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Das Schluss-mit-dem-Eiertanz-Arbeitsbuch: Für Angehörige von Menschen mit Borderline
Ihrem Erfolgsbuch »Schluss mit dem Eiertanz« hat Randi Kreger ein Arbeitsbuch folgen lassen, das nun in deutscher Übersetzung vorliegt. Es ist eine hervorragende Ergänzung zum Ratgeber, weil hier Tests und Übungen zusammengestellt wurden, die zum einen dabei helfen, das eigene Verhalten besser zu erkennen, zum anderen Alternativen bieten zu eingefahrenen Mustern im Umgang miteinander. Es soll »Verstand und Gefühl miteinander zu verbinden«, schreibt Randi Kreger. »Dieses Arbeitsbuch wird Ihnen helfen, sich innerlich ein Stück weit zu entfernen, um den »Tanz« mit dem Borderliner aus der Distanz so zu sehen, wie er wirklich ist. Dies verlangt von Ihnen, sowohl Ihr Verhalten wie das Ihres Angehörigen zu beobachten und schädliche Muster zu identifizieren. Sie werden erkennen, wie es kommt, dass der Borderliner beim Tanzen »führt« und Sie, so gut es geht, folgen, und zwar rückwärts. Sie werden lernen, wie Sie eigene, weniger schädliche »Tanzschritte« initiieren können - das heißt beginnen, im eigenen Interesse und dem Ihrer Familie zu handeln, statt Lebensumstände zu tolerieren, über die Sie keine Kontrolle haben. Als erwachsener Mensch können Sie das Leben in Ihrem Sinne und im Sinne Ihrer Familie gestalten. Sie können nicht nur reagieren, sondern auch agieren.« Aktive Mitarbeit ist bei diesem Buch natürlich unerlässlich. Das Arbeitsbuch kann eigenständig gelesen werden, die vorherige Lektüre von »Schluss mit dem Eiertanz« ist aber empfehlenswert.
Randi Kreger ist Schriftstellerin und Borderline-Angehörige. Sie moderiert zahlreiche Internet-Diskussionsgruppen.
Randi Kreger ist Schriftstellerin und Borderline-Angehörige. Sie moderiert zahlreiche Internet-Diskussionsgruppen.
276 pages, Kindle Edition
Published July 1, 2009
129 people are currently reading
364 people want to read
About the author
Randi Kreger
28 books41 followersRandi Kreger is a best-selling author of books about borderline personality disorder. Her site also offers a number of specialized booklets and CDs for family members. The site is also a conduit to her online family support community "Welcome to Oz."
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
August 9, 2015
The blame game doesn't work in any relationship - even ones involving BPD. Best advice to establish and maintain a healthy balance in your relationship? Don't read "Stop Walking on Eggshells".
The Stop Walking on Eggshells books by Kreger are, in my opinion, some of the worst "resources" someone with BPD or a loved one could read. It basically invalidates people with BPD and validates every loved ones actions - not healthy. The book encourages them to challenge the person with BPD, rather than understand and work with them. Someone referred to his these books as "a divorce maker" - it IS that harmful. I don't want to bring them to a used book store, I want to avoid spreading this garbage around, I even have the spines facing the wall on the shelf.
If you are going to read ANY books about BPD, read the Survival Guide by Alex Chapman as an intro to the illness. Follow that up with Loving Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder by Shari Manning. Those books will allow you to understand the illness and provide you with skills and techniques. These skills are highly effective, it isn't only the person with BPD who needs to learn to navigate through life, your loved one needs to learn how to navigate alongside you. That's what every relationship requires, it's just trickier when you're with a person who has BPD - enter Shari Manning's incredible book.
So instead of feeling bad about having a mental illness and reading about what an awful person you are, how horrible your illness is or it informing your spouse that you really are a shitty person who needs to be PUT IN THEIR PLACE, grab those two recommended books AND NEVER LOOK BACK!
The Stop Walking on Eggshells books by Kreger are, in my opinion, some of the worst "resources" someone with BPD or a loved one could read. It basically invalidates people with BPD and validates every loved ones actions - not healthy. The book encourages them to challenge the person with BPD, rather than understand and work with them. Someone referred to his these books as "a divorce maker" - it IS that harmful. I don't want to bring them to a used book store, I want to avoid spreading this garbage around, I even have the spines facing the wall on the shelf.
If you are going to read ANY books about BPD, read the Survival Guide by Alex Chapman as an intro to the illness. Follow that up with Loving Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder by Shari Manning. Those books will allow you to understand the illness and provide you with skills and techniques. These skills are highly effective, it isn't only the person with BPD who needs to learn to navigate through life, your loved one needs to learn how to navigate alongside you. That's what every relationship requires, it's just trickier when you're with a person who has BPD - enter Shari Manning's incredible book.
So instead of feeling bad about having a mental illness and reading about what an awful person you are, how horrible your illness is or it informing your spouse that you really are a shitty person who needs to be PUT IN THEIR PLACE, grab those two recommended books AND NEVER LOOK BACK!
June 25, 2022
This was helpful in some ways and not in others. I think I prefer this shorthanded version instead of the book (although I only skimmed through the book).
The part of this that wasn't helpful is that it's a book that's too broad to be helpful to everyone on every page. The parts that I didn't think were great WOULD be amazing to someone reading this for help with their BPD parent or child, boss or coworker. But even then, sometimes I doubt the advice given. I don't doubt following it could "work" and allow someone to survive abuse and toxicity, but I don't know that that's truly good, healthy advice. Perhaps only the parents reading this to learn about their child need that tactic.
The parts that were helpful for all (me included) are the explanations of BPD, different types/displays of the disorder, and what it takes to "manage" someone with BPD. It was enlightening and reminiscent. Some days it was just what I needed to read and think about.
After reading it, I had learned some and further convinced myself I'd done the right thing.
The part of this that wasn't helpful is that it's a book that's too broad to be helpful to everyone on every page. The parts that I didn't think were great WOULD be amazing to someone reading this for help with their BPD parent or child, boss or coworker. But even then, sometimes I doubt the advice given. I don't doubt following it could "work" and allow someone to survive abuse and toxicity, but I don't know that that's truly good, healthy advice. Perhaps only the parents reading this to learn about their child need that tactic.
The parts that were helpful for all (me included) are the explanations of BPD, different types/displays of the disorder, and what it takes to "manage" someone with BPD. It was enlightening and reminiscent. Some days it was just what I needed to read and think about.
After reading it, I had learned some and further convinced myself I'd done the right thing.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 11, 2024
5+ stars. I cannot recommend this highly enough.
October 9, 2017
Wow! What an amazing resource for anyone who needs a plan of action when dealing with the insanity of borderline and other personality disorders! It addresses: validation of feelings, words and phrases to say, boundaries, acknowledgement of situations, etc...plus many other tools to use from gauging personal emotions to developing an action plan in abusive situations. I highly recommend this book to anyone dealing with toxic relationships!
July 11, 2015
Very helpful in theory, then when it comes to practice, doesn't seem to apply exactly. Good encouragement, though--definitely keeping it handy to read chapters once in a while.
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews