Why Am I Feeling Like This?: A Teen's Guide to Freedom from Anxiety and Depression

by David P. Murray

A Teenager's Guide to Overcoming Anxiety or Depression If you have experienced anxiety or depression, you may have asked yourself, Why am I feeling like this? You are not alone. In this companion guide to his book for parents  Why Is My Teenager Feeling Like This? ,   pastor and counselor David Murray introduces you to the personal accounts of eighteen teens who have struggled with different types of anxiety or depression. This guide will help you discover not only the common causes but also the keys to unlock their chains. By utilizing God-given truths and tactics, you can experience new liberty, peace, and joy in your life.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Counselling, Christian Living, Christian, Mental Health

144 pages, Paperback

Published July 14, 2020

About the author

Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

David P. Murray is Professor of Old Testament and Practical Theology at Puritan Reformed Theological Seminary. He was born in Glasgow, Scotland, and worked for five years in financial services before being converted to Christ. He studied for the ministry at Glasgow University and the Free Church of Scotland College (Edinburgh). He was a pastor for 12 years, first at Lochcarron Free Church of Scotland and then at Stornoway Free Church of Scotland (Continuing). From 2002 to 2007, he was Lecturer in Hebrew and Old Testament at the Free Church Seminary in Inverness. He has a Doctor of Ministry degree from Reformation International Theological Seminary for his work relating Old Testament Introduction studies to the pastoral ministry. He and his wife, Shona, have four children: Allan, Angus, Joni, and Amy. He also blogs at Head Heart Hand.

Reviews

[Marie Tankersley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this book was helpful, however I think that it would’ve been much more helpful to me three or four years ago before I truly understood my pain. Reading it now, I find it a bit basic, however it is still a meaningful read, and I found having the verses to memorize at the end of each chapter very convenient and had me opening my Bible a more often. I did come away from this book having learned some tips that will stick with me, so I’m glad I read this, even though it was a little more elementary than other materials.

I would recommend skimming the first couple paragraphs of each chapter and then deciding whether it would be beneficial to read about that experience or to move on to another, however, jotting down the biblical texts at the end of each chapter is helpful whether you read the whole chapter or not. I feel like some of the statements in this book could be taken the wrong way by a younger teenager, so guidance from an adult would be beneficial in that circumstance.

I would highly recommend this to a teenager who is sad or worried without much obvious reason and doesn’t know much about mental illness, but would like to move on from the pain he or she is feeling.

[Mikejencostanzo · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Why Am I Feeling Like This?" offers a surprisingly broad exploration of teen emotional struggles, extending beyond what the title might suggest about solely anxiety and depression. While rooted in these core issues, the book delves into 18 relatable "real-life" scenarios, from Flavia's doubts to Will's workaholism and Brianna's body image concerns. Readers navigating these challenges will likely find validation and helpful insights.

Though the anxiety/depression link isn't always immediately apparent in each case, thoughtful consideration reveals underlying connections. While I might have preferred a title reflecting this wider scope of teen emotional experiences, the book serves as a valuable resource for those directly grappling with these issues. Reading it with my 15-year old offered instructive perspectives on the diverse struggles teens face, fostering empathy and awareness, even if we weren't the primary audience. It's a worthwhile read for those seeking to understand and navigate complex adolescent emotions.

I should also mention, each chapter offers a before and after look at the life of a teen working on a specific issue, plus steps to apply, and an application section including personal questions, a verse to memorize, and a closing prayer.

~Jen

[Jeanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

When you need to find out who God is, we often go wrong wrong with Who Am I.

Our teens are suffering greatly from depression and anxiety. In the time of this writing we were in the beginning of Covid and now we are in gender identity. Peer pressure, wanting to be excepted, expectations, and the list goes on. Not only is this a good book for teens to read but parents as well. A great way to discuss and work thru these feelings. I myself do not always understand my own feelings and how it to work thru them so with our children we need to be a support and guide.

This text puts the focus on who God is and serving him. Realigning our purpose to something that is bigger than us. One of the key components is identity. Who we are and who is God. Those questions if answered incorrectly can lead us to a life of despair and anxiety. Are we going to always have the right answers - no but the search is the journey and the relationship we hold on to.

