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Still Life With Rice: A Young American Woman Discovers the Life and Legacy of Her Korean Grandmother
As told by her granddaughter, the biography of a Korean woman born in 1912 into a socially-repressive, male-dominated society, describes her struggles to overcome the pains of war, loss, and discrimination
320 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1996
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1924 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 202 reviews
March 13, 2017
A wonderful story about her resilient grandmother!
January 4, 2008
"A woman must always be the strong stone, for she is the foundation of a family. However, your husband must never be threatened by your power and will. Let him believe it is his. Peace and happiness rest upon you and you alone. Guide him, lead him to his full potential, and most important, open his heart toward the light of God, and also your unborn children's." (pg. 303)
"Be good to your mother, for there will be no one else in thie whole world who will love you more dearly." (pg. 305)
" 'And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.' A mother's love." (pg. 320)
"Be good to your mother, for there will be no one else in thie whole world who will love you more dearly." (pg. 305)
" 'And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.' A mother's love." (pg. 320)
June 14, 2010
Sex, drugs, tradition, strong women, and the history of the Korean War. This is my kinda book. All memoirs should be written like this.
One of the most touching books I've ever read ... and it was given an iffy rating on goodcleanreads.blogspot.com (http://goodcleanreads.blogspot.com/20...), just confirming all the more that this book kicks ass. :)
One of the most touching books I've ever read ... and it was given an iffy rating on goodcleanreads.blogspot.com (http://goodcleanreads.blogspot.com/20...), just confirming all the more that this book kicks ass. :)
July 3, 2013
I've hemmed and hawed about how I feel about this book. It's a good story, well told. It reads like a morality tale, all the riches they got from the opium trade disappeared like that, land stolen from them as soon as they bought it with the opium money. The hardships and utter stubbornness, the callousness and (overdone in some cases) charity. And to anyone who says Korea is a patriarchy - Ha! Resonates well with Fall of Giants, in that just because you're born into an upper class doesn't automatically imbue you with leadership skills, as the English learned to their sorrow on the battlefield, as the family learned to it's sorrow with Father and Eldest Son and Second Wife, and the absolute spinelessness of Husband.
More personally, I still don't know how to react to the book. All I know of North Korea is the other side of the propaganda the North pours out about the South. The parenting - that's overgenerous - the way children are allowed to grow up resonates more irritating than painful, but I guess still both. And my perpetual question, 'why, if you didn't like it when you were growing up, repeat the same pattern?'
Worth reading, doubt I'll read any more by the author. Same thing happened with Amy Tan.
More personally, I still don't know how to react to the book. All I know of North Korea is the other side of the propaganda the North pours out about the South. The parenting - that's overgenerous - the way children are allowed to grow up resonates more irritating than painful, but I guess still both. And my perpetual question, 'why, if you didn't like it when you were growing up, repeat the same pattern?'
Worth reading, doubt I'll read any more by the author. Same thing happened with Amy Tan.
June 4, 2014
def one of the greatest memoir for me. theres no page in this book that you wouldnt want to savor because the way the author described all the intricate details of death,love, endings and new beginnings in biting humor made me feel as if i am one of the characters during the war. and trust me it was not a good experience. its like i am hanging on a thin branch that might snap any moment. but its because of the terror and chill that it brought to my bones that i like it all the more. it made me experience horror and that warm fuzzy feeling like no other book has ever done. except maybe battle royale by takami. that book was sick too.
March 12, 2012
I LOVED this book!!! Granted, I am biased in my adoration of Korea. This book further clinches that adoration. What a resilient people! The real life aspect of it only makes it more appealing. A wonderful read from start to finish!
August 26, 2020
I gazed down to this little bundle in my arms and quietly whispered, "Be good to your mother, for there will be no one else in this whole world who will love you more dearly."
August 31, 2017
One of the more fascinating and inspiring stories I've ever read, it's absolutely unbelievable from start to finish
March 7, 2023
I AM OBSESSED WITH THIS BOOK!!! This is not your typical memoir– instead of writing from her own perspective, Helie Lee writes Still Life With Rice from her Korean grandmother Hongyong Baek's perspective, with only a few pages dedicated to Lee's own thoughts. Lee explores in depth the trials that her grandmother faced, beginning with her grandmother's birth all the way up to the time of Lee writing the book. She delves deep into the topics of family relations, cultural norms, religion, motherhood, war, and love from perspective of her grandmother. Lee also examines the way in which attitudes towards these topics shift or remain the same through the generations– from her great-great-grandmother's generation to her own generation. The story of Hongyong Baek is one that will keep your eyes watering and your mind racing. Overall, Still Life With Rice is beautifully written and is a book that will stick with me for a lifetime.
October 30, 2013
p. 17
"Our first responsibility must be to the family and not to the individual. It is our duty as women to raise future generations."
