Rake's Progress: My Life in Politics

by Rachel Johnson

'God I wish Rachel was prime minister... It is like being invited to a deliciously gossipy party' Marina Hyde
'Fabulously indiscreet and funny...I loved it' Gaby Hinsliff, Observer
'There will be weightier political tomes this year than Rake’s Progress, but you will not find one more entertaining' Roger Alton, Daily Mail
'Spectacular. The only honest thing I've ever come across about political campaigning' P.J.O'Rourke

A unique, revealing and entertaining insight into the political dramas of recent times.

Rachel Johnson was born into what has been described by some as the UK’s most famous political family, and by others as ‘Poundshop Kennedys’. She was always keen to avoid the family business at all costs and plough her own furrow as a broadcaster, novelist and journalist. But, after the referendum to leave the EU in 2016, she felt the heavy hand of fate. When an insurgent centre party burst onto the scene in 2019, she felt compelled to stand for something rather than nothing – which happened to be just as her own older brother, Boris, was making his final assault on Downing Street. As some joked, she went into politics to spend more time with her family.

Rake’s Progress tells the extraordinary story of what happened next. From long silences on the radio when asked tricky policy questions to loud curses from David Cameron during tennis matches, Rachel reveals all about her brief political career. Taking on Ann Widdecombe and the Brexit Party, would she and her party make history – or become a forgotten footnote in the rolling omnishambles of British politics?

Beyond her own story, Rake’s Progress highlights the importance of standing up for your beliefs and the challenges of life in the public eye, and takes the reader behind the scenes, from the campaign trail to the ‘Westminster bubble’ and the carpeted corridors of power. Told with great honesty and self-deprecating humour, this is a book that reveals the very human side of politics.

Genres: Politics

Audible Audio

Published March 19, 2020

About the author

Rachel Johnson is a British editor, journalist, television presenter and author based in London. She lives in Notting Hill, London with her husband. They have three adult children.

Librarian’s note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

Reviews

[Kexx · Rating 1 out of 5]

Oh, dear, Oh, dear. She is so much better than this - what is it? Self indulgent, that's what it really is and has no respect for the reader. Forget it. Spoiler alert: she can't even vote for herself so why would I finish the book?

[Rupert Wolfe-Murray · Rating 5 out of 5]

I bought this book on Amazon because the first few pages (the free sample) was quite entertaining, and Amazon were offering a good discount for the hardback version.

But I wasn't expecting much as Rachel Johnson is often dismissed as a political lightweight and she even describes herself as a "media whore". I almost gave up reading it at the end of Part One (page 42) as she'd spilled the beans and told us what the rest of the book will be about: her candidacy in the 2019 elections for the European Parliament -- boring!

Luckily for me I kept on reading. I was pulled onwards by her wit, anecdotes, searing honesty and self deprecation. People say horrible things about Rachel Johnson and you can understand why: she's blonde, a successful journalist, author and TV personality and (horror of all horrors!) sister to the Prime Minister! What's not to hate? But what people often don't recognise is that she's obviously what the Scots call "a toiler" -- you can't be a writer and "media whore" without putting in a lot of hard work. But her harshest critic is probably herself and that's one of the things that makes this book so appealing.

Some background: in 2019 the Theresa May government fell, Brexit was in meltdown and at the end of the year Boris Johnson got elected with a landslide (87 seat majority). Between these two elections was the European Parliament election, which Rachel Johnson participated in. But people were fed up with elections as they had also undergone two bruising referendums: Brexit and Scottish independence. It's funny to look back now, during the time of the coronavirus, and think how last year's news was only about Brexit.

Part 2 of the book really took off for me as she gives in inside view of what it's like inside the media and inside an election campaign. I'm sure you can read more detailed, analytical, highbrow, political accounts elsewhere but I don't want to read anything by "cocksure partisans telling you what to think" (George Orwell, Inside the Whale, 1940).

