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Against My Will
‘Asperger’s made me a prisoner in my own home. When I finally entered the real world, evil was waiting.’
A shocking true account of one girl’s harrowing journey to survival.
Sophie Crockett spent most of her childhood suffering from crippling anxiety. Diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, she became a virtual prisoner in her own home, afraid to venture outside. After battling with depression, eating disorders and self-harm, Sophie had the courage to re-enter society in her late teens.
She was just 17 when she fell prey to ST, a violent bully who exploited her vulnerability and cruelly assumed complete coercive control over her life. He kept Sophie captive and refused to leave her alone; fed her, bathed her, even escorted her to the toilet. Sophie endured countless tirades of mental and physical abuse, kept as his sex slave while he repeatedly threatened to kill her.
She was convinced it was the end. But through her bravery, and with little help from the authorities, Sophie was able to escape.
This is her story.
A shocking true account of one girl’s harrowing journey to survival.
Sophie Crockett spent most of her childhood suffering from crippling anxiety. Diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, she became a virtual prisoner in her own home, afraid to venture outside. After battling with depression, eating disorders and self-harm, Sophie had the courage to re-enter society in her late teens.
She was just 17 when she fell prey to ST, a violent bully who exploited her vulnerability and cruelly assumed complete coercive control over her life. He kept Sophie captive and refused to leave her alone; fed her, bathed her, even escorted her to the toilet. Sophie endured countless tirades of mental and physical abuse, kept as his sex slave while he repeatedly threatened to kill her.
She was convinced it was the end. But through her bravery, and with little help from the authorities, Sophie was able to escape.
This is her story.
295 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 9, 2020
45 people are currently reading
283 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 47 reviews
February 19, 2023
I found it to be a riveting read about a young lady Sophie with Asperger's Syndrome which is on the autism spectrum. Sophie was 17 years old and definitely not a worldly 17 year old when at a political interest meeting she met "ST." Sophie had her own struggles due to Asperger's and had, prior to this led quite a sheltered and protected life. Socialising was difficult as it is for many on the autism spectrum and this was Sophie 's first political meeting. She had no idea she would encounter a real life monster who would quickly take complete control over every aspect of her existence.
Initially, she would ask herself if she was over-reacting. Was ST wanting to be her boyfriend? Is this how all boyfriends act? Am I supposed to feel o.k. or even good with this? And very quickly, she realized, this isn't what I thought, he isn't who he pretended to be. How do I escape? That opportunity wouldn't present itself for two long years. And by then, it was almost too late.
Initially, she would ask herself if she was over-reacting. Was ST wanting to be her boyfriend? Is this how all boyfriends act? Am I supposed to feel o.k. or even good with this? And very quickly, she realized, this isn't what I thought, he isn't who he pretended to be. How do I escape? That opportunity wouldn't present itself for two long years. And by then, it was almost too late.
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July 30, 2023THIS IS ONE LARGE, NEVER ENDING, CRUEL, HORRIFIC TRIGGER. Sure I actually did read the synopsis this time believe it or not. I found this book on scrib’d and I’m getting used to how it works. Regardless, I’m usually able to read just about anything. I don’t think I can read this. Because triggers vary per person I am choosing to not list mine that are represented in this book in case simply reading this review is enough to upset someone. I don’t think I could forgive myself of that. I will say the young woman is diagnosed on the autism spectrum, and that spectrum is so mighty, so varied, so overwhelming. But that diagnosis does not stop someone from living in all cases, and that’s one thing that all of us needs to remember. I’m going to mark this book read, but I’m not rating it. I’m doing that in case down the line I see this book with a different cover and pick it up once again to read (which happens quite often). It’s just basically a bookkeeping measure for me.
March 31, 2020
An Unforgettable Read!
The only thing I disliked about this book is that there is a need for it because abuse and exploitation exists. Aside from that, I found it to be a riveting read about a young lady with Aspergers Syndrome which is on the autism spectrum. Sophie was 17 and definitely NOT a "worldly" 17 when at a political interest meeting she met "ST." Sophie had her own struggles due to Aspergers and had, prior to this led quite a sheltered and protected life. Socialization was difficult as it is for many on the autism spectrum and this was Sophie 's first political meeting. She had no idea she would encounter a real life monster who would quickly take complete control over every aspect of her existence!
Initially, she would ask herself if she was over-reacting. Was ST wanting to be her boyfriend? Is this how ALL boyfriends act? Am I supposed to feel o.k. or even good with this? And very quickly, she realized, this isn't what I thought, HE isn't who he pretended to be. How do I escape? That opportunity wouldn't present itself for two long years. And by then, it was almost too late!
This book is very well written and is a true story. As such, I did a bit of research after I finished. I was appalled and horrified that the first article I clicked on -- a newspaper article in Wales, I believe, had referred to Sophie and ST as boyfriend and girlfriend or, "partner" and I emailed the author because there IS no "partner" in abuse! To misrepresent that in the media does EVERY victim ( ESPECIALLY Sophie in this instance) a HUGE disservice! Partner involves a mutual consent and agreement. It should be made abundantly clear that Sophie Crocker was a VICTIM as surely as Simon Tibble is a perpetrator!
The only thing I disliked about this book is that there is a need for it because abuse and exploitation exists. Aside from that, I found it to be a riveting read about a young lady with Aspergers Syndrome which is on the autism spectrum. Sophie was 17 and definitely NOT a "worldly" 17 when at a political interest meeting she met "ST." Sophie had her own struggles due to Aspergers and had, prior to this led quite a sheltered and protected life. Socialization was difficult as it is for many on the autism spectrum and this was Sophie 's first political meeting. She had no idea she would encounter a real life monster who would quickly take complete control over every aspect of her existence!
Initially, she would ask herself if she was over-reacting. Was ST wanting to be her boyfriend? Is this how ALL boyfriends act? Am I supposed to feel o.k. or even good with this? And very quickly, she realized, this isn't what I thought, HE isn't who he pretended to be. How do I escape? That opportunity wouldn't present itself for two long years. And by then, it was almost too late!
This book is very well written and is a true story. As such, I did a bit of research after I finished. I was appalled and horrified that the first article I clicked on -- a newspaper article in Wales, I believe, had referred to Sophie and ST as boyfriend and girlfriend or, "partner" and I emailed the author because there IS no "partner" in abuse! To misrepresent that in the media does EVERY victim ( ESPECIALLY Sophie in this instance) a HUGE disservice! Partner involves a mutual consent and agreement. It should be made abundantly clear that Sophie Crocker was a VICTIM as surely as Simon Tibble is a perpetrator!
April 5, 2021
Another utterly terrifying true story of a young girl who falls victim to a vicious and sadistic narcissist. Sophie is an impressionable teenager who meets a seemingly charming man at a rally and strikes up an immediate and intensely sexualised relationship with him. Soon she is living with him and being abused daily. Even on the occasions she manages to leave and go back to her parents, she is so terrified he will kill her or her family that she always goes back to him. Sophie is a brave woman, and it's so satisfying to see that she finally stands up to him and finds her voice.
March 31, 2020
Really enjoyed reading this although it is of a horrific nature !
I want to say to the author you are one brave woman and I hope the future is brighter for you
I want to say to the author you are one brave woman and I hope the future is brighter for you
November 12, 2021
Up to a point this is a very good book.
Until the cruelty started to the dog.
This was disgusting and worse than the abuse the recipient received.
I blame both parties for this behaviour.
absolutely disgusting to bring this poor dog into a volatile abuse relationship, and then Have the dog ABUSED.
You both repulse me.
Until the cruelty started to the dog.
This was disgusting and worse than the abuse the recipient received.
I blame both parties for this behaviour.
absolutely disgusting to bring this poor dog into a volatile abuse relationship, and then Have the dog ABUSED.
You both repulse me.
January 31, 2021
Was good although a little repetitive at times but interesting and would of been good to know more about court case as that seemed slightly rushed. I hope Sophie has a good future and good luck with the degree!
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April 26, 2023I would like to start by saying that I will not be giving this book a rating. I feel like it is wrong to do that when it isn't fiction and is about someone's life.
I did not understand why she couldn't just leave the guy. He clearly had mental health issues and things were only going to get worse. She refused to tell the police or her parents, who actually seemed like nice people. I get that she had mental health problems and I may not know what she really went through, but no one should stay with a person like that. I completely don't understand why she didn't contact the police or at least leave him and stop meeting up with him. To me it seems like pure idiocy. I'm sorry for saying that, but no person with a brain would voluntarily put themselves repeatedly in that situation.
Before starting this book, I felt like he kept her captive and didn't let her leave. I reality, she was able to leave his house, but would come back the next day because why not, I guess.
She, for some reason, decided to keep going back him even after he raped her and threatened to kill her. This sounds so stupid to me. I can't believe this story!
The thing that REALLY upset me was how he treated the dog. That poor little puppy has to go through so much because of that maniac and because she STILL refused to leave him. WHAT THE HELL!!!
This would have been the best moment to finally weak the hell up and leave him. I cannot understand why the dog had to keep suffering because of her foolish behaviour.
I also don't understand why she felt the need to write a book. If this was a story worth writing, then it would have actually taught people something. Instead, it made people realise how stupid her choices were, making them not learn anything useful other than that it's ok for men to do whatever they want because women would accept it.
It is sad what Simon Tibble and that he didn't properly pay for his crimes.
I did not understand why she couldn't just leave the guy. He clearly had mental health issues and things were only going to get worse. She refused to tell the police or her parents, who actually seemed like nice people. I get that she had mental health problems and I may not know what she really went through, but no one should stay with a person like that. I completely don't understand why she didn't contact the police or at least leave him and stop meeting up with him. To me it seems like pure idiocy. I'm sorry for saying that, but no person with a brain would voluntarily put themselves repeatedly in that situation.
Before starting this book, I felt like he kept her captive and didn't let her leave. I reality, she was able to leave his house, but would come back the next day because why not, I guess.
She, for some reason, decided to keep going back him even after he raped her and threatened to kill her. This sounds so stupid to me. I can't believe this story!
The thing that REALLY upset me was how he treated the dog. That poor little puppy has to go through so much because of that maniac and because she STILL refused to leave him. WHAT THE HELL!!!
This would have been the best moment to finally weak the hell up and leave him. I cannot understand why the dog had to keep suffering because of her foolish behaviour.
I also don't understand why she felt the need to write a book. If this was a story worth writing, then it would have actually taught people something. Instead, it made people realise how stupid her choices were, making them not learn anything useful other than that it's ok for men to do whatever they want because women would accept it.
It is sad what Simon Tibble and that he didn't properly pay for his crimes.
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February 23, 2020A heartbreaking story of abuse, manipulation and the strength of one woman, an amazing story from the survivor of the abuse. There are lots of triggers in this book, that may set off some people,
This book starts off ok but seems a bit rushed then cuts to the background of how she got there in the first place the abuse and mental abuse she went through, found it hard to put down, cried a lot, found the abrupt end of the story and the back to where we started a bit abruptly As I said, bit rushed in places but captivating, emotional, intense reading this book has left me feeling blah and angry not just for a few hours but a few days, didn't even want my partner to touch me after reading this book ( he was relieved that only lasted 24 hours)
This book starts off ok but seems a bit rushed then cuts to the background of how she got there in the first place the abuse and mental abuse she went through, found it hard to put down, cried a lot, found the abrupt end of the story and the back to where we started a bit abruptly As I said, bit rushed in places but captivating, emotional, intense reading this book has left me feeling blah and angry not just for a few hours but a few days, didn't even want my partner to touch me after reading this book ( he was relieved that only lasted 24 hours)
January 21, 2020
So inspirational, read it within a day.
Such a brave girl sharing her story would recommend everyone to read this.
Such a brave girl sharing her story would recommend everyone to read this.
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June 19, 2020It was a quick read, there were times that I almost stopped reading it, hard to believe what this young girl went through
August 1, 2022
I enjoyed this read, but I found the writing very repetitive. She uses the same verbiage and phrases over and over. At a certain point, my mind started wandering because I felt like she wasn’t progressing the story or anyone’s viewpoint, just repeating the same thing for like 4 or 5 chapters.
I also felt like the ending needed more finesse. The chapter about victim support services and her finding her own way to make the system work for her came out of nowhere. I appreciate her viewpoint on the holes in the system and that she feels passionately about it, but I also felt like - if you feel passionately about it why hasn’t this been mentioned at ANY point throughout the entire book?
I think it was more just a step by step vivid portrayal of her experience, as opposed to the more classic rounded out memoir I expected with more of a philosophical retrospect, lessons learned throughout carrying through the story, etc. It almost read like a victims statement to police instead of a memoir.
Still, if you like dark memoirs her story is good. Just not my favourite and I felt like it was really missing something, that sort of overarching perspective you get from memoirs like Educated, Wild, The Glass Castle, etc.
I also felt like the ending needed more finesse. The chapter about victim support services and her finding her own way to make the system work for her came out of nowhere. I appreciate her viewpoint on the holes in the system and that she feels passionately about it, but I also felt like - if you feel passionately about it why hasn’t this been mentioned at ANY point throughout the entire book?
I think it was more just a step by step vivid portrayal of her experience, as opposed to the more classic rounded out memoir I expected with more of a philosophical retrospect, lessons learned throughout carrying through the story, etc. It almost read like a victims statement to police instead of a memoir.
Still, if you like dark memoirs her story is good. Just not my favourite and I felt like it was really missing something, that sort of overarching perspective you get from memoirs like Educated, Wild, The Glass Castle, etc.
July 22, 2020
Was an easy read however it led to many questions on the cases of manipulation and violence whether sexual, physical or emotional not to mention but a few that we experience or are and are not aware of and their ties to mental health and how we as a society together with our legal systems resolve them and rehabilitate the victims as well as the offenders. The cost of being in a vulnerable state that points one to fall into the prey trap of such occurrences where they become part of a cult, a narcissistic relationship etc, the brainwashing that happens, the controlling and manipulation and the escape that almost never happens are all too surreal yet they happen around us. Sophie is a real trooper for coming out and acting as voice for the many a people who've lost their voice in their struggle or who don't have it at all in their own individual fight.
June 13, 2020
You look at this book cover and immediately you kinda have a feeling of exactly how the story is going to pan out and what to expect. But your wrong this book hold so much more than an exploited, abused individuals take. It hold the real life endurance of a women with Asperger syndrome and her fight to be able able to live her life daily. The real struggles she had endured from being a child right up untill adulthood. The true essence of being scared of your own shadow, feeling of being alien to the world and trying to forge a sense of normalisation in a world that is completely alien to you only to finally have a scrap of life in the foresight for it to be cruelly snatched away by a sadistic, worthless individual.
January 14, 2021
Horrific abuse
This poor girl suffered such awful abuse, it was difficult to read at times. Hearing her talk about how her Aspergers had made it difficult to know what a normal relationship should be like and hearing how that monster preyed on her was heartbreaking. That man is the epitome of evil. And the justice system once again failed, our justice system is a sham, its all for the criminals and the victim is hung out to dry and Sophies story just highlighted this. I think she's incredibly brave and I'm totally humbled at how difficult it must have been for her to relive this by writing the book but she deserves for her voice to be heard. I wish her so much happiness for the future because she truly deserves it.
This poor girl suffered such awful abuse, it was difficult to read at times. Hearing her talk about how her Aspergers had made it difficult to know what a normal relationship should be like and hearing how that monster preyed on her was heartbreaking. That man is the epitome of evil. And the justice system once again failed, our justice system is a sham, its all for the criminals and the victim is hung out to dry and Sophies story just highlighted this. I think she's incredibly brave and I'm totally humbled at how difficult it must have been for her to relive this by writing the book but she deserves for her voice to be heard. I wish her so much happiness for the future because she truly deserves it.
December 1, 2020
This story made me weep. I had picked it for Nonfiction November, but I just could not get it in. It is not an easy read / listen and I had to keep starting and stopping because it leaves you with an icky feeling. I also did not like the narrator. Still I powered thru and got this one under my belt. It is a telling story that reminds you that not only here in the US where victims of abuse (any kind) are still treated like the problem by the courts. This young girl was taken against her will for several years, groomed to take it by her abuser, and still the courts did not take that into account. Read if you dare, make sure your heart is ready to go in and fight.
January 29, 2022
This was a very, very disturbing read. I know she had Aspergers but how could she keep going back for more? If only she could have found it within herself to tell her parents because they sound such lovely people.
Even when she was presented with the Osman letter by the Police she did nothing. This warned that he was a great danger to people. Also when Simon Tibble went on trial why was no mention made of this letter? His sentence was ridiculously lenient and to know that he was soon back on the streets again is a disgrace.
This has left me feeling really angry and confused. I hope Sophie is in a better place now.
Even when she was presented with the Osman letter by the Police she did nothing. This warned that he was a great danger to people. Also when Simon Tibble went on trial why was no mention made of this letter? His sentence was ridiculously lenient and to know that he was soon back on the streets again is a disgrace.
This has left me feeling really angry and confused. I hope Sophie is in a better place now.
September 21, 2021
Wow! This was a hard book to read. But this author deserves 5 stars. It was incredibly brave of her to tell her story in such details to help others and show victims it’s ok to speak out.
“I just want to refer to him as ‘ST’. To call him by his name humanises something that isn’t human”
That quote from Sophie was so strong and just gives you an idea of how truly horrible this man was.
Despite all of her trials and tribulations she has risen up and done great things. Truly a story of resilience and bravery as well as heroism.
“I just want to refer to him as ‘ST’. To call him by his name humanises something that isn’t human”
That quote from Sophie was so strong and just gives you an idea of how truly horrible this man was.
Despite all of her trials and tribulations she has risen up and done great things. Truly a story of resilience and bravery as well as heroism.
November 6, 2021
A heartbreaking story about horrific abuse. It is so wrong that some people have to go through things this horrible in their lifetime. Sophie Crockett was extremely brave to write this using her real name and I raise my hat in praise for her strength and I hope only the best for her in the future.
I find it hard to rate a book about someone's subjective experience, but kudos for the courage for telling this story and sharing these horrors with the world as domestic abuse is still a subject way too often suppressed.
I find it hard to rate a book about someone's subjective experience, but kudos for the courage for telling this story and sharing these horrors with the world as domestic abuse is still a subject way too often suppressed.
September 28, 2020
This story is so heartbreaking but extremely important. There are parts I wish I didn’t have to read. I think it’s important for people to know that there is not just abuse of a human in this book but an animal too. This is not a spoiler it’s a trigger warning. I’m so glad Sophie wrote this book under her real name, it makes her so much more human that we can google what she looks like and read more articles about what happened.
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December 10, 2020It’s hard for me to write a review on someone’s personal and harrowing tragedy. I finished the book in an evening and it left an unsettling feeling my stomach. I can not even begin to imagine being in her position or going through what she had to endure. There were parts that I was unable read and had to skim through. I was relieved to find an ending where she was “free” from him physically and in awe of her grit and determination to rebuild a life for herself.
September 30, 2023
A incredible and educational book which delves into serious issues, and provides insight into people on the spectrum. Sophie, a strong young teenager, struggled through her childhood. She meets “ST” who traumatised her and keeps her from her family. The graphic writing and description of the events Sophie went under, may not be for everyone, but it was incredibly thought out book. Would recommend to anyone who enjoys true stories. Sophie is a true survivor who’s story deserves to be heard.
July 20, 2025
First off, let me clear up why I gave this 5 star… the horror Sophie has experienced and gone through is awful but to do this with Asperger’s and survive that’s 5 stars right there for you.
There is a ton of trigger warnings in this story and it’s not for the faint hearted, even I had to gasp at some of the descriptions.
The book gives a lot of hope and strength for the future after going through a traumatic experience like this and would be lovely to hear how she’s doing now!
There is a ton of trigger warnings in this story and it’s not for the faint hearted, even I had to gasp at some of the descriptions.
The book gives a lot of hope and strength for the future after going through a traumatic experience like this and would be lovely to hear how she’s doing now!
February 23, 2022
Asperger’s
Child
Fear
Abuse
Predator
This is Sophie’s true story of survival. ST took advantage of her and made her a “prisoner” threatening to kill her family and even going as far as standing outside there house with a can of gasoline.
“I felt like a lab rat, pushed, probed and tested to the point of submission, too confined to the cage to brave the outside world.”
3.5 Stars
Child
Fear
Abuse
Predator
This is Sophie’s true story of survival. ST took advantage of her and made her a “prisoner” threatening to kill her family and even going as far as standing outside there house with a can of gasoline.
“I felt like a lab rat, pushed, probed and tested to the point of submission, too confined to the cage to brave the outside world.”
3.5 Stars
December 18, 2025
sad read
This poor girl, I'm sure her loved ones did more to help? I understand as a parent you are seen as interfering or controlling but?? My child is Aspergers and I'm incredibly protective of them. Shame on the police and witness protection.
That disgusting bully I hope life serves you with what you deserve
This poor girl, I'm sure her loved ones did more to help? I understand as a parent you are seen as interfering or controlling but?? My child is Aspergers and I'm incredibly protective of them. Shame on the police and witness protection.
That disgusting bully I hope life serves you with what you deserve
August 2, 2024
I don’t feel like her story is 100% believable. And I agree with other reviewers who said the author uses the same phrases over and over. I recommend Sole Survivor by Holly Dunn and Shattered by Debra Puglisi Sharp, much more intriguing reads in a similar theme/topic.
June 23, 2020
Beaten and sexually assaulted by a brutal sex monster
July 5, 2020
I hate that I’m giving this book a 5 but it’s only because how sad that this can happen.
July 14, 2020
It was definitely easy to read and hard to put down. However it is kind of disturbing what this girl went through and how manipulative the man was of her and took advantage of her.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 47 reviews