"Korean women consider our positions as mothers and nurturers to be the most important job. Asserting our rights outside the household is not worth sacrificing the family's well-being."
p.36 Ironing: "Mother made it looks so simple and graceful. She would take a sip of water and spray the fabric evenly from between puckered lips, then glide the iron across Father's wrinkled trousers. My sprays usually dribbled out in pu8ddles, leaving a wet trail down my chin and front of my dress..."
p.165 "These were the same words I had heard before. As I listened to them once more, drinking in their profound meaning, I felt some unseen force inside me, massaging, softening my callused heart. Instantly thirty-five years of jealousy, dishonesty, lust, and pride were exposed. I saw the person I had been and the sins I had committed against others. My heart felt heavy, I wanted to purged of my burden. I wanted this Jesus to help me. At that moment when I asked to be saved, the light of the sun seemed to flood the room..."
p.171 "Right there in bold print, for anyone to read, was the message of love. God treasured all his children equally, regardless of gender. For the first time in my life, I was truly content simply being a person, not a wife, not a mother, not a woman. A person."
p.179 Convinced to try out Christianity: "If there is a chance to reunited after death, I wish to go where my family is. I do not want to be separated from you."
p.211 "The thought of washing pads along the icy trail with bombs exploding over our heads was almost funny. For this reason alone, women would never start wars."
p.222 Caution to children: "Listen carefully. When the planes swarm again, do not yell out my name. I cannot protect you from the bullets. Call out Jesus' name. He is the only one who can save you. Do you understand?"
p.225 "Move on," I told myself. "I can only worry about my own." Such selfish words, not the Christian thing to do, and yet I think God understood the terrible decisions I often had to make.
p. 289 to the farm boy applying for college: "All you have is this pencil and God, but that is more than enough."
p.309 Sending her daughter to America: "Through out touch, we communicated a lifetime of apologies and forgiveness. Through our eyes we, we confirmed the love that flowed between us."
P.315 Advice from grandmother "Do no hold on to your unmarried status as if it is a great prize. A rotten fruit once fallen off the tree is wasted and there are no second chances. Life and the creation of life is the most precious gift given to women. It is not meant to be taken lightly or denied."
"Our first responsibility must be to the family and not to the individual. It is our duty as women to raise future generations."
"Korean women consider our positions as mothers and nurturers to be the most important job. Asserting our rights outside the household is not worth sacrificing the family's well-being."
p.36 Ironing: "Mother made it looks so simple and graceful. She would take a sip of water and spray the fabric evenly from between puckered lips, then glide the iron across Father's wrinkled trousers. My sprays usually dribbled out in pu8ddles, leaving a wet trail down my chin and front of my dress..."
p.165 "These were the same words I had heard before. As I listened to them once more, drinking in their profound meaning, I felt some unseen force inside me, massaging, softening my callused heart. Instantly thirty-five years of jealousy, dishonesty, lust, and pride were exposed. I saw the person I had been and the sins I had committed against others. My heart felt heavy, I wanted to purged of my burden. I wanted this Jesus to help me. At that moment when I asked to be saved, the light of the sun seemed to flood the room..."
p.171 "Right there in bold print, for anyone to read, was the message of love. God treasured all his children equally, regardless of gender. For the first time in my life, I was truly content simply being a person, not a wife, not a mother, not a woman. A person."
p.179 Convinced to try out Christianity: "If there is a chance to reunited after death, I wish to go where my family is. I do not want to be separated from you."
p.211 "The thought of washing pads along the icy trail with bombs exploding over our heads was almost funny. For this reason alone, women would never start wars."
p.222 Caution to children: "Listen carefully. When the planes swarm again, do not yell out my name. I cannot protect you from the bullets. Call out Jesus' name. He is the only one who can save you. Do you understand?"
p.225 "Move on," I told myself. "I can only worry about my own." Such selfish words, not the Christian thing to do, and yet I think God understood the terrible decisions I often had to make.
p. 289 to the farm boy applying for college: "All you have is this pencil and God, but that is more than enough."
p.309 Sending her daughter to America: "Through out touch, we communicated a lifetime of apologies and forgiveness. Through our eyes we, we confirmed the love that flowed between us."
P.315 Advice from grandmother "Do no hold on to your unmarried status as if it is a great prize. A rotten fruit once fallen off the tree is wasted and there are no second chances. Life and the creation of life is the most precious gift given to women. It is not meant to be taken lightly or denied."
July 14, 2012
This book tells the story of the author's grandmother who lived in Korea during the first half of the twentieth century. The author takes on the voice of the grandmother and gives a first perosn account of this turbulent time in history. It is similar to the book Wild Swans which tells the story of 20th century China through the eyes of three generations of the author's female relatives. This book is obviously not that comprehensive, but it is a gripping tale of the hardships that the Korean people endured during the Japanese occupation through the Korean War. Because it is a first person account of a woman's struggle it gives unique insight into a culture most Americans are not familiar with. It also shows how much traditional cultures chnaged during the 20th century. The grandmother adjusted to an arranged marriage in Korea, her daughter met a man while sitll in Korea, fell in love with him, and then married him against her mother's wishes, while the author is a young American woman who refuses to settle down and get married.
