Real Talk About Sex and Consent: What Every Teen Needs to Know

by Cheryl M. Bradshaw MA

You deserve clear, accurate information about sexual consent! Let this honest and empowering book be your go-to guide.

Let’s get real: Sex is complicated. Like, really complicated. And as a teen, you need trusted resources to help you navigate sexual issues without shame, guilt, or judgment. But if you’re like many teens, you may not have someone in your life that you can talk to openly about complicated sexual situations, and what consent really means—and this information is crucial for your health, safety, and happiness.

Real Talk About Sex and Consent is a comprehensive guide with essential information about setting boundaries, coercion, reciprocity, and communication. You’ll also find hard facts about sex and trauma, the effects of pornography and cultural expectations, and much more. With this book, you’ll learn how to make sexual decisions that honor your sense of values and cultivate rewarding and emotionally supportive relationships throughout your life.

This book goes past simple definitions of sex and consent and explores the hidden pressures, misrepresented expectations, and realities of sex—and what to do about it all.

It’s time to get informed and take control of your sexual self. This book will give you the tools you need to make decisions that are right for you.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help

200 pages, Paperback

Published October 1, 2020

Reviews

[yun with books · Rating 4 out of 5]

There’s a quote that goes like this: “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who matter don’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter.”

Read in English, review in Bahasa Indonesia
Kesimpulan awal setelah membaca buku ini adalah:


Saya merasa senang menemukan bacaan yang super enlightening seperti buku Real Talk About Sex and Consent: What Every Teen Needs to Know ini. Dengan jumlah halaman yang tidak terlalu banyak, yaitu hanya +-190 halaman, buku ini memberikan perspektif yang padat, lugas dan jelas bagi pembaca yang awam dan bingung harus mempelajari tentang consent dalam aspek berhubungan (secara berhubungan intim dan/atau secara umum).
Mengapa saya katakan buku ini sangat enlightening karena dengan hanya dengan 6 bab, buku ini mampu memberikan jawaban yang membantu saya memahami aspek-aspek apa saja yang harus diketahui jika kita memulai untuk melakukan hubungan intim dan/atau hubungan secara umum dengan orang lain.

• Bab 1: Sex and You
Di dalam bab ini kita diberikan penjelasan mengenai pengertian apa itu sex dan relasinya terhadap gender di dalam struktur masyarakat. Dijelaskan pula mengenai relasi antara fisik dan mental kita dalam sejauh mana kesiapan kita untuk mengambil keputusan kapan, di mana, dengan siapa, mengapa, dan/atau bagaimana kita akan melakukan hubungan seksual.
Poin utama pada bab ini adalah bahwa kita harus mengenal diri kita sendiri terlebih dahulu, sadar secara lahir dan batik sebelum memulai menjalin hubungan romantis dan/atau lebih spesifik untuk menjalani hubungan seksual dengan orang lain. Karena, menurut buku ini segala "akar" kita menjadi pribadi yang dapat menghormati dan/atau memberikan consent kepada orang lain dimulai dari sendiri terlebih dahulu.

• Bab 2: What is Consent?
Bab ini menjadi favorit saya, karena bab ini menjelaskan hal-hal yang selama ini saya pikir saya ketahui, padahal tidak sama sekali. Mengenai consent. Ternyata konsep consent tidak semudah kelihatannya, tidak segampang berkata "tidak" atau "ya", banyak berbagai aspek yang melatarbelakangi mengapa sebuah consent tersebut dalam tercipta secara mutual.

"Consent is empowerment!"

• Bab 3: Communicating with Consent
Pada bab ini dijelaskan lebih dalam dari kacamata Cheryl M. Bradshaw mengenai jenis-jenis dan pola-pola yang dapat dilakukan untuk bisa mengaplikasikan sebuah consent itu sendiri. Setelah membaca buku ini, tidak semudah menggelengkan dan/atau menganggukan kepala untuk mencapai sebuah consent.

"And consent isn’t just a question and answer. It isn’t just someone asking, “Do you want to…?” and someone else answering with “yes” or “no.” Consent is a complete way of approaching sexual intimacy from the ground up."

• Bab 4 dan 5 dijelaskan mengenai cara pengaplikasian dari konsep dan teori di atas, yang menurut saya sangat AJAIB dan PINTAR! Maka dari itu saya pikir, buku ini sangat amat membantu saya untuk lebih memahami relasi antara diri sendiri dan/atau relasi dengan orang lain.

• Bab 6, dikhususkan membahas mengenai pelecehan seksual yang menjadi permasalahan besar belakangan ini. Menurut saya bab ini adalah bab yang krusial dan paling sulit dibaca untuk sebagian orang.

Overall, saya sangat menyarankan buku ini menjadi buku pocket yang bisa kalian baca dan bawa kemana-mana untuk bisa lebih memahami mengenai relasi antara diri sendiri, seks dan consent.

