5★
“With Gert, I do not mind going to new places. If I am alone, I do not like new places, since it’s easy to become lost or kidnapped and held for ransom.”
It’s Zelda’s 21st birthday, and she’s an adult today. Her older brother Gert, with whom she lives, has already surprised her with a Viking stripper who makes balloon animals (but doesn’t strip today). She thinks he’s great
“He looked like he could defeat hordes of villains and commit acts of bravery, like Beowulf . . .”
Zelda’s favourite book is “Keppel’s Guide to the Vikings”, which she follows as a sort of life-guide to help with rules for behaviour. She frequently spouts Viking phrases, but she doesn’t dress up, like a Trekkie. She explains fairly early in the book why she is the way she is.
“I do not like people who are drunk in general and especially not Gert, since Mom was drunk when I was in her stomach and that is why I am different, which is a better way of saying retarded. Gert did not drink very much when he and AK47 were together.“
Zelda is a terrific character with an infectious personality. Yes, she’s awkward and outspoken and frank and sometimes embarrassing, but she’s also earnest and honest and caring and thoughtful. She and Gert are living on their own and have household rules which are posted on the wall, and it makes her uncomfortable when visitors don’t follow the rules – if they don’t take their shoes off, for example.
It’s the middle of the night, Gert has brought a young woman home, and Zelda woke up. She peeks out her door, sees he’s drunk and she hasn’t taken off her shoes. When Gert goes to the bathroom, Zelda makes her move.
“This was the time to confront the intruder to the house, while she was alone and did not expect to be confronted. This was a battle tactic the Vikings employed – attacking at night so that they caught their enemies unaware. I jumped out from the hallway and stood behind her and said, “WHO GOES THERE,” in a booming voice.”
You can imagine the reaction. Then Zelda says “Identify yourself” and then “You cannot pass.”
That will give you some idea of Zelda. She is very aware that she’s different, but by golly she has found a way to work with the world, in the world, and she’s not taking nonsense from anybody. She has a boyfriend, Marxy, and friends at the centre, but her best friend is AK47, Gert’s former girlfriend who was said to have a laugh like a machine gun, hence Zelda’s nickname for her.
“AK47 is fearless. When it comes to Viking things, she is the person most like the Valkyries. That was one of the reason why Gert fell in love with her. She could take his shit. Other people are afraid of him, but he is afraid of AK47, especially when she gives him THE LOOK. . .
THE LOOK is like a missile, which actually didn’t exist in the time of the Vikings. A missile goes from one place or another and explodes the villains. AK47 does THE LOOK and like a missile it explodes whoever she shoots it at. Gert is not a villain, but sometimes he does villain things and she needs to explode him back to normal.”
Gert is taking courses at university but mixes with some dodgy characters outside of school, and Zelda senses that there’s something off about them. The story does take some dark turns, and Zelda is troubled by “grendels” in the walls and bad thoughts shouting at her, exploding in her head.
It is not a feel-good sweet story, because there are proper villains and actual bad things that happen (and grendels in the walls), but it IS a feel-good story because you can’t help admiring Zelda’s enthusiasm and initiative. She has the candidness of a small child but the sensitivity of an older person who tries to think of others.
Her therapist, Dr. Laird, helps her translate her Viking rules to everyday life. (We should all be so lucky as to know a Dr. Laird.) She has friends at the community centre she attends, each with their own challenges, some of whom she understands will never be as independent as she is, but no matter. She loves them anyway, so how could we not also?
Great characters, great story, a firm favourite! Thanks to Scout Press, Simon and Schuster, for the print copy for review. It’s wonderful.