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16 pages, Audible Audio
First published July 31, 2013
I've entered that diminishing enjoyment zone of SADBSC. What's that you ask? Same Author, Different Book, Same Characters.
Beneath the Burn is my fifth foray into the worlds as created by the very talented Pam Godwin, but sadly, I can't bear to read about another grown ass female who chooses to remain a victim while waiting for her white knight in tarnished armour to save her. It's depressing and unimaginative. And that stuff gets old rather quickly.
Don't believe me?
1. Laynee from Incentive, a 40-year-old movie star with a plethora of daddy and past relationship issues. Guess what? She gets saved by 28-year-old Decker.
2. Kaci from Dirty Ties: 38-year old business executive; blackmailed into marrying her gay best friend then endures a decade of incessant sexual harassment from her "father-in-law". Guess who saved her? Yes, Logan/Evader.
3. Then Ivory from Dark Notes, 17, raped countless times by boys at her school and by her brother's best friend, had sex for money because she was dirt poor. Emeric, the rich white music teacher saved her.
4. Liv from Deliver: kidnapped as a child and sold into sex slavery only for her to become a kidnapper and abuser. Guess what? I DNF'd
That brings me to this book, which, unfortunately, is about Charlee, another beautiful woman on the run from a psychotic abusive ex.
Guess what?![]()





“Love is like a series of improbable, lonely notes landing together in meaningful chaos. Where every channel carries a rhythm that conveys an expression of emotion. It doesn't feel flat or fake or hollow. It's not exaggerated with overtones. The complexity might feel organized, but the creation is never controlled.”
She would lock his strength deep inside her, would mimic his steel undercarriage and make it her own.
Life was jaded like that, throwing them together when he couldn’t tolerate affection and she was desperate for it.
‘Dare to be vulnerable with me.’
‘To be trusted by you is the greatest compliment I’ve ever received.’
“I fucking love you. I don’t deserve to love you, but I will spend the rest of my life earning that right. You are my music, do you understand?”
“She’s broken inside.” “Nothing about her is broken. She’s the strongest fucking person you will ever have the privilege of knowing.”Then there is Jay. Jay hits all of my damaged man buttons. He is a beautiful soul who was abused and mistreated and deals with it the only way he knows how. He wants to be better. He wants to overcome his demons. He is a strong character as well. Willing to trust, to try to overcome hurdles he has been dealing with his entire life... it’s a courageous thing to do.
‘More than anything, I want to learn how to bend to your touch without breaking.’
‘Putting your trust in someone is the most vulnerable thing you can do.’
She was his greatest possibility. His reason. His why. He would give whatever she needed to be whole and happy, because loving her was essential as drawing air.


5 Burning Stars


Love is like a series of improbable, lonely notes landing together in meaningful chaos. Where every channel carries a rhythm that conveys an expression of emotion. It doesn't feel flat or fake or hollow. It’s not exaggerated with overtones. The complexity might feel organized, but the creation is never controlled."



For nine years, she didn't know who she could cling to, or if she would ever be able to take that risk, but clinging to Jay felt… elemental. As if deep within him lay the map to emotions she’d lost and maybe some she never experienced. She wouldn't let go. No matter how contagious his pain. If she were tough enough to endure hers, could she shoulder his too?



I want to learn how to bend to your touch without breaking." He stroked his cheek along hers, the rise and fall of his chest intoxicating her. "I want you to touch me inside and out."
Will you walk to me? Will you move so close that the ground wobbles, the walls between us crumble, and your thoughts rip open until we’re melding our fears and hopes as easily as we share air?"

She was his greatest possibility. His reason. His why. He would give whatever she needed to be whole and happy, because her was as essential as drawing air.


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"Putting your trust in someone is the most vulnerable thing you can do."
"I don't know what you're doing to me, Charlee, but whatever it is melts everything else away. It's the best feeling in the world."
"You might be free of your chain, sweetheart, but we both know you aren't really free.
For nine years, she didn't know who she would cling to, or if she would ever be able to take that risk, clinging to Jay felt...elemental. As if deep within him lay the map to emotions...she'd lost and maybe some she never experienced. She wouldn't let go. No matter how contagious his pain. If she were tough enough to endure hers, could she shoulder his too?


Sweet Mother and Holy Batman of Books,
what did I just read....































"You showed me beauty in survival. I'll show you strength in healing."
"That decided it. He would confront the thing that made him like this. He would become a man she could hold, despite his tattered and worn edges."
"You trust me not to put my hands on you, and I trust you not to take my control."
"Putting your trust in someone is the most vulnerable thing you can do... Dare to be vulnerable with me."
"OhmyGod, you're haaaaawt, Jay Maaaaaayard."
Click. Click. Click….
Did a boob just flash in his face?
"I love you, Jayeeeeeee. Looking good. You're so handsome."
No, several boobs. Huge naked boobs… How far away was that damned car? .. More crying. More bouncing nipples.
"I fucking love you. I don't deserve you, but I will spend the rest of my life earning that right. You are my music, do you understand?"
"No matter what happens, no matter where we go from here, we go together."