[Nichole · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is an excellent resource for teenagers to learn about sex and consent. It goes further into detail than anything I've seen. The brain science stuff is great- detailed enough to be really academic, but absolutely not bogged down. It helps explain why we react the way we do in situations. This is also a great resource for people who work with teens to have a good vocabulary to be able to talk to them about these things. Teens have questions and sometimes it's hard to know how to answer them. It will also help people who work with teens to infuse consent into everyday conversations.

[Kariane (bookish.introvert_) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thanks to NetGalley for the eARC.

Right off the bat, the author of this book engages the reader by establishing a connection with them. The writing makes you feel comfortable, which I think is important as this book deals with some very important things. Sex and Consent are not things to be taken lightly and Cheryl M. Bradshaw does a great job of talking about them using simple and clear words.

Before the book actually starts, the author explains a little bit of what the reader can expect to find while reading. This way, there are no surprises. I did find that the book got a bit repetitive at times, but I do understand why that was the case. These are sensitive topics, but they must be talked about and the repetition is key in helping the reader understand the importance of consent. The use of examples and scenarios is also very helpful.

Overall, this was a great book and I think it should be read by everyone, not only teens.

[Garth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recently read "Real Talk about Sex & Consent" and enjoyed it very much. Although I am no longer a teen (that phase is long gone) and have none in my life, I still liked Cheryl’s description of the "Survival House" and what to look for when someone isn't feeling safe. I also liked one sentence at the end of her book " If you are a cisgender male, you can use your privilege for good..." My interest in Consent Culture goes way beyond sexual intimacy and I'm very aware of the effects of developmental trauma on my health and its connection to what bell hooks calls "War culture" in her book "Will to Change" and what many feminists call "Rape Culture". It was nice to see that she recognizes that males can be traumatized too and that we aren't just potential rapists or perpetrators of violence as seems to be a very common perspective. We can do good too. Garth

[Elizabeth Swift · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this was an amazing book for everyone who is new to sex and maneuvering through today's world of "dating". Especially, for the more naive person who is new to knowing how to deal with a sexual relationship. I wasn't too happy with some of the current "woke" referrals, but there was so much that I wish I had heard when I was ready to date. Almost a "must read" for kids and their parents to make sure they come out of this relationship stage as whole as possible. You also should watch the "Tea" video about when consent is needed. In both, the emphasis is on mutually agreeing to whatever level of touch you want at any given moment, your ability to always change your mind and say no, the hope that you understand that all of this applies to the other person, also!

[Kathy Meulen Ellison · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a timely and important book that seeks to help teens better understand the importance of consent in creating and maintaining healthy relationships. And it is definitely "real talk." The author's matter of fact tone and willingness to address extremely tough subjects head on will resonate with teens. There are a lot of necessary digressions because there is so much that is wrapped up in the concept of consent. I appreciate her adding the "myth busting" sections which break up the text.

I share the author's hopefulness that this generation of young adults might actually be able to succeed in having straight talk about consent.

[Ben Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

An excellent and very up-front guide for teenagers and young adults about sex and consent, this has no time for parents or anyone else with less open-minded views on sexuality. And it is so much better for it. Consent is discussed in a lot of detail and from a range of different angles (legal, social, cultural, power, etc.), and practical tips given for dealing with tricky situations. At times, it starts to feel a little technical and dry, but the next real-world scenario is never far away. Would I want my own teenage daughter and son to read it? Absolutely. And I would want as many of their peers as possible to do so as well.

I received this book free from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Kim · Rating 3 out of 5]

There is a lot of important information in these pages, and I appreciate Bradshaw’s frank and conversational writing style. However, I have trouble imagining teens sticking with the text-heavy format. The HOT SPICE acronym doesn’t really work, and the whole “survival house” analogy gets a little convoluted.

I’d love to see this author’s content in a more appealing and accessible package.

Two and a half stars rounded up.

[Mx.Lucey · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great self-help book! I love the inclusion of LGBT+ people which are rarely included in sex education. I highly recommend this be included in sex education classes. The diagrams are very helpful and easy to understand.

[Robyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

The title is very on point. And, not just for teens, but it could even be for those in their 20's because that is also a time period where situations involving consent come into play. I liked the straightforward, concise, and clear verbiage as well as the examples and tips.

[Shannon Vanderhyde · Rating 5 out of 5]

All teens should read this!

[Liv · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you grew up in purity culture & are now an adult, you need to read this one.

[Karthika · Rating 5 out of 5]

What is consent? - this is explained in detail in this book. The 'Survival House' model was brilliant. There is so much of science-based information. Highly recommend!

[Jamie · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars - I liked this book.
3 stars - I would recommend this to some - sex educators, parents, or people interested in the content.

[Cheyanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

This should be required reading for high schoolers