This is certainly a gripping and moving tale. However, the book fails me at the beginning and the end where the author tries to blend in her story of finding out about her grandmother's life and recording her stories for her book. Her grandmother's powerful testament might have been bettered served if it just stood alone. Nonetheless, if you want to know what the Korean people endured as they became two separate nations, this is a must read.
This is certainly a gripping and moving tale. However, the book fails me at the beginning and the end where the author tries to blend in her story of finding out about her grandmother's life and recording her stories for her book. Her grandmother's powerful testament might have been bettered served if it just stood alone. Nonetheless, if you want to know what the Korean people endured as they became two separate nations, this is a must read.
December 30, 2008
Truly an enjoyable read, I read it in one sitting. Only the first and last chapter was the writer actually in the book itself as the body of the book is written fiction-like through the viewpoint of the writer's grandmother.
This book follows the writer's grandmother from her early days in Korea (North) in the early Japanese colonisation to running away withe her husband and children to China and returning to Korea (North) when the Japanese lost the war to once again running away from home, this time from communism.
A story of the realisation of self, of courage and strength. Unbelievable of what one must go through in war times yet you emerge, whilst unscathed, as one full of joy and thanks to God for the person you become.
I'm definitely getting her next book out from the library.
This book follows the writer's grandmother from her early days in Korea (North) in the early Japanese colonisation to running away withe her husband and children to China and returning to Korea (North) when the Japanese lost the war to once again running away from home, this time from communism.
A story of the realisation of self, of courage and strength. Unbelievable of what one must go through in war times yet you emerge, whilst unscathed, as one full of joy and thanks to God for the person you become.
I'm definitely getting her next book out from the library.
February 20, 2017
Awesome descriptions and memorable characters. It's a must read for anyone interested in Korean culture, history or Kyobos (Korean-Americans). It's also a great read for anyone whose grandparents emigrated from abroad. It shows us readers how different our grandparents lives probably were. The grandmother in this story was very modest and didn't brag about her successes. The themes of this book are very relevant in today's fast-paced society.
June 16, 2025
Amazing. Educational. Heartwarming and heart wrenching. Excellent. Great friend recommendation! Thanks Rebecca Egan! This will probably be my book group suggestion when it's my turn to pick. Disclaimer: There are some sexual descriptions, mostly within marriages, but they are not scintillating. It's more biology and uninformed curiosity. Very much in the tone of the narrative.
First read 2 - 8 Sept 2014
I just finished this again for book group, my suggestion. Loved it again!
First read 2 - 8 Sept 2014
I just finished this again for book group, my suggestion. Loved it again!
June 23, 2018
Book 23 of my Goodreads Challenge 2018
I rather enjoyed this memoir although I did dip into it in small chunks, so it took a while to read. The trials and hardships that this authors grandmother faced read more like fiction than true life. It was a little heavy going with all the drugs and religion. But thinking back now there are some horrendous images that the text conjured up and they still linger in my memory.
A bit of a challenging read but I am glad I read it.
I rather enjoyed this memoir although I did dip into it in small chunks, so it took a while to read. The trials and hardships that this authors grandmother faced read more like fiction than true life. It was a little heavy going with all the drugs and religion. But thinking back now there are some horrendous images that the text conjured up and they still linger in my memory.
A bit of a challenging read but I am glad I read it.
July 4, 2017
The title says it all - this memoir is a work of art. Helie Lee transcribes with beautiful clarity the story of her Korean grandmother, a woman whose heart was broken - and mended - countless times during eighty years of life. In the categories of both Christian memoir and literary nonfiction, this book surely ranks among the best.
April 25, 2019
Thank goodness the writer had the curiosity, and that her mother and grandmother had the openness to recall and then share the unreal journey the Korean people have made through time and space.
Reading all the explicit details about everything from the tales of marriage (arranged, transactional, condoning as tradition what would now be known as plain rape on a woman's wedding night with a husband she first met on the day of the ceremony), relationships, motherhood, the opium trade and lives of Korean refugees in China, the squalor of enprisonment by the colonist Japanese, and the dog eat dog conditions in wartime Korea made wonder and wonder how first to get this level of information out of somebody and then describe it in the first person even if you are two generations removed from that person.
It took me a while to get into the first person but I did.
The mother-daughter dynamics between the author's great grandmother and grandmother, then her grandmother and her mother, were so raw and triggering. Basically, the life of a girl or woman sucked even more than we could ever comprehend now, and each woman passed on what she had learned and endured - however unfairly - to her daughter (never the sons). Yet, compassion, loyalty, forgiveness, and understanding can evidently prevail for the lucky women of Korean descent.