A special thank you to Crossway Publishing and Netgalley for the ARC and the opportunity to post an honest review.

[Nathan Farley · Rating 5 out of 5]

David Murray begins the book by showing how a thought (worry) can turn into a feeling (anxiety) and then harm our body (stress). Each chapter following combines biblical truth with counseling practices that I found to be really helpful.

It’s written for teenagers, and he does a good job showing 1) they aren’t crazy 2) God’s word speaks to this issue and 3) there are practical steps you can take to make progress.

This book doesn’t promise to eliminate your anxiety and depression. He acknowledges the complexity of this issue while providing hope that change is possible.

I’ll be using this book in student ministry.

[Michelle Wilson · Rating 4 out of 5]

it’s alright :) good to go back to certain chapters when needed

[Becky · Rating 5 out of 5]

First sentence: Freedom! We long for it and love it. At last, free to be and do what we want. That’s the teen years, right? Our first car, our first job, our first date, our first road trip. These are wonderful moments of increasing independence that we experience in our teen years as our parents gradually release us from their supervision. Freedom is so amazing, isn’t it? We can’t get enough of it, and we can’t get it early enough. But for some of us, our teen years are the opposite of freedom. They are years of increasing bondage. It’s not that an outside force like our parents or teachers imprisons us. No, it’s an inside force that restricts us. Our own thoughts and feelings hold us captive, and we can’t break free from them.

Why Am I Feeling Like This? A Teen's Guide to Freedom from Anxiety and Depression has a companion book geared towards adults (parents, teachers, counselors, pastors, grandparents, etc.)

The book introduces readers to eighteen teens. (I'm assuming names have been changed and/or the teens are composites of multiple teens.)

1. Circular Sarah
2. Tense Tom
3. Doomed Dave (this is the author's testimony)
4. Imaginative Imogen
5. Panicky Paul
6. Faithless Flavia
7. Controlling Colin
8. Depressed Dan
9. Negative Nicole
10. Workaholic Will
11. Beautiful Brianna
12. Media Max
13. Friendly Fiona
14. Bullied Benton
15. Rebellious Rob
16. Perfect Peyton
17. Paralyzed Pam
18. Lonely Luke

A couple of paragraphs illustrates each teen's experience with anxiety, depression, or anxiety and depression. After the introduction, a key is shared. One main key per chapter. This key is the key that that teen said helped improve the situation. An update or follow up from the teen then follows. The chapters close with an activity or exercise to try, a verse to memorize, and a prayer to pray. The book stresses that teen readers are NOT to try using or "turning" all the keys at once. Not all keys will work for all readers. And some keys that will end up working in the end require time and patience.

This is the exercise for chapter one:

The next time you feel anxious or depressed, use the key of understanding. Try to view your feelings as an outside observer and briefly describe what you experience in your thoughts, feelings, and body. Instead of getting on the roller coaster, try to think of yourself as a spectator watching it from the sidelines and you are calling your friend to describe it. This may not immediately change your feelings, but it changes the way you relate to them. Write down: • What are my thoughts? • What are my feelings? • What is happening in my body? What was the sequence? What came first, second, and third? Labeling and describing our thoughts and feelings like this reduces their power over us.

The adult book includes these same teens. But my impression from reading the adult book--which includes the two or three paragraph summaries of teens' experiences--was that they were generic stereotypes and not reflective or representative of any actual teen. Perhaps because the adult book didn't include the follow ups? Perhaps because the adult book didn't stress that the main key of each chapter was the one the teen said helped best? Perhaps because the adult book sought to bring in more, more, more, more. Instead of one or two activities per chapter, the author was throwing half a dozen per chapter. Perhaps because there was less narrative quality and more fact-throwing? I don't know.

I definitely got the impression from reading this book that anxiety and depression are normal and natural to humanity. There is help, but you're first and foremost a human being. The adult book I felt tended more towards your teen is a problem to be solved; here are some tools, start experimenting. That could just be me.

Neither book mention the gut microbe. I think if David Murray had bothered to go there--the gut, brain connection--the book would be even better. There is a BIG, BIG, BIG connection between the gut and the brain. Good bacteria can make a HUGE difference in how our brain functions and processes life.

[Renee Young · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the book I wish I had access to 15 years ago (though it was still just as helpful as a 30-something) when I was entangled in anxiety as a teenager, but it didn’t necessarily go by those names—instead, I was Tense Tom, Imaginative Imogen Doomed Dave, Controlling Colin, Beautiful Brianna, Rebellious Rob, Perfect Peyton, and Lonely Luke.

“About one in three teens experience distressing and even disabling anxiety. In fact, it’s now the most common issue for which teens seek counseling,” and “there is no need to hide in shame” (12-13). Our church’s student ministry has given away over 40 copies of this book. With discouraging statistics, I am so encouraged these teens are being given hands-on tools to combat the jumbled and confusing emotions that can rage inside.

David Murray writes a short, effective, and incredibly practical book for teens—every single teen will be able to pick one or more character stories and say, “Yep, that’s me, too.” Though this book is written for teens, any one would benefit from it. The examples given are circumstances a teen would find themselves in as their world is rapidly changing and they are becoming more aware of the change that’s happening inside of them. There are 18 chapters which represent 18 different scenarios of how anxiety and depression can manifest itself in oneself. It would be great as a devotional-like book for a teen to do as it has Scripture memory, questions, practical applications, and a prayer.

What makes the book so unique is that Murray isn’t simply offering a 6-step plan to cure all your depression, but he is giving you gospel-hope while remaining sensitive to the deep struggles we can have.

“One of the ways God answers our prayers is by making Jesus more real and precious to us. If anxiety and depression take Christ out of the picture, prayer puts him back in” (56).

Every teenager should be given a copy of this book, and every parent would grow their empathy and understanding of their child by walking alongside their teen using Murray’s complimentary parent book: ‘Why is My Teenager Feeling Like This? A Guide for Helping Teens through Anxiety and Depression.’

[Emma Katherine · Rating 2 out of 5]

Read my full review here: https://lifesanovelty.blogspot.com/20...




Disclaimer: this review contains statements of OPINION. If you do not agree, don't listen to me! Read the book and form your own opinions, these are simply my thoughts and suggestions!

My Personal Opinions: I don't know if this book is irrevocably unhelpful or if I simply set my expectations too high, but Why Am I Feeling Like This? is not a book I would suggest to teens suffering from Generalized Anxiety and depression. It does offer some religious insight and comfort into the community of mental health, but a few cognitive techniques with no explanation or research to back it up will not appeal to truly suffering teenagers. Firstly, I am not convinced that eighteen real teens contributed to this book. Each excerpt was short, of the same writing style, and had a too-perfect story arc. Let's face it: Gen Anxiety and depression come in many forms and are caused by literally anything, yet all of these teenager's experiences were far too stereotypical to be real. If they were real teenagers, Murray managed to find the most cookie-cutter experiences that will exclude most reader's journeys with mental illness and make it seem like getting better is a one-step task. Secondly, complimenting the previous point, none of this book was scientific or backed up with research. It is a good effort to help teens, but it is a school counselor's advice, not a PhD's advice. I have nothing against any religion, but the inclusion of Christianity makes mental illness seem like another every-day obstacle that will go away if you keep faith. I'm not saying that Why Am I Feeling Like This? is a bad book for any reason, but if you can only read one self help book for teens, I would not choose this one.

My Favourite Thing: That said, given the correct audience, the inclusion of Christianity will help struggling teens understand that they are not alone and God will always be there to listen. Every chapter ends with a prayer and a religious exercise to keep your mind at rest and help you see the good in the situations you're facing. Murray may not be a PhD in psychology, but he does have a passion for calming young adults and helping them keep faith in difficult times.

My Least Favourite Thing: As a teenager, I struggled with severe Gen Anxiety, OCD, and recurring depression. Although Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is an anxiety disorder, Generalized Anxiety and OCD are treated in completely different ways. Murray summarized and tried to treat OCD and PTSD alongside Gen Anxiety and depression, which will confuse readers and downplay the seriousness of the two other conditions. This does not mean one disorder is more serious / important than the other, but saying "OCD can be treated the same way as Gen Anxiety" is leading teens down the wrong path and making it more difficult for them to find proper care. Leave OCD, PTSD, and anything besides what you advertised out of this book!

