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The Four Laws of Love: Guaranteed Success for Every Married Couple

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The Four Laws of Love represents the culmination of Jimmy Evans’ influential career. In this deeply personal book, Jimmy Evans outlines the foundational pillars upon which God designed marriage. Without holding back, he tells the story of his own marriage, which was hurtling toward divorce until this self-proclaimed “bad husband” came to recognize and put into practice these four laws. This book sounds a wake-up call for every kind of marriage, including those that are barely surviving and those that seem to operate on autopilot. Couples who follow these simple guidelines — recognizing the original intent and purpose of marriage—will inject new life into their unions. They’ll see hurting marriages find healing and watch good marriages become great. Each revitalized relationship will play a part in restoring marriage to its sacred role at the center of human civilization.

154 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 11, 2020

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Jimmy Evans

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5 stars
360 (62%)
4 stars
163 (28%)
3 stars
45 (7%)
2 stars
9 (1%)
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2 (<1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 57 reviews
Profile Image for EVELYN RAY.
9 reviews
January 7, 2026
Such an amazing book!!!

Whether you’re single, engaged or married, this book outlines marriage in such a vulnerable, beautiful & authentic way.

Jimmy is honest and sincere - unafraid of discussing the good, bad and ugly of being in close relationship with others as sinners.

His advice is clear, biblical & sound. Many books about marriage feel more like a lecture, yet, during my entire time reading this book, it felt more like an open conversation, which I loved. I found myself feeling encouraged, seen and excited to implement biblical principles into every relationship - even friendships or with loved ones.

I loved sharing this book with my spouse, and will be recommending it to ALL of my friends!

God truly spoke to me through this novel to reflect on how I can authentically love others. Applicable to every area of our modern lives, The Four Laws of Love has truly impacted me beyond explanation!

Please read!!!!!

2 reviews
February 18, 2020
Every person on planet earth needs to read this. Whether you’re single, married, not sure if marriage is for you, divorced, etc - you will gain much knowledge and insight into God’s purpose for marriage and how to love your spouse. I read this book in two days! I was hooked. And I have already started to implement learnings into my own marriage.
134 reviews
March 3, 2021
I should have read this when I was first married--might have saved some problems! However it is good even now when I am older.
Profile Image for Katie G.
249 reviews
June 13, 2020
“What is your together purpose? it has to be something greater than paying the bills. What is it that you can be a part of as a married couple that is bigger than you? What is it that you can do together that you cannot do alone? That purpose will cause you to grow together and stay together for the rest of your lives” - Jimmy Evans
Profile Image for Kristina .
1,324 reviews74 followers
April 11, 2020
I was introduced to Jimmy Evans through an XO Marriage live streaming event (Hope for Homes) and liked his style of preaching. In his portion of that event, he mentioned this book and I was glad that Hoopla is featuring it as part of their collection. I adored this book! Evans breaks down the four laws of love found in Genesis, the initial Bible verse about marriage. I've been talking about three of the four laws mentioned ad nauseam to my husband for years, but for the first time was able to see ways that I fall short as well. I'm incredibly stubborn and struggle with pride, so I appreciated the direct way that this book points out what each spouse needs in a marriage and how to change your own behaviors instead of expecting your partner to do so first. I've already recommended this book to my husband and will for sure be rereading this in the future to reinforce the concepts presented.
848 reviews7 followers
September 29, 2021
I think this book would make a great wedding gift so I am sending it to my nephew who just got married. Although I think it would be an excellent book to have read before getting married to get started right. But any stage of marriage could use these reminders and will give you ideas to improve your marriage. It's never too late.

The 4 laws: Priority, Pursuit, Partnership and Purity. Then they are each broken down in the "how- too's" Great read for any stage of your relationship.
Remember "Marriage is a relationship created and sustained by God."

Marriage takes commitment, work and fun on our part.
5 reviews
February 14, 2026
Boken er et meget godt startpunkt for ens tanker om framtiden og hvordan tilnærme seg den. Ekte kjærlighet blir ikke bygget i overflatiske og selvsentrerte relasjoner.

Den som tror at det viktigste med ekteskap, familie og det å ha barn er å gjøre livet mest mulig behagelig for seg selv, vil trolig aldri oppleve ekte kjærlighet. Den som ser det å gi av seg selv som et tap, fordi ens ego er ens øverste prioritet, vil leve for evig i en konstant maktkamp om dominans med sine omgivelser. Og alle rundt den vil lide. Som boken sier, ekteskap krever at de gifte har hverandre som den viktigste personen i livet og at en da prioriterer hverandre deretter.