"You showed me beauty in survival. I'll show you strength in healing."



"I don't know what you're doing to me, Charlee, but whatever it is melts everything else away. It's the best feeling in the world."
"You and I have lived equally lonely lives. I wish we would have had each other growing up."

"Life was jaded like that, throwing them together when he couldn't tolerate affection and she was desperate for it."

"More than anything, I want to learn how to bend to your touch without breaking."

Jay is a tortured hero. He makes mistakes and he isn't perfect but he does his best to become the man Charlee deserves. I really felt for him and the things he had to go through as a child. But in the end, he did come out stronger and with the help of Charlee he fight to overcome his deepest fears.
"For nine years, she didn't know who she could cling to, or if she would ever be able to take that risk, but clinging to Jay felt...elemental. As if deep within him lay the map to emotions she'd lost and maybe some she'd never experienced. She wouldn't let go. No matter how contagious his pain. If she were tough enough to endure hers, could she shoulder his too?"

"It was a known fact that every song slipped in a riff where the chords went to a unique unexpected, place. She was that song, those non-scale chords. Fuck, did he love this girl."




"Love is like a series of improbable, lonely notes landing together in meaningful chaos. Where every channel carries a rhythm that conveys an expression of emotion. It doesn't feel flat or fake or hollow. It's not exaggerated with overtones. The complexity might feel organized, but the creation is never controlled."
"Your pain brought us together."
"You showed me beauty in survival. I'll show you strength in healing."
"You can't control love. It's like creating music."
"Love is like a series of improbably, lonely notes landing together in meaningful chaos."
“I love your scars. They inspire me.” She softened her voice. “I’ve never met another person who has experienced pain like—”
She had a memory of a man with back full of scars. Beneath the superficial damage was a devotion to survival, an instinct to dominate his future. Most probably didn’t see that when they looked at him, but she hadn’t just recognized it, she’d felt it and wanted it. She would lock his strength deep inside her, would mimic his steel undercarriage and make it her own.
How could she let herself want someone so unobtainable? He was a celebrity and she was on the run. He had some kind of fucked up tactile defensiveness and drug issues, and she didn’t have the background or expertise to deal with it.
---
“We are not too fucked up to make this work.” It was a vehement promise. Holding his face, she slid a hand across his shoulder blade and traced the first raised edge she encountered.
“Your pain brought us together.” Tenderness melted his eyes.
“I came to you that night to erase it, so I wouldn’t have to remember.” His cheeks lifted beneath her hand.
“And you gave me something I never want to forget.”














"You gave me something I never want to forget."


"More than anything, I want to learn how to bend to your touch without breaking."

Pound after pound, he took from her.
Flesh. Blood . Tears.

"Huntress of the room in my head.
Fearless and knowing.
Your blue eyes plunder the depths of my song.
Tonight is only the beginning.
Nothing can stop me.
To be who you saw.
To be the steel.
To be yours.
You showed me beauty in survival.
I’ll show you strength in healing."


“… you just used up another one of your nine lives. Problem is, I don’t have nine lives and I fucking die every time you do.”

“Charlee, fuck . Tell me I’m not dreaming . You’re my here , my now, and God, if I’m lucky, my hereafter.”



Charlee’s trauma was front and center for the duration of the book. She experienced ongoing suffering and imprisonment. Charlee survived through awful circumstances and managed to find happiness. There were quite a few times when Charlee had to be strong enough for both her and Jay because he was suffering. Her strength and willpower were awe-inspiring. She was able to love and be loved despite her past and this didn’t seem forced by the author, it seemed like a genuine part of Charlee. She was a pretty kick-ass female character.
Jay was much more of an enigma than Charlee. We knew that he had suffered severe abuse at some point in his childhood but he keeps the details under serious lock and key. When we first meet Jay his band is struggling to break out and he’s trying desperately to hide his past. Charlee helps him see the strength he possesses. After years apart, Jay is no longer the struggling artist she first met but a quintessential rock star with an abundance of fame, money, women, booze, and drugs. His first meeting with Charlee had a profound effect on him and their time apart has an equally noticeable effect. He uses drugs and women to help bury his pain and secrets. We get to watch Jay struggle with who he’s been, who he is and who he wants to be. He makes a valiant effort to become the man he wants to be, a man worthy of Charlee.
This was my first book by Ms. Godwin, and I can't wait to meet some more of her tortured characters. I would suggest it to anyone looking for something that's dark but not too dark, a dark-lite if you will.
I read this book as part of the Sinister Desires anthology