I cringed at the fate of sick, handicapped, and otherwise burdensome people back then. Just as the author's great grandmother put her crippled and sick daughter outside on a grindstone to die in the winter, the author's grandmother left her infant daughter by the side of the road because she was too much of a burden, leaving her eldest daughter to carry the baby, even taking blows to her face from the mother who was determined to jettison her spare baby. I'm supposed to feel for this woman - just how FAR she could be pushed to do that - but I couldn't. Her small, young daughter was able to do better, and did. SO triggering.
Another thing that was very painful for me to stomach was the insight into how so much of Korea became proselytized into Christianity, for better and for worse, in earnestness and hypocrisy. These ramifications are still present in every manifestation of the Korean Christian community today, whether here or abroad...again, for the good and bad.
For starving women with no rights to education or enterprise (unless allowed by a husband) beyond prostitution, it made sense that they would gravitate quickly towards an institution of thought that was bringing in money, food, kindness, and even explanations for the unexplainable, good or bad. The author's grandmother did have a fall from faith in the latter portions of the book, and I respected the description to an honest reaction to events that called into question the reality of God/Jesus.
The way I see it, what grandmother Lee and her family suffered or achieved was to the credit of her own effort and to blind fate/luck. But maybe I'm biased as a hardline atheist whose parents were also unable to be won over by Church (though we have plenty of dear friends and family who are extremely Christian). Maybe religion was a point of focus that brought her through the fire.
Whatever feelings are provoked, more memoirs like this must be captured. Otherwise, none of us Koreans will know what we've come from or what we're made of. We will not have to atone to one another for what we've done to each other. We will forget to give credit where credit is due, and understand why our parents and grandparents are the way that they are. We will content ourselves with shallow, comfortable roots, claiming that that was then and this is now, and that our only task is to forge ahead without looking back.
Reading all the explicit details about everything from the tales of marriage (arranged, transactional, condoning as tradition what would now be known as plain rape on a woman's wedding night with a husband she first met on the day of the ceremony), relationships, motherhood, the opium trade and lives of Korean refugees in China, the squalor of enprisonment by the colonist Japanese, and the dog eat dog conditions in wartime Korea made wonder and wonder how first to get this level of information out of somebody and then describe it in the first person even if you are two generations removed from that person.
It took me a while to get into the first person but I did.
The mother-daughter dynamics between the author's great grandmother and grandmother, then her grandmother and her mother, were so raw and triggering. Basically, the life of a girl or woman sucked even more than we could ever comprehend now, and each woman passed on what she had learned and endured - however unfairly - to her daughter (never the sons). Yet, compassion, loyalty, forgiveness, and understanding can evidently prevail for the lucky women of Korean descent.
I cringed at the fate of sick, handicapped, and otherwise burdensome people back then. Just as the author's great grandmother put her crippled and sick daughter outside on a grindstone to die in the winter, the author's grandmother left her infant daughter by the side of the road because she was too much of a burden, leaving her eldest daughter to carry the baby, even taking blows to her face from the mother who was determined to jettison her spare baby. I'm supposed to feel for this woman - just how FAR she could be pushed to do that - but I couldn't. Her small, young daughter was able to do better, and did. SO triggering.
Another thing that was very painful for me to stomach was the insight into how so much of Korea became proselytized into Christianity, for better and for worse, in earnestness and hypocrisy. These ramifications are still present in every manifestation of the Korean Christian community today, whether here or abroad...again, for the good and bad.
For starving women with no rights to education or enterprise (unless allowed by a husband) beyond prostitution, it made sense that they would gravitate quickly towards an institution of thought that was bringing in money, food, kindness, and even explanations for the unexplainable, good or bad. The author's grandmother did have a fall from faith in the latter portions of the book, and I respected the description to an honest reaction to events that called into question the reality of God/Jesus.
The way I see it, what grandmother Lee and her family suffered or achieved was to the credit of her own effort and to blind fate/luck. But maybe I'm biased as a hardline atheist whose parents were also unable to be won over by Church (though we have plenty of dear friends and family who are extremely Christian). Maybe religion was a point of focus that brought her through the fire.
Whatever feelings are provoked, more memoirs like this must be captured. Otherwise, none of us Koreans will know what we've come from or what we're made of. We will not have to atone to one another for what we've done to each other. We will forget to give credit where credit is due, and understand why our parents and grandparents are the way that they are. We will content ourselves with shallow, comfortable roots, claiming that that was then and this is now, and that our only task is to forge ahead without looking back.
January 16, 2020
I read this book for my book club. At receiving it in the mail, I wasn’t all that enthusiastic about reading it, but once I started, I was hooked from the beginning. Each chapter built on the last, but each chapter was in itself a mini story. There is a bit of foul language, and some slightly graphic sex, but overall, this is a fictional biography that opened my eyes to what the people of North Korea experienced before, during and after the Korean War. I had no idea about everything they experienced, though I had glimpses of what life was like.
