“Donald Trump is a pathological narcissist.” “Look at all those selfies she posts social media – what a narcissist!” “I divorced my ex because he was an emotionally abusive narcissist.” Such labelling of others as “narcissists” is a common fixation in our culture. It seems every time you turn around you hear someone pulling out this label and slapping it on someone they disapprove of.
But what, exactly, is narcissism? How can you tell if someone you know is a narcissist? Can narcissists be cured or at least grow in reducing their narcissism? How should we deal with the narcissists in our lives? These are not easy questions, despite the confident assertions one often hears from self-anointed experts in self-help books and various online forums. Dr. W. Keith Campbell, who is a professor of psychology at the University of Georgia, has teamed up with independent journalist Carolyn Crist to “cut through the noise around narcissism” (from the back cover). Dr. Campbell appears to be one of the leading researchers in this field. In this book, he provide a lay audience with the cutting edge research on the topic of narcissism in an easily accessible manner.
The main conclusion of the book that I find relevant is that psychology researchers have broadened the concept of narcissism. Narcissism is no longer limited to its most extreme form, Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), but is now viewed as a personality trait that characterizes many people in varying degrees. On this new view, NPD as defined by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) is still a real thing, but it is merely the extreme end of a spectrum. Placing “narcissism” in a psychiatric manual that seeks to catalogue and diagnose “mental disorders” pathologizes narcissism. But what if narcissism isn’t so much a pathology or a mental illness but a personality trait that exists on a continuum? What we call NPD is simply when the narcissistic personality gets out of control and causes harm to others. That is what this book is basically arguing.
Dr. Campbell explains that “psychiatry was built with a medical model where people either did or didn’t have a distinct mental illness.” But psychology researchers “began to transition from this medical model to a personality model” (p. 95). Beginning in the 1980s, personality researchers developed “the big five” traits as the key ingredients that make up peoples’ personalities. (Paul Costa and Robert McCrae’s Five-Factor Model of Personality.) The acronym OCEAN is helpful for remembering them: Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism. The five traits are actually scales that can be measured on a continuum. Dr. Campbell, working within the OCEAN personality paradigm, argues that narcissism can best be understood as a particular collection of these five traits, actually three of the five.
This development in the field of psychology, from viewing narcissism within the “mental illness” frame to viewing it within the “personality” frame, is a paradigm shift with major implications. It opens up a broader perspective on narcissism. Under the medical model of mental illness, the prototypical narcissist was extremely extraverted, outgoing, and (initially) likable but lacked empathy and used people to bolster their self-image as being the best in whatever area they excelled. This is called “grandiose narcissism.” But with the shift to viewing narcissism as a personality trait, grandiose narcissism was no longer seen as the only version of narcissism. Now a second variety began to emerge, and this is now called “vulnerable narcissism.” Both are forms of narcissism where the self is the focus, but the difference is that whereas grandiose narcissists seek to build up their ego, vulnerable narcissists are more focused on protecting their ego from harm. Grandiose narcissists are focused on looking good, shining in public, and triumphing over others. Vulnerable narcissists are focused on not looking bad and losing face, and so are always scanning the environment for threats to their ego (p. 65).
Dr. Campbell argues for what he calls “the trifurcated model of narcissism.” I personally find this a bit confusing, since it is really a bifurcated model – grandiose vs. vulnerable narcissism. But the term “trifurcated” is referring to three personality traits of “the big five” that need to be examined in order to analyze narcissism. The three traits that Dr. Campbell relies on are Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism. (The first two traits of OCEAN – Openness and Conscientiousness – don’t make a difference in Dr. Campbell’s analysis.) A grandiose narcissist is high on the Extraversion scale, low on the Agreeableness scale (i.e., more antagonistic and disagreeable), and low in Neuroticism. A vulnerable narcissist is low on Extraversion (i.e., more introverted), low on Agreeableness, and high in Neuroticism (more anxious, fearful, and prone to sadness). On the first and third traits (Extraversion and Neuroticism) they are opposites: whereas the grandiose narcissist is an extravert, the vulnerable narcissist is an introvert; and whereas the grandiose narcissist is low in neuroticism, the vulnerable narcissist is high in neuroticism. The grandiose narcissist is a self-confident extravert. The vulnerable narcissist is an anxious introvert. But where they have overlap is on the middle trait – they both tend to have disagreeable or antagonistic personalities.
Furthermore, since narcissism is now being viewed under the lens of personality traits, it is no longer viewed as a mental illness or disorder which, when diagnosed, means that the narcissist is to be categorically defined as a sociopath, incapable of empathy or self-awareness, and totally incapable of change. On the old view, narcissists are utterly incurable, and the only thing that can be done is to fear them, mark them, separate from them, divorce them, and generally keep one’s distance from them. But if narcissism comes in two forms and if both are on a continuum with more or less narcissism viewed as a personality trait, then it is wrong to foster the fear of being harmed by the narcissist and then counsel the alleged “victim” that the only thing they can do is separate themselves from the narcissistic abuser. Of course, some narcissists may cause tremendous hurt to those around them, particularly their intimate partners. But why can’t they be confronted, made aware of their hurtful behavior, and learn to modify it? They may still struggle with narcissistic tendencies, but they can learn to reign them in so as to reduce harm to others.
Going back to the OCEAN analysis of personality traits, another way of putting this is, Can people change their personality traits or move their “slider” on each “channel” of OCEAN? Can a person who is low in Conscientiousness learn to be more conscientious? Can a person who is low in Agreeableness learn to be more agreeable? If narcissism is a recipe based on a collection of traits in OCEAN, and if those traits themselves are on a spectrum from low to high, then theoretically a narcissist could become more aware of the ways in which they are capable of giving in to their narcissism in a way that causes harm to others. They could presumably be taught to control their narcissistic behavior to limit hurting others. There is nothing in the new psychological model of narcissism preventing this. Narcissism is no longer an immutable mental disorder or a pathology that is difficult if not impossible to treat, but a personality trait that exists on a spectrum and that is more or less malleable.
As a theologian, I am struck by the fact that narcissism now just begins to look more like a basic description of our fallen human condition. Isn’t the essence of sin self-centeredness? Apart from grace, aren’t we all narcissists to some degree? Perhaps some of us hide it and manage it better than others. Perhaps we don’t all express it in its extraverted grandiose form. Perhaps we wallow in the more vulnerable variety that is harder to spot. But if we are honest with ourselves, aren’t we all narcissists of one stripe or another? If that is the case, then we can learn not to fear narcissism, whether in ourselves or in others, and we can believe in the power of God’s grace to transform us. Rather than labelling each other as narcissists, and using that “medical” diagnosis as justification to cut off relationships with those whom we feel have hurt us, we can recognize self-centeredness as sin (both in others and in ourselves) and then engage the battle with sin, not with the tools of modern psychotherapy but with the power of the gospel.