الخوف صديقي : العثور على السحر في المجهول

by Meera Lee Patel

هذا كتاب عن الخوف. إنه كتاب عن الاشتياق والوحدة والطريقة التي نتخفى بها من العالم. إنه يحدثنا كيف نتوارى من أنفسنا، ونقاوم النظر في داخلنا بسبب خوفنا مما قد نجده.

هذا كتاب عن الصداقات غير المحتملة، وكيف تصوغ أصدق العلاقات التي ستحظى يومًا بفرصة بنائها: العلاقة التي تصل إلى قلبك بجسدك وذهنك. سوف تقضي حياتك بالكامل في تغذية تلك العلاقة، حيث لا يوجد طريقة أفضل تستغل بها وقتك.

هذا كتاب عنك أنت، وهو كذلك عني أنا. هذا الكتاب نافذة تتيح لنا رؤية بعضنا.

هذا الكتاب ظل في قلبي لسنوات قبل أن أجد في نفسي الشجاعة لكي أكتبه. ظل هذا الكتاب في ذهني وطارد كياني لسنوات في أثناء نشأتي، هذا الكتاب الذي جاء ليبقى في غرفة فسيحة بمكان ما في شمال إلينوي، وكنت أقرؤه بصوت عالٍ في شقتي بالدور الأرضي في ويليامزبرج دون أن يسمعني أحد. كتبت هذا الكتاب على سواحل ميامي الدافئة، ورسمت صوره في إستوديو صغير وجميل في إيست ناشفيل بولاية تينيسي، وصممت صفحاته في مبنى يقوم على الطراز الفيكتوري ويحوي ست عشرة غرفة نوم في بيركلي بولاية كاليفورنيا. إنه كتاب ولد بعد سنة من الوحدة التامة والأسى في كراون هايتس بمدينة بروكلين.

هذا كتاب يطلب منك النظر في المرآة دون إحجام. لن تحب دائمًا ما تراه، لكن لا بأس، انظر على أية حال.

هذا الكتاب يريدك أن تحمله بين يديك، فصفحاته مليئة بالصدق وبعض الراحة – كما أتمنى. وأقصى أمنياتي أن تجد صفحاته مفيدة.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology, Mental Health, Art, Personal Development, Memoir

176 pages, Paperback

First published February 1, 2018

About the author

Meera Lee Patel is a self-taught artist, writer, and internationally recognized best-selling author. She writes books that help people connect with themselves, each other, and the world around them. Her books & journals for everyone have sold well over a million copies and have been translated into more than a dozen languages worldwide.

Her latest book, How it Feels to Find Yourself, is a vibrant guide towards deeper self-knowing. Through illustrated palettes, honest essays, and insightful questions for reflection, Patel encourages you to sharpen your internal compasses—so you can discover your purpose, let go of what you’ve outgrown, and navigate challenging relationships with greater confidence.

Her other books include My Friend Fear: Finding Magic in the Unknown, as well as 3 best-selling journals: Create Your Own Calm, Made Out of Stars, and Start Where You Are.

She writes a weekly newsletter, Dear Somebody, on Substack: meeraleepatel.substack.com.

Meera lives with her family in St. Louis, MO. To learn more about her, please visit www.meeralee.com.

Reviews

[Sassafras Patterdale · Rating 2 out of 5]

One extra star because the art was pretty
One star overall because.........i tried to be into this book, and some of it was good re: the ways we can think about fear - interegating when it's real, what we can learn from it, what is rational and what is irrational. BUT the challenge for me was this author referenced that her biggest fear had been around wearing a swimsuit at the beach because of a scar on her leg......

ok. not judging anyone's fear. but it would have been helpful to include some other people's voices because as someone with PTSD ........... it was hard to relate in terms of scope and magnitude

[pieceofmycolourfullife Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

such an incredibly book! If you live with fears it’s really helpful to read this and to become friend with fear! I love this book it can be a live saver.

[Luca · Rating 5 out of 5]

My Friend Fear is a visual self-help book. Now, it is very unlike other ‘traditional’ self-help books. It does not offer a miracle solution to your anxiety. Rather, it learns you to be a little bit more okay with yourself. It gives you a new perspective on how to perceive your emotions. I think that this setting makes it so much less clinical than other self-help books, and perhaps more approachable?