I had just finished Island of the Sea Women, which covers the same time period, but for the people living in South Korea. It was a coincidence, but the books were really good as companions.
I had just finished Island of the Sea Women, which covers the same time period, but for the people living in South Korea. It was a coincidence, but the books were really good as companions.
September 12, 2023
You don’t have to be a mother to love this book… But if you are, you will never forget the journey of this mother. Plus… I want to figure out how to get one of those massages!
April 3, 2019
I remember first glancing at this long book. Like every book, I would just stare and glance at it for 30 minutes reading the title over and over again to seem like I was actually reading. I personally am not a book reader. Every time I look at a page in a book, I go “forget it”, maybe we’ll read it next time. Next time is never for me. This is the most case for any book. So you’re probably wondering how I picked up this book and started reading it, well let’s just say that English teachers have some high reading standards. And also, Asian parents can be quite strict when it comes to reading. Since it was a Korean history book, my parents got even more
After reading this book, my understanding of Korean struggles has changed in every way. Before, my understanding of Korean history was just all peace and happiness. I began to realize as I read more and more of this book, the struggles of the Korean people. I never knew how powerful of an impact that a book could have in my life. I began to respect Koreans more because of how powerful they had kept up with all the hardships that I wouldn’t be able to imagine.
How could such a thing that I hate so much, move me more than an inspiration speech? Maybe because it was about Koreans, or that I’m Korean. I still remember exactly what happened after I finished reading this book. I slam my fists so hard that I could feel the sore pains that the Koreans dealt with on the cold snowy mountains taking fire from enemy artillery. When I walked, I could feel my feet numb just like the Koreans did after walking miles and miles just to find a place to stay. Being hungry after reading this book as if I hadn’t eaten in days. Feeling the same feelings that the Helie’s grandmother had felt, how could these people be so harsh? But these illusions that I was facing, weren’t illusions to those Koreans. The way that author Helie Lee had described her grandmother ’s personal struggles on her journey inspired me to start my own. I remember dreaming of being in an illusion world on the snowy mountains with bare feet walking slowly because I was starving. Then only to wake up and realize that I had fallen in love with something I had hated my whole life.
Maybe this book hadn’t impacted me enough because of how culturally informational it was specifically towards women in Korea. And it’s probably true, the hardships that Helie Lee had explained through her grandmother’s perspective wasn’t just about the painful hikes and starvation struggles, but also culturally. This book puts into perspective the many struggles that Korean women had to deal with culturally. It could’ve had an effect on how powerfully inspiring it was.
But if it got me to finish the whole book enjoyable, then I bet it could do the same for you.
After reading this book, my understanding of Korean struggles has changed in every way. Before, my understanding of Korean history was just all peace and happiness. I began to realize as I read more and more of this book, the struggles of the Korean people. I never knew how powerful of an impact that a book could have in my life. I began to respect Koreans more because of how powerful they had kept up with all the hardships that I wouldn’t be able to imagine.
How could such a thing that I hate so much, move me more than an inspiration speech? Maybe because it was about Koreans, or that I’m Korean. I still remember exactly what happened after I finished reading this book. I slam my fists so hard that I could feel the sore pains that the Koreans dealt with on the cold snowy mountains taking fire from enemy artillery. When I walked, I could feel my feet numb just like the Koreans did after walking miles and miles just to find a place to stay. Being hungry after reading this book as if I hadn’t eaten in days. Feeling the same feelings that the Helie’s grandmother had felt, how could these people be so harsh? But these illusions that I was facing, weren’t illusions to those Koreans. The way that author Helie Lee had described her grandmother ’s personal struggles on her journey inspired me to start my own. I remember dreaming of being in an illusion world on the snowy mountains with bare feet walking slowly because I was starving. Then only to wake up and realize that I had fallen in love with something I had hated my whole life.
Maybe this book hadn’t impacted me enough because of how culturally informational it was specifically towards women in Korea. And it’s probably true, the hardships that Helie Lee had explained through her grandmother’s perspective wasn’t just about the painful hikes and starvation struggles, but also culturally. This book puts into perspective the many struggles that Korean women had to deal with culturally. It could’ve had an effect on how powerfully inspiring it was.
But if it got me to finish the whole book enjoyable, then I bet it could do the same for you.
July 9, 2010
I'm going to give this four stars for the first 75%, even though it fell apart for me toward the end.
"Still Life with Rice" reminded me very much of Wild Swans: Three Daughters of China -- a young woman's chronicle of her grandmother's life in war-torn Southeast Asia told from her Korean grandmother's perspective. It's pretty amazing to contemplate all the things Helie Lee's grandmother went through and her courage throughout -- married off in an arranged marriage (which, fortunately, developed into a loving union unlike depictions of arranged marriage in other books), fleeing to China with her husband where she started multiple successful businesses including opium trading, returning to Korea where she suffered the ravages of war and walked from North Korea to South Korea with her children, etc. The book read more like a novel than like the true story of someone's life, which was mostly a good thing.
Things started to go south for me toward the end. The narrative became choppy, and the events and choices increasingly unbelievable. It was hard for me to understand some of the decisions Helie's grandmother made, and extremely difficult for me to believe the way things worked out. Though billed as a true story, the book started to feel like an amateurish novel where the character's motivations are unclear and the loose ends neatly tied. If Helie Lee is in fact recounting events accurately, it's a pretty amazing story but my ability to empathize with the main character diminished in the final quarter of the book.
I would still recommend the book overall. It was a fascinating story about an unforgettable woman, and an enjoyable introduction for me to Korean history and culture.
"Still Life with Rice" reminded me very much of Wild Swans: Three Daughters of China -- a young woman's chronicle of her grandmother's life in war-torn Southeast Asia told from her Korean grandmother's perspective. It's pretty amazing to contemplate all the things Helie Lee's grandmother went through and her courage throughout -- married off in an arranged marriage (which, fortunately, developed into a loving union unlike depictions of arranged marriage in other books), fleeing to China with her husband where she started multiple successful businesses including opium trading, returning to Korea where she suffered the ravages of war and walked from North Korea to South Korea with her children, etc. The book read more like a novel than like the true story of someone's life, which was mostly a good thing.
Things started to go south for me toward the end. The narrative became choppy, and the events and choices increasingly unbelievable. It was hard for me to understand some of the decisions Helie's grandmother made, and extremely difficult for me to believe the way things worked out. Though billed as a true story, the book started to feel like an amateurish novel where the character's motivations are unclear and the loose ends neatly tied. If Helie Lee is in fact recounting events accurately, it's a pretty amazing story but my ability to empathize with the main character diminished in the final quarter of the book.
I would still recommend the book overall. It was a fascinating story about an unforgettable woman, and an enjoyable introduction for me to Korean history and culture.
January 5, 2018
Though written in 1996, the story of this Korean family separated by the 38th parallel is fascinating to read whether one is interested in the politics of the region or the upcoming 2018 winter games.
From daughter to grandmother we hear about a life of duty, adventure and most of all love. The traditional Koran society, the trials of occupation and war, the separations and reunion of family.
Helie Lee's grandmother is "a woman of unshakeable conviction and great heart" pg 16 says her cousin when Helie returns to Korea to understand her heritage. Her grandmother's memories, summarized on pg 315, are the outline of a life and the reasons her parents came to America - so Helie could be Korean and proud of that identity.
So much changed over her grandmother's lifetime - just as it does generation to generation everywhere. Her experience of marriage was not smooth but nevertheless "It was a love separate from passion, a love that surpassed the flesh and would flourish long into old age" pg89 Her experience of national identity "many..centuries ago our three countries were once the same....bitter battles raged between brothers, because love soured turned to bitter hate. There was no emotion more powerful, more destructive, and painful than love." pg 151
The cease fire agreement split the North and South in 1953 . She thought the North was almost exhausted "I believed they could have been defeated if the war just held on" pg 273 but with that her hopes of finding her son faded so the end of the war did not fill her with joy.
There is a big gaps from the end of the war to the immigration of Helie and her parent to America and again to the grandmother in America and Helie re-connecting with family in Korea but the overall story is compelling and informative - and full of love.
From daughter to grandmother we hear about a life of duty, adventure and most of all love. The traditional Koran society, the trials of occupation and war, the separations and reunion of family.
Helie Lee's grandmother is "a woman of unshakeable conviction and great heart" pg 16 says her cousin when Helie returns to Korea to understand her heritage. Her grandmother's memories, summarized on pg 315, are the outline of a life and the reasons her parents came to America - so Helie could be Korean and proud of that identity.
So much changed over her grandmother's lifetime - just as it does generation to generation everywhere. Her experience of marriage was not smooth but nevertheless "It was a love separate from passion, a love that surpassed the flesh and would flourish long into old age" pg89 Her experience of national identity "many..centuries ago our three countries were once the same....bitter battles raged between brothers, because love soured turned to bitter hate. There was no emotion more powerful, more destructive, and painful than love." pg 151
The cease fire agreement split the North and South in 1953 . She thought the North was almost exhausted "I believed they could have been defeated if the war just held on" pg 273 but with that her hopes of finding her son faded so the end of the war did not fill her with joy.
There is a big gaps from the end of the war to the immigration of Helie and her parent to America and again to the grandmother in America and Helie re-connecting with family in Korea but the overall story is compelling and informative - and full of love.
January 11, 2011
Engrossing and insightful memoir of the life of the author's Korean grandmother, Hongyong Baek, from 1912 to the 1970s, a period during which Korea experienced Japanese occupation, WWII, the resulting split between North and South, the Korean War, and the jarring effects thereafter: searches for refuge, tent cities, impoverished citizens, death, disease, broken families, attempts to rebuild. Throughout, Hongyong's personal struggles are enough to bear: a crippled sister left to die ultimately survives; a mother's oppressive attempts to teach her how to be an dutiful woman; an arranged marriage that thrusts her into womanhood; successful forays into the sesame oil, opium, and restaurant businesses while in China (attempting to dodge Japanese rule); births and miscarriages; a husband's adultery. The insight into the culture of Korea in the first half of the 1900s was especially enlightening: male dominated and Neo-Confucianist, marriages were arranged, women were nothing more than glorified, child-bearing servants, kisaeng houses were socially accepted, female babies were sometimes tossed aside. It's interesting to think that North Korea is viewed as the backwards one now, while South Korea thrives, but really the North is just the half of Korea that hasn't progressed since before WWII; North and South are cut from the same, far-reaching cloth. Also interesting to think about my past, linked with Korea's past. Another review states, "In a moment of clarity, however, we realize that we are all Helie Lee, scarred products of our family history. ... A bridge must be constructed between the past and the present."
July 17, 2018
4 stars
Still Life With Rice is not only a captivating memoir but an extremely timely book in light of what is going on in North Korea. Most of us know little to nothing about North Korea's history. This is a window into the times and events that led up to the Korea we know today.
The author writes a "memoir" of her grandmother who was born and raised in a unified Korea near the capital. This is a socially repressive time, when the Japanese controlled the country. As a child, she is taught prescribed rolls for a daughter, woman and wife. Yet it is she, not her husband, who comes up with ways to provide for their family and survive. First, they open a restaurant/market that is very successful. Then they move to China for a time, where she gets them into the opium business as a way to bring in more income. The family moves back to Korea and buys land. But now, the Communists have taken over and their land is appropriated by the new government, leaving them essentially penniless. What was once a very rich family now has nothing.
Helie Lee writes in her grandmother's voice; however, she also describes in her own experience as an Asian-American woman in California (where her grandmother eventually emigrated) and her search to find more information about her grandmother's story.
I would not have picked this book, but it was a selection of one of my book clubs. I'm so glad they chose it. This is a window into a world we rarely hear about. I strongly recommend it.
Still Life With Rice is not only a captivating memoir but an extremely timely book in light of what is going on in North Korea. Most of us know little to nothing about North Korea's history. This is a window into the times and events that led up to the Korea we know today.
The author writes a "memoir" of her grandmother who was born and raised in a unified Korea near the capital. This is a socially repressive time, when the Japanese controlled the country. As a child, she is taught prescribed rolls for a daughter, woman and wife. Yet it is she, not her husband, who comes up with ways to provide for their family and survive. First, they open a restaurant/market that is very successful. Then they move to China for a time, where she gets them into the opium business as a way to bring in more income. The family moves back to Korea and buys land. But now, the Communists have taken over and their land is appropriated by the new government, leaving them essentially penniless. What was once a very rich family now has nothing.
Helie Lee writes in her grandmother's voice; however, she also describes in her own experience as an Asian-American woman in California (where her grandmother eventually emigrated) and her search to find more information about her grandmother's story.
I would not have picked this book, but it was a selection of one of my book clubs. I'm so glad they chose it. This is a window into a world we rarely hear about. I strongly recommend it.
June 16, 2008
I don't think the author is the best writer, but the true story about her grandmother makes a great read.
The grandmother, Hongyong, lived in Korea and then moved to China to escape the Japanese occupation. They then returned to Korea during the Korean war and most of the family made it to South Korea before the border closed. The story is about her life -- her parents, sisters, husband, children and all of her business enterprises (including smuggling opium, selling sesame oil and starting a restaurant).
My favorite part of reading the book was to see over that generation how the culture changed with regard to women. Hongyong had no choice in her husband and she was expected to be submissive in everything. But as life happened, she took the lead in the family and by the time her daughter married, arranged marriages were no longer common.
My least favorite part was the husband's actions, particularly his trips to the tea house -- especially when his wife was the sole reason he was wealthy. And I hated the way his wife made excuses for him.
But its a interesting book -- made me want to write a book about my grandma.
The grandmother, Hongyong, lived in Korea and then moved to China to escape the Japanese occupation. They then returned to Korea during the Korean war and most of the family made it to South Korea before the border closed. The story is about her life -- her parents, sisters, husband, children and all of her business enterprises (including smuggling opium, selling sesame oil and starting a restaurant).
My favorite part of reading the book was to see over that generation how the culture changed with regard to women. Hongyong had no choice in her husband and she was expected to be submissive in everything. But as life happened, she took the lead in the family and by the time her daughter married, arranged marriages were no longer common.
My least favorite part was the husband's actions, particularly his trips to the tea house -- especially when his wife was the sole reason he was wealthy. And I hated the way his wife made excuses for him.
But its a interesting book -- made me want to write a book about my grandma.
March 20, 2016
The author of this book, Helie Lee, recounts her grandmother Hongyong Baek's life in North Korea, from childhood up through her eventual move to California late in life. The time period covered is extensive, and while I was immediately put off by cultural mores I atavistically rejected, I was slowly drawn into this woman's life story, and became fascinated to keep learning about the history and society of North Korea throughout the 1900's. Certain sections of this book were pretty hard to read, and the act of turning the pages started to feel almost self-brutalizing as atrocities began to pile atop one another, each fresh horror inconceivably topping the one that came before it. I'm not being overly dramatic here either. It's truly amazing to me what a human being can survive. That being said, I'm ultimately very glad to have read this book and to have gotten a glimpse into a different corner of this planet, and another person's journey on it.
As a brief side note, this was a book that I read for my book club, and it again reminded me why BC's are so great. I would never in a million years have picked this out for myself. Cheers to book clubs everywhere!
As a brief side note, this was a book that I read for my book club, and it again reminded me why BC's are so great. I would never in a million years have picked this out for myself. Cheers to book clubs everywhere!
September 7, 2016
I liked this book about the author's grandmother from Korea. It chronicles her grandmother's early life in a wealthy Korean household, through her marriage, her move to China to escape Japanese rule in Korea, the opium empire she built in China, her escape from North to South Korea during that war, and her immigration to America. It was an extraordinary and difficult life with some aspects to be admired and some behaviors that were shocking. It definitely held my interest and helped me learn more about the Korean culture and history of that period. The two things that I didn't appreciate about that book was that it didn't give enough background information about the historical events that were dictating her life and it was so detailed that it was clear that the author used a free hand in telling her grandmother's stories. It made me unclear about how much of the story was historical and how much was historical fiction. I considered giving it three stars just for that reason... but it was a good story which I enjoyed an learned from, so I kept it at four.
November 27, 2013
I really loved this book. I couldn’t stop talking about it to everyone around me. The writing was good, the detail was amazing, and the stories were perfect. I love that one woman’s life could take you through so much of what happened in Korea in the 20th century.She lives through Japanese Colonization,the World Wars, the Korean War...everything. And as a young mom with many kids and an often struggling husband. Through one woman’s life I was able to learn so much history and understand it better. Her story is remarkable and as a woman she is truly inspiring. I really felt like through this book I was able to grasp these events in Korea much better. And if you like religious stuff, there are some really powerful religious experiences and thoughts given in this book as well. If you don't like religious stuff, those parts are just good insight into her culture. I couldn't stop recommending this book to people. It is a life changer.
March 12, 2016
Can I give this ten stars?! I'm so completely overwhelmed with love for this book I don't even think I can properly review it.
After over a dozen North Korean memoirs of various themes and backgrounds, this may be the one the most powerful books I've read, period. It chronicles the life of a woman growing up in Korea during the Japanese occupation, her life during the war, her amazing escape from north to south of the 38th parallel, and her eventual immigration to America, all told by her American born granddaughter.
Powerful, emotionally gripping (I found myself bursting into tears at one point - not typical reading behavior of mine), and poignant, written with passion and exquisite detail. If you have to read one memoir of North Korea, read this one.
After over a dozen North Korean memoirs of various themes and backgrounds, this may be the one the most powerful books I've read, period. It chronicles the life of a woman growing up in Korea during the Japanese occupation, her life during the war, her amazing escape from north to south of the 38th parallel, and her eventual immigration to America, all told by her American born granddaughter.
Powerful, emotionally gripping (I found myself bursting into tears at one point - not typical reading behavior of mine), and poignant, written with passion and exquisite detail. If you have to read one memoir of North Korea, read this one.
July 11, 2008
I don't know why I tend to rate historical books higher than fiction; it must be a character quirk, but if so, it's not one I'm trying to get rid of.
It took me a little while to get into this book. It seemed that the beginning, though an interesting look into Korean culture, felt as though the author were trying to inject a little of her modern thought into the thoughts and beliefs of her grandmother (the story is told in the first person, although written by the granddaughter of main character).
I enjoyed the last half of the book, and by then was truly invested in the characters. It was interesting--and tragic--to see the Korean War from the perspective of a civilian.
It took me a little while to get into this book. It seemed that the beginning, though an interesting look into Korean culture, felt as though the author were trying to inject a little of her modern thought into the thoughts and beliefs of her grandmother (the story is told in the first person, although written by the granddaughter of main character).
I enjoyed the last half of the book, and by then was truly invested in the characters. It was interesting--and tragic--to see the Korean War from the perspective of a civilian.
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