[James Heard · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of a two-part set on teenage anxiety and depression (one written to teens and one written to adults), this would be a helpful resource for struggling teens.

It’s less about anxiety or depression as such, but more about practically walking a Christian life through the many problems and struggles that will arise in a teenager’s life and how to deal with and address resulting anxiety or depression through a Christian worldview.

Quick read, which will make it digestible to readers beginning around 8th grade. As a youth pastor who reads often, I was able to read the whole book in an afternoon. The adult-focused book that completes the set has much of the same content but is aimed instead at applying it in a discipleship relationship with a teenager.

[Julia Hayward · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think that as a teen I actually would’ve preferred the practicality of the parent version, yet the parent version has discipline advice and such? So you can’t reallyyy recommend it to teens? Hmm. Trying to figure out how I really would’ve responded to this book as a teenager IN the thick of it. It’s hard to say. GREAT content, though. I gave the parent version 5 stars.

[Chloe Louise · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was meh. It was alright but I didn't feel like it would help someone with anxiety or depression. I think it could actually be more triggering. The concept is really good and I liked some of the little activities but it could have been more diversified for people who aren't religious.

[Sarah Chappell · Rating 3 out of 5]

Definitely a helpful read, however the book promises freedom from complex issues in 132 pages. I also found the anecdotes somewhat unrealistic and the ‘solutions’, at times, simplistic. But, in saying all this, the book is great at encouraging one in the faith and pointing to Jesus. It’s worth a read if you’d like small, easy and practical things to help you through hard times.

[Ella Y · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not a teen anymore sadly, but wish I read this book when I was a teen! Still found myself relating to a lot of the struggles and examples outlined in the book. Loved the practical points of wisdom and self reflection exercises at the end of each chapter.

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭12‬:‭9‬ ‭

[Tomsugi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked up this book because David Murray has written and spoken extensively on counseling depression and because there is a dearth of Christian books written for teens. Murray paints sixteen mini-portraits of alliterated teenagers to represent the various struggles of many teens (13). He helps teens go from “Why am I feeling like this?” to “How do I get out of this?” (11). This book provides healthy first steps for any teen dealing with anxiety and depression.

One unique feature is how Murray draws out the common overlap between anxiety and depression, claiming that “about half of all teens who have one also have the other to some degree” (12). Murray uses clear writing and memorable word pictures to address the stigma and complexity regarding these issues. He explains physical considerations such as diet, sleep, and exercise, modern matters such as cyberbullying, Instagram, and sexting, but also spiritual motivations regarding thoughts, emotions, and right behavior. Some counselors may disagree with Murray’s stance on medication, mindfulness, deep-breathing, muscle relaxation, and image therapy, but Murray also writes as a biblical scholar who sees Jesus as the ultimate answer.

In chapter 3, Murray tells his own story of being an anxious teen dreading the wrath of God for sin. Here, he clearly presents the good news of Jesus Christ to bring hope, faith, and purpose. He also emphasizes the importance of Bible reading (51), Scripture memory, prayer (57), the local church (121-27), and believing in God’s promises. I hope to use this resource as a helpful conversation piece in classes I teach.

The end of each chapter includes Bible verses to memorize, a simple prayer, and practical (“turning the key”) exercises to work on throughout the week. Murray also encourages teens to seek help from the adults in their life (i.e., parents, pastors, teachers, medical professionals). He even wrote a companion version of this book for adult helpers: Why Is My Teenager Feeling Like This? as a guide for the journey.


* Crossway has provided a complimentary copy of this book through the Blog Review Program.

[Abbie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book discusses 18 different “keys” to lessen anxiety and offers lots of practical applications. At certain points, it seemed like a list of dos and don’ts didn’t go deep enough into the heart. At other times, tips of exercise, less social media, getting into community, etc. were great reminders for teens.

I was actually going through this book with a teen who struggles with anxiety and depression. After several weeks, she asked to switch to a different book because she didn’t find this book as helpful as we were hoping. I might pull this out for specific topic ideas but I don’t think I’ll use it as a whole book again.

And, by the end of the book I was questioning whether the goal of relieving fears/depression is the wrong goal? What if instead we sought to glorify God in the midst of fears/depression and grow through the suffering? It’s a subtle difference I’m still processing.

[Reyna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sometimes even as adults, we don´t even get how we feel, or we know how but it is hard to verbalize... imagine being a teenager. We need to be aware all the time about what they are dealing with, how to stay close, and develop great communication. Every resource who tries to be a tool to engage with them and lead them to the truth I cherish. (MIB). I read very harsh reviews about this book, mainly from nonbelievers, I wonder why they bother to read something they already know they won´t like. I think we need to read about it in different voices and approaches. This book is for Christian people, read it with that in mind, you will find prayers at the end of every chapter. You will find these titles and you may find them interesting and the teen can relate with them. Obviously, not all the cases are the same but you can start engaging in a conversation about it.

[Brandi · Rating 2 out of 5]

Murray gives some helpful strategies, but I would not recommend this book.

The exposition and application of Bible passages falls flat and a few times are not true to the meaning intended by the passages. For example, when talking about Matthew 6, he says “Jesus is saying that you should get outside, walk around, take it all in, and let the images from nature - the sights, sounds, and smells - stay with you and calm you.”

The homework for each chapter involves writing down and memorizing a verse, but doesn’t encourage any in-depth study of God’s word. God’s word is added to one of the “keys” or “tools” to help with anxiety and depression, rather than used as the foundation for true and lasting growth and sanctification.

[Kayla Uphoff · Rating 3 out of 5]

A little more on the psychology foundation than I'd prefer, but overall a pretty solid book and potentially helpful resource for teens. I understand it was written for teens, but I also found it generally shallow (which, especially when dealing with heavy systemic struggles like anxiety and depression can come across as trite). Could be a pro for teens though-- the chapters are numerous but short and accessible, with practical steps of application. Maybe a good introductory book to the topic, but I wouldn't stay here (like the conclusion weirdly encourages?); I'd encourage them on to deeper and more robust biblical counseling help.

[Mark · Rating 4 out of 5]

Having a teenager struggling with anxiety and depression, I picked up the book for parents. After reading through most of that book, I quickly decided to pick up this one. I’m glad I did. The chapters are super short (4-5 pages), making this a quick read. Murray cuts to the chase, keeping things simple and straightforward.

The chapters align with the book for parents (“Why is My Teenager Feeling Like This?”) and complement each other. I intend to work through these books with my teen.

**I may return to update my rating, depending on how things work out.**

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the companion to Why Is My Teenager Feeling Like This?: A Guide for Helping Teens through Anxiety and Depression. Despite a few references to the existence of a parents' counterpart, this book felt much more like a stand-alone, and the direct address to the person experiencing the titular feelings seemed more helpful.

[Abbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is amazing. I read it for my mom who asked me to see if it was good to put in the church library, and I ended up loving it and benefitting from it. It says that it is written for teens but I would think that it would be massively helpful for anyone of any age who is struggling with anxiety or depression. It was easy to read, full of Biblical truth, and very practical.

[Joshua Walker · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great resource on mental health for students! I drew so much from this read.. even as an adult. I will be using this and it’s partnering book “Why is my teenager feeling like this?” As a resource for parents!

Great material and an easy read!

[Bri Buzard · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book, even for adults. Loved the short chapters and key take aways.

[Scotlyn Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

Didn’t realize this was for teens when we got this at a conference a few years ago, but most of the general concepts were still helpful as an adult🤷‍♀️

[Emma Ramaley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is an incredible tool for teens ages 14 and up. In some cases it may be appropriate for kids 12-13. Murray's writing is grounded in both Biblical and scientific truth. He acknowledges the complexities of mental health and that each teen's experience is unique. He gives practical tips and tools. The writing is approachable for younger teens and struggling readers. The chapters are short, and each chapter begins and ends with a teenagers story sharing their experience and healing. I would recommend working through this with your teen instead of leaving them to read it alone.