What do you think?
Rate this book
Man Raises Boy: A revolutionary approach for fathers who want to raise kind, confident and happy sons
Written from the front line of fatherhood, journalist Rob Sturrock grapples with the daily challenges of raising boys who can thrive in the current era.
A book from the front lines of modern fatherhood.
Welcome to Rob Sturrock's journey into parenting. Since the birth of his daughter, Rob has been passionate about being an active and present father, but this hasn't always been straightforward. Struggling with stereotypes, judgement, identity and isolation while on parental leave, Rob has tried to balance supporting his wife and young children with the societal expectation of being a breadwinner for his family.
With the arrival of his son, a new set of anxieties was born. In today's climate, how do you raise a boy? The roar of the #MeToo movement has meant that men have had to learn to listen, and to confront their masculinity and what it means to be a man. Through extensive research and interviews with dads doing it differently - including Tony Sheldon, Adam Liaw and Bernie Shakeshaft - Rob Sturrock explores a new era of fathering that balances strength and vulnerability, allowing men to voice their insecurities and uncertainties, and encouraging them to truly cherish their families.
Man Raises Boy is at once an insightful and necessary call to arms for all new fathers, a guiding hand in the maze of love, guilt, anxiety and joy in fatherhood - and an ordinary dad's beautifully moving love letter to his son.
'Raw, inspiring and brutally honest. If you have a son, read this book.' Madonna King, bestselling author of Fathers and Daughters
A book from the front lines of modern fatherhood.
Welcome to Rob Sturrock's journey into parenting. Since the birth of his daughter, Rob has been passionate about being an active and present father, but this hasn't always been straightforward. Struggling with stereotypes, judgement, identity and isolation while on parental leave, Rob has tried to balance supporting his wife and young children with the societal expectation of being a breadwinner for his family.
With the arrival of his son, a new set of anxieties was born. In today's climate, how do you raise a boy? The roar of the #MeToo movement has meant that men have had to learn to listen, and to confront their masculinity and what it means to be a man. Through extensive research and interviews with dads doing it differently - including Tony Sheldon, Adam Liaw and Bernie Shakeshaft - Rob Sturrock explores a new era of fathering that balances strength and vulnerability, allowing men to voice their insecurities and uncertainties, and encouraging them to truly cherish their families.
Man Raises Boy is at once an insightful and necessary call to arms for all new fathers, a guiding hand in the maze of love, guilt, anxiety and joy in fatherhood - and an ordinary dad's beautifully moving love letter to his son.
'Raw, inspiring and brutally honest. If you have a son, read this book.' Madonna King, bestselling author of Fathers and Daughters
328 pages, Paperback
First published March 3, 2020
5 people are currently reading
83 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
December 21, 2020
Give it a read, but don't let it be the only book you read on fathering as a millenial!
I almost didn't read this book. The prologue...to anyone whose partner has gone through a traumatic birth or whose child's start to life was difficult - it had me in tears. I'm glad I pushed through though.
This book is a great hands on introduction to raising a son as a millennial father. It is strongest where it draws from the authors experience - the vignettes shared by the author about his son and daughter are heartwarming - and where synthesizing research - like diving into the origins of the 'leap' theory and explaining adrenarche.
I found the first six chapters a goldmine. They effectively weave this beautiful narrative, jumping between the personal and the academic to create this compelling picture of coping with becoming a father for the first time and coming to terms with the responsibility to raise a son. Chapters 5 and 6 on boy biology and 'real man' vs 'good man' are excellent, and Chapter 3 is an excellent companion read to Annabelle Crabb's wife drought.
Where the book is let down, though, are the final three chapters. Perhaps it was just me who ran out of steam, but I found these chapters laborious to get through, missing some of the clarity of the first chapters. More specifically, as a digital native, I found the chapter on technology particularly jarring, as most of the chapter is spent explaining the technology. Out of the 35 pages in that chapter, the heavy lifting of 'how do I raise a son in the digital age' is given only five. And on one of the key questions - how do we, as fathers, manage our own relationship with technology while parenting - the book is silent. This could have been done better I think.
And while I found the vignettes overall quite fascinating, the Adam Liaw one is terrible. After building such a persuasive case in the first five chapters about fatherhood and how being a good father is more than just financial stability and is about getting stuck in, the Liaw vignette is really out of place. "[T]he time I can spend on [household management and domestic duties] is necessarily limited" and "quality time ... outweighs quantity any day of the week" are two choice quotes which demonstrate exactly the kind of sentiments the author is challenging - that being around and involved is vital, and that it's a choice to lean in and share domestic duties as a gender equity issue. The author doesn't engage with this lack of congruence.
