Beautiful & Full of Monsters

by Courtney LeBlanc

Love isn’t always pretty, yet most of us choose to remain constant in its pursuit. These poems unwrap the mythos of romance with the clairvoyance of a writer who knows the best and worst of relationships inside and out. LeBlanc dares to honestly show us how even when the best of intentions fail, we can always find beauty if we stay true to the monsters in ourselves.

**
A reckless love is everywhere in these poems, along with the risks we take to be in the presence of the beloved, and how violence can sometimes flow alongside passion. Near the end of this journey, LeBlanc confesses, I write poems . . . to keep the monster in the closet. Here, then, are her beautiful monsters.

~ Nick Flynn, author of I Will Destroy You and The Ticking is the Bomb

The poems that make up Courtney LeBlanc’s debut collection, Beautiful and Full of Monsters are self-conscious in the way love always is always self-conscious. These poems are dispatches, slices of confession cut from an unfiltered human life. LeBlanc searches the rubble of dissolved love, entanglements, and desire to find and polish cracked pebbles and allow them to gleam. The search for certainty in the chaos of desire is a task for an optimist, and LeBlanc’s work remains hopeful, even when navigating assault, abuse, and pain. Even as she falls in and out of love with herself and her lovers.

~ Seema Reza, author of A Constellation of Half-Lives and When the World Breaks Open

Courtney LeBlanc invites us into her newest collection by a title, Beautiful and Full of Monsters, that prepares us for the tension-filled poems we are about to experience, a tension that never flags. LeBlanc is, indeed, a master of the erotic poem—always a challenge for the less confident, less daring poet. This stunningly evocative collection lures the reader into a world of sensual and sensuous relationships woven in and out of each other—laying bear all the complex emotions of the human heart in love and in lust): tenderness and pain, heartbreak and healing.

~ Cathy Smith Bowers, author of Like Shining from Shook Foil and A Book of Minutes

Genres: Poetry

72 pages, Paperback

First published March 10, 2020

About the author

Courtney LeBlanc is the author of the full-length collections Her Dark Everything; Her Whole Bright Life (winner of the Jack McCarthy Book Prize); Exquisite Bloody, Beating Heart; and Beautiful & Full of Monsters. She is the Arlington County Poet Laureate and the founder and editor-in-chief of Riot in Your Throat, an independent poetry press. She’s also the founder of the Poetry Coven, a monthly generative workshop she runs out of her home. She loves nail polish, tattoos, and a soy latte each morning. Find her online at www.courtneyleblanc.com.


Find her on Instagram: @wordperv79
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Reviews

[Courtney LeBlanc · Rating 5 out of 5]

Yes, I wrote this book. I hope you love reading it as much as I loved writing it. (Okay, writing it was sometimes painful and awful, but such is writing!)

[Ace Boggess · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is perfectly titled. A collection of poems I'd describe as mostly confessional, it moves so smoothly between outrage and tenderness that it feels like a dance--perfectly choreographed, pulling the reader through a whole range of emotions. The first section explores struggles and horrors, the second romance and romantic failings, before the third blooms with a rich mix of passionate meditations. I loved everything about this book. It flows. It burns. It entices. The author has a talent not only for writing poems but for placing them in just the right order as well. The reader will every piece as an extension of the last. It's a wonderful experience. I can't recommend this book enough.

[Christopher Margolin · Rating 4 out of 5]

from http://www.thepoetryquestion.com

REVIEW: BEAUTIFUL & FULL OF MONSTERS – COURTNEY LeBLANC (VEGETARIAN ALCOHOLIC PRESS)

Maybe future me can travel back
to previous me and give guidance.
Perhaps future me can convince
current me to let him go, walk away,
move on. Perhaps past me can
remind me I’ve made these mistakes
before. Perhaps current me could listen.
– from “Past Lives”

Somewhere between Nature and Nurture lies our monster. It’s in our minds, our mouths, our fists, and our mirrors. It’s who we are when least expected. It’s the big feelings we can’t explain. It’s the reason we cower in the dark. It’s the reason we raise our voices to those we are said to love. It’s the reason some loves end or begin or don’t.

In Courtney LeBlanc’s Beautiful & Full of Monsters (Vegetarian Alcoholic Press), monster is abuse and challenge and a fear of self. It is the person who is supposed to love without the broken plaster. Our defender turned demonstrative. Turned devil with all the details of your life – everything to hold against you instead of just holding you. This is a story of survival and betrayal and love lost when it should have mattered more.

LeBlanc has written a pensive and powerful look at love and all it is supposed to be. It’s a reminder that sometimes we have to unravel our lives. We have to pull the strings until we find our beginning – until we remind ourselves that it’s okay to begin.

Purchase your copy of Beautiful & Full of Monsters from Vegetarian Alcoholic Press.

[Lynne Schmidt · Rating 3 out of 5]

This collection of poetry knocked in wind out of me so many times. So many raw feelings, so much vivid detail. It is hard for me to pick which poem was my favorite because there were so many things to enjoy about it.

[Elizabeth Johnston · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a beautifully human book, fully engaging from the gorgeous cover to the last infinitely relatable poem. As each poem reflects on the consequences of desire, they are collectively rife with longing, regret, and doubt, but also hope and resilience.

Those who have been in abusive relationships will especially appreciate the authenticity of LeBlanc's voice.

For example, the poem "If Only" holds society accountable for the ways its trains girls into passivity, into internalizing their own objectification:

"If only they hadn't plied me
with beer and Southern comfort.
If only my mother/father/sister/brother
had taught me my body
wasn't a commodity to trade."

The second section of the book moves the reader forward with erotic water imagery and metaphor, as in "Afloat," in which the speaker wistfully remembers her distant lover: "The island is our sanctuary/the only place we exist." Or as in "Drown," when the speaker is at once overwhelmed with love and desire as well as the fear of loving and being loved:

"I don't tell him I dreamt
of drowning, of him on the shore,
with my other. My other holding
him back as he tried to save me."

I also really loved "Numbers"; on my second marriage, too, the lines "This is my second/ marriage so the odds are worse" rung so true for me.

The title is truly fitting---beautiful poems full of monsters, but also poetry that can help us to reimagine the speaker's monsters....and perhaps some of our own.

[Kristin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful & Full of Monsters, by Courtney LeBlanc is in turns brutal and beautiful. Courtney describes violence in raw, blunt tones, while incorporating romantic imagery and relief in way of hope. In “Afloat” she writes, “I draw maps on his skin / write love letters the tide / will wash away. We are not / safe in our cathedral of sand / but still we worship…” This collection feels honest and I suspect anyone who has ever loved or wanted love will see themselves in some of her poems. Another of my favorite excerpts is from “I Should Have Said.” “When you shoved the coffee table, sent my collection / of sea glass swimming, bits of blue and green, / a tsunami swirling around us.” Courtney’s collection is full of striking imagery, of lightning and ocean waves, of hummingbirds and mood rings. It’s a collection I’m sure to turn to again.

Courtney LeBlanc also keeps a strong online presence. She’s been featured recently in interviews and I’ve taken the opportunity to watch her reading her work online, through Facebook or Twitter. I’ve also had the treat of hearing her read in person twice. It’s worth finding an opportunity to catch her reading her own poems if you can.

[Christine Kindberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Captivating and heart-wrenching poems show the power of love and its loss. Fabulously wrought!

[Caroline Earleywine · Rating 4 out of 5]

The title of this book brilliantly echoes the three sections of the book, and is a perfect depiction of embracing all parts of a person and a story. There’s a fearlessness, both in the speaker being willing to face the monster within her and with the boldness of the erotic and the intimacy revealed. Every page is filled with a tension:

“In hotels bars men buy me drinks and hope /
For a night between my thighs. /
Sometimes I let them
lean close”

This book is an exploration of a woman who dares to desire it all.

“I could fall in love a million times a day /
but I keep holding on to him, keep crushing /
the crushes”

[Whitneyrobertshill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Arresting poems that describe love in all its forms-- from the heartbreakingly doomed, to the erotic, and redemptive, this collection plunges deep into the truth of romantic entanglement in a way that is imminently readable. I picked it up and couldn't put it down. The language is lush, the metaphors sharp, and the rhythm so enticing that I swallowed the whole thing in one sitting. Buy it for yourself, for your sister/friend, for anyone anywhere who might resonate with the voice of a powerful woman in an evolving landscape of love.