En kan ikke bety noe for hverandre med mindre en har behov for hverandre, og da kan det å trenge den andre eller selv å være trengt ikke forstås som en svakhet. Det må faktisk forstås som den største nøkkel overhode for å kunne komme nær hverandre og oppleve at noen bryr seg om en. Er ikke det hva vi søker? Hva er Happy Days uten noen å være happy med? Og hvor glad kan en være hvis det å ikke være "happy" betyr enden på visen? Blir ikke da det å framvise "lykke" og "positivitet" en tvangstrøye og et Damokles sverd?

Hvis det å kunne dele sin fortvilelse, sorg, frustrasjon, sinne og skamfølelse over sine "shortcomings" og "mislykkethet" faktisk er nøkkelen til å føle seg godt om seg selv og føle trygghet for framtiden, må en ikke anse disse naturlige delene av menneskehjertet som en gode og en gave? For hva er det et hjerte som bryr seg føler i vanskelige tider, der kanskje noen av dets nærmeste har vanskeligheter eller skaper vanskeligheter? Er det naturlig for et godt hjerte å da være fylt av glede eller ubekymrethet? Eller er det faktisk bare egoistiske og uempatiske hjerter som kan være så kalde?

Jeg tror at nye par har godt av ta seg god tid til bare det å lande og bygge fortrolighet sammen. En kommer fra hver sin kant, med mye forskjellige erfaringer. Jeg lurer på om det er lurt å minimere eksternt engasjement og begrense besøkende i en lengre periode, for å ha roen og tiden en trenger til å avklimatisere seg til den nye tilværelsen. Det er nok en periode der en gjør klokt i å ikke ha store forventninger til hverandre og til hva forholdet skal være. Et forhold er et livsprosjekt, ikke en ferieweekend for underholdningens skyld. Det er faktisk ikke så nøye hvordan starten er, for det er veien videre sammen som er det som teller for hvor en ender opp. Og den som tror at livet er en picnic uten seriøse utfordringer vil stort sett gå på en smell senere i livet. Det er ikke antall utfordringer som avgjør hvor godt forholdet blir, men heller hvor gode en er i forholdet til å bearbeide og samarbeide rundt dem. Jeg tror de beste forholdene er de som har vært gjennom mye og kommet ut mer samlet og enshjertet enn de trodde var mulig.

"Og den som tar imot et slikt lite barn i mitt navn, tar imot meg.
Men den som lokker til fall en av disse små som tror på meg, han var bedre tjent med å få en kvernstein hengt om halsen og bli senket i havets dyp.
Ve denne verden som lokker til fall! Forførelsene må komme, men ve det mennesket som de kommer fra!"

"Salige er de som sørger,
for de skal trøstes.
Salige er de ydmyke,
for de skal arve jorden.
Salige er de som hungrer og tørster etter rettferdigheten,
for de skal mettes.
Salige er de barmhjertige,
for de skal få barmhjertighet.
Salige er de rene av hjertet,
for de skal se Gud.
Salige er de som skaper fred,
for de skal kalles Guds barn.
Salige er de som blir forfulgt for rettferdighets skyld,
for himmelriket er deres.
Ja, salige er dere når de for min skyld håner og forfølger dere, [lyver] og snakker ondt om dere på alle vis. Gled og fryd dere, for stor er lønnen dere har i himmelen."

"Et rettferdig menneskes bønn er virksom og utretter mye."

"Be, så skal dere få. Let, så skal dere finne. Bank på, så skal det lukkes opp for dere. "

"La dere ikke føre vill, mine kjære søsken! All god gave og all fullkommen gave kommer ovenfra, fra ham som er himmellysenes Far. Hos ham er det ingen forandring eller skiftende skygger. "

"Vær ikke bekymret for noe! Men legg alt dere har på hjertet, fram for Gud. Be og kall på ham med takk. Og Guds fred, som overgår all forstand, skal bevare deres hjerter og tanker ... Til slutt, søsken: Alt som er sant og edelt, rett og rent, alt som er verdt å elske og akte, det som er god livsførsel og som fortjener ros, legg vinn på det!"

"Se på dere selv, søsken, dere som ble kalt: ikke mange vise etter menneskelige mål og ikke mange med makt eller av fornem slekt. Men det som i verdens øyne er dårskap, det utvalgte Gud for å gjøre de vise til skamme, og det som i verdens øyne er svakt, det utvalgte Gud for å gjøre det sterke til skamme. Ja, det som i verdens øyne står lavt, det som blir foraktet, det som ikke er noe, det utvalgte Gud for å gjøre til intet det som er noe, for at ingen mennesker skal ha noe å være stolt av overfor Gud. Dere er hans verk [...], han som er blitt vår visdom fra Gud, vår rettferdighet, helliggjørelse og forløsning, for at den som er stolt, skal være stolt av Herren, slik det står skrevet. "

"«Min nåde er nok for deg, for kraften fullendes i svakhet.» Derfor vil jeg helst være stolt av mine svakheter, for at Guds kraft kan ta bolig i meg. Og derfor er jeg fylt av glede når jeg for Guds skyld er svak, blir mishandlet, er i nød, i forfølgelser og i angst. For når jeg er svak, da er jeg sterk."

"...dere kvinner... La ikke ytre stas, som frisyrer, gullkjeder og fine klær, være det som pryder dere, men hjertet, det skjulte mennesket med sin milde og rolige ånd, som er uforgjengelig og dyrebar for Gud. For slik smykket de hellige kvinnene seg i tidligere tider, de som satte sin lit til Gud."

"Kom til meg, alle dere som strever og bærer tunge byrder, og jeg vil gi dere hvile."

"Frykt ikke, for jeg er med deg, vær ikke redd, for jeg er din Gud!
Jeg gjør deg sterk og hjelper deg og holder deg oppe med min rettferds høyre hånd.
Se, til skamme og til spott blir alle som er harme på deg.
De blir til intet og går til grunne, de som går i rette med deg."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myais...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UG63X...
Profile Image for Tori Farmer.
106 reviews
August 2, 2020
My husband and I got a copy of this book to learn more about a Godly marriage after we attended an XO Marriage retreat with our church. There is a lot of good information in here. Some of it was good for now and some of it was good for later. There are some things that are not true. For example the information about a woman's hymen being useless and scientists being clueless. Many OB/GYN doctors that I have seen or talked to have said that it is to keep that area safe as a baby from bacteria that could get inside. Other than a few of these moments, this was a rather good and information book with many things my husband and I have used or done.
Profile Image for Jonathan Johnson.
385 reviews1 follower
October 3, 2020
Good book

Overall, this was a good book
There is never a limit on the number of books I can read to grow my relationship and this book was even better because my wife read it as well
This allowed us to share thoughts about the concepts in the book and to put together plans to grow our relationship
The one thing I want to enact from this book is a “vision retreat,” where you go on a mini vacation with only your spouse and you spend a majority of that time discussing the previous year and what plans you will put together for your family
Profile Image for Sanna Ditolla.
22 reviews
August 7, 2023
Such a good book that is easy to read with so many helpful insights.

I would have given this book 5 starts had it not been the incorrect teaching of soul-ties at the end of the book. We have a spirit, we are a soul. We do not tie our souls to someone. Otherwise we would bring all these other souls with us when we die, and that is not biblically accurate or stated in God’s Word. It’s interesting that he states there’s no soulmate yet then talks about soul-ties. It all stems from new age teaching that has crept into the Christian teaching.
Profile Image for Susan.
347 reviews
June 30, 2020
One of the things Bob and I do to keep our marriage strong is to read marriage related books together. We find they provide topics on which we can discuss. Jimmy Evans is one of my favorite Christian marriage counselors. I found him on TBN a few years ago and enjoyed his presentations. I would have given five stars but we have read other books by Evans so some of the material is repeatitive. Highly recommend it for any couple.
1 review
May 13, 2021
As always an excellent read

Jimmy Evans is excellent at explaining and teaching on such an important subject.
I read this book as a marriage refresher 20 years in and at times it was a comfort to know my husband andbI are still getting it right plus I learned a few new things and was reminded of some things we had forgotten.
I believe every couple, whether starting out or 50 years into their marriage should read this book.
Profile Image for Saloni Shah.
4 reviews1 follower
January 1, 2023
It not only gives practical advice but speaks on why we need to do what we need to do for our marriage to succeed. One of my favorite lines from this book is - "your marriage will stop working if you don't work on your marriage". Love is not a feeling it is an action and Jimmy describes it in this book very well! It is not gender-biased. would recommend couples to do this reading together and check on the health of their marriage
Profile Image for Otis.
383 reviews2 followers
November 14, 2020
Excellent enriching book. The Four Laws of Love is an awesome resource for anyone considering, seeking, and already married couples. It has so many nuggets of biblical truths to bless your relationship and unlock the doors to an extraordinary making of God purposed marriage. Recommend material. Caution: life changing if applied
Profile Image for Yomara Moreno.
9 reviews
December 28, 2020
Una obra de arte

Uno de los dos mejores libros que han caído en mis manos sobre matrimonio. El pastor Evans explica de manera magistral cada área importante en el matrimonio y da consejos prácticos para mejorarlo. Me ha llenado de fe y creo completamente que lo que dice es cierto!!
Profile Image for Charity (Booktrovert Reader).
885 reviews695 followers
April 29, 2021
What a great book on marriage by Jimmy Evans. He shared a lot of simple truths on creating a marriage that honors God and your spouse. It helped me evaulate how I communicate to my spouse and how to show love to him that will aid our marriage to floursh. I appreciate this book and the perspective that it persented.
46 reviews1 follower
September 26, 2022
This book is written across all ages and stages of marriage, and there many practical tools, practices and insight to better your marriage and understand your spouse. It's well structured and easy to read while covering some pretty deep topics. Certainly some items for me to take away and work on now, and revisit the book again in the future to build on it.
Profile Image for Milly Tomkinson.
120 reviews
January 17, 2024
This book was enlightening and beautifully written. This is a book you don’t just read once and put it back on the shelf, it is a book you read, work through individually and with your spouse, a book you pray over and a book you continuously refer to throughout your life.

I highly recommend getting a hardcover copy of you can so that it can truly stand the test of time.
Profile Image for Blake C Pfaff.
32 reviews1 follower
August 7, 2025
All in all a really great book on practical relationship wisdom and perspective to have for marriage.

Only knocks I have was his positive use of the term “complain” to your spouse. He should use a different word there. His theology on male headship and order of creation I would say go against historical Christian understanding.
85 reviews19 followers
March 12, 2020
Must read for all couples and singles!

This is the best marriage book I have ever read. Every person I know would benefit from Pastor Jimmy’s amazing insight into the Biblical model for love, relationships, and marriage. You won’t be able to put it down!
12 reviews
April 7, 2020
Good read

Enjoy this book because it's scripture base It made the scriptures come alive for me. Excellent talking points With your spouse while reading the book. I did not like the end of the book. I would have liked a wrap up or conclusion.
1 review
June 25, 2020
Very practical and Biblically sound

I loved reading this book. Jimmy does a great job in laying out simple yet very illusive ideas on marriage. I love that it was an easy read and it was full of practical advice!
Profile Image for BillieJo.
15 reviews
February 6, 2021
Was a help in a time of need

I started reading this in a time I really needed help figuring out how to move forward. Many of the things in this book have give me new ideas on how to do that and will help us build a stronger relationship with each other and God.
Profile Image for Denise.
393 reviews2 followers
September 28, 2021
I recommend all of Jimmy's stuff. His teachings on marriage are spot on. He gets it after he and his wife nearly divorced years ago. A wise friend just told me, and it's true, "You will only get out of this what you want to."
Profile Image for Kevin Trainer.
26 reviews8 followers
October 20, 2021
This book was very good and just what I needed . I need the Holy Spirit to teach me how to be a husband, a husband who loves his wife like Christ loves the church. I highly recommend this book to all married couples. Four stars for sure.
8 reviews
January 3, 2023
I Wish I Would Have Read This Sooner

Real talk on real issues. Jam packed with the biblical principles to build a lasting foundation for marriage. Pointed comments delivered in a non judgy/stuffy manner. A MUST READ
Profile Image for samantha holloway.
63 reviews
July 29, 2025
4.5 ⭐️ This book offered a lot of great marriage & relationship advice. It’s based very heavily on scripture & faith which I loved, but I think there is benefit to anyone looking to strengthen their relationship regardless of their beliefs.
Profile Image for Bobbi.
25 reviews
March 1, 2020
Every person, married, engaged, or even hopeful needs to read this book!!
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