But then, the reason for giving it three stars: The book is interesting and effective at marshalling the evidence and author's personal experience, but deeply reflects the entrenched privilege of the author (I say this as a similar product of the Sydney private boys establishment). The stories and advice are so rooted in the authors privilege so as to render them, I think, basically irrelevant to those sitting outside that bubble. To be fair, the author engages with this issue - pointing out the difficulties for those not in privileged positions in Chp 2 - but without really resolving those questions for fathers outside white collar employment. I found it interesting, but would others outside the bubble? I reckon no.
Worth the read but shouldn't be the only book millennial fathers read!
I almost didn't read this book. The prologue...to anyone whose partner has gone through a traumatic birth or whose child's start to life was difficult - it had me in tears. I'm glad I pushed through though.
This book is a great hands on introduction to raising a son as a millennial father. It is strongest where it draws from the authors experience - the vignettes shared by the author about his son and daughter are heartwarming - and where synthesizing research - like diving into the origins of the 'leap' theory and explaining adrenarche.
I found the first six chapters a goldmine. They effectively weave this beautiful narrative, jumping between the personal and the academic to create this compelling picture of coping with becoming a father for the first time and coming to terms with the responsibility to raise a son. Chapters 5 and 6 on boy biology and 'real man' vs 'good man' are excellent, and Chapter 3 is an excellent companion read to Annabelle Crabb's wife drought.
Where the book is let down, though, are the final three chapters. Perhaps it was just me who ran out of steam, but I found these chapters laborious to get through, missing some of the clarity of the first chapters. More specifically, as a digital native, I found the chapter on technology particularly jarring, as most of the chapter is spent explaining the technology. Out of the 35 pages in that chapter, the heavy lifting of 'how do I raise a son in the digital age' is given only five. And on one of the key questions - how do we, as fathers, manage our own relationship with technology while parenting - the book is silent. This could have been done better I think.
And while I found the vignettes overall quite fascinating, the Adam Liaw one is terrible. After building such a persuasive case in the first five chapters about fatherhood and how being a good father is more than just financial stability and is about getting stuck in, the Liaw vignette is really out of place. "[T]he time I can spend on [household management and domestic duties] is necessarily limited" and "quality time ... outweighs quantity any day of the week" are two choice quotes which demonstrate exactly the kind of sentiments the author is challenging - that being around and involved is vital, and that it's a choice to lean in and share domestic duties as a gender equity issue. The author doesn't engage with this lack of congruence.
But then, the reason for giving it three stars: The book is interesting and effective at marshalling the evidence and author's personal experience, but deeply reflects the entrenched privilege of the author (I say this as a similar product of the Sydney private boys establishment). The stories and advice are so rooted in the authors privilege so as to render them, I think, basically irrelevant to those sitting outside that bubble. To be fair, the author engages with this issue - pointing out the difficulties for those not in privileged positions in Chp 2 - but without really resolving those questions for fathers outside white collar employment. I found it interesting, but would others outside the bubble? I reckon no.
Worth the read but shouldn't be the only book millennial fathers read!
March 15, 2020
This book is an important part of a crucial conversation we need to have. For parents of both boys and girls we need to better understand the messaging boys and fathers receive about how they should be fathers and sons. If we just start to look at how much better for entire families it could be, if we start make steps toward a world this author hopes for. I might just be revolutionary.
April 23, 2020
Ok so first of all, I have to say that I was drawn to this book for two obvious reasons. The first, being that I am a father of two boys myself and the second, well.. isn’t it obvious - look at that cover!
Man Raises Boy by Rob Sturrock is a deep, honest, heartfelt book written by an author, who is entering a world of the unknown. A world that all dads enter. A world where you are fully responsible for the upbringing of another human being. A world that for some, is absolutely terrifying.
I enjoyed reading this book because I often question the kind of job I am doing as a father and the decisions I make as a parent. I related to Rob’s thoughts and experiences and often found myself nodding as I turned the pages. He covers topics that dads need to know about and tackles the challenges dads may face as they raise their little men - traditional gender roles and why dads should try to break away from ‘what they know’ of their role as dad. He writes about paternity leave, workplace culture and the pressures of being a ‘breadwinner’. He discusses biological milestones, relationships, ‘the talk’ and his fears and concerns around social media and bullying. It’s full of stats and data that I am sure will widen your eyes and mind. Also, there’s a few popculture references that’ll make you smile.
Mostly, what I love about this book is that it encourages and inspires dads to be the best version of themselves in order to be present and involved in their kids lives. Dads are important in a child’s upbringing and they should be treated as such. We are just as capable of parenting as mums. We need to embrace our roles as dads and make the most of it. We can all reflect - I know myself, that it isn’t always easy to switch off from work or to turn off the tv, put down the phone or to engage. It’s something that I am constantly thinking of and trying to be better at.
Thank you Rob for sharing your story, your life and your thoughts. I appreciate chatting to you about this. You have opened my mind to my role as dad.
Thank you @allenandunwin for sending me a review copy of this book. Man Raises Boy is available now and would be a great gift for any dad out there!
Man Raises Boy by Rob Sturrock is a deep, honest, heartfelt book written by an author, who is entering a world of the unknown. A world that all dads enter. A world where you are fully responsible for the upbringing of another human being. A world that for some, is absolutely terrifying.
I enjoyed reading this book because I often question the kind of job I am doing as a father and the decisions I make as a parent. I related to Rob’s thoughts and experiences and often found myself nodding as I turned the pages. He covers topics that dads need to know about and tackles the challenges dads may face as they raise their little men - traditional gender roles and why dads should try to break away from ‘what they know’ of their role as dad. He writes about paternity leave, workplace culture and the pressures of being a ‘breadwinner’. He discusses biological milestones, relationships, ‘the talk’ and his fears and concerns around social media and bullying. It’s full of stats and data that I am sure will widen your eyes and mind. Also, there’s a few popculture references that’ll make you smile.
Mostly, what I love about this book is that it encourages and inspires dads to be the best version of themselves in order to be present and involved in their kids lives. Dads are important in a child’s upbringing and they should be treated as such. We are just as capable of parenting as mums. We need to embrace our roles as dads and make the most of it. We can all reflect - I know myself, that it isn’t always easy to switch off from work or to turn off the tv, put down the phone or to engage. It’s something that I am constantly thinking of and trying to be better at.
Thank you Rob for sharing your story, your life and your thoughts. I appreciate chatting to you about this. You have opened my mind to my role as dad.
Thank you @allenandunwin for sending me a review copy of this book. Man Raises Boy is available now and would be a great gift for any dad out there!
February 5, 2025
This is one of the relatively few books written in Australia about fatherhood and raising boys. With an endorsement from Madonna King, and case studies on Labor/union figures, I found it to be biased, left-leaning, and disappointing…
“Fathers young and old around this country can do amazing things for our kids, and especially our boys, if only they believe in their caring and nurturing abilities just a little bit more.”
Bugger me, it’s so simples!!
Sturrock has both a daughter and a very young son, with much of the text being about girls. This was quite jarring, considering the title of the book.
There is subtle but pervasive left-leaning bias throughout (favourable to progressive virtue signalling and to Labor policies), as well as underlying feminist bias. He’s very keen for men to change their nature (to be more amendable to the goals of radical feminists), rather than honouring innate masculinity…
The book is dismissive of traditional values and conservative perspectives. It has an unrealistic ambition for what too many people refer to as “gender equality” (which is about sex not gender, and isn’t interested in equality).
An example of the above critique is the first acknowledgement that Sturrock makes, which is to his wife:
“The ideas and values in this book belong as much to Julia as they do to me.”
So the reader is left thinking that the book was largely conceived by a woman, about her daughter. Completely at odds with the title and the marketing… When are we going to see the breadth and depth of Australian masculinity, reflected in our published books? It may take decades, or lifetimes.
“Fathers young and old around this country can do amazing things for our kids, and especially our boys, if only they believe in their caring and nurturing abilities just a little bit more.”
Bugger me, it’s so simples!!
Sturrock has both a daughter and a very young son, with much of the text being about girls. This was quite jarring, considering the title of the book.
There is subtle but pervasive left-leaning bias throughout (favourable to progressive virtue signalling and to Labor policies), as well as underlying feminist bias. He’s very keen for men to change their nature (to be more amendable to the goals of radical feminists), rather than honouring innate masculinity…
The book is dismissive of traditional values and conservative perspectives. It has an unrealistic ambition for what too many people refer to as “gender equality” (which is about sex not gender, and isn’t interested in equality).
An example of the above critique is the first acknowledgement that Sturrock makes, which is to his wife:
“The ideas and values in this book belong as much to Julia as they do to me.”
So the reader is left thinking that the book was largely conceived by a woman, about her daughter. Completely at odds with the title and the marketing… When are we going to see the breadth and depth of Australian masculinity, reflected in our published books? It may take decades, or lifetimes.
March 27, 2020
This is a beautiful book written by a passionate author, who uses his life experiences and detailed research, to advise parents on the best way to raise well-adjusted children in the 21st century. He emphasises the need for shared parenting in a time when community values are undergoing dramatic changes. With the rise of women’s movements and the ever-increasing complexity of our modern world, the father’s role in the family is more important than ever. Rob provides practical solutions to fathers as they face the numerous challenges of raising their sons in a digital world with all its fake news and other hazards.
This book should be mandatory reading for those contemplating starting a family. Rob Sturrock has outlined a value-system that will enhance any marriage as well as providing information on raising children to become confident and well-balanced individuals. With younger generations seemingly consumed by ‘now’ moments and showing little interest in the future of their world, it is refreshing to read such a thoughtful book. Numerous studies showing the benefits resulting from parents that are deeply committed to caring for their children are précised. This book is about the role of the father in raising a son to become a successful man - a story of hope for the future!
Dr Robert Carter
This book should be mandatory reading for those contemplating starting a family. Rob Sturrock has outlined a value-system that will enhance any marriage as well as providing information on raising children to become confident and well-balanced individuals. With younger generations seemingly consumed by ‘now’ moments and showing little interest in the future of their world, it is refreshing to read such a thoughtful book. Numerous studies showing the benefits resulting from parents that are deeply committed to caring for their children are précised. This book is about the role of the father in raising a son to become a successful man - a story of hope for the future!
Dr Robert Carter
February 18, 2020
I’ll be buying a copy of this book for every dad (or dad-to be) that I know! It contains a lot of important info, but is also a very easy, page-turning read.
It covers every topic that you can imagine about raising boys. Including traditional gender roles and why Dads’ should try to break from traditional roles (for their own sake, as well as their sons). But where and how to start?! It examines the practical challenges that dad’s face every day- like paternity leave, workplace culture, and pressure to be the “breadwinner” - all the things that work against Dads.
This book takes you through the key biological milestones along your son’s journey, and challenges for the future, like Social Media and Bullying.
It also looks at general issues like how to raise a “real man” - and why it’s probably better to focus on raising a “good man” (for everyone’s sake)!
I honestly loved everything about this book and could not put it down. It’s thoroughly researched and includes fascinating interviews with celebrity Dads who are trying to do things a bit differently. The author is talented writer, and his love and concern for his son shines through in every word. Every Dad will relate to this book.
(I was lucky enough to get an early reading copy from the publisher, thank you!)
It covers every topic that you can imagine about raising boys. Including traditional gender roles and why Dads’ should try to break from traditional roles (for their own sake, as well as their sons). But where and how to start?! It examines the practical challenges that dad’s face every day- like paternity leave, workplace culture, and pressure to be the “breadwinner” - all the things that work against Dads.
This book takes you through the key biological milestones along your son’s journey, and challenges for the future, like Social Media and Bullying.
It also looks at general issues like how to raise a “real man” - and why it’s probably better to focus on raising a “good man” (for everyone’s sake)!
I honestly loved everything about this book and could not put it down. It’s thoroughly researched and includes fascinating interviews with celebrity Dads who are trying to do things a bit differently. The author is talented writer, and his love and concern for his son shines through in every word. Every Dad will relate to this book.
(I was lucky enough to get an early reading copy from the publisher, thank you!)
March 1, 2020
This book presents nice ideas about gender equality and parenting but frankly the book is very unrealistic for most parents and is written like a very long opinion piece. It doesn’t present any new ideas at all, with a lot of the ideas being centred around “showing love”. I I was excited to see a man writing about fatherhood and a lot of the book is very good, but I found this an idealistic book on parenting written by an upper middle class white man and the challenges faced by the author and other friends of his within the book are unlikely to be relatable for the majority of families trying to make ends meet whilst raising their family. The book is reflective and introspective at times but there are a lot of pop culture references and analogies which after a while dilute the messages about toxic masculinity and supportive parenting. But the concept is good and I think there will be more to come from this author in the future
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 3, 2020
As a father of a 9 month old and having recently pondered how I will model masculinity for my son, Rob's book couldn't have come at a better time.
The book handles a wide range of complex and important topics in an accessible and consumable manner.
Be prepared for some expletives, a tonne of superhero and Star Wars references, plus some cameo insights peppered throughout the read.
Rob is honest and open, beyond courage. The prologue had me in tears and a lump in my throat.
He has have given structure and a voice to thoughts I have had about parenthood, masculinity and fears of navigating my son through this ever-changing technology-laden future.
Moreover, the book has sparked questions and discussions in a way only meaningful literature does.
Buy this book for yourself, your mates and fathers, plus anyone who wants to see boys grow to be good men.
The book handles a wide range of complex and important topics in an accessible and consumable manner.
Be prepared for some expletives, a tonne of superhero and Star Wars references, plus some cameo insights peppered throughout the read.
Rob is honest and open, beyond courage. The prologue had me in tears and a lump in my throat.
He has have given structure and a voice to thoughts I have had about parenthood, masculinity and fears of navigating my son through this ever-changing technology-laden future.
Moreover, the book has sparked questions and discussions in a way only meaningful literature does.
Buy this book for yourself, your mates and fathers, plus anyone who wants to see boys grow to be good men.
February 25, 2020
I am so glad I read this book. Having a baby son in 2020 is kind of terrifying. How do I make sure he is not going to grow up to be the bully in the class? Or worse, the bully in his relationships? This book was easy to read, funny and relate-able. Best of all it made me feel like there were little things I could start doing now to raise a healthy, confident and secure little boy, who will turn into a caring and kind man. This is just one dad's story of looking for answers, but he takes you on the journey with him. There are lots of facts and citations if I want to go right to the source myself, but the book itself has already given me so much to think about. I hope all the dads out there take the time to read this one, especially if they have sons.
March 2, 2020
This isn’t revolutionary, this is a book by a man with a son barely out of diapers who is rich enough to not need to work and thus can stay at home for
Months at a time, who spends an entire book telling you all why he is right about parenting and everyone else is wrong. And how would he know, his son luke is barely a toddler. What an “expert”. As a mother of three boys with a working husband and a mortgage I found this book very hard to finish, and would love this man to join the real world with everyone else and for someone to write a book that actually addresses how to practically raise sons in the #metoo era.
Months at a time, who spends an entire book telling you all why he is right about parenting and everyone else is wrong. And how would he know, his son luke is barely a toddler. What an “expert”. As a mother of three boys with a working husband and a mortgage I found this book very hard to finish, and would love this man to join the real world with everyone else and for someone to write a book that actually addresses how to practically raise sons in the #metoo era.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 14, 2020
This is an essential read for all parents, in particular Dads, Grandfather's, Uncle's or any man involved in raising boys. I thoroughly enjoyed the serious and lighthearted moments in this book and found myself questioning how my partner and I are raising our son in today's landscape. Rob takes a holistic view of all the elements involved in raising our boys to be resilient, emotionally balanced and ultimately happy and fulfilled men. This will certainly be a purchase I make for friends and family welcoming little boys into their families.
March 4, 2020
Ok book but not 'revolutionary'. Read it based on the glowing reviews but I wonder if those people actually have children, because it is not anything new. But have to admit it is still it is an amusing read and I would still recommend it as it does not take long to read and it is clearly a thinly veiled attack on his own father and some bigger issues, made more obvious with the star wars references and the comments about absent fathers and fathers who work full time.
March 4, 2020
A great read for all parents and parents-to-be. This book covers all the things that cause angst and worry in parents who are raising boys in this challenging time. It gives practical and insightful guidance for navigating the journey, offering a well-researched and balanced approach for dealing with a whole a range of issues. It also an easy to read book - many laughs, some great insights from well known dads and an engaging discussion of contemporary social issues.
March 4, 2020
Not “revolutionary” and not exactly an expert on parenting. Not a practical book by any means. Entertaining read however and clearly a thinly veiled attempt to criticise his own father.
March 4, 2020
So disappointed. Yet another self confessed “expert”. As a dad I find this book a patronising piece of rubbish
March 9, 2020
Not bad for first time dads but no real practical approaches. But easy to read and lots of real life stories and highlighted some of the issues
October 10, 2020
I really think someone needs more experience raising boys before writing a book on it
December 31, 2020
With moments that ranged from laugh out loud funny to deeply thought provoking and moving, I found Man Raises Boy to be a powerful and insightful read. As someone thinking about concepts of masculinity, parenting and what it means to be a good man, I found this book to be a call to action for all men to step and do more for our families and friends. I’d recommend this to all my friends to read though; the ideas and stories shared here can benefit us all.
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews