few new strategies we can still implement. Looking forward to reading her earlier work “Raising Your Spirited Child” for more guidance as he grows.

[Sophia Boren · Rating 5 out of 5]

A helpful book for anyone with kids or working with kids. I think this book is applicable through the younger years, and also may be a way of understanding, teaching coping strategies to adults. My own children are in the toddler years and I found this book helpful. Overall a great book with many tools and thoughts to strengthen resilience while validating young spirits and minds, and also stabilizing relationships. I highly recommend this book.

[Becca · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish I could give this a 3.5. Some of the advice feels unrealistic for my circumstances but some feels unrealistic in America in general (childcare providers are not going to be able to follow every child's special schedule when each person is expected to care for four infants simultaneously). It was, however, helpful to hear validation about unique challenges based on a baby's temperament and to reframe things from the baby's perspective.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great and informative book.

Must read for parents whose baby is just a little different and more alert than the rest. This book gave me confidence and reassurance that the things that I was intuitively doing for my very spirited baby were correct.

I ignored most of the sleep recommendations just for personal preference.

[Raquel · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must have for anyone with a very active and intense baby! Within the first few chapters I was able to practice techniques that have already begun to improve baby’s sleep, mood, and my understanding of our baby boy!

[Alanna Crochetiere · Rating 3 out of 5]

Probably best to read and not listen to, to be able to get the most out of it. I still felt validated on a lot of things and picked up some good tricks. A good reminder of a helping mindset when raising a spirited child.

[Ema · Rating 4 out of 5]

Notes:
P: good set of tools for new parents especially on cues
P: encouraging for parents with “spirited” babies and how they differ from more relaxed babies
N: it really could have been much shorter, there’s too much to dredge through for a parent limited on time

[Jac · Rating 1 out of 5]

Clearly describes the challenges, but the proposed solutions aren’t helpful at all. “Keep a journal” “seek support for yourself” “be patient”

[Rachelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars.

Insightful and informative.

[alicebme]

Had a look at this because my library didn’t have the child version, and this one is newer. Enough here to be interested in the child version.

[Alyssa]

Some good ideas to think on and consider integrating in your routine.

[Oleksandra Petrenko · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great intro into raising a baby with a “character” would recommend to a first-time parent

[Rosie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kurcinka has some great ideas, insight, and advice. I really liked this book - we'll see if I still love it this much after trying some of her ideas out!

[Caitlin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Made me feel like I’m not going insane for once. Wish this could be prescribed at the first signs of postnatal depression for parents of highly alert babies.

[Aubrey Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Empowering and actionable advice that isn't overwhelming or feels like a daunting mountain to climb. One of my favorite parenting books I have read.