[Candice Daquin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having come to Courtney LeBlanc's work later than I'd have wished, I fully emersed myself in the first book of hers I have read, Beautiful & Full of Monsters. LeBlanc is an edgy writer, who parlays between instinct and exquisitely learned methods of writing, to encompass the most challenging subjects we as humans must contemplate. In this collection, LeBlanc confronts the relationship monster, the dark and light sides of love, intertwined with an uncanny understanding of human nature. In her poem I Should Have Said, which in title alone, shows a rare brilliance in comprehending the human-psyche, LeBlanc writes; “When you shoved the coffee table, sent my collection / of sea glass swimming, bits of blue and green, / a tsunami swirling around us.” Her art is in visualization, and then taking that image and playing it like a film, translated into words on paper. It's such a rare ability to confront the reader like a photograph, and in our viewing of LeBlanc's astute, searing at times, shocking imagery, the ultimate truth of who we are. Whether you have ever experienced this directly, or simply relate to elements within, you will find yourself unnerved, addicted and appreciative of LeBlanc's mastery of language and emotion. The finest heart of her writing, is in her unique perception, among the debris and miniscule observations, that draw you closer and closer to the beating heart of Beautiful & Full of Monsters. It's an outrageously gorgeous write, from a wicked talent, who spins imagery like a priestess with black nails and a mind of multiverses.

[Mike · Rating 5 out of 5]

The title, “Beautiful and Full of Monsters,” describes the book itself, the poems, the men in the poems, the speaker, and the mess and violence and tenderness of love and desire, too.

What I find most interesting here is the reckoning with what it means to be monstrous. There’s a point around the middle of the book where the speaker says she doesn’t want to paint the man she’s speaking of as a monster, though she has previously described monstrous acts committed by him. In the first half or so of the book, we see a certain wildness in opposition to the control and abuse the speaker has endured, a flame like a phoenix rising once she is free. And yet as the poems continue, this same wildness and the desire that feeds it and which it feeds become something that seem to threaten the new, more gentle and nourishing love that the speaker wants to keep. It complicates the narrative established in the book’s first section and makes the collection as a whole add up to more than the sum of its parts.

[Virginia]

What lies beneath the careful masks and personas that we have all created for ourselves? Who are we when we are most vulnerable? These are just some of the thought provoking questions that Courtney LeBlanc’s Beautiful & Full of Monsters strikingly explores. I have read the book several times over and each time, I discover something new about the poems and myself. I can’t begin to describe how deeply these writings have touched me.

The project is clearly intimate, taking on issues of feminism, abuse, love, lust and the complex relationships we have with ourselves and others. This is not the poetry of your classic literature college course, but a three part, in depth chronicle of the life of people contending with real life heartaches and joys. There is a subtle undercurrent of melancholy that will make you feel the power of LeBlanc’s prose.

It also must be said that the cover artwork perfectly captures the essence of the poems.

This collection is stunning. Buy this book!

[Shaindel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Courtney LeBlanc's first full-length collection, Beautiful & Full of Monsters is a powerful volume chronicling the everyday violence committed against women in our society.

I'll give a few lines of the poem "If Only" as an example:

If only I hadn't been seventeen
and certain
I was ready to be an adult.
If only he hadn't been twenty-one
and unafraid
of the word statutory.

LeBlanc explores not just relationships between women and men but the ways that women save each other.

From "On Asking a Friend if She Will Be My Safe House":

She drops the key into my open
hand. We drink more wine, talk
of other things. She eyes
me over her glass, searches
my exposed skin for bruises.
She'll never find any, I'd leave
if he hit me.

This is an outstanding collection, one that everyone should read.

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

Writing a review for a brilliant writer feels impossible.

I feel like I’m basically saying

Poems real good.

But I’ll try.

Haunting and visceral and soul-baring and honest. It was ugly with purpose.

I planned to only read a poem or two. But I was so drawn in, I read all the way through Monsters and was tempted to just keep going. I mustered my will and saved some for the next day.

Then I read the rest. And felt everything.

What a brilliant title, taken from a wise quote.
Because aren’t we all?
#beautifulandfullofmonsters

[Janie · Rating 5 out of 5]

These poems feel so personal and exhibit such raw emotion that, on several occasions, I found myself holding my breath while reading and only exhaling after I finished the last line. They take you to the deepest, darkest depths of failed love with beautiful and sometimes sensual detail. At the same time, you get a sense of the author's healing or at least her work-in-progress toward healing. It's a perfectly named collection of lovely poems!

