Special: Antidotes to the obsessions that come with a child's disability

by Melanie Dimmitt

Most of us expect to meander through the motions of love, marriage and (textbook) baby in the carriage, but once in a while life has something a little more special in store.
Special is an uplifting, candid companion for those in the early stages of navigating a child’s disability, offering honest, reassuring and relatable insight into a largely unknown (and so, initially terrifying) part of our world.
It features antidotes to the obsessions at the forefront of a newly minted special-needs parent’s mind: Why has this happened to me? Will I ever stop comparing my child to typical children? How will my relationship survive? Will I be able to work again? Should I have another baby? And the big one: What will my future look like?
Inspired by the author’s own crash-landing into special-needs parenthood, and shaped by her conversations with parents of children with wide-ranging disabilities, alongside specialists, psychologists and researchers, Special shares stories, guidance and simple coping strategies to soothe and surprise anyone whose life has taken an unexpected turn.

Genres: Nonfiction, Parenting

300 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 1, 2019

Reviews

[Nic · Rating 4 out of 5]

There are some non-fiction books out there that really open your eyes to a topic you know nothing about, and this is one of those books for me.

This book is mainly targeted at new parents of children with a disability, to help prepare them for the struggles and ups and downs of raising a child living with a disability in a world where we’re still not as equipped for it as we should be. Because of this, there were some parts that weren’t really relevant to me. However, reading as someone who’d just like to know more about the topic, I found it really informative and eye opening.

Melanie Dimmitt’s writing is incredible. Literally on the same page, I’m laughing one second and tearing up the next. I know that if I was faced with the reality of raising a special-needs child, I would want this book to be my bible. I found it so refreshing that she writes in a really natural and down-to-earth way, not veering away from using swear words, because to be honest I think ‘fuck’ is a common thought in any new parent’s head.

I’m so thankful to this book for giving me knowledge about this topic, which is a major part of so many Australians’ lives. I urge everyone to pick this one up and at the very least have a flick through and get some insight into the lives of these remarkable parents. I’m so thankful I read this one.

[Rachel Thacher · Rating 5 out of 5]

Holy moly. This is the book I’ve been waiting for. I savored this by reading it and sitting with what I had read but then also zoomed through it whenever I was ready to learn again!!!

As a mama to a child with special needs, this book made me laugh out loud and weep. It challenged me to step beyond these chaotic first years of diagnosis after diagnosis and therapy after therapy into what more there will be in the future and to even value these first years that are truly sacred. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more validated in my life. Truly. This will be a must read for me over and over again.

If you so desire and you are not a mama of a child with special needs, I recommend this for you to even become aware of what parenting a child with disabilities can be like. It is lengthy and a bit shocking with language a couple of times but overall rich with information.

LOVE LOVE LOVE. What a gift. ♥️

[Mariah · Rating 5 out of 5]

If I could give this book a thousand stars I would. Dimmitt talks about the scary things that some people just gloss over, and is somehow real and honest, yet hopeful and uplifting at the same time. I would 10000% recommend this book to anyone with a child with a new diagnosis, or even an old one. I might even recommend this book for family or friends of people with children with disabilities or anyone who would like to get a glimpse into the struggles parents of children with disabilities go through. Can't wait to read this book again and again ❤️

[Jess Etheridge · Rating 4 out of 5]

Recommended by another mom of a kid with a severe genetic disorder. I appreciated how the author, a mom of a boy with quadriplegic CP, says things most of us moms have thought but don’t want to say out loud. She normalizes the grief, fears and anxieties but also interviews hundreds of families who are living the day to day with disability and finding joy and surprise gifts. It’s hopeful without cliche positivity.

[Sarah Wakeford · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book that I didn’t know I needed to read. It was recommended to me from another mum with a child with CP. It took me a while to read as I felt I was reading everything I was thinking and it got a bit overwhelming but we got there. It normalises everything you’re feeling even the crappy thoughts. I would recommend this book to anyone with a child with a disability navigating the world on your child terms.

[Gabrielle Geddes · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a really interesting insight into what the parents of my students go through in the early stages of their life and diagnosis. My one issue was that Dimmitt chose to use language throughout that didn't sit well with me and despite acknowledging that, I don't think it's a good choice to market this book as a guide for parents with newly disabled children and still be using outdated language.

[Andrée-Anne Racine · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very valuable insight into this special club that no parent initially wants to be a part of. A great read to show the way in case you have to take your first steps in this path of supporting a special needs child.

[Alyssa · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I first read this book, I was distraught, sad, grieving. I didn't even have my daughter's diagnosis at the time, but I knew it was coming. I was desperately searching for something, anything, that would validate how I was feeling, and reassure me that everything would turn out OK. (And at the time, what OK meant to me was completely different than what OK is now). And then this book came along, knocked me on my ass, and held me so tenderly. This book was the single piece of hope I needed at that time. It validated everything I was feeling - guilt, sadness, grief, loneliness. And then it gave me reassurance that I wasn't alone. So many parents before me felt exactly what I felt. And not only that... they were thriving. They had joy. They had purpose and meaning. And it gave me hope that I would have that one day too.

2 years later, I am rereading this book, and it's hitting me just slightly different this time. Again, I feel validated that everything I went through was normal, and I wasn't a bad mom for feeling those thoughts. But now I look back and see that I too, am the other parents in this book. My family is thriving. My daughter brings me an immense amount of joy. Yes, she has tough days that are draining for all of us, but she brings me so much fulfillment, it makes those days easy to forget. I have a renewed purpose, and I have skills that I've borrowed from this book to help cope when the grief makes an unwanted appearance.

When I have a friend who is going through a similar experience with their kid, this is the first book that I recommend they read. Because they are not alone, and they will one day be full of joy and love, and be a part of the secret society.

[Megan Schneider · Rating 5 out of 5]

An incredible book that is a must read for all disability, parents, grandparents, and friends. I rarely highlight books and I could not stop. There are so many aspects that I never wanted to forget one of my favorite parts is the letter that she writes - with the dos and do nota of talking to someone with a disability. It’s perfect and so appropriate. I feel so at peace after reading this book.

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I stumbled upon this book on social media and I’m soooo glad I did! It is so readable and relatable and I could just sing Melanie’s praises. She is what everyone needs, or at least exactly what I needed. Will be re-reading this one for sure!

[Kristen Dixon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I cannot recommend this book highly enough to parents and guardians of children with exceptionalities. We often struggle with fear and feel isolated. I shared all my Kindle highlights of the excerpts that were especially poignant for me. The wisdom imparted in this volume magnified my pride in my son and allowed me to make huge strides in my personal happiness.

[Rofida · Rating 5 out of 5]

An Eye-opening.

[Bethany · Rating 5 out of 5]

Interesting and inspiring.

[Erin Willson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Audiobook

[Ash · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this as I was coming to terms with my son's CP diagnosis and it was such a source of encouragement. I would absolutely recommend it to anyone in this position.

[Tricia · Rating 4 out of 5]

*language

[Marilie van Rooyen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I will forever be thankful for the perspective this book has given me