As a bookworm, I can vouch for the saying that books can change your life. As an art lover I can say that sometimes, pictures speak a thousand words. In My Friend Fear Meera Lee Patel combines powerful words with breathtaking illustrations in a way that reading this book becomes a healing process in itself.

From the very first to the very last page this book is beautiful. Not a single space is left blank. Moreover, every page is a unique piece of art. Throughout the book, there are multiple pages with inspirational quotes. Often this is a bit tricky, as quotes can become a cliché quite easily. But like everything else in this book, the quotes feel very genuine and true. Also, bonus points for the quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, because that is just one of my favorite quotes ever.

That being said, My Friend Fear was a very short book if you look at how much text it actually has. Yet, its weight and impact will vary greatly depending on its reader. It becomes sort of a window into your soul. Personally, I would have liked to see a bit more text, where things were explained with a bit more research background. Don’t get me wrong, because this book even has a bibliography, albeit one that is not too long, but that is just what I would find interesting. But perhaps that people will not get the right impression of this book if we would simply label it under ‘self-help book’ because for me self-help books always come with expectations. My Friend Fear does not, it simply encourages you to engage inner dialogue because it recognizes that fear is different for every individual. It brought some thought-provoking questions for reflection, which I loved. I would love to see more of them (or perhaps related to a different subject in another book?).

Before I finish off my review, I would like to state that I was a tiny bit disappointed towards the end of the book. To me, it felt as if the connection between the illustrations (and the illustrated text) and the actual text was lost. It felt like the illustrated text focused mainly on the reader when the text had Meera Lee’s own story as an essential red thread running through it. This became a bit confusing. Would this have been different, I think that the book would have been even more impressive.
If you would ask me to whom I would recommend this book, my answer would simply be to everyone. But that's because I cannot understand that there would be people who do not find this book the most gorgeous thing they have ever seen??? No serious, if you are up to some self-reflection, and you believe in art as a therapy, give this little gem a chance. It is very unlikely it will disappoint you.

Five out of five stars for me, because I cannot stress enough how BEAUTIFUL this book is.

[Dreya · Rating 4 out of 5]

*feels like being hugged by this book*

[Moira Macfarlane · Rating 1 out of 5]

Psychologie van de koude grond. Niveau: blaadje bij de kapper.

[San · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book's pretty but that's... basically it, for me. Maybe I'm not in the headspace for this to appeal to me rn but it just felt kinda like a book version of having a bunch of inspirational quotes dumped in my lap and not connecting to any of it. I'm glad other people seem to find this comforting/helpful/inspiring though!

[Kate Alleman · Rating 5 out of 5]

This year in particular, I've been struggling with anxiety/fear - I usually anticipate failure and convince myself this failure is actually going to happen. I've done anxiety workbooks in the past and I think this book has similar information, but is presented in a way that I connect with more - less clinical, more aesthetic.

[Bradley Frederick · Rating 5 out of 5]

A short, wholesome guide to befriending fear and learning to trust your instincts.

[Dana Al-Basha | دانة الباشا · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is beautiful. Not just the art aspect of it, but the words and ideas as well. I find Meera Lee Patel to be a kindred spirit. I never thought much about fear in the way she did and that's why I love books, you can open yourself to another person's thoughts and experiences.



One of the weird things she mentioned is that I too got an email/message from a girl from California, we met for coffee, hit it off and then she disappeared. Weird stuff.



I understand her fear of showing her scar too, but unlike her, I learned from a young age to toughen up and not care what people thought of me and my body and how I looked. People will always think they know better, people could be cruel and mean, and people also could surprise you and be amazing.



Being open to hurt, I think, is what bravery is, if you are closed in on yourself, you will hurt and harm yourself, but if you open up and share yourself and your talents and thoughts with the world many will hurt you, but many will love you as well. I say open yourself up, get hurt, and know you're alive.



Meera like her name "Prosperous", made hope bloom in my heart and mind, flourishing me with ideas and long-forgotten dreams, I decided to put it ALL out there. I decided to "try".

[Biljana · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kako da strah umjesto tereta bude saputnik?
Kako prepoznati strah i razloge zbog kojih se javlja?
Kako razlikovati pojavne oblike straha?
Kako pobijediti strah i uputiti se u Nepoznato?
Zašto sebi (i drugima) trebamo priznati da se plašimo?

Na ova, ali i brojna druga pitanja odgovora autorka kroz lična iskustva, istraživanja, a sve to propraćeno predivnim akvarel ilustracijama i citatima.

Zamjerka je što je strah u ovoj knjizi možda u suvišnoj mjeri romantizovan, zbog čega rečenice nerijetko zapadaju u kliše i sladunjavost.
Ipak, imajući u vidu da je to autorkino iskustvo i način na koji se ona uhvatila u koštac sa svojim strahovima, ''My Friend fear'' je knjiga čije redove s vremena na vrijeme treba pročitati i podsjetiti se da postoje svjetovi izvan naše zone komfora.

[Melanie Maloney · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a great way of looking at fear! It is now my friend! The art was beautiful!

[Tanya · Rating 2 out of 5]

I enjoyed the art work, but the writing did not inspire me as much.

[Etienne · Rating 1 out of 5]

Un livre de psycho-pop à propos des peurs. Remplis de citations et de réflexions simplistes. Un style enfantin même par moment surtout dans la partie artistique du livre, mais aussi dans son contenu. Vraiment pas pour moi. Si certaines personnes y trouvent quelques choses et que cela leur fait du bien c'est tant mieux, mais pour moi ce livre n'apporte pas grand chose.

[Cheryl · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked this book. The beautiful painting like illustrations were beautiful. While, I liked this book, I was not in love with it. I only agreed with about half of what was written in this book about fear. Maybe this is because I am not as fearful as I thought I was. As I was reading this book, I realized that I have grown throughout the years and not let my "fear" hold me back as much. However, this is not just a book. It is kind of like a self help book. It should kind of be read a little by little as it will make you think and act. This book would make a nice gift for someone. Overall, this book had a good message.

[Atiqah Ghazali · Rating 5 out of 5]

I NEED TO BUY THIS BOOK!!!

[Annelies · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved it!

[Angie Sachs · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book sooo much❣️, Beautiful words and beautiful artwork. Took multiple pictures of the art work. It was a wonderful exploration of fear and many emotions we all experience

[Juli · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book hits hard. It speaks the kind of truth that is difficult to hear but will carry you forward. Meera Lee Patel created a feast for the eyes with her beautiful illustrations but more importantly, she created a feast for your heart with her beautiful words.


See my blog (spoilers possible!) here: https://ichleseblog.wordpress.com/201....

[Stefanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this; I need this one on my bookshelf

[Shouty · Rating 5 out of 5]

ASPIRATIONAL AND INSPIRATIONAL - I WANT TO LIVE THIS BOOK EVERY DAY

[Michele Harrod · Rating 5 out of 5]

This really is the most utterly gorgeous wee book, and I couldn’t help thinking, as I read it, that it was the perfect introduction to Brene Brown and her ideas of embracing our vulnerability, that is just perfect for young readers and those less inclined to read wordy self-help books. I see it has had some criticism for not addressing ‘bigger fears’ such as PTSD, but nor should it. Meera Patel makes no claim to have any qualifications in Psychology, nor does she profess to provide sound counsel for anyone needing help at that level. She simply reveals that creature that grows inside of us all, that can, if we approach it wrong, hold us back from all the places our life can be richer.

Her artwork is utterly delightful and had this book been absent of a single original word, I’d have still been enchanted by what Meera, in befriending her own ‘fear’ has had the courage to share with the world.

I have recently been contemplating the terrible impact that shame has on our psyches. Shame for perceived failures, embarrassments, or even worse, the shame we carry because of others bad behaviour, that we somehow take undue responsibility for ourselves. It is a lethal, yet rarely discussed emotion, and I am pleased that she has touched on this this here.

Interestingly enough, I now reflect on how I say this is a wonderful book for young readers, yet I am looking at all the tiny pieces of paper I tore from the larger piece I was using as a book mark, that now highlight so many pages that I want to go back to and jot down a gem or two that touched my heart as I read these short, but sweet passages. Sure, I remember being afraid as a child, but I remember more, staying afraid as an adult. There is a beautiful line in here about fear being here to help us uncover our greatest wishes.

There were a number of lines (and paintings) that caused my throat to close, or even on occasion, my eyes to well up.... so clearly there are some fears I haven’t quite conquered myself... or perhaps more to the point, some deepest wishes I have not yet found the courage to pursue.

“We let fear splinter into despair and guilt and shame, not considering the way these emotions take residence in our body, moving into the homes where confidence, contentment, and self-worth used to live.”

Indeed we do, and hence why this book is a gift to the world. When I’m seeing so many young people already becoming crippled with anxiety, I wish I could buy a thousand copies and share them out. If each reader could find a way to walk beside their fear, rather than behind it being overshadowed by its darkness, as the author encourages - what a lovelier journey they would have.

[Suzanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

A beautiful book!!

Meera begins the book by acknowledging fear and how it is ingrained in our culture and ourselves. “I feel afraid fairly often, almost on a daily basis,” she says. “I spent a lot of time fighting my fears, waiting for the day that they’d disappear completely. I thought I was weak because there were so many things I was afraid of. It wasn’t until very recently that I began realizing that feeling afraid is inevitable—but whether I let that fear help or harm me, is up to me.” My Friend Fear is a reflection of this. Throughout the book, we get a glimpse into Meera’s head as she recognizes, confronts, and gives herself (and us) a different perspective on fear—that we should learn to embrace the unknown and find peace in their own anxieties.

This book affirms that fear it okay. Instead of using it as an excuse use it to become better. See it as a friend guiding you, helping you face reality and take it head on.

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was really close to 5 stars for me. Gorgeous in every single way. Meera Lee Patel is a talented artist, poet, and author. I do realize from having an anxiety disorder that I have a lot of fear in my life, especially with what might happen in the future, the "what ifs".My Friend Fear made me realize things about myself and how I think. Lots of things were put into perspective for me and that might help how I deal with the world. I felt less alone that someone in the world has been through and felt the way I felt. It was humbling. Poetic writing with feeling that touched me. I really wish I could do this book justice with a review as well-written and beautiful as it, but I do recommend this book to people who have fear. Fear is not something to be afraid of, for it is our greatest friend and makes us realize what's holding us back in life.

[Kali · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ce livre est tout bonnement incroyable, je ne suis actuellement pas dans une période où je suis sûre de moi, où ma confiance en moi est totale et je me suis dis que de lire ce livre que j’ai trouvée à une conférence sur la spiritualité, en vente chez un libraire spécialisé dans ce domaine exposant à cette conférence; ça allait sûrement me faire évoluer vers d’autres possibilités et ne pas me laisser dans ce mal-être car après tout je ne suis pas tombée sur ce livre par hasard.
Par ses illustrations toutes magnifiques, l’autrice nous aide à vaincre nos peurs et à s’affirmer soi-même, notamment dans la réalisation de nos rêves les plus fous, ou plutôt, de ceux qui au fond, nous définissent et nous tiennent à cœur. La lecture est fluide et simple grâce aux illustrations, on apprends sans se prendre la tête, c’est ludique !

Je recommande ce livre à toute personne perdue qui recherche sa voie et son chemin, ça peut aider.

[stefiereads · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just want to hug this book tightly and never let go. AAAAAA... LOVED IT!!!!
This book make me think and reflect to myself so much.
Growing up in a family where they will tell you "Don't do this" "Don't do that" or you will get hurt, or you will fall, is really making me a person who literally afraid about a lot of things. So this book is really for me. Did Meera just wrote this book specially for me? Perhaps? :D

But seriously this book is like a blanket on the colder days. I love it so much! AND please.... the art inside is so so sooooo beautiful!
This book is a must read!

Thank you the publisher for sending me a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own. :)

[Jacquelin Molina · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a precious read. The way that Meera Lee Patel addressed the feeling and concept of fear was lighthearted and wholesome which made it seems more manageable to handle once you “befriend” the fears that you do have. Patel used both psychology and poetic prose to discuss the topic of fear with artwork as visual aid that made it safe to explore one’s own fears as a way to understand and individuals needs, desires and dreams.

[Imke · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mooie tekeningen/kunst, quotes en een uniek verhaal over angst. Waarschijnlijk is dit iets om later nog eens te herlezen, want er staat waardevolle informatie in zonder dat het heel diep ingaat op de wetenschap, maar gewoon uit ervaring en eigen kwetsbaarheid.

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had the pleasure of briefly meeting Meera Lee earlier this year, in September. I love her voice and welcoming spirit - she’s a treasure. And this book is gorgeous.

[chayenne · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars, a very beautiful description of fear, it also has stunning artwork. just the book that i needed to read

[Tiara Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall this book was really inspirational. This was a great short read to start the year off with 🦋