Her description of going on political TV chat shows is incredible as she's describing it as farce, as a raconteur at the dinner table, and you realise that the whole system is a combination of chaos, bluff and sensationalism. Media is showbiz and to be able to thrive in it takes great resilience and a lot more intelligence than people give blonde females credit for (where does the idea of blonde's being stupid come from?)

The most interesting part of the book is the actual political campaign she was involved in for exactly one month. A new party had been formed -- Change UK -- from 11 defectors from the Labour and Tory Party. Rachel joined them as a means to protest against Brexit and was their main candidate for South West England (Swindon to the Scilly Isles) -- and it was a complete disaster. She got barely any votes and the party itself folded soon after.

I took several things from her description of this car crash: reading about failure is much more fun than reading about success; I realised that the problem with our political system is that it's too competitive (her brother describes is as a "contact sport"), and it brings out the worst in people.
Rachel's main fault in the campaign was trusting a Times journalist and telling him the truth about their new political party (no leader, no policies, no publicity and they couldn't even make their minds up about their name). What I don't understand, and what she doesn't mention, is why did that new political party compete for the European elections without having any of the foundations in place? It's like sending a child into a boxing ring. Why not build up the party over years, in the background, and come on the stage only when ready?

The Times journalist spilled the beans and that gave the media vultures enough fuel to demolish the fledgling party in the following week (which was just before the elections). Rachel's political colleagues were furious with her but the irony is that these sanctimonious prigs will be forgotten and this honest, farcical account of that election will live on. What I really like about Rachel is that she's not bitchy or nasty about her creepy political colleagues or even that Times journalist who betrayed her trust.

Although Rachel never says this, as it could come across as grandiose, what happened was that Rachel was sacrificed on the alter of Prime Time TV for being honest.

A Guardian reviewer liked the book but presented it as a lightweight account of political gossip and endless name dropping. She missed the point which is that this book gives a rare insight into how the media and government machines actually work -- and the dark chaos at their heart -- and, for me the book can be compared to Black Snow, the Russian classic about the Moscow State Theatre by Mihail Bulgakov: "the ultimate backstage novel...a vortex of inflated egos..."

One of the few characters who comes out well from Rake's Progress is David Cameron, with whom she plays tennis. She admits he was the one who got us into this mess (Brexit) but she still plays tennis with him and he comes up with some great lines -- such as Brexit will destroy everything in its path and: "Logical arguments versus emotional arguments equals political defeat."

Part 3 of you the book is a sort of conclusion. Rachel has lost the election as well as some self esteem but she bounces back with the empowering thought that politics isn't for her (she lacks the ability to lie professionally) and she has, in fact, three things that are much more valuable than a seat in the European Parliament: love, an intact marriage and a family that get on with each other even though they disagree politically (their secret is to not discuss politics at family gatherings).

My conclusion is that I hope this book stays in print for many years to come as it shows the dark chaotic nature of our political and media machines.

Also: full disclosure; I met Rachel Johnson last year at the Extinction Rebellion protest in London and we stayed in touch. She told me she'd written a book and my first thought was, "God, I hope she doesn't want me to read it!" But nobody asked me to read it or write this review and I forked out £11.99 for the hardback version (not the Kindle version as it says above).

Finally, my view of politics is that political system is not "fit for purpose". Our system is based on ancient ideologies and Big Business/Media are far too powerful. Everything needs to go local; i.e. city and regional size governments so we can get things under control. I look at politicians and elections with complete impartiality -- it doesn't matter who wins as all they do is maintain the machine -- but I give each one of them the benefit of the doubt based on one simple question: Will they do what they promised in their campaign? If you take Trump as an example I like his promise to "Drain the swamp," but he's done the exact opposite. Theresa May promised to make billionaire tax dodgers pay up but did nothing of the sort and the jury is still out on Boris -- he promised to "Get Brexit done" but the job hasn't been finished yet and, as they say, "the devil's in the detail".

[Carolyn Lochhead · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s hard to know what to make of Rachel Johnson, just as it’s hard to know what to make of this book. On the one hand, she paints a picture of herself as someone who is hard to like. She rushes from tennis with David Cameron to political events with her most recent party, Change UK, whom she seriously undermines with interviews that are at best thoughtless and at worst utterly selfish.

The picture she paints of the Johnson family childhood is one where emotional support was absent, siblings viewed one another solely as competitors and outsiders were enemies. There is a telling incident early on, in which the young Johnson children are once again bouncing a ball off the garage door of a long-suffering neighbour, who finally asks them to stop. Their father responds by yelling at the neighbour that he’ll “knock his block off” if he tells them off again: described by Johnson as an “act of muscular fatherhood we still remember with admiration and affection to this day”. The notion that, perhaps, the man was entitled to peace in his home and respect for his property is as nothing against the importance of the Johnsons being able to do what they liked.

There is a great deal of this kind of self-absorption, particularly in the first few chapters, which meander uncertainly around Johnson’s early life and career.

And yet…on the other hand, she writes with real pain about the opportunities that Brexit has taken from her children, and about her desire, despite a lifelong determination to avoid politics, to do something about it. She signs up to Change UK out of an apparently genuine desire to protect the UK’s European identity. And she does have a way with words that is achingly lacking from most of the political left. She can construct a political argument that doesn’t require several degrees to comprehend, and goodness knows that is a skill much needed when going up against the likes of Farage, who may lack both empathy and humanity but has an enviable ability to cut through to a non-political audience.

And Johnson is, after all, not responsible for the behaviour of her brother: her account of how she is increasingly recognised only in relation to her family does prompt a degree of sympathy. Being Boris Johnson’s sister does not sound like an easy gig.

Ultimately, this is a mixed-up muddle of a book. The beginning section reads, frankly, like a few extra chapters that were glued on to reach the required word count. The middle is a genuinely interesting account of the brief life and death of Change UK as viewed from one of its chief candidates, even if it does make the reader want to scream at Johnson’s apparent inability to take anything seriously, even her own political candidacy. And the end is a rather sad subsidence into Boris Johnson’s shadow, as she appears to accept that he has achieved his ambition of becoming “World King” and she is merely a footnote in history.

An odd book, but one I’m not sorry to have read.

[Xena! · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book taught me much about the "other" royal family in Britain: the Johnson's. I learned about Boris' family and their extensive involvement in British and EU politics. The book fell a bit short for non-British readers by the overuse of initials for government political process, offices, etc. I did enjoy the description of the desperate formation of an(other) independent party once Brexit passed, and the description of its shortcomings and ignominious defeat. What I did not enjoy was the author's self-described inadequacies for the position of running for member of the EU parliament. Her chronic lateness, ineptness with maps, worry about her hair, and inability to stay on script (though admittedly there was not much of a script) was written as if it were cute and endearing; it was not. If you are going to take a spot on a ballot, you should treat supporters and the party with your respectful attention.

[Vicki · Rating 1 out of 5]

The writing is dire, with poor sentence construction (Boris is not the only one in that family to mangle grammar beyond recognition) and clunky attempts at what I suspect was humour. Or cleverness. Or something. It was clear that no editor had been near this book, to its detriment, and it was clearer that, like the political career that is it’s subject, it was entirely pointless in conception and execution.

I imagine the target audience is vapid adolescents who’ve had Hello! confiscated but don’t yet dare to pick up the Twilight series, or perhaps her friends “Priti” (Patel) and “DC” (Cameron) who want to know if they appear, and if so, what “goss” she spills… but for anyone with even a single brain cell, this is best avoided. No matter how curious you are. It really is much much worse than you could possibly imagine it to be.

[Mo · Rating 2 out of 5]

Like that other Johnson this one also over promises and under delivers.

[Julie Birkett · Rating 2 out of 5]

Fairly tedious