[Shuly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Courtney is one of the most prolific writers and poets I know. I was thrilled when I heard she had a new collection coming out—I have purchased all of hers. Courtney’s poems often focus on relationships, and she is never timid about talking about subjects that others find more challenging, like sex and domestic violence. Her poems often tell a story. Love, passion, betrayal, empowerment—these themes are all in her latest collection.

[Donna Henderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

In her latest collection, poet Courtney LeBlanc shares her continual climb out of the invisible abyss of toxic love, the complexity of abandoned relationships, and the beauty of mutual desire. She laments missed opportunities to teach her past self lessons she knows only experience and self-acceptance can bring. LeBlanc is a talented and prolific poet and this collection does not disappoint. It is moving, sensual, vulnerable, and incredibly powerful.

[Rowe · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved these confessional poems. Maybe I liked these poems because they read like prose or that I know Courtney LeBlanc in real life, but we don’t have social media connection for whatever that’s worth in reading this review. I think I can be objective. None of these poems rhyme or use pretentious language; they feel real. She writes about the ocean a lot, and I also love the ocean. Her poems are 100% correct.

[Jamie Kessler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful & Full of Monsters cuts to the heart quick; raw emotion and honest experiences, no judgement or pretense. I find myself re-reading these sticky lines as they pull me back more than a few times "I wonder how many lives I've lived, this cannot be the first", "coffee cups between us as the first line of defense", "these numbers mingle with the champagne in my mouth. I swallow them both, fight to keep them down, a riot in my throat."

Full stop. Read this book.

[Marne Wilson · Rating 4 out of 5]

The craft of these poems is wonderful, but in subject matter they are very close to some of mine, all circling the idea of what makes relationships good or bad. It doesn’t say so in her bio, but I discovered when researching the poet online that she is also from North Dakota. Maybe that goes part of the way of explaining why I can identify with these poems so much. But even if you aren’t from North Dakota, these delicate yet fierce poems will break your heart.

[Jason Hull · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is Courtney's best book of poetry so far. The thematic transition from dark (Monsters) to light (Beautiful) takes you on a ride. Either she's had some rough experiences, or she has a vivid imagination. Regardless, if you enjoy emotionally moving poetry and/or her previous works, you'll REALLY love this one.

[Susan Richardson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Courtney Le Blanc's poetry is a force to be reckoned with. Her style is visceral and powerful and this collection delivers in every way. This is poetry that isn't afraid to hold onto the beauty of pain, the strength of what it is to be human. I cannot recommend this collection highly enough.

[Heather Sullivan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had a hard time pacing myself with this book; I wanted to slowly savor each poem, but I also wanted to voraciously devour the next one. Her work is poignant and important. Each one will sit with you long after you put the book down. I will read LeBlanc's words again and again.

[Michael Weyer · Rating 5 out of 5]

These poems transfer thru the phases of the poets theme amazingly. I can only imagine the joy and pain she goes thru when creating. Full by far was my favorite, made me wish that I was the person she was writing about. I'm not a huge fan of poetry but I loved this.

[Katherine Gekker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a strong collection. I felt like I was walking through this book's compelling narrative on the edge of a razor blade.

LeBlanc is masterful about love – its terrible, angry, abusive moments; its passionate, tender moments.

[Anderson Evans · Rating 5 out of 5]

The poems in this collection pulse with erotic electricity and walk you along a knife's edge. Danger lurks in the strokes of a red pen or in stars keeping count. Leblanc's fluid forms create a tempo, like a heartbeat ever-changing. Truly a fantastic collection!

[Kelly Grace Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Stunning use of metaphor and haunting endings that leave the door open. This is such a beautiful collection that speaks about the tides of love, abuse, reclamation. Let this collection wash over you like a wave, alive and full of salt.

[Kendall · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thoroughly engaging and relatable, LeBlanc's poetry gets stronger with each collection. This book evokes a whirlwind of emotion in the reader. Beautiful & Full of Monsters is not to be missed.

[Michael B Tager · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an amazing book of poetry. Sad and contemplative, full of moments of joy that hurt. Courtney is such a wonderful poet.

[Barbara Bowker · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was good but I feel like I wanted more from it.