“For Howe, the purpose of literature is to transport both writer and reader into a heightened awareness of the invisible forces that shape our material lives” (119)
"Darkness, for me, was still light, but in a new form and a new rhythm. It was light at a slower pace. In other words, nothing in the world, not even what I saw inside myself with closed eyelids, was outside this great miracle of light" (7)
"My eyes meeting his eyes was more disturbing than the naked encounter of our two whole faces in the light of day. It reminded me that no one knew what I had done except for the person I had done it with. And you God" (19).
"Poetry is backwards logic. You can't write poetry unless you have a knowledge of, or taste for, this backwards way of finding truth" (21)
"To be truly open you don't need dogma or a pen./ You are either facing the endless open or you are letting it face you" (21)
"This is an effort to resolve the question: what was this strange preoccupation that seemed to have no motive, cause, or final goal and preceded all that writing I did. Did it begin in the environment of childhood, or was it formed out of alien properties later? If I had known what I was doing all along, would I have done it? What guided me? What could I call what I was calling?" (22)
"The source and destiny of each life are the same: an unknown that is unknowable. Unknown before; around and unknown now; and unknown after unless already fully known before... For some persons, meditation, contemplation, prayer indicate that there is an emptiness already built into each body and it is that which (paradoxically) makes them feel at home in the cosmos" (40-41).
"An ethics of intentionality must stay at a practical, measurable level, and never become abstract. Don't ever argue principles, my father told me. Stay with the facts" (43)
"As I get older I don't remember what things are, only what they look like and are named. The way Los Angeles becomes hell at night after being purgatorial all day. When allegory enters time, it is the sign of profound danger" (45)
"I can't believe I can see. I can't believe I can hear. I can't believe I can speak or think. What are commodities but evidence of lost people. You cannot love a bathrobe so what can you love about your own texture" (46)
"The canyons are groomed and pocked with bourgeois housing developments that are built for eclipse. The spirit muscles its way out of disappointment and follows the body laughing. Jesus after Easter is laughing all the way down the road" (49)
"Aquinas set out to prove that what we seek is actually what we are already" (50)
"Doubt allows God to live" (51)
"Sometimes you are privileged with a glimpse of the other world, when the light shines up from the west as the sun sets and dazzles something wet. The world is just water and light, a slide show through which your spirit glides" (52)
"I think you can know more if you do things that are fearful or unpleasant, as long as they do not include hospitals or jails. Wanting to know is what makes me do things I don't want to do. Wanting to know how far I can go with what I know" (53).
"LA's a dirt heap, really, stuck with green nettles" (54)
"This is the year when half of my desire for you is the half of yours for someone else...still the mystery of your life is that it's yours" (59)
"I have forgotten most of my life but if I remember anything with the fullness of attention, I feel two things: that the original no longer exists and that she has been replaced with a paper reproduction" (60)
"From the ages of twelve to twenty, a person's memories are most powerful and last through their lives. Before then, it is the unconscious that builds the child's life-character, events and people coming in at him or her, without borders or defenses against them" (67)
"Models, film stars, dolls and cartoons fall into this category. Plastic and bright colors. Without perceptions. They just recieve our looks and do not pretend to be real. Glamour removes any possible chance of reciprocity, which is a huge relief" (70)
"The combination of thorough study with leaps of faith-- well, this is the most reliable approach to the truth that I know" (73)
"Simone Weil said: "If we behold ourselves at a particular instant-- the present instant, severed from the past and the future-- we are innocent. We cannot be at this instant anything other than what we are; all progress implies a duration. It forms part of the order of the world, at this instant, that we should be as we are. All problems come back to the question of time." For instance, at any time a life can seem complete enough" (84)
"Lovers like addicts are too big to manage themselves" (86)
"There is a strange power of resistance that takes hold of certain weak and incompetent people. They refuse to give up, despite a series of blows, errors, and disappointments. They annoy well-adjusted people because weakness is not meant to survive. There are many stories about weak children in folk and fairy tales and anyone can see that even if one of them has failed in the world, she still wants to live" (90-91)
"The present tense is the tense of emergency and ego. I don't like it telling a story. The past is the most convincing and carries a shadow on its back like a bag of stones. The past is always a little melancholy. Slate gray, sunless. The past is the best tense for storytelling. The storyteller drops the bag and sits down to look it over" (92)
"To believe in something means to understand it. I wonder if the reason haters can be great artists and soldiers is that they put so much good into their work that the extra goes to making hell for everyone else" (93)
"Language, as we have it, fails to deal with confusion" (105)
"The serial poem attempts to demonstrate this attention to what is cyclical, returning, but empty at its axis. To me, the serial poem is a spiral poem" (109)
"Every experience that is personal is simultaneously an experience that is supernatural. How you love another person might be a reflection of your relationship to God or the world itself, not to the other person, not to any other person, mother, father, sister, brother. Untrusting? Suspicious? Jealous? Indifferent? Abject? These feelings may be an indication of your larger existential position, hardly personal" (110-111)
"Bewilderment circumnavigates, believing that at the center of errant or circular movement is the empty but ultimate referent" (111)
"After all, the point of art--like war-- is to show people that life is worth living by showing that it isn't" (114)