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School Days #2
The Final Term
Back by popular demand, The School The Final Term
A clip round the ear, the ruler, the cane, the slipper, detention, writing lines and forever standing in line. Take a humorous journey back in time to the school days of yesteryear when teachers were a law unto themselves.
Excerpt:
As you will be aware, Allan was suspended from chemistry lessons indefinitely after only two weeks of the final term. I have had boys make "stink bombs" many times before during my long painful career as a chemistry teacher, but never on a scale of this magnitude. The lethal brew that Allan and his cronies concocted was of such a powerful strength that I was certain we'd be getting a visit from the United Nations chemical weapons inspectors.
A clip round the ear, the ruler, the cane, the slipper, detention, writing lines and forever standing in line. Take a humorous journey back in time to the school days of yesteryear when teachers were a law unto themselves.
Excerpt:
As you will be aware, Allan was suspended from chemistry lessons indefinitely after only two weeks of the final term. I have had boys make "stink bombs" many times before during my long painful career as a chemistry teacher, but never on a scale of this magnitude. The lethal brew that Allan and his cronies concocted was of such a powerful strength that I was certain we'd be getting a visit from the United Nations chemical weapons inspectors.
73 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 7, 2019
4 people are currently reading
6 people want to read
About the author
Simon Northouse
24 books22 followersSimon Northouse writes books that entertain. His stories include hefty doses of self-deprecating satire, ironic farce and droll bathos delivered in a deadpan Yorkshire voice.
However, as many of his fans have pointed out, there is much, much more to his books than laughter.
He touches on social issues that have plagued humans since the first man pointed at a woman on the back of a woolly mammoth and shouted, "Oi, love, come down from there. That's a man's job!" Racism, misogyny, sexism, elitism, classism, anxiety, self-doubt and entitlement are just a sprinkling of issues that intersperse his works.
He’s also big on love, mateship, truth and loyalty and their darker flip sides. Yes, there is humour, bonding, ridiculous situations and tender touching moments of true feeling that live alongside each other on the page. His philosophy is simple, entertain!
Oh, and lastly, Simon Northouse is not a New York Times or USA Today bestselling author. He has yet to be nominated for the Booker Prize or Miles Franklin Award and he is still waiting on a call from the Nobel Foundation—the clock is ticking, people.
He is the author of the Soul Love, The Shooting Star and School Days series. He also puts out a cracking monthly newsletter which you can find by just typing, "Discombobulated Newsletter" into your web search engine—I kid you not!
You can sign up here: http://www.snorthouse.com/home-page/n...
However, as many of his fans have pointed out, there is much, much more to his books than laughter.
He touches on social issues that have plagued humans since the first man pointed at a woman on the back of a woolly mammoth and shouted, "Oi, love, come down from there. That's a man's job!" Racism, misogyny, sexism, elitism, classism, anxiety, self-doubt and entitlement are just a sprinkling of issues that intersperse his works.
He’s also big on love, mateship, truth and loyalty and their darker flip sides. Yes, there is humour, bonding, ridiculous situations and tender touching moments of true feeling that live alongside each other on the page. His philosophy is simple, entertain!
Oh, and lastly, Simon Northouse is not a New York Times or USA Today bestselling author. He has yet to be nominated for the Booker Prize or Miles Franklin Award and he is still waiting on a call from the Nobel Foundation—the clock is ticking, people.
He is the author of the Soul Love, The Shooting Star and School Days series. He also puts out a cracking monthly newsletter which you can find by just typing, "Discombobulated Newsletter" into your web search engine—I kid you not!
You can sign up here: http://www.snorthouse.com/home-page/n...
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Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews
September 21, 2019
Lighthearted & funny
The sequel to "The School Report: Before We Were Tsars", carries on in school report form for the final term with much of the same tongue in cheek, no holds barred school reports of the members of the 80s rock and roll band "The Shooting Tsars".
Having read the Shooting Tsars series and feeling like I know each of the band members, these "school reports" sum up their separate characters very well indeed. Allan "Gordie" Kincaid is the Scottish belligerent, troublemaker with a temper and a foul mouth but a brilliant lead guitarist, William "Will" Harding is the lead singer/songwriter and founder of the band (obviously a bit of a dreamer at school), Gordon "Robbo" Robinson is the dope smoking bass player and John "Flaky" Steele, is the born again Christian and vegetarian health freak whose arrogance obviously stemmed from way back.
This is a great short piece of fiction and quite funny if you don't take it too seriously and remember that it is just that - fiction. Obviously these reports are exaggerated but probably what many teachers past and present would loved to write. Being a baby boomer, our school reports were more succinct and to the point - if we weren't doing well it was certainly written in our reports but today's reports you can read between the lines and translate what the teacher would probably really like to say if they weren't so restricted.
Anyway, this is my long winded way of saying I loved all these books and highly recommend them to anyone who enjoys British humour and stories about a rock and roll band!
The sequel to "The School Report: Before We Were Tsars", carries on in school report form for the final term with much of the same tongue in cheek, no holds barred school reports of the members of the 80s rock and roll band "The Shooting Tsars".
Having read the Shooting Tsars series and feeling like I know each of the band members, these "school reports" sum up their separate characters very well indeed. Allan "Gordie" Kincaid is the Scottish belligerent, troublemaker with a temper and a foul mouth but a brilliant lead guitarist, William "Will" Harding is the lead singer/songwriter and founder of the band (obviously a bit of a dreamer at school), Gordon "Robbo" Robinson is the dope smoking bass player and John "Flaky" Steele, is the born again Christian and vegetarian health freak whose arrogance obviously stemmed from way back.
This is a great short piece of fiction and quite funny if you don't take it too seriously and remember that it is just that - fiction. Obviously these reports are exaggerated but probably what many teachers past and present would loved to write. Being a baby boomer, our school reports were more succinct and to the point - if we weren't doing well it was certainly written in our reports but today's reports you can read between the lines and translate what the teacher would probably really like to say if they weren't so restricted.
Anyway, this is my long winded way of saying I loved all these books and highly recommend them to anyone who enjoys British humour and stories about a rock and roll band!
February 8, 2019
As deliciously perverse as the first outing. If you haven’t heard
Actual Australian School Answering Machine Message
look for it on youTube.
One note about the foreword, better wording would be:
to be sitting here
In Lunenburg County, NS Centre Consolidated High School sat beside the County Jail and the quip was Two Jails on one hill. Seems rather apt. The principal objectives of high school appear to be to keep young people from prematurely entering the work force and to prepare them for the mind-numbing, soul-destroying drudgery of a 9 to 5 work day. Today students from all over the county are dragged to a single school built during the era of the failed experiment with open concept.
My high school had a similar cast of cartoon characters including Lurch and Fester. Lurch somehow crawled into a broken down Citroen.
Actual Australian School Answering Machine Message
look for it on youTube.
One note about the foreword, better wording would be:
to be sitting here
In Lunenburg County, NS Centre Consolidated High School sat beside the County Jail and the quip was Two Jails on one hill. Seems rather apt. The principal objectives of high school appear to be to keep young people from prematurely entering the work force and to prepare them for the mind-numbing, soul-destroying drudgery of a 9 to 5 work day. Today students from all over the county are dragged to a single school built during the era of the failed experiment with open concept.
My high school had a similar cast of cartoon characters including Lurch and Fester. Lurch somehow crawled into a broken down Citroen.
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews