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柔韌：善良非軟弱，堅強非霸道，成為職場中溫柔且堅定的存在
給有企圖心、想成功但不想在過程中迷失自己的女性。本書作者證明女性不需犧牲其價值觀或隱藏自己的性格特質才能獲得成功，堅強與友善是能夠並存的，和善地與他人保持良好的合作關係，才是得到他人支持最好的方式。
★2018年亞馬遜最佳商業選書★2018年最佳商業有聲書★《時人》雜誌與Refinery29最佳新書提名★2018年Goodreads評分最高的職涯書之一★女性富比士Boss Moves讀書會選書★2018年《商業內幕》最佳商業領導書前十名★2018年《Inc.》雜誌最鼓舞人心的書之一★亞馬遜網站4.8顆星高度推薦★《紐約郵報》、《富比士》、《哈芬登郵報》一致推薦
【內容簡介】
本書作者法蘭·豪瑟重新詮釋了許多女性在職場上因為「親切和善」所面臨到的掙扎：如果人很好，就會被視為軟弱或沒效率，但如果表現得比較強硬，就會被貼上機車女的標籤。許多女性為了能在職場上占有一席之地，常選擇用強勢嚴肅的表現，來掩飾自己和藹可親的一面。但法蘭告訴我們，女性本質中的那份友善親切，才是女性最得力的武器。透過分享個人經驗與歷經時間淬煉的策略，法蘭展現了如何排除過往對堅強領導者的刻板印象，重新當個「人很好」的人。法蘭的建議易於實行，加上過往
★2018年亞馬遜最佳商業選書★2018年最佳商業有聲書★《時人》雜誌與Refinery29最佳新書提名★2018年Goodreads評分最高的職涯書之一★女性富比士Boss Moves讀書會選書★2018年《商業內幕》最佳商業領導書前十名★2018年《Inc.》雜誌最鼓舞人心的書之一★亞馬遜網站4.8顆星高度推薦★《紐約郵報》、《富比士》、《哈芬登郵報》一致推薦
【內容簡介】
本書作者法蘭·豪瑟重新詮釋了許多女性在職場上因為「親切和善」所面臨到的掙扎：如果人很好，就會被視為軟弱或沒效率，但如果表現得比較強硬，就會被貼上機車女的標籤。許多女性為了能在職場上占有一席之地，常選擇用強勢嚴肅的表現，來掩飾自己和藹可親的一面。但法蘭告訴我們，女性本質中的那份友善親切，才是女性最得力的武器。透過分享個人經驗與歷經時間淬煉的策略，法蘭展現了如何排除過往對堅強領導者的刻板印象，重新當個「人很好」的人。法蘭的建議易於實行，加上過往
162 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 17, 2018
About the author
Fran Hauser
8 books117 followersFran Hauser is a bestselling author, keynote speaker, former media executive, leading career expert, and champion of women in the workplace. Fran is the author of two books for professional women striving to create careers they love while staying true to themselves: The Myth of the Nice Girl, which has been translated into eight languages and earned the prestigious title of "Best Business Book of the Year, 2018" by Audible, and Embrace the Work, Love Your Career, which has become the go-to curriculum for women’s affinity groups nationwide. Fran is a sought-after women’s empowerment speaker, having spoken at over 200 organizations. As a former Fortune 500 executive and active start-up investor - who has funded over 30 female-founded companies - Fran’s insights have appeared in media outlets such as Fortune, CNBC, Fast Company, and Business Insider. She lives outside NYC with her husband, two sons, and beloved mini Goldendoodle.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 452 reviews
March 24, 2018
I absolutely loved this book! It felt like I had a mentor speaking to me and guiding me to behaviors that would strengthen me. I have felt for a long time that I do not have issues holding my own in conversations or presenting and discussing information.
As I read The Myth of the Nice Girl, a couple things came to mind, first that I am very fortunate to work for a mega-company that has built its brand on diversity and spends quite a bit of time and capital recruiting minorities, including women. What this book reminded me is that the vast majority of people, women in particular, are not so fortunate and work for organizations that may not consciously have bias but do, in practice, at least unconsciously hold different standards for women and minorities.
The second thing that came to mind is that I do not do as well under all circumstances as I do in others, and I also am reluctant to assert myself sometimes, or apologize for doing so. Fran Hauser illustrated this and got me to see myself a little more objectively in that regard.
To keep this review from becoming too lengthy for you to enjoy reading, I want to mention one last thing, and that is that I look at many books as tools thus do not find it a crime to annotate or leave other signs of them having been read. A habit I have is that on a page with a favorite thought or passage, I will make a tiny dog ear so I can go back later and thumb through and find exactly what I was looking for easily. The Myth of the Nice Girl: Achieving a Career You Love Without Becoming a Person You Hate by Fran Hauser wins the dog ear contest! More than a third of the pages have folded corners. When I say I loved it I mean it!
As I read The Myth of the Nice Girl, a couple things came to mind, first that I am very fortunate to work for a mega-company that has built its brand on diversity and spends quite a bit of time and capital recruiting minorities, including women. What this book reminded me is that the vast majority of people, women in particular, are not so fortunate and work for organizations that may not consciously have bias but do, in practice, at least unconsciously hold different standards for women and minorities.
The second thing that came to mind is that I do not do as well under all circumstances as I do in others, and I also am reluctant to assert myself sometimes, or apologize for doing so. Fran Hauser illustrated this and got me to see myself a little more objectively in that regard.
To keep this review from becoming too lengthy for you to enjoy reading, I want to mention one last thing, and that is that I look at many books as tools thus do not find it a crime to annotate or leave other signs of them having been read. A habit I have is that on a page with a favorite thought or passage, I will make a tiny dog ear so I can go back later and thumb through and find exactly what I was looking for easily. The Myth of the Nice Girl: Achieving a Career You Love Without Becoming a Person You Hate by Fran Hauser wins the dog ear contest! More than a third of the pages have folded corners. When I say I loved it I mean it!
July 6, 2018
"Just so we are clear, don't mistake my kindness for stupidity." - Kat Cole
I must admit that when I started reading The Myth of the Nice Girl, I wasn't sure that I was going to get much out of it. It initially felt a bit lightweight and fluffy. But the more I read, the more I started taking notes, and the more inspiring/helpful I found it.
Fran Hauser shares challenging moments and lessons from her own stellar career as well as anecdotes from her friends and people she's worked with to help you better navigate the world of work as a woman. (Although, frankly, a lot of the advice is not just applicable to women.) She deftly balances between giving you theory and actionable steps. I ended up making a ton of highlights and bookmarks in my ebook as it was packed with useful information. Even better, I think it will not only help me personally, but also as someone who manages and mentors others.
I liked it so much, it made my list of 6 Books That Every Career Woman Should Read.
I must admit that when I started reading The Myth of the Nice Girl, I wasn't sure that I was going to get much out of it. It initially felt a bit lightweight and fluffy. But the more I read, the more I started taking notes, and the more inspiring/helpful I found it.
Fran Hauser shares challenging moments and lessons from her own stellar career as well as anecdotes from her friends and people she's worked with to help you better navigate the world of work as a woman. (Although, frankly, a lot of the advice is not just applicable to women.) She deftly balances between giving you theory and actionable steps. I ended up making a ton of highlights and bookmarks in my ebook as it was packed with useful information. Even better, I think it will not only help me personally, but also as someone who manages and mentors others.
I liked it so much, it made my list of 6 Books That Every Career Woman Should Read.
July 17, 2018
Read the full review at our blog
This book came up in my goodreads feed and the subtitle 'achieving the career you love without becoming the person you hate' really drew me into the book.
The author Franc Hauser had started her career at a huge accounting firm, then moved to media and is now a mentor and start-up investor. She felt the need for this book based on her own experiences in the real world on how to be nice and successful at work. It is not easy but comes with conscious practice. After all, who would want to work with a heartless task master? At the same time, you wouldn't want others to mistake your being nice for stupidity or weakness.
The book is about being “nice” at work and nice is defined as being considerate, genuinely kind and respectful towards others but not being a people pleaser or a doormat. The nine chapters of the book are the author’s experiences in working with people right from her early career up to and including her current pursuit as. She has described various situations which presented themselves to her and how she kept her cool and made her point, without being come across as being a … um, the term rhymes with the word hitch. She had successfully come out of these sticky situations most times; at other times, she had learnt something valuable. She shares both kinds of experiences and the tactic or the learning from each one.
Read the full review at our blog
This book came up in my goodreads feed and the subtitle 'achieving the career you love without becoming the person you hate' really drew me into the book.
The author Franc Hauser had started her career at a huge accounting firm, then moved to media and is now a mentor and start-up investor. She felt the need for this book based on her own experiences in the real world on how to be nice and successful at work. It is not easy but comes with conscious practice. After all, who would want to work with a heartless task master? At the same time, you wouldn't want others to mistake your being nice for stupidity or weakness.
The book is about being “nice” at work and nice is defined as being considerate, genuinely kind and respectful towards others but not being a people pleaser or a doormat. The nine chapters of the book are the author’s experiences in working with people right from her early career up to and including her current pursuit as. She has described various situations which presented themselves to her and how she kept her cool and made her point, without being come across as being a … um, the term rhymes with the word hitch. She had successfully come out of these sticky situations most times; at other times, she had learnt something valuable. She shares both kinds of experiences and the tactic or the learning from each one.
Read the full review at our blog
December 26, 2018
Hmm. This was a little bit of a pickle for me.
On one hand, I really liked the author's absolute rejection that women should try to embody a completely different persona just to get ahead--"pretend to be someone you're not" is the essential message most women get when advised about leadership, and it's fucking grating and 100% WRONG. Having a book that addresses the topic of leading with the force of your own character, not someone else's character, or someone else's idea of what a "tough" leader looks like, is a refreshing thing to see in books targeted towards young, professional women. To be frank, all of this advice could be taken by men as well, considering that men are under a lot of pressure to live up to the "macho" leadership stereotype. I would love to have some of my male colleagues and superiors read this just to get it through their thick heads that berating people doesn't make you tough. I also thought that the chapter on mentoring and being mentored was especially helpful, and something that I hadn't thought about before. Highly recommend this book to young professionals of any gender!
However, I couldn't help but feel that the book had blinders on. There was a lot written about being sensitive to other people's emotions, and being as kind as possible when doing anything at all, even when writing out emails. I'll be real, I'm not a naturally "nice" person, and I don't work in a "nice" industry, so I'm definitely not the target audience. But so much of this book was absorbed in focusing on other people's feelings without ever questioning why women are expected to be this emotionally considerate at all. Why is there not a book called Hey Men, Stop Taking Everything Your Female Leadership Tells You So Damn Personally, They Are Just Trying To Do Their Fucking Jobs? Or how about Having Your Emotional Well-Being And Validation Depend Entirely On People Being Nice To You At Work Is Unhealthy, Unrealistic, And Will Ultimately Make You Miserable? Even in my very un-nice industry, the amount of emotional labor I am expected to do compared to my male colleagues is astounding, and frankly annoying, because again, I am not a "nice" person. Granted, this book does sort of address this topic, but in a very lukewarm way, almost like the author is just shrugging her shoulders and going "Well, that's the way it is!" I suppose it's not the fault of the author, but I am incredibly frustrated that there is a huge market for advising women on how to manage their emotions and zero books teaching men how to not lose their fucking minds when being told to do something by a woman.
This isn't to say this book isn't useful. It absolutely is. At its core, it's about how to maintain polite, friendly working relationships with people so they'll want to work with you again. In a competitive corporate world, I can definitely see how those skills might be rare, and how women especially might be targeted for being too "weak" when they express empathy for colleagues or employees. But I honestly feel that the same things can be accomplished by not focusing on being "nice," but on focusing on actually knowing your team and taking care of them. Where do they want to be in 5 years? In 10? Where are they from? What are their kids' names? How is their spouse doing? What are their hobbies? Is anyone sick? How can you, as a leader, make sure that they are stable enough to grow as a leader? I can understand that in a fast-paced corporate world, in-depth connections like these just aren't feasible, but to be honest, that just leaves me with a distaste for the work environments the author describes, rather than a desire to pick up being a nice girl.
I listened to the audiobook version, which was narrated by the author. She did a fine job narrating and the book itself was easy to follow. No complaints on format.
On one hand, I really liked the author's absolute rejection that women should try to embody a completely different persona just to get ahead--"pretend to be someone you're not" is the essential message most women get when advised about leadership, and it's fucking grating and 100% WRONG. Having a book that addresses the topic of leading with the force of your own character, not someone else's character, or someone else's idea of what a "tough" leader looks like, is a refreshing thing to see in books targeted towards young, professional women. To be frank, all of this advice could be taken by men as well, considering that men are under a lot of pressure to live up to the "macho" leadership stereotype. I would love to have some of my male colleagues and superiors read this just to get it through their thick heads that berating people doesn't make you tough. I also thought that the chapter on mentoring and being mentored was especially helpful, and something that I hadn't thought about before. Highly recommend this book to young professionals of any gender!
However, I couldn't help but feel that the book had blinders on. There was a lot written about being sensitive to other people's emotions, and being as kind as possible when doing anything at all, even when writing out emails. I'll be real, I'm not a naturally "nice" person, and I don't work in a "nice" industry, so I'm definitely not the target audience. But so much of this book was absorbed in focusing on other people's feelings without ever questioning why women are expected to be this emotionally considerate at all. Why is there not a book called Hey Men, Stop Taking Everything Your Female Leadership Tells You So Damn Personally, They Are Just Trying To Do Their Fucking Jobs? Or how about Having Your Emotional Well-Being And Validation Depend Entirely On People Being Nice To You At Work Is Unhealthy, Unrealistic, And Will Ultimately Make You Miserable? Even in my very un-nice industry, the amount of emotional labor I am expected to do compared to my male colleagues is astounding, and frankly annoying, because again, I am not a "nice" person. Granted, this book does sort of address this topic, but in a very lukewarm way, almost like the author is just shrugging her shoulders and going "Well, that's the way it is!" I suppose it's not the fault of the author, but I am incredibly frustrated that there is a huge market for advising women on how to manage their emotions and zero books teaching men how to not lose their fucking minds when being told to do something by a woman.
This isn't to say this book isn't useful. It absolutely is. At its core, it's about how to maintain polite, friendly working relationships with people so they'll want to work with you again. In a competitive corporate world, I can definitely see how those skills might be rare, and how women especially might be targeted for being too "weak" when they express empathy for colleagues or employees. But I honestly feel that the same things can be accomplished by not focusing on being "nice," but on focusing on actually knowing your team and taking care of them. Where do they want to be in 5 years? In 10? Where are they from? What are their kids' names? How is their spouse doing? What are their hobbies? Is anyone sick? How can you, as a leader, make sure that they are stable enough to grow as a leader? I can understand that in a fast-paced corporate world, in-depth connections like these just aren't feasible, but to be honest, that just leaves me with a distaste for the work environments the author describes, rather than a desire to pick up being a nice girl.
I listened to the audiobook version, which was narrated by the author. She did a fine job narrating and the book itself was easy to follow. No complaints on format.
January 26, 2021
It should have been a blog post.
The general idea is interesting but very simple - be nice but not at your own expense.
Definitely not enough content for 250 pages.
The general idea is interesting but very simple - be nice but not at your own expense.
Definitely not enough content for 250 pages.
December 6, 2017
As a former colleague of Fran's, I have witnessed first-hand her unique ability to be a nice, compassionate, analytical, ambitious, and successful executive. This book shows it can be done and gives you the tools you need to get there. I was fortunate to read an advance copy of the book and every single chapter resonated with me. As someone who has been told at work that I need to "push people harder" and "not be so nice," this proves that that line of thinking is not only antiquated but inauthentic. The mix of research, real-life anecdotes, and actionable advice (how to negotiate and not want to cry!) makes this a must-read for any woman who wants to get ahead without sacrificing her self.
December 7, 2017
I could not put this book down! The Myth of the Nice Girl is a practical guide on how to succeed with kindness, integrity, and authenticity. Fran Hauser gives her readers permission to show up as themselves in the workplace—nice AND ambitious. She provides personal examples of how being nice and genuinely connected with others leads to professional advancement and perhaps more importantly, fulfillment. But, do not mistake kindness for weakness! Fran is a savvy and successful business woman who knows her worth and stands her ground. The Myth of the Nice Girl encourages and teaches the reader how to do the same. This might be the most influential professional development book I have ever come across. Because Fran shares so generously from her own personal experience her advice is accessible and applicable wherever you are on the career ladder. I cannot wait to give this book as a gift!
December 23, 2018
I got this because I mentor young women. There are some sections specific to women and sexism, but much of the book could apply to “nice people” in general. I expect numerous tips will be useful.
April 30, 2020
It's worth a read if you're looking for practical advice.
December 4, 2019
I listened to this on audible and was surprised by how much I enjoyed it. I picked this up because it was a work book club pick.
There was a lot of great advice for the workplace and especially new managers or anyone in the position of having to give feedback or having difficult conversations.
She talks about taking risks, failures, the importance of mentors, and more. One of the things that I appreciated most was that the author provided lots of specific examples from her own career experience.
I wish I had read this when I first started my career out of college!
There was a lot of great advice for the workplace and especially new managers or anyone in the position of having to give feedback or having difficult conversations.
She talks about taking risks, failures, the importance of mentors, and more. One of the things that I appreciated most was that the author provided lots of specific examples from her own career experience.
I wish I had read this when I first started my career out of college!
July 29, 2026
Ovo je prva knjiga u kojoj sam označavala dijelove teksta olovkom 😲
Inače sam potpuno protiv toga, knjige samo gledam, mazim i pazim. 😅 Ali ovoga puta baš sam morala. Eto, za sve postoji prvi put!
Mislim da ću od sada, kad naletim na ovako dobre i pogođene knjige ovog žanra, ipak početi kupovati svoje primjerke i podcrtavati ih.
Nikad nisam mislila da ću to reći, ali nekako mi se čini da tako lakše pronađem važne dijelove kada im se želim vratiti i bolje ih zapamtim.
Tako da... ljudi, nikad ne recite nikad. 😅
Knjigu sam mogla pročitati u jednom danu, ali sam namjerno malo oduljila. Čitala sam je stranicu po stranicu kako bih upila što više poante. Toliko sam toga podcrtala da bih ovdje mogla prepisati pola knjige, ali onda ovo više ne bi bio osvrt. 😆
Usput, moram pohvaliti i naše hrvatsko izdanje. Naša ružičasta verzija puno je ljepša od originalne žute i baš mi je pogođena za ovu temu.
Ovu knjigu odabrala sam baš zato što me pogodila u trenutku u kojem se trenutno nalazim.
Dok sam čitala, stalno sam razmišljala o tome koliko su me posljednjih deset godina promijenili posao i ljudi.
Na početku knjige postoji jedan primjer kada Patricia prijateljici kupi njezine omiljene kekse i ostavi ih na stolu. To je sitnica, ali odmah sam pomislila kako sam i sama nekada voljela razveseliti ljude malim ili većim gestama.
S vremenom sam se po tom pitanju promijenila. Ne zato što više ne želim biti takva, nego zato što me neka životna i poslovna iskustva nisu ostavila onakvom kakva sam bila.
Kad sam počinjala raditi imala sam 21 ili 22 godine. Danas imam gotovo 32 i iza sebe deset godina rada u poduzetništvu.
U tih deset godina susrela sam se s puno više nepravde, bezobrazluka, predrasuda i nepoštovanja nego što sam ikada mislila da postoji.
Radim sama u našoj privatnoj firmi i svakodnevno sam u kontaktu s ljudima. Bilo je situacija koje su me stvarno obilježile. Od toga da se obična ljubaznost ponekad potpuno pogrešno protumači, do neugodnih klijenata koji te natjeraju da s vremenom podigneš zidove oko sebe.
I malo po malo počela sam se mijenjati.
Stvorila sam obrambeni mehanizam.
Postala sam odlučnija u odgovorima, stroža i manje pristupačna.
Ne zato što sam takva, nego zato što sam mislila da je to jedini način da se izborim za sebe.
I zapravo je bilo tako. Tek tada su me ljudi počeli ozbiljnije shvaćati i mnoge neugodne situacije su prestale.
Ali upravo se tu javio glavni problem.
Sve me to promijenilo u osobu koja zapravo nisam.
I upravo zato mi je ova knjiga toliko dobro sjela.
Ne zato što mi je dala odgovore na sve, nego zato što me podsjetila na ono što je meni zapravo važno.
Želim vratiti svoje početne postavke.
Ne želim izgubiti iskustvo i snagu koje sam stekla kroz ovih deset godina, ali želim ponovno biti ona osoba koja je bila prije.
Ono što mi je u knjizi malo nedostajalo jest što se dosta osjeti da je napisana iz perspektive velikih američkih tvrtki. Sastanci, direktori, veliki timovi... baš onako kako gledamo u filmovima.
Naravno, ne mogu joj to uzeti za zlo.
Autorica piše o svijetu koji poznaje i u kojem je gradila svoju karijeru. Nitko ne može bolje pisati o nečemu od onoga što je i sam proživio.
Ali meni su nedostajali primjeri rada s klijentima. To je pitanje koje mi se cijelo vrijeme vrtjelo po glavi. Kako se zauzeti za sebe pred neugodnim ili bahatim klijentom i pritom ostati ljubazan?
Posebno mi se svidjelo što nije pričala samo o "dobrim djevojkama". Bojala sam se da će cijela knjiga biti samo o tome, ali dotaknula se puno različitih tema i zbog toga mi je bila još zanimljivija.
Naravno, nisu mi sva poglavlja jednako sjela.
Meni je osobno puno zanimljivija bila prva polovica knjige.
Drugu sam također pročitala i bila mi je dobra, ali neka poglavlja jednostavno nisu bila toliko usmjerena na probleme s kojima se ja susrećem. Primjerice, poglavlja o donošenju odluka, sramežljivosti, stvaranju novih odnosa ili postavljanju granica nisu mi bila toliko potrebna jer s tim, srećom, nemam problema.
Isto tako, zadnje poglavlje o mentorstvu samo sam brzinski pročitala. Ne zato što nije dobro napisano, nego zato što imam osjećaj da kod nas mentorstvo nije toliko razvijeno kao u Americi pa mi nije bilo jednako zanimljivo.
Sviđa mi se i to što je napisana jednostavnim leksikom. Čak i kada naiđe poglavlje koje vas možda osobno manje zanima, bez problema ga možete brzo pročitati, a da pritom nemate osjećaj da ste nešto propustili.
I još jedna stvar koju mi je ova knjiga ponovno potvrdila.
Nije dovoljno samo čitati ovakve knjige ili razmišljati kako bi bilo lijepo nešto promijeniti.
Ono što razlikuje uspješnu osobu od one koja to nije jest djelovanje. Treba napraviti prvi korak.
Ali najteži su upravo ti prvi koraci.
Sve u svemu, iako se nisam pronašla baš u svakom poglavlju, ova knjiga mi je došla u pravom trenutku. Nije mi dala odgovore na sva pitanja koja imam, ali me podsjetila na ono što mi je stvarno važno.
Ne želim dopustiti da me iskustva i pojedini ljudi promijene toliko da zaboravim tko sam bila.
Želim zadržati iskustvo, snagu i odlučnost koje sam stekla tijekom svih ovih godina, ali isto tako želim vratiti onu svoju pristupačnost, smirenost i ljubaznost.
Želim se vratiti na svoje početne postavke.
I mislim da je upravo zato ova knjiga došla u moje ruke u pravom trenutku i mislim da je upravo to razlog zašto mi je ova knjiga toliko značila. Ne zato što sam se pronašla u svakoj temi o kojoj autorica piše, nego zato što me natjerala da zastanem i zapitam se kada sam putem izgubila dio sebe.
Nisam je doživjela samo kao knjigu o tome kako prestati biti "dobra djevojka", nego kao podsjetnik da iskustvo, odlučnost i snaga ne moraju značiti da izgubimo toplinu, pristupačnost i ljubaznost.
I da, na kraju krajeva, ljubaznost otvara sva vrata ☺️
Inače sam potpuno protiv toga, knjige samo gledam, mazim i pazim. 😅 Ali ovoga puta baš sam morala. Eto, za sve postoji prvi put!
Mislim da ću od sada, kad naletim na ovako dobre i pogođene knjige ovog žanra, ipak početi kupovati svoje primjerke i podcrtavati ih.
Nikad nisam mislila da ću to reći, ali nekako mi se čini da tako lakše pronađem važne dijelove kada im se želim vratiti i bolje ih zapamtim.
Tako da... ljudi, nikad ne recite nikad. 😅
Knjigu sam mogla pročitati u jednom danu, ali sam namjerno malo oduljila. Čitala sam je stranicu po stranicu kako bih upila što više poante. Toliko sam toga podcrtala da bih ovdje mogla prepisati pola knjige, ali onda ovo više ne bi bio osvrt. 😆
Usput, moram pohvaliti i naše hrvatsko izdanje. Naša ružičasta verzija puno je ljepša od originalne žute i baš mi je pogođena za ovu temu.
Ovu knjigu odabrala sam baš zato što me pogodila u trenutku u kojem se trenutno nalazim.
Dok sam čitala, stalno sam razmišljala o tome koliko su me posljednjih deset godina promijenili posao i ljudi.
Na početku knjige postoji jedan primjer kada Patricia prijateljici kupi njezine omiljene kekse i ostavi ih na stolu. To je sitnica, ali odmah sam pomislila kako sam i sama nekada voljela razveseliti ljude malim ili većim gestama.
S vremenom sam se po tom pitanju promijenila. Ne zato što više ne želim biti takva, nego zato što me neka životna i poslovna iskustva nisu ostavila onakvom kakva sam bila.
Kad sam počinjala raditi imala sam 21 ili 22 godine. Danas imam gotovo 32 i iza sebe deset godina rada u poduzetništvu.
U tih deset godina susrela sam se s puno više nepravde, bezobrazluka, predrasuda i nepoštovanja nego što sam ikada mislila da postoji.
Radim sama u našoj privatnoj firmi i svakodnevno sam u kontaktu s ljudima. Bilo je situacija koje su me stvarno obilježile. Od toga da se obična ljubaznost ponekad potpuno pogrešno protumači, do neugodnih klijenata koji te natjeraju da s vremenom podigneš zidove oko sebe.
I malo po malo počela sam se mijenjati.
Stvorila sam obrambeni mehanizam.
Postala sam odlučnija u odgovorima, stroža i manje pristupačna.
Ne zato što sam takva, nego zato što sam mislila da je to jedini način da se izborim za sebe.
I zapravo je bilo tako. Tek tada su me ljudi počeli ozbiljnije shvaćati i mnoge neugodne situacije su prestale.
Ali upravo se tu javio glavni problem.
Sve me to promijenilo u osobu koja zapravo nisam.
I upravo zato mi je ova knjiga toliko dobro sjela.
Ne zato što mi je dala odgovore na sve, nego zato što me podsjetila na ono što je meni zapravo važno.
Želim vratiti svoje početne postavke.
Ne želim izgubiti iskustvo i snagu koje sam stekla kroz ovih deset godina, ali želim ponovno biti ona osoba koja je bila prije.
Ono što mi je u knjizi malo nedostajalo jest što se dosta osjeti da je napisana iz perspektive velikih američkih tvrtki. Sastanci, direktori, veliki timovi... baš onako kako gledamo u filmovima.
Naravno, ne mogu joj to uzeti za zlo.
Autorica piše o svijetu koji poznaje i u kojem je gradila svoju karijeru. Nitko ne može bolje pisati o nečemu od onoga što je i sam proživio.
Ali meni su nedostajali primjeri rada s klijentima. To je pitanje koje mi se cijelo vrijeme vrtjelo po glavi. Kako se zauzeti za sebe pred neugodnim ili bahatim klijentom i pritom ostati ljubazan?
Posebno mi se svidjelo što nije pričala samo o "dobrim djevojkama". Bojala sam se da će cijela knjiga biti samo o tome, ali dotaknula se puno različitih tema i zbog toga mi je bila još zanimljivija.
Naravno, nisu mi sva poglavlja jednako sjela.
Meni je osobno puno zanimljivija bila prva polovica knjige.
Drugu sam također pročitala i bila mi je dobra, ali neka poglavlja jednostavno nisu bila toliko usmjerena na probleme s kojima se ja susrećem. Primjerice, poglavlja o donošenju odluka, sramežljivosti, stvaranju novih odnosa ili postavljanju granica nisu mi bila toliko potrebna jer s tim, srećom, nemam problema.
Isto tako, zadnje poglavlje o mentorstvu samo sam brzinski pročitala. Ne zato što nije dobro napisano, nego zato što imam osjećaj da kod nas mentorstvo nije toliko razvijeno kao u Americi pa mi nije bilo jednako zanimljivo.
Sviđa mi se i to što je napisana jednostavnim leksikom. Čak i kada naiđe poglavlje koje vas možda osobno manje zanima, bez problema ga možete brzo pročitati, a da pritom nemate osjećaj da ste nešto propustili.
I još jedna stvar koju mi je ova knjiga ponovno potvrdila.
Nije dovoljno samo čitati ovakve knjige ili razmišljati kako bi bilo lijepo nešto promijeniti.
Ono što razlikuje uspješnu osobu od one koja to nije jest djelovanje. Treba napraviti prvi korak.
Ali najteži su upravo ti prvi koraci.
Sve u svemu, iako se nisam pronašla baš u svakom poglavlju, ova knjiga mi je došla u pravom trenutku. Nije mi dala odgovore na sva pitanja koja imam, ali me podsjetila na ono što mi je stvarno važno.
Ne želim dopustiti da me iskustva i pojedini ljudi promijene toliko da zaboravim tko sam bila.
Želim zadržati iskustvo, snagu i odlučnost koje sam stekla tijekom svih ovih godina, ali isto tako želim vratiti onu svoju pristupačnost, smirenost i ljubaznost.
Želim se vratiti na svoje početne postavke.
I mislim da je upravo zato ova knjiga došla u moje ruke u pravom trenutku i mislim da je upravo to razlog zašto mi je ova knjiga toliko značila. Ne zato što sam se pronašla u svakoj temi o kojoj autorica piše, nego zato što me natjerala da zastanem i zapitam se kada sam putem izgubila dio sebe.
Nisam je doživjela samo kao knjigu o tome kako prestati biti "dobra djevojka", nego kao podsjetnik da iskustvo, odlučnost i snaga ne moraju značiti da izgubimo toplinu, pristupačnost i ljubaznost.
I da, na kraju krajeva, ljubaznost otvara sva vrata ☺️
April 20, 2020
One of the few self-help type books that focus on the point and don't spread too thin by repeating the same thing over and over. Full of practical advice and strategies for career advancement.
December 7, 2017
I could not put this book down! The Myth of the Nice Girl is a practical guide on how to succeed with kindness, integrity, and authenticity. Fran Hauser gives her readers permission to show up as themselves in the workplace—nice AND ambitious. She provides personal examples of how being nice and genuinely connected with others leads to professional advancement and perhaps more importantly, fulfillment. But, do not mistake kindness for weakness! Fran is a savvy and successful business woman who knows her worth and stands her ground. The Myth of the Nice Girl encourages and teaches the reader how to do the same. This might be the most influential professional development book I have ever come across. Because Fran shares so generously from her own personal experiences her advice is accessible and applicable wherever you are in your career. I cannot wait to give this book as a gift!
July 8, 2018
An enjoyable read, but one that seemed more suited to younger women in their career journey. I did find the Four Square Model to be a helpful tool for identifying and focusing on my personal priorities, and I’m excited about implementing that concept in my own life. I wish I’d had been able to read a book like this fifteen years ago!
April 6, 2019
This is just a bland career advice book whose central message is: don't be a jerk, but don't be a pushover. It's an important message (sadly), but I think it mostly applies to people (I mean, women) starting out in their careers.
July 15, 2026
I met Fran last summer and was immediately struck by how kind and welcoming she was. When I found out that she had written “The Myth of the Nice Girl,” I bought it without any hesitation, and it completely exceeded my expectations. All of my friends should read this book: I love the message, and there is nobody better than Fran to have written it.
Goop said it best: “Is it possible to be both kind and a total badass? Yes - and Fran Hauser tells us how.”
Side note - I picked up this book on a day that I was feeling particularly uninspired, and saw that Fran had signed my copy with a little note. The message was exactly what I needed to hear in that moment.
Thank you Fran for this wonderfully authentic book.
Goop said it best: “Is it possible to be both kind and a total badass? Yes - and Fran Hauser tells us how.”
Side note - I picked up this book on a day that I was feeling particularly uninspired, and saw that Fran had signed my copy with a little note. The message was exactly what I needed to hear in that moment.
Thank you Fran for this wonderfully authentic book.
December 17, 2019
I'm writing this review months after reading the book, and I don't remember much of it other than thinking it was fine. Maybe that says all I need to say.
August 16, 2023
It was good. Some of it not really applicable to my job - or to anyone outside the “business” career space. My mom told me to read Fran’s book after hearing her speak at a conference. Maybe my biggest takeaway was that in the acknowledgements at the end, we learn her husband is named Frank. Fran(k) Fran + Frank how interesting.
April 27, 2024
this book was recommended to me by a lawyer I met up with, on how to deal with/harness empathy in the ~industry~ and I found it really helpful! I’ll probably buy this one to have on hand and refer back to.
March 11, 2018
Although I have yet to enter the “real world”, I find that the ideas about “niceness” in The Myth of the Nice Girl have resonated with me and are extremely applicable to high school and university life. I have felt stuck in what Fran describes as the “Double Bind Between Nice and Strong". However, reading The Myth of the Nice Girl has made me realize that being nice is actually an advantage-- niceness and strength can (and should) coexist. Fran's words have taught me that I do not have to sacrifice my emotions in order to be taken seriously. I stand beside other women because we are all equal. I stand beside other women who are kind, innovative, supportive, and inspiring. Thank you, Fran, for empowering me through your stories and providing me a comfort to know that I will have a #NiceGirlArmy that will stand beside me in the challenges I will face in my education and career.
April 12, 2018
I finished this book feeling uplifted, recharged, and hopeful about my career.
Fran formats the book beautifully to make each chapter digestible and engaging. Each chapter opens with statements from different women that help reveal the mixed messages and beliefs "nice" girls navigate in their careers. Fran then shares anecdotes about her own career, friends' careers, and situations her mentees have experienced that have given her insight into how to successfully navigate these double standards. At the end of each chapter, she sums up her suggestions and methods into an actionable, bulleted list.
I found the chapter "Set Boundaries and be Caring" to be particularly useful at this stage of my career. I especially liked the idea that there is a sweet spot between yes and no, where you can be helpful and caring by offering something small and thoughtful when you don't have the capacity to deliver on a larger ask. I think this idea of showing up and being thoughtful while making space for yourself is an important theme throughout the book.
As someone early in my career who is still trying to find my natural voice and cadence, I feel like Fran's insights have saved me from years of confusion and anxiety around how to bring my authentic self to work. Fran's candor, strength, and kindness shine through on every page and remind me of the kind of woman I aspire to grow into. I am sure I will return to different chapters this book throughout my career as I face new challenges!
Fran formats the book beautifully to make each chapter digestible and engaging. Each chapter opens with statements from different women that help reveal the mixed messages and beliefs "nice" girls navigate in their careers. Fran then shares anecdotes about her own career, friends' careers, and situations her mentees have experienced that have given her insight into how to successfully navigate these double standards. At the end of each chapter, she sums up her suggestions and methods into an actionable, bulleted list.
I found the chapter "Set Boundaries and be Caring" to be particularly useful at this stage of my career. I especially liked the idea that there is a sweet spot between yes and no, where you can be helpful and caring by offering something small and thoughtful when you don't have the capacity to deliver on a larger ask. I think this idea of showing up and being thoughtful while making space for yourself is an important theme throughout the book.
As someone early in my career who is still trying to find my natural voice and cadence, I feel like Fran's insights have saved me from years of confusion and anxiety around how to bring my authentic self to work. Fran's candor, strength, and kindness shine through on every page and remind me of the kind of woman I aspire to grow into. I am sure I will return to different chapters this book throughout my career as I face new challenges!
May 19, 2021
In the work place, do we have to suppress our “niceness” to get ahead? Fran Hauser says, “NO.”
Nice is your capital 💸💸💸
This is the first self-help book I’ve read this year and I’m so glad I picked it up. I’ve been working for about four years now. I’m instictly nice. I like to make personal connections with the people I work with, but at my first job out of college I was definitely taken advantage of (by some).
At work being a “nice girl” was seen as a push over or people pleaser. And it took so much energy and time out of me 😣☹️ I found myself in sticky situations, apologizing for no reason and constantly complaining to close friends about how some coworkers treated me bad or how my ideas were constantly criticized or not heard.
Since then, I’ve learned to establish boundaries, to stand up for myself (a little better), to push for what I want and ask for it too.
& this book really made me feel seen. It taught me that being nice & strong at work are NOT mutually exclusive.
The chapters touched on:
🔸being more confident and speaking up during meetings
🔸how to make decisions firmly and collaboratively without seeming “bossy”
🔸how to negotiate with strategy/ empathy without seeming “greedy”
🔸how invest in yourself and not feel self-centered
Key takeaway: Be nice, be you & spread the power of kindness.
This is the book I feel any woman in the workplace will find herself identifying with many of the stories shared.
Nice is your capital 💸💸💸
This is the first self-help book I’ve read this year and I’m so glad I picked it up. I’ve been working for about four years now. I’m instictly nice. I like to make personal connections with the people I work with, but at my first job out of college I was definitely taken advantage of (by some).
At work being a “nice girl” was seen as a push over or people pleaser. And it took so much energy and time out of me 😣☹️ I found myself in sticky situations, apologizing for no reason and constantly complaining to close friends about how some coworkers treated me bad or how my ideas were constantly criticized or not heard.
Since then, I’ve learned to establish boundaries, to stand up for myself (a little better), to push for what I want and ask for it too.
& this book really made me feel seen. It taught me that being nice & strong at work are NOT mutually exclusive.
The chapters touched on:
🔸being more confident and speaking up during meetings
🔸how to make decisions firmly and collaboratively without seeming “bossy”
🔸how to negotiate with strategy/ empathy without seeming “greedy”
🔸how invest in yourself and not feel self-centered
Key takeaway: Be nice, be you & spread the power of kindness.
This is the book I feel any woman in the workplace will find herself identifying with many of the stories shared.
November 15, 2017
I absolutely LOVE this book. Women do not have to be a bi*** to be in charge and Fran shares stories about herself, her mentors and her colleagues to show how this can be done. She also includes stats about the wage gap and this one about men vs. women applying for jobs: Men often apply for jobs when they meet only 60% of the qualifications. Women need to ask themselves if they're 60% qualified.
Some of the pieces of advice she shared that really resonated are:
1. Pay attention to the way you talk about yourself
2. STOP SAYING SORRY
3. If something at work bothers you (or in life for that matter), say it! Spare yourself a week of analyzing and advice from friends and just squash it in the moment.
4. Understand if you're doing something because you want to, or because it will please someone else.
Some of the pieces of advice she shared that really resonated are:
1. Pay attention to the way you talk about yourself
2. STOP SAYING SORRY
3. If something at work bothers you (or in life for that matter), say it! Spare yourself a week of analyzing and advice from friends and just squash it in the moment.
4. Understand if you're doing something because you want to, or because it will please someone else.
November 26, 2017
I was lucky to get an Advanced Readers Copy of The Myth of the Nice Girl. I cannot wait until it comes out - I will be buying copies for my college-aged daughter and the young women I mentor at work. The Myth of the Nice Girl is a down-to-earth guide to professional success that foregoes gimmicks and offers real world tactics anyone can use to achieve their goals while remaining true to themselves. Fran Hauser teaches us that being nice and being powerful are not mutually exclusive. In fact, the stories we've been told about being nice (if you're too nice, you're a pushover, for example), have got it all wrong. Being authentically nice is a secret super power. Let's hope The Myth of the Nice Girl ushers in a new era of powerful, compassionate women leaders. From the boardroom to the Oval Office, we really need the kind of leadership Fran Hauser espouses in the Myth of the Nice Girl.
November 30, 2017
So excited about this amazing book! My dear friend and former colleague, Fran Hauser, one of the kindest and most compassionate leaders I've ever known, shares her brand of wisdom and inspiration plus practical tools for doing work that is aligned with who we are and how we want to live. It’s chock full of insights and real advice for those of us who want to feel successful from the inside out. The Myth of the Nice Girl banishes the stereotypes about ‘nice’ girls with a mix of experiences and stories from years of being an incredibly successful (and quintessential) ‘nice’ girl. Fran Hauser shares how ‘nice’ can be a superpower when combined with smarts, strategy and more.
January 24, 2018
LOVED reading this book. It explains why being ambitious / successful is not at odds with being nice and offers a credible and practical framework to develop an authentic voice / professional persona.
Fran shares engaging case studies and anecdotes that showcase how executives have been able to straddle being successful and nice. It's inspiring to read and exciting to have tools to put into practice.
Can't wait to share this book with friends and colleagues to spread the message that authenticity and kindness can make us more effective as professionals and as people. With this collective takeaway, a future filled with kindness might just be ahead of us.
Fran shares engaging case studies and anecdotes that showcase how executives have been able to straddle being successful and nice. It's inspiring to read and exciting to have tools to put into practice.
Can't wait to share this book with friends and colleagues to spread the message that authenticity and kindness can make us more effective as professionals and as people. With this collective takeaway, a future filled with kindness might just be ahead of us.
May 21, 2018
I was pleasantly surprised by this book. I was expecting a book to teach me to become tougher and how to use my niceness to achieve this. This is what I been reading too many other places that you cannot become successful and be nice at the same time.
This book showed me how to use my niceness as an factor in my work, and how to make it my "weapon". I am greatfull to read a book about how to be nice and still succeed in business. Niceness is one of my traits that I like the most, but are the most skeptical towards, therefor I am happy for a book that tell me to be my self!
*Copy provided by Edelweiss in exchange for an honest review*
This book showed me how to use my niceness as an factor in my work, and how to make it my "weapon". I am greatfull to read a book about how to be nice and still succeed in business. Niceness is one of my traits that I like the most, but are the most skeptical towards, therefor I am happy for a book that tell me to be my self!
*Copy provided by Edelweiss in exchange for an honest review*
July 19, 2022
Be nice, really be you but don't be nice to get ahead. I don't know; it was meandering and could have been a shorter book. Also, I didn't all the focusing on the emotions of others to get what I needed, and that "women" still need to make things work. This book isn't new. It is just reminding you what you need.
Keep the stereotypes of women who do all the female emotional labor instead of others to ensure you are nice for nice sakes and somehow manage to get ahead. It was exhausting to read. I gave up because it was all name-dropping and telling me to do what I already do in my work sphere, which is exhausting.
Keep the stereotypes of women who do all the female emotional labor instead of others to ensure you are nice for nice sakes and somehow manage to get ahead. It was exhausting to read. I gave up because it was all name-dropping and telling me to do what I already do in my work sphere, which is exhausting.
January 24, 2018
Fran Hauser has worked everywhere and has the tips and recommendations people need to really make the most of their careers. Filled with solid frank advice, it is the guide for getting what you want regardless of where you are in your career. In my opinion, it’s a must read for every female or male who wants to achieve their career dreams.
February 12, 2018
This book is fantastic and is a must read for any female executive or employee. There are so many valuable lessons in here that are going to help me as a female CEO, lessons that will help my young managers, and even our most junior employees. There were 30+ actionable suggestions in this book that I am starting to incorporate into my company's work today, and I just finished the book yesterday!
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